No relationship is all sunshine,
but two people can share one umbrella
and survive the storm together.
anonym authorMeeting in a brothel
This impertinence! How could this person dare to contact him?!
Soo Won was fuming. His eyes reflected negative, raw emotions, mercifully hidden by darkness of the night.
General Ju do, who was walking next to him, understood the grim expression of his master ,although he knew, that this sentiment was not beneficial, and could even prove disadvantageous in this delicate situation.
However, he was pretty much aware that every word he could not spare right now, would worsen the situation.
A cold wind was blowing, tearing at their coats. There were barely any people on the streets. High above them rose the houses of dealers, and workers, tightly arranged against each other, casting their shadows over them and their nightly undertaking.
The two men strolled along the streets, turning right and left, until they entered a part of the town, that was mostly populated by special folks - entertainment was their sole field of work.
The most famous location was a huge and broad building, where lots of colorful laterns were swinging in the nightly wind, accompanied by roaring laughter and sounds that human beings produce when feeling utmost joy! Officially the owner conducted this establishment as a tavern; however, it was an open secret, that the goods of this house were not merely able to satisfy the usual kind of hunger.
General Ju do wished to flee the situation immediately. Out of all the places in the world, this person had suggested a brothel!
He did not believe in any god. If you do the work, he had to complete every day, you barely have enough room for silly believes. And yet, he resented every god ever named in this country for putting him through this situation. He would have prefered even to battle a dragon, if somebody had asked him. Problematic was merely that nobody did.
At the same time Soo Won was gritting his teeth, as if the door was directly responsible for his whole misery. Ju do simply opened the door and his king followed.
There was no helping it, after all. Do what you can. Move forward. That was their aim!
A dimly lit hallway lay before them and Ju do wondered, where the hungry wolves of this establishment couched. Nearly immediately after the two men had set foot in this house, a sweet alluring flower presented herself in front of them.
The girl was young, awfully young in General Ju do´s eyes and he wondered why his master had led him here of all places in the world. Even the craftfully used make-up and the costly clothes could not belie the age of this „woman."
Soo Won´s boiling anger seemed to cool down at the sight of the far too young person. For a fleeing moment, Ju do believed that his master´s face had paled a few shades. Both men didn´t utter a single word, when this girl showed them the way to their rented room.
However, after the girl had left at the door, Soo Won murmured:" I hope, that she doesn´t work in that field."
Both looked at each other and Ju do nodded, fully understanding his master´s thoughts for once.
The door was opened from inside. A shy young maiden, not as pleasant to the eye as the previous girl, extended her neck.
„Please come inside, Mylord," she said and both men were led inside.
Soo Won entered much calmer than a moment before and along came Ju do, wo secured the back. The King of Kouka faced one of his subordinates, who had pleaded for him to visit her. The location Soo Won had chosen was this. The most famous brothel of the Earth Tribe. The king had his reasons for his choice.
Kan Nevly smiled shyly at the king, when she bowed respectfully in front of him. Her long, black hair flowed down her shoulders. Her dress was completely white and she didn´t wear one piece of jewelry, her eyes, however, showed bewitching long, black eyelashes.
„Your Majesty, I am so grateful that you visit this servant of yours, tonight."
Blue eyes, cold as ice, studied her efforts to demonstrate regret, but the expression on his face remained frozen and impenetrable.
Maintaining her smile, she lifted her head and was relieved that he didn´t hinder her to do so. So at least the rumours were true: This person didn´t seem to be a needlessly cruel man.
„Mylady,"Soo Won declared offishly,"please tell me, why you insisted on meeting me. My time is scarce and I intend to finish this conversation as quickly as possible."
Lady Kan nodded, heavily bowing her head. In her eyes there was the reflection of the person in front of her.
„Of course your Majesty, this servants is aware of her wrongdoings. If she can atone for her sins...if his Majesty knows a way…."
The king stood there in the middle of the small room; he seemed completely unfazed by her plea.
Kan Nevly pressed her head hard on her interwined hands.
„I beg you, your Majesty, please,"she pleaded,"please, spare my husband and his family."
Soo Won observed her act carefully, yet without giving any hint of his actual thoughts. In contrast to his usual smile, he wore an iron mask.
„Are you aware of the effects of your actions?"asked Soo Won seriously. She detected the wrath in his voice, even though he very well had succeeded in suppressing the most of it.
Just a tiny trace of it showed its menacing head now. Like a poisonous snake.
The situation she was in, was indeed dangerous. One wrong move and she was finished. Forget it, she didn´t even know, if there was still a way out of this situation. Nevly was awfully aware of this. This man could finish her family´s fate.
Maybe he was not the most cruel king, yet he surely was not a kind man. She understood.
Nevly fell to her knees, pressing her forehead to the floor.
„I am aware that I endangered your uncle and that the information I provided The Princess may have lead to the downfall of some of his most trusted allies, but...please...I beg you...your Majesty, my brothers are still servants of the Princess of Kai! Please, I beg you, have mercy with my husband, who did nothing wrong. I understand, that you wish to punish me...I..," her voice broke, she had tried to feign strength the whole time.
Soo Won closed his eyes. The flickering light of the candles painted shadows on his face. It was painful. He knew. He knew it so well. The person he loathed the most was not this not so pitiful woman kneeling on the floor. It was himself. He had been the person, who should have understood.
„Please lift your head,"he said, lowering his head.
„I am aware of your situation. Therefore I would suggest, that if the information you could give to me proves to be valuable, then your family has nothing to fear," he continued in a nearly friendly tone. In contrast to her husband, Kan Nevly had been keemly aware of the effects and the risk she took. She was surely a traitor, yet, he did not dare to touch her, since he feared the retaliation of the fire tribe.
Soo Won looked her into her eyes. Bloodshed could still be avoided.
Reluctantly she raised her head from the ground, being fully aware that her beauty most likely has suffered. The make-up has melted on her face and dark circles were surrounding her eyes.
„I swear, your Majesty. I will tell you everything."
The king gave his approval, and the subordinate gave in.
Her past
Lily had left her room, roaming the castle in the night. The message had greatly scared her. She could not bear to stay.
She was not sure if not Tetora or Ayura were following her, though she was not able to see them. The floor was only dimly lit. The candles were painting different forms on the wall. Just like ghosts...they appeared in the darkness. Lily felt still so sick, thinking of this. Thinking of her...Her pale face was appearing in front of her eyes.
Lily was wandering like a soulless person herself. Her heart beat furiously in her chest.
As if she wished to see somebody...The pain and the fear...that she had been mistaken again.
Why did she doubt him so greatly? Had she become crazy? It was most likely that he...was also worried for her. Of course.
Instead of trusting him, she was wandering. Maybe it was also partially, that the message had left that impression in her...that everything could be finished. She was relieved. Yet, it was disturbing and making her restless.
It was a strange feeling, reminding her of the time, when she had just arrived at Hiryuu Castle. Now it seemed long ago, a life time away, that she had rushed inside, wishing to speak with King Soo Won about her lost lover. The one that resembled Geuntae – the man she had dreamt to marry from a very young age.
It was so funny. What was she searching for? He was not here.
They were never here…
She sighed. How come she has become this anxious and distrustful? His behaviour had been strange, but why did she doubt him so much?
This castle was really big and foreign to her. She passed many door in search of something or somebody. At one point in time the flickering light made her see things. A pale, white form, with long, shimmering hair stood outside, gazing at the dark sky…
Lily reached out, approached that being…A fleeing image rose in her mind of a man she had observed every so often, roaming the castle grounds in the night. Nearly every night she had noticed it, that this person moved around, sleeplessly by night.
It didn´t matter if it was a ghost or a vision...Maybe it was the true thing.
The door flew open, granting her the sight of a person, she had hardly expected to be there.
„Mylady?", she asked and looked in the sleep-deprived face of Lady Yun ho.
„Your Majesty," she replied warmly, turning her head to her guest. Her hazelnut hair was flying in the nightly wind, blissfully illuminated by the lamps´light.
„Why are you still awake at that hour?",asked Lily curiously, trying to hide her embarrassment. Most likely she appeared like a mad woman in the eyes of her hostess.
„The children have finally calmed down and are now asleep," she said with a tender voice. Her warm brown eyes glanced at the stars high above.
„I...just thought it was beautiful to watch them...once in a while."
In Lily´s opinion the mother looked a little tired, which reminded her that this fate was soon to be hers…This thought bore complicated feelings in her.
With a guilty conscience, she realized that she had barely thought about her child during the last couple of days. There have been so much events that had absorbed her attention completely.
Lily sighed inwardly, though Lady Yun ho smiled kindly at her.
„You seem to be preoccupied, too, your Majesty."
She closed her eyes, telling the other woman in a calm tone:"There is no need to worry, your Majesty, everything will be fine. I doubt that your worries will become reality."
Lily gazed at the wide, dark sky, commenting helplessly:"How sure you are, Lady Yun ho, I´d wished, that I was as sure as you are."
Silently the other woman was observing her, however without the presence of any animosity.
„How is she doing it?",Lily wondered for the thousand time since she knew this tiny, delicate woman.
„How can she completely overlook, that I once was so deeply in love with her husband, that I thought of him, imagined the wildest things...With every time the same conclusion, that it was impossible,...because she was there. Because of her existence, I was unable to be with the man I loved,"Lily thought, pretty frustrated by the present situation. If she had at least resented her, it would have been easier. But this person had always been kind to her.
The stars were blinking, high above, at the two women, who stood alone under their care. Lily had seen this scene so often before, but right now, she thought just of one moment. Though there were a few clouds disturbing this image of a pure, black night sky.
The day they had married, they had sat at the table during the night. It may have been such a (nearly) clear sky, covered with lots and lots of stars, but now she realized that she could not remember.
The only thing she clearly remembered from that night, was what he had told her.
They had both expressed their wishes, while fully being aware that their relationship was not one of that sweet, honey-filled romances Lily had read in the past.
„I envy you," Lily declared, suddenly. Because it was true and she hated to feign ignorance any longer. This move was cruel...and certainly heartless.
Her mother probably knew a thousand reasons to have not uttered those words. Every one so brilliant like the next one.
She overstepped the line. Of courtesy and decency. All her mother´s teachings in vain. Again.
Staring at Lily´s face, she answered simply:" I know. I have always known."
Lily closed her eyes and felt relieved. At least that lessened her guilty conscience. So it had been indeed like this: They had both played a game. The one who had pretended not to know and the one, who had witheld the truth. Quite simple. Indeed.
„What do you wish to say, your Majesty?", asked Lady Yun ho and Lily could detect surprisingly curiosity in her voice and no malice at all. What a woman!
Lily laughed.
Raising her brows, Lady Yun ho asked:" Do you think this is amusing, your Majesty?"
Grinning at her, Lily said:" You don´t, Lady Yun ho? Pretending all that years, that you don´t know how I feel about your husband..."
Absurd. Oh..it was all so absurd now.
Nodding, Lady Yun ho added:"Surely, it might be rather strange. But what would you have done? You were still so young and had just lost your mother."
Lady Yun ho sighed. Almost. Lily would have almost laughed again. It was so funny! Now here she was, talking with the spouse of the man she had once desired.
About her mother! The woman, who had been betrayed by her husband...many times...countless..enough for Lily to remember on several occasions without trying.
„Men are like this,Lily",she had told the 10 year old child. Hadn´t she told the same thing Yona years ago? Yona had not been able to believe it!
Two years later her mother had been dead. She had died of a lung disease. Cold weather and a cold heard didn´t help one to have a good grip on one´s own life.
It was so hilarious! Truly funny! Has anybody ever heard anything more ridiculous?
Her lips formed a smile, completely involuntarily. Hastily Lily hid it under her hand, trying to suppress the laughter inside of her. Glorious! Just Glorious!
Something wet on her cheeks.
Surprised Lily noticed that tears were streaming down her face.
Lady Yun ho stood next to her, looked at her quietly and waited.
Then Lily lowered her head and cried. Still trying to stiffle the sounds with her hand. A warm hand took hers, squeezed it tenderly.
Warm, delicate arms closed around her, embracing her, holding her tight.
„It is alright," she repeated her earlier statement and meant it. Lily could feel it in the way she was holding her.
The tears kept on coming. Further and further. Would it ever end?
„Soo Won…,"Lily suddenly said,"I think that he...he is reminded of his parents,..when he sees you two." That was most likely the reason, that he considered them a „nice couple."
Wearily, she leaned her head on this narrow shoulders, closing her eyes.
She liked that person. Very much. Just like Lord Geuntae.
„I wished Soo Won was here,"Lily thought.
Three reasons(I)
There were exactly three reasons, why he was sitting here, right at this place. The first one was the event, that had just happened at Hiryuu Castle. And also, but to a lesser degree the events in Kai Empire.
That woman placed herself in front of him on a comfortable chair, with thick, soft cushions. Interestingly it was a little lower than Soo Won´s own chair, helping to create the impression of dominance over this petit woman in front of him. Her shining black hair was flowing down her back, her eyes as dark as the sky at night. The dark-blue dress merely indicated her rather „womanly" figure.
Soo Won still remembered that this woman didn´t tend to wear shoes. A fact that had greatly surprised him in the past. He even remembered the fragrance of minthe she must have applied. He was so glad that Lily didn´t like that scent or else he would have a problem. How easily such a simple impression could be darkened by bad experiences.
Respectfully she greeted him:"Your Majesty, this servant is delighted to greet you, here, in this modest establishment, we call our own!"
With one of his casual smiles, he reciprocated her greeting. In fact, he was curious if he was able to reap some fruits here.
„It has been a long time, your Majesty,"she started the conversation. The sweet smile on her face appeared unconsciously. This woman could not deny her profession.
„Indeed, Lady Sen," replied Soo Won, looking down at the cup of tea in his hands. A slightly red flower bloomed in it, radiating its odor.
Leaning comfortably in her chair, she asked:"What is your Majesty´s wish? Why did you visit this humble servant? I don´t think it were my previous abilities in a certain area, that has led his Majesty to me?"
Blinking, Soo Won raised his eyebrows, smiling mechanically.
Surely not. Just thinking about it, was a cruel event in itself. Soo Won could not remember, when he had ever felt so helpless and disgusted with himself at during that moment.
„Lady Sen, is correct, I have to decline the offer, since my reasons for this visit are delicate and I know...", Soo Won looked up and glanced directly in these big, dark orbs, that curiously observed him," that Lady Sen is able to help me."
Pursing her lips, she replied:"Then it is indeed for that reason. Good. That adds a little spice to the whole affair."
Of course she knew, what he had come for. This little act was a part of their relationship. He only seeked her for „that" once and the last couple of years for the other reason, though she usually tended to write to him.
Looking again at his cup, before he put it on his lips, he commented:"The tea has an interesting aroma. Sweet and fragrant. Just a little bitter at the end. I guess," his blue eyes met hers," I guess, that the tea is quite famous in Kai Empire?"
Shifting her weight,she said:" Indeed, your Majesty. It is. It is said that his Highness, the younger princess adores it greatly."
Lowering his cup,Soo Won added:" Though I do think that the princess may have no time, to enjoy her tea. At least I think that it is rather rare in Kouka."
Lifting her brows,Lady Sen replied:"So his Majesty is already aware, that the Princess resides right now inside Kouka?"
Soo Won relaxed his shoulders. So it was indeed true. The information of Kan Nefly was correct then at least regarding this.
That woman showed him her profile. Soo Won knew what had attracted him, when he had chosen this person a long time ago. Well, it had been only 6 years ago. An unsusal birthday present of General Geuntae.
His tea was getting cold. He should hurry. Lily would be most likely concerned. He had hardly told her anything.
Soo Won put the tea down. The red flower slightly swayed. Yona…
Desperately he wished to hide his face. What had he just done?! His earlier fury….it had been partly an act, as Kan Nevly should never doubt, that he was not a king that one could hoodwink so easily. If he showed weakness, he would reap betrayal. He was not like King Il. He could not allow himself to resemble this person.
Yona…
It was just like at that time. He could nearly feel it in his hands. Her flaming red hair. Another Kan had come. Kan Tae Jun.
„Princess Yona has died..."
His reaction had been the same one as it had been back then. Caught in a stupor, he had looked at the letter Ju do had handed him earlier. He didn´t know, how long he had been standing there.
Soo Won believed that Lily had tried to talk with him at one point in time, but he had not been able to hear her. The hissing in his ears had made it impossible.
Soo Won closed his eyes. It was not true. It had been just his fear that had played a trick on his mind, twisting the meaning of the sentences. She was only slightly hurt. Yona was still alive.
Even more than the information about his uncle, this message of the attack had shook his basis. Of course he had to continue. Walk further. He could not stop. Never.
However, it had been his fault, if...something like this had happened. If she had died...it would have been his fault. He had put her in that position, where she received a hit for him. He had clearly underestimated this person, just because she was young. The assassins sent after Lily and him, proofed to be only a diversion.
He had been not the target. Or at least had he not been the only target. How could he have been so blind?
estranged
„It is better, if you don´t come here anymore," greeted the young man her. His eyes were directed at a point over her head.
Yona was still startled by his unfriendly behaviour. It was worse than at the beginning.
„I merely wanted to know, how you two are. That is all," she replied and felt her heart painfully thumping in her chest, trying to hide her arm. The blood had stopped long ago, but there was still a little flesh wound left. Her healing abilities were not that extraordinary like the one of her companion, that had not bothered to meet this person.
His eyes focused under long eyelashes on a completely different object. Yona wondered if he still claimed certain things. If certain things were still, how they used to be? It was hard to ask him. Still, sometimes her skin prickled as if his eyes were on her.
Avoiding her eyes, he threw a few more vegetables on his cart. So he still did that. It fitted him. Besides the food, there were other things carefully placed inside. Neat and clean. This person hadn´t changed one bit.
Yona´s heart ached thinking that. She observed him how he lived here detached, from her and the others, yet she still felt so close to him.
A lean young man, now much taller than her, with light brown hair, bond into a pony tail. This delicate features would still earn him a title. Sweat was running down his forehead and there was a slight sunburn on his cheeks and nose.
Even though he had loved to proclaim his own worth repeatedly, this person had always been a hard worker.
She knew what would happen. Still, seeing him like that. She could not help it.
„ I´ll help. It is much faster this way," she said, trying to sound happy, trying to overlook his sour face.
„No, thanks. I do not need the help of some advisor of the king," he replied, putting some strange boxes inside.
Yona´s smile froze. Of course. This had been the explanation ,why this guy here had no interest in their friendship anymore.
He just stopped to care...halfway…
Turning around, she said:"Goodbye, Yoon. I hope you become a great priest and an even better doctor!"
Yoon didn´t even turn around. Yona felt like tears were streaming down her cheeks.
„I told you, that it is already too late," commented Zeno nonchalantly, when Yona turned around once again, because she could not believe it. She had not wished to see it.
She saw Yoon staring at them with a piercing glare, until Yona and Zeno finally left.
Yona still could not believe it. She was sure, she never would be able to accept it so easily.
Three reasons(II)
„Your Majesty?", asked Lady Sen, tilting her head inqiringly. Her black eyes were observing him. She smirked. His reactions must appear puzzling for her.
Soo Won opened his eyes, facing directly the black eyes of that woman. In fact, Soo Won had liked her eyes previously. A long time ago.
This person had at least two professions, that were basically the same. This woman was a sort of merchant. One time she sold her body to men, at other times and more regularily she traded information.
Since she was over 40 years, the later profession was now her main source of income. Still, she had been better than the other women in that establishment.
Soo Won had chosen her previously, because there were only women that had a too big resemblance to Lady Yun ho and Soo Won harbored quite ambitious dreams, but has never had the wish to become intimidate with the spouse of General Geuntae. The blondes reminded him of his own mother and he surely also didn´t suffer from that tendency. The redheads were even worse...just like Yona!
The only black-haired woman had been Lady Sen.
So at the end it had been Lady Sen. A way out of this situation was unfortunately also not possible. General Geuntae had proved to have the foresight to place a guard outside...in order to protect his Majesty...Sure...As if a woman would be able to overpower him so easily. And why was the guard positioned outside? Well, Soo Won would have declined the possibility to station him in the room. There had been that many people,so that he had been unable to flee out of the window.
And if he thought about it, he knew, that it was not out of the question, that a woman could have overwhelmed him in the right moment. All these facts had been unknown to Soo Won previously, but had become quite clear after „it" had happened.
Soo Won didn´t wanted to talk broadly about this experience. If he had been allowed to, he would have forgotten that „it" had in fact taken place long ago. It had been just a series of embarrassing events. This twenty year old virgin had had no clue what to do at all.
Sexual intercourse had not been on his list, when faced with the challenge of becoming king. Soo Won had been so sure in the past, that he would not last that long...Well, talking about wrong assumptions.
Now he was still king. Same old story. Same old problems.
To make it short: This person in front of him had rescued him. ...out of desperation, when he had actually considered to jump down the window, even though he had been stark naked.
Due to her calm and „motherly" appearance, she was able to lessen the stress in most customers. Though she openly laughed at her customers at times, too.
And you had to be careful around her, not to divulge too much information. Not to show her too much. This person would sell everything to the highest bidder.
It was best to concentrate. Soon there would be nothing left of his anger or fear. That was the second reason for him to be here. One could suppress every feeling with the rational mind. Neither Lily had earnt his behaviour, nor did his subjects. He had failed and he could not allow himself to repeat this mistake.
„Of course, some people are already aware, that the Princess tries to finish her business here in Kouka Kingdom," Soo Won repeated, smiling casually at this person.
„However, her latest try to „end our cause" has utterly failed and the captured assassin has revealed quite delicate matters…,"said Soo Won, and then sipped the already cooled down tea.
That woman had shifted her weight, but tried to present him a calm composure. He could nearly see how her nose was moving. She was reeking a „hot story". Perfect.
Here he could actually exchange valuable information by mixing lies and true facts.
Soo Won was leaning back and waited. Luckily she took the bait.
„So you were already aware of her wish to get rid of the „Red King"?
„Indeed."
A blunt lie. Soo Won had been completely unaware until that event happened.
„What did he tell you?", asked that person curiously, licking her lips.
„Lady, Sen," Soo Won furrowed his brows," I think it is your turn."
The lady smiled and said:"Of course, you might like to know the current location of the Princess? Unfortunately I can merely tell you that she rented a room in Usu, near the capital of the Earth Tribe, yesterday. However, the last time my little helpers asked, she had already moved."
Soo Won looked quite satisfied, in reality, he was relieved. So Lady Kan didn´t lie at least regarding this. Though he said:"I am already aware that the Princess is currently a guest of a certain noble in the Fire Tribe."
Lady Sen´s eyes twinkled.
Good. The first lie was bought. In fact, Soo Won believed her to be in a complete different location. Kan Nevly had confirmed his assumption.
If he was lucky, she would spread this lie.
Her future
It was hard to say, what she felt right now. Embarrasment was realistically one part of it. Throwing her arms around Lady Yun ho and howling like a wolf on her chest. As if she was a clueless, silly child!
On the other hand, she was glad. She finally was aware that Lady Yun ho had not been just an innocent victim of her imagination, but had at least consciously put up with her „love for Lord Geuntae."
„I am really sorry, Lady Yun ho. I don´t know why I did behave like this!"
Her face felt so warm in this cold autumn night.
Lady Yun ho just shook her head and smiled.
„I think that your Majesty was just stressed and worried a little too much. That is really understandable. Your situation is not quite easy. You also didn´t understand, why the king had left so suddenly."
The lady stared at her small, soft hands, furrowing her brows, she added:" Sometimes men are a little cruel."
If Lady Yun ho had transformed into a strange being, Lily would have been not more surprised then now. It was the first and only word of criticism, this person had ever mentioned.
So this person had also to bear her own worries. The spouse of a warrior would always be afraid that her husband wouldn´t come back after a battle.
Lily clenched her fists. The same did apply to the wife of the king. Or at least to her husband. Soo Won tended to take part in wars, rather than letting only other people suffer. Lily wondered if it was the fault of his own feelings of guilt.
„I am actually surprised," Lily said, trying to focus her attention on a less heavy topic," that you tolerated my love for General Geuntae."
„It is easier now, then it was in the past," Lady Yun ho replied shortly. Quite vaguely.
Lily blinked. Lady Yun ho had turned her face away.
„It was not always easy. But I didn´t know what to do."
Then she glanced at Lily, meeting her eyes.
„ I know that my husband, that Lord Geuntae loves me. In his way - he demonstrates this every day. That is reassuring, your Majesty. You don´t doubt your husband so easily."
Lily nodded. Alright. She could understand it. Why bother with the fantasies of a young girl, if you are aware of your husbands love?
Lady Yun ho threw a glance at Lily. It was not unkind, but it had a knowing, sagacious air.
„ Your Majesty, dare I make an assumption?"
What could she do then to allow it? There was nothing she wanted to know more, except for one thing.
„Of course," replied Lily.
„Your Majesty, I think that you are not in love with my husband. At least not anymore."
Goosebumps were spreading on Lily´s skin. Was she right?
Three reasons (III)
From here on, Soo Won had fed this lady „facts" - at least half of them were indeed true. Of course there were no obvious lies, merely news that were hard to classify and were unlikely to be found out, since their relevance would be insignificant after a short period of time.
At the end, Soo Won wished to ask one single question, that desperately interested him, even now. Even though he felt more than a pang of guilt, thinking about that issue. But this was the only source Soo Won knew, where he could pose such a question!
Now, he no longer pretended to be calm, since he knew that the nervosity he felt right now seemed more natural.
Soo Won leaned back,interwined his fingers, smiling sweetly at Lady Sen.
The dubious glance she shot at him, told him clearly, that she knew that he was up to something. And most likely a thing, she did not appreciate.
And really, this question was pretty important, even though Soo Won was quite aware, that it was except for carelessness the sole reason why he had reacted so late regarding those events. How could he have underestimated this person so greatly?
Choking down a sigh, Soo Won spoke:"Lady Sen, I had hoped that you could help me with a matter that is of a more...private nature."
For a moment, Soo Won imagined that he was sitting in front of a black cat, observing him with her black eyes. Her face was impenetrable.
He felt like his courage immediately was reduced to shreds.
Still, he continued, blinking maybe a little more nervously:" It seems that I really would like to know how to court a woman without reducing my chances that she may share my feelings to nothingness."
Rubbing his sweating palms together, Soo Won exhaled slowly. At least he had finally asked the question that had bugged him since he had realized that he may have fallen in love with his own spouse.
Now that thick black cat in front of him, was blinking a few times, before she stared at him. As if he was something abnormal. Why again? Just like Hak.
Soo Won wished to sigh, but was afraid that it may would mean bad luck regarding this matter, so he threw the thought out of his mind in the same instant.
Then as if Soo Won didn´t feel odd enough, that person threw her head back and laughed. About him. Great! So the answer was either so simple that every fool knew it. - of course every fool, but him! - or impossible to answer and every fool knew it – of course every fool, but him!
Soo won wanted to hide his face and spare himself the misery of her laughter, but luckily for him, she soon stopped this painful behaviour!
Lifting her hands in a pleading gesture, she said:" Please excuse me, your Majesty for my earlier complete lack of thoughtfulness. I was just wondering what important matter you wished to discuss and then...this!" There was not even an ounce of any guilty feeling in her voice!
Furrowing his brows, Soo Won had to comment:" You surely hide your regret so masterfully, that I am unable to detect even the slightest hint of it."
Lady Sen bowed, still with a twinkle in her black eyes:"I am sorry, if I should have hurt your feelings. However, I would be delighted to answer that question if you are still interested."
Soo Won nodded:" Of course."
His question why that cheeky person had laughed at him, was answered immediately:" I am really sorry, your Majesty, but I need to know what kind of person that woman is, since my advice would lead at best to no effect and at worst to a disaster regarding your love interest."
This truly puzzled, but simultaneously also amused Soo Won. He smirked.
„Do you have so little confidence in your own advice, Lady Sen?"
Raising her eyebrows now herself, she replied:" Your Majesty, I believe that you have already used every common method to vow this woman to no avail. So the lady is not easily shaken...also...I am sorry, to ask, but I need to know….Do you wish for that woman´s heart or merely her body? That would make a huge difference regarding the advice. Also I would need to know what features define the lady in your eyes."
Soo Won admired her for not asking straightforwardly who that special lady was. He knew that she must be very interested, since it was information she could sell his enemies. However, she had found a way to circumvent. If he told her of the features of the woman, she would be able to deduct if it was his spouse or a different woman.
It would be favorable, if he could fool her. However, she knew that he was likely not a lady´s man. There were no concubines in the entirety of Hiryuu Castle to be found. In fact, she must have heard the strange rumours that he would prefer the company of men...which was not entirely wrong, but not in that way…
Smiling casually at her, he hoped and replied:"This person is..."Soo Won stopped. It was hard to say...because this time it must conceal Lily´s identity, but still allow him to receive sensible advice concerning that matter.
„She is," he started again to describe, when he finally noticed who he should „take" at the beginning,"...She has strawberry-blond long hair, a distinctive face and is quite tall for a woman, and her eyes are..."
Up until now he had imagined his older sister, since she was the only woman that he remembered, that looked completely different than Lily, yet resembled her slightly.
If a person had to lie, it was easier to take so much from the truth as one could allow himself. It was easier to remember.
However his mind had wandered to the original he wished to see...Luckily he was able to suppress that urge at the right time.
„She has beautiful green eyes, shimmering like the deepest lake on a clear spring day. Nobody is able to tell her thoughts, only the wind, blowing through the cold air is able to move her heart,"
Soo Won suddenly recited...His voice had been gentle, yet filled with sadness….A poem his father had created, describing his feelings for his mother…It was the only thing that had come to his mind at that moment.
It was strange, Soo Won´s chest felt a little stuffy, when he thought about the misfortune of his father...Was this his fate as well? Was he, the child of a couple that should have never been come together, destined to suffer the same destiny?
Soo Won had not considered himself not being likable before the coup...back in the days, when his only worry was how to grow up and find his wings...Oh how much he wished to go back to this days...Why did he lie? Of course there has always been something not good…
His father was rarely at home, his mother was often preoccupied...Did he really chose to travel outside completely voluntarily? Wasn´t it also to flee from home? To find other people...Hadn´t he wished and found people that had cared for him?...But that was...Soo Won wished to hide his face...That was all in the past.
It hurt. So why did he not stop? It was pointless. Why dwell on it?
„Your Majesty, are you alright?", she asked, looking dubiously at him, resembling more than ever a thick cat. Soo Won would have nearly laughed. It was really so funny. This whole situation was so hilarious!
Here he was sitting in front of a former prostitute, while the woman he wished to see was somewhere else.
He closed his eyes for a moment. He really wished to see her. He had to hurry.
Soo Won exhaled and opened his eyes. There was no time to waste.
„I am sorry, Lady Sen, „ he explained," I was merely so taken by the picture of my beloved, that I lost myself for a moment."
Furrowing her eyes, she clearly showed, that she didn´t really buy his explanation, but was that important? He still had to continue.
„Where was I? Ah yes, she has beautiful green eyes, but she is," unconsciously the corners of his mouth were lifted upwards,"...pretty headstrong...She really has her own mind and only listens to me, if she herself is persuaded that it is the right choice."
A broad smile was on his lips, his eyes brimming with a sweet feeling. Lady Sen felt a pang of jealousy rose inside of her. A truly horrible feeling, that twisted the insides of her gut.
She had to avoid these eyes for a while, to suppress that feeling.
Lady Sen could not allow herself a sentiment like this. Other women might be able to do so...like this ungrateful person, the king loved.
Love….She closed her eyes. It had been so long, since she had met a man where it had been so obvious. Her own husband had died far too soon. The other men rarely were able to harbor such sentiments...most of her customers had been shallow, pitiful men….And she had believed that this one in front of her was not different. A guy who had behaved so stupidly, nervously and ridiculously at his „first time", just like all the others. She had even considered that he favored men instead of women! How wrong had she been!
With the same look of utter bliss, like he was able to see the most beautiful view...a sight that was only visible for him...he continued in his description:"„She is kind at the strangest times, yet fierce at others and I think, that is really great," he said tenderly as if he would talk to a child. Or his most beloved person...
She turned her head away, but he was so caught in the moment, he didn´t notice it anymore. It seemed.
The way he looked...he really was in love with that person...if that was the case...then…
„I think, this might be enough information, your Majesty" she interrupted him, since she couldn´t bear this monologue any more, but added just in case:" Your love interest is quite extraordinary, that is why I hope you aren´t too disappointed if I can only give you a pretty simple advice."
Quite satisfied with this result, Soo Won smiled at her: „Of course, I am glad regardless of the advice you are able to give. Every little hint could be helpful."
„Alright," she said and leaned gracefully back, straigthening her back," then this is the advice I would like to give you, your Majesty: Tell her. Be open regarding your feelings. Show yourself. Even your weaknesses."
Soo Won blinked. Somehow he was more than a little surprised. Of all things she could have told him, he had expected this the least – above else fromt that person, who was quite like him. She was a woman that rarely showed her true colors or spoke a honest word without twisting it a few times.
As her customer seemed to be really taken aback, she explained matter-of-factly:"If you wish for the „real thing" you will be only able to receive that woman´s love, if you open your heart. If you are lucky, she will love you, if you are unlucky, she won´t. It is as simple as this. There are no shortcuts to „true love" if that is what you wish for."
Soo Won nodded. So that was all he could do now. If he was lucky...well...Soo Won thought that there was more than luck that determined this sort of relationship, however, he agreed. There was no way to „make a person feel in a certain way".
Maybe they should have started with possible mistakes he had made? All in all, it had been a miserable idea of him. What had he expected? How he should be in order to receive her love? Wasn´t that rather strange? If he was lucky…
Yet he felt again this urge to hide his face in his hands. If he was lucky...had there been a time, when he had been that truly lucky?
It was pointless to dwell on it. Anyhow. What a cheap advice! He has planned to confess properly anyhow, but...Soo Won stopped himself in time to suppress the sigh in his throat.
Observing him calmly, she asked:"I have assured you that it was just a simple statement, your Majesty. This humble servant is unfortunately not that wise to give you proper advice." She bowed respectfully.
But Soo Won shook his head.
„It is alright. Then I hope that I will receive further, sensible information, Lady Sen," Soo Won replied kindly.
„Blessings to his Majesty, his cause and wishes," Lady Sen bowed one more time in front of him.
When Soo Won got up to leave the room, the lady called him back one more time.
„Your Majesty, I think this could prove to be useful on your way home," she said, while she handed him a mysterious object.
Soo Won stared at it, then suddenly started to laugh. What was that? Could it be? That was truly funny! Absolutely delicious!
So Soo Won seemed to be pretty happy, when he fetched Ju do who had managed to not pass out from so much pushy women that tried to „persuade him". Ju do shuddered. It had been horrible. What had he suffered for his master and his capricious wishes!
Grumbling and swearing inwardly at this cruel master, Ju do stepped outside and was a little surprised. To top it all, it had started to rain. It was not a heavy mass of water that rushed down on the human beings, but it was not so light, that it would not leave traces. Well, a man could handle that much.
However, before Ju do could step out, Soo Won had opened the umbrella, smiling at him, radiant with joy. Ju do wondered if his master had really only received information…
The rain was drumming on the top of the umbrella, Soo Won looked up at the sky, the smile still on his face. It had been a day like this, when they had met the first time…
Would she at least accept his feelings, even if she was not able to reciprocate them?
Doubtfully, Soo Won looked back. He hoped that at least this person would spread the information, that he had another lover. There was no way to know, if she really took the bait, but Soo Won really prefered it...
If he was truly lucky, then the assassins would spare Lily...
…..and the conclusion
It had been a day like this. A dark grey, wet day with a rather quiet downfall of rain.
13 years ago
Nene loved the bustling atmosphere of the Earth Tribe. Eager and enthusiastic people, she had said. With a strong and faithful leader, General Geuntae, she had said. This person had become a general at a very young age, Nene had emphasized.
Lily wondered, why she had wished to marry her father, a not very enthusiastic man, who valued grace and quietness over agitation every day.
Right now, they were visiting a real tournament! They were sitting nearly at the front! All the people were chatting, some were eating or drinking. The guys behind them were fervidly discussing the last battle that had taken place a long time ago. Obviously. Since the country was quite peaceful for a long time. This kind of things happened here. Even battles and all kinds of things happened here.
Her father would not have liked this kind of conversations. Nene´s blue eyes showed the same enthusiasm that she was feeling right now! Maybe it would be better with Nene? Right?
Somehow this didn´t seem right...Was she a cruel person? Her mother had just died a year ago. Lily had nobody told it, but she had felt quite strange during that time.
Shouldn´t she feel sad? Grieved? Hurt? Or at least angry at somebody?
But she...she had felt nothing at all. Lily was shifting in her seat, staring at her hands.
Suddenly people were screaming, some were even raising from their seats. The 13 year old girl had lifted her head and there he had been…
„General Geuntae! That is General Geuntae,"Nene shouted, Lily nodded, but didn´t noticed Nene.
Her eyes were solely focused on that man…
Lily wondered.How had he looked like at that moment? It had been such a long time ago. Like a life time away.
When she tried to remember, the picture would always be the Geuntae exactly how he looked now.
Strong, broad shoulders, long brown hair...His face had been stunning. But it was hard to remember the details...But she knew about his eyes...His eyes...they had been like the ones of a tiger. Dangerous and wild.
Somebody who wouldn´t fear a little agitation! Somebody who was loud and who could shake heaven and earth!
Neither of his competitors had even the slightest chance against this man! Quick and lightly moved this person, unafraid of the people in front of him...Lily´s heart had been fluttering for the first time...at least that strongly...like it was ready to take flight any minute...out of her chest...to that man!
It was strange, that she remembered this emotion still so vividly. She could even see that 13 year old girl, with a head full of chunk that was supposed to be trampled on...Poor girl, she was still unaware of it.
Lily nodded, pleased that she had at least partly remembered. It seemed to be important, when his spouse claimed that she was not in love with him anymore.
After all, he had been the cause for her first big mistake...now Lily wondered if she had ever loved Dong-Geun wholeheartly like she should have…
She was gritting her teeth...This feelings had been enough for her to flee her home, to leave the secure world to go with him into a foreign country, where he had been the only hope and help she had…
Princess Tao was a friend of Yona´s,but had been nearly a stranger to Lily in the beginning. Lily shook her head. Further. She had to think more about that day...why did she fell in love with that man? Even though her mother had been betrayed by her husband...Several times…
Lily thought of her mother´s face…A fine, sweet, doll like face...She had been so fragile, yet so unmoving...Lily sighed. Somehow she could understand her father now.
Was that the reason? That she had chosen Geuntae? To get back at her mother?
Lily shook her head. She had to do this properly…
„Your Majesty, I think that you are not in love with my husband. At least not anymore."
Her heart was fluttering, when she thought of those words. What the meaning could be…
Lily was looking up at the gloomy sky and smiled. It had finally started to rain. Of course she was aware, why Lady Yun ho had said this.
Of course,she hated it that another woman even tried to harbor a forbidden thought of her husband. Lily clenched her fists. She understood that feeling all too well.
Then she saw it...the picture appeared involuntarily in front of her eyes…
A small brown-haired woman that approached this huge man, that picture of a hero. He seemed to be so much greater than her, but she was smiling so brightly at him.
This great guy seemed to be even a little embarrased that she was tearing slightly at his clothes, But he had laughed and gently put an arm around this person.
So Lord Geuntae had tried to do so...so that nobody noticed...showing his feeling so openly seemed to be even a challenge for this courageous man…
Lily had suddenly felt tears...ah...no…
Lily felt like tears were sliding down her cheeks...right now...Ah...she remembered…
" Don´t you think that they are such a nice couple?"
Soo Won´s words all over...yes...of course! Of course! It was like this…
„Soo Won…I think that he...he is reminded of his parents,..when he sees you two."
Pressing her hand hard on her mouth, she tried to suppress the laughter inside of her. How stupid had she been! Why hadn´t she realized it sooner! It had not only been Soo Won…
Lily saw the pained face of her mother...and also Yona´s face...
The tears were spilling forth...Lily stepped outside and felt like the rain was mixing itself with her tears, falling down on her…
„What are you doing?", she heard suddenly his voice say. Suddenly the rain had stopped. Or more like there was something that prevented the rain to tumble down on her.
Soo Won was holding an umbrella over her.
When she turned her head, she stared into his face.
„Do you wish to catch a cold? Somehow you are acting really strange," Soo Won said, with a so clearly troubled face, that Lily smiled...still with tears in her eyes...but her face and her whole body was already entirely drippling wet.
The confession
There were still tears coming out of her eyes…
She was so glad, that he was here. So glad. He had really come!
Soo Won looked at her, moved unconsciously towards her...Lily opened her arms and embraced him, sinking her head in his chest.
„Ouch!", Soo Won complained. Lily was laughing and crying at the same time, pressing her face into his chest. It was warm. She could hear his heart beating rapidly. Was he maybe as nervous as she was? Or was she a bother right now?
„I am sorry," she said, trying to sound as normal as she could. She had practically thrown herself onto him. It was so embarrassing. How should she face him? Maybe he has even recognized that she was crying?
„That...is actually...No...what I mean is...the umbrella is hurting my head," he suddenly declared. Surprised Lily lifted her head, looking up, her eyes widening.
Oh…
He was right.
Soo Won was about a head taller than her and when she had rushed to embrace him, the umbrella was stuck between them, bending his head down. She had not noticed….
Lily felt her cheeks getting hot...Oh...no...That was so…
„I am sorry," she repeated again and separated herself from him.
„No...No...that was actually not...and please come here. You will catch a cold, you are entirely wet."
Soo Won stared at her with an ambigious expression, already turning his back on her, slightly leading her under the roof.
„I think it is better, if we get inside, as soon as possible."
„Please, Soo Won," she interrupted him," please I need to tell you something! Is is really important!"
Soo Won stopped, waited, until he finally turned around and looked at her with a ghostly pale face.
Lily was more than a little surprised by this reaction. What had he done?
Still she wanted to tell him...She had enough! Now was the time!
Clenching her fists, she said:"I´ve missed you! Where have you been?"she looked down, her face red to the ears," I just wanted to let you know, since you maybe didn´t know."
How could she know, that this only worsened the situation?
Soo Won closed his eyes, she somehow got the impression as if he wished to hide his face...What the heck had he done? He was so confused that he still held the umbrella in one hand, even though they were already under the roof, in front of the door.
"Yonawashurtbyassassins," he suddenly blurted out," ItwasmyfaultIshouldnot..I..." The way he looked around as if he wished that there was something, where he could hide...
Lily was shocked. However not by the message. In fact...she had…
„I know," she interrupted him. It was painful to watch him. He should not hurt himself anymore.
„I should not have made her my replacement!," he continued, finally looking at her," I know, how much you love her...it must be really cruel to you….to know that she could havv"
Soo Won gulped, tears in his eyes, pressing his lips together," that she could have died under other circumstances."
Ah...she could not bear it any longer!
She spread her arms, taking him in a tight embrace, trying to press his hot face against hers.
„It´s alright," she said,"it´s alright. She didn´t die….and she was only slightly hurt. "
Lily tried to smile, regardless of how awful she felt right now. Of course she had been shocked and scared, when she had heard it from her source...There had been a moment, where she had believed that her heart had stopped beating.
Of course, she had been aware that something awful had happened, when Soo Won had not answered. However she had believed that something had happened in Kai Empire. How shocked had she been, when it had been Yona…But Jae ha had sworn that barely anything had happened. In fact it had been Zeno, that had been the one to receive the most damage, when he had thrown himself in front of her. Lily had been so relieved! So relieved that she had wondered, where Soo Won had vanished to...Somehow it had shook her so greatly. She had wanted to see him so greatly. How stupid of her! But she couldn´t stop to worry...
Soo Won must have blamed himself all the time. She had bee so selfish…
„You really don´t have to blame yourself. Nothing worse has happened," repeated Lily feeling miserable. In fact she had wished to talk with him about it. But now she regretted even the wish!
Lily gazed at his dark blue eyes, that looked pained at her.
„You don´t hate me?"
Blinking away her tears, she replied:"I don´t!"
She didn´t wish to hurt him. Not add one more thing that pained him.
Tenderly she stroke his cheek. She could feel the small hairs on his face and would have nearly cried. She really liked him now.
Her heart felt so painful just thinking how he must feel right now.
„You really don´t hate me..," he repeated one more time, then this person suddenly changed. Suddenly she felt like he closed his arms around her, drawing her tighter, pressing her against his chest.
„You must have felt really awful," he said, while he stroked her head tenderly.
„I regret, that I stood there like a tree without explaining anything to you," he continued.
Lily didn´t know if she wanted to cry or laugh...she felt a strange urge to do both...She felt so relieved, yet suddenly so sad…
And he was so warm…
„I was just very strange…,"she started,"I thought about Yona, then about my mother and then I was worried...about something else," Lily somehow didn´t like to admit that she had worried that he would not come anymore before Jae ha had even arrived….he should not think that she was crazy or overly jealous…Just because her mother had said a few stupid things…
„It seems that Yona´s injury made you worry so greatly," he whispered softly.
Lily bit her lips. That was only half true...She had even worried previously that he would visit other women! Had she been mad? It must have been the case.
Why would she doubt a guy, who hardly spent time looking at other women and why now? This sounded really silly!
„Actually I have been worried, that you wouldn´t come back anymore," actually spiting out the words, that were so hard to form.
This person had opened up to her so many times before. What kind of coward was she, if she was not able to do the same?
His chest really felt so warm. It reassured her a little, even if she felt so silly and stupid right now.
That is why, she had to know, what he thought. She lifted her head and looked into his face.
„You really thought that I wouldn´t come back? Really? But why?"
His face was confused and Lily would have nearly laughed. Oh...heaven! She liked him!
His eyes still slightly swollen, because he had worried so much...about Yona and...her, too.
She really liked him. She lifted her arms, closing them around his neck and trying to bend his head a little down. He was too tall for that…
Blinking, still pretty confused Soo Won lowered his head and Lily pressed their noses together.
„You know...that I...really really like you."
Soo Won stared at her. His eyes became huge. Frozen stiff like a statue.
„Really?," he asked, now he was the one who was threatened to lose his voice.
Pressing his eyes tightly together and lowering his head even further, she understood too late, that he tried very hard not to cry….
A surge of tenderness flooded her chest and she just really wished to be near him, to hold him, to protect him….from every harm that could be…
„Yes, I do...I really honestly do…," she repeated, having to suppress herself the urge to cry. Why is it, that if you are unbelievable happy sometimes, you wish to cry?
Their eyes met again, Lily laughed and could see that his lips curved upwards. His eyes were as red as hers, when he lowered his head.
Their color was a light blue with a tinge of green in it. Lily remembered that it had been like that, when they had met previously after she had run away from her previous lover. It seemed now like a life time away. Had it really just been a couple of weeks? Now, however Soo Won´s eyes seemed to glow and Lily wondered, if she looked the same.
Slowly Soo Won kissed her lips softly. Lily shuddered. Right now she was as sensitive as she could be...the lightest touch made her skin prickle with joy.
There was a strange conflictive feeling in her...as she wished to hold him softly, as if he was made of pure glass, yet she had a strong desire to press him as tightly against her as possible.
Lily sensed that Soo Won may felt similarily, since his lips only lightly touched her forehead, and her nose. Lily giggled like a small child, closing her eyes, when she felt a light kiss on her eyes, then however, he closed his arms around her, holding her tightly.
„I love you," he whispered in her hair...