Fighting Destiny 56
Chapter 40 Endings
"
Author's Note: When I came up with the idea for this story, I had a different ending, but I left myself some wriggle room. I wanted this great literary ending. As I thought more about it, it hit me—this isn't literature. It's fan fiction, duh. I also remembered how much I hated the series' ending. I thought with a whole room full of writers, they should have pulled off some clever twist like in S3 with Stahl and how that ended. That's why I changed my mind. I wanted to please readers rather than feed my literary pretensions. I also don't want to spread unnecessary misery. There's enough already out there. That said, not everyone is getting a happy ending.
As this chapter grew in length, I debated breaking it into smaller chapters, but decided to put in headings to break it up instead so readers can pause or keep reading. I also wanted to keep my word about this being the last chapter.
So, settle in for a nice long read. Please let me know if you like it or hate it.
"
Jax was afraid to stop his CPR efforts to call 911. It would take him a minute or two to go into the house and get his phone out of his cut. He didn't know if she had that much time before her brain died. He didn't see the irony that Baby Nate had died from lack of air and now Tara might meet the same fate.
He kept working, trying to breathe for her and get her heart started unwilling to stop even for a moment. He had to save the love of his life.
After what felt like an eternity, she coughed. He rolled her to her side to help the water leave her lungs and slapped her on the back. She coughed several times and gasped for air.
Jax felt an enormous wave of relief wash over him. Thank God, she was alive.
"I'm going to call 911," Jax said.
Tara shook her head.
"No," she croaked. "I'll be OK."
"I'll get my knife and cut the ropes off," Jax said. When he'd freed her from the blocks, he'd just cut her free from the blocks. The ropes were still tied around each ankle.
Jax dove into the pool again to get his knife. He hauled each of the concrete boxes to the surface and put them by the side of the pool. He couldn't imagine who could possibly have done something so horrible to Tara.
When she told him who did this to her, he would kill that person only he would be smart about it. He'd make it look like an accident. He didn't want to get locked away in prison when he had this beautiful new life so near.
She was shivering in the cold winter air. He quickly went over and cut the ropes from around her ankles. She just stared at him.
"Come on," he said gently, "let's go inside and get you into some warm clothes. Me too." He helped her to her feet and led her into the house. "Then you can tell me who tried to kill you."
Jax knew that Tara was deeply traumatized by what happened to her. She just seemed empty. It scared him—not as much when he saw her at the bottom of the pool, but there was just something about her that he found scary as hell.
"Do you want a hot shower or just dry clothes?" Jax asked. That was when he wondered how much of Tara's attitude stemmed from the pictures that Ima sent to her. He needed to clear that up, but his first priority was to get her warm and dry.
"Shower," Tara said softly. She wanted to wash the pool and all the memories of being so close to death away.
"Would you be OK if I shared?" Jax suggested gently. "To help you. Not for anything else," he added hastily.
"I want to be alone," she said heading into the bedroom.
Stupid, Jax berated himself. He should know that she would think the worst. He needed to tell her about how Ima and Colette set him up. That would go a long way towards fixing things between them.
He went and grabbed his phone out of his cut and left it on the bed. He could hear the shower through the bathroom door. Normally, Tara left the door open when they were alone. He would usually join her.
He really thought that once Tara returned to life, everything would magically be great between them. It was just going to take a little time. Nothing happened as fast as it did on TV.
Tara emerged from the shower her hair and body both wrapped in towels.
"I'll grab a quick shower," Jax said. "Give you some privacy. Then we need to talk about who almost killed you and those pictures."
Tara nodded slowly. Jax walked into the bathroom and began stripping off his clothes. He didn't bother with closing the door. He heard her moving around getting dressed. He finished his shower and washed his hair quickly. It felt a little like they were making a fresh start or they could make a fresh start once he dealt with the person who came so close to killing Tara.
Jax pulled on a pair of jeans and a plain white T-shirt. She stared at the bed while he dressed avoiding looking at his naked body.
Tara couldn't bear looking at him. He'd saved her and she was glad that she hadn't died, but she wished she could just get in her van and leave. She should have known that Jax would never stay faithful. He couldn't stand it that she needed more than thirty seconds to get over Baby Nate's death and wasn't ready to have sex with him. Of course he would turn to someone else. She wondered how many times it had happened.
Jax sat down facing her. She was sitting with pillows behind her on the bed.
"Who tried to kill you?" Jax asked gently.
"Me," Tara whispered. It was the most humiliating confession of her life. She didn't want him to know how screwed up and weak she was, but she knew that he would keep questioning her until he had an answer.
"You did this," Jax said slowly. It was still hard for Jax to grasp that strong Tara who was always a rock had tried to take her own life.
He knew that he had to take some responsibility for Tara's actions. He thought she needed private time to work through Baby Nate's death when she pulled away from him. Now, he could see that he should have made her talk to him and not let her brood on her own. He'd given her space when he really should have been by her side.
Those potential charges for giving the crucifix to Otto had been bullshit and he hadn't taken them seriously. Tara had been haunted by them. He should have listened to her more.
And of course there was the disaster with Ima and Colette. At least he could fix that immediately.
"I'm going to go. Leave in the van. Maybe I'll go to San Diego." Tara's voice was flat and unemotional.
"No, you will damned well not run away," Jax said raising his voice in anger. "We are going to work everything out together, which is what we should have been doing all along starting with those bullshit pictures.
"Ima and Colette set me up at Gemma's direction. She promised them they could direct some movies if they got pictures of me having sex or looking like I was having sex with one of them and sent them to you. She wanted to break us up because she thought that would get me to stay in Charming."
"I saw the pictures," Tara said, her voice expressionless.
"I know it looks bad, but nothing happened. I forced the truth out of them," Jax said, picking up his phone and playing the video he'd made of Ima and Colette confessing
For the most part, the videos just showed the ceiling of Ima's dressing room. Occasionally there would be a few inches of Ima's face or Coletter's face as each leaned into the phone's camera as she spoke. The video wasn't the purpose; it was the audio that Jax wanted her to hear. Jax shut the video off after Colette finished her confession.
"I hoped to get to you before you got those pictures, but I got your text and the pictures and knew I was too late. Tara, I knew there was something wrong. I rode like a maniac to get to you including going around railroad crossing guards because I knew I had to get to you."
"I didn't want to die," Tara whispered. "I realized it as I waited for death. I was scared that by killing myself, I'd never get to see Baby Nate again. I was just about to give up and fill my lungs with water when you came. Everything went black and then I woke up."
Jax wrapped his arms around her and held her close to his heart. He'd come so close to losing her. He'd been through some scary times with the MC, but nothing was as terrifying as seeing her at the bottom of the pool.
"You have to know that I will never cheat on you. I know that if I did, you would leave me and I would lose everything. Yeah, I'm not gonna lie. When Colette was kneeling in front of me, I was tempted for a couple of seconds, but I'm always gonna to be tempted. It's biology, but I'm more than that. I have a brain and self control. I know if I cheat it will destroy us. Nothing is worth destroying us."
Tara looked into Jax's eyes and for the first time since Baby Nate died, she felt his words in her heart. He was being completely honest with her from admitting that he was tempted to telling her that he would never cheat to telling her that he wouldn't do it because it would destroy them.
She put her arms around him and rested her face against his T-shirt. When she got those pictures from the mysterious phone, she felt her fragile world completely explode. She was losing every single thing she loved from her freedom to her son to the man she'd loved more than half her life.
It had seemed so simple. Life hurt too much to continue to live. She just couldn't take the pain anymore. And it was never going to get better. She had nothing to look forward to except getting arrested, convicted and imprisoned. And divorced.
She never thought she would ever get to the point where she would take her life, but then she never could have predicted just how bad her life would go wrong. Each second just hurt so much and she wanted to quit hurting.
She'd picked tying the blocks around her feet and getting into the pool because she thought it would be a peaceful way to die. She was afraid if she shot herself, her hand might jerk up and she'd end up brain damaged and not dead. She thought about cutting her wrists but that doesn't always work.
What she hadn't counted on was her body not wanting to die and her having second thoughts when it was too late to do anything about it. It occurred to her that if she believed religious teachings, suicide sent you to hell and she was sure that Baby Nate wasn't in hell. She knew that she'd been saved because God helped her. If Jax had been even a minute later, she would have drowned and no amount of CPR could have saved her.
"You won't tell anyone?" Tara asked looking up at Jax.
"No, but I'm not leaving you alone for a minute until I feel that I don't have to worry about you doing this again. I can't lose you, Tara."
Tara was relieved that Jax would keep her secret. She couldn't bear it if anyone knew what she'd tried to do. She didn't need the added humiliation.
"I won't do it again," Tara said.
Jax wanted to believe her, but he had no idea that she was so desperate and hurt so bad inside that she saw no way out but to end her life. He couldn't take the risk that she would try to hurt herself again. He needed to feel connected to her. He needed to know how she was feeling inside before he could trust her not to hurt herself again.
"What was going on inside you?" Jax asked. "It had to be more than me."
Tara looked down at her jeans wishing she didn't have to remember that horrible meeting with the detectives.
"The meeting with the detectives didn't go well. They said that a witness saw me give the crucifix to Otto."
Jax thought that over for several moments.
"It wasn't Gemma. The Ima/Colette thing is Gemma's style. She can't go to the cops because that would make her a rat and Clay can't have a rat for an old lady. It would have to be someone at the prison."
"The window is so small," Tara said.
"The timing would have had to have been perfect. Think back. Was your back turned to the window when you gave him the cross?"
Tara shut her eyes to help picture the scene. Her back was to the window and she hadn't turned around with the cross in her hand.
"I think so."
"You know cops can lie to you legally. The Supreme Court held that law enforcement can use ruses to get information," Jax said. Sometimes being an outlaw biker came in handy. He knew a bit about criminal law and the tactics cops used to gain confessions.
"I know that, but when they were talking about the witness; I believed them. Now, I'm not so sure. Maybe they were lying."
"You didn't admit to anything?"
Tara shook her head. "Of course not. I think Lowen suspects the truth, but that doesn't matter. You really think that witness doesn't exist?"
"Yeah, I do. Worst case, if there is a witness, we'll discredit the witness. If this person saw you give contraband to Otto, why didn't they stop it? This is just part of the State trying to get out from under their poor security. If you get indicted or bound over for trial, we'll get you a much better criminal attorney. I'll sell my house and we'll use that money to get you free of any charges."
"Really?"
"Yes. What the hell good is having a house in Charming if you're locked up? As soon as the lease runs out, we should sell the house anyway because after what Gemma pulled today, I'm done with her. She's dead to me and Abel no longer has grandparents."
Tara knew she should have been overjoyed to have Jax cut ties for good with his cancerous mother, but Abel loved his grandparents. She was sad for him and she was sad for Jax to lose his mother due to her hateful behavior, but she couldn't say what Jax wanted to do was wrong. Part of the reason she wanted out of Charming was to get away from Jax's toxic mother.
"I do feel sad for Abel and I'm sad for you to have to discover such a harsh truth about your mother. She scares me. I think she would do just about anything to keep control over you and Abel."
"Another reason for me to keep you close to me at least until we leave. I'd hoped that she and Clay could visit us in Louisiana and we could come here and visit, but that's done. I'm not going to tell them that until we've made our exit from the MC and we tell the guys about out new charter in Bon Temps."
"I got a call from an attorney for Wendy. He said she's going to try to take Abel from us because I'm an unfit mother and I'm going to prison over the Otto thing. He's going to stop us from leaving town."
Jax stared at Tara. It was no wonder that Tara thought the only solution to her life was to end it. Every damned thing was going wrong for her. His face flushed with anger and his jaw tensed when he thought of what he was going to do to Wendy when he got his hands on her.
"I will dea . . .," the landline phone rang interpreting Jax.
He picked up the extension in the bedroom.
"I'm sorry," Wendy said before even hearing the voice on the other end.
"Tara told me about your lawyer's call," Jax said. "I will never let you take Abel from us."
"It wasn't an attorney. It was a guy I met who knows legal stuff from being in prison. I'm sorry. I was just so angry that you were taking Abel without telling me and . . ." Wendy paused and took a big gulp of air "I still love you. I thought we could be a family."
"That's never going to happen," Jax said harshly.
"I know. Wanted to say sorry," Wendy's voice was slurred. "I'm not going to do anything. You and Tara have a happy little family with Abel. Maybe when he's older, you'll let me meet him just so he'll understand everything. Jax, please tell Tara how sorry I am. I'm so sorry. I hate me for doing that. Hate me. Hate me . . ." her voice trailed off.
Jax shook his head. He found it hard to stay angry with Wendy when she was so obviously a mess. What she did was wrong, but she was so fragile. He couldn't ream her out when she was already broken.
"Where are you Wendy?" he asked.
She mumbled the address and hung up. Jax quickly called 911 and told them there was a probable overdose and gave them Wendy's address. The operator was dispatching an ambulance to the address when Jax ended the call.
What she did to Tara was wrong, but she was genuinely sorry for what she'd done and she'd at least had the decency to call and try to make things right. He didn't want to take the chance that Wendy was having a fatal relapse. Maybe one day, years from now, he and Tara would allow Abel to meet her.
Jax quickly explained the phone call with Wendy.
"You did the right thing getting her help," Tara said softly. "I hate what she did to me, but it sounds like she's genuinely sorry."
"Yeah, I don't want her to die. I just want her out of our lives. I think her lies sent her into the relapse."
"I thought I was losing everything—my freedom, you and Abel," Tara said in a whisper.
"I know you've been struggling with Baby Nate's death," Jax said carefully. He hated to open up the subject of their son's death. It just hurt so damned much; they hadn't really talked about it for that very reason.
Tara covered her face with her hands. The pain was still fresh for her. She still thought she could hear him coo or she found herself getting up at night and going into his room before she realized there was no baby to check on.
"It just hurts so much. I keep thinking if I'd been here, he would still be alive."
"You don't know that. You were going to put him down for his nap. He would have still quit breathing. It was just one of those horrible tragedies. I miss him. Sometimes, I go into his room and just sit on the floor and cry," Jax confessed.
Tara looked at him surprised.
"I thought you were just handling it and weren't feeling the same grief I was feeling."
Jax shook his head. "No. I've tried to cope by only thinking about Baby Nate when Abel mentions him and when we do that night time thing with Abel when we share a memory of him. I thought by walling off my memories it would help. It hasn't."
"Baby Nate's always on my mind even when I was talking to the detectives or when I'm packing. He's all I ever think about."
"Tara, I really haven't been trying to pressure you into having sex with me. I just don't feel close to you and I wanted that closeness. I've really just wanted to hold you. Get some comfort from the woman I love. I know you doing what you did was partly on me."
"I don't feel connected to you anymore," Tara confessed unable to meet his eyes. "Part of that was you didn't blame Gemma as much as I did for Baby Nate's death and part of it was you just didn't seem to be grieving as much as I was." She paused and bit her lip unsure if she should continue.
"Go on, tell me," Jax encouraged her.
"You have Abel and since you have him, I feel like you don't care as much about Baby Nate being gone. I made him inside my body. He depended on me for his life while he was growing inside me. I have a different connection to him that goes beyond . . ."
"Anything that I could possibly feel," Jax filled in the missing words.
"Yeah."
"I can't know what it's like to make a baby inside of me. Honestly, I'm glad about that," Jax said and Tara smiled slightly. "I do hurt for him. I just thought it was better to take my cue from you and since you don't mention him and you aren't crying, I thought you were working through your feelings. We should have been reaching for each other instead of each grieving separately," Jax said.
"
Can They Find Their Way Back to Each Other?
"
It seemed so clear to him now that the way they had avoided talking about Baby Nate and how they felt about losing him had caused this rift between them. They should have been dealing with his death together instead of separately. He thought since Tara didn't mention Baby Nate that she was healing from the loss. He had no idea that she felt as ripped apart and raw as he did.
"What if we never feel that connection again?" Tara asked.
"Do you love me?"
Tara hesitated.
"The truth. We need to be completely honest with each other," Jax said.
"I don't know how I feel about anything. I love Abel. I don't know what I'd do without him. That's why it crushed me when I thought I was going to lose him too."
"How do you feel about me?"
"I just don't know. I don't hate you. With all my grief over Baby Nate, the need to keep going for Abel's sake, this move, the mess with the cross, I just don't have any more emotion left in me. I'm sorry," Tara said, her eyes fillng with tears. She felt horrible that she couldn't tell the man she'd loved for more than half her life that she loved him, but she didn't know how she felt.
"When you thought I'd cheated, you had some emotion."
"I hated you in that moment. I guess I expected that one day I'd find my feelings for you again and when I thought you cheated on me, I found my feelings again only they weren't love."
"Tara, I may not feel that strong connection we used to have, but I still feel some connection. That's why I knew I had to get to you. I didn't know why, but I just knew I had to get to you. I looked for you in the house and when I went outside and saw you in the pool, my heart stopped. It was the worst moment of my life."
"Even though I hated you, I hoped that you would save me."
"Tara I love you. I don't expect you to say it to me. I know you have a lot to work through, but this time, we work through Baby Nate's death together. We need to start talking to each other like we used to. We can't connect if we don't talk. And no matter how close we are, I can't read your mind. You need to tell me what you need from me and I'll do the same."
She nodded.
"Can you forgive me for what I tried to do?"
"There's nothing to forgive."
"Thanks. Guess we better get back to packing."
"Here's what we're going to do, we're going to finish the kitchen and then we'll get cleaned up and changed and go to that bistro that you like so much for a nice relaxing dinner. And no more packing for the rest of the day. We need some time to relax. I'll call in a couple of favors if we need more help packing. I'll help you tomorrow. I'll call Clay and let him know I won't be in."
"You hate the bistro."
"It's your favorite place and I can get a hamburger or a steak with those fancy French fries."
"Pommes frites," Tara supplied the words.
"Yeah. We need a nice relaxing meal and we need to get the hell out of this house."
"OK," Tara agreed. She felt emotionally drained.
She knew she should have felt encouraged by this conversation with Jax. He seemed ready to make an effort and it did make her feel a little better knowing that he still mourned the death of their son, but only time would tell if his words were backed up by action.
Jax even suggesting they go to the bistro place she loved was a big deal. He always said the place was pretentious because it was the fanciest place in Charming. They'd only eaten there twice. The last time had been when they were celebrating the news she was pregnant.
She and Jax worked quietly and quickly got the kitchen finished. With his help tomorrow, they should be able to easily finish the packing. All that would remain was loading the truck on Friday, helping Opie with loading on Saturday and finally leaving. The thought of leaving made her feel a little sick to her stomach because she feared something was going to go wrong and wreck their escape plans.
Maybe she'd get arrested. Maybe that was what was going to go wrong. She shoved the thought out of her head. Jax said if she got tried that he would sell his house and they would use the money for a really good attorney. Allie was fine for little things, but if it got bad, she would need a first rate lawyer. First rate attorneys didn't practice in Charming.
By the time they had finished packing, Tara was ready to just get pizza and watch TV. She didn't want to go out in public. It was strange, she knew, but she felt tainted by what she'd tried to do. She wanted to hide in the house.
"Jax, why don't we just stay in and get pizza delivered?"
"No. We're getting the hell out of here," Jax said.
For all his outlaw biker ways, Jax wasn't the my word is law old school biker. He rarely acted like a dictator even when they talked about leaving Charming. They made the decision for their family together.
"I think we should . . ."
"Get ready," Jax interrupted. "You are going out with me."
"Fine," Tara said coldly. She didn't like being ordered around.
Despite Tara's fragile state of mind, Jax wasn't about to let her stay in that house. He felt in his bones that he needed to get them out of the house. The easy thing to do was stay home and get pizza, but he needed to get her out into the world.
"I'll get ready first," Jax said.
Tara said nothing instead she went and sat down in the living room, crossing off the things that had been done and looking at all the tasks they still had to complete before leaving.
Jax appeared dressed in black pants and a long sleeved white T-shirt. For Jax that was dressed up.
"We're going to take the bike, so you're going to want to wear pants."
Tara wasn't sure what to make of this change in Jax. Normally, they always took the van. She hadn't been on the back of his bike in at least a year because they usually had Abel with them.
Tara walked to the bedroom and put her own pair of black pants on with a pink, white and black top and returned to the living room.
"You look nice," Jax said.
"Thanks."
Jax carried their helmets out to the bike while Tara locked the front door.
Jax put the helmet on Tara's head and carefully tightened the strap.
"I've kind of missed riding on the bike," she admitted.
"We've forgotten to take time for us," Jax said before putting on his helmet.
After they walked into the bistro and were seated at their table, Tara felt her mood lift a little.
"Thanks for dragging me out of the house. I didn't expect it to feel good to be out of the house, but it really does," Tara said.
Jax was glad that he'd listened to his instincts. He was hoping that with a change of scenery, they might start work on reconnecting. He wasn't naïve. He realized that it would take time, but they needed to start somewhere.
Jax steered the conversation not to the immediate present but on the future when they got to Bon Temps. Tara found herself thinking about the future and starting a new practice seeing families instead of sick babies. She was excited about this change.
She'd gone through a lot of training to be a surgeon, but that didn't matter because she'd discovered she didn't love being a surgeon anymore. Jax had been amazing when she told him that she wanted to change her medical practice.
It meant that she would be bringing in less money for their household, but Jax was never comfortable that she made so much more money than he did. He still had the old fashioned idea that the man should be the primary provider for their family.
Jax talked about how he was looking forward to have his own restaurant/bar. He wanted to expand the menu beyond diner food to include themed specials for each day of the week like Italian Day serving lasagna, spaghetti and meatballs and Abel's favorite cheesy baked pasta.
Talking about the future changed Tara's perspective. Life seemed better when she could focus on how great their lives were going to be. She'd firmly put all thoughts of getting arrested out of her mind. If that happened and she got tried for giving the cross to Otto, she and Jax had a plan for that. A good attorney would cost a fortune, but would get her off.
They finished their meal with crème brulee. It was Tara's favorite dessert. She loved breaking that torched sugar with her spoon and scooping up that smooth rich custard.
Jax surprised her when he stopped off at a liquor store on their way home. She waited on the bike while he ran in. He brought back a tall bottle in a brown paper bag. She put the bottle between their bodies on the bike.
Suddenly she remembered how she and Jax used to do that when they were teens. Jax had a friend who used to work at that liquor store. He'd sell him liquor if no one was around.
Jax stopped at the playground.
"Come on," Jax said taking the bottle from her.
Charming had a strict no camping ordinance for its parks that was diligently enforced by the police department, so the park was empty. Jax led Tara over to the swings and sat down.
He opened the bottle, replaced the bottle in the bag and handed it to Tara. Tara took a swig from the bottle and handed it back to Jax before sitting down on the swing next to him.
"Remember?" he asked.
"Yeah," Tara said softly with a smile.
They used to come to the park, pass a bottle of alcohol usually tequila between them and just talk. Those had been magical nights.
Jax was reminding her of the past they shared and the bond they had back in their high school days. It was easy to say I love you, but what took effort was to do thoughtful loving things. Jax bringing her back here told her he loved her in a more heartfelt way than words could ever express.
Jax reminisced about their high school days. Tara found herself looking back fondly on those days. It felt good to be talking about their past now that they were so close to leaving the town where they had first fallen in love.
Tara always felt like she was the caretaker of their relationship. She thought of that as the woman's job and she hadn't minded. Now that she was broken, there wasn't enough left inside her to even take care of herself.
For Jax to suddenly take control and make an effort to reconnect with her met a lot to her. It made her remember why she'd fallen in love with him in the first place.
They passed the bottle back and forth just like they used to do when they were young and carefree. Tara found herself slowly relaxing.
"Tomorrow, I need to pick up Abel from Donna's a little early. We're going by the bakery to pick up the mini-cupcakes I ordered for his last day of preschool party. I've already got the punch and everything else."
"I'll go with you," Jax said.
"I'll be OK."
"No," Jax said firmly. "I'm going with you. I'm coming to Abel's party too."
She reached out and squeezed his hand. It was the first time she'd reached out for him in weeks.
They finished the wine and sat on the swings until Tara began swinging pumping her feet to get higher and higher. Adult or not, she still enjoyed the simple pleasure of swinging. Jax hesitated before joining in.
When they returned home, Tara was in a better place emotionally. It was a huge change from the destroyed and broken woman who wanted to die because she had nothing to live for. A lot of that she owed to Jax, not just for saving her life, but for stepping up.
Jax gave her privacy when she was getting ready for bed. He wanted to give her whatever space she needed. He was confident that by respecting her need for some time, that she would come back to him.
Tara was in bed when he walked into the bedroom.
"I'm not going to try to get close to you physically," Jax said, "not because I don't want to. I always want to be close to you, but I'm giving you space. No pressure. I'll keep my distance until you say otherwise."
Tara's body relaxed. Jax's attention had helped a lot, but she still felt a physical distance from him.
The next morning, she and Jax picked up Abel and drove to the bakery.
"Pick out some treats you think Kenny, Ellie, Uncle Opie and Aunt Donna will like because guess where you get to spend tonight?" Jax said to Abel.
"With Kenny and Ellie?" Abel guessed quickly.
"Uh-huh," Jax said.
"I didn't know about this," Tara said.
"I asked Donna when you were getting Abel," Jax said. "She said Abel's no trouble and Kenny and Ellie like having him around. I thought we could go to the Mexican place that I like so much tonight. Get some ideas for the restaurant's menu."
"That's so kind of Donna," Tara said. "I don't know what I would do without her."
Abel was so excited about picking out the baked goods. They got a few more treats so there would be plenty of dessert.
They climbed back into the van with a couple of boxes of baked goods.
"Now, you have to keep a big secret. Daddy and I are coming by a little after naptime with the cupcakes and punch. The other kids don't know we're having a little party. They only know it's your last day."
"Daddy's coming?" Abel asked surprised.
"Yes," Jax said. "I want to come to your party."
Abel smiled. He was excited about the party and he was happy that Daddy was going to come too.
Jax and Tara walked him into preschool and signed him in for the final time.
Tara drew her finger across her lips like she was zipping them.
"Secret," she said.
Abel zipped his lips. When Jax zipped his lips both Tara and Abel laughed. They each kissed him good-bye before returning to the van.
"You are such a good mother," Jax said. "I'm learning from you how to be a better father."
"I had a good mother," Tara said. "When I do things for Abel I remember her. It's kind of how I keep her alive."
"JT wasn't much of a father. If he lived, he was going to make the changes in his life that I'm making in mine."
"I am proud of you for making all these changes," Tara said. "I know it hasn't been easy for you to leave the guys."
"It's easier knowing the path this club is on is wrong. I don't think Opie and I have the votes to change that. Even if we did, Clay's got all these deals in place that we're locked into."
"You really don't think they'll be a problem letting Opie and Piney out?"
Jax shook his head.
"No, they'll respect their reasons for leaving and when we tell them by letting them leave, it will allow us to form a new SOA chapter, that should smooth over any hurt feelings."
"If not, I guess you'll be getting your ink covered tomorrow," Tara said.
"It's going to be OK," Jax said before starting the van and driving back home.
The thought of getting his reaper covered broke his heart. He would miss the guys, but his reaper had been part of him since he'd patched the MC. The day after he and Opie got their patches, they had gone and begun the tattoo process of getting their reaper. It was youthful enthusiasm that made them get full back pieces.
If Opie and Piney weren't allowed out cleanly, they wouldn't be able to set up the new chapter and Happy would have to cover his ink tomorrow night. The pain of losing something that had been part of him for so long would hurt more than the tattoo needles used to black it out.
In the middle of packing, Tara got a phone call from Lowen.
"Tara, you need to take this call privately," Lowen said.
Tara's heart quickened in dread automatically expecting the worst.
Tara went into the bathroom and shut the door.
"OK, I'm alone."
"I got a call from the detectives. The ADA is willing to let you plead to a lesser crime, a little jail time, community service and some probation, but you wouldn't lose your medical license. They will also recommend that the jail time be suspended based on your lack of a record."
"And what do they want from me?"
"Information on the Sons specifically the arms sales."
"The MC is just a club. That's all I know."
There was a long pause on Lowen's side of the phone call.
"OK. They want some information from you that will help them put at least some of the Sons in jail. I don't know until I ask, but that might include Jax."
"No deal," Tara said firmly. "I don't know anything and I didn't give the cross to Otto. Tell them to go fuck themselves and use those words."
"I had to tell you about the offer," Lowen explained. "I think if they had anything real, they wouldn't have made the offer."
Tara hesitated. She'd planned on calling Lowen on Friday, but she might as well break the news to her now.
"Jax and I are moving. He's renting out his house and we're going to Louisiana. It's been planned for months. We bought a restaurant/bar in this little town called Bon Temps."
"When are you leaving?"
"Saturday."
"It doesn't look very good, but screw them. As long as you can prove you had this move planned, it won't look like you're running away. You could have told me sooner."
"I know. I'm sorry. This experience has brought out the worst in me."
"And that's why I make the big bucks," Lowen said wryly. "I'll call them and give them your answer. I'll wait until Monday to hit them with the moving part of it. Better to have you guys out of town before I tell them that. I'll let you know if I hear something. Your move doesn't change that."
"Thanks, Allie."
Tara found Jax in the living room boxing up the last of their stuff. The only things not packed were the beds in their room and Abel's. Tonight was their last night in the house. Tomorrow, they were loading the truck.
She relayed her conversation with Lowen to Jax including her response to the offer.
"There is no witness," Jax said. "If they had anything on you, they would get you indicted or take it to a preliminary hearing, then squeeze you to get you to make a deal before trial. This is just a last gasp to get the MC now that RICO has been crushed."
"Do you really believe that?"
"Yes, I do," Jax said as he taped up the box.
Tara went over to Jax.
"Hold me," she said simply.
He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. For the first time since the mess with Otto went so wrong, Tara felt some of the tension leave her body. Things were so much better today than yesterday.
"I told her about the move," Tara said looking up at Jax.
"How did that go over?"
"She wasn't thrilled, but I explained it was a long planned move. She'll tell them Monday. After we've left town," she said, her lips turning up in a smile in spite of herself.
"Good idea telling them Mon . . ." Jax said.
Tara's phone alarm had gone off.
"Time to get ready and go to the preschool. At least we don't need to bother to change our clothes," she said.
"I completely lost track of time," Jax confessed. "We missed lunch."
"We can drive by and get a snack after," Tara said. "If we're going out to dinner later, we'll get enough food so Abel can have that for dinner too."
"Chicken," Jax said.
"It's handy and tastes good cold."
Abel was excited to see Jax carrying in the punch and Tara carrying in the cupcakes, cups and napkins. He was full of little kid self-importance.
The preschool teachers and Tara helped pass out the treats to the kids while Abel showed Jax around. He hadn't spent much time at preschool and Abel was eager to give Jax a complete tour.
Jax saw just how much it meant to Abel to have him there on his last day at preschool. He looked at him with such pride in his eyes. Jax wanted his son to always look at him that way. That was why he was making all the changes in his life. He didn't want Abel visiting him in prison and that was where things were heading with the MC.
The only reason he was even at the preschool was because he'd meant it when he said he wasn't leaving Tara alone. He was glad he got to share this time with Abel. He was looking forward to spending more time with his family.
Tara surprised him by knowing all the little kids in Abel's class. She seemed right at home with the teachers too. She seemed to be in a better place than when he'd pulled her from the pool yesterday.
After the party, Tara helped clean up the classroom and the cupcake and frosting smeared kids. Jax pitched in too wiping faces and helping the kids wash their hands.
When they left, Abel didn't really understand what it meant to move and leave a place forever. That was just something he learn over time, but Jax knew that they would find a preschool class in Bon Temps where Abel would make new friends.
After they fed Abel cold chicken strips, cole slaw and macaroni salad, Jax and Tara dropped him off with Donna and Opie along with the bakery box filled with treats. Jax carried his backpack because he wanted to carry the bakery box. He carried it so carefully proud that Jax had trusted him when he promised not to drop it.
Tara and Jax returned home because Jax wanted to take his bike. Tara remembered the first time she'd wrapped her arms around Jax when she'd climbed on the back of his bike. She'd been so excited to be on the bike of the notorious bad boy Jax Teller. He'd even put his helmet on her.
Over dinner, they talked about what Mexican food they might include on a Mexican themed menu. They decided they definitely needed nachos and they could serve tortillas chips and salsa on Mexican food day.
It was nice talking about the restaurant and planning their future. Tara's mind was calmer after the call from Lowen and Jax's take on what was going on with the crucifix mess.
After dinner, they took a bike ride getting out of the city where they could pick up some speed. Tara missed just getting out on the open road with Jax. There was something so freeing about being on the bike. She understood why he loved riding his bike so much.
He didn't take them straight back home. Once again, he stopped at the park leading her to the swings. It was the last night, they would have. Tomorrow was Jax's last meeting with SAMCRO.
As they talked, Tara remembered all the things she loved about Jax. What she feared was that once they got over this, he would quit making an effort. She needed him to keep making an effort. Maybe it was time to speak up and see if Jax was serious about telling him how she was feeling and what she needed from him.
"You've made me feel really cared for. I've missed it," Tara said.
"I was just too deep in grieving Baby Nate to help take care of us. I've missed just being with you."
Tara watched the ground for a few moments.
"I'm afraid that you'll quit making an effort. I can't be the only one taking care of our relationship."
"And I can't read your mind and just know what to do to make you happy."
"That's why I'm telling you, I need you to make an effort." Tara dragged the toe of her black boots in the dirt. "It's been really nice yesterday and today. I can feel that you're really trying. Yesterday with dinner, the liquor store and coming here made me remember falling in love with you. Today, seeing you in father mode has made me happy. Just coming to dinner, going for a ride and then coming back here has been great."
"I wanted you to remember."
"I realized that I never stopped loving you," Tara said. "I've just been so buried in worry and grief, I couldn't feel it. I will be so thankful when we leave here."
"The move would be a lot harder if Opie and Piney weren't going with us," Jax said.
"Donna is relieved. She lives each day terrified that the cops are going to come and lock up Opie."
"I know it's been a source of friction between her and Op. She was right though. Staying in SAMCRO is going to lead to death or prison. It's inevitable. JT saw it. Piney sees it. That's why he's coming with us. He wants Opie on a better path."
When they got home, Tara turned to Jax when they were in the bedroom.
"How about you hold me and kiss me a little," Tara suggested.
"You're the shot caller," Jax said obeying.
That night, they finally reconnected emotionally and physically.
The next day, they got their furniture and boxes loaded on the truck. Tomorrow, they would load another larger truck with Opie and Piney's stuff. Both Opie and Piney's houses were sold. Escrow was closing today.
After some discussion, they all decided that Donna and Tara would stay at Donna's and wait until they heard from the guys about the outcome of the meeting. If things went well, they would bring the kids to the clubhouse, order pizza and have a little good-bye party.
Opie had called Donna from the chapel because he wanted everyone waiting for them when they opened the doors. Donna didn't understand, but she and Tara left each driving their van.
When the doors opened with a dramatic flourish, Jax emerged in his cut with his SAMCRO patches and his V.P. patches cut off. In its place was SAMBEL and his new "president" flash. Tara understood how big that moment was for Jax and she was glad she was there to see it. It was part of their personal history.
Opie was V.P and Piney was the SA. Normally the sergeant at arms patch went to the toughest guy in the chapter, but it went to Piney by default. He would hold that position until they had recruited some new members.
The meeting with SAMCRO had gone as smoothly as Jax, Piney and Opie expected. The guys hated to see Piney and Opie leave, but they were glad to hear about the new chapter. Even the cool, hard to read Happy was pleased that he didn't have to cover Jax's ink. That was a job he wasn't looking forward to and would take no pleasure in performing.
Clay was about to call Gemma and invite her down when Jax pulled him aside and told him what she'd tried to do to him through Ima and Colette. He acted surprised, but he wasn't.
He suspected that Gemma would pull something in an effort to stop Jax from leaving. Jax didn't want Gemma at the celebration, so he agreed not to call her. There was no point in creating a big dramatic scene. He was sure there would be one tomorrow when Jax actually left.
After a lot of pizza, beer and hugging, Jax, Opie, Tara, Donna and the kids returned to Opie's for the night. In the morning, Jax was going to help load up Opie and Piney's houses and they would head out.
The next morning, Gemma discovered that Jax wasn't at his house, but there was a truck parked out front. She tracked him down at Opie's.
He and Tara took her aside.
"I know what you tried to do with Ima and Colette," Jax said. "Don't bother denying it. The porn whores ratted you. What you are going to do is say good-bye to Abel. Enjoy it because it's the last time you are going to see him."
Gemma stared at Jax completely taken by surprise.
"How can you leave your birth right. The club is your destiny."
"I have a new destiny. And a new club," he said turning around showing her his new rocker. "I'm starting a new charter and I'm going to run it the way JT intended."
"You must be pleased about this," Gemma said to Tara.
"You now have one minute to say good-bye to Abel," Jax said. "Say anything else to Tara and you won't even have that."
Gemma said her quick good-bye to Abel while Jax and Tara stood over her. The reality of losing her grandson and her son hadn't hit her. The only way she could deal with it was by telling herself that Jax would get over his anger and change his mind. She was his mother. He would need her.
After the trucks were loaded and the bikes loaded into a trailer that Piney was going to pull behind the old Caddy, the guys came by and gave them a full motorcycle escort out of Charming. Jax, Opie and Piney all had tears in their eyes as they looked back at their brothers—still brothers just in different charters now.
"
Fifteen Months Later
"
Much had changed in fifteen months for the residents and former residents of Charming. For those that remained in Charming, life took a darker turn.
Just before leaving town, Jax confronted Gemma over her attempt to destroy his marriage by trying to use Ima and Colette to seduce him and then send the pictures to Tara. He told her that he was through with her for good. She was to have no more contact with anyone in his family—him, Tara and Abel. He told her that she no longer had a family. She had screamed, reminded him that she was his mother and repeatedly tried to slap him. Jax stood firm. He left her shaking with anger.
To soften the loss of her son and grandson, Clay got Gemma a golden retriever puppy that she named Jax. Gemma loved the mischievous puppy and took him to TM with her everyday to the delight of both the guys and the customers.
It wasn't the same as having a son, but Gemma was confident that Jax would cool down and let her back into his life. She was his mother and that tie was too strong to break just like that.
Shortly after Jax left town, Linc Potter gave up on getting the Sons on weapons charges. He turned the intel he'd gathered over to the DEA who were enthusiastic about busting a major drug muling operation.
That last muling run before SAMCRO handed over the operation completely to SAMTAZ (Sons of Anarchy Tucson, Arizona chapter) had been scheduled and rescheduled three times. The Irish were having trouble getting weapons.
When it was finally time to make the run, Clay was short handed. He had to bring in guys from the Tacoma and San Bernardino chapters to help them mount a proper escort for the weapons and coke.
Just as they were making the trade guns for coke and money, the DEA swooped in, busted Alvarez and the Mayans, SAMCRO and SAMTAZ. There was a truckload of coke and a truckload of guns that could not be easily explained.
The guys had been caught dead to rights, so the defense didn't stand much chance. The MC poured what money it had into their defense.
Gemma owned the house before she married Clay. A life insurance policy paid it off when JT died. She flatly refused to sell or borrow money to fund Clay's defense. She knew that it was a hopeless cause and she wasn't about to jeopardize her financial future. It was obvious that Clay was a sinking ship and she wasn't about to go down with him.
The evidence was so overwhelming, it may not have mattered how talented their attorneys were—it's difficult to explain a truckload of automatic weapons and a truckload of coke. The convictions brought long sentences. The guys would be old men before they got out of prison. Clay got a forty year prison sentence. It was doubtful given his age that he would ever get out. It was effectively a death sentence.
For the first time since he'd left California, Jax and Gemma were in contact. Since no one wanted anything to do with SAMCRO, TM's business dried up overnight. She wanted to sell TM. Jax agreed to the sale of the property. He put his portion of the proceeds in a trust that was used to keep the commissary accounts of the Sons full. It was the least he could do to help his brothers out.
Gemma was hoping that Jax would offer to let her back into his life even if he were only doing it out of pity. It didn't happen. He signed the necessary paperwork for the sale of TM and used Lowen to set up the trust fund for the guys.
Gemma lost her husband and the status of being the old lady of SAMCRO's president. Now that the MC had been publicly exposed as arms dealers and drug smugglers, no one wanted to associate with Gemma. She was no longer the queen of Charming. Instead, she was a pariah. She'd lost her son, her husband and her social standing in less than five months.
A lesser woman might have sat at home and cried. Gemma was tougher than that. She wasn't about to sit at home and grieve the loss of her husband to prison. She set out to find herself some male company.
After a few weeks, she met Nero Padillo one night in a bar and hooked up with him. He called himself a companionator which sounded a lot better than a pimp except to the government who saw him as a man who sexually exploited women and young girls for profit.
With TM sold, Gemma needed a job, so she jumped at the chance to help Nero with scheduling and general office work since she'd done similar tasks for TM. Just as Gemma was finding her footing in her new job and finding happiness and love with Nero, it was snatched away from her by the government—this time a county task force cracking down on sex trafficking/prostitution.
Nero's crew often got a little heavy handed recruiting new employees for the escort service. They liked to hang outside bus terminals and find vulnerable looking girls. They would promise them good money to go on dates with men and they wouldn't have to do anything they didn't want to do.
Despite this being an old scam, girls still fell for it. The first time a girl refused to have sex with their date, one or two of Nero's crew would put a beating on the girl and she either had sex with the next date or got an even worse beat down.
Unfortunately, they picked the wrong girl when they picked up Annie at a bus station. She refused to have sex with her first date so Nero's crew beat and raped her. She then did something they never expected—she went to the police.
Not only did she report what happened to her, she revealed what was going on at Diosa. She was determined not only to see Nero's crew arrested for beating and raping her, she wanted to bring down the whole operation. She wore a wire and played a key role in helping them bust the operation.
Making it even worse, Gemma hired a couple of new girls who turned out to be underage. She hadn't bothered to look closely or question the two fifteen years olds who didn't look like the pictures on their IDs that claimed they were in their late twenties.
The county sheriffs descended on Diosa and Nero's "clean" little escort service was exposed as nothing more than a front for prostitution and the sex trafficking of underage girls.
The women who had worked at the escort agency testified that if they tried to leave, Nero's crew would beat them, threaten their families and once showed some of them a breast they claimed to have cut from the body of an escort who had disappeared from Diosa. They got thirty year sentences for crimes ranging from kidnapping, rape and assault to pandering.
So much for the myth that prostitution is a victimless crime. These women were victims. Free choice isn't free when leaving carries with it the risk of death or a beating so bad, a body would never heal from it.
Nero claimed he didn't know that his crew was forcing escorts to keep working if they wanted to leave. He never hurt any of the women. The prosecution wasn't able to offer any evidence that he knew what his crew was doing, so he got a light eight year sentence. He would be out in four with good behavior. Gemma hired the underage girls, so she drew a six year sentence. She hoped to be out in three.
Gemma always landed on her feet. It didn't take her long before she became the queen of her cell block. She rented out her house to provide herself with commissary money. As for puppy Jax, one of the crow-eaters adopted him. He became a much loved family member.
The night that Jax saved Tara's life, he also saved Wendy's life. She'd taken an overdose of crank as Jax suspected. Paramedics arrived just in time thanks to his call.
She finished rehab for the third time and this time seemed to stick because she gave up the fantasy that she and Jax might have a future together. That completely changed her outlook on life. She threw off the ghosts of her past, moved to Southern California and became a highly successful sober living coach working for rock stars and the Hollywood elite.
Not all of SAMCRO landed in prison. Bobby, Chibs and Juice decided to take a long road trip to visit Jax that summer before the disastrous meeting the DEA crashed. It was a lucky escape.
The men were going to spend a couple of months helping Opie and Donna renovate a large house they had purchased and had plenty of room to put the visitors up.
When SAMCRO got busted, Jax, Piney, Opie and new member Seal (nicknamed because he was ex-special forces) voted to offer membership in SAMBON to Bobby, Chibs and Juice. Bobby, Chibs and Juice had to decide if they were going to go back to Charming and continue to be in SAMCRO of if they were going to leave that chapter of the MC and let it die.
Jax's SOA chapter was run differently. It was outlaw more as an attitude. They didn't run guns, shake down businesses for protection money or make the MC into a money making enterprise. It was an actual club where free thinking guys could gather to ride bikes and be brothers.
Bobby liked this new way of running an MC. It was what he signed up for when he became a member originally. He thought SAMCRO was dead. Greed and Clay killed it.
Merlotte's the bar/restaurant that Jax and Opie purchased was doing so well, that they decided to expand and add a dance floor with entertainment. That was Bobby's new job playing DJ and performing as Elvis. He was a big hit and the town loved having a place to come and dance and socialize.
Juice was faced with a slightly different choice. He didn't have a family. The MC gave him the love and sense of belonging that he needed from a family. After watching SAMCRO get busted, he needed to decide whether he even wanted to be part of an MC. With Bobby deciding to leave SAMCRO for SAMBON, that meant SAMCRO didn't have enough members to be an MC anymore. After the bust, it was dead anyway. He was damned thankful that he hadn't gotten arrested.
He still wanted to belong to an MC. He knew almost from the moment he patched in to SAMCRO that he didn't have what it takes to be an outlaw. He didn't want to kill people. This new outlaw in name only MC might be exactly what he was looking for.
There was also this cute waitress Sookie that had caught his eye. He already had a serious crush on her after just a couple of dates. He could easily get a tech job and work from the small town. He accepted membership in SAMBON too. He went on to have a successful career in tech support and he and Sookie were engaged and planning a wedding in the fall when the weather turned cool.
Chibs had quickly discovered that running a porn studio was a lot more fun than it sounded. Lyla was doing an excellent job in her new role as a director, but he continued to have issues with the porn stars. He missed the old days where he could just be a mechanic.
He was ready to make a change beyond patching SAMBON. Fiona and Kerrianne had come to Louisiana from Ireland to visit Chibs. Kerrianne had always resisted moving to the United States because she didn't want to leave Ireland. Her feelings about staying in Ireland changed.
At fourteen, she'd fallen in love. Fiona didn't realize that Kerrianne was having sex until she got pregnant. When Kerrianne told her boyfriend, he called her a whore and told her the baby wasn't his. He didn't want to accept any responsibility for the baby. She knew that he would take the news hard, but she had no idea it would be that bad.
He spread rumors that she'd slept with six or seven guys and she didn't know who the father of her baby was. She ended up losing the baby when she was only five weeks pregnant. He then spread rumors that she'd gone to Mrs. Wiggs for an illegal abortion. He'd made her life a living hell.
When Chibs suggested she and Fiona stay in the U.S. and move to Louisiana, they agreed. Despite the vast difference between Northern Ireland and Bon Temps Louisiana, both Fiona and Kerrianne loved the town.
Kerrianne needed a fresh start where she could leave her reputation and the past behind. Starting high school in a new town and country would give her the fresh start she needed.
With Jax and Opie as partners, Chibs opened a pub style bar that served pub food like fish and chip and sandwiches. There was more than enough room in town for another bar and it was a huge success.
Fiona and Chibs decided to give their marriage another try now that Jimmy was dead and Chibs no longer had any business dealings with the Irish. Focusing on building a new life together helped them to rediscover the love they used to have for each other.
Piney gave up sex with random crow-eaters for a love triangle with two widow women who loved the bad boy biker even if he did ride a trike. He was in no hurry to pick a favorite because he loved all the attention he was getting. He also loved taking his grandkids and Abel out fishing.
He was proud of the changes Jax and Opie had made to their Sons charter. It was what JT would have wanted for SAMCRO before Clay hijacked the club to turn it into a criminal organization. He was also grateful that Jax and Opie hadn't been locked up when the DEA swept up SAMCRO. It had been a wake up call that SAMBON was on the right path.
Opie and Donna were thriving in their new lives. Donna worked part time at a local beauty salon. She and Opie loved how Ellie and Kenny were around Abel and they had both fallen under Baby Nate's spell, so they added to their family. About a year after leaving SAMCRO, Donna gave birth to a healthy baby boy they named Johnny.
Jax and Tara found the perfect house a few months after moving to Bon Temp. The upstairs of Merlotte's was converted into a motel. Each guest got a free breakfast an the restaurant. It was the nicest motel in town and the rooms were almost always booked up providing extra income for the business.
Two months after Johnny was born, Tara gave birth to a beautiful healthy baby girl that she and Jax named Natalie. She worked part time in a medical practice and had been warmly welcomed into the community. She loved family practice and didn't miss the stress of being a neonatal surgeon. She and Jax were already talking about adding one more baby to complete their family.
Nothing ever came of the investigation into the nurse's death. Try as they might, the detectives could never put the cross into Tara's hands. They only had Otto's word for it that she gave it to him. The case was closed. Jax turned out to be right; the witness was just a lie to trick her.
With such a beautiful and happy life, they still faced one problem—Gemma. They were discussing allowing her to visit the kids when she got out of prison, but Jax wasn't convinced that she should be invited back into their lives. They had a couple of years to make that decision.
For the present, they focused on their family. SAMBON played a part in Jax's life but his life was no longer centered around the MC. It was centered around his wife and children. They still had weekly meetings and went on runs, but Tara no longer feared Jax would get locked up or fall victim to MC violence. Jax hoped more Sons chapters would change to be like SAMBON. This was his legacy and JT had a hand in influencing him to take this path. He knew that his father and Baby Nate would both be proud of him.
Jax, Opie, Donna and Tara had grown closer with the move. One week, they would have all the kids for a sleepover at one of their homes giving the other couple a chance for some quality alone time. Even with two babies to care for, they maintained these sleepovers. Piney even hosted the occasional sleepover with all the kids and the babies thanks to one of his widow girlfriends who helped out.
Leaving Charming turned out to be the right decision for them all.
"
Author's Note: If you are thinking of hurting yourself, please get help. In the United States, you can call 1-800-273-8255. It's the National Suicide Prevention hotline and it's available 24/7. If you live in another country, I'm sure there's a number you can find on the internet to get help.
In this story, Tara felt she had nothing to live for. In a moment of intense despair, she tried to kill herself. Less than 24 hours later, her problems began to disappear. This isn't realistic, but I didn't want to write how these problems slowly worked out and the quick resolution my plot.
If you feel overwhelmed by your problems, there are counseling programs available in the United States if you can't afford to pay. Most cities or counties offer low cost/free counseling services as part of human services or community services. You can get help there. I'm sure if you call the Suicide Prevention Hotline number, they can offer suggestions on finding counseling services.
Depression can overwhelm anyone and it doesn't mean you aren't a strong person. Your life can appear fine on the outside, but there's something broken inside you that keeps you from caring about anything. You're tired and you don't care enough about yourself to fix what's broken inside you.
Please suck it up and find enough energy to get yourself some medical help. Go to your doctor and talk to him or her about medication to lift your depression. Sometimes your brain's chemistry isn't right and medication can correct that. It isn't your fault that your brain isn't producing the right combination of chemicals. There's a real cause for your depression. You can be helped.
Just please, get help and don't hurt yourself.