"Right now?" She asks, eyes widening. His wound had barely healed under her hands.
"Right now." His gaze never fleeting hers. "We don't have much time to spare do we?"
It hurts. The hurtful tone of his voice etching the anger towards the Planet as well as the ache about discussing her future so late.
She sits beside him, her eyes close for a moment and he waits for her to collect her thoughts. This is it. Her fingers play on her knees as she breathes shortly, her mind building up the words that she so keenly had been avoiding to say.
"I guess I was never meant to stay." The thought of leaving him keeps her from looking at him, she can't bear to see the damage she's causing on his heart, so she stares ahead. He had endured so much, he deserved to be happy, they deserved to be happy together. She fulfilled her purpose, she got to save innocent lives, her friends, the Planet… but why is She being so cruel to deprive her of the promise of happiness she so desperately wants, Aerith questions over and over and over again.
Blinking, she notices her eyes had pooled with tears that streak down so heavily they don't even brush her cheeks. "I've been getting these warnings… sometimes it's my hands or my feet… they get so clear I can barely see them… and sometimes the Planet Herself speaks… that I'm about to fade back to the Lifestream."
He grabs hold of her hand and squeezes it as if… if he holds on tight enough she won't be able to go anywhere. Her eyes drift to their hands on her lap as he interlocks his fingers with hers, then her gaze finally lifts to his face and the haunted look in his eyes makes her heart flood with a sadness she can't take.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner." She shakes her head, swallows so thickly it's painful. She can't believe she's putting him through this again. If she had been told… she would have never…
There has to be a way. Her thoughts dwell in her mind like a scrambled puzzle she's incapable of putting the pieces together.
Through her blurred vision she sees him quietly listening, shoulders stiff and motionless, lips pressing firmly into a thin line, eyes so intensely looking at her she wonders if he had stopped breathing. "I've been trying to fight it. Hoping that if I was successful at it we didn't have to go through this talk." Her breathing stutters along with her chest. "Silly me to think I could go into conflict with the Planet." She lets out a soft desperate laugh. "In the end… I was never meant to be here, if it wasn't for Holy…" she pauses to take a deep breath. "Can't catch a break can we?" A ghost, that's what she has always been. Might as well have done it all as one, would have spared him another heartbreak.
"I know I shouldn't have kept this from you." She continues as he doesn't move. "I've known I was disappearing for a few days. If you have it in you to forgive me, I never meant to cause you so much trouble. I should have never been sent back here. If this is what it was coming to. I should have never—
He's so fast at pulling her to his chest with his hand carefully bracing the back of her head to him she doesn't realize it until she feels the woven fabric of his shirt dampening with her tears.
He presses his lips to her hair languidly, feeling the way it so smoothly brushes against his skin, warm and soft and forever smelling of flowers; so much so that closing his eyes, he sees the sunkissed infinite field of yellow flowers he often dreams about. His eyes burn behind his closed lids.
"There's nothing to forgive." He says, voice so solacing it crushes her chest with emotion. He'd rather have this little time she spent with him a million times over than a lifetime without her, without knowing her or being this close to her, she would always be a constant emptiness, a constant unfixable ache eating at him alive. "But it pains me to think you went through all of that alone."
Her arms wrap around him tightly, she holds him as if he's the very anchor that's keeping her from floating away.
"Vincent says there must be a way." Cloud whispers against her ear. His hot breath on her skin sends shivers down her spine, reminding her she's still there, solid and real and present.
"Nanaki too." She says and she pulls back to hold his face between her palms. Her eyes shine with a threat of tears. "But I won't find it here." They cascade down with the flutter of her eyelashes.
"Can I talk to Her?" He asks and she giggles and sobs at the same time at such innocent yet tormented question.
"It doesn't work that way."
"I have to do something." His exasperation is palpable. His chest inflames with a mixture of fury and pain and helplessness. "Aerith… I have to do something." He repeats, clenching his jaw. The desperation makes his fingers twitch, makes him fidget restlessly in place.
She shakes her head slowly. What could he do if what's separating them is the spiritual veil between life and Lifestream… and death. A world he cannot enter unless… Her hands curl into tight fists, nails dig so deep into her palms she feels them boring into her skin.
"I don't want you to hold on to something that we don't know if it's going to happen." She says so quietly only he really could hear. Her eyes dance in the light as she delicately places one hand on his cheek. The only option he has is to move on, to let her go so he won't forever be waiting for her to come back again. What she doesn't say, he hears it from her thrumming heart.
He lingers his gaze on her face, grimacing at the connotations hidden behind her words, that simply isn't an option for him.
"No." He says, blue eyes blazing. "I'll wait." He says determinately. There's no way he won't. There's no moving on without her. He presses his forehead to hers. "For you."
"Cloud. What if I—"
"You will. There's no doubt in my mind you will. And I'll be right here, searching for a way to reach you. We'll fight it together, until we find each other again." Endlessly if that's what it takes, he thinks, no way he will ever give up on her. He takes her hand, kisses it softly, eyes shutting to a close as he brushes his lips over her throbbing palm. "Will you let me know… when you go?"
"I-" she stammers, her voice gets strangled in her throat, she wouldn't want him to see her fade but… at the same time, she wants to hold him until the end.
"Please." He winces. And her heart falls apart each second that passes between them.
"Will you stay with me?" Her eyes soften with a splinter of hope, a broken smile takes over her lips.
He nods with a lingering sadness in his eyes.
Yuffie immediately knows something is up when she enters the bar and everyone is simply minding their own businesses as silent as the dead person of a wake.
She rests her hands on her hips, taps her foot on the wooden floor impatiently and hums, eyes sweeping the room looking for a target to shower with questions about what's wrong. Tifa isn't in that afternoon, which she finds very odd, out of all of them, Tifa is always at the bar, always.
Barret sits at the back, quietly helping Marlene with her homework, Cid is using a screwdriver on a piece of metal that, squinting her eyes, it just looks like a piece of rusty scrap junk. She rolls her eyes, so boring, she huffs to the air. Vincent is alone, scandalously, at the bar drinking something dark, she notices, and Red has just passed by her leaving the bar. Which means, the only ones left to engage with are—
"Hiya!" Aerith chirps, coming into her camp of vision. "Can I talk to you?"
"Sure!" The young ninja yelps slightly. "Where have you come out of though?"
"Oh… I was just behind you." Aerith smiles and takes the girl's hand to pull her outside. Aerith drags her all the way into the middle of the square just below the porch. The flower girl clasps her hands behind her back and lifts her face towards the sky as a gentle breeze catches on the chestnut bangs that softly brush her eyes.
"How was your day today Yuffie?" She asks in a soft voice.
The ninja's eyes immediately widen with an eager glint. "Glad you asked." She slightly jumps on her toes. "You know I've been scavenging for rare materia amongst the ruins right?"
Aerith nods, her eyes flitting to her friend.
"Well, found a new form of materia." She continues, her voice singing in a happy tone. "These things… the Planet is like, amazing, but you already know that." She laughs, flaps a hand. "When you summoned Holy, the Lifestream was replenished right? There must have been some kind of surge of it that crystalized a new type of materia I found. Only have this one right here. It takes like, light-years for the mako to crystalize so this is something close to a miracle." She slips a small golden orb out of her pocket. "I'm still figuring out what it does but it kinda looks like a warping type, you know to bend space into getting someplace else without traveling. To me, this is… wow! Thank you Lifestream you know?" She smiles with over-flooding enthusiasm.
"I suppose that without any menace threatening the world, the materia forming will be much less aggressive right?"
"Hey, you got that right." Yuffie's face lights up. Her eyebrows arch in surprise. "You know a thing or two about materia!"
"Well, I'm a Cetra." Aerith giggles lightly.
"Oh yeah… almost forgot you were." The young ninja laughs.
"Hey Yuffie…" Aerith voice weakens as she lingers her gaze towards her friend a moment. "I suppose there isn't a materia that mends a broken heart is there?"
"Ha!" Yuffie's laughter fills the air around them. "I pretty much would be filthy rich if such thing existed." She scratches the back of her head but then blinks in confusion. "But why are you asking about that? Not that you and lover boy ever needed one! Sparks fly all around everytime you guys are together. It's really gross actually." She grimaces. "Unless… what did he do? Has he hurt you, that little cheat never fooled me. I'll kick him in the—"
"Yuffie!" Aerith snaps the girl out of her own rambling. She had already turned to stomp towards the bar, fist shaking in the air. The Cetra laughs hasting her steps to catch up with her. She loves her friend, she loves all of them. A flicker of nostalgia about these conversations strikes painfully through her chest. She is going to miss her so much. "He didn't do anything. Please don't kick him in the—anywhere!" Aerith waves her hands up. "I was just asking for no reason." She shrugs. And with that, Aerith throws her arms around the ninja, pulling her closer into a warm, heartfelt embrace. "Thank you for being you."
"He-Hey…" Yuffie stammers taken aback by her reaction, her hands apprehensively rest upon Aerith's waist. "What is this for?"
"Nothing." Aerith pulls back slowly, her hands lift to her friend's small shoulders, she shakes her head to fight back the stubborn tears that had formed by the corners of her eyes. "Just needed a hug."
"Oh alright weirdo." She rolls her eyes, but then smiles warmly back at the Cetra. She always teased her she was such a softie, only she could make a loner like Cloud fall in love. "Always here if you need one." She scratches her nose absently.
"I know." Aerith nods as she bites on her lip to keep it from shaking. No need to tell her anything… she wants to remember her friend just like she is, cheerful, with a wide grin on her face. Not bitter or in tears because she's leaving. The memories about them should be good ones and not ruined by the sadness of her departure.
I'm sorry… She wanted to say.
"I know…" She repeats to her instead.
They walk back to the bar, side by side, just as the sun kisses the dusk sky goodbye behind them. Just as the world settles down for the night under the quiet whispers of the stars.
Notes: Omg you guys I'm sorry about the angst in here, and this isn't even the worst chapter T.T
Two more chapters left and the reason this one is shorter is because I divided it into this one and the next which I'll be posting soon because I can't wait to start writing something happier. -cries-
Thank you so much for reading and support throughout.
AnriMia: I'm sorry I haven't been mentioning you, I stopped getting review notifications so I've just seen your reviews just now lol thank you for always being here!!! This one hurt but it will be alright in the end!! Thank you so much for reading.
Guest: Thank you for your kind words and for reading as well! Plus your review of chapter 10 made me laugh :) thank you!