By the end of the day, Catra is beyond bored. She ate her fill, explored every nook and cranny of the castle, and convinced Sparkles to play a game of Etherian chess with her, which she lost. Even calling her Glimmer properly couldn't get her a rematch. She ends up in the castle's library, perusing and picking out a few books on Etherian history. Since most of her knowledge comes from the Horde, Catra figures she should probably find out the truth for herself.
She takes the books back to her room and digs in. As expected, they are pretty dry, but the information is surprisingly interesting and Catra quickly loses track of time. The quiet sound of wings flapping in the distance snaps her out of her trance. The shadows extending from the window have reached all the way across Catra's room, signaling more time's passed than she's realized. Her ears twitch as the buzzing sound persists, though it would be undetectable to the human ear. Catra leaves her book open face down on her bed and moves to the closest window to peer outside. The flapping sound is slightly louder here, but Catra can't see anything. She sticks her head out the window and cranes her neck to peer around the front of the building, but no luck.
She hopes it's Adora returning home, but the negative part of her brain whispers that it's probably too early for Adora to be back. Despite the pessimism, Catra sets off towards the throne room. She has to know if her hunch is right.
Fortunately, she's spot on this time, and Adora's ever smiling face comes into sight when Catra's halfway down the hallway. Adora has bags starting to appear under her eyes and is covered in a light layer of dirt. She looks tired, but when her eyes meet Catra's her expression brightens, teeth showing in an even wider grin.
Ten minutes ago, Catra wanted to tell her how annoyed she was at being left behind, but all that is washed away in her presence. "Welcome home." Catra smiles at her. "I'd give you a kiss, but you look like you stink."
Adora laughs warmly in response, "Thank you." She tugs her shirt collar up to her nose and inhales deeply, "Yeah I do kind of reek. I'm gonna go wash up." Adora pauses as if she's forgetting something, her face scrunching up cutely.
"What is it?" Catra can't help but chuckle at how adorable and sincere she looks.
Adora's face scrunches up even further. "Hold on… Ugh I was just talking to Glimmer how could I forget this so fast… Oh wait!" Her expression brightens, "Glimmer! We're having dinner with Glimmer and Bow. I agreed for both of us, I hope that's ok!" Adora gives her pleading puppy dog eyes, the kind she knows Catra can't say no to.
Catra did want to spend some alone time with Adora, but she supposes eating with the best friend squad is okay too. "Sure, that's totally fine, I like your friends." Catra winks.
Adora laughs, "They're your friends too, you know. Anyway, I'm going to get washed up. I'll swing by your room when I'm done and we can go to the dinner together." Adora gives Catra's shoulder a gentle squeeze as she passes, entering her own room and shutting the door behind her.
Catra returns to her room for now and curls up on her bed to keep reading her book. She's only about halfway through and wants to be able to tell Adora she actually accomplished something today. Even though it's just a book, it's better than nothing.
She gets through about 20 more pages before a gentle knock on her door draws her attention. "You can come in." She responds, pleased when a fresh and dirt free Adora pushes into the room.
"You must have been really bored to be reading." Adora teases her lightly and holds out one hand to help Catra to her feet. "Can I see?"
Catra makes a mental note of her page and after allowing herself to be tugged to her feet passes over the book. "Oh yessssss, without your presence to guide me I was completely lost." Catra teases back, though her heart sinks remembering the pain she felt when she woke up that morning. There she goes, lying about her feelings again. Isn't she supposed to be different than this now?
Catra's left cheek twitches and as she opens her mouth to speak Adora does so as well.
"Actua.."
"Let's…"
They both fall silent, Adora's hands coming up to wave in front of her in a silent apology. "You go ahead." Adora says, her thoughtfulness once again reminding Catra that she's nowhere near good enough for Adora.
Catra shakes her head lightly, reaching out to grasp Adora's still raised hands with her own. "No, it's okay, what were you going to say?"
Adora's always worn her emotions on her sleeve, and the smile Catra gets as her reward is bright enough to outshine the sun. "Just that it's time for dinner and we should go."
"Oh!" Catra pushes her worries aside for now, they can always talk about it later, "Why didn't you say so sooner? I'm staaaaaarving."
Me too. Melog chimes from where it lays beside the bed, head laying on its paws dramatically.
Adora of course can't hear Melog. She turns with a laugh at Catra's previous comment and releases Catra's left hand, her right sliding in place to hold as they walk. "Well, we wouldn't want you to starve, better get you to dinner ASAP."
Bow and Glimmer are waiting for them, food already sitting in large plates on the table. They've eaten dinner together for the previous week, but today feels a little different. Catra ponders it for a moment and realizes this is the first time in a while they haven't spent the whole day as a group. It feels nice, rejoining friends at the end of a day being apart.
Catra builds a plate for Melog first and places it on the ground next to her. It thanks her and digs in eagerly.
The group starts eating as well and updates each other on what they did that day. Catra suggests Adora starts them off, but Glimmer injects with a mischievous grin that she wants to go first.
She leads with Catra's bitter defeat at Etherian chess, which despite Catra trying to deflect gets told anyway. Adora is supportive as always and says she can practice with Catra for next time.
Catra chuckles as she grabs another biscuit off the center plate. "Considering how bad you were at planning against the Horde, I'm not sure it'll help."
"Well maybe I've gotten better since then." Adora retorts, reaching for a biscuit herself. "We did catch Double Trouble…" She pauses to take a bite out of her biscuit, chew, and swallow. "We could also ask Bow to help us."
"Hey!" Glimmer protests, "No using Bow against me!"
Bow grins widely from being the center of attention. His eyes are locked on Glimmer and he ruffles her hair affectionately, "Now now, you can't keep me all for yourself." He turns back towards Catra. "I'd be happy to help you with chess strategy, just know that nothing we discuss will be kept private." He leans into the table and lowers his voice. "I'm not good at keeping secrets, especially from Glimmer."
"We already know that Bow." Glimmer quips with a friendly smile. The group bursts out in laughter and moves on to the next topic. "Tell us about the Sea Elf Village." Glimmer encourages Adora to go next. She seems eager to know what she missed out on.
Adora's eyes light up as if she'd forgotten her own adventure earlier that day. "Oh! That's right! The Sea Elf Village was great! There were at least 10 Horde clones there, but it was no problem for She-ra." Adora pauses and glances around the room as if searching for something. After twenty seconds her eyes fall on a fruit bowl sitting at the center of the table. The bowl is just out of Adora's reach, so Catra passes it over wordlessly.
"Thank you." Adora gives her a toothy grin before turning her attention back to the fruit. She picks up an apple, two oranges, and a pear. "Okay, so imagine these are the Horde soldiers." She moves the bowl aside to make space and puts the fruit down in a sloppy circle. She returns to the bowl and grabs a bunch of grapes, plucking one off and placing it in the center of her newly created scene. "This one is me."
"Were the Horde soldiers really 10 times as big as you?" Bow points out skeptically, a grin breaking out on his face.
Adora doesn't realize he's joking and shoots him a quizzical look, "Not everything can be to scale." She huffs and fiddles more with the fruit, "But if you must know, they were at least three times my size. Anyway…" She picks the grape up with her right hand, "this is me, and I was surrounded just like this. It looked like I was doomed, but I used strategy to win!" Adora moves the grape diagonally, tapping an orange and then bouncing to tap each fruit in turn accompanied with a 'bam!' sound effect with each motion.
Everything Adora does is endearing, and this is no exception, but it does bring back Catra's lurking doubts about her own achievements that day. Or really the lack thereof. She watches as Adora bounces her hand around to each fruit again, picking up the pear on the final round and throwing it over her shoulder with a 'whooosh.' Catra twists around to watch the fruit fly, pleased when Melog dashes over to smoothly catch it.
Can I eat this? It tilts its head, holding the fruit gently.
Catra nods, "Go ahead, it won't hurt you. Just spit out the pit when you're done."
Melog purrs in thanks and bites down. It's sweet.
Catra leaves Melog to enjoy the fruit and turns back to the table where she realizes she's missed part of the conversation. Adora is talking about clean up now and asking Bow if they can build a tracker to try and find the remaining Horde soldiers.
"Maybe?" Is his uncertain answer. "We do know that the Horde soldiers all have the same source code, but with the HQ ship out of commission I'm not sure how we could track them." He stares at the food on his plate for a moment, his eyebrows crunching in. "Just give me a little time, I'll come up with a way!" He raises his fist in determination.
Adora grins back, "Thank you Bow, I just think it'll help get Etheria back to normal." Adora nudges Catra, "How about you? Other than losing at chess and starting a new book, how was your day?"
Catra's eyes flick from Adora to Bow and Glimmer across the table. Three people with goals, dreams, and skills. Bile rises in her throat at her own inferiority. Her fist clenches, claws digging deep into the table and she looks down at her food. "It was fine," she attempts to speak normally but the words are hard to get out, and though Bow and Glimmer don't seem to notice Adora's eyes widen ever so slightly.
They're in public, so Catra takes a deep breath in, and upon exhaling loosens her claws from the table with a light shake of her head. She forces her lips into a weak smile and glances up to make eye contact with Adora. Her shoulders feel heavy, but she shrugs them in what she hopes looks effortless, "Really, it was a quiet day."
"Okay." Adora responds quietly, not seeming to buy that everything is fine but also not wanting to start a scene. Catra appreciates her for that and is relieved when Adora asks Bow about his day next, effectively changing the topic.
The rest of dinner goes by smoothly, and after thirty minutes they wrap up and excuse themselves for the night. Catra wants to go directly to her room and sleep the rest of the day away, but she only gets a few steps down the hall before she's stopped by a gentle tug on her right hand.
She turns back, not surprised to see Adora standing there, eyes shining with worry. Adora pulls her gently, walking past her and leading her to Adora's room. Adora stops in front of it and turns back to face Catra, probably realizing she brought Catra here without her even asking if she wanted to come. "Do you want to come in?"
Catra tries to ease her worries with a dry laugh, "Oh, trying to get me in bed?"
Normally, this would throw Adora off her game, but she's too focused this time and the distraction is a complete failure. "No, I just want to talk."
Catra flattens her lips in a thin line, her eyes meeting Adora's and then flicking down to their joined hands. "Okay." She reaches down with her free hand to pet Melog. "I'll meet you back in our room later."
Melog grunts and walks away, likely excited to curl up and get some shut eye.
Catra allows herself to be guided into the room, shutting the door behind them. They walk over to the bed silently and Adora sits down near her pillow, releasing Catra's hand and patting next to her for Catra to sit. "Okay, tell me what's wrong."
Catra sits down with a sigh, leaning against Adora's shoulder and appreciating the warmth. "It's stupid."
"Catra," Adora says her name filled with warmth and love. She waits to continue until Catra turns her head to make eye contact. "Your feelings aren't stupid." She clears her throat. "That being said, if you don't want to talk about it that's fine too. You don't have to."
Catra is impressed that her stubborn Adora would say that it's okay to not share something, she really has grown since their days at the Horde. Catra does want to talk, Adora deserves an honest and open relationship, something Catra hasn't been able to give her previously.
"This might sound crazy, but I guess I just felt useless today." Catra starts with the heart of the issue, a huge weight immediately lifting off her chest, "You were out there saving Etheria, which is great! All I did was oversleep, lose at chess, and read a book." Adora raises a hand to rub Catra's back gently as she continues. "If it were once in a while I wouldn't mind, but to think that everyday this will be my life now, I don't know…" Catra trails off.
Adora continues to tread slow loops into Catra's back, gently applying pressure between her shoulders. "You don't know… what? If you want to live in Bright Moon?" Her voice is calm, but Catra can tell she's worried.
Catra leans harder into Adora's touch. "It's not that, I do want to live here. I want to be here, with you." Her face flares red as the last words slip from her mouth, Adora's cheeks tinting equally pink back. "Uh… okay let me see if I can explain this better. Growing up, we were both soldiers, right? You left the Horde and found your own path, but I stayed there until the bitter end."
"Right, but now you're here with me." Adora comments. "Which is great, we love having you."
Catra nods in agreement, "I'm glad I left, but right now I don't know what to do with myself. We fixed up the town for a week or so, but what now? All I've done my whole life is fight, but now that the war is over what should I do?" Emotion seeps into her voice, her true fears finally coming to the surface, "What if I'm only meant for destruction." Tears prick at the corner of her eyes, "Like I said, it's stupid.
"No, no no, it's not stupid!" Adora reaches up to wipe a stray tear that Catra hadn't realized had fallen from her cheek. "When I first set out I was also worried about what to do, but by trial and error I found my way." Adora's expression turns thoughtful, "Why don't you come with me tomorrow? Entrapta needs She-ra's help." Adora leans over and places a gentle kiss on Catra's forehead. "We would make an epic team."
Catra smiles and sniffles softly, more appreciative than ever to have Adora. "Sure."