"If two wrongs don't make a right, try three." -Laurence J. Peter

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Three Weeks Of CS Part I

Jasper High

Monday 07:50

Week 1:

Humphrey's P.O.V.

Monday's... such weird days y'know? Often the most boring of days can be the most interesting and eventual in the end.

I sit in the homeroom class alone because... well... it's a Monday and the cloud cover kept me under the weather so I really didn't feel good enough to hype myself into talking with anyone at this time. Kate and Lilly should be arriving at school any minute now too so there's that, I guess. I sigh then decide to sketch something in th meantime. I grab my pencil and start drawing Iris's C7 off of my memory.

"Mm-mm-mh, this is sad. You're the physical embodiment of 'FeelsBadMan' right now." Salty says as he stands at the door to the class. "Can you blame me?" I ask him without lifting my head from my sketch. "It's a Monday, I know but usually you aren't like this." I sigh then look at the lanky wolf leaning against the door. "It's that but also something else. I can't talk about it."

"Did Kate push you away or something?" Salty asks. "No. Don't try guessing 'cause, you'll only land further from the mark." I tell him then get back to the C7 sketch. I felt self-conscious saying that. I didn't know what I was doing in the current situation with Iris but the more I try to understand her, the more confused I become. I know I overthink things sometimes but this felt justifiable...

"Yo, you still there?" Salty asks. "Huh, what?" I ask just as I snap out of my train of thought. "You spaced the fuck out when you looked down at your drawing or whatever." He says. I apologize then stuff the drawing in the bag. "Jeez, you're a sad lump of meat and bones today..." Salty tells me. "Well screw you too..."

Salty flips me off then walks away from the doorway. I groan then slump back onto the desk. Fucking Monday's...

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Art Class

I felt so off tune this morning that everyone else around me noticed it. Is this what it feels like to be the quiet kid always sitting at the corner of the room?

I sit at my desk and slump with my head on my arms. At this point, I didn't know why I was this gloomy anymore. Mooch and Lilly enter the class together then sit at their places aswell. "Hey man. You look like shit." Mooch tells me. "Yeah, I feel like it too..." I respond. Lilly stares at me then shakes her head. "Hey Mooch." She says. "Hm?" Marvin hums. "You want in on a secret?" Lilly asks then winks suspiciously at me. I just stare at her, wondering what she's plotting. "Kate, Humphrey and I discovered something big last weekend..." I jump up from my seat at this, accidentally knocking my chair down.

"Woah, whoa, woah! What do you think you're doing?" I ask the white wolf. "We found out that CSE...'s energy drinks are surprisingly healthy! They contain almost no caffeine and use natural, fruity colorant in the mix." Lilly says. I could feel my heartbeat relaxing again after she started talking about energy drinks. She definitely did that on purpose but why though? Just... why? "Now you look better." She tells me with a bright and innocent smile.

"You did that 'just' to get my heart beating?" I ask Lilly. "Yeah." She replies with an innocent nod. "You do realize that him knowing about CSE's plan would likely come with consequences for us?" I ask her a second question. "Yeah." She answers again with the same, simple nod. "So you you teased me anyway?"

"Yeah!" Lilly answers my final question raising her arms up and down. "CSE's what?" Mooch asks. I facepalm at myself for accidentaly leaking that outloud in front of Marvin. "Nothing, Humphrey's just a dumbass." Lilly says as she painfully nudges my arm. "Hey why're you attacking me? You're the one who made me slip up." I say to her.

While Lilly and I start to argue, three wolves wearing black and red overalls walk into the art class carrying a huge 152 inch plasma television set that seems to just about fit the front wall of the class. "What...?" Cade asks with his jaw dropped to the floor. "Sounds like money rubbing together." Lilly tells Cade. Mr. Van Paol, our class's art educator, walks in after the CS overall-wearing wolves. "Good morning class. As you can see, the class is getting a 'minor' glow up." Van Paol says to the class.

"Glow up?" Lilly asks. "Yes... isn't that the lingo you kids use now?" The class cringes at the art educator for saying this. "Oh, so this is what it feels like to pull a 'how do you do, fellow kids' nowadays..." Van Paol says. Now even the two wolves in CS overalls in the middle of installing the huge TV turn around and cringe at him. "Anyway, this lesson's voided for obvious reasons. Enjoy your freedom while it lasts." I shudder at his last sentence. Gregory Van Paol sounded like a better villain than a relatable 50 year old timer.

Some time passes in the class and sounds of drilling and hammers banging were heard throughout and around the school. The bell finally ring for us to move onto our next classes. I grab my bag and make my way to history class, wondering what's changing or being added to the class.

Apparently, the Swift sponsorship and it's school overhaul is being put into immediate effect. Kate had told Lilly and I that it was bound to happen much sooner than later. I really didn't know what to think of it at the time. Was it good? Maybe. Was it for the benefit of our school or just CSE's gain? I don't know. They wouldn't throw in so much money to make and old school look like it was built in 2030, completely retrofitting it with the latest tech and equipment their company can provide for secondary schools. It seemed they were doing this for a good cause but that contradicts what I had heard and seen from them. I knew I would have to watch CS for the remainder of this project. It was only a day but I could tell they were serious about it and numerous changes were upon the school.

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I've taken note of what I've seen and noticed that was already changing or will be changed/altered or added.

Art: A giant-ass plasma TV is being installed in the front of the class. A new data projector is also being setup this week. A brand new, CS exclusive 3D printer will be brought in around next week. I don't know what makes it different from a regular 3D printer but, yeah...

History: New textbooks, top-shelf data projectors. That's it... well for now, I guess.

Mathematics: Everyone gets free CS calculators, geometry sets and... calculator watches? What the fuck?

Computer Sciences: Computers in this class will be replaced with way faster and more powerful technology. The kind of PC's that are highly optimized for gaming. That's odd... but I'm not complaining.

Consumer Studies: Like History, it's getting all new textbooks, but also new cooking equipment and much more efficient stoves next week. This was the upgrade Lilly's been waiting for.

Chemistry: Classes are getting new chemical apparatus and access to CS's procured resources for practical experiments. Strange how they have access to chemicals and stuff for whatever reason but I'm not questioning it anymore.

Extracurricular Activities: With the funding, the school can finally fit in new sports activities and other club activities. I don't know which ones we'll get yet but we'll know sometime next month.

P.E: Here's the strangest thing... well actually it isn't but it's pissing everyone off. The school's P.E uniform and tracksuit color scheme's being changed to CSE's black and red colors. Is that how school sponsorships are supposed to work or am I just fucking smooth-brained?

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"Probably the latter but on that note... why are telling me this?" Hutch asks me after telling him about what I've found out at school. "I don't really know. I stopped by just to say thanks for the 'Vette that Friday. I guess I started rambling about some stuff at school after that." I reply to the confused mechanic.

"Oh, well no shit..." Hutch tells me as he continues to work on a sedan's damaged doors. It's strange how this one wolf works on bodywork and performance modifications for cars alone in this auto shop. "Did Garth come by to get the Z06 fixed yet?"

"Nope, but on that note: why the hell did you give that dumbass your car? He knew the nitrous oxide to fuel ratio was off by a thick margin but he used the boost anyway, fucking idiot. He should've been busted for his master dumbass-ery." Hutch says. I nod my head as if I knew what he was talking about. "I agree."

"Don't bullshit me, I know you're clueless about cars." The mechanic waves his wrench at me as he says this. "Yeah." I say with no shame at all. Hutch scoffs then continues his work on the blue sedan. I start walking towards the exit while looking at the cars in the garage. "No way... Iris's C7."

"You have a crush on her or a crush on her wheels?" Hutch asks without averting his attention from the sedan. "No, nope, not at all. Maybe a little..." I say. "Well lucky for you, that girl hasn't shot one rude comment at you or turned you down quicker than she could reference an 80's song." Hutch tells me. "I think you could be her type, as dull as you are..."

"I've heard she's known for breaking hearts and smashing balls. I thought maybe she was into girls at first until she started giving me weird compliments and cracking sex jokes in between our convo's." I tell the lone mechanic. "She what?-" Hutch jerks upright as he asks, hitting his head on the door. "Ow! MOTHERFUCKER!!!" He howls in pain. "Ha! That made my day."

"Oh well I'm glad my pain is a fucking joke to you. Tsk... asshole." Hutch says to me then gets back to his work. I figure that I've out stayed my welcome in Hutch's shop for today so I exit the garage, quietly snickering at his unfortunate accident with the door like the immature fucker I am.

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The following week:

Narrative P.O.V.

Week 2:

"Iris better call me White Stripes 'cause I'm bringing a seven nation army. Fuck, that reference is cringey as balls." A white furred wolf says as he stands at the front gate of Jasper High. The mysterious stranger slides on a pair of aviators then walks towards a black and white 2005 Ford GT. He enters the car and dials a number on his phone.

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To Be Continued...

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The Lounge: Blitz pulls out the 12

Kate: (SPOILER) and Iris are both in the story so early, why?

Blazin' Blitz: I told you once, I'll tell ya again... (distorts voice) My goals are beyond your understanding.

Humphrey: K...

Lilly: I'll personally give a blow job to the person playing Campanella in the background.

Humphrey: (grins) I-

Lilly: I know it's not you.

Humphrey: (frowns)

Blazin' Blitz: On a different and nonsexual topic, it's month of the spooks!

Garth: Blitz, I'll literally pay you to not talk in cringe.

Kate: mOnTh oF tHe sPoOkS! Jesus Christ, Blitz.

Blazin' Blitz: Fuck y'all! Leave a boi alone.

Kate: HAHAHAHAHA, no.

Blazin' Blitz: (whips out a 12-gauge) "no" this motherfucker...

Kate: Lol, no.

Blazin' Blitz: (loads four shells in the Moss' 500)

Garth: Calm down Blitz, don't pull out the 12.

Kate: THAT'S NOT HELPING!!! BLITZ ALREADY HAS THE SHOTTY TO MY FUCKING FACE!!!

Humphrey: Chill Blitz, don't pull the trigger on the 12.

Lilly: This is the most scuffed parody of "Don't Pull Out The 9, Jamal".

Garth: I'll scuff your ass.

Everyone: Wuuuut...?

Garth: I mean, I'll scuff that... uh, fuck...

Humphrey: I dunno man...

Blazin' Blitz: Garth sounds kinda sus.

Kate: You know what to do...

(Three votes from Kate, Humphrey and Blitz pop up next to Garth's head)

Garth: AW, WHAT THE FU-!!!

Blazin' Blitz: (aims Mossberg at Garth's face) SKIBIDI-BOP-MM-DADA. (pulls trigger)

Garth was the imposter.

(1 imposter remains)

Lilly: Oof... there were two... couldn't be me.