The weather outside kept getting colder but inside the game, it was as sunny as ever. Sayori and MC sat in the grassy backyard of the empty Bachelorette Pad while Rob was inside reading a book while sitting in a recliner. With him nearby, MC could enjoy some time awake to visit and chat. Given that he had been completely inert since the last visit, Sayori had to drive most of the conversation.

The last time they had visited, Yuri and Natsuki had come along. That was perfectly nice, but Sayori wanted some time to talk to MC alone. The other girls were surprisingly agreeable to the idea. It seemed like with each passing day, Yuri and Natsuki were coming closer to leaving their old home behind. That was probably a good thing, but it didn't come to Sayori as easily. Not when she had been created with a lifetime's worth of memories about growing up with MC. She couldn't imagine leaving him behind, not completely.

"Rob's brother and his girlfriend went back to New Zealand this morning," Sayori was telling him. "The funeral was yesterday and they stopped by the house afterwards."

"Was that the first time you met them?" MC asked.

"Not exactly. I met them briefly but this was the first time I got to have a real conversation with Alex. He said something that really stuck with me."

"What was that?"

"I told him that I felt sad that he had to go to his grandmother's funeral during what was supposed to be a happy trip home," Sayori said. "But he said he was glad it happened this way because he had a chance to see her shortly before she died."

"That's interesting," MC replied, although Sayori wasn't totally sure he meant it. How much of this did he really understand?

"It reminded me of this holiday that's coming up. I've heard it's about being thankful for good things in your life, even when things are hard. I knew about Halloween, but this seems a lot different. People just get together and eat a lot."

"Sounds like your kind of holiday," MC quipped.

"I am looking forward to the food," Sayori agreed. "I tried to get Rob to tell me more about it, but he was a little evasive. He said it was a weird holiday and tied up in some of the nastier parts of his country's history. I don't know what he really meant and I'm not sure I want to. But the point is, I was impressed by how Alex could find a reason to be thankful even when he was in mourning. I wonder if that kind of thinking would help me at all."

MC looked troubled. "Sayori…are you getting help?"

"What do you mean?"

"I…I haven't forgotten what happened to you," he said, looking uncomfortable. "You were gone…and I couldn't stop it."

"MC-"

"It's a miracle that you're here now," he continued. "But I don't think the other world works like that. You won't come back if something happens."

He was crying now, something which Sayori couldn't ever recall seeing. It was wrenching to think about her state of mind on that awful night when she decided the only way to quiet the agony in her head was to just end it all. How far gone was she to not even consider what it would do to him? And he had never really gotten a chance to deal with the trauma, since the game just started over from there.

She took both of MC's hands in hers. "It is different out there. There's nobody or nothing messing with my head. The game isn't doing it. Monika isn't doing it. I'm able to just be myself."

That did little to mollify him. "Please tell me you're going to get help. That guy has depression too, right? He should know what to do."

"Wait a minute," Sayori said. "I never told you that. How did you know that?"

"Uh…I don't know. When he's here I feel like I can see little bits of his mind from time to time. It's weird."

"It's very weird."

"You'll listen to him right? If he tries to help you?"

"Yes!" Sayori said, sounding more annoyed than she intended. "You don't need to worry about me so much. I've got it under control."

"I hope so," MC said. Sayori did her best to change the subject and they spent another hour together before she began to get restless about keeping Rob away for this long. As she gave MC a hug goodbye, she noticed he was holding back tears again. Sayori hated this situation. If only he could come with them and see the crowded, loving home she was now living in. Then he would feel better. Honestly, even if she did try to hang herself again, trying to find enough privacy to do it would be half the battle.

It almost felt like mercy to leave and let MC go back into his sleeping state. At least then he wouldn't be so worked up. Still, he wasn't wrong. For weeks, she had been putting off any real reckoning with her depression. Now that she was in a world where real help was out there, didn't she owe it to MC to at least learn more?

"So do you think I should take medicine?" That must have seemed abrupt, but she didn't think there was any natural way to bring up something like this. Best to do it now while they were walking home instead of inside the busy house.

"Maybe," Rob answered. "I'm not really qualified to say, though. And it's not as simple as just going to the store and getting it. We would need a psychiatrist to evaluate you and give you a prescription."

"The idea of taking pills like that scares me," Sayori admitted. "Does that make sense?"

"It does," Rob replied. "I resisted it for a long time."

"Really? Why?"

"I had all sorts of reasons. I was nervous about side effects. I didn't like the ethics of big corporations profiting off treating the very depression they've inflicted on the world. In the end, I think I was just freaking out because I couldn't imagine myself without depression. It was miserable, but I didn't know what would happen to my identity without it."

"But the medicine helped you, right?"

"In the end, the change wasn't nearly as drastic as I had imagined. It tamps down the symptoms but it's not everything's all flowers and happy faces."

"Oh," Sayori said. This felt like a lot to process.

"I wouldn't be too nervous yet," Rob continued. "We won't be able to get you any sort of medical help until all your documents are worked out. But…if you wanted to talk to a therapist, I could bring you to see mine during one of my own appointments. She would probably be okay with that."

"I'll think about it," Sayori said. "In the meantime, I'm going to try to be more positive…you know, count my blessings and all that."

Rob made a face that was hard to read. "Well, I...I hope it helps."

"I can hear the hesitation in your voice, Rob."

He looked away from her. "I just don't want to discourage you."

She squeezed his hand. "Please just tell me what you're thinking. Otherwise I'm going to imagine something really bad."

Rob sighed. "I was thinking that depression doesn't care how many blessings you have. It will still come for you. I don't want you to beat yourself up if you count your blessings and you still feel down."

"Oh."

"I used to have a page on this website. You might have heard of it, it's called Facebook."

"I've heard of it," Sayori said.

"One of the reasons I left was because a lot of people I knew in real life are apparently armchair psychologists when they're online. All they did was post stuff about how gratitude and positivity would solve any problem. It was almost like a cult. I knew this one lady from my old job at the newspaper. She was always so nice in person and then one day, she posted some picture that said 'smiling is the best antidepressant.'"

"That can't be true!" Sayori yelled. "I would have been cured a long time ago!"

"Exactly. It's fuckin' stupid."

"Did you talk to her about it?"

"I tried."

"You told her it was fuckin' stupid?"

Rob laughed. "No, I was trying to be polite about it."

"What did she say?"

"No idea," Rob said. "She deleted my comment and removed me from her friends list."

"Huh?"

"She probably saw it as negativity," he explained. "And she couldn't have that on her perfect page."

"That's not right," Sayori said.

"You know, I used to hate MC for the way he treated you when you told him. But honestly, a lot of people don't get it and would have reacted the same way. People have a problem with the concept of mental health struggles, they want to cling to some narrative that a person can fix it with enough effort. So it's always 'you're just exaggerating' or 'you need to exercise more' or 'you're not counting your blessings enough.' They don't know how to cope with the reality of it, which is that when you have depression it's just...there, no matter what you do. You can get treatment and it does help, but it won't ever totally leave you. There's not gonna be some Hollywood ending where you're completely cured and singing joyful songs while dancing around in the Alps."

"I kinda lost you at the end there," Sayori said.

"My mood actually hasn't been so bad lately," Rob said "The medicine helps keep me stable and the therapy gives me a chance to talk about it in a way I never feel like I can do anywhere else. But some of the symptoms are still there. I still have to fight like hell to get out of bed every morning. I still never have all that much energy. Like I told Monika once, it's like the cycle of seasons and eventually it will come around again."

Sayori frowned. "I don't know if that should make me hopeful or miserable."

"I was aiming for hopeful," Rob said. "Because I'm still here. No matter what it does to me, I'm not going anywhere. Especially not now, with you all here. And I want you to know that you can talk to me about your struggles whenever you want and however you want. You don't have to cushion it with counting blessings or whatever. It will never alienate me and I'll never see it as a burden."

Something about what he had just said gave Sayori a strong intuition. He was telling her all the things that he wished someone had told him when he was younger. She had once told MC that she had been depressed for her whole life, but now she knew that didn't really mean anything. There was no life before the game started and her memories of years with depression were just a vague sensation. But for Rob? She wasn't sure if he had been dealing with this for his whole life, but it must have been there for a good long time. What he was telling her was meant to be encouraging, but at the same time he just seemed so old. So tired. And in serious need of a hug.

That was one thing she could do well. Sayori hugged him. "I...I love you, Rob."

"I love you too."

"It's funny," she said. "I used to say that all the time when we would write to each other...but it's different in person, isn't it?"

"Yeah." Sayori stayed in his arms for quite a while before he let go. "I should probably start getting lunch together for everyone."

That was no small feat. Rob or Kate had been going shopping for groceries every other day and the refrigerator was still being cleared out for each meal. Rob hadn't had any luck with his job hunting, so it wasn't clear how long they could keep this up. They would never ask for this, but Sayori still considered going back inside the game and creating some more gift cards for the local restaurants and grocery stores. It seemed like the least she could do, although the one for J Timothy's hadn't totally worked so it was a risky idea.

While she ate, her mind lingered on the surprising observation that MC had made about Rob. Despite the obvious differences between them, Sayori had a hard time differentiating between them in emotional terms. She subtly glanced around the table. Yuri and Natsuki didn't seem to be having any trouble with this, but Monika…she might have some insight.

As the girls dispersed after their meal, Sayori waved Monika over. "Do you think we could talk for a while? Outside?"

"Okay," Monika said with a shrug. It was a bit strange but Sayori had learned that the outdoors was the best place to find any privacy. Once it got too cold for that, she would have to come up with something else.

For now, it was still perfectly pleasant as long as she was wearing a jacket. She sat on the front steps alongside Monika.

"So what's going on?"

"I'm a little nervous to talk about this," Sayori admitted. "But I'm really confused about my feelings and I think you're the only one that might get it."

"I'll try my best," Monika said.

"It's about Rob and MC. Back in the game, I could barely think about anything other than MC. But then I learned that Rob was there the entire time. But he never talked to me, it was MC who talked to me. But everything MC said was determined by some writer while Rob has helped me so much on his own. I'm so mixed up, I don't know who I really have feelings for."

"Hmm," Monika put a hand on her chin and thought for a moment. "In my case, I knew from the moment you brought MC to the club that Rob was the animating force behind him. I couldn't see Rob though, I had to talk to MC and trust that Rob could hear me. It was odd for me, I could see how it would be even stranger for you."

"Not that it matters all that much," Sayori sighed. "It's a dead end either way. MC won't ever be able to leave the game and Rob's married."

"Be careful of that," Monika responded.

"Of what?"

"Of that idea…that your relationship with somebody is a failure just because they aren't your romantic partner. If someone had explained that to me, I could have saved myself a lot of pain."

"I understand that," Sayori insisted. "But it just hurts to be rejected."

"You weren't rejected," Monika said firmly. "Unless you've directly asked him to get divorced and marry you instead. I tried that on the day we met and he just laughed at me. That's rejection."

Sayori didn't have a response so Monika continued. "But eventually I was able to understand that he did love me…and that love wasn't inferior or less sincere than the kind I originally wanted."

"I…I think I understand."

Monika grabbed her shoulders and forced Sayori to look right at her. "I want to make sure you also understand that he does love you. A lot. I couldn't possibly calculate how much time he spent agonizing because he was afraid you were suffering in the game and he couldn't do anything. That field is only a few minutes away, but he would have traveled to the ends of the Earth if that's what it took to help you."

Sayori recalled their conversation earlier that day. "It's because…he's like me. And I'm like him. But nobody took care of him, at least not like he's taking care of us."

"For all the time I've spent here, you're still connected to him in a way that I never will be," Monika admitted. "That used to make me crazy, but…I've tried to accept it. He needs someone who really understands those experiences…and so do you."

"You've changed so much," Sayori said, shaking her head in wonder.

"It wasn't easy," Monika said. "In fact, it was pretty painful."

Sayori was quiet for a while. "The other girls think I'm crazy because he's so much older than us. I guess it is a little weird if you think about it."

"I don't think it's very complicated," Monika said. "He's kind. He's not perfect, that's for sure, but he's truly and deeply kind. Kate is too. After all we've been through, that's pretty appealing."

"Yeah." Sayori smiled wistfully. It was a simple answer, but probably the correct one.

"Sayori?" Monika asked. "As long as we're talking like this...can I ask you something?"

"Okay."

"Do you...do you think Natsuki will ever forgive me?"

"Oh gosh," Sayori replied. "I don't know. I wish she would, for her sake more than any of ours."

"I've tried to apologize to her, but it goes nowhere."

"Yeah, that's not going to work," Sayori said. "I think one of the issues here is that she's not thinking about the last time, she's thinking about the next time."

"What?" Monika asked as her eyes filled with tears. "There's not going to be a next time! I'll never hurt any of you again! Never!"

Sayori sighed. She hadn't meant to get Monika so upset, but this clearly had been bothering her for a while. "Sometimes...when somebody really gets hurt, they get obsessed with making sure it can't happen again. It can get to the point where it just causes them more pain, but they are determined not to be that vulnerable again. I think Natsuki was so hurt by having her trust betrayed that she can't imagine taking that risk again."

Now Monika was sobbing with her head in her hands. She struggled to gain control and managed to calm down but was still trembling.

"I'm sorry," Sayori said. "I didn't want to upset you this much."

"No, I'm glad you're telling me the truth."

"Do you want a hug?"

Monika immediately slumped forward into Sayori's arms. "Maybe I'm a sap," she said. "But I was mad at you for such a long time. I just feel done with that and I know Yuri does too. We just want to get as much out of our lives here as we can. I hope we can get through to Natsuki by setting an example, but I'm not sure."

Sayori let Monika rest against her for a few minutes before they both stood up. She was distracted for the rest of the day as she pondered the new dynamics she would have to navigate surrounding her friends and loved ones. They would likely to be sharing the basement for a long time and bad blood between them would just bring everyone down. Natsuki and Monika were even in the same room. Sayori had considered switching with one of them, but decided that maybe the current arrangement might motivate them to make peace.

She sat on the futon and exhaled as Yuri looked up from her book.

"How was your visit with MC?" she asked.

"It was good," Sayori said with a light smile. Yuri kept looking at her and Sayori realized that she was waiting for hear more.

"Sorry, Yuri. Is it okay if I tell you more tomorrow? I'm kind of…talked out for today."

"Of course," Yuri said. She was a true introvert and probably knew this feeling well. "Should we watch a movie?"

Sayori nodded and Yuri went upstairs to peruse Rob's large library of films. She glanced over at the basement's other room, where Natsuki was reading and Monika was using her computer. At the very least, they had been able to share a space without hostility, but she knew Monika yearned for her clubmate's forgiveness. That would be tough, but for now she had to trust in the tenderness that she knew lived within Natsuki, the side of her she struggled to conceal in order to protect herself. Sayori hoped eventually it would make itself known.

Author's Note: This is likely the last Houseguest chapter of 2021. It's a busy time of year, in case you haven't noticed! I'll be back in 2022 to finish things off, only a few more chapters to go. Thanks so much for reading!