Since I updated last I have finished Buried Deep Within. That was the oldest and longest of the finishing stories. I also finished one called I still love you.

I have also started a new story, because I broke a tooth and wanted to write a fic about someone doing that. Haha. Anyway, it'll be quite short so this all makes five stories just finished, and seven that will soon, including this one.

While Lorelai went grocery shopping one of the first days Amina was with us I found myself carrying her around the house

"Wall…" I pointed in the hallway. "…jacket…" I went into the living room where clothes were scattered all around. "And clothes your grandmother got you on a Boxing day sale… How many outfits are there?" I quickly counted and figured it must be around fifty. "I don't even know if you'll have time to wear them all before you've outgrown them…" Amina felt so little and scrawny in my arms. "You'll see. Now you're with us and we can give you proper food you'll be growing bigger by the day." I could hear Lorelai's car coming up the driveway. "Momma went to buy some things. She was going to buy some things you might even recognize." As usual Amina said nothing but I carried her into the hallway when Lorelai came inside. "Now, do you want to go to her and I'll sort out a meal for you?"

Lorelai put the grocery bags down on a chair and then reached her towards her chair, then towards Lorelai. But just as I must have known by now she reached back up towards my neck. And her tiny little fists wrapped so tightly in the fabric of my shirt I'd need to bend it open if I had to. And no way was I doing that.

"Oh well, you can stay with me…

I did hurt me to see the look in Lorelai's eyes when Amina once again turned to me. But the only thought we both could hold on to that she had a reason. And after all, we could still count the hours of how long Amina had been with us. And while we knew Amina, and felt like we had all our lives- all of this was new to her- just as new as the fifty, something new outfits Emily had gotten for her only the first time she had had the chance to go shopping, during some Christmas- sales on Boxing Day yesterday.

"I'm quite certain I've never had some of these ingredients before…" Lorelai told me while taking the groceries from the bag. "Chick peas… Cumin… At least not since I moved away from mum and dad. Now come on, you said you found a recipe of something to make… I want to try it too."

Only being able to use one hand and arm it took a bit longer than it would actually have had to. But holding Amina tightly towards my side I got all ingredients for what I was making and somehow made it until I had it on three crackers, one for us each.

"This is a cracker…" I told Amina while I put her in the chair and then took another one for myself and one for Lorelai. "…and this… well, I don't really know what it is. But we thought you might like it and it is…" I took a bite. "…absolutely disgusting!"

I would have liked to spit it out, if not gag. And nonetheless when Lorelai left the room and went into the bathroom to spit hers out.

"Ga-ge…"

Suddenly, just as Lorelai came back into the room Amina said something.

"What?" I was so surprised I didn't have the time to understand what she was saying. "What did you say?" I looked at Lorelai but she seemed as taken aback as I felt and we could only hope Amina would say it again while she pointed to the pack of crackers that laid on the kitchen counter.

"Ga-ge…."

"Do you want another cracker?"

"Ga-ge."

"After all of this time we tried to make you say momma or da-da." She only looked back at me in confusion the way she always did. "You try and say cracker."

"Ga- ge."

I put Amina down in her chair while she kept eating, and she seemed occupied by that and the three crackers I laid in front of her while I cleaned up on the kitchen counter. Of course, I'd rather have held onto her but I just couldn't do that twenty four hours a day even if I wanted to.

"Some first word, right?" I said. "Cracker? Well… she's your daughter…" I was interrupted when there was some noise and colors of firework right outside our window. "Already shoo…" When there were more I saw the look on Amina's face. Her eyes had opened wide in fear and panic was shining long way from them while she had frozen in her moves. "Hey…" I wiped off my hands on the kitchen towel, and went to sit down next to Amina and lifted her onto my lap. "It's okay. Sch, it's okay… Why can they never wait with those until midnight…"

I had never really cared for fireworks. But the latest couple of years, when it had become more and more known what problems there were- for example like PTSD I could have bought every single one in the whole town, not to shoot them.

All of a sudden, when there were fireworks right outside our window Amina slipped down from my arms, then- before I had the chance to react she crawled down under the table just as there was more loud fireworks outside.

With a helpless feeling over me I crawled down under the table and pulled her back onto my lap while Lorelai came too and hugged us from my side. As usual, by now Amina sucked her thumb and snuggled closer towards me.

"If there was only some way to make you understand…" I almost whispered. "You have been through so much terrible. But you don't have to worry anymore. You're with us now and we will always keep you safe."

"Now, what are we supposed to do?" Lorelai questioned the same that I couldn't help. "They'll be shooting on and on all until New Year's. Then they'll be shooting all day until midnight…" She gave me a helpless glance. "You're right. I just wish there was some way for us to tell her so she could understand it wasn't here to hurt her."

That was at New Year's Night. At least it seemed to have finished now, but ignoring my aching limbs from the crouched position. I waited for almost an hour until I got up again. And realized it almost seemed like we could see what Amina saw, playing like a movie in her dark eyes.

Maybe if we could there would be more ideas of how we could help her get away from all of it…

"Well…" I sighed at last, we couldn't stay under the table all our time. "…The cellar it was, right? I'll have to go and get a pair of those headphones…"

This is it for this chapter. Poor Amina. I never liked fireworks. But how terrible they are for people with PTSD (for example) I couldn't even imagine.

Random fact

I found the recipe(s) of typical Somalian food(s) on google. The hummus mentioned here was on vitality magazine and is titled Recipe: Chickpea Dip and Somali Hummus.

Hmm… not sure. But I think next chapter will be the last.