The Tick vs... MY HERO ACADEMIA! Issue 88
The Place? Kitchen Stadium.
The Time? Now!
Two teams were currently in the midst of a fiery battle for supremacy in the art of cookery. In one corner, the dastardly american villain all the way from The City... THE BREADMASTER! In the opposite... home town support hero and UA Staff Member... LUNCH RUSH! The air was thick with anticipation, as the two teams gathered their ingredients for the Billionaire's Wager.
Teen hero in training and current sous chef, Shoto Todoroki found himself almost out of breath, carrying yet another tray of ingredients from the plinth to their section of Kitchen Stadium. Waygu beef, king crab, fresh Maine lobster. It boggled his mind how much all of this cost.
"Two hours to make five dishes on a live broadcast to... what? All of Japan?" Shoto finally caught his breath.
".. all of Japan if your lucky, kiddo. This was a big fancy deal. Did'ja not spot the camera crews from the CBC? Sky? Thames? France2? This is all over the world, Todoroki... gotta tell ya, when I first started out, I never had to face this much stress until I was in my late 20s... kids these days." He pulled one of the lobsters and showed Shoto how to dispatch them.
"Meat is for a mousse, but we'll use the shells for a compound butter... get a pan started with a little bit of oil, we'll fry these up and blitz them." Lunch Rush was the King of UA's cafeteria. But a king was still a king, even outside of his kingdom. Shoto could do this. This wasn't so bad. They had two hours.
"By the way, the Breadmaster is most likely going to take every minute and squeeze out whatever we can. Forget about 5 dishes... we're gonna shoot for the moon and give them fifteen!" ... at three judges and the Chairman... that was 60 covers in two hours! Actually, not so bad compared to what he found himself doing most days working at UA's cafeteria.
Dish 1!
Lobster Mousse with fresh crustini served with a lobster herb butter. A simple appetizer making use of the crustaceans flown in fresh from the United States. Shoto kept stealing glances to the other side, but every time he did so, he found he was being admonished.
"Don't worry about what the other side is doing. It's a distraction. The host is a distraction. The play by play announcer is a distraction. The television crews are a distraction. You're just at your home... and your cooking for your friends and family." The Hero told his young ward. Shoto nodded. He could do this. He was home... he was cooking for his mother and siblings and all of his friends.
Dish 2!
Roasted and toasted nuts. Far more simple then the first dish, but it was supposed to be a palate cleanser in which the judges would have a few spiced and roasted nuts to clear out the richness of the mousse they were starting with.
And it wouldn't be this Iron Chef if Lunch Rush didn't take it to the absolute limit, whipping up a basic spice meringue to douse the nuts in!
"I don't see, sir, how this fits in the theme of the battle." It was so... simple. It didn't scream Billionaires throwing money away.
"Five words, Todoroki! Edible Gold and Silver Leaf!" And as he said, there was flecks of gold and silver leaf in the meringue as he was whipping it up and pouring the nuts in. Once again, Shoto found himself tempted to look towards the other team, but he refrained from doing so.
This wasn't some studio at TokyoTV... he was back at home, cooking for friends and family!
Dish 3!
Beef Bone Broth with Beef Slices. Simple dish that wasn't too filling, but the absolute kicker was that it had to be absolutely 100% crystal clear. Even in the midst of a battle that held the whole fate of the Culinary World.
It was extremely important that they cleaned the bones properly before they boiled them for the broth with the aromatics, but... Shoto was... skeptical.
"Do you think we could actually produce a proper bone broth in under two hours?" Every time they had to do it at UA, it took hours and hours and hours.
"Normally, I would agree. There are no shortcuts, but in this case... in this exact moment?" He hefted from one of the cupboards a pressure cooker. "We'll take what we can, Todoroki." A pressure cooker would, in 25 minutes, force and entire day of cooking. They could in fact do their third dish.
Dish 4!
A light salad spicy wild greens, cheese, and dressed with actual factual balsamic vinegar and fine first press olive oil.
"I don't see how this fits the theme. Wild greens aren't that expensive." Shoto was curious how this was part of the Billionaire's Wager.
"Ah, the trick, Todoroki is other particular. Genuine parma cheese, genuine balsamic vinegar, olive oil straight from the source. It's all about the little things coming together as one, much like a group of heroes."
"Are you turning into a life lesson about cooking, family, heroics, etc?"
"Now, now... what kind of enigmatic master would I be if I explained everything as it happened.
Dish 5!
An aperitif was decided to be the fifth dish. And they had access to some interesting select spirits. Shoto was reading the label of one of the bottles.
"Pappy O'Doyle's Family Reserve. 23 years old." He looked over to Lunch Rush.
"Careful with that bottle, Todoroki! That bourbon costs 1.3million yen." The plan was to make a set of 2oz Manhattans to whet the appetite of the judges for the not one, not two, but three main courses that Lunch Rush was planning on.
They would, of course, be made table side, but he wanted to make sure everything was set up on the bar cart that would be taken up with the rest of the dishes.
At Alliance Heights, it was the only thing any student could watch! Every single common room for every single dorm building had TokyoTV on, as they watched one of the Number 1 hero's sons do battle in Kitchen Stadium along side Lunch Rush, the Support Hero that cooked them every meal they ate while at the school.
This was no different for the students of 1-A, 20 eyes were glued to the screen, as they watched what was going on in the middle of the capital. Shoto Todoroki was not only on television, he was also cooking. Canny members of the student body could see that he was using his quirk, and they could only imagine the pressure he was under.
"I don't get it. How is it possible... how is any of this actually happening?" Momo Yaoyorozu wasn't disappointed, she was just curious how her... well, they weren't official yet, she was reticent to call Shoto Todoroki her boyfriend, but the point still stood. He was out there and he was with millions and millions of people watching him.
"... well..." Someone started. "Todoroki is training with Lunch Rush to train his quirk via finesse in the kitchen. The Breadmaster is a villain from America that has a thing for cooking and cookery. Breadmaster attacks the Iron Chef studio for some insane reason and challenges anyone to fight him." That someone, was of course, Izuku Midoriya.
"All it means is that Shoto Todoroki has taken the lead in being the single most coolest member of 1-A and not just by a little... but by a lot!" Minoru Mineta added in. "I don't think any of us would be able to over come this gap by the end of the year, we might have to be half way through our second year before any of us could even approach his current level of cool!"
He slammed his head into the coffee table. "A 7 outta 5 Coolness factor... ugh!"
"Coolness isn't one of the stats they gauge us by, Mineta..." Denki told his buddy.
"Not officially! But I do! I keep track of everyone's Coolness!" Because of course he would. Then again, if not him then who.
"Don't worry, Mineta, I'm sure you'll find someone that thinks your cool." Ever the friendly one, Izuku did his best to also cheer up Minoru.
Dish 6!
The first of three entrees, it was Filet of Orange Roughy, grilled to perfection with an orange bourbon glaze. Breaking down the fish was Shoto's job on this dish. Descale it, cut of the fins, cut off the head just past the gill plate, make sure to remove the pin bones and blood line and it was just the ugliest damn thing he had ever saw.
"Normally, I don't like working with Orange Roughy. It takes some 30 years for it to get to market size, but it's all been paid for by TokyoTV. May as well use it." That... was something that Shoto wasn't expecting. Thirty years for a fish this ugly to be this small... will the world never cease to amaze him?
Still, once they had the filets, Lunch Rush got to work grilling them, glazing them with a mixture of spiced honey and bourbon, creating a syrup that stuck to the flesh, even as they grilled it over hot coals skin side down.
Dish 7!
Seafood side... simple enough, oysters on the half shell, to be shucked table side. All Shoto had to do was makde sure the oysters were in ice and that when Lunch Rush went up to the judges, that he had plenty of lemons and the knife he needed to crack them open.
Dish 8!
Beef entree. Beef Wellington. Pure and decadent. A filet steak, brushed in dijon monster, then pate, duxelles, and puff pastry and then baked to perfection. Shoto's job for this particular entree was the preparation of the duxelles, something that Lunch Rush said he was putting his complete trust in allowing Shoto to make on his own.
In all honesty, Shoto Todoroki was finding Lunch Rush to be a better father figure then Endeavor. Or at least the pre-Kamino Horror Endeavor, he could at least admit that his father was trying to improve ever since being made the number one hero.
Dish 9!
Foie Gras Lollipops. Taking foie gras, the exact middle of the lobe and forming rounds to fry on both side and then dust with crushed pistachios. 13,000 yen lollipops, between the Beef Entree and the Poultry Entree.
"Don't you think this is a bit... excessive?" He finally asked as they started to set up the lollipops for the display.
"Excessive? It's a billionaire's wager, Todoroki. If we didn't go all out and over the top, they would think we were disrespecting them." Well, he couldn't argue with that logic.
Dish 10!
The poultry entree. Slices of duck breast with raspberry coulis, served medium rare. Shoto was learning so much about cooking and cookery during this absolute baptismal of fire that he was current on going and it was a learning experience. Scoring duck skin, the right temperature for the oven. All in the name of perfection. It was... exhilarating, in it's own way.
At the League of Villains safe house, they too were watching the happenings on their television with great aplomb. They were able to bring in new recruits and most importantly, making great use of Himiko Toga's quirk giving them an in at Tartarus. Sure, Stain was broken out... but he wasn't the only treasure kept in that vault.
"What is wrong with him?" Shigaraki finally voiced, as they watched the camera pan over the kitchen the Breadmaster and Buttery Pat were using for this battle of who's cuisine will be declared supreme.
"What do you mean, Shigaraki?" Chairface was otherwise occupied with his tasks for the League of Villains, though that didn't stop him from having a glass of wine and a cigar while he worked.
"The Breadmaster... why did he attack TokyoTV? What triggered him this time?" Sure, the Breadmaster had a thing about cooking, but it wasn't like he was going to try and understand all of it.
"Who knows? Who cares? If he gets caught, we'll burn that bridge when we get there." Was the LoV's consigiliere's response.
"Like we did with Barry?" The man put down his volume and peered at Shigaraki as good as someone with a chair for a head could do so.
"Barry was a psychopath and we're better off not having him. Though, I suppose if we need to rescue the Breadmaster and they haven't extradited Barry back to the States, we could get him back." There was a moment. "What abut Muscular?"
"What about him? He landed in Perth. The last thing I want to do in my life is go to Australia."
Dish 11!
The final cleanser course, Shoto Todoroki wasn't sure if this was something that he was completely comfortable with. Green turtle soup. The Orange Roughy was one thing, it was just a fish... but this...
"I don't know if I can do it. I get it. They already purchased it, but it just seems so..."
"Cruel?" Lunch Rush finished for him.
"Yeah. Cruel. I suppose it's not much different from other meat, but..."
"No, no, no. I get it. Cooking is a lot like love, you learn your limits rather fast. If you don't want to help on this dish, feel free to keep the rest going." With that permission, as they had several pots and pans for several dishes going at once... Shoto took it upon himself to work on those while Lunch Rush did the soup.
Dish 12!
A Sazerac digestif, much like the Manhattan apertif, to be made table side by Lunch Rush for the judges. Once again, Shoto was too make sure that everything on the cart was ready for when they went to judging.
Dish 13!
The Thirteenth dish in their ouvre for this battle was a tribute to thei Rescue Hero of the same name. It was a scoop of freshly made neopolitan ice cream, frozen rock hard... deep fried... and then decorated to look like the Moon. While the salad was all about the tertiary ingredients, this was all about the technique and what went into it.
Dish 14!
Dish 14 was to be served with it's proceed and perceding dishes. A simple medely of grilled fruit, using the most rare cultivars they had on offer Kitchen Stadium's pantry.
Dish 15!
Millionaire's Shortbread. Only as a joke. And really something to distract from all the richness that was presented before them from both sides of the aisle. Lunch Rush was nothing if not thoughtful of his guests.
The two combatants brought the fruits of their labor to the forefront of the stadium, and each were able to look over what the other had done. Lunch Rush provided his 15 dishes... and yet... so did the Breadmaster, also presenting to the judges his own 15 dishes. But one dish caught the eye of the support hero.
"... oh my gosh." The final dish the Breadmaster made... a set of eclairs. "That dark chocolate... it's vanta black..." He leaned in, and saw it was so.
"It's magnificent." The Breadmaster chortled as the hero's praise for the Eclair.
"And it is YOUR DOOM! I have carefully crafted 15 delectable dishes that will bring grown men to tears on sight and scent alone! And what are you? A glorified, up jumped LUNCH LADY!" He laughed again, as he took his dishes to be judged by the panel... leaving Shoto and Lunch Rush by themselves.
"... are we going to lose, Chef?" Shoto finally asked. He wasn't sure he liked the idea of being encased in frozen sherbet. Perhaps he could use Half-Hot/Half-Cold to break free, but that wouldn't do much for Lunch Rush and the rest of the people in the Studio.
"Maybe." For the first time, the man sounded dejected, hollow. "Did you see what he made? No short cuts. Everything was perfect. Did you see that eclair? Chocolate so dark light can't escape it's surface... He made La Bombe."
"La Bombe?"
"A theoretical eclair. The chocolate, the cream... I can only speculate if it has the 25 pounds of butter per square inch or the one million calories."
"You don't think we're gonna win, do you?"
"Well... we won't know until we talk with the judges. You ready, Todoroki?"
"I suppose I have to be." Was the young man's reply.
The three judge panel was made up of typical Japanese celebrities. And some of them Shoto knew, having met them at functions that his father hosted. The Mayor of Toyko. A former Prime Minister. And the current deputy head of the Hero Association. And to think, he cooked for these people. He was nervous, and he didn't have to talk to them. He let Lunch Rush explain what they did, just making sure to pass plates out for the judges after each course.
"I know I've been saying this a lot..." The deputy head started, half way through the courses. "But this is some of the best food I've ever eaten."
That was a good start, wasn't it? It had to be. On the other hand, they have no idea what they said about the Breadmaster's masterpieces.. It flew by him so fast that before he could even catch his bearings, they were already leaving as the panel deliberated.
"So this is it, Chef?" He finally found his voice and asked.
"Looks like." Was the hero's reply, as the judges came out... as the scores were listed. There was the possibility of 55 points. 15 in Taste, another 15 in Originality. Then there were 10 points in Variety and Ingenuity. And finally... 5 points in Plating.
It hadn't surprised Shoto to find that Lunch Rush and Breadmaster had tied in just about every category and he wasn't sure what would happen if they went into over time, but the final category of Plating.
Lunch Rush: 5. The Breadmaster: 4. End total: 55 versus 54. Winner? Lunch Rush! The comments from the judges stating that just smearing several sauces on a plate was considered completely gauche in this day and age.
It was a long, hard fought battle, but Lunch Rush and his assistant Shoto had successfully triumphed over the Breadmaster and Buttery Pat, gaining the crown of the greatest super-chefs of Kitchen Stadium. But before they could move to capture the villains, the Breadmaster took a glass jar out of his apron and shattered it on the floor.
Released from its glassy prison, the sourdough starter spread rapidly, covering half the stadium in a sticky, bubbling morass, and leaving the judges trapped with the culinary supervillain while the heroes were stuck on the other side.
Shoto looked around and considered his options. They couldn't charge through the starter without neutralizing it somehow, it would take too long. The same went for leaving the stadium and finding an alternate route. He could try to freeze or cook the starter to make it safe to run across, but Breadmaster would see him doing it, and could hurt his hostages. Using his Quirk to attack Breadmaster directly was also out - the villain was standing too close to the captive judges, and he wasn't sure he could fire off a blast powerful enough to disable the villain and tight enough to not hurt a hostage. They needed a way to distract Breadmaster in order to get an opening. His hand went to a pocket, and he felt a small container inside it, and got an idea.
When he had made dinner for Momo, she had regaled him of a tale of how disastrously bad a cook her mother was, culminating in how she had, instead of sensibly leaving the preparation of snacks to the kitchen staff, tried to help Momo tutor some of their classmates by baking them cookies made out of brain food, which ended up being totally unfit for human consumption. Shoto had thought the story was a joke, until he checked with some of the people who were at that session, who confirmed it. Kaminari had even saved a few of them for use in a prank he hadn't gotten around to executing yet.
One careful nibble of a cookie had confirmed just how hideous they had been. Shoto now kept that cookie in a sealed container, which he carried with him while cooking as a reminder that one should remember to check if ingredients go together before mixing them. That container was in his pocket. And the Breadmaster's Quirk centered around a highly refined sense of taste. If he got an opening...
Slowly, carefully, Shoto extracted the container and extracted the Brain Food Cookie. Then he carefully watched, and waited for Breadmaster's monologue to reach a traditional maniacal laughter. Then he threw the cookie over the sourdough swamp. The cookie landed in the villain's mouth, and was reflexively bit down on.
Breadmaster smacked his lips. "You call this a cookie? Too much sugar, not enough butter. And what's this? Cabbage? Curry powder? Spinach? Sardines? OYSTERS?! What kind of abomination is this thing?" The Breadmaster started to cough and spit out the vile study aid treat, with Buttery Pat comforting his master as he sputtered. With the two villains distracted, Shoto sent a wave of fire across the floor, killing the yeast in the starter and drying it out. With a path open, Lunch Rush charged across and subdued the Breadmaster, with Shoto sending a blast of ice to contain Buttery Pat.
The Breadmaster didn't even notice that he'd been arrested. He spent all his focus on his continued rant against the horrific baked good he had been forced to taste, and swearing an eternal vendetta against whoever had created the recipe. Shoto made a mental note to tell Momo to warn her mother not to bake again until the Breadmaster was safely deported - or possibly just to leave the cooking to her maids, who actually knew what they were doing.
As the two villains were pushed into a police car to be taken away, Shoto heard one last cry from his first supervillain capture.
"PALATE CLEANSER! I NEED A PALATE CLEANSER!"
AN: ... so I had actually planned on posting this back in August, but work put me out of town, away from my computer for... about 5 months, so no writing nor posting this.
My sincerest apologies.
Also thank you to bissek for the ending