How was this life right now? What had she done so wrong, scratch that. What had she done right maybe? It was insane. It was sanity amidst insanity. It was him. It was Adrien Agreste appearing at her door after a lifetime. It was Adrien Agreste coming back after the first visit. It was Adrien Agreste asking if he could come by again after the second.

There was still something in those eyes. He was full to the brim with something he needed to come out. Of course he was, what else could drive him back to her presence? He wasn't sharing yet though and she decided to leave it be. Watching Audrey seemed to help him. She wouldn't deny him that, or Audrey. It was still hard though, each time he got to her first, or handled something better Chloé did it stung.

It also meant presenting herself better. Baggy sweats had to become tight. She'd be in leggings as soon as she felt safe. It meant pushing her yoga in the time he gave her free. It meant calisthenics and weights to prod her post-baby body back into shape as fast as able. It meant ignoring the tightness across her abdomen instead of curling up to make it disappear. Being out of the light had made her safe, complacent. Now there was one pair of eyes and they mattered. One top of everything else it was one more thing, but at least something she had done before. Style Queen didn't happen by accident.

Most terrifyingly it meant someone in her life. His visits were almost a given. Sometimes a few hours, sometimes nearly all day. It was alien, something she'd simply given up on. It was comforting, but it wasn't hers to enjoy. He had a daughter by Dupain-Cheng. Chloé hadn't been able to pick apart just what that meant, but it had to be wrapped up in why he was here. Her ancient rivalry was long dead but it figured somehow the pigtailed nightmare wouldn't be done with her. Adrien would share in time, or he wouldn't. Maybe he would just vanish when his mystery solved itself. That would be easier.

Three weeks. Three weeks of being a not-couple; of flitting between friendly hugs and simple distanced goodbyes as he got too real or dreamlike. Three weeks found her on the couch with his head on her leg. Audrey was in a sleep cycle and they were both bound to their independent screens. She was cutting her way through winter offerings; dispensing feature articles, endorsements, or criticisms as was her prerogative. Style Queen could make or break even the powerful. A D-C piece popped up in the queue and Chloé broke the comfortable silence. "Every time you leave, I expect it to be the last."

Adrien tilted his head back to look at her upside down. His boyish looks had matured into a perpetually fresh-faced manhood. He had none of the harsh lines of his father, thank God. He was beautiful, but that was nothing special. She'd had her choice of pretty faces before. He was Adrien, that was special. "Every time I come to your door I expect you to be gone. You were moving, and leaving all this-" He tapped her tablet. "-behind."

Chloé tried to focus back on the outfit, to take it apart impartially. "There's Ninety day internal audit before I am cut loose. Just a little pro-active bookkeeping for show." She glanced back at him with a grin. "To hide the backroom deals behind an air of respectability."

"Chloé you're not getting in trouble are you?"

She snickered. "Already did that. You changed the results half an hour ago."

He reached up and gave her side a little nudge. "I'm serious. Auditors can be vicious, better to be safe."

She patted his chest in return. "Nothing illegal you need to worry yourself over. I won't leave you with two daughters to raise on your own."

They exchanged a look, he rolled his eyes and she tapped his nose with a fingernail. "As for moving, the renovations are taking longer than I expected. I closed months ago, and will own the property free and clear once I leave Style Queen, but converting it back is taking some time."

"Converting it?"

Chloé considered his non-answer to her sideways question. She decided the D-C dress could have an article, never let it be said she held a grudge. "It was a house. Then it was a hotel. I'm turning it back into a house. It felt poetic."

"It certainly sounds like you." Chloé's free hand had rested on his chest again unconsciously. It startled her when he laced his fingers with hers. "Why is it taking so long?"

Chloé didn't pull away, but she wanted to. She counted seconds hoping he would. That kind of gesture, that was different. He could have pulled her hair, left marks on her neck, pawed at her indiscriminately and she could have tuned it all out, this she couldn't tune out. Maybe he sensed her tension because he gave a squeeze and pulled his hand back. She lifted her own hand and brought it back to the tablet, steadying both it and herself. "I haven't the slightest idea. Do I look like I work in construction? Isn't that your domain, oh great builder of schools and orphanages?"

He gave her another upside down smile. She really should kick him out. That or make him stay the night then kick him out, make it all normal again. "I should stop by the construction site. Maybe I can help move things along."

"Trying to worm my future home's location out of me?"

"Maybe."

Chloé rolled her eyes. "Fine Agreste. I'll give you directions tomorrow."

He looked entirely too pleased with himself. Chloé pricked the shell of his ear with her nails. He rocked his head in response, scooting just a bit further onto her leg. Brat.

Audrey was sleeping longer than usual. The monitor glowed it's blue-white picture and Chloé kept looking back at it between moments of work. She squinted until she could see breathing in the grainy video each time. The pattern began to numb her. She noted in a fuzzy part of her brain that Adrien's tablet was flat on his chest and his breathing was very even. Her eyes were heavy. She had to squint harder at the tablet each time she looked back from the monitor.

A cry shot through her being. Chloé jerked to her feet. Her tablet went flying. Adrien was pitched out of her lap and rolled onto the floor, just barely catching himself. Chloé spun a bewildered half circle as her senses oriented. Audrey! The smart thing to do would be to go around the couch but that part of her hadn't woken up yet. Chloé tried to vault the couch in her panic before her legs had truly joined the party yet. It turned into a tumbling fumbling roll across the back but she came up already running. Adrien was right on her heels, he'd had the presence of mind to snatch the monitor for lighting, it had apparently become night at some point.

Chloé kept a hand on the wall for guidance as she ran down the hall, the blue LED on the monitor's camera lit Audrey's room just enough for muscle memory to mostly serve. She had Audrey up, soft coos and soothing sounds to help her little one.

Adrien was there. He put a hand on Audrey's back and the other on Chloé's,"You get her bottle ready, I'll do diaper detail?" he offered. Chloé gratefully accepted, diapers were an ordeal. Audrey was passed off and snuggled sleepily into Adrien's warmth with innocent acceptance.

Chloé blearily eyed the clock by the hoodlight as she went through the motions of making formula on autopilot. Three AM? How had Audrey slept so long? God, Adrien was still here. How had THEY slept so long? Nerves built up as she waited. She had to get him out of here. Friends don't stay the night. Adrien came down with a curled up bundle on his shoulder. He leaned in to pass her off and Chloé accepted the transfer with a newly learned proficiency. It went smoothly until one extra step happened. Adrien put his hand on the small of Chloé's back and kissed her cheek. "Gotta go to the bathroom, be right back Mari."

He was already two steps back down the hall before he froze. Before he could turn back though Chloé spun and actually ducked as she fled into the living room. Audrey fussed at her bottle, and Chloé knew it was her fault. She bit the tip of her tongue, the inside of her cheek, her lip, anything to try and release the tension. She rocked Audrey, hoping to bleed out some of the energy that way. Adrien was slow returning, and when he did he sat in the overstuffed chair silently, his hands folded and his head down.

Eventually the little eyes drooped and the sucking at the bottle stopped. Chloé was still functional enough to carry her daughter back to bed and settle her in. When she returned Adrien was setting her scattered tablet back in her spot on the couch. He straightened awkwardly, looking at her in the gloom. Chloé leaned in the mouth of the hallway, folding her arms and whispering in her head that she should have expected all this. That it was only life being life, that anything else was just her being delusional. She blamed three AM for water creeping into her eyes.

Adrien stepped closer and she retreated a step. "Chloé we need to talk."

She shook her head, trying to disguise a sniffle as she did. She pushed off the wall. "Whatever for? A silly little mistake? Don't think twice about it. I do think we should call it a night though."

Adrien paused. He reached down and picked up his tablet, turning it over in his hands. "How about: I need to talk."

To that she nodded. How could she not? It was Adrien. "Bring the monitor."

Back in the kitchen She got herself another glass of Juice. Adrien had his phone out. He gave her a wane smile,"I'm ordering that doordash. You want anything? My treat."

In answer Chloé went back to the refrigerator. She stood on tiptoes to get to the small cabinet above it and brought down a mostly empty jar. Before his confused look she poured the contents onto the counter between them. Ten little aluminum coins rolled, some skimming off the edge others falling flat. "I get my next one in two weeks." she explained.

Adrien picked up one, squinting at it in the half light then his eyes widened. "I didn't know."

Chloé gave him a wide ragged grin,"Of course not. I didn't tell you did I?" They were back on her litany of faults, familiar turf. Grinding herself into the ground made everything else feel better.

"Should I not?" he nodded to the phone.

"Oh go on. It's my problem not yours. If your problems tell you you need a drink, have one." She scooped up one of the coins and spun it, watching it slowly wobble back to flat while Adrien tapped out his order.

He put his phone down and rolled the coin he had picked up back across the table to her. His expression was all questions.

"Oh I'm not my mother. Don't fret." Chloé rested her chin on her hands. "Well, not yet at least. I had myself a very regular schedule of nerve settling sips starting at noon. I didn't get roaring drunk, but stopping still made me want to curl up and die for a bit. That or it was morning sickness." She shrugged. It had happened to ten-month-ago Chloé. Anything that happened to past Chloé didn't count, it was barely connected to her most of the time.

Adrien was giving her that look again, like she had destroyed something precious. She looked away. "Is it your turn, or are we waiting for your liquid courage to arrive first?"

At least he was honest. "I wouldn't mind waiting." He pulled his phone out again and a glance told her he was on a texting screen.

Chloé decided to torture herself a little. "They should be up by now. They? She?" She paused and mused jokingly, "He?"

Adrien stuffed his phone away as if caught. He leaned his elbows on the counter,"Look, Chloé it's-" he sighed and let his face fall into his hands.

"See, this is the problem, Adrien. You're such a good boy. If only you were horrible regularly you'd be used to this sort of thing by now. Self loathing is so much easier once you get a knack for it." Chloé grinned up at him from her sprawled posture.

Adrien exhaled half-chuckle and raised his head again. "Well, lately you're the only person I've been able to get even this close to talking to about all this, so you can't be all bad."

Chloé executed a prone flourish as if bowing. "I live to please."

They lapsed into a mutually contemplative silence. For Chloé it was an internal listing of all the ways she wasn't fit to have Audrey, with some self-torture visualizing Marinette and Adrien making a baby just for spice. When Adrien's phone buzzed and he headed out to pick up his order the motion pulled her out of a wonderfully dark place back into a world not much better and entirely out of her control.

Adrien returned with a large red plastic cup with a makeshift lid taped down on it. He held it up dubiously. "I guess they don't do a lot of take out."

Chloé grinned, "That is just the perfect amount of class for tonight. Now chug and vomit your poison right out."

"That was almost profound, Bacchean even."

Chloé levered herself up to sitting position. Time to pay attention. She took a sip of her juice. "Wasn't he a composer?"

Adrien raised his own cup in toast then quite literally followed her advice, downing whatever he had ordered in a sustained series of gulps before squeezing the plastic up to ruin in his hand and letting it flop onto the counter. His display was ruined by the sudden sharp flinch and exhale into his hand. Adrien shook his head and worked his mouth a few times as his body tried to deal with it.

Chloé smirked,"Lightweight."

"Been a while since I hit a Black Russian." he countered and Chloé gave him a begrudging tilt of her head in acknowledgement. Adrien folded his hands on the counter and began. "So, I've hardly been back to Paris for most of the last two years."

"Got you beat by ten."

"How many kids do you have back there?"

"None that I know of."

"Jesus Choe." Adrien stifled a small laugh. "This isn't fucking funny."

"No, but hearing you curse is."

"Stop!" he was fighting a smile off his face. Adrien took a deep breath that ended ragged with emotion and Chloé hushed. "I don't know what happened. Everything started out picture perfect. I mean, with Marinette not the rest." Adrien shrugged. "Dad, Felix, and Aunt Amille were their own thing. But Mari, there was nothing wrong there. Move in together right out of school, have a beautiful daughter. That's storybook material right there." He raised his eyes to Chloé's.

She pushed her juice across the table and got up. Adrien's questioning look followed her as she went back to the refrigerator. This time she scrambled up onto the counter before opening the cupboard. She knew how stupid she must look, that was a part of the deterrent. Chloé scrambled for the back of the upper cabinet and just managed to catch her prize. She tossed it to Adrien and scrambled back down. By the time she got back to her seat he'd poured the airline bottle of Vodka into her cup and that look was back.

"For emergencies. This seemed like one."

"Thanks." Adrien lifted the cup and took a drink then slid it back across the counter.

With more conviction than she felt Chloé pushed it back without drinking. "I've got to get my purple coin don't I?"

Adrien smiled. He held the mug but didn't drink again, his eyes just drifted down to the surface as the smile slipped away. "I don't know where it went wrong. I ran my projects from home. Then I just had this urge to go out and oversee one, kind of an itch. I came back and everything seemed fine, but then I started planning my next project. I left and felt guilty this time. I cut my project short and got home fast." Adrien turned the mug, lifted it, but didn't drink. He set it back down. "It didn't last. That itch … itch isn't the right word but it's all I've got. It came back and I had to go. I felt guilty even before I left this time. I still left. I felt guilty while I was gone, and it kept me away longer. I returned home to guilt, and a need to escape it again. I took on more work and pushed myself farther and harder. The longer I was away the more it faded. I stretched my time away from home, but it all came flooding back every time I returned. Longer away more guilt, flee to escape and repeat." Adrien shook his head. "I don't get it, I couldn't stop it. I've tried bouncing it off people who knew us but it always comes back 'You're just going through a time, It'll work out. Seven year itch, it's just nerves. You two are made for each other, you'll pull through. But there was no pulling through. It only got worse."

"God, you're fucked up."

His head snapped up so fast, those sweet green so eyes full of pain, anger, and frustration.

Chloé stared right back into them, and laughed brokenly. He joined her after a moment, but his died quickly into a look that had bled away some of its immediate pain but still had all of its questions.

Chloé reached out for the mug, just to wet her dry lips, but curled her fingers just short of the handle and drew her hand back. "You still love her?"

"You have no idea." Adrien shook his head, but not in negation. "More than anything." His gaze dropped again. "If I go back, I bring all this baggage with me, and if I stay I'm miserable there though and bring that right to her. It would be different if I knew *why* this was happening. We can fight anything together, but this is fighting myself."

You're right, I have no idea. Chloé was glad he wasn't looking at her. She straightened up, pushing her arms off the counter and used the monitor as an excuse to buy time. It was so wonderful to be thought of because you weren't a friend of the family. "You have a kid back there too."

"Emma, she's wonderful. I mean she's a nightmare the way all children are, but she's a perfect little nightmare. You'd either love her or hate her. Eight and she already knows how everything works in the world."

Chloé mused. "Little young to be the next Style Queen."

Adrien's tone turned fond and musing. "I've thought about trying to bring her with me, but that would drag her away from School, her mother, and her friends."

"Paris is a big city, you know. You could be there and still be separate."

Adrien took another drink and shook his head. "Not if you're Adrien Ageste it isn't. There's no one who doesn't know us as us, no place where questions won't follow. That's the problem with living a fairy tale. Everyone wants you to have your happy ending and if you don't, they feel cheated."

"Boo hoo." Chloé mumbled. When he shot another hurt look her way she just shrugged this time. "What? Some of us don't even get to be in a fairy tale, or just get to be the wicked step-sister." Chloé leaned back in on her elbows. "You're skimming the bottom of the clouds and complaining to the snake here. Buuuuuut… if I had to say, you need some space."

He didn't answer right away, that let her think he was actually listening to what she was saying, a terrible idea really. "But, I've been taking space. I've been away so much lately. How much is enough? What am I doing to Mari and Emma?"

Chloé speared him with a nail, poking just short of his face,"That is not taking space for yourself, that's just being somewhere else. You're still full of all the things that bother you. You need to leave it all behind for a bit."

Adrien shook his head in disbelief,"Leave my daughter behind?"

Chloé shrugged, "For a bit, yeah. If that's what it takes."

"Would you leave Audrey behind?"

"Adrien, I don't have to. I'm already alone."

That struck home, but it was a damnable double edged sword and she was holding it by the wrong end. Adrien turned the mug again and lifted it to his lips. "Sorry."

Chloé kicked her feet a little on her stool. "Nah, don't be. By now it's my own doing."

Adrien finished off the drink and set the mug back down. "So I just need to chill out and everything will improve?"

Chloé barked a short laugh out. "No, but it'll help you find out what's different, what actually needs work without the noise. After that, then you can try to fix your mess."

He seemed to chew on that for a while. His eyes focused on some point on the counter. Chloé let him stew, wondering at the little detail he hadn't mentioned. It was probably too good to hope. It was definitely too good to hope, but she wanted to hope.

"It's something different than I've heard from others." His eyes lifted to hers, she wished they hadn't.

Chloé shrugged again, and picked up one of her AA coins, scratching at the countertop with the edge of it. "Isn't that why you came here?"

He was looking at her again. Not just looking, but Looking. Adrien didn't know how intense that green eyed stare could be at times. Chloé glanced up just long enough to confirm he was looking then dropped her gaze again. Time ticked by and eventually he let out a soft sound like a sigh. "Yeah, that's why I showed up originally."

Chloé kept scratching, could she make a mark with the soft aluminum on the invincible countertop? Fuck the deposit, she had money. Adrien's hand covered hers and she stopped looking up at him again. If only she could shout, scream at him to stop looking at her like that. She couldn't wake Audrey. What did he want from her? That infuriatingly sincere gaze, he hadn't lost it. And that soft tone when he said, "Thank you."

She didn't have a reply. She looked back at the monitor to cover for her silence, but he wouldn't stop watching her. Was he waiting for something? She had nothing to give. He eventually lifted his hand and sat up sighing. "Either way, I should go back soon. Can't abandon the wife and kid forever."

There it was. That fucking word. He hadn't said it yet, and she'd hoped… What had she hoped? It didn't matter, did it? He hadn't exactly lied to her, but that didn't matter. Logic didn't matter, only how she felt.

"Wife? You're married to her?" Chloé's voice was an incredulous hiss that would have been a shout without a newborn, but it still held all the simmering anger fit for a jilted lover's scorn. Everything she didn't have a claim to. She coupled the accusation with rising from her seat, leaning across the counter to glare her frustration out on him.

"I uh- yes? I mean I figured- How else- We have a-" Adrien sat back as she closed the distance between them, but each protest he started died on his lips as very fast calculations warned him not to finish them. "I- we haven't done anything wrong!" he managed.

"No." she pushed him off his own stool,"No. No. No!" she had to clench her teeth, letting the frustration out wasn't helping, it was only letting it build. It was only making clear how stupid she'd been. She snatched up the mug and hit him with it. Not hard, a limp wristed swat, but she had to do *something* Chloé couldn't yell, couldn't break things, couldn't do anything loud to let this out. She wielded the mug like a weapon between them, backing him out of the kitchen and towards the hallway. "Get out!"

Adrien retreated, voicing confusion in incomplete protests and falling back into simply repeating her name until she had him almost to the door. Then one of his strong hands caught the mug, holding it fast even as she tugged to free her weapon. "Chloé, why does it even matter?"

How could he not get it? God, he probably honestly didn't. He was Adrien Innocent Agreste. He never had to live this way. "I can't have you married, and here… like this." she whimpered, silently begging Audrey not to wake up right now.

Adrien's gaze softened. "No one will think anything of it. You chase me home every night like a proper Lady." he added a smile.

"No! You idiot!" she let the mug go and thumped him in the chest. "*I* can't have you here…" her fist opened, and she let her hand slide down his shirt and fall to her side in defeat,"Like this, and married." She slumped, head down. She would keep it together, she would.

"Chloé." He took her by the shoulders and whispered soothingly. "Even if I wasn't, that doesn't mean…"

He really was so simple at times. How had he put it, a fairy tale life? His innocence was something she could make believe was a flaw, giving her enough strength to raise her head and swimming eyes. "I don't need you to be mine, Adrien. I just need you to not be anyone else's if you're going to be in my life right now. I need to be able to pretend." She raised a hand to pat his arm. "Just, go on Adrien. I hope I helped. Thank you for helping with Audrey."

Instead of letting go he squeezed. "Chloé, listen I-"

"Just, shut up Agreste. Just go okay? Make this whole stupid thing easier. You know I hate looking like a fool."

He let go. Adrien turned, then paused; he pulled the key tag out of his pocket and mumbled, "I need my work tablet."

Chloé choked a sob and it turned into a strangled laugh. Shaking her head she darted back down the hall on her toes and ran back with the tablet. There was an awkward pause. Each held out the other's item in a standoff but neither completed the exchange. Hesitation, movement, hesitation; Chloé reached for her key finally and let the tablet drop into Adrien's other hand.

What should have been a dramatic end turned into mumbled goodbyes. Adrien slipped from a barely opened door and then it closed behind him with a click. Chloé leaned on the polished wood after he was gone, and slid the whole way down to the floor.