Rin's poor alarm clock didn't deserve the abuse endured the following morning. Not only did she accidently knock it from her bedside table to the floor, but instead of reaching down to turn off the obnoxious sound beckoning her awake as she usually ended up doing, even in a mood, she chucked the simple piece of machinery into the wall, the impact frustratingly not enough to silence the monstrosity.

'Ugh…!' Rin groaned audibly, stumbling out of bed and stomping over to the still ringing alarm clock. She lifted it up with both hands and held it close to her irritated face, strings of hair blocking small parts of her vision as she turned the thing off, slamming it on the table from whence it came before she flopped back into bed, reuniting with the stuffed lion she held tight to her chest every night. Rin pulled the covers back over her head and let out another sound of annoyance.

I don't want to do it. Not today.

They had become fewer and further between, to Rin's credit, but there were some mornings where she struggled to find the motivation to even begin the day. She felt drained the second she awoke, and the thought of putting on a farce for everyone but herself and, on rare occasions, Sakura, was simply too much. She found little joy in things that used to inspire her, and all the ambition she once prided herself with was lost. The fact she still hadn't heard from the Mage's Association concerned her to a certain degree as well, although the fact she was now officially in charge of her own finances and everything related to the Tohsaka name was liberating, at least. But even a large fortune and total control of her life as she knew it didn't push Rin out of bed some mornings when it would have been much more than enough back before the war.

This might be depression. Rin could recognize that much. She thought herself a stronger individual than what she presented to the mirrors in her manor now, but as the months passed her by, Rin was getting closer and closer to seeking help of some kind lest there was a more progressive notion of mental improvement. However, even the idea of a professional opinion scared her, because the particularities of her circumstances couldn't be expressed fully unless she went through the Mage's Association. That meant confronting a potential failure in the Grail War, which Rin wasn't certain she was ready for either. If she couldn't claim victory in the fifth Holy Grail War, then the idea of losing Arturia was somehow that much more difficult to accept. If Rin's wish of bringing Sakura happiness hadn't gone through (and even that was slightly questionable) the Tohsaka heir was certain Arturia's disappearance would have hit her even harder…if that was possible.

Rin clutched the plush lion tighter, feeling the artificial fur brushing between her fingers pleasantly.

She would just skip. She would call in sick. She had that authority now. Exceptions were made for her loss of Kirei, thankfully, and due to Rin turning eighteen sooner rather than later, she had been granted special permission to look after herself going forward. Considering her reputation and ties with who she assumed to be fairly important individuals in the Mage's Association, she wasn't surprised by this turn of events. So, why not take advantage of her new sense of adulthood? A mental health day was important too, wasn't it? Better to manage her psychological deterioration rather than wait for it to shatter entirely.

Rin grit her teeth in frustration.

As if I could do that.

The spectre of Arturia was also frequently a great motivator for Rin. As she tore herself out of bed and forced her body to the washroom to begin cleaning up for the day, her memories of her king reminded Rin that the woman who had deemed her worthy of her love was also a woman who didn't back down from a fight no matter the odds. Even if Arturia knew it was a losing battle, she would face any opponent if it meant not compromising her pride and honour.

Thus, Rin prepared for the day after an internal conflict nearly lost. She ate a small breakfast, cleaned her teeth, washed her face, changed into her school's uniform, and sat down before her vanity desk within her room to prepare to brush her hair. However, she hesitated staring at her reflection, picturing Arturia behind her as she had been during one of their first truly intimate moments; Arturia's strong hands upon Rin's shoulders and arms. Rin could hardly remember what it felt like to be touched like that anymore. Her precious memories were beginning to be fragmented. It was soul crushing.

The doorbell rang and Rin jumped, hastily finishing her hair and making her way to the front entrance of her manor. She peeked through the door to see who could possibly be demanding her attention this early in the morning and was relieved to see it was only Sakura. Without missing another beat, Rin unlocked her manor's front door, greeting her sister with as much elegance as she could muster, given her state of mind.

'Sakura. Good morning. I wasn't expecting you.'

'Surprise.' Sakura shrugged with a small smile. 'I was worried about you. I wanted to make sure you were okay and thought some company on the way to school might be nice.'

Initially, Rin wasn't completely enthusiastic about the idea, but considering Sakura was the only family she had left, and the only person she could really talk to, should she desire it, Rin decided this was a gesture worth appreciating, and offered for her sister to come in.

'You're right. Company would be pleasant this morning. Thank-you.'

'Good.' Sakura breathed out, as if she had been nervous Rin would refuse.

As much as a form of reconciliation had been reached between the sisters, Rin was also aware of the slight tension that still existed for the two of them now that the war was over and the shared goal of bringing Shirou back had been achieved. Years of pain couldn't be completely healed so easily. A sleepover or two wouldn't neatly repair the hurt. Active attempts to find the closeness Rin and Sakura once had were necessary; and due to Rin's own issues as of late, she would shoulder the blame for the lack of progress.

'I was just about to head out, so, your timing is perfect.' Rin ensured she had the pictures of Arturia and her father packed in her schoolbag before returning to Sakura in the front hall of her manor. 'Did Emiya-kun come with you?'

'Shirou didn't, no. I thought we could have some time with…just the two of us.'

'Shirou-kun. Right.' Rin put on her shoes, tapping her toe against the ground twice before pushing some hair from her face and meeting Sakura's gaze. Without Shirou at her side, she seemed more like her old self from just before the war. It was difficult to see, and activated Rin's protective, sisterly persona. 'Well, that actually works for me. You and I don't have enough alone time.'

Sakura's face lit up, and Rin enjoyed the sight.

'Yes. I think so, too.'

The idea of being distracted from her self-destructive thoughts was a pleasant one, and Rin decided it best to lean into the scenario presented to her. She locked up the manor after allowing herself and Sakura out, and began her trip to school, finding the concept of not being alone during her trek, especially on today, when her emotional state was in question, incredibly beneficial.

'So, how did the confession go?' Sakura started with. She was a good little sister, ever careful not to pry too deeply perhaps because she knew how defensive Rin could get with her real feelings. Ever since the war ended, they had only barely discussed the loss of Arturia once, and after that, Rin had attempted to project the idea that she was fine and moving forward with her life adequately. She had a feeling Sakura knew that her older sister's seeming bravado was an act, but she continued to play her role as a support almost too well. Sometimes Rin caught herself wishing Sakura was a bit more assertive, because she was likely the only one that could get the truth out of Rin, and maybe that was exactly what she needed to begin moving on properly.

'It was fine, I suppose.' Rin sighed. 'He was nice enough and, honestly, I'm sure he'll have no issue winning over any other girl.'

'Oh? I'm surprised.'

'How so?'

'I just thought you'd be a bit meaner about it.'

'Excuse me? What is your image of me exactly, Sakura?'

Sakura laughed, and Rin realized she had been baited quite neatly. Was this Sakura's way of trying to help her older sister? How kind. Too kind. Rin didn't really feel worthy.

'You've been so…off since the new school year started, and I was worried maybe you'd take out your frustrations on him or something.'

'Hardly. He doesn't deserve my wrath.'

'Scary.'

Both girls laughed again, and Rin shook her head, glancing to Sakura at her side.

'I'm sorry. I don't mean to be "off". Is it so obvious?'

'No. I just know you a bit better than most.'

'You know me a lot better than most, Sakura. Better than anyone at this point, really.'

A beat, and Rin's heart sped up. She mentally dared Sakura, not sure she was ready for the confrontation but part of her wanting it as much as she didn't. She wanted her little sister to decide. For once, Rin depended on Sakura to possibly move forward. Surprisingly, despite her asking the question quietly, Sakura didn't disappoint her older sister in the least.

'But not better than Arturia…right?'

It sent a wave of anxiety through Rin, but she couldn't say she disliked the feeling, for it was the jolt she knew was a necessary evil if she was ever to step away from the cloud of despair that followed her everywhere she went as of late.

'No.' Rin admitted. 'She was…'

Damn it.

Rin was losing her composure in the middle of the street on the way to school. It wouldn't be long until she and Sakura were matching strides with other students from Homurahara Gakuen. She couldn't be seen on the verge of tears. She underestimated how difficult it would be to speak of her king aloud.

Rin breathed out slowly, with only the smallest of shakes in her breath as she did so.

'It's okay.' Sakura soothed calmly, taking her sister's hand and giving it a tight squeeze. 'You don't have to if you don't want to.'

'I know.' Rin felt Sakura begin to pull away from her, likely concerned she was already overstepping her boundaries with the brief touch, but Rin held tight, the sensation of her sister's hand in her own physical proof of those that remained who still cared about her. 'I don't mind, Sakura.'

Sakura made a soft sound of affirmation, giving Rin a supportive grip back.

'What can I do to help? I feel…responsible, honestly.'

'What?' Rin questioned sharply.

'You used your wish to help me when you could have kept her with you instead. I…hate to think you were forced to choose me over her. Rider insists it's not the case, but – '

'She's right.' Rin shook her head, staring hard at Sakura as they proceeded closer to school, the final stretch of sidewalk reached. She felt Sakura hesitate again, considerate of the unlikely scene the two girls created, but Rin didn't care. Not anymore. She let her own hesitations and doubts ruin too many years as it was. She held tight to her sister. 'Arturia and I discussed it extensively. We both decided it wasn't the best use of the Grail. She had her own desires as well. She had her own life to lead when she returned to her time. Unlike the other servants, Arturia was technically still alive, apparently, which made her situation much more complicated than, say, Rider's, I'm assuming.'

'I see…' Sakura exhaled with obvious relief. 'That's good. But still…'

'I don't regret how I used the Grail. Not even slightly. I just…' Rin closed her eyes for a moment longer than usual as she blinked. 'Despite anticipating the pain to come, I just underestimated how much…I loved her.' Rin's cheeks burned at the admission, and she scowled at showing such a vulnerable side of herself, but Sakura only snuggled in closer.

'I'm sorry, Sister.' She muttered. 'I'm here, okay? I know it's not the same. But I'm here. If you ever need to talk, I'm here. If you don't, that's fine, too. You're not alone anymore though. We're not alone anymore.'

'Exactly.' Rin agreed. 'And thank-you. That…does mean a lot to me. I'll get through this. I will. It's just taking longer than planned.'

'You can't schedule how you feel and when you feel it. Love is tricky like that.'

Rin huffed stubbornly.

'I've discovered as much.'

'And it drives you crazy, doesn't it?'

'Obviously.' Rin groaned, but was glad she had decided to come to school. As she and Sakura approached the gate to Homurahara Gakuen, she even found some relief in seeing Shirou waiting for the two of them, Yukika and Kane keeping him company.

'You both made it.' Shirou grinned, approaching Sakura and Rin.

'Did you think we'd get lost, Emiya-kun?' Rin reverted back to the boy's surname considering the fact others were more present and she simply had no desire to deal with any kind of rumours.

'I guess not.' Shirou conceded. 'Bell is about to go, I think. We should probably head in.'

Rin released Sakura, allowing her to go to her boyfriend and walk at his side.

'We'll talk again later? Dinner soon?' Sakura asked quietly before departing.

'As promised. Yes. Thanks.'

It was a bittersweet moment seeing her sister be so close to Shirou as they approached the entrance to the school. Rin was thankful that Kane was quick to interrupt any further thoughts that had a tendency to deteriorate fairly quickly.

'Good morning, Rin-san.'

'Good morning.'

'You came to school with Matou-san?' Yukika kept her voice quiet as she fell in line with Rin and Kane, Sakura and Shirou taking the lead by a few paces and in their own little world, apparently.

'I've been meaning to ask when you two became so close. Is it because of Emiya-kun?' Kane continued, the sudden barrage of questions reminding Rin of why she actively avoided making waves in any capacity within the school. She lacked the energy, especially today, to navigate the social minefield that was high school politics as gracefully as normally preferred.

'Somewhat. Our families have always been friends, to an extent, and we just found ourselves clicking over the break, I suppose. Emiya-kun is a shared acquaintance as well, so our relationship evolving into a real friendship was inevitable, in a way.'

'Hm.' Kane adjusted her glasses, her more inquisitive nature always a bit troubling for Rin when she was forced to twist the truth. 'Interesting. Matou-san has always been something of a curious girl. Her notable personality change only makes her even more of a mystery. I never would have guessed you two knew one another. You hardly acknowledged her last year.'

Rin inwardly rolled her eyes. Leave it to Kane to remember such annoying details.

'She used to be super shy. Maybe that's why?' Yukika was kind enough to offer.

'I wish it was that simple. There were…complications between our families at the time. I'd prefer to leave it at that. A reconciliation has been reached, which created a less awkward environment for her and I.' Rin attempted to close the subject, and Kane allowed as much, shifting the conversation to something else just before the girls went inside the school.

'And you rejected Okamoto-kun yesterday?'

'Yes.' Rin proceeded to her locker, and Kane followed her, keeping her voice low.

'Apparently he and his friends are not overly pleased. You might want to be careful. I heard some rude comments about you being thrown about this morning.'

Rin grinned.

'Oh?'

'I'll talk to you more at lunch time. Take care, Rin-san.'

'Bye, Rin-san!' Yukika waved, keeping in step with Kane as they went to their own lockers.

Rin hadn't dealt with this sort of aftermath to a rejection before. Interesting. Was Tetsu Okamoto putting on a front with her? Was he really just a rude little boy with too much pride for his own good? Rin was looking forward to hearing more about him and his friends. Why hadn't Kane led with that particular subject of conversation over Sakura's place in Rin's life?

'Have a good day, Rin.' Sakura returned to Rin's side, Shirou's tall presence nearby. 'I just wanted to give you some time with your friends. Was that okay?'

'It's fine.' Rin replaced her outdoor shoes with her indoor ones, tapping her toe to the ground to ensure they were on properly. 'But honestly, I'd like to incorporate you into my group, if possible. Don't be afraid to stay with me during such interactions. I would actually prefer it.'

'Ah.' Sakura nodded, some light pink fluttering over her cheeks. 'Okay.'

'What about me?' Shirou scratched his face with his index finger nervously.

'Every so often wouldn't hurt, I suppose.' Rin gave Shirou a devilish grin, and he laughed in good humour.

'Fair enough.'

Rin, Shirou, and Sakura parted ways once again before Rin began making her trek to the third floor of the school's building. It was hard not to think about the glyphs that had once been hidden around and within the building during the war every time she traversed the halls, the early stages of the battle royale feeling so distant now. The clean up of that particular incident must have been challenging for the Church and/or Mages Association, considering the damage done to the windows and the interior of the school itself. Rin sighed distantly, not even registering the heightened amount of excitement that passed her by as students moved around her toward their own classrooms.

Once Rin made it to her homeroom, however, she could sense the anticipation in the air, and immediately looked to Kaede, who was sitting on Ayako's desk, her expression bright and passionate as she chatted with her friend and classmate. The hum of the classroom was palpable, and Rin almost winced at how much noise was present the moment she stepped deeper into the space where walls enclosed the sound all around. Once Rin placed her bag at her desk, she immediately went to her friends, resting a hand on her hip and leaning into it as she spoke up.

'Good morning. Is something wrong?'

Ayako shrugged, shifting back into her chair and balancing it on two legs.

'The boys are losing their minds…more so than usual, anyway.'

Kaede leaned in to Rin, lifting a hand to form a faux blockade between her and anyone wishing to listen.

'Apparently our class is getting an exchange student. One of the guys happened to catch a glimpse of her and, well, you can see what's happening.'

Rin could. Not only was there an annoying buzz of voices, whispers, and giggling, but the boys in particular were far livelier than was common for them. Fresh meat was always exciting, Rin would submit, but if any of these individuals thought they had a chance with some kind of foreign beauty, they surely had another thing coming.

'Well, this should be fun to watch, in any case.'

'After your rejection of the Tetsu Okamoto, I'm guessing the entirety of the male race in our school just wants some hope.' Ayako hummed. 'Rumour has it you let him off with quite the line. A few of his friends have been heard saying some nasty stuff. Not around me, lucky for them, but yeah.'

Rin blushed lightly. Thinking back, she had been a bit dramatic with her reasoning for turning Tetsu down. The influence of Arturia on her life made its way into her very vocal rhetoric. Rin didn't mind, really. Just another way she could allow Arturia to live on in her memories.

'Any attention taken from me won't be missed. I'll have to thank this new classmate for the distraction.'

'You really have no interest in dating, do you?' Ayako snapped her chair forward, squinting in Rin's direction. 'Here I am thinking we're in some kind of competition to see who gets a boyfriend first and you could've beaten me a long time ago.'

Rin smirked.

'Are you attempting to convince me you were even trying? And it had to be a "true" feeling of love; not just a passing fancy of any kind.'

Ayako laughed, deciding not to answer. She was popular enough as well, but was insistent on playing into a certain role that made her less appealing to the majority of the boys in the school. Because Rin knew her better than most, she could attest to Ayako's more "girly" side that was contrastingly adorable to how she presented herself.

'I have to wonder what she looks like though.' Kaede brought the discussion back to the main focus of the room. 'Like, is she your stereotypical foreigner with blue eyes and blonde hair, or are we going to get a boring one with brown hair and brown eyes? I wonder what her background is, too.'

'Blonde hair and green eyes wouldn't be a terrible combination either.' Rin had to say it, but she regretted the decision immediately, having resisted the thought that had instantly began tugging at her heart strings the moment she heard the combination of words involving "foreign exchange student". She knew better than to place her hopes into a nearly zero percent chance of success, but her sanity when Arturia was involved consistently fell into question, and Rin's heart finally skipped a beat at the thought realized.

'True.' Ayako grinned. 'Although your blue eyes and brown hair are nice, too.'

'The hint of "foreign" blood has given more of a headache than anything.' Rin muttered.

'Okay! Everyone take your seats and be quiet!' Taiga Fujimura entered the room in a whirlwind of commandment, slapping her papers and books on the podium at the front of class and breathing out as though she were exhausted already. Was she anticipating a rowdy day thanks to the spoken of foreign student? Likely. She had surely dealt with such a scenario once, at least. Rin decided she would try to focus better than the day prior. She really did owe Taiga at least that much.

Once everyone, including Rin, was at their seats, Taiga cleared her throat, glaring around the room as if daring any of the third years to give her a hard time within her slot of teaching.

'Clearly most of you know about her already, so, I won't make her wait in the hall much longer than necessary.' Taiga began, exasperation already leaking into her voice. 'She has ventured to Japan all the way from London as an exchange student, and I expect you all to be on your best behaviour during her stay.' Rin's heart stopped as Taiga looked to the entrance of the classroom, nodding to the individual who had been instructed to wait until Rin's homeroom and English teacher had decided it was appropriate to enter.

The entire classroom went silent in obvious anticipation, even Rin torturing herself with fantastical thoughts that simply weren't to be. How cruel fate could be to tease her with such a scenario that could very well line up with her deepest desires. This girl was even from Britain. It was too much. Rin bit at the insides of her mouth and waited.

The exchange student entered.

There was a universal gasp of delight upon witnessing the new classmate.

Yet, none could understand the deluge of emotion that overwhelmed Rin in that moment.

Her golden hair was tied into a small ponytail, her emerald eyes seemingly reflecting the morning sun. The young woman at the head of the class placed both hands behind her back and spoke with a high-pitched stutter in strongly accented Japanese.

'My name is Lily Pendragon. T-thank-you for having me!'