Trigger warning for heavy depictions of bulimia in Katie's portions.
POVs: Katie, Dallas, Imogen
In the morning, Katie weighed herself on the scale. When she saw that there was no weight gain from last night, she let out a sigh of relief. After having to dump Jake, she binged on a whole tub of ice cream before throwing it up immediately afterwards.
She was so angry at him violating her privacy by reading her journal but mostly because it scared her what he was going to do with that information. She wanted no one to know about her journey with losing weight. They wouldn't understand, especially Marisol. A sick feeling grew in her gut at the thought of Jake telling Marisol, and knowing him he would.
She could deny it. She could easily claim that Jake was just saying that she was bulimic because he was mad over their breakup. Marisol was perceptive but sometimes she was wrapped in her own little world that she wouldn't think anything of it. Katie got off the scale, feeling much better about at least that scenario. She was a better liar than Marisol, that idea could work.
As she got dressed, she thought about the possibility of Jake telling her family and that problem would be more difficult to solve. With her past issues with eating, they were more likely to believe Jake and send her to a doctor. All of the hard work she had been doing would be destroyed. The thought was enough to send her into a panic.
'Breathe, Katie, breathe,' she tried to tell herself as she noticed she was beginning to hyperventilate. After controlling her breathing, she rested her hands on both sides of her desk. Looking at herself in the mirror, she tried to see if there were any noticeable signs of her journey. There were none. On the outside, she looked the calm, composed grade nine representative and soccer player she was.
Jake finding out about what she was doing was an inconvenience but it wouldn't matter in the grand scheme of things. There wasn't a problem Katie Matlin couldn't fix.
Dallas strolled into school looking for his girlfriend. She was at her locker applying lip gloss on her lips as usual. He hoped it was lemon flavored as he liked the taste of it on her lips.
After a week of dating, they haven't gotten really hot and heavy yet but he hoped it was soon. Even though she denied the rumors of having a train ran on her in seventh grade, she looked like the kind of girl to easily give it up. He would just have to seduce her with sweet words and nice dates.
"Morning beautiful," he greeted as she closed the locker.
"Hey," she greeted back as they shared a quick kiss. She was wearing lemon flavored lip gloss just as he hoped. He rested his hand over her hips, squeezing them.
"I was thinking we could go to the Ravine after school and hang out," he offered. She stiffened under his touch.
"I would rather not," she firmly rejected.
"Why not? There's plenty of spots we could have to ourselves as a couple," he said as he leaned into her ear, "To do all kinds of fun things together."
"I have bad memories there," she replied flatly.
"Of what? That date with Drew? It's not that deep unless the rumors of you whoring out to five older guys afterwards were true," he argued.
He knew he had said the wrong thing.
Marisol shoved him away and the look in her eyes was murderous but also there was some pain. "Go to hell," she harshly told him before moving past him, shoving past him roughly. Dallas looked at the back of her. If she was getting that mad over his words then the rumors must have had some truth to them. The thought of that made him queasy. The last thing he needed to do was bring a little hoe to meet his mother.
His phone beeped in his pocket, and he picked it up to see another text notification from Vanessa. He groaned as he went to block her number. He didn't even want to read what she sent him. He knew it was about the baby, or specifically her baby. He was going to deny that the baby was his until he had physical proof.
A week later, and the possibility that he knocked a girl up before he even turned fifteen kept him up at night. He wasn't ready to be a father when he had the next four years ahead of him. There was a whole hockey career to have and many puck bunnies to play with. A baby would ruin that, and he wasn't ready to handle being someone else's daddy.
As he headed to his own locker, he passed by the school president, Liberty, and that kid who got stabbed, J.T. They were talking about something and sharing a lighthearted laugh. He heard that as soon as J.T. got out of the hospital, he dumped his girlfriend Mia and got back together with Liberty. Considering that Mia had a kid, getting back together with the girl who didn't have a baby was the smart thing to do. He would do the same.
He walked by the school nursery that was still being built. He quickly moved past it as if he was going to get hit by a giant fireball if he didn't.
Anything baby-related was enough to scare him these days.
Imogen didn't get much sleep last night, mostly because she was worried about her dad somehow burning down the house if she did. Yesterday when she came home from school, there was small smoke coming out of the kitchen. Her father forgot that he was cooking hot dogs and went upstairs to take a bath.
She thought about telling her mother, but she would just assume her dad had something wrong with him and take her away from Degrassi. Imogen wanted to believe that there was nothing wrong with her dad, he was just being forgetful in his increasingly old age. However it did worry her about how rapidly his forgetfulness was increasing over the years. Sometimes he forgot to do the simple things, like showering or getting dressed. Other times, he would forget to do things that would have more dangerous consequences, like forgetting to turn the burner off on the stove…
"Immy, we got band practice after school today, right?" She heard Gracie ask her, snapping her out of her thoughts. She turned around to see her new friend leaning on the locker next to hers.
"Um…yeah," she replied a little absentmindedly. Gracie's face shifted in concern.
"You okay?" She asked her.
"Definitely! Never been better!" Imogen claimed with fake cheer in her voice. "We're going to have the best band in Degrassi history!"
"I hope so. I need to prove to my mom that being in this band is a better extracurricular activity instead of something boring, like the junior choir," Gracie replied with a dramatic shudder.
"Well anything with friends is going to be a wonderful experience!" Imogen claimed as her and Gracie began to walk. Her mother had always wanted her to make female friends and that had been a struggle over the years to say the least. Majority of the female population at Degrassi found her to be a freak, and only now did she no longer had to deal with snide remarks from the most popular girl of them all (at least in grade nine), Marisol Lewis. However, since last year she has had Gracie as a friend and it has been pretty great to finally have a girl best friend.
Even if Gracie behaved more like a boy than a girl.
"If only our band had a name," Gracie mused. "All of the best bands have cool names."
Imogen had thought about that and she asked Mo a few times about what he could name their band, but he didn't have any good suggestions. Eli (who she wasn't exactly enthused about working with but was willing to be civil about it), didn't have any ideas either about what they could name themselves. So it was up to her to come up with something.
She thought about their reputations in the school. Mo was unpopular because he was fat and small minded people made fun of him for it. Eli was an emo kid who dressed in all black nearly all of the time which caused a lot of kids to stay away from him. Gracie was a tomboy so a lot of girls made fun of her for it. As for herself, she was considered the school weirdo for her eccentric taste in style and her silly personality. So what did that make them?
Outcasts.
"I think I have a name for our totally awesome band, my dear," Imogen replied with an excited smile as she hooked her arm around Gracie's. Gracie gave her a curious look as they walked down the halls together.
Katie recorded what went down last night in her journal and tried not to feel guilty about dumping Jake, even if he did deserve it. Even if she wasn't looking, she could feel his eyes on her. It unnerved her.
Just as she wrote down the last word of the day, the school counselor Ms. Sauvé walked into the classroom while the math teacher was writing notes on the board. "Can I see Katlynn for a bit?" She asked the teacher, making Katie feel on edge and not just because of the use of her full name. For the first time ever, she hoped the math teacher would say no.
"Is it important?" The teacher asked.
"Very. She needs to leave the class now," Ms. Sauvé insisted and Katie felt her stomach drop in fear.
"Alright Katie, go with Ms. Sauvé," her teacher ordered, and she actually felt sick as she got out of her seat. She could feel a million eyes judging her as she followed Ms. Sauvé out of the classroom. A million eyes that wouldn't understand her if they knew what she was resorting to to keep up her calorie intake.
When they got to Ms. Sauvé's office, something even worse was waiting for her. Both of her parents were sitting in the office with concerned looks on their faces.
"Have a seat, Katlynn next to your mother," Ms. Sauvé directed and the urge to start running ran rampant in Katie's mind. She sat down and felt like the chair was on fire.
"Your boyfriend Jake has told me some troubling things about you. That you throw up at lunch every day, that you're frequently dizzy, and that your breath smelled of vomit the other day and that you keep a journal recording your calorie intake and weight loss. Katlynn these are all signs of bulimia, a very serious eating disorder," Ms. Sauvé explained.
"Jake is lying on me because I broke up with him and he decided to come up with this stupid thing. I'm not bulimic, okay? Mom, Dad, you have to believe me!" Katie replied, looking at her parents pleadingly. Her dad shook his head.
"I'm sorry, sugarplum but you had these issues with eating before and we can't take any chances. We're taking you out of school for the day to see a doctor," her father replied regretfully.
Tears welled up in Katie's eyes. All of her hard work since the beginning of the school year was about to go to waste.
It was a vigorous but fun day of gym class today. They did volleyball, and despite Dallas finding it a weak sport he and Drew dominated against their other classmates.
Wiping the sweat off of his face, Dallas stepped out of the shower and began putting his clothes back on. Drew stepped out of the shower stall next to him and playfully slapped his shoulder. "Great game, man. We killed those other guys," he said.
"Yeah, hopefully I get a reward from Marisol tonight," he replied with a smirk.
"Isn't she like really pissed at you for that remark you made earlier about her whoring out to those five guys at the Ravine?" Drew asked.
"She'll get over it when I pay for her food," Dallas reasoned with a shrug, "That is, if it isn't true."
"It's not true. I was there that night, I told you," Drew replied.
"Then what really happened? I'm getting tired of all these conflicting statements," Dallas demanded.
"It's not my place to say," Drew answered and Dallas raised an eyebrow.
"The fuck you mean by that?"
"What I saw happen that night is something that Marisol would only tell you when she feels completely safe enough to. But I don't feel really comfortable discussing it. And I'll leave it at that," his friend explained. Dallas shook his head.
"Whatever. Dealing with girls can be such a pain in the ass sometimes. Scratch that, most of the time," he replied.
"I assume for you it is most of the time considering that Vanessa girl you're dealing with. Is she still stalking you?" Drew asked.
"Pfft, yeah. I just blocked her number today. I might have to get a restraining order from her crazy ass," Dallas answered. "Hopefully, that'll be the end of it."
"Well it might not be from what I'm hearing," Julian, one of their friends piped in as he wrapped a towel around his body, "I'm messing with this girl from North Tech and she says it's all over the school that you knocked Vanessa up."
Drew sent him a confused look but Dallas didn't pay attention. Instead, he could literally feel the color leaving his face.
'Shit,' was his only main thought.
When Imogen came home from school, the last thing she expected was a Bloodhound puppy running up to her and jumping on her leg. "Woah, friend! Where did you come from?" She asked in confusion as she reached down and petted the puppy. It barked and jumped up some more. The only rational thing to do was to pick it up. Imogen held up the dog to her face, observing it.
Her dad came around the corner and also had a look of confusion on his face. "Imogen, where did that puppy come from? Are you bringing random animals into our home again?" He questioned. When she was little, she had a habit of bringing random animals around the neighborhood into the house as her new pets such as cats, squirrels, raccoons, and spiders. She even tried to make her own ant farm. Needless to say, her parents weren't exactly pleased during that phase and on one occasion she even had to get a rabies shot. But that wasn't the case here.
"This puppy was here when I walked through the door a few minutes ago, dad," she pointed out as the puppy licked her face.
Her dad didn't say anything for a moment, he just stared in utter bewilderment. Then something clicked in his mind. "Oh! Yes! You see, I am very happy with your report card so I bought you a gift I knew you would enjoy. Her name is Volta and she's only a few months old but I know you'll take excellent care of her!" Her dad explained.
Imogen didn't have much time to ponder how the hell could her dad forget something that easily before Volta licked her face again. Instead, she tried to focus on her new friend that was obviously very excited to meet her. She shared a sweet smile with the puppy.
Volta barked once more in response and it was the most adorable thing.
Later that night, Katie was laying in a hospital bed feeling incredibly numb. The visit to the doctor's office proved to be quite disastrous. He weighed her, took her blood pressure, and read her heart rate and all three were declared to be at dangerously low levels. She had lost an unhealthy amount of pounds within two months, and her blood pressure along with her heart rate were unstable as a result. Her condition required immediate hospitalization.
The pain was clear in both of her parents' eyes as they drove her to the hospital, and in their faces when they read her journal. Instead of feeling sympathy, Katie felt angry. Neither of them understood how necessary this was for her to stay healthy, for her body to remain pure. They just wanted to stop her from reaching her full potential. Everyone did from her parents, to Jake, to even Marisol. She was surrounded by poisonous people.
She was staring at the wall, as that was basically the only thing she could do right now, when a nurse came in with a feeding tube. It was time for her "dinner". Katie laid back, feeling helpless as the nurse inserted the tube through her nose and into her stomach. She wanted to scream, to fight but she couldn't. Even if she kicked the nurse into unconsciousness, she wouldn't make it far off the floor before security dragged her back.
She had never felt this powerless in her life.
Dallas was very nervous to come to school the next day after what Julian told him. If it was all over the other school that Vanessa was pregnant by him then it would only be a matter of time before the news reached Degrassi…
"Dallas," Marisol's voice called out to him and he felt his heart rate go up. She was absolutely the last person he wanted to see right now. He avoided her all of yesterday. As he watched her approach him, he struggled to come up with how he was going to go about this.
"I heard some interesting things during Spirit Squad practice yesterday from girls whose boyfriends go to Northern Tech. That some girl is claiming she's pregnant by you," she said with narrowed eyes.
"I don't know what you're talking about, Mare and I'd rather not talk about dumbass rumors," he replied firmly.
"She's apparently already talked with you about it. So during our whole first week of dating, when were you going to tell me this?" She demanded. He groaned as he folded his arms.
"Look, baby. Vanessa is a lying ass hoe that's obsessed with me, it would be stupid to believe anything that's coming out of her mouth," he assured. She pursed her lips.
"Regardless, until you get this whole situation sorted out, I don't want to deal with a guy with baby drama. I have enough shit to worry about so I think we shouldn't be together at the moment," Marisol replied in a cold voice.
"Really? You're going to break up with me over rumors from another school? Wow, you really are petty," he said while shaking his head.
"Not petty, smart. I'm fourteen and the last thing I need to deal with is my boyfriend possibly having a baby. I'm sorry Dallas," she said before turning on her heels and beginning to walk away.
"Well the last thing I need to deal with at fourteen is dating the school pass-around so you're actually doing me a favor. Knowing your reputation, you're probably going to be macking on some other guy by next week since you change boys like you change panties," he replied snidely.
Marisol stopped walking in her tracks. She slowly turned around to face him and her face was full of stone.
"For that girl's sake, I hope the baby isn't yours. Because I would hate to have a total scumbag like you as my child's father," she declared flatly before turning back around and walking away.
Dallas had to admit that the remark cut deep in him, but he tried not to let that show as he glared at the back of his now ex-girlfriend.
"Your dad seriously got you a puppy and then forgot about it?" Mo asked her as they walked down to the cafeteria for lunch.
"Yeah, I don't know what's up with him these days but I already love my new furry friend!" Imogen tried to reply as cheerfully as she could.
"Are you sure your dad doesn't have dementia or something?" He seriously questioned her. She stopped and looked at him.
"Why would you even suggest that? Just because my dad forgets a few things doesn't mean it's anything serious," she sharply answered.
"Well Im, your old man is only in his fifties yet has the memory of my ninety year old great granddad," Mo pointed out in his usual blunt manner, "That's not normal."
"There's nothing wrong with him, okay? He's just a little absent-minded, he's always been like that. He forgot his wedding anniversary more than a few times," Imogen argued as they got in the lunch line together.
"Whatever you say, sweetheart. I just hope you don't get pulled out of school early one day because he managed to burn the house down while you were gone," Mo replied as he picked up a turkey sandwich for himself.
Imogen said nothing as she got herself a pizza and fries. She wanted to argue some more, but she didn't have the energy to. Because deep down, she knew Mo was right.
She also had a bad feeling about where things could go next with her dad.
During her first full day in the hospital, Katie had already felt that time was a lost concept. There was only one meager clock on the whole floor and it was behind the front desk so she could barely see it. The only way to gauge the passage of time was when Marisol came up to visit her. Her friend had arrived with a teddy bear and some sweets, but she also had a look of worry on her face.
"I didn't know why you would be in the hospital at first, but Jake told me why. And then I confirmed it with your mom and dad," Marisol began as she sat across from her and folded her arms on the table, "Katie, I can't even begin to express how scared I am for you right now."
"Why? Shouldn't you be wrapped up in Dallas?" Katie asked somewhat caustically.
"It's for the best that we aren't together right now," her "best friend" replied, and the tone in her voice left no room for further explanation.
"Well, there's no need to worry about me anymore now that I'm in here against my will. I'm constantly monitored every waking minute, I have to take the worst medication, I have to have my vitals taken every day, and I'm forced to have a feeding tube shoved into my nose during mealtimes. That's what everyone wanted for me, right?" Katie asked bitterly. Marisol bit her lip.
"No one wanted this for you, Katiekins. But your eating habits haven't been good the past few years and it led to this," she replied.
"You're judging me on my eating habits when you eat like a fat pig with no self restraint?" Katie asked. Then her face darkened. "Then again, why would you worry about gaining calories when you're so perfect."
"Katie…," Marisol began, and Katie could see that her best friend was uncomfortable. But she was just getting started.
"You get to eat all you want and not gain a single pound while getting all of the attention from boys. You don't even have to work hard like I do to keep a fit body while doing your stupid cheerleading. I guess there is nothing for you to worry when the universe seems dedicated to making your life good at the expense of mine when I have way more to offer than you," she sneered.
"You don't mean that, you're just saying that because you're sick," Marisol argued with a tight voice.
"But I do mean that. You're probably glad I'm in the hospital. Even worse, you probably encouraged Jake to tell Ms. Sauvé to get this whole plan going in the first place so you could get back together with him," Katie accused.
Marisol said nothing at first. Then she slowly got up while grabbing her bag.
"The only reason why I'm still going to be your friend after what you just said to me is because you're sick and you don't really mean what you're saying. But I'm not going to sit here and allow you to just accuse me of all these things. Have a good night, Katlynn ," Marisol replied with tears in her eyes before leaving. Katie watched her go with not a single amount of regret.
The only thing she could feel was anger at everyone in the world.
Dallas sat at a table at The Dot by himself, thinking about how his day could get any worse. The answer to that question came quickly as the bell on the front door rang and Vanessa came in. They made eye contact and she immediately came over to him. He didn't even have energy to tell her to fuck off. He was just tired.
"What do you want now?" He questioned wearily.
"You know what I want, Dallas. I want you to accept the fact that the baby is yours," Vanessa answered flatly.
"And what if I do? How are two grade niners going to raise a baby together? The best thing you could do is give the kid up for adoption," he replied. He would be an awful dad. He just knew.
"I'm not giving up this baby no matter how hard it gets. And I don't want you to give up either when the baby isn't even here. All I ask is for your support," she insisted.
"I'll have to get a job after school, Vanessa, and I don't know how that's going to fit with my athletic schedule," he pointed out.
"Well you're going to have to figure out something. You have six months," she warned him just as his waiter brought him a basket of wings.
Dallas didn't find the wings so appetizing anymore.
Imogen was sleeping in her bed later that night when Volta came barking frantically into her room. The dog jumped on top of her in the bed, and she woke up startled.
She was about to ask her puppy what was wrong when she smelled smoke. Turning on the lights, she saw dark smoke in the hallways as well. She quickly got off the bed and ran into the hallways to look downstairs, coughing along the way.
There was a fire growing in the living room.
Panicking, she picked up Volta in her arms and ran to her dad's bedroom, trying not to inhale the smoke. With her free arm, she knocked loudly on the door. "Dad, DAD!" She called. "There's a fire downstairs!"
Her father opened the door up, only wearing a dark red robe. "A fire, but how?" He questioned.
"We have to get out of here!" She shouted before running to the steps. Her dad quickly followed her as she ran downstairs. Without her glasses, her vision was incredibly blurry, and it was even made worse by the smoke. The fire was blazing, and both the tv and tables were up in flames.
The handle on the front door was hot as she opened it and ran outside. She started hacking and coughing immediately, nearly dropping Volta. It was to her horror that she realized that she left her cellphone inside the house so she wouldn't be able to call the fire department.
"I must have forgotten to turn the oven off after dinner," her dad said with a tremble and it was that statement that made her stomach drop.
If it wasn't for Volta, she would have been burned alive in her bed due to some overcooked chicken parmesan.