In a Heart Beat

Author: Juliana Alves

Category: Major Crimes, Shandy, Romance, Angst, Drama

Warnings: Spoiler Season 6 (Rewriting the season)

Classification: M

Chapters: 15

Complete: [x] Yes [ ] No

Summary: Sharon's absence was affecting everyone, but Andy was the most fragile of all. Stroh's danger around them didn't help either, but in the midst of the great tribulation, hope shone.

Disclaimer: All characters in this work belong to the creator of Major Crimes, James Duff. And the TNT broadcaster. This work is not for profit, remaining only in the world of Fanfictions. And a small protest to show that it could have ended otherwise.

A/N: Hi guys, so... I decided to translate my fanfiction that I wrote right after the fateful episode 9 of season 6. I was so sad about Sharon's death and so angry at Duff for killing her that I decided to do my own version of these last episodes of season 6.

I hope you like this and I hope you don't give up after this chapter, I promise things will go better.

Let me know if you like this.

Love you, guys.

Chapter 1

Rusty looked around completely anesthetized, but he could still feel the tears running down his face, he felt Andy's hand squeezing his leg. And most of all he could feel the overwhelming pressure in his chest, as if someone was squeezing his heart harder and harder by the second.

Gradually the ringing in his ears went down and he heard Amy's cry and Tao's sniffles. Provenza was beside Cami, both silent and with tears in their eyes. The boy realized that, just like him, everyone seemed to be rightly lost, Sharon was the glue that held them together and the compass that guided them. And now she is gone.

The doctor was still there, head down and playing with his hands, not sure what to do. And when the minutes dragged on slowly, he turned to leave.

"I want to see her". Andy's choked voice filled the quiet environment and they cringed at the realization of what he asked for.

Rusty looked at him with fear, he wasn't sure about that. Andy almost collapsed just now. The boy did not know if the Lieutenant would have the strength and the heart to see his beloved wife dead.

Rusty looked at him with fear, he wasn't sure about that. Andy almost collapsed just now. The boy didn't know if the Lieutenant would have the strength and the heart to see his beloved wife dead.

"A-Are you sure, Andy?" The blonde had to ask, he had already lost his mother and didn't know if he would resist losing the father figure that Andy became.

"I need to see her".

The doctor was about to protest, he knew the older man's medical condition and anxiety washed over him. However, he knew that denying the visit could be worse.

"I need a few minutes". Dr. Torres babbled. "I will call you".

Andy stated and saw the doctor walk away. The others said nothing, just waited, because no one was prepared to leave. They were a family and, in that moment, they would be the rock that would keep Andy and Rusty steady. And because they are so focused on them were shocked when they saw Patrice enter the waiting room with Emily and Rick.

Emily stared at Rusty for answers, and when the boy lowered his head with tears in his eyes, she knew what had happened.

"No". Her whisper was barely heard, but tears started to wash down her face.

Rick looked confusedly at his brother and looked away at Andy, as if he didn't want to believe the bad news. The Lieutenant then got up, he was still dizzy, but he remembered the promise he had made to Sharon and it was his responsibility to stay strong for the three children. Now your children more than ever.

"How is she?" The twinge of hope was heard in Rick's voice and it was even more painful.

"I'm sorry, Rick". Andy's choked voice made the young man take a step back.

"No- no... mom has to be fine. She was fine, we talked to her today. She said she was fine". Every word was said in pain. Rick didn't want to believe that his rock was gone.

"Rick..." Emily pleaded, she was sobbing now, Rusty was at her side hugging her, but the three needed to be together now.

"No- I... Mom..." The words became totally incoherent and he finally let himself fall apart. Tears and sobs filled the room again and Andy came over and hugged him tight. Both trying to comfort each other.

Emily went over to them and Andy extended an arm to her, who gladly approached. The image made Amy cry again, because a month earlier they embraced in the same way, but it was a happy moment, at Sharon and Andy 's wedding, where she smiled brightly at them. And watching it now was too painful.

As the crying subsided, the doctor came and reported that everything was ready. That they could see her. Provenza stared at his friend and asked silently if he was right about this. And Andy shook his head that he would be fine.

"I wanna go". Rick spoke immediately. Emily stood next to him and Andy knew that he had to take them. Rusty was in doubt, he didn't want to remember her on a hospital bed, but he didn't want to miss the opportunity to say goodbye.

Andy headed for the bedroom and was followed by the youth. When they entered the sterile room, Andy froze, all the strength he had gathered to get there was slowly leaving his body. He wasn't prepared to see her like this.

Rick approached him with a face so scared that reminded him of a 5-year-old boy. Emily and Rusty stayed behind a little while crying silently. Time seemed to crawl slowly as they watched the most important woman in their lives to be still and lifeless.

None of the children dared to get too close, they were afraid to approach and realize that all of this was real, the denial was still beating in their hearts. Seeing this, Andy asked them to leave, he needed to do this alone.

When he was alone, the Lieutenant took a chair and placed beside Sharon's bed. Carefully he took her hand and cringed when he felt the coldness of her fingers, tears started to wet his face again and he couldn't hold back the sobs that shook his body. Andy's mind tried to understand how this happened, how he had so little time to show his love. She never really had the opportunity to become his wife, he failed to show how good he could be as a husband. Andy was sure that this time he could do it right.

But they were at a point of no return, he lost her and hurt like hell. He sent a silent prayer to a God he questions again, that God would receive his beloved wife and help him through it all. Andy was doubting that he would be able to be strong enough for the children.

"Mr. Flynn, it's time to go". The doctor's voice scared him, the other man was beside him with his arm around his shoulders and Andy wanted to know when he came in to support him. "I can't let you collapse here. They need you".

Dr. Torres pointed to the door and Andy looked at the three children who looked completely lost. Affirming that he understood, he stood up and cleared his throat to try to get a little in control. The doctor took a step back and watched the Lieutenant bend down and kiss his wife's lips for the last time.

"I love you, Sharon. I always will. Don't worry, I will take care of our children". With one last kiss on his forehead, he left the room and joined the youth.

Dr. Torres closed the door and took a deep breath, he was still shaking and his eyes were stinging from the unshed tears, his heart ached with all the commotion of the past few hours and he wondered again if that was the right thing to do.

"I hope it's worth it." He whispered when he heard the room door open again.

"Everything will be fine, don't worry". Torres couldn't feel confidence in this man, he was in uniform and the stars were shining on his lapel, but he couldn't find the due respect.

"I hope so, I don't want to be you if something happens to her. Her family is a force to be reckoned with". The doctor wasn't just talking about the husband and the children, he was talking about the whole team. And the man seemed to know that, but he was desperately trying to maintain authority. "Now if you will excuse me, I have work to do. And I hope you will leave".

The man stated and left, but he looked at Commander Raydor one last time, he really hoped everything would work out. The strength of this woman was asleep for a while and he didn't know if he had the courage to face her.

Hours had passed now, each of the team said goodbye and said again that he was sorry. They were all exhausted and Andy thanked them for staying so long. Julio just stated that she was family and they would stay together.

Patrice and Provenza stayed to help with the countless papers that appeared for Andy to sign, and of course they stood firm for the family. When the last page was finally initialed, Provenza turned to him friend.

"You should go home".

"I don't know if I can do it". Andy spoke softly.

"You will have to go at some point, Andy. I don't want to come back here because you collapsed".

"I don't want to leave her alone". Andy tried again. He knew he was being stubborn and irrational, but the pain was stronger than he was.

Patrice, realizing that the conversation would be long, offered to take the younger ones to home and wait there until the older Lieutenant came with Andy. As soon as the small group withdrew, Provenza turned him attention to the desolate man in front of him.

"Andrew, I know it hurts. And I can't begin to imagine what you are feeling. But you need to be strong for those kids. I am here to help you, you know you can vent with me, but we can do that later". Provenza got the voice slightly choked and even though he tried to remain strong, he had lost a friend as well. "She is gone, my friend, and we need to follow the path. This is what she wanted".

"I know, I - I know that you're right. But it hurts so much, it hurts more than anything I ever felt. I keep thinking ... I haven't had enough time. I-". His voice broke in mid-sentence and he started to cry again. Andy stared at his hands where he held Sharon's wedding ring and engagement ring tightly. "I didn't have enough time, Louie, I didn't have time".

Provenza didn't know what to say, just put his hand on his friend's shoulder and tried to stop his own tears. He didn't know what to do, life was unfair and illogical and totally out of control, he had his hands tied.

"I know, but unfortunately, there is nothing we can do. Let's go now! Patrice will start to worry".

They followed the entire car trip without saying anything, both lost in thought. When they arrived at the condo the doorman expressed his regret with a sad look and Andy realized what would happen in the next few days, he was a widower now and this would break his heart.

As soon as he got home, he found Rusty and Rick in the living room, both silent looking out of nowhere. Andy could see Emily on the balcony, she sniffed for a while and Patrice appeared to be in the kitchen.

The urge to cry again gripped Andy's heart, he could see the flowers still scattered around the apartment, Sharon's scent was still lingering in the air, the shoes she wore the day before were still behind the door; and if he opened the closet he knew he would find his cardigan.

"Hey, you guys are here". Patrice appeared in the room with a small smile, but her eyes didn't hide the sadness of the day.

"Yeah, I was thinking we could stay awhile". Provenza looked worriedly at Andy.

But before Patrice could confirm his thoughts, Andy faced them both and took a deep breath.

"No. You can go. We'll be fine. It's going to be difficult, but we'll be fine". Andy tried to smile a little but was unsuccessful.

Emily, who had heard everything, came out and stood beside her stepfather and hugged him around the waist. She could feel him trembling or she was the one who felt that way, she wasn't quite sure now. But at that moment they would cling. Literally.

"We'll be fine, Louie". She whispered and smiled, even though her eyes were red and watery. "If we need anything we have your number".

"Oh yeah... Mom made sure we had your number". Rick spoke with a small smile.

"It seems to be her". Patrice spoke with a smile. "Are you sure we can go?"

"Of course, we'll be fine".

The goodbye was made quickly and Provenza walked over to Rusty and instructed the boy to call if anything got out of hand. When the four found themselves alone, they stared at each other for a moment, not knowing what to do.

"I'm going... I think I'm going to take a shower". Andy spoke and pointed to the bedroom.

Emily nodded and saw her stepfather heading into the master bedroom. She watched the older man stop at the bedroom door and take a deep breath, the hand that held the doorknob was shaky, but he took a step forward and entered. Turning to her brothers, she wondered what their sleeping arrangements would be like, if they could sleep.

"Can you help me here?" Rusty asked Rick. Emily watched the brothers remove the coffee table and place that across the room.

The two boys then went into the bedroom and returned with the mattress from Rusty's bed. They put the mattress in the middle of the room and Rick smiled a little.

"My God, Mom would go crazy if she saw this". The others smiled, but the small joy quickly faded and they found themselves with tears in their eyes.

"Let's get settled, I believe we won't be able to sleep". Emily spoke and tried to swallow the lump in her throat.

"Do you think Andy wants to join us?" Rusty asked a little unsure.

"I will call him". Emily went into her bedroom and knocked on the door.

The young woman waited for the invitation, but didn't hear anything. Then she opened the door slowly and the scene she saw cut her heart. Andy was on the bed crying, hugging Sharon's pillow, and she could see the satin nightgown she normally wore. Emily tried to suppress her tears, but in vain, here her scent was more apparent, the objects around the room seemed to mock them and this made her even more emotional.

"Andy..." Her voice cracked and that made the Lieutenant turn to look at his stepdaughter.

"I'm sorry". He whispered, his voice hoarse with tears.

"Don't feel". She spoke and approached him. "Let's go to the living room, I know you won't be able to sleep. But we will be better together".

He was about to refuse, but her eyes glistened with tears and she looked so lost. He couldn't leave his kids alone, not now that he'd promised to take care of them.

"I'll be there in a minute".

It took just over five minutes, but he finally made it to the living room. And seeing the little mess he stopped in his tracks.

"Kids, if Sharon were here you wouldn't hear the end of this". He pointed to the mattress.

"Nah…she would join us". Rick spoke from his place.

"And make you make popcorn while she and Emis look for some cheesy movie". Rusty smiled as he remembered similar moments.

"You guys are right. She would love that". Andy sat down on the couch and took a deep breath. "She told a story about a certain Christmas Eve, I think you remember, Rick".

"Oh no, Mom told you about the fall?"

"You can be sure she did". Rusty spoke and dropped onto the mattress.

The four began to tell the story with tears in their eyes, but with small smiles on their faces. The pain was still there, searing their hearts and they were far from letting go of that feeling. But for now, they pretended she was late, that she would be here soon. That she would come home.

A week later…

Andy faced the mirror and took a deep breath, here he was, in his best black clothes, about to bury his beloved and he wasn't prepared for that.

Rusty stopped at the bedroom door and stared at him, it had been a week and they weren't ready to say goodbye.

"Are you ready, kid?" He whispered.

"Yes".

"And your siblings?"

"Waiting in the room".

They left side by side, and ignored each other. Emily moved to stand beside Andy and straightened his tie, which was askew. The three men stared at her in surprise, they could see Sharon in every gesture of the younger woman and that made the situation even more difficult.

"We better go or we won't be able to get out of here." Andy cleared his throat and opened a door for them to exit.

As soon as they arrived at the church they froze in place, the church was full of people who loved and respected Sharon Flynn. Andy wasn't prepared for this and felt that he wouldn't be able to make it to the pews near the altar. And seeing the coffin, he felt the world turn a little, Rusty who was beside him held him.

"We did this, Andy. For her. We have to be strong". Andy heard the words and nodded. With small steps they reached the place where the family should be.

Father Stan's words during mass were said with sadness and a choked throat. The feeling of everyone present there was only one: sadness that she had gone so suddenly. When at last the final blessing was said, Sharon's team rose and stood by the coffin, all in uniform and with a sinking heart.

Rick and Rusty separated from Andy and Emily, and placed themselves in front of the coffin. Julio and Tao were right behind, followed by Buzz and Nolan. The six grabbed the straps and walked down the same hallway that months ago had been such a happy day. They were still in a state of denial, but they needed to do this, for Sharon, for the commander who had guided them for the past few years.

As soon as they reached the stairs they were greeted by two rows of police, Mason was at the end of the hallway.

"ATTENTION!" His voice rose and the sound of the cops' boots moving into place echoed.

"SALUTE". And again, the order was met with precision.

All around in their positions watched as the team placed the coffin on the hearse. No one dared to breathe harder as they saw the tears around them.

"LOWER ARMS". They followed the order and waited to be dismissed.

Soon after, everyone dispersed to go to the cemetery where they would gather for the last goodbye.

As Andy and the three children prepared to get into one of the cars designated for the family, Jack Raydor appeared to talk to them.

"Dad? Why are you here?" Emily questioned in surprise.

Rick who was next to Andy felt the Lieutenant tense with the presence of the other man. They knew Jack could make a scene, mostly because they saw the lawyer's drunken eyes.

"I came to pay my respects to your mother". Jack spoke sadly and they saw that in that moment he was being sincere, he looked a little soberer than they thought. "You know, it wasn't because we weren't married anymore that I didn't love her".

"Do you want to go with us?" Rick asked uncertainly, he didn't know if Andy would like that, but the other man was his father and they could see he was suffering too.

"No, I'll go later". He nodded in appreciation. "I just want to say... I'm sorry, Andy. I'm really sorry. And thank you for being the husband I was never to her and for taking care of our children".

"Thanks, Jack". Andy reached out to him in a sign of peace, they could be civilized for the children and especially for the woman they loved. "You can join us if you want."

"I'll be there, don't worry about me. And I'm sorry again". He spoke and walked away.

The four watched Jack leave and looked at each other uncertainly, but they got into the car and headed for the cemetery.

Once they got there, the place seemed even more crowded, the men in blue were waiting with sadness, even those who still saw her as the Wicked Witch of the FID, she was one of them now more than ever.

The priest returned to his post with messages of comfort, Lieutenant Provenza and DDA Hobbs gave a little speech about the great woman who had been Commander Raydor.

Before the coffin came down, Julio and Amy approached with the United States flag and began to bow in salute to the officer on duty. Andy put his arm around Emily's shoulders as she started to cry, in the distance he could hear Mason's orders and homage shots and this time he let the tears fall without restraint.

When at last the triangle of the flag ended, Julio approached Andy and handed him over with tears in his eyes. It was at that moment that they saw the coffin pulleys move and slowly descend into the pit.

Rusty started to cry, the first time they'd actually seen the boy express that kind of emotion. Rick, who also had his face wet with tears, hugged his brother. It was then that they heard a soft singing, someone had started to chant Amazing Grace, and the commotion was even greater. This time no one could hold back the tears.

Sharon Raydor had just left that life.

Don't give up on me yet. To be continued...