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"It's been a long day."
I nodded, my blonde stray locks falling into my face.
"Do you want anything?" Lena asked, slipping off her heels off by the apartment door.
I shook my head. "I should be asking you that," I stated, ridding myself of my own footwear by the couch.
Lena cocked her head curiously.
"It is my apartment. I should be the one to make sure you have everything you need," I pressed, standing there with a hand on my hip.
The brunette sauntered over to me and wrapped her arms around my waist tightly; her fingers toying with the loose layered fabric of my dress. My arms moved to engulf her and revel in our embrace. The sheer fabric of the back of her shirt reminded me just how little clothing was actually between us. I could feel the warmth of her skin creeping onto my fingertips. It would have been so easy for me to rip the shirt in two. But, as much as that thought was a heavy consideration in my mind, I wasn't exactly ready to enact on it…at least not just yet. This new step with Lena, which was likely inevitable, was still new and I had no intentions of rushing anything…regardless of how much I may have wanted to.
"It may be your apartment, that's true," she nodded. "But this is my home, Kara. It's where you are. And home is wherever you exist."
I could feel the tightening in my throat begin once again and the threat of tears stinging my eyes. Dammit. Hadn't I cried enough today?
"And besides, I have everything I need," she paused lifting a hand up and trailing my face with one of her soft fingers. "I have you in my arms. That's all I'll ever need."
The moment she finished her last word, I captured her lips. Immediately, all of the tension in my body left and I melted into her. Lena pulled me into her tightly; our bodies pressed up against each other so closely I could feel her heartbeat against my skin. She kept the kiss slow, relatively innocent, and loving. There was no rush despite an increasing need to feel each other. We had all the time in the world and we both seemed to plan to take our time. Her lips were so soft, so tender… gentle yet firm and purposeful. I could only imagine the texture of her lips against mine without all the heavy lipstick – the thought made me shiver.
I had never been kissed the way Lena kissed me. It went far beyond that of lips touching lips. For a moment, back at the wedding, I thought maybe I was just more affected because Lena was a woman and I had only kissed guys. But the longer I pondered on it, the more I realized that wasn't necessarily the case. I mean, yes, obviously, the physical feeling of a woman up against me, kissing me, was much different than kissing a guy. But that wasn't why I was so affected.
Kissing Lena made me lightheaded. I felt drunk from the moment her lips grazed mine and it was like I had been walking around the last few hours completely intoxicated. And that was because it was Lena. Lena could have probably been a dolphin and I would have been impacted in the same manner. Lena was the only person I had ever felt like I could just be with. She made this heartfelt confession that she wanted to be the person I could unravel with, be the place I could strip myself raw to, but what she didn't realize (and until now I wasn't sure I realized either) is that she already was that person. Looking back, Lena was the only person I didn't feel the need to pretend with – which is one reason I thought it was so difficult when I kept my identity a secret. I only wished to protect her because I couldn't bear the thought of her not existing… of living in a world devoid of her.
After a few moments, she pulled away and I rested my forehead against hers, my breath shallow and my head spinning.
"Why don't we get a shower?" she proposed. Lena's voice was huskier… more breathy than normal and it sent a chill down my spine.
My breath hitched and suddenly, I became increasingly nervous. "Like…to…together?" I asked, hesitantly.
Lena's responding chuckle was the sweetest sound I had ever heard. "That was the idea," she smiled against my lips, her teeth grazing her bottom lip in a tender, very seductive bite. "Come on…" she cooed, grabbing my hand gently and leading the way through the living room and my bedroom and into my ensuite bathroom.
I followed without question or delay, the butterflies in my stomach morphing into bats at the realization of what was going to happen. I knew Lena would never push me to do anything I was uncomfortable with – but I wasn't uncomfortable. Quite the opposite. Being with her, thinking about the possibilities of what was to happen felt like the most natural thing in the world. I was just nervous about what was happening. And honestly, I wasn't even sure that nervous was the correct term. I wasn't anxious. I was anticipatory. Over the years, I had dreams – so many dreams – of being with Lena in all different ways. Dreams of kissing her, of holding her hand, of feeling close to her…and up to this point, reality surpassed my fantasy a hundred times over.
The brunette put the lid of the toilet seat down and gestured for me to sit; I willingly complied as I continued to watch her as she moved about. Lena left the small room for but a moment before coming back with two fresh towels, which she laid on the sink. She reached toward one of the shelves against the wall and grabbed my pack of makeup remover wipes before finally moving to stand before me, nearly straddling my knees.
I swallowed hard. This had been the first moment that I truly appreciated the outfit Lena was wearing. I mean, I had noticed earlier in the day – who couldn't – but I had been so very preoccupied with my own thoughts that I hadn't really taken it all in. In my position, I was eye level with the large, open slit of her top; a large expanse of her freckled chest and the sides of her breasts were clearly visible. I blushed.
"A lot of double-sided tape," she stated with a smirk.
"W…what?" I asked, looking up at her, peeling my eyes away from her intoxicating skin.
The brunette was smiling down at me, holding a wipe in her right hand.
"The top… it's being held in place by a lot of tape. And I mean, a lot of tape," she chuckled.
"Oh… I…um…was wondering," I stammered.
Lena quirked an eyebrow at me in an expression that said, 'I bet you were'.
I felt the intense blush creep along my cheeks, inciting a small chuckle from the brunette.
Lena signaled for me to close my eyes before bringing the wipe up to my face and removing my makeup gently. She started with my right eye, using the wipe to remove all my purple eyeshadow, and then moved to the left eye to do the same. Once she was satisfied, she used the edge of the wipe and pressed it against the tip of my eyelid to rub away the dark purple eyeliner which matched her outfit. When I chose this color, I hadn't expected it to be the same color she was wearing. It was a happy coincidence. Lena refused to show me her outfit beforehand. While I had been emotional all day, it was still hard to take my eyes off her. It would be easy to say that the non-existent neckline showing her perfect porcelain skin is what had made it difficult, but that would have been a lie. Truth was, most days I couldn't take my eyes off her regardless of what she was or wasn't wearing, regardless if she had just woken up or was doing dishes… She had my heart and I never wanted it back.
I heard Lena grab a fresh wipe and immediately felt the cool sensation all over my face as she methodically wiped off the foundation and the blush from my skin. It was such an intimate and caring act – Lena wiping away not only the paint but the evidence of stress from my face as well.
"You're breathtaking," she breathed, as she tossed the used wipe in the trash.
I looked up at her, my eyes soft and vulnerable. They still stung from the several crying jaunts earlier in the day. I could only imagine that they were still tinted red.
"There's my girl," she smiled, trailing her fingers lightly across my jaw.
My eyelids fluttered closed for a moment, reveling in the sensation of feeling the brunette so closely, so intimately, so…sensually. Lena moved her hand from my jaw up to my hair and began to pull the decorations out of my hair. She quickly and expertly removed all of the flowers that were interwoven into the braid atop my head. She set them into a small pile on the bathroom sink counter before locating all of the pins in my locks and gently extracting them. Two long braids fell to opposite sides of my head as she removed key pins. Lena wasted no time in gently undoing them. When she reached the topmost section of each of the braids, she used her long, strong fingers to massage my scalp.
I hummed in response.
"Better?" she asked, her fingers working through my locks, my (now) extremely wavy hair cascading down my shoulders.
I nodded slowly, thoroughly enjoying the feeling of her fingertips rubbing my scalp, the light grazes of her fingernails sending shivers down my spine.
All too soon, her fingers were gone. When I forced my eyes open after taking a steadying breath, I saw Lena reaching for a wipe to remove her own makeup.
"Hey," I called, standing up in the small space between us. The brunette turned to face me. "L…Let me," I offered, reaching for the white damp cloth in her hand.
She smiled widely at me, her dark lipstick heavily contrasting with the brilliance of her smile.
Lena leaned back against the sink as I stepped into her space, her hands gripped the counter fiercely, her knuckles going white. I mirrored her prior actions – first wiping off all of her eyeshadow, folding the wipe with my fingers with each pass. The closer I got to the edge of her lid, the gentler I pressed. The brunette reached up and grabbed her fake eyelashes and pulled them off of her eyelids with ease, tossing them onto a safe section of the bathroom sink counter.
"I have never understood these," I commented, smiling down at Lena.
"What? Fake eyelashes?"
I nodded.
"Helps to accentuate the eyes," she explained.
"You already have the most beautiful and unique eyes," I argued, my voice low.
Lena blushed and tilted her head down.
"I'm not done," I noted, lifting her chin up with my free hand. "Close em," I demanded softly
I took my time and finished wiping the dark eyeliner from her eyes, leaving the skin clean and refreshed. I grabbed another wipe and ran it all over her face, wiping up the foundation, toner, and blush effectively revealing light freckles and small lines along her skin. I saved her lipstick for last, knowing that I had been waiting all evening to rid her of the dark red color. She parted her lips slightly as I began wiping the red away from her skin. What I came to find out was even though I had completely rid her of the lipstick, her lips remained stained.
After tossing the wipe in the trash can, I trailed my fingers along her face. I thought that Lena taking off my makeup was one of the most intimate situations I had ever been in but little did I know that standing up against her as she leaned against the counter, surpassed the former context with great ease. I curled my fingers along her sharp jawline and leaned down toward her. There were so many times I had wanted to kiss her, to hold her face, to taste her on my lips, but I never did. Now, I had permission. My bare lips touched hers; her mouth was softer than I could have ever imagined. Even the most innocent of kisses from Lena intoxicated me, but this kiss did not remain innocent for long. Our lips met and parted in what, weirdly, seemed to be a well-practiced dance. Lena darted her tongue out to trace my lips, eliciting a small gasp. She took the opportunity to slip her tongue into my mouth and rolled it around in my mouth – tasking me and drinking me in. As she explored, the brunette trailed her hands along my arms and up along my collarbone.
"Is this okay?" she asked, gasping for air.
I nodded perhaps a little too quickly, recapturing her lips at once.
Lena continued running her hands all along my body. Her fingertips left a burning trail across my chest and down the valley of my breasts. I trembled at her touch. It was like every nerve misfired in the most delicious of ways. However, my hands stood frozen at her hips as she made her journey.
"Kara," she whispered against my lips before briefly reclaiming them.
"Hmm?" I hummed, unwilling to let go of her lips.
"You can touch me," she cooed, her lips curling in a light smile.
Suddenly, my brain just stopped. Like completely and thoroughly just stopped. Lena must have sensed this and so she straightened her posture ever so slightly, putting a little distance between her lips and mine.
"Look at me," she commanded
I opened my eyes and was immediately met with her heterochromatic orbs gazing back at me. The brunette reached for my hands at her hips and began to slowly guide them upwards along her ribs, journeying towards her collarbone. My palms brushed the outsides and tops of her breasts and I nearly fainted. Lena placed my right hand on her left shoulder, sliding it under the loose fabric of her shirt so I was met with her skin.
I gulped.
"You okay?" she asked tenderly.
I nodded my head, my eyes never once leaving hers.
She grinned widely, a mischievousness gracing her lips.
She guided my other hand to the base of her throat before slowly drawing it down, my fingertips tracing a line from the hollow of her throat through the middle of the opening of her garment.
My eyes fell from hers and locked themselves onto my hand. Lena's skin was so smooth, like silk. My heart pounded against my ribcage unceremoniously as she guided me to continue to touch the open expanse of her skin.
"Kara…"
My eyes shot up at the brunette, hoping I hadn't done something wrong. Lena held my hand to the skin of her chest as she leaned in and kissed me hungrily.
Desire coursed through my veins and began to slowly overcome my nervousness. I was allowed to kiss her. I was allowed to touch her – and was currently touching her in a very sensual place. It's not that I didn't want to touch her – I did. Oh, Rao, I so did. I just… I didn't know what I was doing. In truth, I hadn't been with anyone but Mon-El. Sure, I had kissed a few guys when I was younger and then Adam, James, and…weirdly, Winn, but I hadn't slept with any of them. There were points that I was too afraid I'd hurt them and then, half the time, nothing ever progressed that far.
And now there was Lena… Lena and I had been dancing around each other for years. Stealing glances and small, inconspicuous touches… holding on to hugs just a little bit longer than what may have seemed socially appropriate… our feels developed organically and the tension and buildup I felt – that I assumed we both felt – was insurmountable. I wanted to touch her. I wanted to feel her underneath my skin. I wanted to kiss every millimeter of her body. But as hungry as I was for her, that twinge of fear surfaced.
What if I did something wrong? What if she didn't like it? Rao, what if it hurt her in all of my haste to feel her and make her feel good? I would never forgive myself if I hurt Lena. Sure, I had control over my strength most of the time, but there were still times that I simply did not… times when I was excited or scared or frustrated.
I'd never forget the time that Alex came home from college – I was probably 17 – and I was so excited to see her for the summer that I ran up to her, hugged her, and she ended up with a bruised rib. It could have been worse, we thought it was fractured. I ran to our treehouse in the backyard that I probably hadn't been in for two or three years and refused to come down. I was so distraught that I had hurt Alex simply because I was excited. It took an act of war to get me down… well, a war on my stomach at least. Alex helped her mom make lasagna and chocolate pecan pie and then sat down and began to eat just below the entrance to the treehouse. In their defense, it was probably the only thing that would have drawn me out. I had been in there for hours and was so hungry I almost considered eating the wood.
I had grown a lot since being 17-year-old Kara. I had learned a lot about my strength and my gentleness. I had learned how not to break someone's nose when simply kissing them. But Lena made me feel inebriated – completely drunk and not in full control of myself…and that terrified me.
Lena withdrew her hand from mine so she could run her fingers up my arm and to my shoulders; she played with the straps of my dress as if they were annoying her. She kissed me fiercely, leaving us mere nanoseconds to gasp for air before our lips collided once again. Her skin was hot and flush, mirroring my own. I gingerly trailed my fingers up and down the naked skin of her chest, reeling as I felt the soft underside of her breast.
Something came over me – I wasn't sure what, but it felt like this overwhelming sense of urgency. I moved my hand that was placed along her neck down to her ass and hoisted her up onto the bathroom counter. Lena gasped into our kiss, immediately bracketing my hips with her knees. The kiss intensified, our tongues dueling and clashing, trying to fill a consistent need to feel more as our bodies began moving against one another.
Lena reached around to my back and gripped my shoulderblades. I felt her tremble the moment she gripped at the strong muscles. I smiled, breaking the kiss for a moment.
"Are you okay?" I asked, mirroring her words from earlier.
She nodded slowly, her eyes still partially closed. "Yes," she croaked. "You're just…" she trailed off.
I quirked my head, my brow furrowing. "I'm just…what?"
Lena's lips turned upward in a school-girl smile, her eyes focusing on mine. "Kara…you're…a total beefcake," she giggled.
I couldn't help but laugh at the brunette. Lena was one of the most articulate people I had ever met, and she had just called me… a beefcake.
Lena pressed into me during our small laughing fit and I felt our breasts press together, causing both of us to inhale sharply. We searched each other's eyes for any sense of trepidation or hesitation. There was none.
Wordlessly, Lena grabbed the zipper of my dress between her thumb and forefinger and dragged it downwards as low as it could go. The thin straps on my shoulders loosened. Lena brushed them off my arms with the palms of her hands, causing my dress to fall open and bunch sloppily as my hips. The brunette ran her finger along the curvature of the upper part of my breasts, tracing the lines of my adhesive bra.
I nodded slowly, giving her permission to her voiceless plea and she slowly began to peel off the adhesive straps along my ribs, freeing my breasts from their meager confines. As she worked, she kept her eyes locked on mine – never looking down. I could hear her rapid heartbeat and her shallow breath as she worked, tenderly peeling always the remains of the tan, lacey bra. She pushed against me, forcing me to back up as she slid off the counter. She set the bra behind her blindly before pushing my dress down past my hips. I felt completely exposed as I stood before her nearly naked.
Lena look my hands and guided them to her waistband, aiding me in pulling out the tucked portion of her shirt. The tension in the small space between us was thick and palpable. I swallowed hard as she moved my hands upwards, placing them along the inside of her garment near the first set of tape near her collarbone.
"Not going to be as easy as yours," she warned with a smirk.
She helped me unstick the fabric from the tape on the first set and then guided me lower into removing the second and third sets of tape from her left side. I felt her breasts against my wrist and forearm and became dizzy. She had silicone nipple coverings secluding the fullness of her breasts to me, but that didn't make me any less faint. Lena was amused at my state, her smile wide and flirtatious.
Once all the fabric was freed of the double-sided tape, I ran my palms down her shoulders, eagerly ridding her of the cumbersome fabric. Without taking my eyes off hers, I reached upwards for the alcohol and a few cotton balls. I had never really worn double-sided tape before, but Alex had and I had been the lucky one to help her rid herself of the tape along her back quite a few times – so I knew the drill.
I put some alcohol on the cotton ball and began feeling around her chest to reach the first set of tape.
"You're going to need to look at what you're doing," Lena chuckled.
My eyes widened ever so slightly. I knew she was right – it would be much easier if I could see what I was doing, but I didn't think I was ready to take her in yet.
"It's okay," she coaxed. "You can look at me," she affirmed, bringing one hand up and cupping my cheese before placing a gentle kiss on my lips.
I kept my eyes closed for a brief moment and tried to steady my breath. The electricity from the kiss Lena left on my lips lingered.
I inhaled deeply and opened my eyes. Lena was gazing back at me lovingly, letting me take my time. I didn't feel any rush or push to 'go faster' or 'do more'. She was simply content letting me go at my own pace – whatever that may be – and that knowledge comforted me.
I can do this I said to myself silently.
I walked my eyes down her face and her neck before resting on the first bit of tape. Gingerly, I began rubbing the alcohol-soaked cotton ball around the sticky strip and then, I hesitated. I knew peeling these off Alex hurt like hell and I didn't want Lena to hurt.
"It's okay, Kara. Just like a Band-Aid. Rip it downward though," she instructed.
I darted my gaze back to her eyes for a moment and nodded my head before resuming my task. Per her instructions, I ripped the tape off in a downward motion. Lena didn't even flinch. Was Alex really that much of a baby? I threw the strip in the trash and began wiping down the area with the cotton ball, removing all the adhesive from her skin.
I moved to the left to rid her of the second uppermost tape. The process went a lot smoother as I knew it didn't hurt her. Lena was just leaned back against the counter, her eyes closed and her lips upturned in a genuine smile. As I moved lower, my hands touched more intimate spaces. It was getting hard to breathe. I felt her tremble as my pinky finger ran down the center of her solar plexus and then again when my knuckles brushed the underside of her breasts. When all of the tape was removed and the adhesive to her skin was wiped off, I trailed my fingertips up her ribs and across her collarbone before resting them along her jaw and bringing her into a deep kiss.
I felt the round silicone nipple covers against my skin. The texture was off. I didn't want to feel the covers – I wanted to feel her. I broke the kiss and let my fingers journey down her chest to the upward curvature of the covers. Lena's eyes were darker, more wanton. The moment she nodded her head, I began peeling the adhesive covers off her skin. The brunette's nipple grazed the side of my hand, immediately hardening from the exposure to the cool air. I shivered, a flood of liquid heat pooling between my thighs.
Lena swallowed audibly. I knew she was affected too. I couldn't believe we had wasted this much time. Why were we both so scared to admit the truth? I couldn't bring myself to remember why I was so afraid, but I knew one thing – I had Lena now and I was not ever going to let her slip between my fingers. She was my person…the other half of my soul. I may not have been born to be Supergirl, but I was born to love her. Perhaps Rao knew that I had to be sent to Earth just to meet Lena… just to love her and be loved by her. Despite the pain I had gone through, despite the exhaustion and the trauma, she was worth it. This…this was worth it. And if given the choice, I'd go through it all again just to be with her.
I didn't look down after removing the second nipple cover. It didn't appear Lena had taken me in either. We just kept looking in each other's eyes, reveling in the moment and taking our time.
"You're umm…" I cleared my throat. "A little more dressed than me," I pointed out.
She laughed lightly, bringing my hands to the clasp at the front of her pants and guiding me in removing her of the shiny, satiny garment, her black thong being removed along with it. I thought my heart had been beating as fast as it could before… I was wrong. I was 100% sure that people across the street could hear my heart hammering inside my chest.
I closed my eyes tightly, trying to settle myself.
"Hey… hey…" the brunette cooed. "Look at me," she paused waiting for me to open my eyes. "It's just me." She kissed me – gently at first but allowing the kiss to deepen and grow hungrier. As we kissed, she trailed her fingers down my ribs and my hips, easing my underwear off my thighs. She broke the kiss and knelt down to completely divest me of the material – her eyes still locked on mine.
She stood up and drew me into a full-body hug. There was no air between our skins. Feeling Lena's naked body against mine was… well, I imagined it to be comparable to that of being wrapped in Rao's light.
Lena pulled back from the hug first, much to my dismay.
"Will you take a shower with me, my darling?"
I nodded, my heart warm and so unbelievably full.