I dunno what happened. I thought I was done a few weeks ago, but I started getting nitpicky again, which lead to a couple rewrites. It didn't get as bad as chapter 5, but it got pretty close
I'm still not happy with how this chapter turned out, but I wanted to get this done before Christmas

Chapter 8 – Ending a Long Day

That unnerving presence I felt whenever I was around Alastor or Velvet? That was nothing compared to what I'm getting from the demon standing in front of me. Every instinct I had was screaming at me to run away as fast as possible until I was either safe or my heart gave out, but I was too terrified to even move. It would've been a futile effort, anyway, he would've caught me no matter how fast I ran or how far I got.

"Andrew, you're back," Charlie says as she walks up to the doorway, the tone of her voice and the nervous smile she has made it very clear that she wished I wasn't here right now.

Niffty and Husk approached from behind Charlie, the small cyclops girl looking just as concerned as the princess is. As for Husk, if he was concerned for my well-being too, I honestly can't tell; the winged cat looks just as grumpy as he normally does. And finally, Alastor walked into view; and to my annoyance, I think he's actually enjoying this. I'm half expecting the red demon to take out a bag of popcorn as he watches me being terrified of Lucifer here.

Lucifer frowns as he takes notice of the hotel's residents gathering here, and looks over to his daughter. "Charlie," he says. "Can you take me and the human to someplace more private? I'd like to talk to him." He turns his attention back to me, his smile returning. "Alone."

I gulp nervously, wishing that I was literally anywhere else right now. Hell, even being stuck as a captive for that Pentious guy would've been preferable to this.

I'm walking alongside Charlie as she's leading me and Lucifer to the hotel's staff room. Standing next to the princess helps ease my nerves about being stuck in a room with Lucifer; unfortunately, it's not working as well as I'd like. I struggle to keep myself from shuddering, I can actually feel Lucifer's gaze as he follows us.

"I'm so sorry about this, Andrew," Charlie tells me. "This is probably the last thing you want to deal with after what happened earlier today."

"I-it's… It's not your fault, Charlie," I stammer nervously in response. "This was coming the moment Velvet posted that pic of me online, and it was my choice to come back to the hotel even though I knew your dad was still here. I should've known better than to think I could sneak past him in the first place…"

Neither of us said anything after that, and the three of us just continued to the staff room. I hated it, things were tense enough as is, knowing that I'll be alone with the Devil himself; and the silence as we walked was just making the tension even worse. Why did the staff room have to be so far away? I know it's only been a few minutes, but it feels like we've been walking for hours. Eventually, we arrive at a door with a paper saying "Hotel Staff" taped onto it.

"Well, here we are," Charlie says nervously. "Are you sure you just want it to be just you two, dad? Andrew's looking pretty nervous, and I'm sure he'd appreciate me in there with him."

"No Charlie, I want this to be just between me and him," Lucifer responds.

"I'll – I'll be fine, Charlie," I say. Though it was more of an attempt to reassure myself than anything else. Still, I gulp nervously as I walk inside, with Lucifer entering behind me. I see Charlie's worried face before her father closes the door, and I chuckle nervously as I look at him.

"Eh heh… So…"

He frowns as he raises a finger, and I immediately take it as a sign to shut up. Before I can react or do anything, he creates a small orb of red and black light that quickly expands to fill the entire room, and demonic runes appear on the door. "There, now nobody will be able to enter or hear what's going on in this room."

In other words, if Lucifer decided to just up and murder me, nobody would be able to try and stop him. If it were possible, I would've melted into a puddle from how terrified I am.

Lucifer walks past me and goes over to a nearby table. "You seem pretty tense, why don't you sit down and have a drink? Relax, I just wanna talk to ya; ask a few questions."

I blink, and he's suddenly pouring a bottle of liquor into a pair of glasses. Nervously, I go over and sit at the table. "You're… You're not gonna kill me?"

"Oh, fuck no. Charlie would never forgive me if I did something like that. Plus, though I doubt anything would happen, I'd rather not risk getting into trouble with the people upstairs."

I was about to ask him what that meant when he hands me one of the glasses.

"Don't worry, it's safe for you humans."

"O-oh, no thanks, I don't drink," I tell him nervously. I just cannot stand the taste of anything alcoholic, at all; and I doubt he'd appreciate it if I was to gag. Lucifer raises an eyebrow before giving a small shrug.

"Your loss, just don't go saying that in public," he says before downing the glass. "Now then, what do you think of Hell so far?"

"Well, it's definitely not what I was expecting," I admit.

"Yes, new arrivals always say that. Speaking of, tell me, how did you come down here?" Lucifer asks.

"Well, I'm not exactly sure. One minute, I find a portal in the hotel I was staying at, and the next, someone knocked me in. I never got a good look at who it was," a thought occurred to me and my hopes started to rise. "Can you make a portal leading back to Earth?"

"Oh, I could. Easily. Won't work, though."

And my hopes on getting home were immediately crushed. "Wha- Why?"

"Simple, because each portal that leads to the living world has its own magical signature based on who created the portal; and since you're a mortal, you're marked with the energy of that portal's specific magic," Lucifer explains, drinking from his glass. "Meaning that the only way you can return home is to find the demon who created the portal that brought you here; trying to go through a portal made by anyone else would be like walking into a wall."

He laughs, "Which is funny as hell, but clearly not something you want."

I nod in understanding, though I couldn't help but feel disappointed and slightly annoyed. It kinda makes sense, but at the same time, it sounds like a hastily thought-out attempt to make a story last longer.

"Well, so much for being able to get back home right away. Would you at least be willing to help find the demon that can send me home?" I ask.

"Well, unfortunately for you, helping a human find his way out of Hell would rank very low on my list of things to do," he says before an evil grin forms on his face. "Though there is a way to bump you up to the top of that list, if you get what I mean."

I laugh nervously, and scootch my seat a little further away from the devil. "Eh heh, thanks, but I think I'd rather keep my soul."

"Suit yourself," he shrugs. "Though it could take you quite some time without my help."

"Yeah, I figured that'd be the case…"

To be honest, I'm not sure what I want. As much as I'd like to return home as quickly as possible, there wasn't really anything up there waiting for me that I want to go back to, just my parents, my sister, and my cats.

…

I should probably give them another call later; they at least deserve to know where I am and that I'm still alright.

"Now, second question," Lucifer says, snapping me out of my thoughts. "Does anyone know that you're a human?"

Well, I honestly don't know who else knows. Velvet and that Pentious guy never said anything to suggest they recognized that I was human, the only one I know for sure is Cherri. Shit, wait, what would Lucifer do to Cherri if I was to tell him that she knows I'm not a demon? Would he kill her to ensure she wouldn't tell anyone?

"Well… I didn't tell anyone that I'm human," I tell him. Thankfully that's technically true, since I'm a terrible liar.

"Not what I asked, but good to know that you're not fucking stupid," he comments. "Just be glad that photo of you is the only thing out there, and that the news was too focused on that fight between Cherri and Pentious to notice you being kidnapped by eggs; you don't want the extra attention. And make sure that you being a human stays a secret, it'd be a problem for both of us if that got out. You know why that is?"

Crap, is he expecting me to know this? I don't know anything about demons beyond what I got from movies and video games, and I'm not sure how much of that is accurate. I think wanting human souls was a recurring trend? Dammit, I don't know anything about souls either, besides what I remember from Fullmetal Alchemist and Undertale.

"Um… Is it because human souls are immensely powerful and they might try to take mine to try and overthrow you?"

"Hmm, yes and no. Human souls do contain a decent amount of power, enough for an imp or a sinner to reach overlord status. Anyone who makes a deal with you or has the magical knowhow can use your soul. But more souls are needed to match a demon of higher ranking, and a fuckton of souls are needed to get even close to me," he explains. "No, your problems will be much more mundane than that. Most of the demons'll torture you for information on how you got here in an attempt to find a way up to Earth. The cannibals would definitely wanna chop you up to sell as exotic meat. Some will probably want to have you stuffed and mounted to a wall. If you're lucky, you'd end up as some servant or a pet for one of the wealthier demons."

Lucifer pours himself another drink. "And it'll be a problem for me, because they'll want more human meat, they'll get jealous and want a human pet of their own, or something along those lines. They'll come to me or the other demon lords with the ability to travel to your world, and there can only be so many humans down here before those pricks in Heaven take notice."

"What does that have to do with you not wanting to risk killing me?" I ask him.

"Because Heaven would not like it when an innocent soul is killed down here. Only the most ancient demons know of this, one of the terms we had when the war ended is that 'the blood of an innocent human cannot be spilled in Hell'. Pretty much had to take or destroy every way the humans could use to get here to ensure nobody got here by accident. Of course, that was back when things were much simpler; now Heaven's become so uptight that it's near impossible to find a human that they'd consider to be innocent. Especially since most humans have become stupid and cruel creatures who'd fuck each other over for no reason."

I don't think I've done anything that would really be considered sinful or morally wrong. I mean, I played some slot machines when my family went on a Carnival cruise years ago, but that's nothing that would result in me being condemned to Hell, right?

Ah, who am I kidding? I'm probably going to end up down here myself when I die. Though I guess that's not a bad thing, since I now know what Hell's actually like.

"Anyway, if you do turn out to be an innocent, best case scenario for me if you die is that I'd convince them that your death was because of your own carelessness or complete chance, and they'd just deal with whichever demon killed you."

I open my mouth to argue, then immediately close it because I got abducted by eggs earlier today, despite my attempt to hide during that fight. Taking my silence as confirmation, he gets up and walks over to look at something taped to the wall. I can't really see it from where I'm sitting, but judging by the colorful markings, I'm guessing it's something Charlie made. "Now then, one last question. What are your thoughts on Charlie's little redemption project? She told me that you're the first person besides Vagatha who actually believes it could work, but I want to hear from you."

I remember what I told Charlie when I first arrived down here, how I believed that redemption was possible for demons. And, after being down here for a few days, that opinion didn't change. I haven't met that many down here because we spent most of the time keeping attention off of me and hiding that I'm human, but most of the demons that I have met seemed like decent people. Granted, they're down here for a reason, but still decent people.

I take a deep breath as I think about what to say. "Redemption definitely isn't for everyone; some things just can't be forgiven and some people just don't want to change. But I do believe most people deserve another chance to become a better person, as many as needed. And demons or not, they're still people," I tell him. "It'd be a lot of hard work, mostly with convincing them that their reputations aren't worth it, and many of them probably won't want to put in the effort; but I'm sure redemption is possible, even for demons."

Lucifer gives a small "Hmm" before turning to me. "No wonder Charlie's taken such a liking to you in the short amount of time you've been down here, you're almost as idealistic as she is. Though you do seem to be more realistic about this whole redemption thing. Of course, now I'm gonna have to threaten you."

"Wait, wh-"

A clawed hand grabs my head and slams it down onto the table, pinning me down as Lucifer is inches away from my face.

"I may think this hotel Charlie's working on is completely ridiculous, but I still love her more than anything else. So, if you hurt her in any way, I will know about it; and there'll be nowhere in all of creation where you'll be able to hide, where I can't find you. And when I do, you'll be subjected to an eternity's worth of pain and torment that'd make your worst nightmares seem like pleasant fantasies in comparison. And I'll start by forcing you to watch as I slaughter your family."

My blood ran cold. The threat against me was terrifying enough, but to make me watch as he kills my parents and sister?

"L-le-leave them o-out of this."

"I think only it's fair. You fuck with my family, and I'll end yours."

He smiles evilly as the world starts to distort around us.

Satisfied that he got the point across, and that the human's been sufficiently traumatized, Lucifer ends the distortion, and the demonic runes on the door vanishes as he backs away from the now unresponsive mortal.

"Well, it was nice talking to ya, Andrew, but I gotta get going," he says cheerfully, as if he didn't just threaten to slaughter an entire family and torture someone for all eternity. "Buh bye!"

He opens the door to the staff room to find Charlie pacing nervously outside while Vaggie waiting anxiously by the door. Angel Dust was sitting nearby, he was trying to hide it underneath his usual demeanor, but the worry was still evident on his face. Niffty was attempting to distract herself by cleaning something. And Alastor was just standing there, undoubtedly waiting for a dramatic reveal regarding the human's fate.

"Oh, dad, please tell me that Andrew's –"

"He's fine, Charlie. I just wanted to talk to him, that's all. Anyway, be sure to keep him out of trouble and feed him whenever he gets hungry. Oh, and a collar in case he gets lost outside," Lucifer jokes.

"Daaad," Charlie responds. "He's my friend, not a pet."

"Hey, the two aren't mutually exclusive. With how helpless he is down here, he might as well be a pet," he chuckles. "Well, I'll be heading off now. You might want to check in on him, he seems to have gone into shock. Anyway, take care, Charlie. Love you."

He gives his daughter a quick kiss on her cheek before walking off. By the time he turns the corner, the princess heads into the staff room, with the other three following.

"Hey Andrew? Are you doing okay?" Charlie asks. When she doesn't get a response, she places a hand on her friend's shoulder and gently shakes him.

Still nothing.

"Oh no, dad must've scared him pretty badly if he's like this."

"Maybe we can snap him out of it with a bucket of water?" Angel asks.

"Oh, or maybe a kiss could wake him up?" Niffty suggests. "That always works in fairy tales."

"We're not getting him wet. And this isn't a fairy tale, Niffty," Vaggie tells them both.

"Well, it certainly can't hurt to try the latter. Perhaps a kiss from a not-so fair maiden will awaken the human from this state?" Alastor practically shoves Vaggie towards the hotel's sole human resident. The only reason the moth demon didn't crash into him was because Charlie manages to catch her.

Vaggie snarls at Alastor, ready to draw her spear to skewer him in retaliation for the insult and the shove, only holding back because of the princess and their human friend. "I am not going to kiss him, shitlord!"

The red headed cyclops bounces excitedly. "Ooh, I'll kiss him!"

Vaggie pinches the bridge of her nose in exasperation. "No one's kissing him!"

"Aww," Niffty pouts.

Vaggie just rolls her eye before turning to face the still unresponsive Andrew, bringing her hand up as an idea forms in her head to get him to snap out of his shock.

A sharp pain to my forehead forces me back into reality, and I see Vaggie right in front of me with her hand hovering a few inches from my face.

"Did you just flick me?"

"It was either that or I slap you," she answers. "Are you okay?"

I nod.

"Did Lucifer threaten to torture you for all eternity if you hurt Charlie?"

"Yeah..." I answer. I'm guessing that Lucifer did the same thing when Vaggie first met him if she was able to figure out what he said to me. The demoness gives me a comforting smile before moving out of the way so that Charlie can hug me.

"Thank goodness you're okay, Andrew. I was so worried when Vaggie told me what happened when you called."

"It must've been quite the exciting day for you, Andrew. The action! The drama! You just have to tell us everything about what happened. Starting with how you've been captured by that dastardly Sir Pentious," Alastor said.

I just glare at Alastor, annoyed at how the smiling asshole's attempting to make what happened to me today into a show for his own entertainment. I don't want to deal with him under normal circumstances, but I'm definitely not in mood right now. Glancing over at the others, Vaggie's also glaring at him, Charlie seems to be anxious about a fight breaking out between her girlfriend and the red-clad demon, Angel looks to be a little embarrassed since he was the one responsible for my safety at the time, and Niffty is just smiling innocently.

"I hid in the back the moment the shooting started only for some eggs to find me and bring me aboard their ship. You happy with that?"

Alastor's smile falters slightly at my bland explanation to what happened earlier today, and I just smirk in response. If he wants me to entertain him, he's going to be very disappointed. Alastor seems to have realized that, because he turns his attention to Angel.

"I'm just gonna go get started with dinner. Ziti sound good?" The spider demon says as he leaves the room in an attempt to avoid dealing with Alastor.

Unsurprisingly, the overlord didn't seem to care for Angel's excuse to avoid him. "Excellent, we can talk about what happened earlier while preparing tonight's meal."

"I ain't tellin' you anythin', Smiles."

After the two leave, Niffy gives a small smile. "Well, I might as well go back to cleaning. It was nice seeing that you didn't die." The diminutive cyclops gives a wave before zipping out of the room as well.

"Well, between being kidnapped by eggs and talking to your dad, today has been a tad traumatizing. So, I'm just gonna head to my room, unwind by watching some of my shows." Or scream in terror into my pillow until I pass out. "Just, let me know when dinner's ready."

"Would you be okay with us joining you?" Charlie asks.

I look at her and Vaggie in surprise. "Why?"

"Well, as you said yourself, today was rather traumatizing for you. So it sounds like you could use a friend to be with."

"And because most of the TV shows down here are either porn or someone being brutally murdered; and finding something that isn't either of those, and actually good, is very difficult," Vaggie explains. "It's rare for shows and movies from the living world to find their way down here, but what does end up in Hell tends to be popular to sinners and hellborn."

Huh, so that's how Cherri knew what Mythbusters was despite being down here for over thirty years. "Uh, sure. You two can join me with this. I'm guessing we'll be watching in a theater room? I'm going to need to grab something from my room so we can watch stuff."

Wait, what can I show them? Most of the shows I enjoy are either kids' shows or anime; they're either episodic in nature, they take a while to get into the actual story, or in the case of the latter, can get very fan-servicey. And I doubt they'd enjoy that. Hell, I don't even know what they might like to watch.

"Hey girls? Just so I could narrow things down, is there anything that you'd have a preference for?"

"Ooh, I'd just love a show with strong characters, teenage adventures and magic," Charlie responds eagerly.

"As long as it's not too stupid, I'm fine with anything," Vaggie shrugs. "Though I would like to see something with a female lead."

Well, that narrows it down by a lot, though that still leaves several choices. As I think, I take a quick glance at the grey-skinned woman. While I'm not sure what country Vaggie's family immigrated from, I really should ask her on that, maybe she'd enjoy a show with a Hispanic main character? I smile slightly as I think of the perfect show to introduce them to.

"Well, we owe you one. Now, let's get out of here before the warden finds us and loses his head," the pale-skinned witch says, completely unaware of the hulking form of the warden approaching her from behind.

"Too late."

Before the witch can react, the warden's hand turns into a blade, and with a single swing, cuts off her head.

"I thought you said that this was a show for kids?" Vaggie asks.

"It is," I respond as Eda's downplaying her decapitation as an age thing. "Somehow." I honestly have no idea how that actually got past the censors. So far, aside from that complaint from Vaggie, things have been going pretty well. I was a little worried that the two, mostly Vaggie, might've walked out when Luz was causing chaos at her school, or when Hooty first appeared; but surprisingly, the two decided to stay and keep watching. I think I actually saw Vaggie smile when Eda brought up how that crown was important to her because it meant so much to King.

I wasn't really paying attention the episode, though. I couldn't help but think how similar my situation is to Luz's. There are differences between us, yes, but there are still similarities, mainly about how we're both friendless nerds back home but found friends in a world filled with demons.

"What?" both girls said, snapping me out of my thoughts. I look over at the TV to see Wrath holding up a flower bouquet.

"You've always eluded our capture. You've always been the one who got away. I found that alluring."

"I hate everything he's saying right now," Vaggie says.

"I hate everything you're saying right now."

I couldn't help but snicker at Vaggie's timing.

"Ugh, this is something that Seviathan might consider doing to try and get back together with me."

"Ex-boyfriend?" I ask Charlie, and she nods. "Ah, alright then. I understand." Probably not the best thing to say, but it was personal to her and none of my business.

A phone call is here! A phone call is here!

My eyes widen as I hastily pause the show just as Luz used Eda's staff to whack Wrath's head. Charlie and Vaggie look at me with confusion as I take my phone out.

"The hell is that?" Vaggie asks.

"I thought it was funny at the time," I tell her, not really wanting to explain My Hero Academia and why I had All Might set as the ringtone for my mom's number. I step off the couch and move a few steps away so I wouldn't disturb the ladies that much. "Hi mom. No, it's not a bad time. Is dad there? Out riding the bike, huh? Alright. Well, just tell dad this when he gets back."

I take a deep breath as I think of the best way to say this.

"Promise you won't freak out? Okay, I thought that'd be the answer, but I just wanted to make sure. You remember when I left that message and said that I was 'out of state' a couple days ago? Well… I'm in Hell."

I notice the two girls look at me as I tell mom where I actually am. "Don't worry, I'm still alive. You'd need a seance to talk to me if I was dead, not my phone. I'm fine, not in any danger. I found a portal leading down here and got knocked in, I didn't see who did it, but I'm looking wherever I can for a way back."

I wince at what I said. I hated how I just lied to mom like that, but I couldn't exactly tell her that, between going to the store yesterday and being kidnapped today, I haven't even started looking for a way back. Hell, I don't even know where to look because all I had for a lead was the sound of someone's voice.

"It's actually a lot nicer than I expected, none of that fire and brimstone stuff. It's actually a lot like New York or Vegas, just, you know, more sin. No, nobody's tried to steal my soul, or try to possess me. Not even sure if that's an actual thing, to be honest, since the demons are pretty much just people. Sure, I'll send pictures."

A thought occurs to me, people probably shouldn't be knowing about the afterlife and all that. "I want to keep this a secret in the family; I know I can trust you, but I want you to make absolutely sure that dad can keep this to himself before you tell him, and I'll be sure to let Rachel know when I text her about this. Anyway, I'm staying at this hotel run by the princess of Hell; her name's Charlie, and she's like a Disney princess. You wanna talk to her? Okay, here she is."

I hand over the phone to Charlie and sit back down while she gets up herself.

"Hi, Miss…" she looks over to me, silently asking me for her name.

"Karen," I tell her. Really glad that's just her name, and that she's not an actual Karen.

"Miss Karen. It's nice to speak with you. No, it's no problem having your son stay here," Charlie says as she steps away.

Vaggie looks at me. "Are you sure it's a good idea to tell her that you're in Hell, Andrew?"

"Honestly? I'm not sure myself. My parents are open-minded people, but telling them that the afterlife's real is another thing entirely," I say. "But my parents and sister deserve to know where I am, at the very least. I mean, if you were in my position, wouldn't you do the same?"

She sighs, "Yeah, I suppose you have a point. Though I'm sure my parents would've freaked out if I was to have told them."

Charlie comes back and hands me my phone.

"Thanks." I hold the phone up, "Hey. Yeah, I'll be careful down here, you don't need to worry about me." Mom should never know what happened earlier today. "Alright, I'll call again, and hopefully I'll be back up there soon. Love you too, bye."

I hang up. "Well, that went well. So Charlie, what'd mom talk to you about?"

"Oh, she just wanted to make sure that you were in good hands down here, and that you'd be safe with the others," Charlie answers. "She seems nice, I can see where you got it."

"Yeah, mom and dad did everything they could to make sure they raised me and my sister right. Maybe I can take you all to visit them?"

"Really?" she beams.

"Let's just focus on ensuring you get back home before making any promises like that, okay?" Vaggie says.

"Right, right, find a way back to Earth first." I send my sister a quick text before I put my phone away, and then hold up the remote. "So, keep going?"

"Oh, definitely," Charlie says as she starts eagerly bouncing in her seat. Vaggie's response was more subdued.

"Sure," Vaggie answers, giving a quick nod. "Never thought that I'd say this about a kid's show, but I'm actually enjoying this."

"Hey, it's a great show."

The three of us were able to continue watching The Owl House, with the only interruption being Niffty, who decided to come in and clean the room during the fourth episode. How that little cyclops was able to lift up the couch with us on it, with one hand, just boggles me.

As the end credits for episode five start, I grab the remote and back out to the main menu, much to the princess's disappointment.

"Aw, can't we watch one more, Andrew?"

"Sorry, but I think five episodes is enough for one day, at least for you two. Besides, it probably won't be much longer until dinner's ready. Maybe we can watch more tomorrow?" I offer.

"Maybe the day after that," Vaggie says. "Between me having to rescue you, and Charlie having to deal with her dad, we weren't able to get able to get much done today."

"Oh, right. Sorry about…all of that."

"Don't be," she says. "You're our friend, and you needed help."

I smile at that; it actually means a lot to me.

"And besides Charlie, you're the only other person down here I actually like. I'm not losing that."

"Oh, hey, you're still alive," Husk says as I sit down at the dinner table.

Charlie smiles. "Aw, Husk, you actually care about him."

"Tsk, I don't," he responds. "It's just that between your unending happiness, your girlfriend's bitchin' about my booze, Angel hitting on me every chance he can get, Niffty being a neat freak, and that son of a bitch," Husk gestures to Alastor. "Andrew's the only one who hasn't pissed me off yet."

"Oh, Husker, there's no need to hide how you were concerned like the others," Alastor jokes.

The cat demon just grumbles in annoyance, but doesn't bother with a response.

"Hey Andrew?" Charlie asks. "I've been wanting to ask you for a while, and I hope you don't mind after everything that's happened, but what did dad talk to you about?"

"Mostly asked how I got here, if anyone else knows that I'm a human, and my thoughts on the hotel."

"Did dad say that he'd help you find a way back?"

"Your dad pretty much said that making a deal with him was the only way he'd be willing to help out, and I'd rather keep my soul. Other than that, he said that I need to find the demon whose magic made the portal that brought me here, because a portal made by someone else won't let me through."

I sigh as I get a serving of ziti for myself, accepting that I'm probably going to be down here for a while, maybe even years. Unless a miracle happened, or if the demons responsible for bringing me here decide to find me and send me back, but neither seem likely.

The others didn't say anything for a moment, until Angel speaks up. "So, Andrew, did ya happen to get the name of Pentious's latest 'ultimate weapon'? Me and Cherri were too busy laughin' at how it looked to find out."

I think back, trying to remember why I started laughing at that snake demon in the first place. He didn't get the chance to tell me its name, but I think I managed to catch what its name was on that slide. I start snickering as I recall what I've seen. "Yeah, I think he called it the cockatron." That snicker became a laugh, "Wait, there were other 'ultimate weapons' before?"

"The cockatron?" Angel cackles. "That's what Pentious called it? Now I'm actually wishin' we didn't start laughin' right away. Me and Cherri could've made so many jokes while fightin' it."

"May you please refrain from such vulgarity at the table?" Alastor asks.

"Finally, something we can actually agree on," Vaggie mutters. "And seriously, Andrew? I expected this from Angel, but you?"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," I apologize while trying to calm myself down. "It's just, I kinda get what he was trying to go for, but that name was just so stupid that I couldn't even take him seriously anymore."

Angel was eventually able to calm down, though he still had a shit-eating grin on his face. "Oh, I gotta tell Cherri what that robot was called when we're done eatin'. Anyway, to answer your question, yes. Every now and then, Pentious brought in what he claimed was his 'ultimate weapon' to beat us with, always a big, fancy-lookin' gun that blew up in his face, or some robot that we turned to scrap. I stopped countin' after the seventeenth, I think. Honestly not surprised he had a room on his latest ship for that purpose."

"Do you have to keep getting into fights with Pentious, though?" Charlie asks. "You're supposed to be on your best behavior to help prove that the hotel can work. It was even worse this time since Andrew got involved."

"Hey, Pentious attacked us first, and we told Andrew to go and hide while we kept all the attention on us. Him bein' taken was complete chance. And I only get into fights with Pentious to help out Cherri, since she's my friend. And because it's fun."

Oh yeah, Cherri asked for me to talk to Charlie and Vaggie about getting Angel to stay at the hotel. Really wish I remembered that when I was alone with the two instead of right now when Angel's here. Hopefully I can catch them about this after we're done eating.

"Can we talk about something else while we're eating? Something that won't end in an argument?" I ask.

"Well, you can tell us what you were doing alone with the ladies for nearly two hours," Angel gives me a smile. "Ya finally become a man?"

I just laugh nervously at what he was implying. "What? No, they're just friends." Did it just get warmer in here? I swear it just got warmer…

"Angel…" Vaggie warns. Her face and Charlie's were also a bright red at what he just said.

He laughs. "Lighten up, toots; I'm just messin' with him. Always fun to mess with virgins like that."

"Anyway, if you were curious about what we were doing," Charlie speaks up in an attempt to change the subject to something much less awkward for us. "Andrew introduced us to a show that he enjoys watching."

"What did you show them, Andrew?" Niffty asks. "I was a little curious, but I was too busy cleaning to ask."

Oh, thank god, that actually worked. "Well, it's called The Owl House; and it's about a girl named Luz Noceda and her adventures in the Demon Realm..."

Loona exits the van and heads into the motel room she and her coworkers were staying in, a small bag in her hands. Opening the door, she finds Blitzo and Moxxie, unsurprisingly, having another argument.

"Sir, I still don't think that this is necessary. It probably won't even work after what happened today. We really should just talk to them and say that we'll bring the human back to the living world when we get the book back."

While Loona would never say this out loud, she actually agreed with the white-haired imp on this. There's no way anyone in their right mind would follow someone they don't know into a dark alley, especially since this is Hell. Which is why, the next time the human leaves the hotel, she'll explain to him that she and her coworkers will return him to the living world. Of course, there's just one, very annoying problem with that.

"Mox, humans are fucking idiots. If he's still alive, he'll probably have forgotten about it by tomorrow. Besides, we already talked about this. We'll never be allowed close to him if we explain why we were up there in the first place. Oh, and since the princess is there, we'll be in a FUCKTON of trouble once her dad finds out that we've been using Stolas's book to go up to Earth! And that's assuming we don't run into the fucking Radio Demon there." Blitzo notices that Loona entered their room. "Loonie, please tell me that human died back at that airbase so we can just gather the pieces and throw them in some dumpster up there."

"Nope, he's still alive and still at that hotel," Loona tells him. "Which was why I stopped to grab this on the way back."

The hellhound reaches into the bag she's carrying, and pulls out a set of devil horns, similar to what they've seen the human wearing, though these were larger and more curved. "Figured that he might be more willing to believe I'm another human who found their way to Hell if I have these on."

"I can't help but feel insulted at how that's enough for a human to disguise themselves to be down here," Moxxie says.

Velvet's hovering over her cauldron, listening to her "brewing playlist" as she stirs the elixir.

There's something about you driving me mad

There's something about you I've got to have

There's something about you, there's something about you.

The mixture turns from a magenta to a dark blue with white sparkles, almost resembling the night sky back on Earth. "Ooh, it's done!"

Velvet turns off the playlist before twirling her fingers, the elixir flows out of the cauldron and into several potion bottles the overlord placed nearby. Grabbing one, she looks over the recipe book. "'Think of the person whose dreams you wish to visit while consuming the dreamwalker elixir," she reads aloud. "'Warning, do not stand during consumption'. Huh, that part's rather specific…"

She shrugs before she grabs a bottle and heads over to her room. Velvet downs the contents as she sits on her bed, and curiously looks at the bottle.

"Huh, tastes kinda like –" Velvet immediately falls over, already asleep from the elixir. As she snoozes, a maroon cloud materializes from her head and drifts through the wall.

Unfortunately, I wasn't able to get a chance to talk to Charlie and Vaggie, the two went to their room right after dinner. I'll try to talk to them tomorrow, I don't plan on going out at all, anyway. I went to my room after dinner too; because after everything that happened today, I'm just exhausted.

I close the door to my room and lock it, before glancing at the dresser. I think I might be able move it to help block the door. Not sure if it'd be effective at keeping Alastor out if that creep decides to do something while I'm asleep, but some kind of barricade might help put me at ease for the night. I think about it for a moment before I shake my head.

"Nah…" I say to myself. Even if I was able to move that dresser, it'd be a pain to move it back to where it was in the morning.

I climb onto my bed after brushing my teeth and putting on my pajamas. Though, as tired as I am, between being abducted by eggs, Lucifer threatening to kill my family and torture me for all eternity, and that dark red cloud coming in through the wall, I'm not sure if I even can get to sleep tonight.

Wait, what?

I glance over where I saw the cloud coming at me, and It's there approaching me. It vanishes when it gets right in my face; I think I just heard a giggle? I blink in confusion. Okay, I must be really tired if I'm imagining things like… Like that…

The human yawns as he's overcome with sudden drowsiness, and collapses onto the bed.

…

Okay, this is pretty weird…

My first thought as I look around was to assume that I'm somehow back home. That thought was almost immediately thrown out as I noticed that, although this is my home, almost all the color's been heavily desaturated, the rooms are larger and there are doors, photos and paintings, and what looks to be computer screens everywhere.

That being said, I don't think I'm simply dreaming. Even my more lucid dreams didn't look and feel so real. With all the doors and pictures, I can't help but be reminded of Dreamscaperers and Understanding Willow, for some reason. Is this supposed to be my own mindscape? If it is, it's pretty cool.

Well, not sure what else to do, might as well go explore in here until I wake up. I walk over to the closest door, with a sign marking it as 'Fantasies', and open it. And then immediately slam it shut, because nope, I totally did not see myself in bed with Charlie and Vaggie! Not at all.

"Dammit, Angel, why'd you have to tease me by suggesting that?" I ask myself.

It's starting to become uncomfortably warm here, I'm going to go somewhere else. Like those paintings over there.

…

"Huh, I wonder why these pictures are like this…" I mutter as I look over at some of the paintings. These pictures have been so worn and degraded that I'm not even sure who they were of. Friends that I had years ago? That was rather worrying, if I've forgotten what my old friends looked like. I really hope I don't forget the friends I've made down here, because that portrait of Charlie and Vaggie that's nearby looks too beautiful to fade away.

The pictures of Angel, Cherri and Niffty look quite nice, too. Though they don't look finished, looking like they're flat colors. Husk seems to be a simple line art. And… Who is that person? It looks like a rough sketch of a girl with pigtails?

"Wait, is that –?"

I was interrupted by a knocking from a door that wasn't there before. Hell, it didn't look like it even belongs here, being white with pink hearts. It looks familiar, somehow.

Curious about what's going on, I walk over and open the door.

"Hi An–"

And slam it shut immediately. That wasn't Velvet…was it?

I open the door again. "-drew!"

Then slam it shut. There's no mistaking that unnerving presence, that was definitely Velvet. What the hell is she doing here? Why is she here?

"This… This is all just a dream. A really weird, fucked up dream," I tell myself. I chuckle nervously for a moment, until the denial vanishes and I just sigh. Opening the door once more, I see the girl still standing there, an innocent smile on her face as if this was all just a silly little game between us.

"You done playing?" Velvet asks.

"You're not here to kill me in my dreams like that Freddy guy, are you?"

"Oh, don't be so silly," she giggles. "This isn't Nightmare on Elm Street. No, I'm here because I wanna hang out with you."

I blink in surprise. The girl I've known for less than two minutes, and my only interactions with her were helping her back onto her feet and taking a selfie before I was practically dragged away by Charlie and Vaggie, just randomly appeared in my mindspace to hang out with me? "Why?"

"Well, that's what friends do, right?" she asks as she playfully boops my nose. "So, can I come in?"

Not sure how we're friends when we've basically just met. Not to mention the fact that she's a demonic overlord who probably would've killed me if she was in a bad mood during my first encounter with her, was friends with what Cherri described as the biggest piece of shit in all of Hell, and was the reason why Lucifer knows that I'm down here. There was no way that I could trust her with entering my mind.

"Sure, you can come in."

Goddammit, I really hate how I just speak without thinking sometimes. Oh well, if she tries anything, maybe I can force her out. Somehow.

Velvet bounces excitedly at my answer, and skips down a hallway, singing cheerfully as she does. I didn't catch the lyrics, but I'm certain I heard the words 'pretty little psycho'. I sigh as I follow Velvet, I really hope that I didn't make a mistake by letting her in.

Why did she have to be so cute?

If Charlie and Vaggie were real and you were friends with them, what shows would you try and get them to watch?
Funny enough, a lot of the shows I enjoy watching involve strong characters, magic, and/or teenage adventures, so Charlie would probably like them too

Hope you all enjoyed this, feel free to provide any input so I can improve. Also, still looking for a beta reader, so offers are welcome