Author's Note: Here's a little something I wrote up to help cheer myself up after the disappointment that was that horrible trailer for DC League of Super-Pets (Ace is goofy? Chip's name has a vowel in it and he isn't a Green Lantern or an alien? No Streaky the Supercat? No Dex-Starr? No Dog Star Patrol? What a waste!). Oh well, no use crying or getting mad over it. Better off turning it into something funny. And to be honest, "Static-Shock" Chip actually looks to be the best character in this silly movie, or at least my own personal favorite character. So, at least I got something enjoyable out of it. His voice actor sure sounds good and I hope he has tons of funny scenes, funny dialogue, and awesome action moments. Gotta take the good with the bad.

Alright, enough of that, time to write a funny one-shot! This could totally work as one of those special short films that the put in the Bonus Features of DVDs/BluRays. Enjoy!

Chip Goes Nuts

In the park in Metropolis, an acorn fell from a tree and landed on the ground. This tell-tale sound of a nut clacking against one of the paved paths in the park caught the attention of green-eyed, red squirrel named Chip. Said squirrel peeked his large head out from some bushes, and smiled at the sight of the delicious acorn. He bounded out from his hiding place and over to the nut, then reached out a forepaw to grab it.

ZAP!

Chip's eyes widened as a bolt of electricity shot out of his right forepaw and hit the acorn, pushing it a few feet away from him. Chip huffed, annoyed by this slight hiccup in his powers, and quickly stepped towards the nut and reached out to it again.

ZAP!

Chip chittered in irritation as another bolt shot out of his paw and knocked the acorn away again. He immediately bounded after it, and this time used his left forepaw to grab at it.

ZAP!

A third time, the acorn was knocked away, and Chip groaned as he looked down at his forepaws as the electric blue grown slowly faded away again. He reached up and tugged at his ears in frustration, then his eyes widened as inspiration struck him. Still holding onto his ears, Chip looked down at his large footpaws and and smiled knowingly.

The squirrel proceeded to walk over to the acorn, still holding onto his ears with his forepaws, and stopped when he was within grabbing distance of it. With a sly grin, Chip raised his right footpaw and brought it forward to grab hold of the acorn.

ZAP!

Chip's jaw dropped and he promptly let go of his ears as a bolt shot out of his foot, sending the acorn flying away from his yet again. He actually lifted his foot up slightly and stared it as he wiggled his toes, truly surprised that he could send his electricity powers out of his feet as well. However, his pondering was interrupted by a loud gurgling from his stomach. With a frown, with drooping ears to match, Chip went down on all fours and zipped after the acorn.

Chip stopped right before he was in grabbing distance of the nut, and he closed his eyes and took several deep breaths. He then stood back up and proceeded to shake each of his forepaws and then each foot, as if he had had just gotten soaked to the point of being dripping wet and was shaking off the excess water. Chip then went back down to all fours and carefully crept towards the acorn. The squirrel held his breath as he raised his right forepaw and stuck out one tiny digit. His nose twitched nervously as he slowly moved his paw towards the acorn. Then, after several agonizing seconds, the tip of his claw touched the acorn.

ZAP!

Chip shouted in frustration, and took off after the acorn. He swiftly made tracked along the paved trail as he pursued the nut. Each time he reached out with a paw, yet another bolt of his own electricity shot out to send the acorn bouncing away from him. Every time it happened, Chip got more and more frustrated, not to mention determined to hold onto and eat that specific acorn in spite of the bountiful amount of food in the park.

Eventually, with a loud anguished cry, Chip dived for the acorn with both paws, giving it a double zap that send the nut flying up and onto a large cylindrical tank far off from any trees and behind a large building.

Chip skidded to a halt a few yards away from the tank, staring up at it with wide eyes. His stomach then let out a loud gurgle, and he sucked his teeth determinedly and ran towards the tank. Chip jumped up onto the side of it, trying to get a grip on the smouth, rounded, metal surface with his paws. Unfortunately, he could only cling to the side of it for two seconds before sliding off and landing on his butt.

After falling off twice, Chip rubbed his forepaws together and put them both to his mouth to lick the pads. However, upon doing this, Chip himself was suddenly zapped from his own paws and through his tongue. His eyes were wide as he frantically pulled his paws away, his tongue stretching out as it stuck to his paws, until finally is popped off and smacked him in the face before going back inside his mouth.

Chip panted for a moment to catch his breath, then scowled down at his sparking paws, then up at the out of reach acorn, before letting out a cry of anger and slamming his electrical charged paws onto the side of the tank. As he pumped electricity into it, Chip was completely unaware of the warning labels on the side of the tank that read: "DANGER - FLAMMABLE GAS 2 - PROPANE - EXTREMELY FLAMMABLE LIQUID AND GAS UNDER PRESSURE."

BOOOOOM!

The fireball created by the exploding propane tank could easily be seen from quite a distance from any direction. What was harder to see was the was slightly charred and screaming squirrel that was sent flying up into the air by the explosion. Chip continued to scream for all he was worth as he reached the top of his arc and then came down hot in a steep descent. He zoomed downward like a javelin, with his tail straight out behind him and his limbs seemingly pinned to his sides. Chip kept on screaming, completely unaware of the electrical proto-shield that formed around his head and face, until he landed smack dab in the middle of a sandbox in a playground some distance away.

Pfft!

After the cloud of sand fell back down and settled quietly around the squirrel shaped hole, a small paw shakily reached upwards and grabbed onto the tightly compacted sand around his hole. Chip gasped for breath as he pulled himself out and crawled onto the sand, sore all over but with no serious breaks or injuries thanks to the electrostatic shield he had unconsciously created through instinct and the will to not become a furry red splat on the ground. However, Chip was very much shaken up, his fur not only standing on end, but also darkened by patches of smoky soot from the explosion.

Chip laid there for a moment, still taking loud gasping breaths to try and recover from his impromptu flight.

Clunk!

Chip squeaked out in fear when he felt something hit him on the top of his head. He quickly got up onto his feet and looked around nervously, his chest heaving in and out nervously. His big green eyes then looked down in front of him to see that it had been the very acorn he had been chasing which had also been launched skyward by the explosion. The nut was a bit charred, but seemed no worse for wear.

Chip gasped out in delight, but then looked around nervously and fidgeted with his paws, unsure if he should go for it. His stomach then let out another growl, which spurred Chip to groan and quickly snatch up the acorn with his forepaws. He stared down at the nut in his paws in disbelief, then let out a happy cheer as he held the acorn high and jumped in a happy circle. He then looked down contentedly at the acorn, his nose twitching in anticipation, and opened his mouth wide to bite into it. Just as he did this, however, the nut promptly crumbled into ash, leaving only the crispy acorn cap in his paws.

Chip's eyes widened, and he let the cap drop from his paws and his ears folded back and his green eyes got teary. Chip threw himself onto his back and began bawling out in anguish and pent up frustration. After this sudden bout of scream therapy, and tears that soaked the fur on his face, Chip finally calmed down and lay on the sand in relative silence, the only sounds coming from him were the occasional sniffle. However, the sniffling soon became curious sniffing, and Chip's little black nose spurred him to open his eyes and look.

Chip instantly flipped his body over and looked up in awe at the huge oak tree that cast its large shadow over the sandbox. Chip's large green eyes studied the tree's limbs, and saw that each one had countless, large, plump acorns on it.

Chip jumped up for joy and ran to the tree with open arms. He did his best to embrace the large, wide trunk of the tree, rubbing his cheeks against it. He then backed away from the tree, and paused when his stomach let out an even louder growl. Chip smiled and patted his stomach gently, then looked back up at the acorn laden tree branches eagerly. Just as he took a step forward, he paused as a sudden idea came to him. The idea caused a wide smile to spread across his face, and he backed up away from the tree as he rubbed his forepaws together greedily.

Chip rubbed his paws together even faster, his eyes lighting up along with the glow of his paws. Then, for good measure, he brought his bushy tail in front of him and began to rub his paws through it was well. Soon, Chip's entire body was crackling with electricity. Laughing excitedly, Chip planted both feet on the ground, and fired bolts of electricity directly at the oak tree. The massive plant appeared to glow with electrical energy like some kind of natural Tesla Coil. Then, all at once, and with a loud thunderous crack, every single acorn on the tree was pulled right off.

Chip laughed joyously as he beheld the veritable treasure trove of acorns. It seemed to him like they were all moving in slow motion, floating in space as they were all plucked free by his electrical field.

However, after about a minute, Chip released that the nuts were, in fact not moving in slow motion. His perception of time was perfectly normal. Rather, the acorns actually were floating in space, each one slightly glowing and crackling with electrical energy.

Chip was surprised by this, but still mostly spell bound as he gazed up at the floating mass of at least 2,200 acorns with curiosity and amazement. Then, Chip's tail gave a slight twitch to his right.

Thunk!

Chip squeaked out fearfully and lifted his right foot up fast just as one of the acorns suddenly shot down like a bullet and thudded into the ground less than a centimeter away from his foot. Surprised and confused, Chip slowly and carefully put his foot back down and looked back up nervously at the mass of approximately 2,199 floating acorns. He tilted his head to the left slightly, and his tail twitched to the left as well.

Thunk!

Chip cried out again jumped up onto his right foot, hugging himself with his arms and tail as he stared at the acorn that had just nearly missed crushing his left foot. He then finally noticed the state of his tail. The big, bush appendage was glowing a bright blue and was loaded with electricity. It sparked and sputtered, producing it's very own electromagnetic field. Chip then slowly looked back up at the 2,198 floating acorns, and how they all were floating through the electrostatic forces they were charge with. Chip also began to appreciate how the acorns' shape lended themselves to comparisons to bullets or tiny missiles or other such projectiles, especially when he realized that each and every acorn was aimed directly at his tail, and by extension, him.

Chip looked around nervously, with a nervous smile to match, and he slowly slid his right foot behind him. He then swiftly turned and took off running as fast as he could. He hadn't taken two steps before he began to hear the sound of acorns slamming down hard into the ground behind him. He started on running on all fours, but then switched to his hind legs so he could grab his tail and shake it wildly, trying to turn off the electromagnetic field that was causing him to be bombarded by acorns.

As he tried wringing his tail out like a damp sponge or wet rag, the loud thud of an acorn right on his heels sent him back down on all fours and spurred him to run even faster. He made a dive into the sand box and burrowed down into the hole he had made earlier. Even after his tail disappeared into the hole, acorns began to slam into the sand like artillery shells. Two larger acorns crashed into a spot at the edge of the sandbox, and in a large burst of sand, Chip came flying out with a look of terror on his face as he flailed his forepaws frantically.

Chip managed to stick the landed on the the other side of the sandbac and rushed towards the playground equipment. He reached a miniature rock climbing wall and frantically jumped from rock to rock, acorns shattered the plastic facade as Chip ascended upwards. Chip then made a sharp turn and flung himself tail first down a curly tube slide.

Just as Chip was letting out a sigh of relief at being sheltered and safe, an acorn suddenly shot through the plastic slide and narrowly missed his nose.

Chip ears shot up as acorns shot past him as he slid down the coiled tube. Several acorns came through at an angle and made a beeline towards him, causing Chip to slam his feet onto the slide and flip himself forward. This time, time really did seem to move in slow motion as Chip pulled his head in to avoid an acorn that nearly took off his ears, and then he had to scrunch himself into a ball to avoid two acorns that almost broke both his legs.

Chip rolled down the slide for the rest of the way, and unrolled himself as he flew off the lip of the slide so he could land on all fours and continue to run. Three more clouds of sand were kicked up as acorns slammed into the ground at the base of the slide, and Chip continued to run, this time headed towards the swing sets.

Chip climbed up the metal frame and ran across the top bar. Several acorns flew right by, but one acorn struck the bar dead on. This caused a powerful vibration that stopped Chip dead in his tracks. The shock sent him up on his left foot, the vibrations shooting straight through him. Just as he managed to get over it, he saw several more acorns on their way. Chip jumped up to avoid one acorn, and landed on his forepaws on the narrow bar. He leaned his body back and forth to avoid several more flying nuts, and then quickly walked in his impromptu handstand across the top bar as nuts flew by behind him.

Chip gasped as he spotted several nuts head towards his face, and performed a quick flip to avoid them. On his feet once again, Chip stood on tiptoe as he leaned back and forth to avoid a barrage of nuts, and then stepped off of the bar to dodge some more, also grabbing onto the bar with his forepaws to keep from falling. He moved paw over paw along the bar as acorns continued to fly past his back, until he finally reached one of the chains connected the swing to the frame. Chip threw himself head first at the chain and climbed downwards towards the swing seat, which turned out to be a bucket swing for smaller children. However, just as Chip landed in the bucket swing, several fast moving acorns all collided with the back of it all at once. This caused the swing to fly up and over the top of the bar before launching Chip out of the seat and into the air.

Chip wasn't sent as high as was after the explosion, but he was flung a fair distance, and landed a few feet away from the edge of the park and a metal park fence. Chip panted as he laid on his stomach, his tail sticking up straight. A loud thud of an acorn right in between his splayed out hind legs got him up and running. Chip dashed towards the park fence and quickly ran around and but his back flat against one of the metal posts. Chip put his forepaws together and shut his eyes tight as he heard the sound of countless acorns colliding with the metal fence post. The clanging and clacking went on and on and on as Chip stood trembling on the other side of it all.

Then, it stopped.

Chip opened one eye nervously, then the other eye. He listened carefully, seeing if he could make out any dangerous or foreboding sounds at all. When all he could hear was birdsong, silence, and Metropolis traffic, Chip smiled and breathed a sigh of relief, in spite of his still glowing tail. Chip took a confident step forward, and immediately fell down about three feet onto the sidewalk below.

Chip shook off his confusion and turned to see that the park wasn't level with the streets and sidewalk outside of it, and there was a stone retaining wall underneath the fence. Still relatively exhausted, Chip put a forepaw against the stone wall to steady himself so he could catch his breath.

Then, his ears picked up five loud whizzing sounds.

Chip turned and gasped to see that six acorns had zipped through the fence and were floating a few feet in front of him. The nuts had stopped in mid air, still electrically charged and attracted to Chip's tail, and were spinning around as they floated. The nuts then slowly began to turn in mid air so that their points were all aimed at Chip.

Chip swallowed a lump in his throat and took a timid step to his left.

Crack!

Chip squeaked out and and threw his back flat against against the stone wall as an acorn imbedded itself into the stone a centimeter in front of his left foot.

Crack!

The second acorn nearly got Chip's right foot as it shot right into the wall right as Chip raised his foot quickly.

Crack!

Chip moved his head to the side to avoid the third acorn, his chest heaving up and down as his face showed nothing but pure terror.

Crack-Crack!

The fourth and fifth acorn both narrowly avoided hitting Chip, the both of them sticking into the wall under his armpits.

Chip's eyes were lazer focused on the sixth and final acorn. The nut was still spinning and sparking as it lowered slightly so that it was level with the base of Chip's tail and general lower body area, and said tail was still loaded with electrical charge and glowing bright than ever. Horror and despair welled up inside of Chip as he suddenly realized exactly where this final acorn was pointed towards and where it was going to hit him, but he dared not move lest he cause the nut to make its final attack.

Chip's nose twitched like crazy as he beheld the spinning, and now glowing, nut. His heart pounded in time with the pulsing light of his charged up tail.

Then, his tail made one errant twitch.

The nut shot forward.

Click!

Chip let out a long, loud gasp as he beheld the acorn in his paws. In an all or nothing gamble, in a feat of lightning fast reflexes and foresight, and Chip had reached down and caught the nutty projectile with his forepaws before it could hit it's intended target.

Chip slid down the side of the stone wall as if he were melting, still holding onto the final acorn. Then, his stomach let out a loud growl, and Chip's hunger returned in full force. He blinked, stared down at the acorn he was holding, and shrugged before lifting it up to his mouth.

Zap!

Chip's eyes snapped open wide after his still charged up tail zapped the acorn he was holding. He stared at it for a moment, and then could only watch as the nut cumbled to ash, leaving the acorn cap behind. Chip dropped the cap and stood staring off into space, then his eyes lit up in realization, and he got up and turned around to see the five acorns embedded in the wall. He grabbed one with both both paws and pulled with all his might, only to grunt and struggle to budge it. He stopped for a moment to catch his breath, then the glowing and crackling of his tail gave him another idea.

Chip stepped back for the wall and grabbed his tail in his forepaws. Wielding it like a minigun, the squirrel laughed a bit as he aimed it at one of the nuts and squeezed. His tail sent out small bolts of electricity towards the nut, and the nut appeared to vibrate and move. Chip smiled and nodded his head eagerly, but was caught off guard when the nut suddenly shattered with a small explosion. Chip's face was that of disappointment, which increased when the electrical glow of his tail faded as all the charge had finally left it.

Undaunted, Chip raised his forepaws, took aim at two of four remaining acorns in the wall, and unleashed some bolts at them. Chip licked his teeth and made a pulling motioned with his forepaws, only for the two acorns to explode as well. Furious, Chip ran over to one of the last two, grabbed it, and pulled. His anger charged up his paws with electricity, and the nut he was pulling on also exploded, sending Chip flat on his back.

Chip laid there for a moment, staring up at the sky in disbelief, until his stomach growled loudly once again. Chip got back up onto his feet, marched right up to the last remaining acorn embedded in the wall, and took a deep breath. He then carefully grabbed hold of the acorn, put both his feet flat up against the wall, took another deep breath to calm himself, and then pulled with all his might until his eyes bulged so much that they appeared to pop right out of their sockets.

Pop!

Chip fell flat on his back once again and panted loudly. Then smiled and laughed delightedly as he realized that he'd pulled out the acorn. He rolled over and saw the nut lying in the street only a few feet away from him. He jumped up onto his feet and cheerfully walked over to the edge of the sidewalk.

Just in time to see a bus drive by and run over the acorn.

Chip stood frozen solid, his right forepaw extended in vain as his cheerful smile became open mouthed disbelief. He quickly began to hyperventilate, his eyes began tearing up again before he grabbed his ears and pulled on them hard. With a cry of anguish, Chip once again fell flat on his back and wailed and sobbed over everything that had happened to him in less than an hour. He laid there in emotional pain and agony for some time, until his little black nose once again spurred Chip to open up his eyes.

Chip did so, and at the same time, became very much aware of very good smell.

Chip turned around, and his jaw dropped as he saw a large sized, brand new, freshly opened jar of crunchy peanut butter.

Chip closed his eyes tightly, then opened them. The jar was still there. He pinched himself. The jar was still there. He smacked himself across the face. The jar was still there.

Chip's tears of anguish were replaced by tears of joy as he sprang up into the air and dived headfirst right into the open jar. He grabbed the sides of the jar as he shoved his face into its contents. He came back up for air after about 10 seconds, wiping his nose and chewing on chunks of roasted peanut. The white fur around his mouth, as well as his whiskers, were coated with peanut butter, not that Chip even cared at the moment. He then swallowed, and dived back in, fully intending on repeating this process until the jar was empty.

Meanwhile, Krypto the Superdog watched from above with a smile. It didn't take long for him to put out the propane fire with his freeze breath and clean up all the damage with his super speed and super strength. Then, with his enhanced x-ray vision, he was quickly able to spot Chip and observer his plight. Krypto doubted that Clark would mind the disappearance of a jar of peanut butter all that much. Besides, why kind of dog would he be if he wasn't loyal to his friends? Not to mention the fact that Chip was one of the pets that had saved the Justice League.

So, Krypto was content in smiling and winking at the oblivious squirrel before taking off with a "Ruff, ruff, and away!"

The End

Fun Fact: Did you know that in 1981, the Sunnyland Refining Co. introduced Superman peanut butter when they began putting the Superman image on jars of their crunchy and creamy peanut butter? There was even a fully animated commercial in 1985 in which Lex Luthor uses Kryptonite to try and force Superman to tell him the recipe for it, only to be foiled by a group of children who love the taste of Superman Peanut Butter! The More You Know. . .