Trigger warnings: self-deprecation, panic attacks, mentions of previous violent injuries
Varian hadn't said more than five full sentences since his rescue.
That was a week ago.
And yes, Hector had counted.
Oh, the child gave plenty of monosyllabic responses when Hector tried to strike up a conversation. Yes, no, fine, eh, sure. The longest single word he got out of the kid was "whatever."
Something was drastically wrong.
Try as he might, Hector could get no conversation out of the boy. Varian was always silent and reserved, but never like this. Hector would have thought that rescuing him would help him come out of his shell a bit, not send him further into it. Even asking him if he wanted to hear more about the Brotherhood only got him a vague shrug and half-hearted attention. Mocking the Flynn Rider books got him a slight ghost of a smile that faded as fast as it came.
He tried asking Ruddiger what was wrong. The raccoon only shrugged helplessly.
Ruddiger was the only one who could get any proper response out of the boy. His antics at least brought a smile to his face. Sometimes he even got Varian to laugh.
And, of course, there was Ruddiger himself. The raccoon wouldn't stop glaring at Hector.
The day of the rescue, Ruddiger, Riki, and Artemis and raced into the clearing and saw the other three lying on the ground, covered in blood. Ruddiger had curled up next to Varian and started chittering angrily at Hector. When Varian had asked what was wrong—his first of five sentences to come in the next week—Hector had told him that all he did was leave the raccoon on a rock and told him not to move unless something big tried to eat him and he wasn't sure why the critter was looking at him like that. It occurred to him then that perhaps Ruddiger would have liked to fight for his human.
So now he had a silent child, a grumpy raccoon, and a wounded bearcat to try to deal with all at once. Kiki's injuries were not severe, but he didn't need to be carrying a child, no matter how small he was, so Hector managed to convince Varian to ride with him on Riki. Well, maybe not "convinced" as much as told. Varian didn't argue, despite his dislike of being touched and being near people, which was Hector's first clue that something was wrong.
Now it was a week later, and they were stopping to make camp in a small cave in a cliffside. It was small and secure, with a second opening towards the back so they wouldn't get penned in if there was an emergency. "I'm getting firewood," Hector stated bluntly. "Stay here and don't move."
"Yes, sir."
Hector raised an eyebrow. Not exactly monosyllabic, not exactly a full sentence. He glanced over at the boy, who sat curled up beside Kiki, Ruddiger curled up beside him. Dark circles under his eyes spoke of sleepless nights. At least something was speaking, because Varian wouldn't. No matter how many times he asked how he was, the answer was always "fine."
They were moving much too fast for Varian, at least in Hector's professional opinion. He was still weakened from his months in prison, and their breakneck speed, while great for getting away from Corona and outpacing the princess, was not at all beneficial to the child's health. Considering how far they had come, perhaps it wouldn't hurt to slow down a bit. Maybe they'd take a break for a day or two.
The mountain region they had entered was not as wooded as the areas they had left behind. Hector's cautious mind warned him to stay close to shelter, as being out in the open was a recipe for disaster. Then again, their last disaster had happened in the woods, so…
Returning to the campsite with the small pile of firewood he managed to scrounge, he found Varian fast asleep. Yeah, they'd definitely need to take a break. Ruddiger looked up at him sullenly as he stepped into the cave, apparently still bitter.
"Don't look at me like that," the man grumbled. "We didn't know what we were up against. How would the kid feel if you got snapped in half by a lion, huh?"
Ruddiger growled and snuggled closer to his boy.
"Whatever. Be grouchy if you want. I'm starting supper, so we'll wake the kid up in an hour or so." He built the fire by the entrance of the cave and started cooking some birds Artemis had struck down earlier in the day. While the meat cooked, he sat against the rock wall and pulled his latest project out of his bag. Retrieving a needle and some thread, he quickly sewed the fur he had skinned off a fox yesterday to the material. He had been working on this in secret over the last few days, whenever Varian wasn't looking. He examined the finished work. Well, almost finished.
He retrieved a piece of wood from the small pile and started carving. The gift needed one more embellishment. Ideally, he would use metal for this part, but that would have to wait until they reached the Tree. Hector thought he had a spare somewhere. As he worked, he noticed Ruddiger watching him curiously.
"It's for him," he explained. "Figured he could use it. What do you think?" He held up the cloth. Ruddiger examined it skeptically, his head tilted. "As soon as it's finished, I'll give it to him."
The raccoon's eyes suddenly lit up. He scampered over to where Hector was sitting and started scratching in the dirt. He made fourteen marks with his claw. Then he pointed at Varian, chittered excitedly, and drew a fifteenth mark.
It wasn't too hard to decipher the meaning. "He's turning fifteen? When?"
Ruddiger scratched out four more marks.
"Four days, huh? And you didn't tell me?"
The raccoon hissed angrily.
"Whatever. I think we can work something out." He smirked. "What do you say, ringtail? Think we should go shopping?"
The critter grinned mischievously. Hector's was equally as mischievous. Perhaps this was just what Varian needed to bring him out of his mood.
O‴O‴O‴
Varian was scared.
No, scratch that. He was terrified.
While they traveled, he had plenty of time to think. His mind always came back around to one point.
His rescue.
His second rescue.
How many times would Hector come back for him? How many times would Varian find himself coming between the warrior and his mission? How long until Hector decided he was no longer worth the trouble and left him?
Hector had told him all about how he found him the week before. The thought that he had been trapped in a cage frightened him, but at least he hadn't known. He had been happy in the dream world. He had been ready to leave his past behind him. In fact, the spell had resulted in him losing his memory completely, so he had had no reason to worry whatsoever. He would have been just fine if Hector had chosen to leave and never come back for him. He had only been freed from the trance because his mind knew such happiness was false. If he had held on to it, if he had been able to convince himself that it was true, he could have lived there quite peaceably, thank you very much.
As much as he told himself this, though, he knew he was lying. He was glad Hector came. He was glad he was human once more.
And that was the other problem.
He was glad.
Truthfully, that scared him. He wasn't used to people wanting to help him. Wanting to take care of him. The only person who did that was his dad. Varian had spent so long hardening himself to all the harshness directed his way that Hector's kindness and compassion left him at a loss. The walls he had built had no way of stopping such things. And the lack of defense left him feeling open and vulnerable.
He had learned his lesson about trust the hard way. Every fiber of his being craved for him to put his trust in Hector, but he couldn't. Not when the man could easily leave him defenseless in the wilderness. Not when a single unguarded thought or word could reveal the true darkness within the boy and cause Hector to decide he wasn't worthwhile. It was only a matter of time before he was left on his own again, the way he always was.
And perhaps that would be for the better. He would no longer be a bother, a distraction. Hector would be able to go to the Tree and stop the princess without having to worry about him.
Because of this, he started pulling back. He kept his distance, not taking the opportunities that presented themselves to get to know his uncle better. The more familiar he got with him, the harder it would be when that day finally came. If this was what it took to spare himself that heartache, then so be it. It was a small price to pay to protect himself. It was the only wall he could build.
O‴O‴O‴
Hector announced that night that they would be staying at the cave for a few days. "We're all tired. We deserve a break. And I don't know about you, but I personally don't like the feel of a lion's claws on my side, and I need a breather." His injuries from the fight were sore and achy, he claimed. Technically, that was true. But he also had a plan.
After three days, Hector and Ruddiger got to work.
"I need you to stay here for a bit," he informed Varian. "There's a town nearby. I need to pick up a few supplies, and you still need to lay low."
Varian nodded before returning to his book.
"Ruddiger, come on."
That got the kid's attention. "You're taking Ruddiger?"
"Just for a bit. Figured he could help pick out stuff the two of you like to eat."
Varian watched him skeptically. Seeing this, Ruddiger curled around Varian's shoulders affectionately before jumping off and climbing onto Hector's.
"We'll be back in a bit. You have Kiki. Artemis is hunting, but she'll be around. Send one of them if anything goes wrong." With those parting words, the conspirators climbed onto Riki's back and disappeared.
He felt mildly guilty at leaving the kid like that, but the point of a surprise was to be a surprise.
The town wasn't far from their hiding place, maybe twelve miles, and they reached it in about ten minutes. They set to work, going shop to shop and picking up everything they would need. Their first stop was a clothing store. They had burned Varian's old rags the night they had stopped in Vardaros. The kid had made the snarky comment that they provided more warmth then than they ever did in prison. And Hector hadn't forgotten his decision to get the kid some better outfits. Nothing too fancy. The kid needed something practical. But if he happened to pick up a few things that were just a bit nicer than what one would wear as survival gear, well, no one could blame him.
At the next store, they grabbed a backpack. After that came a set of books (not those inaccurate Flynn Rider things). They kept going, Hector's bag growing heavier and heavier. Finally, though, Ruddiger screeched excitedly and jumped off the man's shoulder. He ran over to a store and looked in the window.
Hector followed his gaze. "Are you sure, rat?"
Ruddiger ignored the insult and pointed inside.
"'Kay. You know the kid better than me. Let's go." He lifted the raccoon back to his shoulder and entered the store. The proprietor gave them several suspicious glances, especially when he noticed that the animal was the one making the selections. Hector picked up everything Ruddiger selected and took them to the counter. The purchases were wrapped up in brown paper and placed in the backpack.
As they started to return, the gleam of gold metal caught his attention. He quickly stepped behind a cart as three Coronan soldiers walked past and entered a small building nearby.
What the crap were they doing here? As they disappeared, he slipped across the street and ducked into an alleyway next to the building. He spied through one of the windows as they greeted a fourth soldier. They were looking over some papers sitting on a desk.
"They're not sure which way he went. They're just trying to cover all their bases," one said.
"Imagine that," a second one added. "If we found the brat, we could probably get promoted. Say goodbye to this dump. Did you send the letter back?"
"Yeah," the third one spoke up. "I still think it's a waste of time. They sent the pigeon over two weeks ago, and there's not been a single sight of the kid."
"Well, there wouldn't be, at least not yet." Soldier #4 stood and started pacing. "He can't move all that fast. It'd probably take him another week or two to get to this point, and that's if he managed to steal a horse. Or his accomplice might have one."
"If he's even coming this way," #3 said. He looked up at the wanted posters tacked to the wall, apparently having been received by carrier pigeon from the capital.
Hector drew back. He had heard enough. How had they managed to come to the one town that had Coronan guards stationed here? Whatever. He would keep Varian far, far away. And they'd be moving on soon.
They returned to the cave to find Varian still reading his book. He glanced up as they came in and held out a hand for Ruddiger, who ran over and tucked himself into the kid's side. He waved at Hector silently.
"We should probably move out either today or tomorrow," the man said casually. "We're making good time, but we need to keep going. The sooner we reach the Tree, the better."
Varian nodded absentmindedly. He didn't even look in Hector's direction.
Hector sighed. He knew from watching his siblings growing up that this type of silence came from an inner pain. Whatever was going on in Varian's head, there was nothing he could do until Varian decided to let him help. Hopefully, tomorrow would bring about a positive change.
If not, he would keep being patient. He would do so for as long as he needed to.
O‴O‴O‴
The fourth day in the cave, Hector asked Varian to go get firewood. That was nothing new. What was new was that Ruddiger didn't come with him. The raccoon shook his head and turned his attention back to the apple Hector had handed him out of the bag.
Confused, Varian went to get the wood by himself. He had never seen Ruddiger act this way. True, he was obsessed with apples, but he would usually just take it with him while he accompanied Varian. Plus, there was him leaving with Hector the day before. He pushed away the worry that tried to creep into his mind. Ruddiger was his best friend. He wouldn't turn away from Varian, certainly. Sure, he had been mutated and used as a distraction while Varian carried out the first steps of his dark plan, but he had forgiven him!
Hadn't he?
Varian bit his lip. He didn't deserve Ruddiger's friendship any more than he deserved Hector's kindness or the queen's mercy. That the raccoon had stayed with him as long as he had was a miracle. At least when Hector left him, Ruddiger would have someone else to go with, someone who was better at taking care of pets. Someone he deserved.
Holding the bits of wood he had managed to collect in the crook of his right arm, he returned to the cave. As he entered, he saw Hector, standing up on Riki's back and trying to attach something to the wall. Several other somethings were attached to the rest of the walls. Were those… streamers? Where had those even come from?
Hopping off Riki, Hector turned toward the mouth of the cave and yelped when he saw Varian. "Ah, crap! You're back! Umm… I meant, SURPRISE!" He threw something at Varian, who gasped and dropped the wood, holding his right arm up to protect his face. The something also happened to be a roll of streamers. "Crap! I'm sorry! That was dumb." He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "Anyway, surprise?"
Varian stared in shock. The cave had been decorated with colorful paper. Streamers had been tacked to the wall to read "Happy Birthday, Varian!" A pile of objects wrapped in paper sat nearby, a plate of cookies on top. Ruddiger was trying to sneak a paw towards the cookies. He stopped when Hector shot a glare his way.
"Wha… what is—what is this?" Varian tried to wrap his mind around this, but it wasn't adding up. What day was this? "What's going on?"
"Um, a surprise party. Are you surprised?"
"…Yeah. Wait, I'm fifteen? Or sixteen? I lost track of time."
"The rat says you're fifteen today. You just going to stand there, or are you actually going to open everything we spent hours shopping for yesterday?" He motioned Varian towards the pile of gifts.
"This… this is for me?"
"Well, do you know another Varian who hangs out in a cave with the best uncle in the world? Now open your presents. And eat those cookies before the rat steals them."
"Raccoon."
"Whatever. Open this one first." Hector grinned like a child and held out one of the packages. Varian used his good hand to balance against the wall as he slid down to a seated position and took it. He attempted vainly to pull the strings tying it up, but it was difficult with one hand. Ruddiger came over and held the gift down so Varian could open it.
Inside the paper was a fur-lined cloak with a wooden clasp carved to match the Brotherhood symbol attached to Hector's. Varian held up the cloak, his eyes wide. "This is… I love it!"
"I made it from your dad's old one. Hope you don't mind."
He shook his head. "It's amazing. Thank you." Surprised to find tears springing to his eyes, he pulled the cloak around his shoulders. Ruddiger helped him latch it. "When did you do this?"
Hector shrugged nonchalantly, though it was easy to see he was thrilled his gift had gone over so well. "Eh, here and there when you weren't paying attention. Open the rest."
Varian complied, opening up a set of books, a sketchbook, quill pens and ink, pencils, new clothes, a pair of boots, fingerless gloves, several small metal puzzles, a set of knives, and a bag of candy bigger than Ruddiger. Finally, Hector nudged one last gift towards him. Varian pulled the paper off to reveal a new backpack.
As he started to express his thanks, Hector said, "Open it. There's one more present."
Varian opened the bag and pulled out a small object made of glass. It took a moment for his mind to register what it was. Then he gasped and dropped it. It fell from his hand to the soft dirt with a thud. The startled child drew back, pressing his small frame against the cave wall. His vision blurred, and his breathing grew ragged.
"Kid?" Hector's concerned voice sounded so distant, though he was only a few feet away. "Varian, what's wrong? Talk to me." Ruddiger was pawing at his leg, trying to get his attention. All Varian could see was that small glass vial on the floor and the rest of the contents of the now-overturned bag…
He was screaming. Tears were streaming down his face. The guard grabbed his hair and held him still while the second one put a heavy hand on his shoulder and pressed him into the surface of the table. The cuffs kept his hands and feet still, and the collar kept him from jerking away. The second guard brought his left hand up, the vial glowing softly. The only other person in the room was watching from a distance, off to Varian's right. Then it was burning, burning, and he was screaming—
"Varian! Varian, look at me, please!"
That voice. That voice was good. It meant safety.
"Varian, it's okay. I'm right here, 'kay? I'm right here. You're safe."
Varian tried to focus on that voice, but his mind had locked itself away as securely as the cell that had once held him. He was trapped inside his head, staring blindly at the vials and beakers on the ground, some empty and some filled with horrible, horrible substances…
A hand roughly grabbed his jaw and forced his mouth open. The liquid was burning his throat, choking him. He tried to spit it out to no avail. Then the questioning began. "Did you kill your father?" He denied it. The dagger slid across his upper arm. The question was repeated. Again he denied. Again the sting of the dagger being drawn across his skin accompanied it. Over and over and over and over and over and over until he forced the lie past his lips—
"Varian, if you can hear me, I'm going to tell you a story, 'kay? Once upon a time, there were three siblings. The bravest, the sister, dared her brothers to go into the tallest tower of the castle they lived at and stand in the window. The youngest brother took the dare, and late one night, he crept up the stairs to the top of the tower and opened the room. Inside, there was a single window. He stood on the very edge and looked out over the kingdom. It was so big and beautiful, and he felt like he could fly! But he lost his balance and started to fall. As he fell, he felt someone grab his wrists. He looked up to see his brother and sister holding on to him. They pulled him back inside. The sister apologized for daring him to do that, and she and the brothers promised that they would always look out for each other. They would always be there to catch each other if they fell."
O‴O‴O‴
Twilight fell, and Varian started coming to himself. As truly as Hector had pulled him out of that prison cell two weeks ago, now his voice pulled Varian from the cage of his mind and back to reality. Ruddiger curled up beside Varian, hesitant to touch him during his attack but wanting to provide comfort. The bag with all its offending contents was hidden. After what seemed like an eternity, Varian's breathing steadied and he looked up at Hector. He was shaking like a leaf, and tears streamed down his face, but he was coming back to reality.
Hector breathed a sigh of relief. He had no idea how to properly deal with a panic attack. Touching Varian was off limits. He didn't dare knock him unconscious. In desperation, he had just started talking. He told stories about the Brotherhood, about the Dark Kingdom, of the time he had rescued the bearcats from the lab of an evil wizard and decided to keep them. He kept his voice steady and low, the way he would speak to a frightened animal.
Varian slowly started to uncurl from the ball he had shrunk into. He wrapped his good arm around himself and met Hector's eyes. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'm sorry I'm sorry I d-didn't mean—"
"You're okay," Hector interrupted. "Hey, don't apologize for that. I'm sorry. I had no idea that would affect you that way. This was my fault."
Varian shook his head. He reached out to stroke Ruddiger's fur. The little raccoon looked as distressed as Hector felt. Apparently, he hadn't known either.
"Thank you," Varian continued. "I'm—I'm sorry I ruined your surprise."
"It's okay. As long as you're okay, that's all I care about."
The tears hadn't stopped falling yet. "But you were so excited, and then I had to go and ruin it with my stupid attack, and I'm so sorry!" He hung his head.
"Hey, kiddo, look at me." He waited until Varian looked up again. "Look, that's not what this is about. All this was was us trying to do something good for you. We just wanted to help you, to show you we care about you. So don't worry about messing anything up, 'kay?"
To his surprise, the boy stared at him as if he couldn't comprehend. Had he said something wrong? He thought back over what he had told him. Nothing stood out as being problematic. Why did the kid look like he'd seen a ghost?
"You…" Varian's voice was soft and uncertain. "You care about me?"
Often as a child in training, Hector would be up against an opponent much larger than him. This typically resulted in him being body-slammed roughly. That was exactly the way that sentence hit him.
"Yeah. Yeah, I do," he rasped. "Why the crap would you think I wouldn't?"
Varian shrugged helplessly. "People… people don't usually care about people like me. I only ever remember my dad caring. And Ruddiger."
"King Edmund's silk nightshirt, kid! All right, forget what everyone else thinks. I care, and that's what matters. Got it?"
The child stared at him in surprise. Then he cracked a small smile. "'King Edmund's silk nightshirt'?"
Hector groaned. The expression had slipped from his tongue before he thought about it, and he almost expected Quirin to slap him in the back of the head for being disrespectful. "Don't ever tell anyone I taught you that, 'kay?"
Varian nodded solemnly. Then he burst out laughing. Hector sighed and shook his head, though he too was grinning. "Your dad hated when I said that. Told me I was being 'insubordinate' or something like that."
Varian brushed his hand over the Brotherhood symbol on his cloak. "He was the one who chose you and my dad and Ms. Adira, right?"
Hector tried not to laugh. Of course Varian would call her "Ms. Adira." "That's right. He's a good man."
His head tilted slightly. "Why did he choose you?"
"My skill. I was a top warrior in the Dark Kingdom by the time I was seventeen. That's when he picked me. He also saw my dedication."
"To what?"
"Everything. My work. My training. My fellow knights."
The boy bit his lip. "Is that why you chose to guard the Tree? Ms. Adira left to go find the Sundrop. My dad chose to go to Corona and start over. But you stayed."
Hector sighed and leaned back, propping his hands behind him and stretching his legs out. "Yep. I love my siblings, but they didn't have the same dedication to the mission. I'd've thought Quirin would have been the most loyal. I can't exactly understand why he left. Adira, I kind of understand. She wants to 'fix' the problem. It's still treason, though."
"If you're so dedicated, why'd you take time to come after me last week?"
Hector's breath hitched. "What?"
"When the weirdos took me. Why didn't you just leave?" The boy's gaze was searching, curious.
"Truthfully? I don't know. I was worried I might have to. I didn't want to. I told you, I care about you."
Varian nodded. His eyes had started to flutter closed. Given the recent events, Hector couldn't blame him for being tired.
"You hungry? It's getting late."
He shook his head.
"Maybe we'd better get some sleep. We'll head out in the morning, 'kay?"
Varian nodded. He tried to stand, but he was still shaking. Hector motioned for him to stop. The man retrieved the pallets from where they had been shoved towards the back of the cave and pulled them forward. The child curled up with Ruddiger and wrapped his blanket around himself as if it could keep out all the dangers of the world. The sight made Hector smile fondly. No matter what the boy had been through, he was still just a child.
Hector placed a few more sticks on the fire and leaned against the cave wall. Something about alchemy had caused a negative reaction for Varian. Even Ruddiger didn't seem to know why. He would need to make sure to keep anything like that away from the kid. He'd throw out the supplies in the morning.
"Uncle Hector?"
He turned to look at Varian, who was watching him through half-closed eyes. Well, eye. "Yeah?"
"I'm glad he chose you."
His throat constricted—more than likely from allergies, not at all from emotion; there was so much pollen around here—and he responded, "Thanks, kiddo."
O‴O‴O‴
Varian listened until he heard Hector's breathing change to indicate he had finally fallen asleep. He sat up and nudged Ruddiger. The raccoon stretched and yawned, grumbling when he saw it was not morning.
Quickly pulling a page from the sketchbook, he scratched a note from the light of the moon. He took off the cloak, folded it carefully, and placed it by Hector with the note on top. Then he picked up the backpack and held out his arm for Ruddiger to climb onto his shoulder. The raccoon chittered questioningly.
"Sorry, bud," he whispered softly. "We can't stay. Well, you can if you want. I mean, I want you to stay with me, but if you'd rather go with him you can."
Ruddiger glared at him and curled tighter around his neck.
His faithfulness warmed Varian's heart. He got to keep his best friend with him! He blinked back tears and steeled his nerves. The backpack weighed heavily against his thin shoulders, but the weight had nothing to do with its physical aspects. The sooner he dealt with that, the better.
At the entrance to the cave, he paused and looked back. Hector was still sleeping soundly. The bearcats were piled up together. Artemis was perched nearby on the bags.
He bit his lip and tried to keep from crying. All this time he had been waiting on Hector to leave him. He never thought he would be the one walking away. It felt wrong, evil, like he was betraying the only person who cared about him.
But he had made up his mind. The events of that evening had determined his course of action. He had no choice.
"I'm sorry," he whispered softly, knowing Hector would never hear the words. Then he turned and started walking.
O‴O‴O‴
Hector always prided himself on being alert. Not much got past him, and he was a light sleeper. That last fact alone was the current problem. There was no way Varian should be gone.
His first thought upon waking up the next morning and seeing the boy's pallet empty was that someone had kidnapped him. That was the only thing that made sense. But how would anyone have gotten in here without him noticing and snatched the child?
He knew he shouldn't have let his guard down! Those blasted soldiers from the town were undoubtedly responsible for this. Hector had planned to set a watch that night, but Varian's panic attack had made him forget completely. Coronan soldiers didn't have the skill necessary to sneak past him, though!
As soon as he realized Varian was missing, he roused the animals and started looking around. There was no way anyone would get in here and get out with his nephew without leaving at least a few tracks and signs. Maybe they had sneaked through the back entrance. As he looked, his eyes fell on the scrap of paper sitting on Varian's cloak next to where he had been sleeping. The cloak was folded neatly, not thrown about like he would have expected. Picking up the paper, expecting a ransom note, his heart slammed to a stop as he read.
Dear Uncle Hector,
Please forgive me. I have to go away. And please don't blame yourself. You didn't do anything wrong. In fact, if it wasn't for you, I'd still be stuck back there. You gave me my life back. Thank you. But I can't be a burden on you. You said you care about me. I don't understand why, but I believe you. Because of that, I've been in the way. I can't keep coming between you and your mission. You shouldn't have come to rescue me last week. You should have gone on to the tree. You're dedicated to the mission, and I can't get in the way. I'll be fine, so don't worry about me. Go stop the princess. And please don't follow me.
Your nephew,
Varian.
For the record, I am not a professional on writing panic attacks, so please bear with me if it was completely inaccurate. I have witnessed panic attacks before, but I know I'm still not educated enough on them. Please let me know if there's any way I can improve.
As always, constructive criticism is greatly appreciated. Thank you and God bless!