Sorry about the delay; I was dealing with some things. Hopefully I'll get this back on a Monday update schedule!
Varian was not sure what to expect after his revelations to Hector.
Overprotective dad figure was not it.
That's what he got.
The next week after that night was spent trying to convince Hector he was not a porcelain doll. Sure, he was small and breakable, but he was stronger than he looked. He had survived up until this point, hadn't he? He had made it past all the accidents his experiments resulted in, a blizzard, a month of house arrest with hardly any food, the battle, six months of prison torture, getting turned into a cat and nearly killed, and getting arrested again. Climbing a tree was nothing compared to that.
"CAREFUL!"
His sudden fall was brought to an abrupt halt as he landed in a pair of strong arms underneath him.
"Just because I said you didn't have to wear the sling does not mean you can climb trees!" Hector sat Varian on his feet, but he kept his hands on his shoulders like he'd fall to bits if the warrior let go. "You're still recovering! What were you thinking?"
Varian looked up at Artemis, who sat on a nearby branch watching him. "Snitch," he muttered. The bird had kept an annoyingly close eye on him over the last week. She was probably the one who brought Hector to him. "I was thinking I wanted an apple."
"And the raccoon couldn't get one for you?" He glared at Ruddiger, who glared back.
"I wanted to get it myself."
Hector groaned and put his head in his hands. "You're going to be the death of me. Can you not be careful for five minutes? Just five!"
"Sorry."
"Why were you climbing a tree? I mean, I get the apple thing, but seriously, you could have let Ruddiger get it!"
Varian shuffled his feet. "I'm… I suppose I'm just tired of being… tired. I haven't done anything in so long. Just survived. I'm ready to not be injured. I just want to be able to do the things I used to do. Climb trees. Go swimming. That sort of stuff."
"I know, I know. Just… wait a bit longer, okay? And tell me when you're going to do stupid stuff so I can watch out for you. 'Kay?"
"'Kay. I mean, yes sir."
Hector rolled his eyes. "''Kay' is fine. I'm not stuffy."
"Right. So… can I start training yet?"
"Were you even listening?!"
Varia groaned and crossed his arms. Or tried to, anyway.
Hector gave a bone-weary sigh. "And I never thought I'd miss the days when you didn't do anything. Just—give your arm a few more weeks, 'kay? We've got a ways to go, and you've got time. I'll train you. But you need to get better first."
"'Kay."
Hector tilted his head in consideration. Then he jumped up, planted one foot on the trunk of the tree, sprang up, unsheathed his sword, and sliced one of the apples off by the stem. He dropped to the ground in time to cut the apple in two as it fell, catching both halves in one hand. He then gave it to Varian. "There. Have an apple."
The boy stared wide-eyed. Then he smirked. "You know the raccoon could've gotten it, right?"
Hector stuck his tongue out. "Smartmouth."
O‴O‴O‴
Hector wasn't sure what to expect after Varian's revelations to him.
Hyper child with absolutely no regard for personal safety was not it.
That's what he got.
As time passed, Varian came out of his shell more and more. That was good. What was not good was his insistence on doing things he had no business doing. Thus the tree incident. Hector dreaded to think what would have happened to Varian if Artemis had not told him something was wrong.
The next week, he caught Varian trying to beat the dickens out of a tree with a stick.
After that was the time he thought he had recovered enough to try balancing standing up on Kiki's back as the bearcat crossed a canyon by a rickety bridge and GET BACK HERE YOU TWO THIS IS NOT THE TIME AND PLACE TO ACT LIKE FOOLS!
All in all, he was at his wit's end.
Worst of all, he was turning into Quirin.
The thought made him shudder. All those years being the carefree, does-as-he-pleases youngest brother, and now he was suddenly a Quirin clone.
He had no idea what to do. Over the last few weeks, Varian had become an entirely different person. He was no longer the timid child Hector had rescued. He held himself taller, talked more smoothly, and acted like a proper fifteen-year-old. Getting his burdens off his chest had apparently been good for him.
The change came about gradually but steadily. A sarcastic joke here, a random tangent about the types of trees native to this region there. He smiled more and goofed off with the others. The more time passed, the more he seemed to be at ease. He didn't look over his shoulder the way he had earlier.
Trouble started when he got the sling off. Suddenly he was invincible, able to do all the things he had previously done. Hector, baffled by the change, rapidly attempted to adjust. That meant keeping a closer eye on Varian and often enlisting the help of Artemis and the bearcats. Ruddiger was too close to Varian to snitch, although he did come to the warrior when the boy got himself in trouble.
Now, five weeks from the first rescue, Hector was trying (albeit unsuccessfully) to avoid panicking as Riki ran up to him and started yowling. Remembering that the bearcat had gone on a walk with Varian (this was one of the rare occasions Ruddiger had stayed behind), his mind immediately jumped to all the things that could possibly have gone wrong. He could have fallen into a pit. Or fainted. Or run across a wild animal. But no, Riki would have stayed to fight!
He followed Riki back the way the bearcat had come. The two of them found Varian huddled up at the base of a tree, the fur-lined hood of his maroon cloak hiding his face. He clutched something to his chest tightly.
Hector knelt down next to him. "You okay, kid?"
"Fine."
"What's the matter?"
"Nothing." He sounded like he'd been crying. Hector couldn't see his face yet, though.
"Nothing, huh? Then I don't suppose you'd mind coming out from under your hood and talking to me?"
"No."
Once again, Hector found himself at a loss. Sure, Varian had had his fair share of low moods, but not usually like this. And he didn't appear to be hurt. "'Kay. You know the way back to camp. Do you want Riki to stay with you?"
"No."
He nodded, though Varian couldn't see. "We're going back, then. Join us when you're up to it."
"'Kay."
They returned to the campsite. Ruddiger, upon seeing them, immediately leaped up from the apple he was snacking on and started screeching angrily at Riki. The message was clear: Where's my boy? You were supposed to be watching him! How dare you leave him alone!
"Easy, rat," Hector grumbled, holding out a hand placatingly. "The kid just needs some personal space, huh? Give him time. He'll come back." He turned to Artemis, who was watching them bemusedly. "Keep an eye on him for us, would you?"
She spread her wings and flew off in the direction he and Riki had come from. Confident that she would alert him if Varian got into more trouble than he could handle, Hector settled by the fire and waited. As he waited, he redid the braids in his hair. The motion was soothing, familiar, and his practiced fingers flew with a mind of their own.
He'd have to do something with Varian's hair. It was long and shaggy from six months of prison. The man grinned as he remembered that first night in Vardaros, when Varian had decimated nearly an entire bar of soap, turning his raven hair white. He had kept himself fastidiously clean after that. But he'd nearly tripped over a pile of firewood just the other day because his bangs fell in his face over his left eye.
A soft noise at the edge of the campsite caught his attention. He looked up to see Varian standing there. The boy walked over to Hector and sat next to him, letting the object he clutched tightly fall to his lap. It was the picture of the Brotherhood Hector had brought from Old Corona.
"I'm confused," Varian admitted without being prompted. "The closer we get to the Great Tree, the more I realize how… real this is. I may never go back there. I may never see him again. I don't even know if he's still alive. Probably not. But I can't even bury his body. I'm trying to move on, but I don't know what to do."
Hector waited, assuming Varian wasn't done.
After a minute, he continued. "My entire life, I knew what to expect. I woke up in the mornings at my house in Old Corona. I ate breakfast with Dad. Then he went outside to work and I went to my lab. Sometimes I'd go with him. At night, we'd eat supper and talk for a bit. The sun rose in the east and set in the west—although technically, the sun doesn't rise or set; the earth is just rotating, but you know what I mean. And there was always direction. I had a purpose, even if it was messed up for a while. Even when I didn't know what to do, I knew I had to save Dad. Now… I'm just not sure what I'm doing. I don't know what comes next. I'm… I'm scared."
Hector sighed. He leaned back and stared up at the first-showing stars. A few wispy clouds darted across the sky. A moment later, Varian leaned back next to him.
"You want to know the truth, kid?"
"Mm-hm."
"The day I left the Dark Kingdom… I was terrified."
"What?" Varian turned his head to look at him. "But… you were a warrior. An adult."
"Yep. And I was so scared, I thought I'd pass out. Sure, I'd been out on missions before, but this… it was leaving my home behind, never to return. All those memories, all that time I spent there… I thought I'd die. Truthfully, I still miss it. I'd go back in a heartbeat if I could." He sighed. "Sometimes, life throws things at us we don't think we can handle. We want to curl up in a ball and pretend it'll all go away. But that doesn't fix the problem. Just puts it off, makes it worse. If you want to make it better, you have to face it."
"Is this another 'move on anyways' speech?"
"Now would I give the same speech twice?"
Varian shrugged. "You've given me the 'You're still recovering; why can't you be careful?' speech about twelve times now," he responded cheekily.
Hector elbowed him gently. "You needed to hear it."
They stared up at the stars for a few more minutes. "I want to protect the Moonstone," Varian suddenly spoke up.
"What?"
He sat up, and Hector followed. "I need to move on, remember? I've seen what that thing does. Maybe that's what I'm supposed to do. I mean, I get that I'm not a knight or anything, but I can train with you. You'll stop the princess this time, and maybe in twenty years, I'll be stopping her kid or something."
"So what, you want to be part of the Brotherhood or something?"
He shrugged one shoulder. "Maybe one day. It's something I can do to help. To stop letting my life be ruined by it and start doing something about it. I mean, we can't fix it or stop it, but we can keep others from getting hurt. Keep people from using it for bad. Right?"
"Right." Hector tilted his head and eyed Varian suspiciously. "You've been thinking about this for a while."
"Yeah," he admitted softly. "I want to do some good. All I've ever seemed to do so far is bad things."
"Is that why you've been so reckless lately? You want to prove to yourself you're capable of doing good."
"Hm?" Varian feigned innocence, but Hector wasn't buying it.
"You were climbing the apple tree to get food a few weeks ago. You practiced fighting with a stick because you want to learn to fight and be a warrior. You stood on Kiki's back crossing that bridge because you saw me do that earlier that week and wanted to prove you could be like me. You nearly fell in the creek 'cause you were trying to get fish for supper. You twisted your ankle trying to climb a cliff to get some berries I just 'had' to try."
Varian blushed. "Oookay, Mr. Smartypants. Maybe I'm ready to be more than a lump on a log."
"You've been helping me this whole time."
"I know, I know. I just… want to do more."
"Good. Your training starts tomorrow."
"What?!"
Hector rolled his eyes as Varian practically bounced out of his skin in excitement. "Settle down. You'll just be doing the mental stuff first. Not anything stabby yet." He ruffled Varian's hair. "Eat some supper and go to sleep. You'll need it."
Varian quickly scarfed down his food and slipped into bed. Hector shook his head as he watched the boy toss and turn like a child on Christmas Eve for what felt like forever before finally settling down.
Inwardly, he was debating. Quirin obviously wanted Varian to have nothing to do with the Brotherhood, considering he never told him about them. But Varian didn't have much of a choice now. He was involved whether he liked it or not. But to train him to be a knight? Quirin would have his head. He could already see the look on his face if he found out. Not that he ever would, but still…
Self-defense, he mentally argued. The kid needs to be able to take care of himself.
Mm-hm, Quirin's ghost argued. And I'm sure this isn't just because you're excited to have a protégé.
Nope. He's not going to back down, anyway. His mind's made up. So's mine. Ignoring the mild guilt plaguing him—he was rather good at that—he leaned against Riki's side and fell asleep.
O‴O‴O‴
"So we just sit here?"
"Not quite." Hector sat cross-legged and motioned for Varian to do the same. "This is a test of strength of will and endurance. Twenty-four hours."
"And we can't move at all?"
"Not much. If you need to shift your legs a bit, I won't complain. And remember, you don't have to get it right the first time. If we need to stop, we can. But the goal is to go an entire day and not move."
"Do we have time?" Varian was understandably skeptical.
"Of course. I've got this whole thing planned."
"And how often do our plans work?" Varian smirked.
"Shut up and meditate."
"About what?"
"Anything. I usually plan strategies and battle tactics."
Varian nodded. Then he bit his lip nervously. "What if…"
"What?"
"Nothing. It's fine."
Hector raised an eyebrow.
Varian ran his hands over his face. "What if I… get lost? There's dark parts of my head I sometimes fall in if I stop to think for too long. I don't want to lose myself again." He shuddered. "It went bad enough the first time."
"Kid." Hector put a hand on his arm. "I'm right here, okay? I won't let that happen. And you're not supposed to talk during this, but if I see you get that look on your face, I'll talk you out. 'Kay? I'm right here. I won't let you get lost."
Varian nodded. He straightened his back and took a deep breath. "I'm ready."
"Good. Our time starts now."
O‴O‴O‴
At first, it wasn't so bad. The weather was nice, the campfire kept the cold air from biting too much, and the breeze rippling through the trees brought with it the scents of dirt and pine. The bearcats and Ruddiger played nearby while Artemis watched on in mature indifference.
Despite the peacefulness of the scene, Varian was nervous. He had always been a rather hyper sort. Rarely did he ever take the time to sit and think, unless it was about a project he was working on. That had changed during prison. Even after the storm, he had spent his days working on a solution to his dad's situation. If he ever stopped to think, his mind was flooded with bitterness and pain. But in prison, he could do nothing. There was no answer to his problem, no escape from the endless torment. He tried to strategize, to devise a way of breaking out, but all his efforts met with failure. Eventually, the cruel words and treatment of his abusers had gotten to him, and his plotting had given way to despair and misery. Even now, in the safety of the campsite with his uncle nearby, he was terrified to allow himself access once more to the unfettered darkness that remained within his mind.
Throughout the trip, he had only fallen back to that darkness a few times. Every time, Hector had been there for him. But if this was a test of his willpower, he could not allow himself to rely on him. He would do this himself. He was not the same kid he was five weeks ago. Had his time of freedom given him enough strength to stand on his own two feet, to brave the challenges of silence and look his own demons in the face?
There was only one way to know.
O‴O‴O‴
Night fell, and Varian hadn't uttered one word.
Hector watched in surprise and pride. A time or two, Varian made a face that warned of a potential attack, but every time, he steeled his composure and pulled himself away from the edge of his personal abyss. If Hector had seen the personal war Varian was waging, he was certain he would be even prouder.
Truthfully, he was nervous about allowing Varian to do this. He knew he had only seen a glimpse of Varian's troubles. If this caused a setback, he would never forgive himself. But Varian would never make a proper knight if he could not first conquer his own demons.
Riki, who was taking a shift watching the humans while the others slept, trundled over and dropped some more wood on the fire. Hector nodded his thanks. The sky had started to cloud over, and the wind picked up speed. Nearby, Varian shivered and wrapped his cloak tighter around himself. He glanced over at Hector and smiled, but it was forced and strained. Hector gave an encouraging grin. It had been about sixteen hours, and the worst was yet to come. Varian would be fine, though. Hector believed in him.
The boy's eyes started to blink rapidly. He shook his head to evade the sleep that was creeping up on him. Hector grimaced sympathetically. He remembered the first few times he had tried this. Hunger was pretty easy to ignore, but sleep tended to be a worse opponent. To be honest, he fully expected Varian to drop off into blessed unconsciousness any minute now.
To his surprise, Varian bit his lip and straightened his spine, rolling his shoulders back. A glare of determination crossed his features. He would not surrender easily, it seemed. He met Hector's look with a smirk.
Once or twice more during the long night, Varian had to fight to stay awake. As dawn broke and the stars began to fade, he turned his head to the east to watch the sunrise. A soft smile graced his lips. Just a few more hours to go.
The sun rose higher and higher. Hector worked his way out of a fond memory of the time Adira had been sure she could sneak into a royal council meeting without being spotted—she had fallen from the rafters straight onto the table below—and checked the position of the sun. "Twenty-four hours," he spoke.
Varian jumped at the sudden noise. He blinked in surprise and looked around. "Really?"
"Yeah, really. How are you?"
The child shrugged and yawned. "Tired."
Hector nodded. "Get something to eat and take a nap. You did good, kiddo."
Varian smiled. When he smiled like that, it was easy to look past the scars across his face and see the child within. It was easy to forget the pain and suffering he had been through and imagine he had never been forced to endure such torture in the first place. Maybe Hector had found him sooner, had raised him, even. He was young and innocent, untouched by the cruelty of the world.
And yet such musings were just musings. As much as Hector wished to shield him, he knew his nephew had seen more of the world's evil in a few months than most people did in their lives. The scars he bore went beyond the skin and sank deep inside him, carving rifts and valleys and canyons. And they were as permanent as his physical reminders.
But he could fight them, though. Hector watched fondly as Varian dug through one of the bags to find some leftover fruit. He had gone twenty-four hours, silent, hungry, tired, through the darkness of the night and the darkness of his mind. And he was smiling.
Those scars would never fully heal, but Varian had placed himself into a position where he could easily fall, and instead he flew. Hector had fully expected to have to pull Varian out of his head again, but he hadn't even needed him. He had stood on his own.
Varian, who was rooting through the bag, suddenly turned to Hector. A thin blue strap dangled from his hand. "You kept this?"
Hector grinned as he recognized the collar. "Yep. Figured to burn it, but the thought, hey that may come in handy."
"Mm-hm. You just liked being a cougar, didn't you?"
"Ah, shut up and go to sleep."
Varian swallowed a handful of nuts and berries and curled up in his blankets. Ruddiger, impatient to be back with his boy, curled up beside him and snuggled under his arm.
Hector, not even bothering with food, flopped onto his back. "Wake us in a few hours," he ordered the bearcats. He gave one last proud look at his nephew and fell asleep.
O‴O‴O‴
It was nearing evening when Varian finally awoke. He found Hector already up and cooking. The warrior motioned him over and held out a plate of food.
"Perfect timing," he said. "I was just about to wake you."
Varian pulled himself to his feet and joined Hector by the fire. Ruddiger, awakened by his boy's movement, stretched and dug his tiny claws into the pallet. He followed Varian and flopped down in his lap.
"So…" Hector began, "You okay?"
Varian thought for a minute. "I'm fine," he declared. "I'm… yeah, I'm fine."
"What did you think about? I mean, you don't have to tell me, it's just—"
"No, it's fine. I…" He took a deep breath. "It was hard at first. I kept going back to all the things that I did. The people I hurt. Wondering what I could have done differently. And then I realized that was only going to make me feel worse, since there's nothing I can do about the past. So… I looked to the future. Thought of what happens next. And… well, remember how I told you the other day that I was scared?"
Hector nodded.
"I'm not anymore. I'm… hopeful. Excited, even." He looked up into Hector's watchful yellow eyes. "The past was… hard. It hurt. But it was all I knew. As bad as it was, it was familiar. I was scared to let it go. But when I was meditating, I thought of what's coming. About how I can move on, be more than my past. More than just that villain who took on a kingdom. I thought about Queen Arianna and how I dragged her into a fight she had no part in. Tried to kill her. And she still showed me mercy. She saw something more in me. So, yeah, I don't know if I can ever really get over what happened, what I did, what they did to me, but… I'm ready to try."
"Is that so?" The warrior smiled. "Not bad, kiddo. I'm proud of you."
"Huh?" Varian blinked in surprise.
"I said I'm proud of you."
"Oh." Hector was… proud of him? "Why?"
"Why not? You're a good kid, Varian. And you just completed a pretty difficult training exercise. We usually start trainees off with about four hours. You did twenty-four. Well, you're also a bit older than most, but still, impressive. Speaking of, you seemed to handle pulling an all-nighter okay. Do that often?"
Varian shrugged. "Sometimes. I used to go days without sleeping if I got involved in al—one of my projects."
"But that's with stimulation. Being able to move around and do stuff. But just sitting still?"
He grimaced. Hector would not take this next part well. "There were… they had ways of keeping me awake in prison. Trying to wear me down physically and mentally. And sometimes, if one of them was in a bad mood, I couldn't let my guard down, so I learned to stay awake pretty quickly."
"'Kay." Hector's jaw clenched. "I'll rant about that later. For now, just know you did good. Better than I expected, actually." He nudged Varian's shoulder fondly. "Look, I've seen a lot of kids come through training. Within a day or two, I can usually tell if one's got the makings of a knight. You… you definitely do."
"Really?"
"Mm-hm. See, it's not always about strength or skill or smarts. Some of that can come naturally, but it's also stuff that can be taught. But those who've got what it takes have something else as well. You know what it is?"
Varian thought for a minute. Reflecting on the last twenty-four hours gave him his answer. "Devotion."
"Exactly. Without that little voice inside you that screams at you to keep going when you think you can't take another step, you'll never be able to push yourself to do what it takes. I saw it the day I met you. You were feverish and wounded, and you fought like a bear to get away from me. You weren't about to go willingly. You're still recovering, but you're not accepting excuses from yourself. You want to become the best you can be as soon as possible. And just now, when you did the exercise, you took on your own mind without anyone helping you. You struggled, but you never gave up. Wouldn't even let yourself sleep." He ruffled Varian's hair. "Give yourself some time. You'll be a great knight one day."
Varian leaned into his uncle's side. "I'll make you proud."
Hector laughed softly and pulled him closer. "You don't have to. But I know you will."
As always, constructive criticism is greatly appreciated. Thank you and God bless!