A/N: WARNING: This is SAD. If you want to end this story on a happier note, stop reading after Chapter 30.
It was a beautifully brisk sunny day—not a single cloud in the sky—the kind of day where you never wanted to go inside and never wanted it to end. The air even smelled crisper and fresher today but then again, this far north it was always like this.
Anna inhaled deeply, letting the cool rush of freedom into her lungs, intoxicating her and making her head swim. Though she had taken this journey countless times before, on this day she went slower than usual, taking particular care to commit every detail to memory—every scent, sight and sound.
She wanted to remember it all.
It was only when the familiar stone pillars finally rose up before her, that a sad smile formed over her lips.
All journeys must inevitably come to an end.
A distant memory of Elsa's ice castle rising up over the horizon in a similar fashion floated through her mind. Magnificent, pristine, shocking. Her first real journey like this, many moons ago. Some days that odyssey felt like only yesterday, but today it seemed like a lifetime ago. Nevertheless, she had started that journey alone, and now, she would finish alone. It was the way she wanted it to be.
Anna dismounted her horse and retrieved four white crocus flowers from the saddlebag. With another deep breath she looked up at the four monoliths, searching for the emotional strength that hardened years had still not provided her. Slowly, she made her way over to the earth pillar and ran her fingers gently over the coarse stone.
'I miss you, everyday.' She said quietly. 'You gave me the world—you were my world.' She breathed, as memories of her life with Kristoff flooded her mind. The first time they met, his smile and laughter, their wedding, traveling by ship to distant lands with him, the birth of their two daughters and grandchildren. She missed his hugs, the way he kissed and held her, his dry sense of humor and how he had always understood her. He stood, unwavering by her side for nearly forty years, and he was still the love of her life. She leaned her forehead to the cool stone and allowed tears to slip out as more memories of their life together flooded her.
'I will always love you.' She whispered, then took a deep breath and slowly set one of the flowers at the base of the pillar.
She walked on to the pillar of fire and placed her palm on the rock. Beautiful memories of Honeymaren flashed before her—laughing, joking, Maren showing her how to shoot a bow and arrow—Anna failing miserably and nearly shooting Yelena. Anna laughed at that memory. Then eventually, Maren taught Anna's own daughters about the Northuldra legends and showed them how to shoot and defend themselves. Maren had become her closest friend, both personally and professionally. After Yelena passed and Maren became Siida-Isid, they had gotten to work on more serious diplomatic and economic matters—to great success. The days of fear and hatred between Arendellians and the Northuldra were but faded memories now, and that largely had to do with Maren. Anna bent down and carefully placed a white crocus at the base of the pillar. 'See you soon friend… Sister.' She amended with a smile, her eyes still wet with tears.
Another deep breath.
She turned towards the water pillar.
Tall, stoic, protective. It towered over her through bleary eyes, and Anna tried to refocus her composure as she stepped into its shadow—a place where she always felt safe.
She rested her hand on the cool stone.
'Everyday without you has been harder than the last.' Anna wiped tears from her eyes. 'I told myself it would get easier, but, it never has—and now I know, it never will.' She paused for yet another breath. 'I have loved you, more than I have ever loved any other…' The emotional weight was too much, and she collapsed at the base of the pillar. The two white flowers slipped from her grasp.
'I miss you…'
It came out as no more than a whisper, just as a strong arctic breeze kicked up, swirling around her. For a moment she thought it was Gale, but it was much colder wind than Gale ever greeted her with. She pulled teary eyes up from the pillar where her head rested, to see that the swirling breeze had tiny snowflakes within it—though it was not winter.
'Elsa?' Anna gasped, then slowly reached out her hand to touch the breeze. It was frigid and snowflakes melted in her palm as they hit them. Immediately she was returned to the numerous other times her sister had sent snowflakes to her when she was alive, and she smiled through the tears. She brought the hand up to her heart to hold the snowflakes there as her foggy mind returned to some thirty-five years past in nearly this exact location—Elsa had sent her ice crystals from across the sea to tell her not to worry, that she was coming and that everything would be alright. And true to her word, Elsa had never left her, even after she had left this world.
Anna pressed her forehead into the stone and braced, eyes clamped shut. Memories of Elsa hurt the most, and yet, she welcomed them. Perhaps because they were so numerous—she and Elsa had mirrored each other their entire lives—two twin pillars of a bridge. Their childhood, though vastly different had also been very similar—then they had both ascended the throne, fallen in love and eventually raised their children and grandchildren together. Anna tried to stem the flow of tears as memories of Elsa deluged her mind like a tidal wave, but true to form, she was completely unable to stop them. Elsa had been there for her, every step of the way, just as she had promised—and even now Anna sensed, she still was.
The cold breeze swirled around her again, and began to pull her upwards. She could practically hear her sister in that soft voice she used when Anna was upset: 'Anna, don't cry.'
'I can't help it. You know that.' Anna answered, but peeled her forehead off of the stone at her sister's urging anyway. She wiped her nose and eyes and then carefully arranged one of the remaining crocus flowers at the base of the pillar. She collected the last flower, and rose to a stand. The cool breeze stayed with her as she walked to the fourth and final pillar.
Anna looked up at the pillar of air, studying it for a long moment. Snowflakes still kissed her cheek as she stared, reflecting back on the years that had shaped her life. Her misguided childhood, the gates opening for the first time, Elsa's coronation, her own coronation, the myriad of colorful people she had met traveling the world and then, teaching her own daughters how to rule Arendelle the same way Elsa had taught her. More tears started to flow, she wiped them away. Eliza and Aleksandra, her two greatest accomplishments in this life. She loved them more than life itself and smiled, knowing her love would live on through them. If life was measured by the amount of love given and received, then by that standard, she had lived a full and wonderful life—for she had truly, deeply loved and been loved.
Anna bent down and placed the last white crocus at the base of the stone pillar. 'For Queen Anna.' She said simply, then rested her palm on the stone.
'Auntie?'
Anna turned, startled to see her nephew sitting atop his white reindeer. 'Rune?'
'Auntie what are you doing out here all alone?' He asked in concerned tone, quickly dismounting. He hurried over and enveloped her in a hug.
'I thought you all had moved east with the herd already?' Anna returned, not quite acknowledging his question.
'Most have, I'm rounding up the last group. Why are you out here by yourself—why didn't you tell me you were coming, I would've come for you?'
Anna smiled with a slight shake of her head. She was proud of the Northuldran man he had grown into—of the father and husband he had become. 'I wanted to come alone.' She answered simply.
He looked at her with concerned eyes, deep blue piercing eyes much like Elsa's. It was nearly impossible to get anything past him, another similarity to her sister. 'Why?' He asked with suspicion. 'You should be resting.'
Anna smiled, reached up and patted his cheek. 'I'll be fine on my own.'
Rune shook his head. 'I'm taking you to camp—you can eat and stay the night—the kids will be thrilled—and its getting late already…'
'Rune.' Anna stopped him and he turned to look at her. 'I'm going to Ahtohallan. Alone.'
He looked at her with confused eyes that slowly turned into sadness—he started shaking his head. 'No. No, you can't…'
'Rune, I have seen every physician in Arendelle more times than I care to count. They have all told me the same thing. And I know it's true.'
Rune's brow creased with a frown. He was still shaking his head. 'Eret. Let me take you to Eret again, I know he can do something…'
'Eret has already tried everything in his power to help me. This is the way I want things to be.'
Rune paused as her words sank in. 'What about Eliza and Aleks?'
Anna let out a breath. 'The girls aren't any happier about this than you, but they respect my decision, and I need you to do that for me too.' Tears started forming in Rune's eyes at her words, he was still shaking his head. Anna took his hand in hers and tamped down her own. 'Rune, Eliza is ready to be queen, she's been ready for years—the girls already run Arendelle better than I do, you know that. But I was never one to sit around and wait for life to happen to me, you know that too—and I certainly won't sit around and wait for death to happen to me either.'
Rune took a breath and gripped the back of his neck, confusion seemingly replaced with understanding. The sadness remained however, which is why Anna had wanted to do this alone. 'Please don't go alone, let me come with you? Mom wouldn't want you to be alone.'
'I won't be alone.' Anna smiled at large blue eyes that looked at her with childlike sadness. Rune had always known how to play her like a fiddle. She relented. 'You can take an old woman as far as the Dark Sea, how's that?'
He nodded reluctantly.
They rode together through the forest, Anna followed closely behind him and smiled as she watched him. His dark hair was cropped short at the sides, the top he let grow out and had pulled back into a short braid. He never said directly, but she always suspected why he wore it like that. It reminded her of Maren. Something about the way he rode also reminded her of Maren—his demeanor that of ease and power. He had grown to be the size of Kristoff, and yet there was still something soft and delicate about the way he handled animals.
'Did I ever tell you about the first time your mother took me this way?' Anna asked, and sped up so she was next to him.
'No.' He answered. 'But she did.' He added with a smile. 'Tell me again.'
Anna chuckled remembering how jittery with excitement she'd been that day—the same feeling was overtaking her again as they rode towards the sea. 'I was twenty-one, but I might as well have been a five year old that day.'
Rune chuckled. 'Her magic had that effect on people.' He added with a knowing smile.
Anna nodded and proceeded to recount the whole adventure for him, the first time Elsa had taken her to Ahtohallan—animating the funny parts with her hands until he was laughing. They rode in ease as she retold the story, until the familiar black pebbles crunched underfoot and the Dark Sea opened up before them.
'You both tell the same story so differently.' Rune said finally. 'I like seeing her through your eyes.' He took a breath. 'I still miss her, every day—both of them.'
'So do I.'
Finally they pulled to a stop, both of them staring at the waters edge. Nokk was standing there in the waves, staring intently at Anna—waiting for her. Nokk bowed her head as strong cold breeze kicked up, swirling around them both.
'I guess she's waiting for you.' He whispered sadly, voicing her own thoughts. He dismounted, then helped Anna down from her horse and looked directly into her eyes. 'Please stay.' He tried, barely above a whisper. Anna simply smiled and squeezed his hand.
'Mom!'
'Wait!'
Anna spun in surprise to see her daughters on the edge of the tree-line. The moment they saw her their horses took off at a sprint down the black sand towards her.
They dismounted, out of breath and stood before her with tears in their eyes.
'Mom we just couldn't…' Eliza tried, her voice trailing off.
'We didn't want you be alone.' Aleks finished for her.
Tears formed in Anna's own smiling eyes and she opened her arms. It took no time for her daughters to rush forward into them. 'I know.' She whispered as she held them, then kissed them both. After a long moment they pulled away from her, she took hold of their hands.
'Please…' Eliza tried, similarly to Rune. 'I still need you.'
'I will always be here for you both.' Anna said to them, then glanced at Rune. 'You all know how to find me at the sieidi.'
Anna turned back to Eliza. Teal blue eyes much like her own stared back at her. Anna swept a stray strand of blonde hair behind her ear. 'Sweetie, you're ready for this. You are going to be a great queen.' She said with a knowing look.
'Like you.' Eliza whispered as more tears fell down her cheek. Anna smiled and squeezed her hand.
'And you want to know how I know?' Anna asked with a smile. 'Because you have your sister.' She added, and turned her eyes towards her youngest. Kristoff's hazel eyes bore into her from Aleks, beneath a mane of wild auburn hair. Anna reached up to hold Aleks' cheek. She placed her own hand over Anna's. 'And there is no bond stronger than that of a sister's love. Together you two will conquer anything.'
They both nodded and pulled her into another hug. 'I love you.' They said in unison.
'I love you too my darlings. More than life.'
She released them and they latched onto each other, holding on for dear life as they watched Rune walk her into the shallows. She turned to face him.
'I love you Auntie.' Rune said with a creased brow as he attempted to fight off tears. He leaned down and kissed her cheek.
'I love you too.' She whispered.
Nokk bent down and Rune looked at her once more, paused, then helped boost her up onto Nokk's back.
He took her hand in his. 'Say hi to them for us.' He said with a teary smile.
'I will.' She nodded, squeezed his hand then released it. 'Oaidnaleapmai.'
Rune smiled. 'Oaidnaleapmai Queen Anna, until we meet again.'
Anna took a deep breath, then turned her attention towards the vast ocean. Nokk walked her out further into the shallows, then brought her around to look at the three of them. Eliza was holding Aleks whose head rested on her shoulder, Rune moved behind them and placed his arms around both of them. Through the misty sea spray she saw herself, Elsa and Kristoff staring back at her. She blinked and the image was quickly gone. They were the new bridge—and she knew, it would live on through them for generations to come.
Anna smiled, blew them one last kiss then turned Nokk out towards the golden waves.
'Are you ready?' It was Elsa's voice she heard in her mind, taking her back years and years.
'Yes!' She answered, and Nokk took off like an arrow. Anna's body had grown tired and weak over the years, and it was harder to hold on than it used to be, but that had never stopped her before and certainly wouldn't now. Up and over the first several waves they jumped, Anna smiled deliriously as the salty air whipped at her face.
A large swell came to greet her and she easily turned Nokk sideways into the wave. It curled around them until her own watery reflection was staring back at her. Streaks of gray wove through her auburn hair, the glassy water caused her reflection to waver and distort, until it suddenly morphed into a much younger version of herself, laughing and giggling behind Elsa as they rode the sunlit waves. Anna ran her fingers over the curling water as more memories reflected back to her, before Nokk sprung them out and over the closing tube of water.
A gush of water sprayed her in the face and she laughed, remembering how Elsa used to do that to her on purpose.
Eventually they made it past the swells and onto the calmer rolling sea. Somewhere out here, in what felt like a lifetime ago, her parent's ship had gone down, changing the course of her and Elsa's lives. Change like that had terrified her once, the fear of the unknown. The fear of losing people she loved—and yet, for every change that had seemed bad, something great had eventually come from it. Like these very rolling waves, she had learned to ride the waves of change and embrace them. Some things never change, but most things do—and she had learned, that's what it meant to be alive.
'Aa Aa, Aaaaa.'
A haunting voice echoed over the ocean as Ahtohallan rose up over the horizon. It sounded like her mother's voice upon the wind.
'Aa Aa, Aaaaa.' The voice continued to call her, and slowly became much clearer.
It wasn't her mother—
'Aa Aa, Aaaaa.'
It was Elsa.
'I hear you, and I'm coming.' She smiled through wind-streaked tears.
Anna pushed Nokk faster, the cold air enveloping her in a welcoming hug, pulling her home.
'We did this together, and we will continue to do this together.'
'Together.'
A/N: It occurred to me about halfway through this chapter, that I had no idea why I was putting myself through this. This was absolutely devastating to write, and yet, Anna deserves all the things and I always wanted a great ending for her. And truthfully, exploring how her life may have unfolded was worth the angst. 'Oaidnaleapmai' means goodbye in Sami by the way.
As usual, I have some chapter songs. All three are to the tune of Anna's memories and nostalgia:
Landslide Cover : Chase & Sierra Eagleson
Arendelle Odyssey: Frostudio Chambersonic
Queen Anna's Theme: Frostudio Chambersonic
Pick your poison, all three are pretty devastating in conjunction with this chapter.
After I emotionally wrecked myself, I decided to create a little book cover for Falling Together in honor of finishing and the 2 year anniversary of this fic. I'll be posting that on my Tumblr.
And finally, thank you all so much for reading, commenting, messaging, creating fan art and otherwise supporting this story over the last two years— It was a blast to write it! I know this was a long journey, but I appreciate all the love more than you know, you guys have been truly amazing. Until next time, stay safe and take care!
Oaidnaleapmai!
