Boyd was running on empty.
Oh, it had been weeks since the accident. Fuck. Not weeks. A whole month. April had passed in a blur. Another one of Louie's birthdays had gone, unacknowledged. The chaos of parenthood and the divide growing between Louie and Boyd was nearly unbearable.
And Boyd was completely burnt out.
He couldn't bring it up. Maybe in therapy, but not to his friends or family. He certainly couldn't mention it to his husband, who had become an entirely new person as April melted into May. As crazy as it sounded, Louie seemed like more of a supervillain now than he'd ever been when they first started dating and Louie was regularly committing crimes.
Well, he was a good dad. A great dad. Louie was still the one Mo called for when the nightmares came. And Louie was always there to lull their son back to safe and secure sleep. Louie could make Mo feel safe effortlessly. Boyd wasn't as good at that. As per Mo's request, he'd given the little boy a pen (dried up and unusable) to sleep with so he felt safe from hydras and furies. It wasn't as effective as a quiet hum of a lullaby from Louie but. Well. Whatever worked.
Boyd found that Mo's nightmares affected all of them. They affected Mo most of all, of course. Mo was the one who would wake up screaming from the traumatizing memories, Boyd would be the one to get him, feeling immeasurable guilt and anguish from their boy's suffering, and Louie would feel… Unrestrained anger.
"Look at him," Louie muttered, "he's been through so much, so much abuse. The bullet I put in Satoshi's head wasn't enough. He deserved to be put through hell for what he did to Mo."
"Louie. Stop. Satoshi was obviously an awful person but his circumstances shaped him just like your circumstances shaped you."
"You don't know anything about my circumstances," Louie said, a little snippy, "I'm not like Satoshi."
"I just know that it's hypocritical to imply that Satoshi couldn't have improved as a person if he hadn't had more opportunity to. He could have even maybe been a better dad. And none of this would have had to happen."
"I tried to give him an opportunity to improve. He didn't want to be a good person! Why are you on about this? Our life is different now but it's for the better!"
"Why are you on about putting someone you already killed through hell? Not all of this is better, Louie. A lot of it seems way worse than it's ever been before. You need to calm down."
"I need to calm down? You're the one who made this an argument. I know things are hard but I thought you'd gotten used to it by now."
"I'm not trying to fucking argue with you! I just…" Boyd stood up and began changing back into actual clothing.
"I'm going to go clear my head. Call Dr. Dad if you or Mo need anything."
As he stormed out (quietly as to not wake Mo), he nearly tripped over a little red toy car. Something Donald had dropped off in a box of Louie's old toys. As the car rolled forward, wheels spun in Boyd's head. Everything was different now. And as much as Louie insisted it was for the better… Boyd wanted immediate change.
The lab was empty, as Boyd had expected it to be. He didn't spend a lot of time here, since he'd gotten his own research space. He hadn't wanted to be Gyro's lab assistant forever. But he still had a key to get in. And he still knew where everything was.
So he knew how to find the time tub. And he had an anchor, an object owned by the person he was "researching." He had the little toy car, and the control to go soaring through Louie's past.
Was this a violation of his husband's privacy? No, Louie had literally gone combing through his memories after the accident. Of course, Boyd hadn't minded that and Louie might mind this a bit more but- no. He wouldn't find out. If Boyd could really create a little bitty butterfly effect… None of this would happen. Louie wouldn't have even been privy to Boyd's past because there would have been no accident. Or was that too far back? Maybe he should stop Louie after the first battle but before the second?
Fuck. He just needed to go. He just needed to create a tiny ripple effect to change the recent past. No need to go further. Just far back enough to ensure that Louie wasn't grievously injured.
This was definitely a misuse of time technology. But no one would know. No one would remember. This was fine. This was going to help them. This was going to save them.
Boyd climbed into the time tub, held tight to the toy car, and turned on the machine.
A little thing about time travel, it's not the most exact science. It's a good science but a chaotic one. So Boyd shouldn't have been so surprised that his memory anchor took him way further back than he'd intended. He kept quiet and watched the scene play out, the time tub veiled from the past as long as he stayed inside of it.
"Louie, I got you something!" Donald knelt next to the small, adorable boy who was already addicted to hoodies that were way too big for him. And also presents. It was clear this little kid loved presents as he tried to get a peek at the toy that Donald hid behind his back.
"A present? For me?" Little Louie sobered for a moment, "Or for us?"
"For you." That brought the light back to Louie's eyes and he reached in earnest for the present, Donald displaying the little toy car after a moment of cheesy fanfare.
"Just for you."
Louie hugged the toy close.
"I love it!" He hugged Donald as Boyd turned back to the machine. Intervening now would do nothing for him. He needed to go further. To a Louie he could actually reach, not one that was nearly Mo's age and hadn't had his love of life crushed out of him. He couldn't think about little Louie right now. He couldn't think about Mo right now. He just had to move forward.
The time tub lurched a couple of years forward to pre-teen Louie in a place that Boyd eventually recognized as one of the rooms in Scrooge McDuck's mansion. He was rambling to Dewey, his eyes still lit up. He wasn't broken yet.
"Uncle Scrooge is going to teach me how to be a businessman."
"Aren't you already a businessman? Isn't Louie's Kids a business?" Dewey asked, playing a handheld game.
"It's a charity."
"Sure it is." Dewey's laugh rang out through the room.
"You laugh, but you're just jealous because I'm going to be the best businessman in the world. I'm going to be just like Uncle Scrooge."
Boyd nearly choked, trying to keep silent so he didn't startle the boys. Did Louie remember how much he'd wanted to be like Scrooge when he was young? Did he realize how much he'd turned into Scrooge as he grew older? How could this young, bright-eyed kid turn into someone so full of loathing?
And then, as he moved forward, suddenly, everything made sense.
They were clearly on an airplane. Boyd didn't know the circumstances of the adventure but he knew the outcome. Four young, emotional kids crowded around as Scrooge McDuck told a heartbreaking tale of his niece, an expecting mother, who stole a rocket, tried to navigate through a storm, and lost her life trying to get back to her boys.
And that was when all the light drained out of Louie. He looked angry, defensive, like a wounded animal. Maybe his plans for revenge didn't begin that second but the moment Della Duck was pronounced dead, Louie's life was put on an unalterable course.
"Maybe-" Boyd muttered as he spun away, thinking for a moment how a single trip back to before his boyfriend was born would change EVERYTHING. Guilt churned in his stomach now. This felt invasive. He couldn't upend Louie's entire life. Because… Because…
Because then he and Louie might not meet.
Boyd crouched inside the time tub as he hurtled through time, trying to keep calm. He could end this at any time. He could just go home. But he was on this path now, and he had to see it out. He had to save Louie. Save them.
The next memory was the breather Boyd needed. A Shiloh memory. Boyd liked Shiloh. He liked that she liked Louie as much as he did except not romantically. It was great.
"I stole these from my dad! He's gonna be so pissed when he figures out they're gone. He'll probably blame Rowan, though, so don't worry." Shiloh grinned, seeming proud of her theft, waving a pack of cigarettes in front of fourteen-year-old Louie's face.
"Of course you did. Do you even know how to smoke?"
"Do you?"
Louie did not.
He inhaled a lot of smoke and immediately threw up in the nearest trash can.
"Oh my gosh, are you okay?" Shi put a hand on Louie's back, looking both disgusted and worried.
"That was great. I love that. Can I have those?"
"It's your funeral," Shi laughed, tossing them to Louie.
Boyd pushed the time machine further but it didn't want to go much further, landing in what appeared to be a high school men's bathroom. It was obviously a men's bathroom. Boyd inferred the high school part from the very lewd writing on the walls, the weed smell, and the teenage Louie who was pressed against the wall by another teenage boy doing something that was both passionate making out and also probably painful for Louie.
Boyd grunted in distress without meaning to and the other guy tightened his hold on Louie, looking freaked out.
"What was that? Is someone in here?" Suddenly he pushed Louie away, and Boyd saw tears spring to Louie's eyes as he hit the wall a little harder.
But Boyd didn't stick around long enough to see his husband suffer. He had to get out of Louie's teenage years before he got discovered.
He was a little relieved to see Huey in the next memory until he realized that Huey and Louie were arguing.
"It's fucking dangerous, Louie. You know anyone who works for FOWL is completely evil, they cloned Webby!"
"And made May and June, who we love."
"They killed Mrs. Beakley."
"Bradford killed Mrs. Beakley. I'm not working with Bradford, I'm working with ex-FOWL employees."
"For what? To get the upper hand on Scrooge?" Huey rolled his eyes.
"Exactly. I do my best work when I'm surrounded by people who resent him just as much as I do."
"You're a lunatic, Louie. Just go to class like a normal business major."
"Sometimes my business takes precedence over my business major."
"Please just be careful. I'm worried about you."
Now it was Louie's time to roll his eyes, "You're always worried about me. You go to class. I'll be fine."
Once more Boyd wanted to intervene and tell Louie that his dangerous choices would lead him down a painful path. But he knew he couldn't intervene this early, at risk of erasing himself from the narrative.
Boyd wanted to intervene in the next scene, which started innocently enough with Louie consensually making out with a man on a barstool. It was clear that the two men were both heavily intoxicated but that didn't seem to matter to either of them.
"Hey! Get away from my brother!" A burly man snapped, grabbing Louie violently by the shoulder and calling him a very outdated slur that clearly made Louie, and his kissing partner, very angry.
The other man stood up, swaying a bit, and grabbed his brother by the shirt.
"Todd, I'm gay."
"The hell you are. You're just drunk, Rick."
"We're all drunk," Louie said, grabbing a bottle, "still gay."
"Shut the fuck up and stay away from my brother. He doesn't know who he is."
"And you don't know who you're talking to! I'm more successful than you'll ever be, asshole." Louie accented his point by slamming his bottle of beer across Rick's face. From there, it was just a full-on bar fight, and things got messy.
It took everything in Boyd to not intervene as Louie got hurt. But Louie maybe had it covered a little too well, beginning to fire off rounds with a gun he had concealed in his jacket.
Boyd felt sick to his stomach, unable to watch from there. He switched from one angry memory to another, though Louie was a little soberer in this one.
"What the fuck do you want, McDuck?" Louie stormed into Scrooge's office, looking pissed.
"So you're killing people now, Llewellyn?" Scrooge looked pissed too.
"You have no proof that I've ever killed anyone. I'm not like you."
Scrooge looked like he had a headache, "I didn't kill your mother, Louie. And I didn't kill any of your employees, unlike you."
"I didn't kill any of your lackeys, McDuck. I would never stoop so low."
"That's a load of crap and you know it. You may not have pulled the trigger but there's blood on your hands. You're working with lunatics, Louie. People who will kill without an ounce of remorse." Louie looked unbothered by Scrooge's statement. There was only hatred in Louie's eyes.
"I'm asking you to be careful, Louie. Consider who you interact with before you get yourself killed."
That's what set Louie off.
"For the millionth time, quit pretending to care about me, old man. We are not family. We are not the same. You're not going to save me. I don't want to be saved. So why don't you get back to your miserable isolation? It's cheaper to stop pretending you care. You can give up on me like you gave up on her."
"Louie-" But Louie was already walking away, leaving Scrooge alone, miserable, and so worried about his nephew.
Sifting through Louie's pain was sure fun, but it wasn't what he had come here for. He was getting so close to the accident, he just needed to push it a little further, to a Louie who wanted to be saved.
"What's your name, little one?" Boyd saw Louie holding Mo and he realized with a sinking feeling that he'd just barely missed his chance. He'd have to go back a bit, but he kind of wanted to see this, first.
"Mo," the little boy whimpered.
"Where are your parents, Mo?"
Mo pointed towards the corpse in the corner and Boyd saw Louie's face go through several different emotions, fear, guilt, empathy, and finally, love. Louie knew what it was like to lose a parent. He understood Mo. Boyd's heart felt heavy as he watched the two broken souls cling to each other.
"Okay, well, I've got you, buddy. I'll take care of you. Is that okay with you? You want to go home with me?" Mo nodded and guilt surged through Boyd's body. Mo needed them...
"I've got a playground in the backyard and a really cuddly cat named Mars, and you'll be safe. Does that sound nice?"
"Nice…"
"I know you'll like it." Louie smiled down at the boy, so full of love, and Boyd couldn't help feeling the same sense of love as he looked at his family.
"How old are you, Mo?" Mo held up two fingers.
"Well, you're a smart little guy, huh? How high can you count, Mo?"
"One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten." Louie gasped in pride and Boyd could barely contain a giggle. Louie was always so good with kids.
"That's incredible! You're brilliant! I can count to at least 100. I'll teach you sometime. 10 is good for now, though."
"I'm married," Louie said quietly, "To the most wonderful man in the world. You're one of the only people in the world who knows that. I'm not supposed to get married for another year. Boyd would know the exact number of days. That's my husband's name, Boyd, and he's so smart and kind and loving. He's a hero, a real hero, not like me. And he's going to adore you."
Tears dampened Boyd's cheeks as he heard Louie gush about him. And he'd wanted to… To take all of this away. It was humiliating, the way Louie thought of Boyd as wonderful and heroic and loving when Boyd couldn't even handle a few changes. Even when, as it was obvious, seeing Louie looking at Mo with light and love in his eyes, things really had changed for the better.
Boyd returned the time tub to the present, guilt and pain weighing heavily on his heart. He needed to get home to his husband and kid, but he felt too ashamed. He'd wanted to trade Mo's wellbeing for a chance to make things a little easier, but easier wasn't better. He couldn't do this anymore.
"Boyd? What are you doing here?" He was surprised to see Fenton standing in the elevator and quickly wiped the tears streaming down his face.
"I-"
Fenton took in the scene, the emotional android sitting in the time machine, and understood.
"Trying to change the past?"
"No. I thought I could, I thought I wanted to, but everything happens for a reason. I'm better off leaving things the way they are. Even if things are hard right now."
"I know it must be difficult, with Louie's injury and a new kid to take care of."
"Yeah… It is. I feel guilty for struggling with it, Louie is the one who got injured and Mo needs us but-"
"It's okay to struggle, Boyd. You don't have to feel bad because other people are also struggling. You know, when we came back from Tokyolk all those years ago, after confronting Akita and your more sinister programming, Gyro was terrified. Parenting scared him so much. He loved you, he still loves you of course, but he was worried about messing up. About not being ready to be a dad. I'm sure he thought about trying to change the past. I don't mean to overstep, Boyd, but I think you need to talk to Louie."
"Yeah, I think you're right."
It was early in the morning when Boyd came home, bringing them a dozen chocolate frosted doughnuts with sprinkles as a peace offering.
Gyro was tinkering with something in the living room as Mo played on the carpet, Louie was apparently still in the bedroom.
"Daddy!" Mo lit up when Boyd entered, running over.
"I missed you!" Mo stared up at him with a look of adoration.
"You missed me? I missed you too! I found something of yours…" Boyd pulled the toy car out of his pocket and handed it to Mo, who squealed and ran off.
"Look, look, my car! Grandpa, come play!" Gyro set his project aside, offered Boyd a smile, and then slid down to the floor to play with his grandson.
"There are doughnuts on the counter when you guys get hungry, I need to go talk to Louie."
"Alright, you boys play nice."
Boyd forced a laugh and headed into the room, feeling dread.
"You were gone all night," Louie said when Boyd came in.
"Yeah, I needed a lot of time to think, and…" Boyd took a deep breath and decided to confess everything.
"I nearly did something really bad."
Louie looked worried then.
"Are you okay, Boyd? What did you do? Are you alright?"
"I'm fine, just a little tired but… Louie, I'm sorry about earlier. I'm sorry for starting an argument. I've been so overwhelmed lately and… I've been shitty about communicating my needs and insecurities, and I'm sorry about that. I'm sorry we haven't been communicating like husbands should. Half of that is on me."
"I'm sorry we haven't been communicating too, and for my part in it. This has been overwhelming for me too, and as you know, I hate feeling useless. So it's been hard to be open about everything I've been feeling. But I'm here now to talk and listen, Boyd. You can tell me anything."
"I should have known you'd understand... It's just been a whole lot of stress, compounding. And I couldn't help thinking about how much easier things were before all this started happening. And… I nearly used time travel to change the past. I saw you as a kid, and a teen with Derek, I think? And at a bar fight and- and with Mo, last month. I love him too, Louie, but I needed to see him through your eyes to understand what you've been saying the whole time. That things have changed for the better."
Louie reached for Boyd's hand.
"It's going to take a while until everything is entirely okay again, I know that. But I love you, and I'll do whatever I can to make you feel less overwhelmed. Starting by being open with you. I promise I'll be better at communicating with you from now on."
"We've never really done well with promises," Boyd whispered, squeezing Louie's hands.
"Yeah, well that's going to change too. Because if there's anything I know it's that this family is worth changing for. For the better."