DEREK

I'm lost in the feel of her lips, her hair in my hands, her arms around my neck.

Wolf whistles and catcalls jerk me back to reality.

The door is open and a bunch of my teammates are drunkenly cheering at us. It doesn't escape me that Michael and Ryan are among them. Fucking traitors.

Casey pulls away from me, blushing. "What…" she trails off, turning confused eyes on me.

"Shit," I mutter. I flip them off and put my arm around Casey, steering her away from the party and my asshole teammates. "Ignore them. It's a team thing. Let's go hang out at my place."

She gives me a quizzical smile, and lets me lead her away. We don't talk on the short walk to my place, but I keep my arm around her, and she leans into me, and it feels right.

I can almost imagine the torture of the last week never happened, and it's right after I kissed her the first time. That same elated hopeful feeling is creeping up on me and I don't want to trust it but I can't seem to help myself when she snuggles her face into my chest.

"I should tell Sarah I left," she says finally, getting out her phone as we approach my door.

"Tell her she can crash here, if she doesn't want to go back to campus alone," I agree. "I'll leave the door unlocked."

Casey squirms under my arm for some reason I don't understand and nods. "She might stay at Michael's," she says with a forced sounding giggle.

I frown slightly. Sarah seems like a relationship girl. Michael doesn't do relationships.

Casey stares at me. I can see anxiety swimming in her eyes and I feel like I missed something.

"What?" I ask.

"It's nothing," she says quickly. But I can see her overthinking.

"Just tell me," I insist.

She ducks her head and pulls away from under my arm and fuck. That was the last thing I wanted her to do. I almost take it back, she doesn't have to tell me if she'll just come back here. But she's opening her mouth hesitantly, gearing up to speak.

"Do you like Sarah?" She asks.

I don't know what I was expecting, but it wasn't that. I'm about to say "sure" because Sarah's nice and she looks out for Casey. What's not to like?

But Casey is staring at me, chewing on her lip and she looks like she's bracing herself and… I finally realize what she's really asking.

I'm so shocked, that for a second I don't respond. I know I call her Spacey, but is she really that clueless? I don't know how to emphatically say no . I don't like Sarah. I'm in love with you.

My brain short circuits, as I try to assimilate her question into the picture that is us. All this time, I thought she knew how I felt. I assumed she had to know. That she was choosing to ignore and deny it. Because she didn't feel the same way, wasn't willing to let herself feel that way. Because we're step siblings and she thinks it's wrong, and she didn't want to make drama for the family.

I've teased her and pranked her and dated other girls and kept it fucking platonic because I thought she didn't want more from me. I've been terrified that if I ever showed how badly I want her, she'd feel forced to push me away.

But does she really not know?

I'm sobering up but I'm still too drunk to think this through properly. This is why I hate feelings. I'm terrified whatever I choose will be wrong. She'll freak out and shut me out again.

I'm tailspinning, frozen with indecision.

But I keep coming back to the fact that she kissed me.

She's staring at the floor, her face is bright red and pulled into lines of misery.

I take my shot.

"Casey, I like you," I hear my voice say. Fuck did I really just say that outloud. I'm holding my breath waiting for her to shove me away, or play it off and call me her brother, or any of the things she's done in the past when we're about to cross a line.

But she just blushes and smiles at the floor with this slightly dazed expression, like she can't quite believe it.

And I can't either. She's not upset. She looks… the opposite of upset. So I say it again. "I like you. I really like you. I've always liked you."

She looks up at me then. Her eyes are shining and she's smiling. It takes my breath away.

She pulls me in for a kiss again and I think I might be shaking, or she is. I can't believe this is happening. This is reality. I just told her how I feel and she's not screaming or shoving me out of her life. She's kissing me.

I think this might be the happiest I've ever been in my life.

CASEY

I can't believe he just said… I can't believe it. He likes me. He really likes me. He's always liked me.

Am I dreaming?

We're kissing again. I'm kissing Derek. And this isn't even our first kiss. This is our third kiss. Our lips are already learning each other. It's becoming familiar. To kiss Derek.

This happy bubble of laughter is working its way up from somewhere deep inside of me. I break the kiss and look at him, and he's smiling down at me. I don't think I've ever seen him smile like this before. There's nothing cynical or guarded about it. It's open and genuine and joyful. I'm so happy, it feels like I have to either laugh or cry. Thankfully, it's a little laugh that escapes me, and he chuckles along with me.

"Casey," he whispers my name reverently against my ear. He wraps his arms tight around me, pulling closer, and I shiver as my body makes contact against his. We're pressed together from thighs to chest, and it doesn't feel close enough.

I tilt my head back and frame his face with my hands to bring it to mine. It's a move I learned from him, last week when we kissed. It felt nice.

He smiles against my lips, like he knows what I'm doing and kisses me. It's so good. I spent the whole week trying to convince myself it couldn't possibly be as good as I remembered, but it's better. He's so warm and strong and smells like home. I don't think I could ever get enough.

His tongue sweeps against mine and a pulse of desire ripples through me. I moan softly and pull him closer. He makes a sound, low in his throat, and walks me slowly backwards, into his room. He shuts the door and presses me against it, without breaking the kiss.

He's so hot, I can finally just say it now. I'm so attracted to him, crazily attracted to him. I never let myself admit that I wanted him like this, but it's like all those times we fought in high school were just foreplay. It was all leading to this moment where I can finally put my hands on him.

I pour myself into the kiss, and touch him everywhere. The muscles in his back ripple under my hands. I've always been obsessed with his back. I've imagined grasping it and pulling him into me hundreds of times. The reality is so much better.

He cages me against the door with his arms, surrounding me, consuming me. Our kiss has turned frenzied, and all I can think about is how I want more, I need more.

As though he can read my mind he brings his thigh firmly between my legs, and bites along my neck while he rubs it against me. It ratchets up my need to a level I can barely stand. He's hitting the exact right spot, the seam of my jeans pressed right where I need it, but it's still not enough. I gasp, stuttering out his name, helplessly grinding against his thigh.

"Fuck, Casey," he groans against my neck. "Can I touch you?"

"Yes," I gasp. Anywhere. Please.

His hand snakes inside my jeans, his fingers play against my bare skin, and work their way down to brush against my clit. My legs buckle at the sensation, but he's got me propped up and he's so strong and oh my god I've never been this turned on in my whole life.

I feel crazed and desperate and I want to touch him back but my hands are nerveless and all I can do is moan helplessly as he rubs me with his fingers.

"Casey, fuck," he moans into my neck. "You're so wet. Fuck you're so hot. I've dreamed of this so many times. Tell me this is okay?"

"Its so good," I gasp. "Don't stop. More."

He slides a finger inside me. It feels at once foreign and necessary, and so so good. I clench around him involuntarily and buck against his hand.

"Oh god, Casey," he groans into my neck.

The sound of his voice makes me shudder. I clutch at his arms. I need. Something. He pulls his finger slowly out and thrusts back hard and I need that. More of that.

I'm frozen, incapable of moving, a slave to his fingers. Is this real? Derek is touching me. I've dreamed about this so many times, touched myself imagining his hands on me. He adds a second finger, and it's so full, so much. Too much. I'm bursting out of my skin.

Reality overwhelms me. An orgasm is building, stronger than anything I've ever managed on my own. It weaves its way through my whole body, my limbs and face are going numb and he keeps thrusting his fingers just right and grinding his hand against me.

He leans down and kisses me hard, biting my lip.

That's all it takes. I explode, my body a writhing mass of pulsing waves, as I gasp his name over and over against his mouth.

"Fuck fuck fuck," he chants against me. He thrusts his fully clothed erection between my jeans clad thighs, pressing against my clit. How are we still fully clothed? He draws out my orgasm, the hard friction of his increasingly erratic movements makes me shudder and moan.

He lets out a pained sounding shout and buries his face in my neck as he suddenly stills.

We stay like that for a few minutes, panting, sweaty, sticky, propping each other against the door.

"Holy fuck," he lets out a soft laugh and kisses my forehead.

I giggle because that about sums it up, and did this really just happen?

He kisses me softly, over and over again as we clean up.

I steal a t-shirt to sleep in and he wraps his arms around me. "Helping yourself to my personal property again," he grumbles into my hair. "Last time you almost killed me. Walking around braless in my tshirt. You're cruel."

I laugh. I feel sexy and wanted and I can't believe this is real. That we can talk about wanting each other like it's no big deal. An established fact.

It feels surreal, even as we lay down to go to sleep and he wraps me in his arms and pulls me against him.

I don't know how I'll ever get used to this, to being this open. To letting myself want Derek. Part of me thinks this is a huge mistake, and that it's not as simple as we're pretending. But in this moment, I can't bring myself to care.

I fall asleep smiling.