A/N: I am back with a new chapter! Surgery went pretty well and the recovery is okay-ish! So... I uploaded a little picture for this chapter on Tumblr, maybe somebody can find itSo - enjoy the chapter
Funny, how time could go slowly on some days. Like a snail, daring to cross the road, not caring for the surrounding dangers. Taking one tiny step after the other. Not rushing, for it will reach its aim anyway and right on time, like it was supposed to be.
Then the time would fly, faster and faster in full hurry. Never stopping, never daring to take a breath. Reaching every being around with full force, pushing it further in their life and towards the end without any mercy.
Tuesday was such a day for Marinette, passing by without a rest. And the young woman was entirely thankful for any task, that was thrown right at her -thankful for anything, that kept her hands, mind and body busy:
Cleaning the store in the morning, because the cleaning lady was sick? Sure! No problem! Folding cloths, giving customers advices, going to the storage to get the desired color or size. She didn't mind. Would do it all with a smile - even if that very smile barely reached her eyes on that particular day.
Well… it did a few times though, when she was on break. A rare few minutes on Tuesday, when her own time dared to slow down a little bit.
For Luka had written her a small message, that they were alright after such an 'adventurous' night. That Juleka and Rose were up and well, didn't take any harm after the attack. Kim as well.
And Alya send her a picture of Nino - the poor man crying over the latest ultrasound of their twins. They are growing and healthy as it should be and their father would surely be the proudest man, who ever existed. And as overprotective as possible…
And lastly there was a short call from Adrien. Hearing his warm voice made her smile most. It made her heart beat madly in her chest and she calmly listened to anything he would say. Barely saying a word herself - briefly forgetting any other men, kisses and intimacies.
Happy to hear, that he made a decision…
…even if that meant, that he would go to the interview and Paris would see him live in the limelight once more. But only for one last time - if anything went according to his tiny plan, he had hatched in his mind.
"Can you go with me?", he gently asked, his voice sounding so worried on the other end of the phone. "You can stay behind the stage. You don't have to step in front of the camera. But…it would mean the world to me, if wasn't all alone in that stupid, stinky studio…"
"Of course I will come with you-", she said without hesitation. Remembering, what she had written to him during midnight. But no - she would not step away from the promise she had given him. Perhaps she needed to switch a shift in the Café… but her boss surely wouldn't mind - he tried to make things possible for his employees, if possible. "I will be there!"
It meant the world to him, that she said that. She could tell. Didn't mind. For that was exactly what she wanted to be…
…she wanted to be his world, when all was said and done and preferably by the end of the week. Her yearning for the blond man was getting stronger and stronger with each passing day - barely tolerable by now.
Maybe on Saturday they could talk about it, when they were alone and unbothered…
Though… she knew, that her aching heart will constantly remind her of the loss she had made the night before.
Chat Noir…
True - they would keep on fighting side by side. Had to- at least until they have won against Lady Titalee.
But it was Marinette, who had to pretend, that nothing between them has happened. For Ladybug wasn't around, when he had kissed her. When he had pleasured her. Ladybug couldn't know these things - Chat couldn't know, that she was Ladybug!
And yet… it had been Marinette- the woman underneath the mask.
…just Marinette…
And… well - in the end this had been only the start from their eventual separation. For one day it would mean, that she needed to say goodbye to him for good - and that would be the very day, when he would stop to be Chat Noir for the world.
… for her…
Marinette had to shake her head multiple times throughout the day to clear her mind, for she constantly started to think about him, if she wasn't busy.
So… yeah - she had to keep on working. Biding Adrien goodbye shortly before the end of her break - promising him to write, when work was done to plan the next day and the interview. When to meet and if they should eat beforehand.
Stepping back into the boutique with a slight, gentle smile as she thought about him, the gentleness of his voice and his words. One smile, that this time was true in its nature and which stayed even until the late evening hours, when she kept on serving people in the small Café - even with some very annoying customers around.
But it was okay - everything would eventually be okay.
…so was life after all…
It was about ten in the evening, when Ladybug found herself up on the rooftops of Paris. The sun had set some time ago and only a few busy people were still out on the streets. Hurrying along in their cars and bikes, trying to get home, meeting friends or a special someone.
Unaware, that their dotted Lady kept watch over them - for she feared to get home to an empty and silent flat, where nothing and nobody kept her busy and where sleep wouldn't reach her soon enough.
And yes - where she would sit by the window of her living room, looking outside with a deep yearning and with horrible pain, in hope she would see a shadow up on the rooftops herself. And a set if loveable green eyes, that shone brightest in the darkness…
But he wouldn't come. He would keep word and would stay away from her.
…To not be the other man in her life…
Though - in fact - he would stay exactly that, as long as he was her partner and Chat would always stay important to her. She would always love him - just like Adrien…
Ladybug groaned, for she knew, that these thoughts would make this a horribly long night, if she didn't stop them soon enough. Whining wouldn't help her in any way, and she needed to keep going.
The young heroine reached for her yo-yo, swinging it across the street, flying from one rooftop to the other. Further with every step. Keeping watch. To make sure, that no Akuma would harm these lovely people down below.
She ran South and East. West. North. Back to the center of this city. Thankfully not feeling any exhaustion for now, as long as the magical power clang to her bones, stamina seemingly enough for the whole night.
Though one time she stopped by the Seine. Seeing its dirty waters down below, remembering tentacles and tiny wooden hands all over her. Pulling her down in the unbarable darkness. She felt, how cold blackness crept in her mind, as she remembered the bitter taste as it filled her screaming lungs.
Her heart immediately sped up, and she felt, how sweat formed on her palms underneath her suit. Every other thought was immediately pushed out of her mind. Vision narrowed down. Everything else seemed to be irrelevant.
For a moment there was just fear.
…horrible…horrible fear.
Her eyes snapped back open - reminding herself, that she was not allowed to give in to her bad emotions, tried to brighten her mind with lovely little memories, before it was her, who could draw an Akuma close.
Of Adrien's beautiful smile and Emma's carefree, cheerful laughter. Her parents warm hugs and the smell of baked goods. Alya and Nino looking lovingly at the latest ultrasound of the twins…
Wait…
…Nino… what did he ask her again?
'Why not giving Lady Titalee what she wants? Your Miraculous?'
Because of the wish, she wanted to be fulfilled - of course! She said so herself. But…, what wish? And where did she find about this particular reason to be master of these exact two Miraculous - eventhough she could have had all the others?
How could Lady Titalee know that much of this old, forlorn wisdom when nobody else did? Gabriel himself only found out about it, because the ancient book was in his possession.
And Nathalie knew this piece of information because she was his henchwoman. His assistant. He told her, of course.
Narrowed down to all the people, that knew about the wish she found, that there weren't many and she was merely missing one link.
For there weren't any other people, that had this knowledge - or their memory was magically erased, like that of Master Fu.
And…
…then there was nobody else left - for nobody else had found out about it up to this point. Civilians were blissfully unaware about this fact, which was never spread on any form on media - for both- Gabriel and Nathalie- never spoke about it. Not in front of the police, never in court.
Then… who told Lady Titalee about the wish, that the possession and fusion of the Ladybug and the Cat Miraculous would bring?
Neither of them, that was sure!
Ladybug chewed her lip in thought, her thoughts jumping back and forth and back again. Turning and twisting, and finally she had an idea, where she could find a new clue for the new villainess…
That - or ask Gabriel and Nathalie once more - though she should keep that thought in the back of her mind, if she came up empty-handed after tonight.
Finally, she stepped away from the Seine, again - thankful, that she would stay away from any deep waters for tonight and that she would stay on a hard and dry ground. She had gathered enough bad experiences with the liquid in these past few days and didn't want any more!
But the young heroine didn't travel far this time, either. Stopping on a rooftop once, looking down to the lower building in front of her with balled fists and a scowl on her face.
Remembering this place perfectly well, even if it had lost all its shine and beauty by now. She had been stopped from the tall gates numerous times, but had made it inside successfully on other days. As both - Marinette and Ladybug but during that time she had never thought, which darkness would hide in these four walls.
…in more than one way…
With the lair of her nemesis hidden there.
And the body of his poor wife, that has fallen to a magical sleep.
…and a innocent boy, who would be traumatized by it all, haunted by a legacy and the dark shadows and demons, that came with it. Neglected. Restrained. Unaware of the secrets, that were hidden under the same roof, where he had found his bed, his daily shelter. It surely was no wonder, that Adrien feared to re-live it all again.
…that Paparazzi would make his daughter suffer as well…
Knowing so much by now she wished, that she could have helped Adrien a little earlier. But no - more than two years had to pass, until she and Chat Noir were able to stop Hawk Moth and Mayura. To put it all to an end.
It wouldn't be the same with Lady Titalee, that was for sure!
But she wouldn't be able to fight this war alone. She would need Chat Noir - his strength, his power and sharp mind.
…which meant, that she needed to face him once more and pretend, that nothing has happened.
Ladybug straightened her back and groaned, knowing, that it would be the only way, to get this right. Eventually taking her yo-yo and opened up to reveal the communicator inside. Sighing, but eventually she spoke a few, hurried words to meet her here - at the Agreste Mansion.
Little did she hope, that Chat Noir was not around, wasn't patrolling as well. That he would stay away tonight.
For she wasn't entirely ready to face him just yet - and how could she? After such an extraordinary kiss and the pleasure he gave her in the same night, it was hard to move on and to forget all her feelings for him!
…this was one war, she had lost entirely…
But of course - luck wasn't on her side this time, either, for she didn't even need to wait for more than twenty minutes.
A dark shadow made it across the roofs towards her, eyes shining brightly in the darkness, that surrounded them - finding her very easily.
And soon enough the young man landed right beside her, silently looking down at the house in front of them, his smile immediately disappearing from his handsome features. Not even taking his time to greet her, as he would normally do.
"You want to go down there? In the Agreste Mansion?", she heard him murmur and there was some icy coldness in his voice, that made her shiver. "Isn't it closed for the public?"
Ladybug couldn't bear to look up and in his face, but she felt some dark tension from his side, growing with every passing second, that they were standing up here, side by side.
Once more she asked herself, how deep the scars were, that Hawk Moth and Mayura left in his soul. When would they ever fade away and would it eventually be the same with Lady Titalee? For stealing so much precious time in their lives?
"It is…", she therefore breathed, shortly looking up to meet his eyes, but to cast hers down once more. Shaking her head, as a next thought crossed her mind: "Nobody is allowed to enter - the only remaining key is currently locked away in the office of one of Gabriel's lawyers, since-"
"-since his son is the sole heir of his fortune and his property…" So Chat did know about that - good. He surely read about it somewhere to be not filled in at all times. "But he refuses any of it…right?"
Ladybug nodded, her heart fluttering in her chest, when she thought about the blond man - and skipped one beat, as she reminded herself, that another, wonderful man, who had stolen the other half of her heart was currently standing right beside her.
"I can't blame Adrien…", she yet mumbled, before she took a deep breath to face her partner properly for the first night tonight. "Yet I didn't order you here to talk about their family bonds, Chat. I am rather hoping to find clues inside - about our Lady Titalee…"
"Down there?"
He raised his eyebrows underneath his mask. Eyes widening and with a surprised look he stared at her. She heard him gulp, saw him shake his head, breathing coming shakily between his lips.
"You want to enter the Agreste Mansion… What do you hope to find inside? All evidence for Agreste's misdeeds was surely taken by the police…"
"But did you not once ask yourself, how Lady Titalee found out about the wish? The one she will be granted, if she ever dares to hold our two Miraculous in her hand? The reason on why she is doing all of this…"
His pupils dilated in realization and he pressed his lips into a thin, but determined line.
"She had to find out somehow. Somewhere… There are only a few people, that are aware of it…", he mumbled - seemingly more to himself, than to her. But finally he was able to put a huge grin on his lips. "So you plan to find a clue inside!"
"Yes. At least I hope so. That - or ask both Gabriel and Nathalie once more - maybe they have told somebody by mere accident, or willingly. But in any way we should keep our eyes open for anything, that might be of our interest!"
He nodded in mere agreement and both eventually swung over to the mansion. Chat was following closely behind, when she led the way to get inside.
True - they won't be able to make it through the front door. But it didn't mean, that they wouldn't find another way.
Frankly - there were many, for the Agreste Mansion wasn't the same impregnable palace as before. It had lost its shine, just like his former owner. Graffiti were sprayed all over the walls - of pictures and portraits, slurs, curses and so much hate - mostly for the former designer and his assistant. One person tried to burn the whole thing down - something like five years ago. The wall on this place black like the night, still to this very day. Others had broken in successfully demolishing the whole building inside and out, making it a very lost place in the heart of Paris.
Therefore, many windows were broken - nobody cared enough about it, to repair any of them.
But tonight it would be their gateway to the past - or at least that, what still was left of it.
They stepped through a frame on the top floor, glass breaking under their feet, as they stepped inside, but no shard would break their skin thanks to their magical suits.
Thankfully - for broken glass was covering almost the whole place. Of windows, and of numerous broken bottles as well.
"Urgh…lovely…", she heard Chat Noir behind her groan. "Somebody should have cleaned up here, before our arrival…"
"Haha, very funny!"
Ladybug at least hoped, that they wouldn't encounter any mischief people here - groups of teenagers sometimes sought this place out as some kind of freaky dare. Some gangs, used it as a hangout place - hence the multiple bottles. Some homeless people had stayed here for winter. A cult, that believed to find demons, ghouls and ghosts in these halls.
Many had visited this place before. Never officially. Never it was it allowed - but in the end nobody cared. She had even heard the news, that officials wanted to buy the mansion to open it up for tourists and fans of the morbid. Things, that would bring good money.
She hated that thought - hoped, that this place would find a better purpose.
To cleanse it of its dark legacy…
"Where to start?", she asked, her poor heart beating madly in her chest, sensing the power, that once lived in these walls.
"If I only knew what we are looking for…"
"Then… split up?"
He stopped walking behind her and she turned around wide-eyed, wondering if she said something wrong. But then he chuckled.
"You know, that nothing good ever happens in movies, if people start to say these kinds of things. But since we are currently not in a movie~" He took a deep breath, sucking in the heavy air that around them. Ready to say something witty. Something punny- but he stopped himself, before he could have done any of it. And - yeah - once more she was unable to read him with the pain and darkness, that clearly lurked within the depths of his eyes. Why were they there - so much clearer now, that they were inside the Agreste Mansion? She couldn't tell. "So…yeah… I agree with you…"
All she could do was nod and both agreed to eventually separate by the impressive staircase, that was build in this house's center, both stopping here to take the destruction in.
The foyer had long lost its shine. The white of the marble seemed dirty, with all the graffiti on walls and floors. The chandelier has fallen to the floor - probably an act of vandalization as well - like everything here. The drawing of Gabriel, Emilie and Adrien, that was perfectly placed opposite of the front door was gone - rumors stated, that it was sold on the black market for good money.
For a moment she remembered, how she once stood at its lowest stair. Looking up to find Gabriel Agreste standing on the top. Tall, handsome, with a stern and stoical look on his features.
Back then everything used to be normal and he was just an idol, that she was admiring and looking up to. The father, of the boy she had a crush on. The poor man, whose wife has gone missing. In the past he was already quite a force to reckon with - for he was the one to keep Adrien locked away, if the boy didn't act as he pleased. Back then she didn't see the neglect and the manipulative ways he acted with.
…back then nobody would have thought, that he was the one to hide under the mask of her nemesis all along…
But things had changed. Would never be the same - especially not for those, who have once lived within these walls…
Ladybug shook her head to clear her mind. Gulping, as she felt the ever lasting pressure of these memories, to turn back to Chat Noir - who could only stare as well. Not moving and barely breathing. But his features were so tense. His hands balled into the tightest fists.
And he looked so unbelievably pale in those lights, that came from outside and too suddenly the strong, muscular man looked so vulnerable and small.
The young heroine wanted to do nothing more, but to reach out for him. Grab him, hold him tight. Until his deepest demons would lose their clutches on his heart once more.
But she barely could bring herself to move - couldn't bring herself forward to hug him most tightly, like they used to.
…with the last night in her mind and her fucked up feelings holding her back.
But eventually she did - at least to lay one caring hand on his broad shoulder, smiling up at him.
"Chat?" He let out a startled, little gasp. Stepping away and closed his eyes. Flinching, as he slowly came back reality. "Chat? Are you alright?"
"Yes…yes! It's just…" He opened his eyes again, heavily breathing, desperately trying to find words and to bring them over his lips. "I-I… We were here the last time, when we fought against Hawk Moth and Mayura. Coming back here just feels so surreal. Like visiting a dream… or… a nightmare…"
She frowned.
"Remembering the relationship to your own father, Chaton?"
He had talked about it before. True. And maybe Adrien's golden cage gave him some personal flashbacks as well.
Chat nodded.
"Y-yeah… something like that…" She opened her mouth once more, ready to speak, but was stopped, when he raised one hand to silence her. "Don't worry. I don't want to talk about it anytime soon…"
Why would she worry? Because it would reveal too much about his civilian life? Or was there another reason for it?
"We should look for…you know… anything, that might count as a clue…", came it from him once more, as silence had dared to fall all around him. "I'll take the second floor and you the first?"
He would take the personal bedrooms of the staff and family and she would go straight into Gabriel's atelier. It would work for her - but would it also work for him?
He gifted her a knowing grin, aware, that she was questioning his decision.
"We can also switch, if you-"
"Oh, no, nonono! I am okay with it. Just contact me, if you found anything…"
"Good…"
They parted ways - she jumped down the stairs with ease, making it at first straight towards the dinning room, while he would look upstairs.
But still she did not know what she expected to find…
The dining room was - compared to everything else, she had seen so far - almost surprisingly clean. Lesser paintings on the walls, two chairs were flipped to their sides and a thick cover of dust settled on top of the impressive table. Wax was on some places of the surface as well and she shuddered at the thought, that some crazy occultists placed candles there for some kind of dark Mass.
Yet this place was already creepy enough for her - even without these news and gossips surrounding it.
Ladybug walked around the table once. Looking up the walls, eyes cast to the ceiling, hoping to find anything, that could help her. Of course there was nothing - she merely placed those two chairs back on their original position. It felt just right to do so.
She stopped at the one, that was closest to the window. Grasping tightly onto its high back. Realizing the true size of this room, to wonder, how small Adrien must have felt, when he had eaten alone for so, so many meals. Days, Weeks and Months.
Years…
No mother, no father around and she doubted, that his bodyguard- the Gorilla - was allowed to eat once with him. Or Nathalie…
It was no surprise to the young woman within the suit, that he was inhaling the love from his friends, whenever he was around, or that he enjoyed to be around her parents, for they gave him the exact opposite, of what he had experienced as a child.
And…well, that he wanted to be the exact opposite as a father for Emma - if only Lila would give him that chance, without her constantly lurking behind them…
In haste, she turned around - unable to bear these dark thoughts at the moment and worried, that they would dull her gaze for the important things, and that it would keep her from focusing.
Walking over to Gabriel's atelier, instead.
…or that, what was left of it. For the intruders haven't been so kind on this room at all.
Nothing of it was left, abandoned and destroyed and tainted.
Ladybug gulped, as she looked to the shredded painting of Emilie, that used to be so, so beautiful- just like the now sleeping beauty as well. Merely her eyes remained - fragments of the original, she had seen once or twice before. And it pained her to see it like that.
Ladybug knew, that it would break both Adrien's and Gabriel's hearts, if they saw her painting just like that - her innocence lost behind slurs, black paint and rips of the canvas forever.
True - it was fitting with the darkness of the room, that has not left, when its original owner did ten years ago. And she did not even think once about the black painted walls and black tiled floor, when she thought of Gabriel Agreste. But the one darkness, that has always loomed around him, wherever he went.
"Gabriel, what have you done…", she murmured under her breath, shaking her head, as she thought of her former idol - father of the man she loved. A husband. A grandfather.
…gosh… he wasn't even aware of Emma!
And… he should know about her, shouldn't he? It was his right…wasn't it?
Maybe she could talk with Adrien about it, for it was up to him to decide, whether Gabriel should know about her, or not. Though… she already knew the answer to that…
Ladybug tore her eyes away from Emilie's lingering gaze in the darkness, that surrounded her - eyes, that bore into the very bottom of her soul. As if it was begging her to do the right thing.
She couldn't bear this thought - was worried, to disappoint everybody, if she wasn't able to find Lady Titalee soon.
Therefore, she started to walk, again. Around the room, walking close to the wall. Letting her hand slide over it, hoping to find just something, that the police wasn't able to find, when they seized everything to prove blame in that whole case, that was Hawk Moth. And there certainly has been a lot to take…
Yet, surely, they worked thoroughly. There was nothing to take for her. Nothing to find. No secret panel. No secret room - apart from those two, she was aware of.
Nothing…
"Fuck…", she mumbled under her breath. Annoyed and she felt the desperation within her rising. Asking herself why she had come here - came back after ten years and for the first time after their fight. Heck - what was she hoping to find in the first place? She wasn't a detective after all and miraculous discoveries only happen in movies. Not in real life…
So…maybe Chat Noir had more luck than her. Maybe his mind was clearer - with hers being still so endlessly occupied.
And if he didn't, then maybe they could search Hawk Moths liar and the repository, where Gabriel had hidden Emilie.
She just couldn't bring herself to enter those two places on her own… not now and not without Chat Noir's permission to do so…
And Chat - maybe it would help him to move on from the scars, that were left behind after the fight with Gabriel and Nathalie. For - hopefully - anything could help…
Before Ladybug walked back up the stairs she checked the kitchen, the impressive pantry and laundry. Storerooms. Guest rooms.
But there was nothing.
Of course…
Eventually she reached the stairs again. Slowly. Walking up, realizing, that it was a mistake to come here in the first place - for there was nothing for them to find here. And - let's face it - it was late and both should head home, when they were done.
"Chat?", she called, her voice heavy with defeat and her shoulders hanging from tiredness. "Have you-"
She stopped by an opened door, looking inside as she wanted to pass it. Stopping, as she saw her poor kitty inside.
He laid on his back, down there on the dirty floor. Eyes pinned to the ceiling, breathing calmly, hands resting on the stomach.
She gulped, halting by the door frame, sensing, that there was more to this scene than she could first see.
…wondering, if she was allowed intrude. To interrupt and speak. If she was even allowed to be here in the first place…
"Come here!" He waved her over. Not looking up, only his hand moving to invite her inside.
"Oh - I am sorry! I shouldn't have-"
"Hush… Come here and lay down. Just for a moment, M'lady…"
She hesitated, but only for a second, maybe two. Walking over to him. Not looking down, but laying beside him in the dirt and dust.
Feeling so small. So unimportant, as she laid there. With no sound, but their joined breathing around. The pressure of silence and isolation getting heavier and heavier with each passing second. She tasted the loneliness. The neglect. Felt like a trapped, little child.
It was a moment that spoke volumes to her - one, no matter how unimportant it seemed - she would always remember.
She didn't need to see the whole room. Knew exactly, that this used to be Adrien's small realm - the golden cage, that Gabriel has created for him. She couldn't even bear these few minutes, that they laid there and her heart ached at the thought, that he had to grow up like this.
"I believe he felt exactly like that…", Chat Noir whispered beside her, his voice throaty, as if he kept a sob from rising from his lips. "All these years… Can you imagine it?"
She shook her head.
"No…"
Her voice was heavy, too. Shaking. For tears burned in her eyes and holes started to burn in her heart - too painful to describe it in any way. Right there and now she knew, that she needed and wanted a hug. Feeling bad instantly, for the pity rising within her.
She knew, that Adrien would never want that from her. Pity. He wanted her to smile and tell him, that everything was going to be fine. That she was there and by his side. For he was the one to deserve these hugs and the warmth and encouraging smiles. Laughter. Company. Friends.
Love.
A family.
"'And sometimes I have kept my feelings to myself, because I could find no language to describe them in'. Sorry - I - ehr. It's from Jane Austin. And I believe, that these words describe Adrien's life here pretty well… I mean - look at this room! It's huge! He had everything a teenage boy could have ever dreamed about! But in the end… in the end his father wasn't just working hard, because he was well-meaning. Hiding from the truth, that was his missing wife. Nope - he was Hawk Moth all along…"
She sniffed.
Little was she amazed, that Chat had so much empathy for the other blond man. That he cared - eventhough he was the son of their arch nemesis.
"Didn't know, that you are into classical literature, Chaton~"
He chuckled beside her.
"I read a lot, M'lady…" He cleared his throat and sat up, smiling down to her, his eyes still glistening with unshed tears. "So…, Have you found anything?"
He was not ready to speak about the emotions, that were provoked by the visit of the Agreste Mansion. She could tell - and this small exchange on the dirty floor was all, he would grant her for now. Unanswered questions clung to her own lips - each one for those unresolved grudges and truths, that lingered within the very soul of her partner.
But she wouldn't press. Would wait, until he was ready to speak himself - if he even wanted to.
Therefore, she merely took a deep breath and sat up as well.
Shaking her head.
"Apart from dirt and dust and mean words on the walls. No. Nothing… You?"
"Just the bitter feeling of regret and loneliness?"
"Regret?"
Chat shrugged his shoulders and eventually stood up, reaching for her hand to help her as well.
"Never mind… This place here just fucks with my mind and I hate it. So -", he took a deep breath. "Anywhere else you want to look for?"
Ladybug pressed her lips into a thin line. Looking him deeply in the eyes - feeling that magnetic pull in his direction. Seeing their hands still connected- blushing, as she remembered the night before.
…when those marvelous hands have wandered over her body, down between her legs and-
She tore her hand from his, crossing her arms in front of her chest - in hopes it would hide her madly beating heart. Turning to conceal her blush in the darkness around.
"Oh- of c-course! We could go Hawk Moth's lair. And the secret room underneath the mansion. Haven't been there, yet. If you want to - of course…"
She could tell, that he was confused about her behavior, for his answer took him a second longer, than usual.
"The…the lair?"
"Haven't been there on my own. But if you want to leave-"
"Leave? I am not leaving you in this haunted mansion alone, Bugaboo…"
He wanted to joke. She knew that - knew him too well. But she noticed the little shaking in his voice, as he said these words. And she knew immediately, that he wanted to do nothing more, but leave.
He just wouldn't tell her the truth- not about that.
But this place wasn't good for his poor mind. She could tell. It wasn't good for her, either and she wouldn't say it out loud…
"Where to go first? I'll follow you, Milady~"
The room underneath the mansion - of course. Hidden away, build like a crypt, a secret, that Gabriel and Nathalie have shared for so long. Dark, moist and the walls were moldy by now. The beautiful flowers, that once were blooming here were long dried out and dead.
And the glass pod at the end of the gateway still empty to this very day.
"Can you believe, that Emilie Agreste was down here? All these years…", it blurted from her lips, before she could have stopped herself. "The wife. The mother…"
He was silent. Standing behind her. Just staring. Grinding his teeth, unable to take his eyes from the sign in front of him.
"Gabriel loved her all this time. He-"
"He is a monster!"
Ladybug's eyes widened at that.
"How can you say that?"
He sucked in the air around them, shaking his head, as he stepped closer to the pod.
"Everything he ever did was wrong! He shouldn't have used the Butterfly Miraculous in the first place! He shouldn't have hidden her here. Shouldn't have kept his son locked away in his room. He-he should have moved on and should have given Emilie to the hospital right away and-"
"And in the end he did it all, because he loved her. Still does, until this very day…"
He turned around to face her once more. His eyebrows raised underneath his mask and a questioning look in his eyes.
"How can you say that? It sounds like you are defensive about his actions…"
"I am not…" - which was true. "But he was corrupted by the wrong use of the Miraculous. You know - they should never be used for a bad course. And now it will be the same with Lady Titalee. Her Akuma's will be getting stronger as long as we are not able to stop her. Her hatred for us well. And she already is quite ruthless and vile and-"
"Ladybug?"
"Yes?"
"We have done this before…"
They have. That was true. But now was different- Lady Titalee was a different villain.
…and they were different as well. They both were no teenagers anymore. Adults with own lives and dreams and wishes. Both formed into the shape of heroes, more now than ever and time hasn't passed them, either.
"We have…", she meekly said and nodded. "And I hope Lady Titalee won't be able to steal two years of our lifetime as well. These past days were already hard enough…"
He frowned.
"Just two years?"
Another sigh escaped her lips, understanding him pretty well.
…for they would not leave this war as the people they were before it - marching into an unknown future. It was the same with Hawk Moth - a legacy, that had changed so many lives, even their own. Stealing vulnerable time, which they can't get back.
"Hawk Moth's lair…", Ladybug mumbled, changing the subject in unknown hurry, as the pressure of their words lingered between them. Knowing, that they needed to keep moving and look for…
…well… look for something…
Though by now the young heroine was sure, that Lady Titalee had not set a foot inside the mansion and that she didn't find the information for the wish within these walls.
And to look inside Hawk Moth's lair was the only thing they haven't done tonight. And… after that they definitely should head home to rest and to think about something else.
…yeah…maybe talk with Gabriel and Nathalie once more. Maybe-
"Could you go alone?"
"Huh?"
There he was again - the boy behind the mask. Full of fears and worries and pain. Unable to cling to the power, that the magical ring was providing him. Stuck at the bottom of the abyss, that was filled with vile demons and gruesome shadows.
He was such a tall, muscular man and not even his physical state made it possible for him to carry all his burdens.
Heck- Chat Noir wasn't even possible to look her in the eyes! Felt ashamed by his fears and the need to decline her suggestion.
But she shouldn't feel that way - especially not in front of him…
Never!
Therefore, she put a warm smile on her lips and approached him. Stopping in front of her, to gingerly lay a caring hand on his shoulder.
"I can do that…", she whispered with so much care in her voice. "And you go home, kitty. This place is doing something bad with you. I don't like that and I am no therapist to know if it is helping you in any way, or not…"
"Ladybug… I-I… I can't explain-"
Oh her poor kitty - if he could only tell her about everything, that occupied his mind. She would listen - but it surely revealed too much about himself and his secret identity.
"Then don't…"
"I will wait-"
"You heard, what I said…", each word was gentle, for she knew, that he shouldn't see her as his partner in that very moment. But his friend. And that was one thing she would never want to change - even with the kiss, that has happened between them and the certain intimacy they have shared in her living room. "Go home. Rest. I'll let you know if I found something…"
"When?"
Her smile turned sad and both hands rested on his shoulders by now, gazing into those eyes, that captured her heart each time anew.
"Surely when Lady Titalee wants us to fight, again…"
"But-"
"Good night, Chaton!"
She blew a tiny kiss on his cheek. Biding him goodbye like that, leaving the secret respiratory first.
Knowing, that was better for her to leave now, before…
…before anything could have happened.
Ladybug didn't even know if she should have kissed his cheek and how he had reacted. If he had stayed a little longer, or left right away.
She had to make this decision for them and Hawk Moth's lair was awaiting her!
Yet…she already knew, that there also was nothing for her to find in - leaving herself to go home with another opportunity and another night wasted.
…staying away a little longer, only to wonder, what has scared Chat Noir's soul so deeply.
A/N: It certainly is a calmer chapter. No fight, no love declared. Just a traumatized young man and a very forlorn woman. No answers.Originally I had their visit to the Agreste Mansion much much later planned- but it wouldn't have worked with all the searching for possible clues. Ladybug is really desperate to grab any straw she could get - searching the mansion is one of them.Eventhough Mari still suffers from Chat's actions, we know, that he is the one, who truly suffers - returning to the place, that he associates with so much hurt and pain. And she can't help him...I promise to return here in the future for another chapter and to visit Hawk Moth's lair!So... I really hope, you like the chapterNext chapter: Really, HER?!