Emma Pov
3 weeks later.
I am sat outside the therapists room, waiting to be seen for my first session with Mr Hooper.
My insides are churning and I think, I am going to be sick.
I then, feel a hand, Regina's hand, cover my own on my bouncing knee and I relax slightly.
"It's going to be fine" her soft voice tells me and she squeezes my hand.
"And if at any point you decide this is not for you, we shall leave. There's no pressure okay?" she then says seriously and I nod.
I then move, to write something down on my tablet.
I still can't believe your sister is paying for these sessions. You never, really told me why she is doing this for me?
"She's actually very fond of you Emma" Regina smirks and I then smile slightly, as I remember Zelena walking into Regina's bedroom 3 weeks ago and handing me an envelope.
I remember, looking at it confused and she had said open it, which I did and found, that there was a couple of hundred dollars in that envelope and I had looked back to her in confusion and she had just smirked at me. The same smirk, that Regina had directed at me just now, it seriously is an inherited trait from their mother.
"That should cover a few sessions at least. I saw what you guys were looking at on the computer, when I took it to check my work emails. You left the page open" she had said and Regina and I had looked at one another in surprise.
Zelena then told us "I know you guys don't have that kind of money. So, if you still want to look into that therapy, you can"
My eyes then teared up and I didn't know what to say and here I am now. Waiting for my first session, in which I hope will bring some sort of closure and hopefully will lead to me finding my voice.
I then hear my name being called and I come out of my musing and look up to see the man, that was pictured on the website, standing in front of me.
"Miss Swan?" he says with a smile and I nod.
"I am Mr Hooper. Please come into my office" he then says, and gestures to the room with the open door.
I then swallow thickly and stand up. I can't let my nerves get the best of me, I tell myself and I then go to walk into the room but I notice, that Regina is still sat down.
This causes me to frown, as there was no way in hell, I was going in alone.
So, I go and take her hand gesturing for her to join me and she smiles and then stands, whilst squeezing my hand in understanding.
"I see your friend will be joining us today?" the man then says, as he follows us into the room, moments later.
"I think that is pretty obvious" Regina then states a little sarcastically and I just grin at her because yes, it is pretty obvious.
"Okay. Please sit down" Mr Hooper says, once we are standing inside his office and me and Regina move to the long brown sofa and we sit down.
I then, take a moment to look around the room, noticing filling cabinets, a wide window with blinds, certificates of qualifications upon the wall and a picture of a dog.
"His name is pongo" Mr Hooper then says with a smile and I look to him in slight surprise, that he had caught me being nosey.
I then smile slightly to try and hide my nervousness.
"We can take this at your own pace Emma. I want you to feel comfortable in this safe space" he then explains and I blink and nod.
"Okay. Where would you like to begin Emma?" he then asks and I really don't know and we sit in a long silence. Until the therapist says "I have read the form you filled in when you applied for these sessions but would you like to tell me yourself, when you first stopped speaking?"
I then swallow thickly and look down to my tablet and begin to write.
When I was five.
"Can you tell me what lead to that?" he then asks.
I then take a deep breath and begin to write again.
Him.
"Him?" Mr Hooper then says seriously and I frown.
Regina then leans towards me.
"Its ok Emma" she tells me softly.
I then close my eyes briefly, before beginning to write again.
Yeah him, he was one of a few foster father's I had. He was the worst.
"I am sorry to hear that Emma. Would you like to talk more about that? we don't have to today if you don't want too"
I want to but its hard.
Mr Hooper nods.
"I understand. Most of my clients have a hard time opening up about their situations. Its perfectly normal"
I then swallow thickly and think is it though?
"Would it help if we start at the beginning? before what happened to you?" Mr Hooper then asks softly and quickly write on my tablet.
I think so.
"Okay" he then gives me a reassuring smile, which puts me a little more at ease.
I was with a temporary foster family for a few weeks, before I was placed into a more permanent one. I write down and show the man opposite me.
"And you never had any issues with your speech at that point?" he then asks.
I then my shake and begin to write again.
No, I spoke normally. I can remember that.
"Okay" the therapist then replies and begins to write something down on his notepad.
"Do you remember how you felt about moving home to home?" he then asks.
I don't know really, I suppose I was a little sad. I wanted a real mom and dad.
I then see Mr hopper nod, like he understands.
"From your records, there is little mention of your birth parents. Do you know anything about them?" he asks.
They abandoned me. There's nothing else to say. I write down bitterly.
"You seem to hold, some resentment towards them?"
I then take a deep breath and begin to write again with a clenched jaw.
Wouldn't you be? it feels like I wasn't good enough for them and it is their fault I ended up living with that man!
I then then look to Regina for some kind of comfort and she looks sadly at me and squeezes my arm.
"Can I ask why you keep referring to your past foster parent as him and not by his name?" Mr Hooper then asks me and I take a shaky breath and l look down to my tablet and write.
Because I hate him.
""Hate is a strong word"
Its not strong enough for him.
Mr Hopper then tilts his head and begins to write upon his notepad again. Before, seemingly changing the topic to what my life is like now and we spend the rest of the hour session talking about that.
When we leave Mr Hooper's office, Regina asks me "Are you okay?"
I then nod, even though I don't know how I feel.
"I know Mr Hooper said it will take time, but do you want to go back for another session next week?" she then asks, as we walk to her car.
I then quickly write down, Yeah, I think I'll give it another go. It wasn't so bad.
She then smiles at me and nods. Before taking me back home, where I curl up against her on the sofa, as we watch tv.