Here and Now
Castle, Beckett, and a non-soulmate soulmate AU
Detective Kate Beckett's police cruiser screeched to a halt in the parking lot of a dingy motel; she had the car door open practically before the vehicle stopped moving. In her mind the same phrase had played on repeat since she'd arrived at a horrific realization about twenty minutes prior: Please don't let him be hurt. Please, please, please. Not Castle. Please not Castle. Based on their deductions, Castle would not be alone in the room with the serial killer 3XK, now known to be a man named Jerry Tyson, but Kate's concern was not for Detective Ryan. Of course, she did not wish for Ryan to be injured, either, but it was for her partner that her heart ached; he was the one she couldn't bear to be without.
If even just a day prior someone had asked Kate how she felt about the man typically occupying the passenger seat in her cruiser, she would have said that he was her friend as well as her colleague. That she appreciated their friendship as it was one of the closest she'd ever had. He was also one of the best partners she'd ever had with her job, even if he was not technically an employee of the NYPD. Instead, he called himself a consultant so that he could work with her as a way to do research for his novels, which centered around a female NYPD detective. This was not to say he was unhelpful—quite the opposite, in fact.
Were Kate to have sat down and thought seriously about her relationship with Castle and tried very hard not to let her fears and anxieties get in the way, she probably would have gone as far as to say that she cared about him. It truly had not been until she realized how imminently his life was in danger that she realized that she cared about him quite a bit and that he was, in fact, her best friend, and someone she would be heartbroken to lose from her life.
Two and a half years earlier, when Richard Castle first popped up in Kate's life, she could not have fathomed feeling that way about him. He was arrogant, childish, and exceptionally annoying. He stomped his way through her job—and her life—like a teenage boy on a sugar rush. It took several months for her irritation to fade into what slowly became appreciation. Yes, he was annoying, and his methods were far from conventional, but he was smart and resourceful. He saw things that—she was begrudgingly forced to admit—others did not due to the fact that he was more inclined to search for the story rather than focusing solely on evidence. Over the next year, that appreciation bloomed into friendship, especially once she finally let go of all her pretenses and realized she was actually having a lot more fun with him at her side.
Their present case, however, was one of the few exceptions where no fun was to be had. From the moment their victim was suspected to be one from a new round of the Tripler Killer's killings, the stakes were too high to have a lighthearted attitude (or as lighthearted as an attitude one could have while solving run-of-the-mill murders). Kate had been proud of her team's success in rounding up a killer who had escaped the NYPD four years earlier and had killed so many women. Then, when Castle and Detective Ryan didn't return from their conversation with the confessed-killer's cellmate, Jerry Tyson, she'd put the puzzle pieces together and become absolutely horrified.
Tyson was the real Triple Killer. Tyson was trying to make a grand escape. Castle and Ryan were about to interrupt that escape and it put them in the most dangerous position: the direct path between a cornered psychopath and his way to safety.
As the parking lot of the motel became illuminated by flashing bulbs of red and blue, Kate charged up the motel stairs towards the room Jerry Tyson had been hiding out in. She kicked down the door without hesitation and held her gun at the ready. Her heart slamming against her rib cage she called out, "Castle?" while the dust from the splintered door bloomed into the air.
"Clear," the weary-sounding voice of her partner responded. "He's not in here; he's gone."
The well-trained detective did not lower her weapon until she stepped in the room and saw for herself the scene inside: Castle tied to a chair and Ryan collapsed in a heap on the ground, a small amount of blood trickling from his forehead.
Wide-eyed, Kate glanced back to Castle who, evidently ready her mind, and gave a gentle shake of his head. "I'm fine; Ryan could probably use an ambulance."
"N-no, 'm fine," the detective said feebly before coughing and trying to move his head.
"Don't get up, Ryan; Espo's right behind me." Kate said, though there was no need as the other detective on her team was plowing through the door of the motel room a millisecond after she spoke.
Kate quickly checked the bathroom to be certain it was empty and then holstered her weapon. She walked over to where Castle sat and crouched down by his side to begin untying what appeared to be a cut power cord lashed around his wrists. "I'm so glad you're okay," she said softly.
His face remained stoic as he looked at her. "It was him—Tyson. He's the triple killer."
She nodded. "I know; I figured that out when you and Ryan didn't come back."
Once his hands were freed, Kate stood up and moved to check on Ryan, but Esposito had hoisted him up to sit on the bed. Confident he was being taken care of Kate hurried out into the hallway of the motel so she could inform the uniforms to canvass the area. She very much doubted they would catch Tyson in the surrounding area given that he had a least a fifteen-to-twenty-minute head start, but they still had to look.
After relaying the instructions to all the available units, Kate returned to the side of her somber-seeming partner. She put her hand in the center of his back and guided him out of the room so that the CSU team could sweep the room for any remaining evidence. By the time they were descending the stairs down to the parking lot, Captain Montgomery had joined the ever-growing collection of uniformed officers in the area and Castle explained to him what had transpired in the motel. Kate listened, but when Montgomery asked him to repeat the story for the official record, she slipped away to get them both coffees from the motel's lobby.
Upon returning, she found Castle sitting on a bench that faced the motel's inground pool. She sat beside him, passed him the coffee, and asked the question that had been weighing heavily on her mind. "Why do you think he let you live, Castle?"
She was and forever would be grateful that Castle had escaped death. If she had broken down that motel room door to find his lifeless body beside Ryan's she was certain a part of her would have died as well. Thankfully, that was not the case, and whether it be by luck or part of his own cleverness—or a bit of both—he had made it through, but the investigator in her could not help but be curious as to why.
"To punish me," Castle said confidently. "To make me pay for ruining his plan. Now he's going to kill again, all because I couldn't stop him, and I just feel so…."
Her heart clenched, knowing the feeling well. Her case closure rate was high—the highest in the precinct, as it happened—but it wasn't one hundred percent. Those unsolved cases haunted her, just like her mother's murdered did. Those killers got away meaning they could kill again. Did that make those new killings her fault? Absolutely not and she would definitely make it clear to Castle that he bore no responsibility for Tyson's future killings, though she certainly understood the urge to blame oneself.
With a heavy breath, she reached out and put her hand on his knee. "I know the feeling."
His hand landed atop hers and he sighed, "I know you do."
Each of them gently sipping on horrible-tasting coffee, they continued to sit there in silence for several minutes. Just as Kate was about to suggest that she drive him home, a breeze blew a pamphlet across the ground at her feet, and she caught sight of the message it bore.
Soulmate Specialty Store! Customized Apparel & Décor for You and Your Perfect Mate!
She scoffed and turned her head away from the offending piece of litter. The last thing she needed to think about in that moment was one of the things that she disliked the least. She already faced enough reminders living in the day-to-day world.
The subject of soulmates was one rarely discussed between Kate and her partner. In fact, they never even spoke about it at all until about seven months into their partnership when it came up with regards to a case. A man had killed his girlfriend in a jealous rage after he found out she had been cheating on him; they had been together for eight years, since they were in their last year of high school. After the killing, he was so overcome with remorse that he turned himself in and Kate was the unlucky detective who took his confession.
"You must feel justified," Esposito had said when she returned to her desk after taking the man to central booking.
"Of course not," she replied immediately. "A woman is dead and there's no justification for that."
Castle, who had been sitting in the chair beside her desk playing with his phone, put the device away and looked at her curiously, "What is he talking about?"
She'd huffed out a breath, not wanting to voice her obviously unpopular opinion aloud, but he'd asked so… "Soulmates—I don't believe in them."
Like so many before him, Castle's eyes grew wide and he looked a bit pale and utterly baffled, almost as though she'd said she didn't believe in the moon despite the nightly evidence in the sky. "You...you don't…?"
They went back and forth for a while with him continually expressing his shock and her confirming repeatedly that she didn't have any interest in the concept. He then sat quietly for several minutes before confessing, "My soulmate died."
Kate's jaw had dropped. Since she didn't believe in soulmates, she didn't often think about why a person was or was not married to their assigned mate. She knew that Castle had been married and divorced twice and had a daughter from the first union; that was all she really needed to know about his romantic past. Still, this confession shocked her, but it wasn't so much that the death was his soulmate—she would have still been shocked if he had said one of his previous wives had died. "What?"
He nodded. "When she was ten; she drowned after falling off a boat her family had rented. Her name was Kyra."
"Oh god. How did you find out about it?"
"When I turned thirteen I got a letter."
Kate had pressed her lips together, considering. Presumably taking this as a sign he should continue, Castle did so.
"Meredith had a soulmate who she was in a fight with, so she had a fling with me... she went back and forth between us twice when Alexis was quite little until I asked her to just not return—to me. She can see Alexis whenever she wants but as you may be aware, she doesn't have too much interest in that either. As for Gina…she just said she and her soulmate didn't get along and I never pressed for more information."
"I see."
He clasped his hands together and leaned them against her desk as he continued. "To your point—I do understand that soulmates don't work out for everyone. My experiences taught me that and this case certainly is a reminder—but for the majority they do and that's why I believe."
Feeling annoyance bubble to the surface inside her she blurted out, "But why! They doom so many to sadness. Cases like this one... I was never a big believer. Call it too independent, too stubborn, too skeptical, or... I don't know. Whatever the case: I was never big on it but...well, things happened. My first week on the job I responded to a noise complaint, suspected domestic incident. Records showed there had been three other domestic calls to the same residence over the prior six months. My TO and I went to the apartment. It was quiet then, but we knocked. A man opened the door covered in blood. My partner cuffed him; I went inside. He'd beaten her to death. Punched her and kept punching her even after he'd broken his own fists. When he was interviewed, he said she'd spilled beer on the television remote and he couldn't stand how clumsy she was anymore. They were 'soulmates,'" she concluded using air quotes.
Castle shook his head, his lips curled. "Well, that is absolutely horrific and disgusting, but I don't think its representational of soulmates in general."
She scoffed, said, "Yeah, well I'd rather not risk it," and then turned back to her paperwork.
They'd never spoken of soulmates in any detail again.
"Beckett?"
At the sound of her name she turned her head quickly to the side to see Esposito approaching with a glum look on his face. When he stopped in front of her he said the phrase she anticipated, "Canvass turned up nothing; looks like Tyson is in the wind."
"Thanks Espo." Then, turning to Castle, she said, "Why don't I drop you off at home, okay?"
He agreed with a nod, and they drove silently to his place on Broome Street. Sensing the experience had really rattled him, Beckett parked her cruiser and walked Castle up to his apartment door. When they paused in front of it and he pulled out his keys, she saw his hands were shaking.
"Here. Let me," she said gently. She took the keys from his hand and slid them into the lock. Glancing back over her shoulder at him, she saw he looked rather embarrassed.
"Sorry, I, ah, I guess its slowly settling in now—how easily he could have…"
"But he didn't." She said firmly. Inside the apartment she placed the keys on the table by the door as she'd seen him do many times over the years. Then, she turned, placed a hand on each of his arms, and gazed at him directly. "He didn't, Castle. You're okay. You're going to go to bed, rest up, and then you're going to help us catch him."
He nodded, though she could see his eyes brimming with emotion. Wanting to comfort him, she slid her arms around his shoulders and gave him a friendly hug. As she pulled back, she brushed her lips against his cheek, meaning for the gesture to be one of comfort. Instead, his warm breath against her cheek was a reminder of just how close she came to losing him. Just how easily Jerry Tyson could have used Ryan's gun to end both their lives.
As she was slow to pull away from him, Castle's hands came to rest at her hips, and she drew in a sharp breath. One heartbeat later, he'd turned her his head and his lips brushed against hers. She instinctively pulled back from him, but after a second's consideration she realized she was more surprised than unhappy. Deciding a moment of tenderness was what they both needed to heal from the stresses of that day, she leaned towards him for another kiss. He moaned against her lips and the sound shot a lightning bolt of pleasure from her heart all the way to her low belly. She parted her lips, slid her hands up to cradle the back of his neck and immediately decided they needed more than just a moment.
Later, when she lifted her head off of his chest with the intent of sliding out of bed, she barely moved half an inch before he gruffly requested, "Stay. Please."
She hesitated, lifting her gaze to look at him in the dim light of the room. She certainly hadn't walked him to his door with the intent of staying for more than a few minutes let alone the whole night. And if their intimacy was meant to be a onetime thing, all in the name of comfort, did staying send the wrong message?
"Please," he continued, "I just don't want to be alone tonight."
Feeling the tug on her heartstrings at his soft, genuine tone, she silently agreed and stretched back out beside him, unsure of what possibly awkwardness the morning and following days could bring but wanting to be there for him—her friend, her partner—all the same.
"Can I help with anything?" Kate asked as she carried her dinner plate into the kitchen and placed it on the counter near the sink.
Her partner, who was already at the sink washing the spatula he'd used in making their meal, gave her a demure smile and then nodded towards the table she just vacated. "If you could bring over the left-over veggies, that'd be great."
"Sure, no problem." She returned to the table, grabbed the two serving bowls, and brought them to the counter as well. Then, she returned to the table another time to snag her glass of wine and pour the remnants into her mouth. As she brought the empty wine glass into the kitchen, she couldn't help but chuckle inwardly at how quickly she'd adapted to domesticity with her partner. It was easy—shockingly so—but then again, maybe it shouldn't have been that shocking.
Five months earlier when they had slept together after Kate had rescued Castle from Jerry Tyson's hotel room, she genuinely thought the event would be a one-time thing, just the act of two people comforting each other. Then, the following day, when he joined her back at the precinct, he invited her to dinner. Thanks to her being assigned to a new case, that event did not end with them back in his bedroom, but two nights later, when they went out for a burger after she finished her arrest paperwork, they ended up in hers.
As the weeks progressed these events kept happening—they would go to dinner or get drinks or do another date-like activity and then end up having sex. As the frequency of the events increased, Kate realized they had effectively entered into a relationship, though neither actually acknowledged it, nor officially labeled their activities as dates. Still, she didn't feel compelled to spend time with anyone else and, given the frequency at which they spent time together, suspected he didn't either.
In nearly all her previous relationships, Kate often found herself feeling stressed about sharing too much of her life or feeling like things were moving too fast, but with Castle she made a concentrated effort not to think about those things at all. As a result, she found herself actually having fun and enjoying their time together. She was laughing and smiling more than she ever had before—and the amazing sex certainly was a plus. She just enjoyed being with him and looked forward to their one-on-one time together every time the opportunity arose.
"So what are we thinking for tonight?" Kate asked once Castle had stacked the dishwasher with everything suitable for that type of wash. "I think there's a Mets game playing… or we could keep going on that documentary ser…what?" she asked once he turned to her with an obvious frown.
With a huff of breath, he gave a little shake of his head. "What are we doing here, Kate?"
"What?"
"What are we doing here? You and me."
Kate felt the skin at the back of her neck prickle. His comments felt so sudden and out of place she was a bit shocked at first, but she managed to recover quickly. Though she wouldn't have been ready to jump in to labeling their coupling five months ago, at this point she had no issue acknowledging what they were. "We're dating."
"But to what end?"
The furrows in her brow deepening, she began to feel a sickly feeling in the pit of her stomach. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"We're not soulmates, Kate."
Her eyes widened and she felt a mixture of frustration and annoyance bubble in her gut. Of all the things she thought he'd say, she had not expected that. After all, what did soulmates have to do with the established relationship that they had? "I don't-"
"No, listen," he cut her off in a tone that was atypically harsh for his usual jovial demeaner. "That man from the case—he was devastated because his soulmate died."
Kate pressed her lips together and breathed in through her nose. So that's where this was coming from; at least it wasn't entirely random.
Shortly after lunch the day before she had gotten a call about a forty-five-year-old woman being found dead in her apartment by her husband. Evidently, the husband came home most days for lunch, and had found his wife sprawled out on the ground just outside the bathroom. Though he was a suspect initially, a search of the apartment turned up cleaning chemicals around the bathroom's toilet. The ME's office confirmed that the woman had died from asphyxiation, which was most likely brought on by the accidental mixing of cleaning chemicals and the woman's severe asthma. The death was the ruled an accident, though a tragic one as they had two young children.
"That man was devastated because his wife died." In her view, soulmates had no relevance in the issue. His wife and the mother of his children was dead; of course he was devastated.
"But you heard him," Castle continued, referring to the way he'd cried when they informed him of the ME's results. "'My soulmate, my soulmate, what am I supposed to do now?'" Castle repeated the man's sobs.
Shaking her head with annoyance, Kate gestured sharply with her right hand. "See this—this is why I hate soulmates. He feels doomed to loneliness, but that's not at all the case."
"That's how it feels, trust me," the writer said, acerbically.
"Really? that's how you felt at thirteen?" she asked with notable disbelief.
"Yes, because everyone-"
"What if everyone's wrong?" She challenged, the frustration she felt from his stance, which she found utterly absurd, bubbling over into a boldness she didn't realize she had when it came to matters of the heart. "I can see how for some it is a nice concept but dooming the rest of the population to solitude isn't right either. Besides the process feels so fixed. How do they know who your alleged soulmate even is?"
"Science," he said with a simple shrug.
"But love isn't science! It's a feeling. It's a challenge. It's a choice." She let the words hang in the air for a moment as he stared at her a bit wide-eyed. Then, taking in a breath, she continued, "It's hard to mash your life together with someone else, especially as adults with past life experiences but it should be something you choose, not chosen for you. We go through so many different stages of our lives; we change so much. It only makes sense for us to choose the person who is right for us here and now."
They stood in silence for over a minute before Castle asked softly, "Don't you wonder about him?"
"No."
"Really? Because I do."
Kate's eyes widened with shock. "You...you wonder about the man I was matched with?"
"Yes."
"Why?" she asked, for she never even gave the mystery gentleman a passing thought.
Castle shrugged and then began to pace the tight kitchen area. "Because I wonder what goes through his head. Does he think about you? Is he alone? Does he feel hurt? Does he wonder why? He'd know you're not dead, just that you don't care."
A red flash clouded her vision momentarily and she felt her gut begin to tighten. "Oh, so you think I'm terrible?"
"I didn't say that—don't put words in my mouth!" he snipped.
"Well, what if I don't care, Rick?" She practically growled out the response. "I've never met him. I don't know anything about him." As the words came out, she realized how cold and callus they sounded, and she truly didn't mean them to be. She was sure whoever her match was that he was a decent person and wished no ill-will towards him, but that was where her feelings stopped. She had no desire whatsoever to meet him, to get to know him, and certainly not build a relationship for him. To her, he was no different than the person who stepped onto the subway in front of her.
"You could," he said carefully.
Kate took a step back from him, realizing now that if he was persisting with this subject, there might be something else going on. Her heart rate steadily increasing, she stuttered out, "I—I don't...what is this? What are you doing? I thought you were happy."
His expression softened. "Of course I'm happy with you, but it's not...fair."
"To whom? Some guy you've never met?"
He raked his hands back through his hair. "It's not that simple. I know what it's like not to experience a soulmate like so many do and its hard."
Her eyes narrowed slightly. "So are you saying that you'd rather be with Kyra than me?"
"No, it's not..." He threw his hands up, then shook his head, and took a moment, apparently collecting his thoughts. Then he approached her with his hands clasped together. "Yes, some days I do wonder what it would be like to have met her and experienced that connection, but it's been over twenty-five years since I found out she died so that's not a persistent thought. I also don't want to stand in the way of another man—another person," he corrected, gesturing to her, "experiencing that if I can."
"You're breaking up with me," she concluded with no small amount of astonishment. She couldn't say that she had never been broken up with before as that was untrue, but historically she was nearly always the person who ended a relationship. Thus, his actions would have been shocking regardless, but the fact that he was breaking up with her over an issue she found so improbable hurt all the more.
"I didn't say that. I just... I'm trying to figure out why you're so resistant to opening your soulmate match because, frankly I can't understand it."
"Well, I'm sorry, but you don't have to," she said firmly. "It's my life and my choice. I get to make my own decisions. I get to choose who if all in love with."
"You might fall in love with him," he commented, stubbornly.
Kate felt a swell of emotion surge through her chest and the words fell out of her mouth before her brain had a chance to stop them. "But I love you. I love you right now. Isn't that enough?" As she heard it come out, she found herself startled by the confession, but in the seconds that passed afterwards she realized just how real those feelings were to him. Castle was unquestionably unlike anyone she'd ever known before. He made her laugh like no one else could, and the partnership they had solidified before the romantic portion of their relationship began solidified them even more in her mind, but for some baffling reason he didn't seem to feel the same.
"Oh Kate," he sighed out her name as though she was the deity he was destined to find. Stepping up to her he slid his hand gently below her jawline. "I'm saying this because I love you. I want you to be your happiest."
"And that can't be with you." Her voice was barely above a whisper, and she made the comment sound more like a statement than a question because that was how his words made her feel. She backed away from him, needing some space to think and process their conversation. Confessing their love for each other should have made her feel elated and safe, but instead she just felt a little bit like she was about to vomit.
"Kate…" She heard him sigh out her name, but he said nothing else, which led her to conclude that he thought her statement to be correct and he didn't have anything else to say on the matter.
Though she felt she should leave the apartment, her legs didn't seem strong enough to carry her that far, so instead she only made it back to the kitchen table where she collapsed down in the chair she had been laughing in not fifteen minutes earlier. She sat there quietly for the better part of ten minutes reviewing their conversation in her mind. Though she didn't understand his viewpoint, she could understand that someone who believed so strongly in the soulmate idea would struggle to understand her stance against it. Perhaps in that sense she could meet him in the middle and compromise on the subject without actually throwing away the thing she now realized she was desperate to keep.
Standing from the chair, she slowly turned to see Castle leaning against the kitchen counter, his chin dipped down towards his chest. "What if I meet him?"
The writer looked up. "What?"
"If I agree to open my soulmate file and meet him, will you let this go? If I tell him that I'm with someone else so that he knows he's free to do the same, is that fair?" Thinking about it, Kate realized that Castle had a somewhat fair point about her soulmate. If he truly believed in the soulmate program, then he would definitely be wondering why his mate had never unlocked their match. He would know she was not dead since, as Castle's situation had proved, he would have been notified. She conceded that it would be fair to simply let him know her stance so that he no longer had to live in wonder, but she had little interest beyond that, and hoped that would be enough to placate the concerns Castle had voiced.
Castle pressed his lips together for a moment, then slowly nodded. "I think you absolutely should meet him and if...if you get to know him and still want us to be together yeah then yes that's fair."
"Okay," she agreed, and then pulled her phone out of her back pocket. As she navigated her way to the government's matching website, her brain reminded her that she had to do this thing she'd been avoiding for over a decade in order to keep the thing she wanted.
She loved Castle. He made her happy. He brought joy to her on days when it seemed impossible. Would they spend the rest of their lives together? In her mind, it was still a little too soon to tell, but she sure as hell wanted the chance to find out, so she would do what she had to in order to make that happen.
Once in the appropriate website she tapped in her information, went through all the security questions, and then, after providing her fingerprint for final appropriate identification, a profile was revealed to her. "His name is Gregory McDougal."
"Is there a picture?" Castle asked.
Kate nodded, though she didn't think it was very relevant as it was clearly extremely old. "Looks like it's from high school, but yeah." She turned the phone in Castle's direction so he could see the face of the young man with orange hair and bright blue eyes. When he nodded, she gazed down at the phone again and continued to scan through the information provided. "Looks like he lives in Queens."
"That's convenient, then," Castle pointed out.
She hummed and then put her phone away in her back pocket. "I'll contact him when I get home."
He studied her for a moment, then asked, "Are you angry I talked you into this?"
"Angry? No. A little frustrated, maybe. But if this is what it takes to prove to you that our relationship is worthy, then so be it." She paused for a moment then said, "I'm, ah, gonna go."
"Wait." He stepped up to her and without waiting for a response pulled her into a tight hug. "Please don't think that I'm not happy with you, because I absolutely am. I just want the best for you."
She slid out of his embrace, gave a small smile, and said, "I know," before walking out of the apartment.
Stepping into the midtown coffee shop, Kate had to admit to feeling a bit anxious. Her anxiety did not relate to meeting the man who was her alleged soulmate, but instead from wanting to have the meeting over and done with. She had spoken with Gregory only briefly enough to set their plans to meet up in person. He had sounded absolutely shocked to hear from her, which was fair; she would have been shocked too were their situations reversed. Still, she knew it was best to keep everything brief and as professional as possible.
When she walked into the café, Kate's eyes scanned the room, curious as to whether she'd recognize him since she only had a fifteen-year-old photo to go off of, but it was easy enough; the shop wasn't that crowded and there was only one red-headed man inside. He stood when she approached and she was surprised to see that he was quite tall, taller than Castle, in fact. He stood nearly a foot above her, and though his ice blue eyes looked the same as in the picture she saw, his face was now dotted with freckled and covered with a thick, orange-red beard.
"Gregory?" she said politely upon approach.
"Ah its Greg, actually." He corrected as he nodded in greeting.
She gave a polite head nod. "Well, I'm Kate." She held out her hand and he shook it.
"It's, um, really nice to meet you. Um, wow, you uh…your picture on the website does not do you justice. You're stunning," he commented. Then quickly offered, "Can I get you a coffee?"
"No, thanks; I'm fine, right now." She took a seat across from him at the two-seater table he'd claimed, folded her hands in front of her, and gazed at him pleasantly.
Greg, on the other hand, looked like his brain might have been exploding. "I, um, wow. Sorry, it's kind of hard to believe you're actually here." He laughed and dusted his fingertips over his brow. Kate could clearly hear the Queen's accent in his voice as he spoke, though she would not have said it was particularly strong. After a moment, he continued with, "I kind of thought after all these years I'd never meet you. Why, um, why now, if I can ask?"
She nodded and took in a breath. "Well, if I'm being honest: I'm here because of my boyfriend."
Greg blinked. "Your...? Oh."
Despite his deflated expression, she continued. "To be frank: I never really believed in this whole soulmate thing, which is why I never unlocked our match. My boyfriend is a believer, though, and he convinced me that I was being unfair to you by never opening the match, communicating with you, or giving you any indication of what was going on."
He nodded slowly. "I see. And your boyfriend's mate is…?"
"She died when she was a child."
"Oh. Sorry to hear that." Greg was silent for several seconds before clasping his hands together and leaning towards her slightly. "Okay so—sorry, I'm just trying to process—you're talking about your boyfriend so I'm guessing that means you're not interested in us."
She shook her head and spoke as kindly as she could, "No, as I said I never really believed in this soulmate thing. Are you, um, with someone right now?"
He took a sip of his coffee then leaned back in his seat. "No, not at the moment. I've had relationships in the past, of course, just nothing serious right now."
"I see."
"How long have you and your boyfriend been together?"
"Ah," she hesitated on that not-so-simple question. "Technically about five months, but we've been close friends for a few years."
He gave her a small smile. "That nice. Listen, um, since you did reach out to me and ask me to meet…would you humor me with some get to know you questions?"
"Sure."
He leaned forward and rested his forearms against the table. "I know you said you're a cop-"
"Detective," she corrected politely.
"Sorry, detective. What about your family? What are they like?"
"I'm close with my father, but my mother passed away; I don't have any siblings."
"No siblings?" he asked with a laugh. "Geez, I don't know what that would be like—I have six. And more cousins than I can count. Irish Catholics." He explained with a shrug. "What do you do for fun, Kate?"
She let out a breathy laugh. "Oh, um, well to be honest I work a lot, but solving cases doesn't always feel like work to me. It's definitely a passion. Outside of that, I do enjoy reading and horror movies."
Greg grinned and she could see that one of his front teeth was crooked in a way that gave his smile a rather endearing look it. "Horror movies? All right, all right; I can get behind that. Well, I work as an electrician, mostly in the construction industry, so for me a job's just a job and I like to do my time and then move on to other things. For instance: I'm in a bowling league with my dad and two of my brothers."
"Bowling league?" she echoed, a lightness to her voice. She hadn't heard a bowling league mentioned in conversation in…well, maybe ever. Outside of movies and TV, of course.
"Yeah, it's actually pretty fun. My parents were big into it when we were younger, so I grew up with it, you know?"
"Sounds like a nice tradition to carry on."
"Yeah, I like the classic feel of it. It's not high tech like video games and that sort of thing. It's simple. and a nice way to decompress." He smiled at her for a moment then said, "Okay, tell me something else about yourself."
With a little shrug she said, "Well, I um, spent a semester in Kiev when I was in college."
"Woah, really?" Greg responded excitedly. "The only foreign country I've been to is Canada. Tell me all about it!"
Later that day, after she'd returned to the precinct, finished up some paperwork, then talked shop with some of her colleagues for twenty minutes, Kate left for the evening and turned in the direction not of her apartment, but of Castle's. Though he'd told her that if she needed a few days of space after her meeting with Gregory, she could absolutely take them, she honestly didn't feel the need. With respect to her soulmate, she felt she had closure on the issue, and she believed it was time to move on to the next stage of her life.
"Oh, hey," Castle said with notable surprise when he opened the door after he knock. "Didn't expect to see you tonight."
"I wanted to talk. Is that okay?"
"Of course." He stepped aside and ushered her into the apartment and then proceeded to offer her a drink.
"A beer is fine, thanks. Or whatever you're drinking."
He walked into the kitchen, grabbed two beers from the fridge, then gestured for her to join him in the seating area. She did so and took the beer from his grasp, taking a long drink before sitting down beside him.
"So…how was Gregory?" Castle asked after several seconds of silence.
"Greg," she corrected gently. "He, um, was interesting. He works as an electrician, mostly in construction. He has a big Irish Catholic family and bowls in a bowling league."
An amused expression crossed Castle's face. "They still have bowling leagues?"
She chuckled. "Evidently."
"Huh," he commented before taking a sip from his bottle.
Kate mirrored his action then continued. "He…you know, it's so funny. Most of my life I've had this picture in my mind of the kind of man I wanted to be with, the kind of relationship I wanted to have. I thought that image was what I needed and what would best fit into my life. If I had met Greg at any time back then I would have said, 'See this is why soulmates are ridiculous, because he's nothing like what I'm looking for.' But then again…neither are you."
She smiled to herself as she lowered her gaze and ran her fingers across the condensation forming on the beer bottle she held. From her late teens, if she had been asked to describe a mate, she would have described him as serious, probably bookish, career-driven, kind and fun-loving but definitely not a jokester. In other words: almost the opposite of Richard Castle. Looking back then, it made perfect sense why those relationships had not worked out for her. Of course, she felt the need to hold back and keep one foot out the door. Those relationships weren't the ones best for her. Instead, she needed laughter, joy, and silliness mixed in with kindness, support, and genuine friendship. Her romantic expectations were one place Kate was more than happy to be completely wrong.
Turning back to her curious looking partner, she continued with, "Being with you made me realize I was wrong about what I thought I wanted. It wasn't at all what I need."
An uncertain expression crossed Castle's face. "So… being with me made you realize you could be with Greg?"
She couldn't help but laugh slightly at his incorrect conclusion. "Not at all." She placed her beer down on the coffee table then scooted closer to Castle and pick up one of his hands with hers. "He asked me why I was so resistant to soulmates for so long and I told him it was because I wanted to choose my own path. I didn't want anything telling me what I should do and certainly not who I should love. That's true...but deep down I also felt that I couldn't fall in love with anyone, not truly. After my mom's death I just closed myself up so much I refused even the slightest possibility...until you."
She gathered up her hand and held it to her chest and gazed at him never feeling more confident in the words she was about to say. "I can't explain it, but for the first time in my life I'm okay with the feelings I have. Being with you changed everything I thought about how my life should be and I'm glad because I'm happy. Genuinely happy for the first time. And I love you and I'm not scared of that either. So, no, I don't want to be with Greg. I want to be with you."
She felt Castle's hand grip more tightly to hers. "And… what did he say about that?"
"He understood, I think. He said he did, anyway. He said he appreciated my honesty, so I owe you a thank you for that. You were right; meeting up with him and telling him the truth was the right thing to do."
Appearing cautiously hopeful, Castle leaned forward, put his beer on the table beside hers, and then clutched on to both of her hands with his. "Are you sure about all this?"
Feeling her eyes begin to burn with tears and her chest tightening with emotion she nodded. "Yes. I've never been more sure about anything."
"Oh…Kate!" the writer cried out before gathering her up in his arms. She hugged him back tightly as a few tears slid down her cheeks. When she leaned back to kiss him, she could see the tears in his eyes as well.
"I love you. God, I love you," he sighed out before kissing her.
She kissed him back several times in return before agreeing, "I love you, too. Always."
A/N: thanks for reading. I'm trying to have a Christmas fic ready for December - Hopefully I'll be able to get it done :)