AN:We are dipping into the M rating here (yes, I am introducing it in Spinel's chapter). Nothing explicit yet, but we'll definitely get there sooner than you think.

Chapter 3: Thrift Shopping

Spinel loved the diamonds with all her being. They had become even closer over the years, and Spinel had grown to genuinely trust all of them.

Strangely enough, though, Spinel hadn't been spending a lot of time with them lately. Instead, Spinel had been spending all her free time in Blue's clouds.

Spinel laid in one now, happily floating in a blue bed of blissful tranquility in the highest reaches of Blue's atrium. She was alone, apart from Blue Diamond relaxing down below her. For once, Spinel was glad for this.

She had been thinking of Steven a lot lately. Of course, Steven regularly occupied most of her thoughts, but lately she felt completely consumed by him, her head unable to hold anything else. Her long-standing fear that he would one day tire of her notwithstanding, Spinel was feeling something stir within her that both scared and excited her.

Hope.

Spinel wasn't a fool. She knew just because Steven wasn't dating Connie anymore, that didn't mean she had a chance with him. Even though Spinel didn't believe herself to be as worthless and unlovable as she had in the past, she knew better than to get too optimistic. She wasn't hopeless, but she still just her.

Or at least, that was her usual line of thinking. When she laid here in Blue's clouds, though, all Spinel's doubts and fears seemed to thaw and melt away. Here, she could entertain possibilities. Here, she felt worthy enough to be loved by Steven in every way. And it was only here, in the privacy of the skies, that she could let that good feeling give way to even betterfeelings.

Romantic love was strange, Spinel had realized over the years. It did funny things to her body, and made her think funny thoughts. The mere fact that Steven was, at long last, available, made her fantasies run wild. The idea that all the rules and boundaries Steven had made over the years could potentially be renegotiated now that he was single – it made Spinel's head spin with possibilities. She'd lay for hours in the clouds, playing out everything she might actually be allowed to do to him, and everything that she desperately wanted him to do to her.

She imagined herself now, climbing onto his lap, his large hands holding her firmly. She had always loved the warmth that emanated from his human form, had always fantasized about chasing the softness of his skin, him allowing her to touch and explore his half-human body that he always kept covered in clothes. She imagined herself, permitted to pepper kisses where she could, giving thanks and appreciation for the boy she loved so dearly. He would reciprocate with soothing touches and soft kisses, and she'd feel electrified with every ounce of warmth she could reap from his touch.

An audible sigh passed her lips as she closed her eyes and imagined his hands caressing her, pulling her close to him because he wanted her close. Spinel had spent enough time watching human movies and studying every curve of Steven's mouth when he wasn't looking to visualize precisely what he might look like kissing her. She licked her lips, imagining his soft lips moving against hers, ravenous and oh so deliciously warm. She felt the light in her body tingle with excitement imagining how he might feel, every particle in her being vibrating with pure desire. In her mind, Steven couldn't get enough of her, abandoning her lips only to kiss every inch of her that he could reach. His lips would stop at her gem, looking up at her with his wanting eyes. He would wait for her consent and then he would kiss her there, soft and slow, his warmth burning pleasurably against the very core of her being. Without realizing it, Spinel had lifted her hand to touch her actual gem, gently following the trail she imagined Steven would blaze against her - so sensual and warm. Her entire body felt hot, and whole, and good. Her lips parted and a soft moan escaped her lips, her head tilting back as the very light that made her being danced inside her, so full and bright that she didn't know if her body could take it, burning white hot until-

-"Spinel?" Spinel opened her eyes and, for a moment, forgot where she was. Her back slightly arched and her hand still pressed against her gem, she released a breath she hadn't realized she had been holding, her body slowly coming down from…whatever that was. Warm and restless, she trembled with excess energy that hadn't gotten an outlet. She groaned at the missed opportunity to finish her fantasy, taking a moment to collect her bearings before rolling over and peering down below her cloud.

"Yeah?"she called, trying her best to mask the irritation in her voice.

"Sweetheart, you've been up there all day. Come sit with us!"Yellow Diamond called out to her. Spinel sighed. Dreaming of Steven would have to wait, it seemed.

White being the highest and thus closest, Spinel was able to stretch down to her shoulder in one go.

"Little star, whatever were you doing up there for so long?"White questioned, "You've been spending so much time in Blue's clouds lately. We're beginning to worry about you."

"Is there something wrong that you need my clouds to feel better?"Blue asked, giant eyes looking worriedly at her. Spinel kicked her feet lightly in the air, debating opening up to her family.

Something indeed was going on. Spinel was in love with someone who wasn't in love with her.

Spinel had long accepted that she would not get to know what it was like to be anything but Steven's friend. Having someone like Steven in her life made it difficult to complain, though. In the five years since she had first came crashing through his life, Steven had single-handedly taught her more about love, friendship, and trust than Spinel thought imaginable. If someone as sincere and genuine as Steven told her that he loved her as his friend – and regularly showed it in words and actions for years - she knew she was the luckiest gem in the galaxy. So she didn't push it. She accepted her reality. She tried her best to lock those feelings up, to joke them off - tell herself that simply having a place in such an amazing person's life was more than she could ask for.

Except Spinel was greedy. She couldn't just have the most amazing friend in the galaxy. She just had to be selfish. She had to want more. With her head literally out of the clouds, the reality of her situation suddenly struck her with a painful twist of the heart, and she remembered how pathetic she was.

"Actually…,"she started slowly, glancing sheepishly up at the giant eyes of her three friends, "I've been pretty down and out, lately."

"Whatever for, dear?" Spinel tucked her legs to her chest, holding herself despite there being plenty of room on White's expansive shoulder.

"Steven broke up with his human partner." To her surprise, all three diamonds gasped in delight.

"Oh, but that means now you can be together! That's wonderful news!" Spinel shook her head.

"He's super sad about it. He really loved her,"she explained, "…I've been trying really hard to cheer him up and be a good friend. I even helped him reconnect with her, so they could talk again. I-I want him to be happy, more than anything, but…"

"You don't seem happy yourself,"White observed.

"I am! Or at least, I should be…,"she said with a frown, "I've tolerated just being friends for this long already. But now, he can be with someone new. I know it's selfish, but I can't help but get a little hopeful. And then I feel bad for even thinking that, because he's hurting and he's probably not even worried about that stuff right now."

"I see no reason why you should feel bad for hoping,"Yellow remarked, "You love Steven, after all. It is only logical that you would want the feeling reciprocated.

"I know, but…lately I've been getting mixed signals from him. One second, he gives me a kiss without me asking and lets me hug him for a really long time, and then last week, he didn't even want to hug me goodbye. It makes me scared, like what if he can't stand being near me? It's hard enough as it is, holding myself back all the time. If he tells me I can't even be close to him, I dunno what I'd do…"

"Sweetheart,"White cooed, "You sell yourself too short. Of course Steven wants you close to him. Has he ever made an issue of it until now?"

"Yeah, a lot actually!"Spinel countered, the worry in her expression deepening, "He's really sensitive about me touching him certain ways, and when he says something is inappropriate or makes him uncomfortable, I'm not allowed to do it again unless I ask first."

"Have you asked him why it makes him uncomfortable, darling?"Blue questioned. Spinel blinked, realizing she hadn't.

"No, I guess not. I just do whatever he says, because I don't want him to leave…,"Spinel answered thoughtfully, "Not that it matters if he doesn't want a crumb off her cob like me anyways. I want so bad to ask him if it's even a possibility, so I don't keep wasting time hoping, but…"

"…You're afraid of the possibility that he may not only not share your feelings, but that he is actually repulsed by you in some manner,"White concluded. Spinel nodded sadly.

"That's why I like the clouds. I kind of start to forget the what-ifs the longer I'm up there, and then I'm only left with the good what-ifs I never really let myself think about anywhere else." Spinel bonked her head with her knuckles. "Stupid, naïve optimism. The minute I come down, I know better."

"Far from it, dear. I'm glad you have a place where you can believe in yourself. But if you truly want to know for yourself if you have a chance, surely discussing the matter with Steven directly would provide you better clarity,"Blue advised.

"Maybe, but…I'm too scared. He's…my rock, my everything. If he really doesn't want me close…I don't know if I could take that kind of rejection,"she confessed, looking worriedly up at the eyes of her family, "I…think I need a little time to work myself up to talking about it with him." The diamonds stared at her with large, sad eyes.

"If that's what you think you need, dear. We'll always be here." Spinel smiled to hear their reassurance.

Steven called her a few days later to let her know he was feeling better, as promised. Spinel warped down to Earth as soon as Steven was off work and barely took the time to notice any of the Little Homeworld gems waving hello to her. She sprinted at the first sight of him waiting by his car, then slowed down and paused uncomfortably as she approached. Normally she would have eagerly jumped into his arms and hugged him hello. Now she wasn't sure.

"Um…Please?"she prompted with a tiny smile, awkwardly holding her arms up. Luckily this time Steven seemed prepared. He hugged her with only one arm, though, their torsos barely touching. Spinel's heart twisted at the lack of contact. There was space between them, felt and literal, and it made all the excitement Spinel felt in getting to see him again instantly vaporize. Everything she had feared was being confirmed: Steven was avoiding touching her.

"Hi. I'm sorry we left last time on such an awkward note." Spinel couldn't bring herself to say it was okay. Instead, she forced a weak smile.

"So what's on the docket today, captain?"she asked instead.

"I actually have something for you first. To say sorry I hurt your feelings last week. I know how much goodbye's mean to you,"he explained. Spinel's mouth felt dry as she suddenly noticed Steven holding something behind his back. He was really going to keep bringing this up.

"What is it?"she asked innocently.

"Well, you're always bringing me flowers, so I thought I'd make you a special bouquet of my own,"he said, pulling out a cone of floral tissue paper. Inside were not flowers, though, but-

"Poprocks!"Spinel exclaimed excitedly, her face breaking out into a huge, genuine smile, "You remembered my favorite candy!" The bag was full of them – a rainbow mix of all different flavors. Spinel wasted no time popping a handful into her mouth, giggling at the fizzy feeling and crackling sound they made in her mouth. She looked appreciatively up at Steven, a more genuine smile on her face now. He really was so good to her.

"I can't believe you made this for me,"she said happily, holding the paper cone a little closer, "Thank you, Steven."

"You're welcome. I love seeing you happy,"he answered. Spinel couldn't look too long at him, his too-perfect smile and stupid kindhearted generosity was doing way too many funny, distracting things to Spinel's head.

"You're feeling better, then?"she asked through a mouthful of sweets, passing him the bouquet to share. Steven accepted a few pieces of the offered candy.

"Yeah…I definitely won't be one hundred percent for a while to come, but I've spent enough time in solitary confinement. Besides, I got pretty tired of laying around feeling sorry for myself and wishing you were here instead. I missed you." Spinel's face warmed. Did he know what he did to her when he said sweet things like that? It took all her self-control not to melt into the floor.

"I missed you, too, Sunshine. Every second of every day,"she confessed instead, smiling despite the distant ache in her heart.

"Yeah? You okay?" The question surprised Spinel, seemingly out of nowhere as it was.

"Dandy! Why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know. I've just known you long enough to know that look you get when you're secretly upset about something,"Steven observed with a frown.

"Um, I think I might be bringing you too many alien plants there, Steven,"Spinel defected with a nervous laugh, "Are we gonna go play, or what?"

"And then you usually change the subject…,"Steven continued, his brow furrowing in worry, "Seriously, Spinel. Is anything wrong?"

"Course not, silly. I'm happy as a clown!"she said, booping her own nose and somehow making it honk.

"Alright…You know you can always talk to me about anything. I'm here for you, just like you were for me,"he gently reminded her.

"Mm-hmm. SO what did you want to do today? I'm in an explorin' mood, how about you?"she asked evasively. Spinel made a point of walking toward Steven's car, effectively ending the conversation. Steven was surely giving her a look, but Spinel wasn't going to give him room. She knew how he liked to bug her to share her feelings. These particular feelings, though, were not to be shared until she was good and ready.

"Do you want to go get lost again?"Steven offered. Spinel spun around, nodding excitedly. She loved this game – The two of them drove, Spinel gave random directions, and Steven followed them. They had found dozens of neat hidden gems over the years driving to completely new areas.

"Hey,"Steven suddenly said as they were both about to enter the car, "Whatever's going on, I know you'll tell me when you're ready. But just in case you need to hear it: I love you." Spinel had to use every ounce of self-control not to break down in tears. She kept her back to him as he got in the car so he wouldn't see the pain in her expression. Those three were the sweetest words in the world, and yet they cut so painfully deep. Loving and being loved by Steven – it hurt.

She would have to give him a worthy response later, because if she didn't crack a joke right now, she would surely start crying instead.

"How much?"she asked instead as she got in and put on her seatbelt, giving him an exaggerated serious look. Steven tapped his chin in thought.

"Eight." Spinel deadpanned him.

"That's some weak-ass love, Steven."

"Turned sideways."

"Ooooooh shit."

Their wandering led them to quaint little town built around several apple orchards. The two friends shared a caramel apple to celebrate their find and then wandered the town center, talking and aimlessly window shopping.

"What's this?"Spinel asked, peering through a window of colorful displays. Steven glanced at the store name with a raised eyebrow.

"It looks like a thrift shop. They sell clothes here cheaper than regular stores. Some of the stuff they sell can be a little funky, though." Spinel grinned.

"I love funky! Let's go see!" The store was, indeed, more than a little funky. Nothing went together, and the clothing racks and displays were covered with strange statues of even stranger themes. A stand of feather colored feather boas stood next to a lifesize model of a scuba diver. A statue of a cowboy was placed next to a rack of pirate costumes. A mermaid fountain stood outside partnered with an odd-looking table of a snake holding up the glass. Steven fingered through a rack in utter confusion as he pulled out a 70s themed fringe shirt, a Hawaiian t-shirt, followed by a coat of what appeared to be bird feathers.

"…I think this is more like a costume shop,"Steven commented, looking around for any employees. It was hard to see through all the racks and…ornamentations.

"Hey Steven!"Spinel called out from another row, holding out a pair of jeans with one arm and a strangely placed 3d model of a human brain with glasses, "What do you get when you cross a pair of jeans with a brain? A genius!" Steven joined Spinel where the slightly more "normal" clothes seemed to be located.

"These might actually fit you,"he commented, gesturing to the jean shorts Spinel had found, "Want to try them on?" Spinel's eyes widened.

"Really? I can wear clothes?"

"Well, yeah, of course you….wait, have I really never taken you clothes shopping?" Spinel tapped her chin.

"I know we've been in lots of stores with clothes together, but I don't remember wearing any."

"Seriously? Well then, let's have extra fun with this! Let's try on lots of weird outfits and have a photoshoot!" Spinel clapped her hands together excitedly, easily agreeing. Spinel didn't know anything about sizes, cuts, or styles, so she started off copying her friend's simple look by finding a generic black graphic t-shirt to go with the shorts she had already found. Beside her, Steven was preparing an outfit of his own.

"What's next?"she asked when she had found the needed items.

"Well, you'll need to go to the dressing room and put them on."

"Right-e-o! How do I do that?" Steven waited, raising an eyebrow when a punchline didn't come.

"…Oh, you're being serious,"he laughed nervously, "Um, okay, follow me." The two had to work together to find the dressing room at all. When they did, it was little more than a musty closet covered with a shower curtain.

"I can talk you through it from out here,"Steven explained as Spinel stepped inside and started with the pants. From behind the curtain, Steven instructed her to put her foot through the leg holes one at a time. That sounded easy enough, Spinel thought. One foot went in…and then wouldn't come out the other end. Spinel tried angling her foot differently, twisting herself around, but it just wouldn't go through.

"Steven, I'm stuck,"she called out to him.

"You took your shoes off first, right?"

"…Well you didn't tell me that! And what do you mean, take off my shoes? They're part of my form!"

"You're going to have to shapeshift then." The pink gem groaned noisily. She hated shapeshifting if she could help it. It didn't feel natural, and since she rarely needed it, she was admittedly unpracticed. She had only shapeshifted twice since the garden – once to dress up for a theme park with Steven, and the second to land a punchline of a joke.

"Can I give myself cute little toes like yours or is that plagiarism?" She couldn't see Steven's face, but she heard him lightly laugh from behind the curtain. She smiled to herself as she imagined his adorable blushing face.

"I'm a Steven-original, but I'll allow an exception just for you." Spinel concentrated, morphing her feet into the shape that she had memorized by heart, having studied every inch of Steven that she could over the years. While she was already changing, she decided to remove her pink shorts as well, so there were fewer obstacles to getting into the human clothes. When her light faded, her legs were bare, save for her white stockings. She giggled as she wiggled her newly formed toes.

"D'aww, look at my cute wittle feetsies!"she cooed, sticking her leg outside to show off her new foot to Steven. She heard him laugh nervously as he often did.

"They are pretty cute,"he acknowledged. Spinel was grateful for the privacy of the curtain, where she didn't have to put on a face or pretend that his comment didn't actually make her heart want to explode out of itself. She retracted her foot, holding her blushing cheeks as she jumped up and down as quietly as she could. Golly, this boy was going to make her poof with happiness. How could he hurt her so easily with a simple gesture and then make her melt for him in the next instant?

"Okay, round two!"she declared once she had calmed down a little, holding up the jeans at eye level with a challenging gleam in her eye, "You're going down, pants. And by that, I mean you're going on."

One of the legs was already twisted inside out, but that didn't stop Spinel. She got one foot in, then became a little lost when the other leg was turned to the other side. Twisting the pants around the center, she got the leg pointing the right way. And then she was stuck, unable to pull them up any higher when they were wrung through the middle.

"I might need help,"she called out.

"Okay, try backtracking. Remember, the leg holes should be pointing down." Spinel tried to retract her foot, but then the pant leg pulled with her, the other leg now inside out as well. Spinel frowned. Maybe she could stretch herself out of this. At the first try, she knew she had made a grave mistake. Her legs now stretched and twisted in and out of the various pants holes, Spinel genuinely was having trouble moving at all now.

"Steven, I'm stuck. I can't get out."

"Seriously? How did you manage that?"

"Gee, I don't know, just help me!"Spinel snapped in frustration, genuinely distressed now as she pulled at the twisted denim.

"Um, are you…decent?"came the unsure answer. Spinel gave an impatient tug. She was about to lose it.

"Will you quit being weird and get in here? I'm really stuck!" She pulled and tugged while she waited, and then from behind her, the curtain tentatively opened and closed again. The space was limited, and there wasn't a ton of room for two people. Steven appeared to be trying to look anywhere but at her, his eyes fixed on the ceiling as he reached over and took the twisted, inside-out piece of clothing and Spinel's bare foot and tried to guide them out of the mess she had made.

Spinel was unparalleled in her acrobatic talents, but even she was finding it difficult to balance herself in this cramped space. With her legs in every which-way, she tumbled backwards into Steven, her entire weight falling onto him. She could feel him freeze against her, the hand that was supposed to be helping her freezing as well. Seriously? They had hugged each other tighter and closer than this countless of times, and now he was uncomfortable? More than a little frustrated for entirely different reasons now, Spinel braced herself against Steven's front and violently kicked the infernal clothing away from her.

"Get…off!... Steven!?" For some reason, though, Steven wasn't moving. Spinel turned back, but he was just standing there, beet red with his hands planted on the wall and not her. Spinel wanted to scream, or burst into tears, or both. Was he really making a big deal about touching her now of all times? When she wasn't actually trying to flirt and genuinely needed help?

"Steven, are you serious right now?"she asked furiously, gesturing to the pants caught around her ankles, "Please?"Seeming to move at half speed, Steven slowly extended his arm around her and pulled the clothing off her, purposely making a point of not touching any part of her body. Spinel blinked back tears, realizing she couldn't take it anymore. The minute the pants were off her ankles, she gave him a hard shove, furiously pushing him back outside the curtain. Spinel sank to the ground as soon as he was gone, crumbling to her knees.

For a moment, Spinel just sat there, staring at the pants on the floor and feeling tears build hot and fast, spilling over before she could even register they were there. Steven really was acting like touching her was something repulsive. Who was she kidding, hoping that Steven could love her differently than a friend? She was a fool for ever dreaming of kissing or touching him. He couldn't even tolerate being in a confined space with her.

Spinel bit down on her knuckles to keep herself from making an audible sound as tears traced rivers down her cheeks. Suddenly his rejection was real. Suddenly there was no consolation that Steven at least tolerated her. She was going to push him away with all her wanting, and he would hate her for it. Steven was really, truly uncomfortable with her closeness, and there was nothing Spinel could do to change that.

She looked up in the dusty dressing room mirror at herself, the dark circles under her eyes and smaller, yet still pronounced, tear marks only accentuating her sadness. She looked small and meek, she thought as she stared at her reflection. She hated what she saw. She had changed forms twice now, each successive transformation making her only more pathetic. From naive clown, to angry clown, to sad clown – Spinel could change her appearance a million times, but it wouldn't change the fact that she was nothing more than a jester. A companion to make her friends smile, but never one they could truly love with any depth or desire. What was Spinel thinking, hoping for a chance with Steven just because he wasn't coupled with someone else? She felt so stupid.

She didn't know how long she sat there crying, but she hadn't heard from Steven in a while, and she was beginning to worry he had left her. She half-expected it at this point. She wiped her face before calling out to him, making sure there was no trace in her voice that she had been crying.

"Steven?"she called out.

"Yeah?"came his immediate reply, closer than she expected. She wiped her nose.

"…I give up. I don't wanna play dress up anymore."

"Did you get stuck again?" Spinel glared at the discarded clothing, feeling strangely resentful of it.

"No,"she answered, perhaps too harshly.

"Are you okay?"

"Quit asking me that,"she snapped with an annoyed roll of her eyes that he didn't see, "No."

"How about a pick-me-up?"

"I'm kinda past that."

"Not even your best friend dressed up in a ridiculous costume can help?" Okay, that at least piqued Spinel's interest. Her head poked out of the shower curtain a second time. Steven stood wearing a sheepish smile and the strangest garb Spinel could ever imagine. His hair was rainbow colored and at least 10x thicker. He wore an oversized Pierrot suit under a garish pink jacket that was too small for him, and hot pink fuzzy bedtime slippers. Spinel stared.

"It's the best I could find with what they had,"Steven explained, as if that explained anything at all.

"You're, uh…"

"Dressed as you. Kind of,"he laughed, pulling off the rainbow wig, "I might have committed too hard to the clown look once I realized they didn't have a lot of pink in my size." Spinel stared at him, not knowing what to say. Call her a masochist, but Spinel laughed. She couldn't help it. Her heart hurt like a thousand rejuvenators were slicing into her, but she laughed all the same. Dark sense of humor aside - he looked absolutely ridiculous. If one of them was going to be the butt of a cruel joke, she could at least take some comfort in knowing that for this moment, it was Steven and not her who looked the bigger fool. It made her feel better, in a strange way, as if the weight of being the galaxy's most pathetic clown was suddenly eased off her shoulders and shared by someone who looked even more ridiculous than she felt. Steven just smiled naively.

"Fine, give me a sec,"she said between breaths. She ducked her head back behind the curtain, looking at the discarded clothes with newfound resolve. She picked up the shirt first, figuring she could figure that out better since she had seen Steven take off his shirt a few times before to go swimming and somewhat understood what the holes were for. She pulled her head through the middle hole in one try. Invigorated, she returned again to the shorts, fenagling for a moment to untangle her mess. She very carefully stuck one foot in, and seeing it actually go through, more confidently stretched her other foot into the second leg hole. Audibly gasping with excitement, she pulled the cloth over her hips and practically danced out of the dressing room.

"Ta-daaaah!"she sang by way of entrance. Steven looked like he was fighting hard not to laugh at her. "What? I did the clothes thing!"

"You did,"Steven said, laughing behind his hand, "Great first effort! A few notes, though…" He gestured toward a full-length mirror nearby, and immediately Spinel could see the problem. The pants were inside out, the shirt was backwards, and her arms were clearly not where they were supposed to be. With some guidance from Steven, Spinel was eventually able to at least figure out what holes her arms went through.

"There! We're so cuuute,"she breathed, hearts in her eyes. The black oversized shirt hung loosely on her, hugging her shoulder pads and gem awkwardly, but she could shapeshift her shoulders next time. Next to her, Steven was smiling and looking even more ridiculous in his own get up. This felt okay. Her tears dry, Spinel could get used to this game of pretend. Like Spinel could just put on different clothes and look like someone whose heart wasn't breaking.

They had fun taking silly pictures. Steven asked if she really did want to stop. Spinel glanced between her strange reflection and the man she loved. He was so clueless to how much power he had over her. Spinel dearly wished she could tell him – beg him to be more careful with her, tell him how much she hurt, how when he didn't want to touch her, it made Spinel feel so scared and unwanted that she wanted to hide in her gem forever. But Spinel didn't say that. Instead she smiled despite the pain in her heart, figuring if she was going to keep playing this game of pretend, she could at least do it with her friend by her side dressed in silly outfits.

"I think I'm getting the hang of this clothes thing. We can probably try on a few more outfits,"she answered. Steven grinned, and Spinel felt all the light inside her do little acrobatics at the sight. Stars, she loved him more than he would ever know.

Spinel did indeed get the hang of putting on clothes by the end of the afternoon. They tried on countless silly outfits and costumes together, striking ridiculous poses, snapping selfies, and just generally having fun together until the store owner finally found them and kicked them out for making such a mess without paying. They found a bench outside and went through all the pictures they had taken, teasing each other all the while. Today was fun. Today would have been one of Spinel's better days, if it weren't for the dark cloud of anxiety in the back of her mind, reminding Spinel that although Steven was smiling and joking with her now, he hadn't actually willingly touched her all day. Spinel swallowed a lump in her throat as she watched Steven thumb through pictures of their matching cowboy costumes.

She hated that she had to ask. She was so tired of asking. But Spinel didn't want to waste any more time hoping and waiting for something or someone that simply wasn't coming. Her eyes drifted to his arm, staring longingly at it for beat before deciding she wasn't going to wait for people to come to her anymore, no matter how badly she wished they would. She had to ask for what she wanted now.

"Steven?"she interrupted him, her hand hovering over his bicep, "Please?" She couldn't read the brief change in his expression. She held her breath, silently praying for his assurance.

"Sure." And then her arm was wrapped around his. An embarrassingly audible sigh of relief escaped her throat, as if she could finally relax again. She leaned gratefully into him, feeling that she was suddenly able to breathe, to smile again without having to force herself through an exhausting game of make-believe. They spent the rest of the afternoon editing pictures with funny filters. Spinel took what solace she could from his presence and the sound of his laughter, her arm looped securely around his.

For now, this was enough. It had to be.

AN: The thrift shop is based off of a real place somewhat close to where I live. All the statues and weird costumes are a real thing. The only thing I made up was the model of the brain, to give Spinel a chance to land a dumb pun. Do what you will with that information.

This story is originally published on AO3 if you want to read ahead, get access to fanart, and other updates. I had to move there because the lack of reader engagement on this site is collectively a bit appalling...Please support your writers by leaving a comment, or literally ANY form of feedback...it's really not that hard...