I do not own Fairy Tail.
i. Natsu
It starts with some probing, eavesdropping, and confessing.
..
Half a year after Lucy has received a new-comer's award for her first novel, she proudly accepts another recognition. She seems to be a league of her own, in this particular profession, as both her target market and assessors alike are praising her with how realistic yet still wonderfully fantastical her work of art is. Even though he only is able to read a portion of her work, Gray undoubtedly agrees with the applause.
Just like the first time, every member of Fairy Tail, as well as a number of their close friends outside it, are very eager to have a celebration party for her sake. Lucy is happy, of course, and allows the party, but she doesn't want to have a repeat of the last time where second-hand embarrassment has been gnawing on her the whole night because of her unashamed friends, so she has demanded the party be held on a different venue exclusively for them.
As anyone will expect from a Fairy Tail's celebration, it is excessively loud, immoderately rambunctious, and ridiculously cheery. But they don't have all the time in the world, and eventually they need a time out from the uproar and excitement. Even those who are at the center are taking a break to switch to the peacefully quiet and intimate night.
Which leads to where Gray currently is.
The function hall Lucy has rented is a multiple-story building and their area is located at the third floor. Gray has strolled outside the expansive veranda, the view of the outlying street attracting him to take a breath and be appreciative. It is a night where the clouds are littered and only the moonlight shines, beneath is a landscape that doesn't look unusual, yet its normalcy is probably what makes it so soothing.
Beside him stands Erza, and she, too, perhaps sees what Gray sees, for she hasn't spoken a single word since she's joined him. If this is years ago, he will definitely find this awkward, may question her sudden appearance and even try to run away and leave her. But it isn't. So he welcomes her presence without a second thought.
Erza seems to be elated too, Gray notices, as she dons a relaxed expression on her face with a hint of pink dusting her cheeks from what he can only assume is the result of the alcohol. It is a good thing that she decides not to get drunk, for the sake of all of them.
"You look awfully happy, Gray."
Gray hears her speak in a tone not subdued but still considerably soft. He huffs.
"Do I?"
Erza glances his way and prompts him to meet her gaze. When he does, she lifts a delicate brow to inspect him. She smirks playfully after a while. "You finally accepted your fate, huh?"
"Fate?" he repeats, a tiny smile forming on his lips.
"I'm glad that you chose to grant happiness to the deserving person and in return, let yourself be happy." She turns her gaze back in the horizon, props her elbow at the balustrade and cups her chin with a hand, all the while having a faraway look.
Gray remembers the time the two of them have been in a similar situation. It is also with this kind of talk. But back then, she has managed to get out something from her yet he hasn't had the guts to do the same. She has brushed his question so easily then, and Gray simply let it go because of the many things that have occupied his mind. But now, it's different. Now, he will probe.
"What about you?" he asks with no preamble.
She appears to be taken aback. Even in her profile view, Gray is able to see how she blinks her eyes in mild surprise.
"Me?" She looks at him again. "What about me?"
He briefly wonders whether there's still a limit to how much he can inquire of her without crossing the line. Then again, after everything they have been through, with near-death battles, serious arguments and even declarations of their worth to each other, Gray decides that the line is as good as gone. If he's wrong, then Erza can just beat him.
"Your fate with Jellal," he says, his voice unwavering.
To his astonishment, Erza doesn't react in a way that she usually does when she hears that name. She doesn't flinch, she doesn't avert her gaze, she doesn't even have that longing look in her eyes. She's just calm and unaffected. It is all new to Gray, yet he finds immediately that this is way better.
"I gave up," she murmurs after a second. The way she stares at Gray when she speaks tells him that it is final, that it is a decision that has been made after so much deliberation. He feels like she's also trying to convince him to not doubt her, as well as to appease the concern bubbling up in his chest for her.
"Really?" He lets out a surprised laugh. "Why?"
Erza stands straight and lets her gaze wander. "It's been six months since he was pardoned," she says as she flips strands of her hair behind her shoulder, a feminine gesture that she very rarely does thus, resulting for Gray to unconsciously watch her with awe, and sighs. "He is free, nothing is holding him back anymore, I'm even giving him opportunity. But even under these circumstances, he's still so adamant in not crossing paths with me. It's been so long, it's about time I get the message."
Not knowing what to say, Gray only watches her. Even before those circumstances that she has enumerated have surfaced, he is already so wary of them being together. Jellal is, after all, still the man who has hurt Erza in more than one shape. She has gone to a series of painful events only because of one person, so now that Gray hears that she has finally let go of him, speaking as someone who is protective of her, he is more than inclined to accept this closure.
"Besides," Erza speaks again. This time, her tone is lighthearted, all the melancholy from earlier gone without a trace. "Brushing my hair every day gets tiring."
He laughs and she joins, the sound of their laughter so merry it reverberates in the night. He's glad to see her like this. The fact that she has suffered immensely reaching this conclusion is palpable, yet his gratefulness is absolute. She seems to have passed the difficult stage of letting go without too much of a fuss and now, she considers this just a part of her past that she can already laugh off.
On his peripheral, the people inside are still in the middle of drowning in alcohol and feasting in food. He catches a sight of a certain someone over-stuffing his stomach with almost no other thought in his mind. Gray smirks.
An idea comes to him, something that has risen to surface from time to time. But without a chance to present it, he has been forced to smother it again and again.
Now though, perhaps he can finally allow the idea to flourish.
"Hey," he calls to get Erza's attention. "If that's the case, are you willing to entertain the idea of 'someone else'?"
Her expression turns confused but not shut down, a good sign. "What?"
"I'm not saying that you jump to someone else this instant. Just, you know, entertain the idea and be open with the possibilities. You deserve to be happy and be loved, too, by the right person."
Gray takes a glimpse at the happenings inside, sees someone perking up very slightly and focuses his gaze back to Erza to wait for her response. He can't help the grin from emerging from his lips with the thought that he has been listening on their conversation. He's certain of it. With his heightened senses at work, it is probably from the time the words 'I gave up' has come out of Erza's lips.
"Right person, huh?" Erza whispers to herself, then to Gray, she says, "I wonder if there's someone out there willing to put up with me."
He chuckles with this and thinks, 'If only you know how many are and have been in the line'. "Of course there are. Just promise me you'll be open with the possibilities."
Erza doesn't appear to be assuaged by it, but with Gray's display of sincerity, she yields. "Okay. I promise."
Satisfied, Gray nods at her, his smile seemingly still in place, for he receives a suspicious glance from her as if aware that he has plan something behind her back. Just as the supposedly fleeting glance turns to a glare, Lucy grabs the perfect timing to come to his aide.
"Erzaaa, Graaay! What are you two doing there? Come here, let's driiiink!" Lucy yells at them in her evidently drunken state. When they only look at her, she impatiently drags them back inside, urging them to join her.
Erza concedes while Gray is successful in abstaining from it. He walks over to Natsu instead, silently but with a purpose.
He sits on the chair beside him. The table across is crammed with empty plates and used utensils, most of them courtesy of the only person presently capable of swallowing a whole town. Gray doesn't look at him but he can tell that he's got something to say. He waits.
"You," Natsu speaks after devouring everything on his last plate. "What do you think you're doing?"
Just as Gray suspects, this idiot is in bliss. Based from the tone he uses and the way he delivers his words, he is ecstatic. He's probably stifling a smile, too.
"What? I just opened a window of opportunity for someone."
With this, he allows himself to be smug. Eventually, he looks at Natsu just to witness that his eyes are actually sparkling. He's totally fired up, to say the least and Gray's smugness becomes a sense of achievement in all a matter of seconds. There's no more arrogance in himself for what he has accomplished, it has all been replaced by a sincere gratification because of how happy this idiot is.
"I'm gonna beat you up!" Natsu suddenly proclaims, but with a face full of gratitude.
"Not if I beat you first!" Gray shouts in response.
They both smirk at the same time and lunge at each other for a brawl which grounds are hugely contradictory to the ones they always have.
Predictably, Erza is quick to her feet and her fists in ceasing the fight.
The punch hurt like hell, with or without the influence of the alcohol, but Natsu is grinning from ear to ear. Gray finds him foolish but he can't really blame him.
..
Natsu's entrance to the guild is quiet.
No, not quiet, but certainly not attention-seeking. With Happy sleepily perched on his shoulder, he walks without a word along the hall, the many tables, the bar and ultimately at the board. No one notices it, but his steps are so light they're practically springing. He's also oozing with energy, like something inside of him is boiling and just waiting to be let out. But again, no one notices it.
And that's because he's suppressing it.
He shall be heedful with this thing, disregarding how it is reeling away out of his character, and keep it to himself for as long as possible. Even with Happy, he can't be careless in sharing it. The only one who knows is Gray and despite their rocky fellowship, he trusts that with this one, that freak won't betray him.
"Natsuuu," Happy whines on Natsu's ear, his paws on his shirt now the only thing that are keeping him from sliding down. He's got his eyes closed, too, and looking all ready to sleep. "Let's take a break, I'm so tired."
"Geez. Why did you drink so much if you can't take it then?" he berates, and while he's eager to go for a job just to quell a bit of his excitement, he takes pity on his partner and catches him before he falls. He walks on the nearby table, lets Happy lie in there and takes a sit.
"Eeeh. I didn't even drink. It's Charle and Lucy, they made me do all those servant things. I even became a horse," comes a reply which sounds really worn out and drowsy. "Come on, even Lucy is having a day off today, we should, too."
Natsu contemplates on this, but he sees that the guild is currently housing people with a similar state as Happy. 'Was the party really that wild last night?' He also notes the lack of his team mates. Lucy aside, Erza, Gray and Wendy and Charle aren't here yet, Happy is also down. Going on a mission all by himself isn't improbable, but it isn't as fulfilling.
"Okay fine, but only for today!" he tells Happy, and then with an idea, he smiles mischievously. "Let's go to Lucy's, I'm sure her bed will make you feel better!"
Happy brightens up immediately. He's still visibly tired but he manages to answer his usual "Aye sir!"
Just as they're about to exit the guild, Natsu spots Erza who is about to enter. She doesn't look tired at all, which isn't really surprising, and her gaze is as sharp as ever.
"Hey, Erza! Are you going on a job?" he asks cheerfully yet tentatively. His pace slowing for a moment.
"Natsu," she greets. "Probably not, but if there are any... Where are you two going?" She tilts her head to check on Happy by his shoulder and sees him asleep. Natsu pets him instinctively.
"To Lucy's! Happy needs a bed to sleep."
Erza sighs and Natsu senses it is from relief. 'She probably got worried seeing Happy like this.' Then she gives Natsu one of her admonitory gazes.
"Don't be too much of a pain for Lucy. I'm sure she's exhausted from last night, as well."
"Aye sir!" He salutes at her, keeping in mind that he can be a pain for a little bit. After one last look, she resumes entering the guild and leaves him to go on his own merry way.
Seeing Erza brings him back to his previous mulling. He needs a plan. It doesn't have to be extravagant or historic. It doesn't need to be perfect, too. It only has to be within the bounds of his character, possibly memorable, preferably heartfelt, but all in all genuine and real.
He considers seeking help from others, but briskly smashes the thought when he realizes the need to elaborate it for them. He can't rely on Gray, that guy is hopeless, regardless of the fact that he has done building the stage for him. It may be hard to strategize and cook the scheme all by himself, but he needs to do it.
She's finally open and he's finally ready, he can't waste this golden opportunity.
He's going to confess to Erza.
..
One week has passed since that declaration he has so foolishly made. And it is a one week of pure nothingness.
It isn't the decision of confessing that he finds foolish, but the notion of being alone in it. Fact of the matter is that planning all by himself is such a high hurdle that he can't seem to overtake. This is also a battle, something that he is so good at, reckless at most but still good nonetheless. And yet he can't form a plan how to achieve his desired outcome.
If this continues, forget even sounding genuine, he may just blurt it out right here in front of these trashy members of the dark guild they have been asked to obliterate, right now when Erza so majestically reigns over the pile of their beaten body with her menacing yet awe-inspiring aura.
She is fearless and so so magnificent.
..
One week has turned to two and three and four.
And four weeks have turned to one month and one week.
And now, it has been one month and two weeks and three days since then.
Natsu still hasn't confessed.
Gray has been giving him glares here and there. Naturally, he sends him a glare of his own that leads them to another fight which will end just like the usual.
He knows why Gray is getting impatient, he's probably thinking Natsu have chosen to throw away the opportunity, but he just can't possibly admit that he's still in the process of creating the perfect-in-his-own-way plan.
The only good thing that he sees in this is may be the fact that no one has caught on. Happy, Lucy, and the rest of his guild mates are still unaware. Even Erza doesn't seem to have a single clue. Which is good because Natsu hasn't had to spend half of his lifetime keeping his feelings a secret just to get carelessly discovered before he can even professed them.
Having an element of surprise is an excellent recipe, but more than that, he wants Erza to not doubt him or his words. He can't let her think, even for a second, that his feelings for her are only a product of a joke or prank.
"What the hell are you doing?!" Gray, all of a sudden, slams his fist on the table and challenges Natsu.
Out of reflex, Natsu headbutts him. "What are you talking about, ice freak?!"
Gray hisses. "What are you waiting for, you idiot?!" His remark has turned into an angry whisper, and that is when Natsu realizes what he is talking about.
They both are grasping each other's collar while their banters are becoming more of a whisper. The rest in the guild are just watching them, all confused and intrigued as to what they are murmuring at each other.
"Do I have to do it for you, too?!" Gray hisses again.
"Damn you! I'm going to do it!" Natsu barks.
"Then do it now!"
"I really will!"
"Do it!"
"I will!"
"Now!"
"Now!"
"ERZA!" Gray and Natsu yell at the same time, shocking everyone inside, including Natsu, himself.
Gray, on the other, seems satisfied, if not a bit more smug. Natsu belatedly realizes that this is a trap set by him and he has fallen on it so gloriously yet so stupidly.
He's seriously irritated that he gets caught in the trap, but what exasperates him even more is the fact that Gray has given him another opportunity. And this time, there is no moment to dawdle, there is no procrastinating, and definitely there is no turning back.
Because Erza is looking at them, her expression isn't really all too pleased, but she's obviously expecting something from them and if it isn't anything worthwhile for her, not only will Natsu and Gray infuriate her, she may not listen to Natsu when he needs her to.
This is the time to do it. Never mind that there is no plan, never mind that all those weeks are for naught and admittedly just a waste of time, and never mind that apart from her, every single one in the guild is waiting. He will do it.
Before Gray can even lose all his patience for him and give him the third 'push', Natsu saunters over to where Erza is.
He hears people gulping, some of them watching with widened eyes. Happy and Lucy are calling out to him in anxious whispers. Everyone's pulse is beating rapidly in anticipation.
Natsu walks straight to her, holds her wrist with a hand and gently tugs her. "Come with me for a bit."
..
Natsu and Erza leaving causes the guild to become eerily quiet for a whole minute, like a bomb that is momentarily deafening to the ears. But after that, once they all have recovered, it has turned into an instant uproar.
Most of them are shouting, asking if this is finally the time to settle the score between those two. They scream of bets and cheers and mentions of not wanting to miss it. Lucy is torn on what to focus on.
Until Gray demands them to listen.
He says to let them settle it on their own, says that it is their matter, no one should interfere, no one should intrude, says that they have their own businesses to attend to.
They are unsurprisingly hesitant giving in to Gray, stating that this is going to be an epic fight, but he doesn't falter. He pleads for them to listen, just this one time, and says that they all need to show some respect.
They go quiet, give up and stay at the guild.
Lucy gives up, too, even though all her senses are screaming her to go. She's worried, extremely so.
Natsu has defeated so many note-worthy foes in the past, some of them, only he is capable of battling with. But Lucy knows that behind that power, a strong will has urged him to fight, a will to not die and to save his comrades.
If it is a battle of life and death, Natsu won't lose.
But if it is only a battle of who is who, Lucy doubts Erza will lose to Natsu.
Incredible strength and magical power aside, Erza is always able to find the weakness of her opponent. She's clever and she knows how to use her intelligence in a fight, so imagining her losing is just impossible.
Lucy understands that she can't do anything even if she goes in there to watch. Besides, Gray is right. They need to respect them.
She just hopes that good things will come out of this.
..
"Natsu."
Natsu hears Erza call his name. She doesn't sound angry with him but there's a hint of impatience lacing her tone. He stops walking and lets go of her wrist.
He doesn't know exactly where they are now, he has just strolled blindly in an attempt to get away from everyone. In here, he doesn't sense anyone nearby, he also doesn't smell any scent from his guild, which means they are far enough to truly be left alone.
Natsu doesn't feel nervous. Even when he's face to face with Erza, and so close with her like this, he isn't nervous. Even when he is about to confess, he isn't nervous. Even if there's a possibility that this will end with a broken heart, he isn't nervous.
"Fight me," he says.
But him being not nervous apparently doesn't mean he knows what to say.
"What?" Erza asks, shock and confusion apparent on her face, luckily, without anger or even irritation.
"Ah, no! That's not it!" He laughs.
"Natsu, are you wasting my time?" she questions calmly, but with a dangerous glint in her tone that causes Natsu to panic.
"No, no! Listen, please." He tries to appease her and make her listen at the same time, but his lack of words are only fueling the manifesting irritation that she obviously feels.
'What is the right thing to say? What are the right words to tell her? Oh Igneel, help me!'
Erza is mostly always reasonable. Given the proper setting and a right amount of sincerity, she will listen to anyone. Realizing this, Natsu only needs to show his resolve and how genuine his feelings are, he needs to convey and show her how serious he is with this.
"Erza..." 'Okay, I'll go for it!'
Before he can even proceed though, Erza's fist are twisting his collar and she is pouncing on him. 'Eh?'
"Naatsuuu..." Erza speaks, the corner of her eyes now glimmering with a promise of punishment. Natsu can only blink in confusion. He's already lying on his back, the soft grass cushioning his fall, and Erza is sitting on his stomach, her fingers still clutching his clothes. "You dragged me here and now you're going to waste my time? How about I just use it for your punishment?!"
The glare she sends him is scary, truthfully and horribly scary. Yet fear isn't the reason why he absolutely doesn't want to drive her mad, especially not at this moment.
"Wait! Wait! I'll say it, I'll say it. Please," he begs.
It is probably the tone of his voice, or perhaps the expression on his face, or maybe it is only the strong gust of wind that is suddenly blowing in their direction, Erza stops and actually listens.
Staring at her from where he lies, he can't help but admire how outrageously beautiful she is right now and realize how utterly in love he is with her.
Out of the blue, it comes to him. It is time.
With a serious gaze, Natsu looks directly at her eyes. With a genuine intention, he brings his hand to lightly caress her cheek. With his real and true feelings, he gives her a gentle smile. Erza is looking down at him, her eyes are filled with wonder and her lips are closed, waiting in anticipation. From the way she's sporting a very faint blush, Natsu is sure that she has read the mood by now.
He lays down all his feelings and bares ll his emotions to her. In the most tender tone he can muster, he speaks to her in all honesty.
"I love you, Erza. I truthfully do."
..
-krizza-