Honourable Stupid
Familiar of Zero/SI
Chapter 1
Authors Note
Warning, Spoilers for Familia of Zero ahead.
So, after reading a particularly good take on Familiar of Zero on the spacebattles forum, I had a sudden burst of inspiration and decided to return to this fandom and have a proper go at a good FOZ fic. My first SI (Self Insert) Fanfiction on QQ did rather well, but it's lacking the approval of my muse right now, so I'll get practise and fulfilment out of this while I can.
May Noboru Yamaguchi rest in peace.
/-v-\
\-v-/
The young man briskly walked down the road. He had given up on the bus after it ignored his stop for the third time and decided to simply walk to his office instead. He had no intention of being late for his new job a second time, and forty minutes made for a pretty short trip even for a recluse like him.
Seconds later he felt a drop of water land on his head and looked up and smiled as it started to rain. Despite his satisfaction at a good rainstorm, he quickly realised that his laptop might get wet, and started to run with his bag in an awkward position.
Thunder struck in the distance, but despite his love for such wonders of nature, the man was no longer smiling.
The rain grew heavier and heavier, until it was beating upon the introverts very bones.
He had moved his rucksack to his front to help protect his laptop from the water.
Yet the rain did not stop. There was no end to this storm.
The streets began to flood, it wasn't far now. The man thought to himself 'Just a bit further'.
However, mere minutes from his destination, he heard something.
It was a voice. Not just any voice though...
"My servant that existed somewhere in this vast universe,"
He knew this voice.
Years ago, when he had newly discovered the world of anime while trying to find a place he could watch all the Pokémon episodes he had missed, he had found a certain anime.
It had been his introduction to the world of anime, to harem protagonists and overpowered MCs. From there to manga and lightnovels, webnovels and fanfiction, a rabbit hole he never wanted to escape.
So why was he hearing this now? In the midst of a thunderstorm, heavy torrential downpour, and he suddenly noticed, rapidly picking up wind. He thanked his weird fashion sense for motivating him to wear sunglasses underneath grey skies.
"My divine, beautiful, wise, powerful servant,"
He quickened his thoughts as his adrenaline started to clear his mind, and his blood pumped. He was certain he could hear it. He had never experienced auditory hallucinations, 'hearing things' as it were, though he had experienced minor hallucinations of the visual and tactile nature, he had never quite convinced himself that he hadn't just imagined it in a sleep deprived stupor.
This though, this was clear words echoing in the air.
Suddenly, an old man walked past him.
"Heed my call,"
The geek stared, curious as the man didn't appear to have heard a thing. Yet the loud, forceful, desperate voice echoed in his ears despite the rain.
He realised then, that just maybe, just maybe, something like what happened to Saito would instead affect him, change his life. He nearly kicked himself for this foolish thought, but then realised, that such a thing, despite its insanity, wouldn't necessarily be good for him.
Afterall, his career had only started, he didn't want to be unemployed again. He still had anime to watch, webnovels, lightnovels, manga, fanfiction and books to read. He was starting to get his life in order, and was finally, by the grace of God, succeeding. Perhaps this was a trial, he thought as he considered the Prayer book in his bag. He wasn't a good Christian, not by any measure, but he did value what faith had done for him at his worst moments.
So he decided, despite the immense scientific value of this event, despite the possibilities he might find on the other side, and the many ways he could exploit them either to achieve his goals or gain wealth he had once dreamed of...
He would do whatever it took to stay on Earth.
/-v-\
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"I wish from very bottom of my heart and add to my guidance and appear!"
The portal appeared, almost as if in response to his challenge.
A green elliptical portal, almost instinctively he drew his phone, and tried not to swear at the Honor 9 Lite's ageing processors as they slowly loaded the camera app. Finally, he took several pictures from different angles, making certain he didn't close a safety distance of 10 feet. Surprisingly enough, his camera caught the portal.
His suspicions were confirmed when a young lady passed him by, paying both him and the portal no mind at all.
So what now?
He had no intention of going inside. Yet he needed to collect data, this was phenomenal. It was amazing.
He had proof of what could only be called magic, but as he huddled his bag to his arm and held his phone in the rain, he decided to be a bit more, 'proactive' about this.
"This is Yared Scott, and today I'm going to show you something, truly bizarre. Something, out of this world."
The camera shifts from a tanned unshaved man in sunglasses to a illustrious green wonder shimmering in mid-air.
"This here is an unknown aerial phenomenon of about 2 metres in height that appeared roughly 1 minute ago, and uh, ahem. There was unknown voices from this location beforehand, implying a correlation with this phenomena, and potentially an intelligent mind rather than the cold uncaring hands of mother nature."
The portal shimmered in the rain, and thunder cracked.
"So lets trying throwing things at it, shall we?"
In one hand the man held a smooth rock, in front of the camera he swung and threw it at the portal, immediately afterwards there was a scream as the portal drew closer, no the portal hadn't drawn closer to the camera, the camera had drawn closer.
Suddenly everything went black. There was only dark space all around and the sounds of deep breaths as the man held onto his phone and bag with wet and white knuckles.
"Ah, you probably can't see this, but I can see stars, my word, is this, is this outer space? Of course! The portal to Earth! Shaitans Gate! This must be it! Ah, my bad, so viewers I'm going to end this here, lets cross our fingers and hope this footage survives the crash shall we?"
The video abruptly cuts.
/-v-\
\-v-/
Yared breathed in deeply, as he exhaled, he imagined wind passing through his back and tingling his spine. He felt a little better so he continued. His wet bag was back on his back, and his phone had been roughly shoved inside, little heed paid to getting water on his precious laptop.
He could dry wet electronics in Halkeginia (assuming he was about to reach Halkeginia), but he certainly couldn't fix them...
He had seconds left. He thumbed the cross beneath his shirt and prayed he survived this, he may be an amateur when it came to science, but if this really was another world, he would be the best on the entire planet for as long as it took him to introduce Colbert to the Scientific Method. Second best was more his thing anyway.
Suddenly, he saw it.
Light.
/-v-\
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He was falling.
His once long forgotten fear of heights returned with a fervour matched only by his bewilderment.
He struggled with all his willpower to stay perfectly still, preparing for the landing and subsequent explosion.
He very nearly failed as the grass rushed to meet him. He clenched his teeth in preparation, and squinted, hoping to not hurt his eyes.
His vision went black, and for a few seconds his hearing was gone. He didn't notice he had already hit the ground as he coughed in the black smoke.
He wiped his face with a handkerchief, and re-adjusted his sunglasses as he got on his knees.
Before him the veil of smoke hid the truth. Would this really be it. Or would he turn out to have been wrong? His hands felt clammy as he began to feel nervous, would he be able to do this? Would he mess up somehow?
The dam was broken as a wave of turmoil swept him. Would he understand their voices? He could understand Louise's voice, or so he thought at least, but would he need a translation spell now he had arrived? What if the translation spell was butterflied away, and he had to learn a new language? Did they really speak French? What about the branding of the runes? Would that hurt? It made Saito pass out, was that intended, or did the sheer pain knock the sturdy youth unconscious.
He realised belatedly that the smoke had been flown away while he was lost in thought, and looked up. From the motions of the man carrying a staff, he smiled as he realised he had been right.
Yared saw a head of pink hair in front of him, and his grin widened. He thought to get up, but then decided to simply raise one knee, and place one fist on the ground, the other laid on his thigh.
"Who are you?"
The girls voice was firm, confident but not haughty, soft but not weak. It was a beautiful voice, and he took pleasure in knowing he would likely hear more of it. Her face, reddish brown eyes, pale white skin was framed by strawberry blonde hair so bright it looked as if it was a vibrant pink. She was pretty, in a youthful way, if very much so.
Yet a kindle of doubt remained. Was this all fake? A dream as his body slumbered in a coma? Or perhaps the trick of aliens, or demons? He shook his head of such thoughts knowing he had to act fast to control this conversation.
"Hello there."
The girl glared at him in what looked like suspicion. He sighed, and took off his shades.
"My name is Yared, I am a stranger from far away. I don't suppose you could tell me where I am Miss...?"
He trailed off, attempting to keep a polite, but firm demeanour, as he slowly raised himself up. Careful not to make any rapid movements, yet not dallying either.
"Yaah-red? You have a rather strange name commoner?"
The girl scoffed as if in disapproval, but looking at his clothes, his oddly coloured eye glasses, and bags, she could tell he wasn't just some normal peasant.
Yared noticed in the corner of his eye that the middle aged gent with glasses, presumably Colbert was adjusting his glasses and looking at his green camouflage bag and glasses in curiosity, he hoped at least. The flame snake was not one to kill anymore, but if he posed a sudden threat... His nervousness spiked once more, but he put a lid on it and breathed deeply. But he was too late by a hairs breadth.
Whispers among the gathered student body rose in volume.
"The Zero summoned a strange commoner of all things, how hilarious is that?"
Suddenly, the man holding a staff straightened up and cleared his throat.
"Students, this is a most sacred ritual, quiet down and do not interrupt." He sternly reprimanded them.
"Yes Professor Colbert." The students replied in unison, though I could see a few continuing to whisper and giggle, if much more quietly.
Interesting, of course the Flame Snake would be a strict teacher, after all he once dealt with much more rowdy fellows, as a soldier that is. It makes perfect sense, but if things are changing, then how much of my knowledge is accurate?
But, Louise it appears wasn't happy to continue with the ritual.
"Professor, please let me try again, this is clearly a failure." She speaks forlornly as if tired, but holds a dangerous air to her. Her back straight and clothes unruffled.
"Nonsense. Louise, you have summoned this 'exotic' commoner, it is tradition that no matter what is summoned you must accept it as your familiar. Now please continue and form the contract, the Springtime Familiar Summoning is as I said, a most sacred ritual."
Yared decided enough was enough, and cleared his throat.
As the Professor and Louise both turned to look at him, he stood straight and unflinching as he spoke.
"I apologise for interrupting, but where I come from, it is rather rude to ignore a guest. Would you deign to answer my question, little miss Louise was it?" He spoke with as much dignity and volume as he could, making sure to look the girl right in the eyes, unblinking.
"Commoner, you will speak when spoken too and..."
"Nonsense, my family may have not be as great as it once was, but I am no peasant. Now, please do answer my question young lady." He interrupted, as he continued staring her in the eye, she blinked first.
"Humph, my name is Louise Francoise Le Blanc de La Valliere, you are within the grounds of Tristain's Academy of Magic, and I am your summoner. Do you understand?" She glared at him, but on such a pretty young girls face, it was hardly intimidating. As he looked down at her, Yared realised that despite it's propensity for catching his head on door frames, his height was a blessing.
"Of course Miss Valliere. My name is Yared Scott, and I am the eldest son of the Scott family, citizen of Great Britain, and Professional Graphic Designer. Your summoning as you call it has interfered with my day of work, and will cause grievance to my family and country for many months to come. I ask that you send me back now if you can." Yared felt he at least had to ask, though he was certain it wouldn't work nevertheless.
The girl looked surprised at his response, eloquently matched to her own words. Yet she possessed the discipline not to let her jaw drop.
"Such a thing is impossible young man, unfortunately, never before has a human been summoned, so we never had need of such a thing." Colbert informed him, though not unkindly.
"I see, if that is the case, then I will be in need of a place to stay. Though not intentionally, it is nevertheless the result of your actions that such circumstances have been placed upon me. I would ask of your aid in securing lodgings, Miss Valliere." Yared felt tired all of a sudden, as if subconsciously, he now understand that this was no dream, it was all real.
"I would be willing to do so, under the condition that you become my familiar. Do not mistake this as charity however, I am merely upholding my duty as a noblewoman." She spoke briskly, and averted her eyes for the first time since the conversation began.
"A familiar? I can say I am familiar with such a thing, and yet I can't either, how quaint. Very well Miss Valliere, this Yared Scott consents to becoming your familiar."
"Come closer."
"What for, do you need blood for this contract?"
"Of course not, just come here."
"Fine, fine." Inwardly he sighed, wondering if his feigned ignorance was the right path to take.
"Now kneel down." She blushed slightly, and he wondered why she wasn't making a bigger fuss, but decided not to look a gift horse in the face.
So he got on his knees, and made sure to once more stare straight into her eyes.
She took her wand and spoke.
On the outside, Yared was the picture of solemnity. Yet inside, his thoughts were those of a shivering wreck as his inner turmoil wrecked havoc on his willpower. When Saito had been branded, the pain had been so extreme, he had fallen unconscious. This was not to say of how Saito had been a healthy youth with a strong willpower, whereas he was someone who had spent most of the previous two years in his room. This would not be pleasant. He had been injured before, but never had pain driven him to unconsciousness.
He again breathed, imagining wind passing through his back as he exhaled. He whispered a short prayer just as it began...
"My name is Louise Françoise Le Blanc de La Vallière. Pentagon of the five elemental powers; bless this humble being, and make him my familiar." She chanted over, and over, three times, then tapped his forehead with her wand, and finally, leaned in for the kiss.
Louise was petite and rather pretty. She was a little too petite for his tastes, but she was beautiful nonetheless. As a first kiss, it was rather pleasant, if chaste and brief. A consolation for the agony he was dreading afterwards.
"Mmm..."
Louise removed her lips. Her face was flushed red, yet he looked her in the eye all the same, with a little bit of respect. She had done something rather embarrassing from her point of view afterall.
Yared looked at his left hand, slowly lights appeared. The runes. However, the pain was not there?
Had he been mistaken?
"Well done Miss Valliere, you have failed Summon Servant no less than three times, but you have succeeded your first attempt at Contract Servant. Congratulations." Colbert praised his student with a surprised smile, as if he really didn't expect her success.
Yared felt a bit curious, he didn't remember her having previous tries in the anime. He had read the light novel and manga, but his memory of those was spotty.
"It's because he's simply a commoner." A young man with green hair scoffed.
The Professors eye twitched.
"She would have failed had she summoned a magical beast." A fat boy with blonde hair remarked.
The Professors eye twitched once more.
Louise's faced morphed into a scowl in response.
"Of course I succeeded, unlike you fools, I pay attention in class."
His eye twitched again.
"Hah, I bet you just paid him to dress up weird and pretend to be your familiar, he's way too cocky to be some normal commoner."
At this, Yareds eye twitched as well, and he dropped his bag and opened it.
"Silence, both of you will see me in detention tomorrow, and Louise, I expect better." He barely noticed as Colbert bellowed in rage, and condemned the youths to an hour of lecturing.
He fished out his 'equipment' and walked up to the fat blonde.
"Your name." Yared demanded beneath a glare, as he looked down at the mage.
"Oh, the commoner wishes to know? It is Malicorne de Grandpré, runic name, The Gale." He smiled tauntingly, as if convinced in his own superiority.
"That so, then since you see fit to insult my honour and accuse me of deception, perhaps you can help record my findings." Yared smiled at the youth with teeth.
He held his phone up, unlocked it and turned on the camera in a fluid movement. It loaded faster than it had in months, as if eager for this very moment.
He turned around, activated the back camera and held the screen up in front of his face as it recorded him and Malicorne.
"Hello there, Yared Scott here, and today we are documenting our first day in Halkeginia. This video is being recorded the 18th of November 2021, and will hopefully be safely transferred back to the UK as soon as possible. Malicorne here has helpfully volunteered to tell us about his home. Over to you Malicorne, please, spare no detail." Yared passed the device as if without a care in the world, yet, his muscles were tensed and coiled to retrieve the device if necessary.
Around him, the other students stared in bewilderment as they watched. Professor Colbert had calmed down. A teal haired waif looked up from her book next to a tanned redhead. Unknown to Yared, his runes were slowly growing brighter.
"Um. What is this? Yared, what is this thing?" Malicorne was at a loss. He scrunched his eyebrows in confusion.
"Tut tut, Sir Malicorne did I not already explain, it's a camera, you speak at it and the microphone records what you say while the camera records your visage. This way, in case I find a way home but can't return, I have evidence of what happened and information of Halkeginia. Now hurry up, the battery is limited." Yared wagged his finger at the boy, smirking at him.
"Eh, ehh. It records my visage? Ahem, you wish to know my knowledge of Halkeginia?" Malicorne suddenly calmed a bit.
"Of course Sir Malicorne, while I am but an amateur Geographer and Astronomer, I am trained in such things. The largest countries, number of stars in the sky, knowledge of nearest planets, the continents, all these and more will be fascinating to both Earth Scientists and science enthusiasts across my home country England and abroad." Yared explained, improvising a little bit. Suddenly, the glare from his runes brightened enough that he noticed, he winced but Malicorne responded.
"Ahem, there are 5 great countries across Halkeginia. Our own home, known for it's great number of mages, Tristain. Our once close ally, currently embroiled in nasty civil war, Albion. The most populous country, boasting a population of 15 million people, Gallia. The home of those who follow the Founder and the Pope, Romalia, and of course the warmongering Empire of Germania, known for being the largest country in terms of size, but having rather barbaric people." Malicorne continued with pride, not noticing Yareds stiffening face, or white knuckled grip on his wrist.
"As for astronomy, I've heard from my Professor Theodore that while we can't count every star in sky, by using estimates with special equipment, they calculate that at least 20,000 stars are visible with the naked eye. However, when using wind magic Far Sight, or a telescope, they can see thousands of times that many with ease. Uh, Commoner? I mean Yared, are you okay?" Malicorne turned the phone without thinking as the runes brightened, shining on Yared's sweating face.
"I...need...water, someone...fetch...my...bag." Yared could take the pain, but unfortunately his body couldn't.
It had happened once before. When he struck the shower door with his elbow attempting to practise his form one morning, he found his vision going black and his body feeling faint as if his body would harm itself just to dull the pain. The pain was dulled yes, but he would rather experience more of that agony, than this terrible weakness. He breathed deeply. Once more, he imagined wind passing through his body.
Louise approached him with his camo bag, a look of not quite concern in her eyes.
"Thank...you..." He rasped as his trembling hands grasped his metal flask and shakily attempted to pry it open.
His trembling hands dropped the lid and he proceeded to guzzle the water inside before taking deep breaths.
He started to feel better. Only to see his phone held out in front of his face.
"Here you go Yared. Perhaps we should record Halkeginia's knowledge another time." Malicorne smiled awkwardly.
"Ah yes. You, didn't pause." Yared breathed out.
"Pause?" Malicorne tilted his head, eyebrows raised in consternation.
Yared didn't answer, and pressed the big red square on the screen. The timer stopped counting, and reset. Malicorne made a face of understanding.
"Oh, interesting, so it doesn't record all the time." Professor Colbert responded from the side, his eyes on a piece of paper he had sketched the runes onto. His hand held not a pencil, but a stick of charcoal. Surprisingly, it had a very fine shape, as if machine carved. Perhaps it was made using magic or specialised tools.
"No. Limited, battery. Limited, data, storage. Camera, small, not easy, to repair."
"I see, fascinating. That said, Malicorne and Louise, both escort this young man to the infirmary. I've never seen such a strong reaction to the Familiar Runes, and certainly not one delayed to such an extent. Yared, I will pop in when you are in better health, I find myself intrigued by this Great Britain you spoke of. To create something like this they must have both skilled craftsmen and ingenious mages." Colbert spoke with passion in his tone, though his eyes did show concern. While he had only known Yared for minutes, he still cared for the young man as he did any other student.
As he was levitated towards the Academy building, a castle like structure that reminded him of museum visits as a child, he watched the other students fly back to their doors. Colbert had mentioned something about spending time with familiar that reminded him of the anime, but his mind was barely functioning right.
He looked to his left at Louise, who despite her pride was carrying his bag on one shoulder. He smiled, and decided then and there that maybe this all worth it in the end. After all, he had his wits, his body, and a beautiful companion. Now he just needed to make a plan.
Unknowingly, he started to doze off as he relaxed. So he would never hear what the healer at the infirmary had discovered...
/-v-\
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