It was a fine day when Marie's ashes were blown free in the wind, three days later.
The funeral was short but meaningful.
Nadia was crying but not loudly. There were the majority of Grisha, all of them there, to commemorate the death of Marie 'the heroine who gave her life for the sun summoner'.
The Apparat was holding the funeral and, for Alina, it didn't go unnoticed some glances between him and the Darkling.
The Apparat was probably the person that scared Alina the most in Little Palace. He was always roaming about and lurking.
It was also strange that someone was always there to 'save' her when he found his way to her.
It was as if she was followed. And it was likely to be so.
Aleksander at that moment was in control of every aspect of her life and, thought it was a little frustrating, for the time being, it was fine with Alina. He didn't mean to harm her.
If anything...
Baghra was not present at the funeral and it was all frustration in Aleksander's mind.
Frustration and concern. She had started to think that there was a connection between the two of them. She probably had taught him how to control his power as well. Maybe she was something of a maternal figure...
Lately, Alina was finding the strangest emotions in the Darkling's mind.
He seemed so unfazed by everything but his mind was clearly full of emotions that he let go unnoticed by everyone else. She didn't know if she felt happy that he had so many emotions that made him human or to feel awe because he could have those emotions and not show them.
Another sob, a louder one, distracted her from her thoughts and she looked at her friend.
She tried to think of anything else, anything, but her guilt got the better of her.
She knew that it was her fault and she needed to accept it and go on. But she couldn't.
Every time she looked at someone it was like saw their thought about her, about her uselessness.
Marie had given her life... what for? A useless girl that could not destroy the fold.
It's not true, and you know that.
Alexander's voice was speaking words that were all blurred in her head.
It's not your fault.
You're not useless.
You don't know what the others are thinking, don't imagine it.
Don't think that everyone is against you.
Alina.
You are a blessing.
Alina.
Every word he said was metabolised and it all went out in the form of a tear. A single tear dropped from her right cheek and second after second she felt better, like a burden had been lifted from her stomach, something that was going to make her vomit and make her cry.
Because a moment earlier she was not strong and she was just a burden for everyone around the bonfire, and then his voice and his warmth came to her and she was born anew.
Free from guilt and with lighter shoulders because someone was sharing this burden with her, because someone wanted to share her faults and make her feel safe.
She lifted her head and looked at him with glistening eyes and they didn't break the contact till the end of the funeral.
"Miss Starkov, I'd like to talk to you about something important," he went to her after the funeral.
"Of course."
They went to the lake for a walk. The weather was nice.
He didn't speak about what had occurred before and got straight to his point.
"You already know what an Amplifier is, am I correct?"
"Yes."
"I thought about it, and I think you should get one. Though your progress with summoning light are quite impressive now, your power is only starting to show and you are still too weak to bring the fold down. It takes long to master one's power and the king is impatient." He wasn't looking at her while saying it.
She knew it was the truth, she couldn't do such prowess with her power at that moment, but she felt a little embarrassed to admit it.
"Of course, I know."
"I was thinking about Morozova's Stag," he announced and then waited for her to react.
"I-Is it real?! I thought it was a myth, a fairy tale!" She had looked at the lake the whole duration of their stroll but then she completely turned to him, stopping her pace.
"I'm sure it's real. I sent trackers to find it and one swore to have located it."
After a long pause, Alina turned away from him "I actually dreamed of it since I was a child... I didn't know it was something special when I was younger, but when I came here there was the perfect representation of it in one of the library's books..." Alina felt her heartbeat speed, she didn't know why. It felt like everything was going into place.
What was he thinking of her dreams? Was that a normal thing?
Unexpectedly she felt guilt coming from him.
"But... you already knew that, didn't you?" She finally turned to him.
"About that," his expression was unsure, "Genya told me she saw a drawing of it in your bedroom, she knew I have been looking for it for a long time and brought me the drawing." He wasn't lying to her, Genya did find the drowning and brought it to him, but only after she wrote about it in her letters to the tracker.
He found that telling half-truths didn't expose his full thoughts.
"The fact that you dreamed of it is proof that it exists and that you are destined to have it, Alina."
"It's a powerful Amplifier...The most powerful I've ever heard of..." she started to say and then suddenly frowned.
"What's in your mind?" He asked searching her eyes.
"Amplifiers can't be combined." She started "You are an amplifier... that means that when I'll have mine, you will not be able to amplify me" her sentence had the sound of a question.
"It's more complicated than that..." he answered.
This was not a common question. It was not the right time yet to tell her. He looked away from her.
She sensed his uneasiness.
"Well, maybe it's a story for another time... I promised Genya I would have spent some time with her after the funeral."
After a short pause and a sigh he turned to her "Go then, I'm not holding you here, I'm going that way" he pointed behind her.
Alina nodded, her lips forming a little smile but she took a deep breath when he drew closer to her and took her hand, brought it to his lips and kissed it.
Alina's heart skipped a beat, they looked into each other's eyes for a moment and then he let it go moving past her.
He left her without another word and with her voice in his mind: thanks for before.
He went back to the gardens in front of Little Palace and distanced himself from everyone who could approach him.
His mind was not only his own lately whether he wanted it or not.
Alina was becoming a part of him more quickly than he had planned but it wasn't a problem.
She was perfect. Her mind still young, quick, influenceable just enough. She was greedy of knowledge, maybe of power.
And he would make it grow into something bigger. He would give her everything so she would really start to want more.
Note:
I AM SO SORRY FOR MAKING YOU WAIT SO MUCH!
For those who ask, I don't have the results of my exams yet (that's one of the reasons I haven't posted earlier).
I will post another chapter this week so stay tuned and I hope you enjoyed this chapter, but I believe you will enjoy mostly the next one...😏
-Flora