Alina was in her room that night, the Darkling had to do some important things before their departure for the stag so, luckily, she didn't have to sleep with him, because she would have revealed everything she had come to know.
He was the Black Heretic.
He was centuries old.
He had no mercy for otkazat'sya. And neither for Grisha if it was for his advantage.
Genya...
She was one of his most loyal Grisha, he had thought, but she was only a pawn in his hands.
He was going to kill the king and reign.
This wasn't something that shocked Alina, but it was easier said than done.
She knew from the very beginning that she couldn't trust him completely, but she couldn't have predicted this!
And what of her?
He had thought of her as 'his Alina'.
'His' in what way? His Grisha? His sun summoner? His pawn? His lover?
What really was she in the head of a centenary strategist? What could she be in his heart?
Just a pitiful child.
And his mother?
It had to be Baghra!
She was her mother! How could she had not seen it? That 'old hag'?
Alina buried her face in the pillow.
If he was that old, how old would she be?
Alina's mind outside the Darkling's room had been bombed with his memories but now she couldn't recall any of it specifically.
She had to be in his presence to do so.
Alina huffed turning on her back in the large bed.
Her eyes were still red with tears which she had tried to cover going to her room.
He really was the best actor she had ever seen.
She had started to fall for him, and what she thought was him, was all a lie.
Would he really have been so caring and attentive with her if she had known he was the black heretic?
Was that kindness towards her all made up?
She had to navigate his mind again and to feel what he really felt to decide if she would stay or run away from Little Palace and form him.
Alina buried her cries in the soft pillow that had accommodated him the night before.
The day after his talk with Genya, Aleksander was on his way to the King's quarters, but he couldn't stop thinking of Alina, his mind was full of her, her sight, her sounds, her smell, her taste... and that night he didn't concentrate well on his work because he had her in his mind. The thought that he couldn't go to her and hold her during the night because he had to read the report about the Fjerdan border infuriated him.
He hadn't given pleasure to someone in a long time, only taking from people who just offered themselves to him, to gain power or favours.
He never granted those from the beginning, people still offered.
With Alina, he knew he had to give something.
He knew that giving was said to be the basis of a relationship and he had always despised the thought, but with Alina...
He wanted to give her anything, he took pleasure in giving her what she wanted.
Naturally, every action he did had a double purpose, but he wasn't enjoying it for the one he had planned.
He had obviously thought that he would have enjoyed being with her, but enjoying something had never given him restless nights of thinking, quite the contrary.
He had even started to make jokes at some point.
Let me worship you? Has my prayer been received?
Saints, he seemed a cheap lady's man. Luckily she had thought of making him shut his mouth.
In a really interesting way...
He just couldn't believe himself.
He was losing it for a girl, barely a woman, who knew nothing of the world, naive and too young.
Of course, it was something in their tether, he was connected to her in ways he would be with no one else.
He had to remind himself of his plan, his purpose: his kingdom needed him in his right mind, he needed to be in his right mind to manipulate her a bit more, to finally make her understand the uselessness of the royal family, and the use they could make from the fold.
She would understand, she was his counterpart, his equal, she would see it the way he saw it.
He was in the King's quarter to explain the trip to the forest in the north for the stag. Being in the King's presence was incredibly irritating but talk to him had always made him want to punch someone.
Hopefully, their conversation was almost over.
"But you're not sure it's there..." said the king.
"Not completely, there's certainly a massive stag there, off the charts, but we're not sure if it's the amplifier."
The king was comfortably crashed out on a tacky couch. He was clearly displaying his haughtiness, thinking it would have made him more intimidating.
How wrong he was. He just seemed a fat pig ready for butchery.
"You better find this stag or you will personally go search it yourself in every forest of Ravka."
Aleksander closed his eyes slowly, made a deep breath and then opened his eyes again.
"Yes, moi Tsar."
He was so mad when he exited from those rooms. He didn't even know where he was going he only knew his feet were leading him.
He went into the gardens, and he didn't slow down until he saw her.
She was passing through a high corridor of hedges while pushing her hair on one side of her neck.
When she saw him she stopped frozen on the spot.
He went to her, actually quite fast walking, grabbed her hand and leading her to a spot hidden in the hedgerow.
Her eyes were wide open and almost terrified when he pulled her with her back to the hedge and grabbed her face.
"Aleksander what-?" She was stopped by his lips clashing on hers.
He wanted to cool off, he wanted to kill the king with his bare hands, he wanted to just relax and have no worries instead of the weight of an entire nation on his shoulders.
His arms went around her sides and firmely held her.
He had been waiting a long time for her and now he would hold her every time he wanted. She was his.
Alina after a moment of surprise could do nothing but kiss him back and going slack in his arms.
He didn't want to think about enemies, people to kill, people to command, new riots and whatnot, he just wanted to kiss her and feel himself through her. Feel complete through their tether.
She couldn't believe in herself: after finding out his constant manipulation, it only took a kiss to be all trembly for him.
Well, that was a very passionate kiss, a rough raging kiss that she could only be overwhelmed by and barely respond to.
His thoughts were all in her head, the king, his view of her, the tension he had to let go of.
She felt like she had to reassure him, so while she was kissed so roughly, her hands were soft on his face, on his beard, his hair, his neck.
She was bound to respond to his kisses.
Slowly his passion softened and his fingers traced lightly her neck and features.
Her soft skin below his hands, her strong and smooth hair between his fingers, her lips and tongue playing with his, this pull in his chest towards her. He could go on for centuries with just those sensations.
She felt like she hadn't breathed since the first kiss, and it felt like hours from the first kiss.
When he parted from her lips, he kept their forehead attached.
Alina's eyes were closed.
"I apologise," he took a deep breath, "for my roughness," another breath.
"It's ok, you got me by surprise..." she said back, breathing heavily too.
When he opened his eyes he saw that his Alina was a bit dishevelled, her cheeks were all red as were her lips and her hair was full of knots.
He pulled back a little to better look at her and smooth out her hair with his fingers.
He stayed silent for almost a minute.
"The Tsar always gets on my bad side..." he caressed her cheek.
Why was he caressing her cheek? Doing it for her was one thing, to console her or while he was kissing her, but he was doing it for himself. Why was her cheek so nice to caress?
He swallowed nervously.
"You seem to have this calming power over me," he admitted almost forcibly while caressing her cheek.
Alina was so confused, his thoughts were so messy.
Did he even know what he wanted?
She, in turn, swallowed but then leaned into his warm touch.
"What did you two discuss?"
"The stag's expedition, he threatened to send me to search the stag by myself in every forest of Ravka if this expedition is not successful."
"He said what?!" She distanced herself from him but still tightly holding his kefta.
"Don't worry, milaya, he cannot force me into doing something I don't want to do," he lightly chuckled and then glanced around, "we should go somewhere... more private."
She froze for a moment because of the pet named he had used but then looked around too and realized they were still in the gardens.
"Yeah," she just answered.
She had to stay near him if she wanted to really understand him.
"War room? In ten minutes?" He whispered.
"I-I have to go somewhere before..." Alina seemed nervous.
"Is there something wrong?" He asked.
"No, no... just give me five more minutes."
"Of course."
He, then, parted from her, his hand no longer caressing her cheek, and walked away.
Alina closed her eyes and felt his uneasiness, but it was all her fault. She didn't know what to do.
He felt she was tense.
What was troubling her? Had he done something? Was it the passion he kissed her with?
Obviously she 'heard' everything. It had become natural to just open her mind and listen.
Maybe she should have told him something about what she had found out.
"Alina," she opened her eyes and found him before her, "I just want to spend some time with you. You do know that, don't you?"
Alina's lips curved and her eyes felt a little wet, she went near him and, standing on her tiptoes, she stole a kiss from his lips.
How easy it could have been if she hadn't known... either the fact that he was the Black Heretic or the fact that he was a man that genuinely cared for her and wanted to spend time with her.
He should have been just one or the other, he couldn't be both, or could he?
"I know, and I want to spend sometime with you too."
Notes:
Here we are with another chapter!
How was it? What do you think will happen in the next chapter? Am I the only one who always melts when, in a fic, the Darkling calls Alina 'milaya'?😍❤️
And why do I always forget how to write 'otkazat'sya'?
Hopefully, the answers will be found in the next chapter ️ ️
-Flora