Returning home after the vacation was a breath of fresh air for everyone, it had been a fantastic escape from the real world for most of them and had prepared them for what was to come. Kasumi and Tofu's wedding would only be days away at this point, just a little over a week.
Akane, in her restlessness decided it best to focus on the wedding and training and moving, especially the moving. Slowly she began assembling boxes, plastic and cardboard to pack up her things. She was leaving in only a short bit of time, not long after the wedding took place and it felt surreal. Her apartment was going to be about 20 minutes via train or nearly an hour walking and while for most of the summer she had been excited, now she felt the roots of hesitation taking grip on her.
But like any stubborn weeds, they would be pulled out.
Her father and Saotomes never brought it up and she knew it wasn't right but she hadn't said anything about the move to Ranma. She thought after the events of the beach trip, she should say something. Especially after he had acted.
As well as her own actions.
But unwilling to see the obvious of what was growing again between them, she decided that was a fluke and was all due to the heat, the sun, the presence of an attractive man in her life. She was a virile young woman and he was a handsome man, things happen.
A lot of things like that seemed to happen between them.
But it didn't matter, she reminded herself. She'd be out soon.
So, she continued to train with him, joke with him, be the friendly pal she was meant to be.
And no, his grins weren't getting to her, pulling at her heart strings.
Not his handsome face making her laugh, his boisterous laugh joining hers making her warm all over.
Not his severe looks as he worked her through sets making her stomach do flips, cool ice running through her nerves like his eyes.
None of it was getting to her.
xXXXxXxxxxXXXxxxXxXxx
Leaving her room, boxes left out semi packed, she didn't notice him in the hallway. He greeted her and she jumped visibly.
"Gah, Ranma. You scared me to death!" She quicky shut her door, but not before catching him peeking into her room.
"You...?" He wanted to ask her out right, she could see the cogs in his head going.
"Oh, the boxes? I'm getting rid of somethings and storing some, moving them into Nabiki's room." She felt a little guilty being able to come up with a lie to him that quickly. Especially as she hid particularly important information.
But how important was it really?
He seemed to buy it, nodding and smiling.
"Well, if you need any help with anything, I'm uh right down the hall." He hooked a thumb to the room. She grinned; he'd been pretty kind to her over the last week since getting back. Less arrogant, more helpful. The weight of her guilt about not telling him about her plans was right on her neck and she was carrying it like a punishment.
I should tell him the truth.
"Ranma, actually listen I -"
She was caught off by a voice she hadn't heard from in months.
"Hello Tendous, Saotomes!"
Both Ranma and Akane's heads snapped at the sound, a rich baritone greeting bounced through the house. Akane's lips pulled into a high smile meeting her eyes. She made her way downstairs as Ranma watched and took a moment to collect his thoughts. It had been so long. He made his way to the top of the stairs to watch as the voice's owner settled his bag down and fully embraced Akane as she opened her arms to him. He smiled wide and the color changed in his tanned face. Ranma clenched his fist tightly, the taste in his mouth souring. He shook his head, no reason to get like this. But old habits and feelings die hard.
Dark oak eyes peered up from her hug, beneath impossibly thick bangs and went wide in shock, his body going completely still.
"Ra-Ranma?!" It was like remembering a word whose definition you had long since forgotten.
"Ryoga." He gave him a neutral greeting. Akane pulled herself away to see as Ranma raced downstairs and fully embraced the other man. She laughed as Ryoga immediately tried to pull himself away.
"Aw c'mon bacon breath you can't give yer old buddy a proper greetin'?" Ryoga continued to pull away, struggling to do so.
"I don't recall us ever being buddies, Ranma. Would you get off of me!" Finally, he let him go and the fanged tooth martial artist stood in disbelief. "I can't believe it's you, I can't believe you're back."
"I meant to call you and Akari but with everything going on this summer I've been so busy and flaked. I'm sorry." Akane offered up.
"Oh no worry Akane-san, I know how busy you've been. I'm looking forward to celebrating with all of you this weekend. I just...I didn't expect for Ranma to be back."
"Celebrate?" Ranma questioned.
"Yes of course, it's Kasumi and Tofu's wedding is it not?"
"Ah..." Akane rubbed her head. "You're about a week early Ryoga. Could that be why Akari isn't with you?"
"Oh uh...I just thought she'd beat me here." He scratched his head.
"I'll go give her a ring and let her know that you're here so she can come pick you up and you both can join next week." Akane turned around and headed to a phone to call his house so as not to keep Akari too worried.
The two former rivals stood in the hall together, unsure of where to go or say.
"So, Ryo-"
"Where the hell have you been Ranma?" Ryoga continued to look at him as though he couldn't believe the person in front of him was indeed in his presence.
"Come on man, I'll give you the short version. We got some catching up to do."
xxxXXXxXxXXxXxxXxxxxx
Nodoka had managed to put together a nice dinner for the surprise arrival of Ryoga and to celebrate the reunion of one of her son's oldest "friends". She knew that when they were younger neither of them would have considered the other a close friend but the truth was, she saw similarities between them the same as she saw in her husband and Soun. Deeply competitive but willing to help the other whenever needed.
Except when it had come to romantic endeavors of course, in that space they were a little less like elder martial artists of the house.
But during dinner, the two men had continued to speak to one another like old pals, Ryoga catching everyone up to speed about life, his accidental travels, how he hoped he and Akari could begin planning their wedding soon. Ranma caught him up on his time away, the places he'd seen, how he had lost his curse finally. Ryoga proceeded to test this by throwing a cold glass of water at him and simply soaking the man. This caused a deep and throaty laugh to emerge from Ryoga.
After eating they insisted on using the dojo for a few matches, excited to test the strength of the other. The families watched as they went hit for hit, trying to outdo the other as the night progressed on. Ranma had certainly improved over time but Ryoga who's strength even years ago was immeasurable seemed to have grown over the time away from one another.
After a few rounds, the two men settled on a draw over the insistence of the families since they'd be up fighting for most of the night if they let them. Returning to the house they hung to the back and kept talking about their fights, teasing and getting annoyed at the other along the way. Ahead of them Akane stopped and turned around.
"It's a good night to have a drink outside. Why don't you two use the bath and come back and join us."
"Akane-san you're too kind." Ryoga smiled.
"And you're still a kiss ass." Ranma snorted. Akane glared at him.
"Maybe Ryoga can teach you a thing about manners." She shoved towels into his chest and huffed off joining the rest of the household. Ryoga watched from his side eye how Ranma watched her leave, nodded to himself and began to move to the bathroom.
The two men entered and quickly undressed and splashed themselves with cool water to wash up, Ranma remaining a man as Ryoga shrunk and changed form. He rubbed his small frame around the soap on the ground, cleaning himself and cooling off before he trotted his way over to the hot bath and hopped in re-emerging as his normal self. Ranma walked over and joined as the two men sat in pleasant silence.
"Akane-san certainly has done an excellent job of taking over a lot from Kasumi since she left."
"Mm, I guess."
They stayed silent a while longer, the humidity thickening around them.
"So, what made you decide to come back to Nerima, Ranma?" Ryoga raised his eyebrow at him.
"I just missed home." Ranma looked straight ahead. Ryoga nodded and hm'd in response.
xxxXXXxxxXxXXXXxxxx
The two men returned from their baths and saw that drinks had already been poured and shared between everyone else. They took seats on the porch overlooking the koi pond along with Akane as the Saotomes and Soun sat out at the table. They shared more stories and conversations, the room filled with warmth and laughter, sweet memories that no longer hurt to share or talk about. Ryoga openly joking about his curse, Akane's boy and kidnapping problems which more times than not went hand in hand together, Ranma's use of his curse to get what he wanted. These instances that years ago would never be mentioned, be hidden or beaten down, now out in the air to mock and joke and feel safe talking about.
Maybe this was what it meant to grow up together.
As the night dragged on, the parents bid the three a goodnight. Akane got up to grab them each a new drink. As she did so, both men took a moment to look at her leave, a momentary lapse to their younger selves. Ranma caught him first.
"Ain't you 'sposed to be plannin' a wedding here? Should keep them eyes to yerself, Ryoga." Ranma jokingly hissed. Ryoga blushed but brushed it away.
"Your lingering stare is not lost on me either Saotome, you should be one to talk." He retorted, Ranma coughed and looked away.
Akane returned and sat out with them a bit more, talking about more moments from their time together, the summers they shared, the adventures and schemes they found themselves in, a dynamic she realized she had been missing for some time. She quietly watched on as they argued for a few minutes, leaning forward on her knees as they pressed against her chin, her drink hanging by its neck from her fingers. She smiled as she watched them tease and taunt one another, remembering when they had eaten that mushroom that shrunk them to children. She laughed into her legs as they continued on. What a strange life they had all led together.
She finished her drink and stood up which caused them to stop temporarily.
"I'm heading to sleep boys, by all means stay up for as long as you want." She smiled warmly at them and they both looked up at her. Her eyes seemed to want to say more. "Tonight was a lot of fun, I'm looking forward to Kasumi's wedding and celebrating more." She ruffled the top of Ryoga's fluffy, now dried hair and gave him a chaste kiss at the top of his skull.
"Goodnight Ryoga, Akari will be here tomorrow morning to get you. There's a bed made up in Nabiki's room if you'd like." He blushed and nodded.
"Goodnight Akane-san. Thank you." She nodded and turned to Ranma, he gulped deeply. She followed her pattern, whether out of nostalgia for when she cared for them both in cursed forms as small boys or inebriation and the fact that she felt so happy and comfortable, she proceeded to run her fingers through his thick hair, smile, lean down and kissed the top of his head.
Feelings and nerves be damned, sometimes you needed to show your loved ones you care.
He sat unmoving, tense as she wished him a goodnight. He returned it and she made her way up to her room, yawning along the way.
Ryoga watched in real time the color return to Ranma's face.
"She's a very caring girl." Ranma nodded and took another drink. Ryoga sighed and went to his bag, grabbing a bottle.
"I got this in Hiroshima, I was planning on giving it to your father and Tendou-san but I think I've found better use for it." He held it up between them. "How about we go talk in the dojo away from everyone, hm?" He stood up not waiting on a reply, but shortly he heard footsteps following him.
Before arriving to the dojo, Ranma turned and saw the light to Akane's bedroom on from the outside and he continued to look until the two men sat down against the backwall of the dojo as Ryoga opened the bottle, took a drink and passed it to him. They sat again in silence, the crickets from the outside chirping, the wind blowing softly through the wood chimes.
"You missed her, didn't you? That's why you came back." Ranma remained quiet. Not this again. Ryoga sighed lightly and rubbed his head. "I mean, I understand. If anyone does, I do. I had nothing in Nerima but I always wanted to come back because I missed her." He stretched his legs out and took another drink. "She was the only person I thought cared about me for a long time, wanted to make me feel good, make me feel happy. I always came back for her." Ranma's eyes stared ahead, clenching his jaw. Ryoga took another drink and stared into the same blank spot Ranma's eyes seemed to bore into. "I never thought you were good enough for her back then. That you didn't deserve the right to be her fiancée."
Ranma's face twisted to see his and he saw the self-satisfied smile on the others face, a fang poking under his lip. He wanted to slap the smug look off his face.
"Not like you could seal the deal while I was away. Guess you weren't good enough either huh P-chan?" He snatched the bottle away and with it Ryoga laughed and nodded.
"Ah...yeah I guess you're right. I didn't have a chance with Akane-san, not after I met Akari or when you went away." Ranma's rage dropped a little, interested in learning more. "You know why I loved her so much? Why I loved Akane?" Ranma noted the drop of his honorific term and nodded, more curious than mad. "I loved her because she was the first person to show me love unabashedly, even though I was cursed, I was a pig. But she embraced me and showed me attention and more affection that I'd never known. And even after our first encounter, when my weapon cost her her hair, when she knew of our rivalry, she still accepted me as a man, welcomed me into her home. I had not known a person like that in my life and I was smitten with her. Part of me will always love her."
Ranma watched as his long-time rival's eyes watered slightly, whether from drinks or deep emotions or both, he watched as Ryoga thought up his words and smiled.
"I adore Akari and I would've never found her if not because I was trying to find Nerima and instead, I found someone who loves me completely as I am, affectionate and sweet. I would never give her up. I look forward to marrying her more than anything. But a small part of me will always love Akane." He took the bottle back from a serious and silent Ranma, chuckling he took another drink. "I'll always have a part of me that loves Akane because she's the fight I'll never win. The obstacle I could never overcome." One more small drink. "All thanks to you." He stared into the eyes of the other man next to him.
"Wha-"
"Just be honest Ranma. You came back because you missed her." Ryoga smiled. "You've loved her for as long as I have, maybe longer." He waited for a reaction as Ranma cringed and took another drink himself. Ryoga groaned and pulled at his bangs. "It's Akane, be honest and show her some god damn respect, I know how you feel." He slapped Ranma's leg to get his attention. "You look at her the way I looked at her for years, I'm directionless but not blind, idiot." Ranma's eyes met his and he breathed slowly. He hadn't actually said it out loud, maybe ever. Every person he had spoken to had pieced it together but here, now, he hadn't actually said it, only acknowledged.
"Saotome." Ranma looked up. Ryoga's eyes bore into his, severe, undeterred. So stern they looked onyx in the dark. "Say it."
Ranma's dry mouth tried to find his voice, small but sure. Barely above a whisper.
"I love her."
Ryoga nodded and took another drink.
"So why did you leave?"
Ranma ran through the conversation again, like Tofu, like Nabiki, like Akane and Ukyou. His hesitation, his wanting more for himself and for her, that leaving would make things easier for everyone because of a lack of distractions he would bring upon them. Ryoga listened as he poured over these reasons, the things he was grateful for, the things he regretted, he let it out. And Ryoga remained silent until he ran out of words.
In the dark of the dojo, they sat until Ryoga broke the silence.
"That's not all the real reasons. You're hiding something." Ranma stared at him, angry, hadn't he just told this stupid idiot all the reasons why? "You ran away because that's what your father did and dragged you along. You learned from that. You ran because you were scared Ranma. You wanted freedom from your fear, isn't that it?"
"No! I...I..." He scrambled for words but couldn't find them. Ryoga looked on sternly, he was always taught to study his enemy in the arts and while over time Ranma had become less a true rival for him and more of an ally, he studied him and knew him. Knew his strengths and his weaknesses. And of all his weaknesses, there was fear.
Ranma turned and looked into the hole between his crossed legs as he sat, like the answers could be pulled from there. And he slowly put himself back into his 18-year-old self, back into those months after Mt. Phoenix and Jusenkyo.
Ryoga was right, he'd been terrified.
He was terrified starting with his decision on a wife. This wasn't like picking a university or place to live, this was choosing one woman of three who in each of their own ways were entitled to his hand in marriage, whether out of tradition, to deals having been made, to the continuance of the art and the school of his father. But he didn't want to hurt anyone and he knew that he would be hurting people he cared for, people he respected.
And worse, he knew who he wanted and yet he was so severely fearful of her rejection that he'd rather spend his entire life not knowing than asking and finding out she didn't love him. Yes, it meant he'd suffer not knowing her feelings but you suffer for the art, suffer to better yourself, would this not make him a better, stronger man? She could see that, admit first and then problem solved.
But then she was kidnapped and brought to his hell on earth and there she had died. Or nearly died. And the fear and agony that had gripped him when he thought she was dead, his hands solidified from the threads, unable to comprehend the reality of his life now without her. How in the dark of the first night he'd considered in the darkest pits of his heart and soul joining her, unwilling to believe he could go on, she'd be waiting for him. Just like in school, waiting on him to follow close behind. And when he held her naked after she had woken up and still had thought he'd lost her again. How cruel the world could be to him. And he covered her, showing modesty for a corpse and he held her, refusing anyone to her, resisting the comfort of anyone to him, it was then that he lost his fear and finally let it out, confirmed his love for her. Undying, unrelenting.
But she wasn't dead, and he was going to do all he could to protect her, bring her back completely, save her. Even if he couldn't tell her out loud to her face how he felt, even if she never said it back to him, it would be him. Him the pinnacle of every man she'd ever know, he the example that each potential romantic interest would have to stand up to, he'd go into the very pits of hell to get her even if all he got was a slap in the face for it.
Because like Ryoga, she'd shown him real affection in the face of his curse, in the way she didn't reject him outright, how overtime she wanted to befriend him. She didn't want the engagement sure, neither did he at times but she never iced him out, never ignored his presence in her life. And god if there weren't times that he just knew, could feel it, taste it, that she felt how he felt and she felt the same. But it was always fear.
Fear was the emotion that led to his first strong technique, Nekoken.
Fear told her he didn't love her on their wedding day.
Fear stopped him from begging her the day of graduation to run away with him, if only for a little bit.
Fear told him to run, because then she'd never be in danger again because of him, she'd never be able to reject him, never resent him for a marriage and life she didn't want. It all boiled down to his fear of unknown.
And without realizing it, he had become like his father all those years ago, running away due to fear of commitment to his mother and his promises.
He thought back to the fight they'd had when Shingo had broken up with her and her rage. Shoving him without being able to move him, how she had said he was just like his father, to leave when things got hard.
Things hadn't been hard at all when he left; in fact, it was the easiest time he'd ever had with her. All he had to do was ask if she wanted him to stay.
But it was fear, that's what drove Genma away from his wife and it was the same thing that had driven his son from the love of his life.
And when she'd said she should've thought of his mother and how she'd been left to wait, the comparison had cut deep. The girl he loved who recognized the plight of his mother and didn't admire it like a benevolent sacrifice as the other girls had.
Akane was scared of so many stupid things, like toy snakes and spiders, like fake ghosts and haunted caves. But she never gave into fear, at Ryugenzawa as she ripped off her top revealing her binding to the woman eating Orochi, when she nearly gave up her life in Jusenkyo, when she defended her dojo and sisters and family, she was never fearful.
He adored her for that, had fallen in love with her for that. Was still in love with her for that.
He rubbed a palm over his cheek, unwilling to cry.
Ryoga offered him the bottle, knowing he'd hit the nerve right on the head. Ranma drank again and sighed, leaning into the wall of the dojo, he looked around to take it in. If he hadn't fucked this up, this would be his dojo, his home. He could go stumbling drunk into bed upstairs, quietly crawling in next to his wife as he pulled her to him, needing her warmth. Even as she laughed and pushed him away for having too much fun, being too rowdy. But he'd kiss her and she'd kiss him and everything would be right. Ranma's knuckles were white against the floor in thought, his whole-body tense.
"I was terrified of what was going to happen to us." He whispered into the dojo. Ryoga watched as he battled with his words, admitting his largest weakness to the person he only ever saw as his equal as a man. He turned to look at his first real rival, not only for fighting but for the heart of the same woman. "I was terrified she'd hate me for having to marry me. That my love for her would never be enough to make her love me back, no matter what I did. I was terrified the other girls would hurt her, that they'd come for her like they had at the wedding and I wouldn't be able to save her. That I wasn't good enough for her." He choked back and felt warmth behind his eyes build. "I was never good enough for her, I didn't deserve her, I treated her badly. It's no fucking wonder things turned out like this." He ran his hand through his bangs, pulling at the scalp. "Why couldn't I just tell her I loved her? Because I couldn't show my feelings? Because I had to treat her like shit so I didn't give anything away and look weak, but I couldn't let her go either. It was so confusing. I'd never met someone so frustrating but someone I wanted to be with so much." He smirked and raised his eyes to Ryoga's, on the verge of letting his tears fall. It wasn't a friendly gesture. "God, I hated when you would show up." He chuckled heartlessly. "All I saw was the guy that was going to try take her from me. You would treat her like she deserved, you were nice and thoughtful around 'er and you would give her all these little fucking gifts and she would keep and take care of all of 'em. And I'd be so pissed off, she was my fiancée, she wasn't yours to take."
"You didn't act like you wanted her. For a time, you acted like she was just an annoyance. An unwanted gift. Throughout most of your time here in fact, you seemed to almost hate h-." Ranma gripped his shirt, eyes wild feeling his anger grow as Ryoga remained completely calm and collected.
"But she was MINE, Ryoga." He shook the calmer man by his shirt. "She was MY fiancée; she was the only thing on this whole fuckin' planet that was actually mine. I didn't have a home, I barely had a family and she was the one thing that was actually mine and that I wanted. Why couldn't you respect that?"
"Because you didn't act like it Ranma. You had other fiancées, other suitors and it didn't seem like you cared for her as I did." He remained stoic and quiet as the other man clutched his shirt tighter. "I did not think of her as something to possess like you did, like she was an object to collect along with your other fiancées. I didn't respect your engagement because I didn't see you respect it or her." Ranma's eyes squinted in anger as he grew closer to his companion in the dark.
"Yeah, you really respected her when you crawled into her bed at night, when she held you against her chest thinkin' you were just some pet pig. When you watched her undress-."
"I never watched her undress." Ryoga interrupted, getting angry.
"Like hell you didn't, I bet you seen her naked more times than I have." Ryoga breathed deeply and focused, this was a long time coming.
"I never purposefully watched her undress."
"There it is, I knew it. That was my wife you were looking at!"
"She was never your wife Ranma, she was barely your fiancée."
"But I loved her first, I loved her more. I would've died for her, I'd have given up anything for her, because the worst day with her was better than the best day with anyone else. She was mine; she was my fiancée, she was going to be my wife." Ranma grit out between his teeth as his eyes traveled over Ryoga's face, ready to pull his hand back and punch him harder than he'd ever had. Ryoga calmed himself down, seeing the amount of pain in the face of Ranma, even as his hands continued to clutch his shirt, threatening to tear it.
"So why is she not, Ranma?" He bristled and his eyes softened, the bluest of blue as he listened.
"Fuck you, Ryoga I-"
"Why isn't Akane your wife now? It's not because of me or Shingo or anyone else. Why?" Ranma slowly released his hold, his hands falling back into place as his demeaner changed, his body physically dropping along with his emotions.
"Because I couldn't admit it. Because I couldn't show it. Because of my fucking pride and my fucking fear."
"Do you still feel that way?"
"Feel what way?"
"Do you still want to be with her, idiot."
"Of course, I do, why do you think I came back." Ryoga sighed.
"I can't believe I'm going to say this." He took an aggravated breath. "Ranma, you don't have much time. These stupid games only worked when we were teenagers, we're adults now and you need to show your feelings. All of them." Ranma remained quiet, taking in the words. "You need to show her you're good enough, you need to show her your love, you need to tell her. You have no other chances, once you leave again or if she leaves, it's over. You have to put everything out there because if you lose her again, you are never getting back in." He took a drink again, solemn. "I know Akane cares for you and I believe at one time loved you." Ranma's eyes grew large to comprehend the words. "I thought I could be the one to show her real love, complete her life with a man who adored her more than anything. But deep down," he drank one last time. "Deep down I knew that man was you."
He gave the bottle to a speechless Ranma.
"I knew no matter what I did or could show her, it was you that held her heart. You were always the victor. My greatest opponent, my fiercest rival."
"Ryoga-"
"Please." He held a hand up. "She deserves to be with the man she wants to be with. In my heart and soul, I believe it's you. Which is why for her sake and for the love I will always carry for her, you need to make this right. You need to bring her this happiness. She deserves it."
"But what if she doesn't love me anymore Ryoga? What am I supposed to do?"
"I don't know. But wouldn't you rather have that answer than whatever this is now?"
He nodded, sleepy, drunk and exhausted from the conversation. The pressure of the unknown on his back, it felt overwhelming but at the same time exciting. What if after all this, they could be together?
"It's time Ranma."