Author's Notes: So I may add to this later but for right now I think I am going to keep it a one-shot. It takes place when Luka and Marinette are talking under the bridge in the new season 4 episode Truth. Spoilers alert, you have been warned. Let me know what you guys think.Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Miraculous Ladybug series, only my own imagination.
"You know I never knew my father and my mother could never bring herself to tell me. When I just couldn't deal with it all I would just take refuge here and the melody of the water would console me." Luka said melting Marinette's heart for being so vulnerable her.
Luka then smiled looking up at Marinette. "What about you Marinette? Where do you go when you disappear?" He asked casually.
That simple question sent cold fear down Marinette's spine. Noticing the panicked look on her face Luka went on to try and reassure her.
"If you tell me I will accept it. If you're still in love with Adrian, I will understand. I won't be jealous you know?" Luka said placing his hands on her shoulders.
Marinette looked up meeting Luka's gaze. "Thats not it. Not at all." She said and Luka could see the sincerity in her eyes just as much as he could hear it in her song. It wasn't Adrian occupying her mind and time.
"Whatever it is, I just want it to be the honest truth." Luka prompted hoping with all his heart that Marinette would be open and honest with him.
"The truth Luka..." Marinette began closing her eyes. "...Is the only thing I can't tell you." She said remorsefully her eyes opening to reveal hidden pain swimming around in her deep blue eyes.
Luka gasped taking a step back from her as Marinette's song hit him full force with a deep tune of sincere melancholy. Which was then followed by his own music going from steady to piercing as the meaning of her words sunk in.
She honestly and truly believe that he could not know the truth. But why? Why did she believe he couldn't know? Does she not trust him? Or is there more to it than that?
The guilty look on her face as she looked down in shame suggested that maybe keeping her secret is not something she WANTS to do. But why then would she still remain silent?
Before Luka to process anything his hurt and confusion suddenly multiplied ten fold morphing it inot an aggressive need to interrogate, fueled a sharp anger that was not his alone.
A blue butterfly mask appeared on Luka's face and a familiar voice spoke inside his head. "Truth, I am Shadowmoth. I'm giving you the power to force people to tell you their most sacred secrets." Shadowmoth said.
Luka felt the pull of temptation like a strong water current. However Luka instantly tried to ground himself as the idea of forcing others secrets out of them was appalled him.
"Truth needs to be shared, not taken by force Shadowmoth!" Luka hissed grabbing his head to try and push out the intrusive voice and emotions.
Marinette's head snapped up. "Shadowmoth!? No! Luka please resist! I am so sorry!" She cried running up to Luka who had subconsciously backed away.
Luka heard Marinette pleading with him but before he could focus on her voice Shadowmoth spoke again. "Why should you resist when she doesn't trust you?!" He demanded.
Luka felt his mental feet slip a bit in the emotional current. But quickly replanted them. "Marinette does trust me!" He yelled back.
"I do! Of course I do!" Marinette said frantically fear and panic gripping at her heart. She didn't want to fight Luka again, especially not when she was the cause. The young bluenett began searching for where the akuma and amok may have landed, kicking herself for not seeing it happen right in front of her.
Luka tried to focus on Marinette's words and ground himself but Shadowmoth was quick to counter. "If she trusted you she would tell you the truth!" He howled in Luka's head.
Luka wanted to believe that there was another reason for her not telling the truth, but couldn't think of anything to counter it with. Luka felt his bering slipping, is conscious mind on the edge of being washed away.
Marinette watched in horror has Luka dropped to his knees. She knew he was losing this fight. In pure desperation she made a guess. Praying to her Ladybug luck that she was right, she reached out and grabbed the guitar pick she gave him.
Yanking it off of him she threw it on the ground and stomped on it as hard as she could.
Luka gasped and fell backwards, his hands instinctively going behind him to catch his fall as he sat back on his feet.
The akuma and amok flew out of the now broken guitar pick and floated up between Luka and Marinette.
Marinette's eyes flashed between Luka and purple assailants unsure what to do. She did not just want to leave Luka there so she could transform and cleanse them. However she was unsure what would happen if she left them alone for the moment.
Marinette had never released an akuma/amok before a full transformation could take place before.
She was unsure if they would fly into another object on Luka, go find a new host, or start multiplying to create an army of whatever akuma Luka would have turned into. Not that any of those options were good ones. She needed to...
Marinette let out a huge sigh of relief as the akuma and amok drained of their purple magic. A white butterfly flew away while the white feather fluttered off in the wind.
Shaking Marinette snapped her full attention back to Luka. Her eyes glossy from un-shed tears. She crouched down in front of Luka who was rubbing his head.
The whole thing had given him a minor headache, but he was grateful for the clear mind and the return of his own emotional control.
"Luka!?" Marinette asked her voice cracking a bit. The boy in question looked up meeting her gaze. "Are you okay?" She asked clenching her fist to try and control the shaking.
Luka gave her a reassuring smile. "I'm fine, thanks to you." He said slightly amazed at her actions.
But his words did not reassure her. Instead the tears bursted out of her as she lept forward tackling him into a hug.
The force nearly sent both of them all the way to the ground. Luckily Luka was able catch himself again as the now sobbing girl curled up is his lap as she clung to him.
Luka picked Marinette up a bit so he could pull his legs out in front of him and cross them giving himself better balance. (And take the weight off his feet before they become numb.) Once both his feet were in front of him and crossed he set Marinette back down on them.
"I'm sorry! I am so so sorry!" Marinette cried burying her head in Luka's shoulder as he wrapped his arms around her. He was surprised at just how much she was actually shaking and immediately felt guilty for worrying her like that.
"Shh, its ok, its ok. I'm ok." Luka muttered softly before humming her song and rocking from side to side a bit. Luka hoped Shadowmoth wouldn't send out anymore akumas or amoks and kept an eye out while he waited for Marinette to calm down.
The whole thing kinda reminded Luka of a few weeks back when he found Marinette upset at the park. Her words rang clear in his mind.
"I'm so tired Luka, of all these responsibilities! To put up a front all the time! Of never being able to be who I truly am!" Marinette had said right before she broke down.
Luka frowned looking down at the girl in his lap. He never fully understood what she had ment by that. He knew she took on alot of responsibility with her designs, and being class president, as well as always just helping and being there for others.
However he didn't understand why any of those would force her to put up a front and hide her true emotions. He could understand her maybe getting overwhelmed and not wanting other to know about it, but somehow that just didn't feel right. Or at the very least was not the extent of it.
What responsibility does she have that would force her to constantly disappear, lie, and hide the pressure of it all?
Luka shook his head slightly rubbing his hand in circles on her back while continuing to hum and rock from side to side, the music from the water echoing around them.
He shouldn't have pushed. He promised her she didn't have to say anything if she did not want to. He just wanted her to be upfront with him.
Marinette finally managed to calm herself down. Taking a few shuttering breaths she pulled back and looked up at Luka. She knew she had no right being the one upset at the moment.
After all she had been the one disappearing during their time together, had been the one to refuse Luka the truth, and had been the one to nearly get HIM akumtized. She should be trying to consolidate him.
But she couldn't help it, it hurt her to lie just as much if not more than it hurt Luka. She felt so alone in all her responsibilities but unable share it with anyone and the worst part was she didn't know what else she could do! It was dangerous to tell him about her being Ladybug and the new Guardian. And that left her feeling helpless.
Then when she realized she may have to fight Luka because of something only she should have to bear the burdens of, something inside her just snapped. Though she could not quite explain why.
"Feeling better?" Luka asked patiently meeting her gaze.
Marinette sniffled and nodded scooting herself off of Luka's lap (much to his dismay) and sat next to him.
"Sorry." She mumbled meekly dropping her eyes to her lap.
Luka reached out rubbing her shoulder in a gesture comfort. "You don't have anything to be sorry for." He said kindly.
"No! No I do! I hurt you enough for you to attract Shadowmoth's attention. You have been very patient and understanding towards me and only wanted the truth in return. It wasn't fair for me to drag my craziness onto you and not expected to want to know why you should continue to put up with it." Marinette exclaimed firmly.
Luka frowned at her confused, he always loved her craziness and found it quite enduring. The problem was she was hardly around for him see it. However she continued before he could say as much, her song picking up a fast beat as she frantically tried to find a way to explain.
"I swear its not like I WANT lie to you or anyone else, but I really don't have any other choice. I know that's not fair to you, but I really like you and wanted this to work. I should have known me being... er... that other things would have gotten in the way, things I'm not allowed to talk about. But still thats not fair to you and I... uh.." Marinette trailed off not sure how to explain without giving to much away but still giving him a reasonable explanation and not just some flimsy excuse.
Eventually she just dropped her head in her hands defeated, her whole body slumped as if the weight of the world rested on her shoulders. Luka was surprised at how many different tunes suddenly played out of her in a discord as her walls dropped.
A heavy beat of frustration. The slow and forlorn notes of helplessness. An ostinato full of sisyphean. The quiet and fluent rhythm of loneliness. And much more that Luka was not able to decipher before Marinette breathed in a deep sigh and her song returned to her normal rhythm.
Luka found himself confused at how quickly her emotions disappeared. Is she suppressing her feelings? Why would she do that? Does she do that around everyone or are there people she actually lets in completely? The amout of negative feelings she released just now before hiding them again felt like alot built up over time. But how long has she been doing that?
Luka's inner ponderings stopped as Marinette spoke again in a quiet and solemn voice.
"I don't want to lie to you Luka." She reiterate calmly this time. "But I can't... Maybe we should..." Marinette trailed of and Luka felt his own heart sink.
This is not what he had in mind when he brought Marinette to his favorite spot. He wanted them to be open with each other and work through their issues. However Luka knew that could not happen so long as Marinette refused to try on her part.
And yet the pain he keeps briefly seeing in her makes him hesitant to simply let her go. He won't push her, she needs to be willing to open up to him on her own. However he wonders if she truly believes she can't let him in or if she is just scared of somthing and needs a bit of reassurance and a bit of a push to get past it.
Luka reaches out grabbing her hand. "Marinette are you sure that is what you truly want?" He asked her calmly.
Marinette meet his gaze again, her eyes were glossy again and Luka could see the torn look she was trying to hide.
"Because I don't think it is. I thought you said you were tired of putting up a front and hiding who you truly are?" He continued giving her hand a light squeeze.
"I am!" Marinette exclaimed a little louder then she ment to. She blinked at her out burst. Taking a deep breath she dropped her gaze and spoke again quietly this time.
"I am tired of it, but I don't really have a choice in the matter." She said defeated.
"You keep saying you can't, don't have a choice or are not allowed to. Can you tell me why you are so certain of that?" Luka asked.
"Because its dangerous!" Marinette snapped back immediately before she could even think about. Once she realized what she said though she gasped and put her hands over her mouth.
Luka was a bit surprised at her sharp tone but quickly composed himself and spoke again before Marinette could try taking any of her words back or change them.
"Why is it dangerous to share you life with others?" He asked then at her panicked look added. "You don't have to answer if you don't want to, but Marinette you should open up to someone. It doesn't have to be me either. It can be your parents or Alya or someone else entirely but if you continue to bottle it all up I'm worried you are going to cause yourself destruction." Luka said calm but firmly.
"I'm here for you if you need me, but if you don't trust that I can handle it then you should find someone who can, you don't deserve to bear it all alone." He added then was about to get up and walk away to let her ponder over his words however a hand reached out and grabbed him pulling him back into a sitting position.
Marinette didn't meet his gaze or give herself time to think about what she was about to say.
"Luka wait, stay. Your right I do feel alone and can barely take it anymore. I keep secrets and lie all the time. I lie to my friends, to my parents, everyone! And the worst part is I can't do it any other way!" Marinette cried burying her face in her hands. Her true feelings once again flowing out of her in a long fermata.
Luka reached out grabbing her shoulders. "Marinette, there is always another way." Luka reassured but the girl shook her head and looked up at Luka.
"No! Not this time! I have no choice Luka, all of this is bigger than us. It too big, way too big." Marinette said sadly.
"Marinette, an individual musician cannot make a polyphonic song by themselves. Its too much at one time. That's why two or more people work together to share responsibility." Luka stated patiently.
"But if I tell you it will change and possibly ruin everything we already had. I don't want to destroy my friendship with you Luka!" Marinette exclaimed.
There it is! The fear he initially sensed was holding her back. Luka gave a small reassuring smile.
"Thats not going to happen Marinette. No matter what I will always be here for you. As a just a friend or as somthing more, it doesn't matter. Whatever secret you have, I promise not to let it drive us apart. You keeping it to yourself out fear is what's causing a segregation in our songs." Luka stated firmly.
Marinette wavered with uncertainty and confliction. She opened her mouth to say something then closed it again. Luka could tell it was hard for her to make this choice and sat patiently while she made her decision.
Eventually Marinette looked down at her purse at her side. "Tikki?" She asked.
Luka furrowed his eyes in confusion. Tikki? Who's Tikki? Did she name her purse Tikki? If she did why was she asking her purse for permission to...
Luka's confused thoughts disappear as the purse opened and a little red creature with a black dot on its forhead peeked out at Marinette with an encouraging smile.
Marinette held out her open palm to the little creature that reminded Luka of Sass. The creature flew into her hand sitting down on her palm before turning its piercing blue eyes to Luka.
"Hello Luka, I'm Tikki. Its a pleasure to actually meet you." The little sprite said warmly.
Luka blinked snapping out of his shock before a large kind smile spread across his on face. "Its a pleasure to meet you too Tikki. I'm guessing you are the same creature Sass is?" He asked rhetorically.
Tikki nodded. "Kwami's." She said before looking up at Marinette. Luka followed her gaze and found Marinette trying to hold back a panic attack, and that is when the full understanding of everything hit Luka.
"You go to be Ladybug when you disappear." He stated and Marinette nodded.
Luka nodded to himself thoughtfully that also explained why she thought it was too dangerous to tell him the truth. As well as why she seemed to feel so trapped and overwhelmed by it.
Marinette waited anxiously for Luka to process everything. With every second that passed she came closer and closer to a full out panic attack.
'Oh my gosh he is going to think that me being Ladybug is too much. That I'm too dangerous to be around. That I'm stupid for being Ladybug the hero of Paris yet un-able to even maintain a normal dating relationship!...
Luka cut off her inner turmoil by wrapping her in a hug. "Thank you for letting me know the truth." He wispered to her and Marinette knew they would be okay. They would get through this.