Rebirth, a dungeons and dragons fanfic

Cognouza.

Cognouza was...

Lucien was not sure what it was, even if he had no problem lying to his companions on the subject. He knew that he only partially understood what the city he saw in his dreams was or what the Somnovem were. He was the Nonagon. He wore the Eyes of the Nine. But he didn't know everything.

Not yet.

Soon. Once he reached the city of flesh, all this knowledge would be his. Only he could do it. He alone could understand the glory which surrounded the city made of flesh and souls. Only he could grasp its potential. He was the Nonagon. He understood better than anyone what Cognouza, the Somnovem and Aeor were, much better than all those so-called scholars of the Claret Orders, the Cobalt Soul and the Cerberus Assembly.

Wrong, a voice whispered in his head. Vess DeRogna understood all of this better than you. That's why you asked her to perform this ritual. You didn't understand half of that ritual, despite all the intelligence you pride yourself to have. If you were, she couldn't have taken you by surprise and chase you out of your own body in an attempt to seize this power for herself.

Maybe the insidious voice was right. Partly. Lucien was smarter than Vess DeRogna. The Archmage only beat him because she knew more than him. Her long life and superior education allowed her to gain more knowledge than the Claret Orders had ever consented to give Lucien. And yes, she fooled him once, by surprise and treachery. However, all her knowledge had not prevented Lucien from entering her room. He killed her before she had the chance to utter a single word. Lucien smiled, remembering her shocked and outraged face. Did she think she was safe because she had hired bodyguards? Lucien had a much-needed lesson for her then: trust no one but yourself.

Look at the Tomb Takers. They had been his staunchest supporters from the start, even before they left the Claret Orders when Lucien tried and failed to convince them to change their perceptions of the world. Lucien was glad they brought him back. Cree's absolute devotion delighted him. Others, weaker than the Tomb Takers, would have left him to rot in his grave. However, he trusted them enough to follow him, not to accomplish something as tricky as the assassination of the Archmage of Antiquities and the recovery of the Book of Somnovem. He needed them, yes, but he trusted only himself to protect his life and finish his work.

Too bad for DeRogna if she couldn't see. Now she who was dead, and he was alive. No one liked the Archmage enough to resurrect her. And he? He'd learn death itself could only slow him down. Lucien had won. He'd taken her life. Better yet, he had taken back his book, the book that would bring him the glory he deserved.

Patience, he repeated to himself, pulling his coat closer to him. He was so close.

Cree stood up and brought him a hot cup of tea, which she forced into his hands. Lucien restrained himself and didn't glare at her. He accepted the cup with a smile. Ever since she had brought him back to life, the Tabaxi behaved as if he belonged to her. Yes, maybe he was alive because of her, but it didn't mean she had a say in what he was doing. It could eventually become a problem. Although, not necessarily. Lucien wouldn't need her and the Tomb-takers for very long. He still needed them to facilitate and assist in his ascension, but after that...

"Thank you," he said, raising the cup of tea in a gesture of disdain that passed over Cree's head. "What would I do without you?"

"Keep your strength, Lucien. We are going to need it in the next few days."

She glanced suspiciously at their unwilling guests. Poor girl. She didn't realize how little he cared about her, about everything. The closer they got to Aeor and their goal, the more detached he felt from these stupid material needs. Lucien barely felt the chilly wind. He wrapped up in his coat only because his body remembered being cold. He didn't need Caduceus's delicious-smelling tea. It was the price to pay for the greatness bestowed upon him, one he would happily pay over and over again. He was the Nonagon. And when he reached Aeor and set foot in Cognouza, when he seized the power of the Somnovem, he would definitely rise above it all. He could feel it. His body, alas, did not seem ready to accept this idea.

His body. Lucien shivered, but not because of the cold. He squeezed his mug harder, once, twice, and gulped all of its contents. He refused to worry about the burn in his throat. Lucien's body tried to cough, but he stopped it and took pride in his success. He was the master of his body and his needs, not the other way around.

He hadn't always treated his body that way, but things had changed. Another had lived in his body. Another had fed, watered and washed it. Worse, the intruder had usurped the right to disfigure it by tattooing it with feathers, animals and dazzling colors that erased the Eyes of the Nine's splendor. Sometimes Lucien felt it crawling under his skin.

No. He refused to think about it. His body was his and his alone.

Putting back the debonair mask he had displayed since their meeting with the Nein, Lucien stood up gracefully and joined them near the fire they had lit as far away from the Tomb-takers as they dared. Only Caduceus dared to cross the distance between the two fires to share his tea. The Nein were suspicious people, even though they were too incompetent to protect the woman who had paid them to protect her life. Lucien didn't hold it against them. It had made his job easier. As for their mistrust, it was mutual and at least made the journey through Eiselcross more interesting. Lucien hated this landscape of uniform snow.

"Thanks for this tea," he lied, handing the cup back to Caduceus. "It was delicious."

"No wonder," the halfling, Veth, sneered. "He makes with very nice dead people."

Better not to ask questions. Lucien decided to leave and return to his own fire. He could spy on the group at will, even he was far away. It would be quieter from afar. The half-orc sometimes sensed his presence, but he was the only one, and he couldn't use this ability indefinitely. Lucien could.

"Do you want to sit with us?" the Tiefling, Jester, asked with big, wet eyes. "We were just telling Caduceus stories from before we met him. There is this time when..."

"No, thank you."

From what he understood, any story about the group before the Firbolg arrived probably mentioned the abomination that had taken its place during his... absence. He was happy to remain ignorant of what his soulless body had done - for this thing, this "Mollymauk" was not a soul - without him to guide it.

"We don't have the time, anyway," he added. "Sleep. We'll have to depart early. I intend to leave at dawn and cross what remains between Aeor and us in short time. Neither you nor I want to linger in this blizzard."

This time, Lucien turned around to warn the Tomb Takers. He deliberately ignored the pain in his chest when he saw Jester's sad face. He didn't like the other Tiefling, he repeated himself. She was loud and childish. Dangerous, too. She saw Death when she read him his future. No. Lucien would not die. To console him, Jester had claimed that it was also a symbol of rebirth. She didn't know how right she was. Lucien was going to be reborn and rise higher than anyone since the Calamity.

The memory of the card reading was still unpleasant. Jester had seen things he had never said out loud. Yes, she was the most dangerous of the group. When they would have to take the Mighty Nein down, if that moment came, she had to be the first to fall. His heart sank. Why did the thought of seeing her dead hurt her so much? He had to be rational. At best, the Nein were living shields to allow them to advance into Aeor unarmed. At worst, they were pawns he would use and then throw away. Lucien wanted nothing more to do with them. They weren't allowed to befriend him and smile when he moved or say something, as if they knew him better than he did. He didn't know them and didn't want to know them.

Period.

Alas, they didn't seem to think so — especially the other clerk who was heeling him.

"I have more cups to collect," he apologized evenly. Then he frowned. "Try to to understand them. It is always hard to come across a living memory of a loved one. It is necessary, however. This is how mourning works. "

"What they grieve never existed."

"Maybe. What they felt was no less real, and Mollymauk's death shaped them far more than his life. Now, each of them would sacrifice their life with no hesitation to make the world a little better. He taught them that."

Lucien strongly doubted it. He would never have acted like that. He had learned early to trust nothing and no one and that there was no shame in surviving at the cost of the lives of others. The intruder couldn't be that different from him.

Then, the same insidious voice that he quickly learned to hate whispered, why do you associate emotion to each of those faces? Affection, disdain, respect,... Those feelings were so different from what he felt for Cree and the others. So, if the intruder inhabited your body and left behind those ghosts of emotion, what did you left behind for him to find? What did he find out about yourself you told no one? What did he reveal to his "friends"?

He didn't want to think about it. It would only distract his mind from the task at hand, and it wouldn't change anything in the end. Besides, if the abomination had kept something of him as Lucien had kept something of it, this "Mollymauk" could not be the paragon of virtue described by the Nein.

"Why do you tell me that?" He asked at last, seeing that Caduceus didn't seem disposed to go away.

"Because it must be just as difficult to see strangers mourn for you without knowing you, loving you without understanding you, and wanting to see you disappear so that a more familiar smile animates your features. It couldn't be easier for you than for them. Maybe letting them tell you about Mollymauk would help all of you, or maybe it would make things worse for everyone. Who knows? But you know all this. You have thought about it. At least you had the kindness not to blame my friends for the pain they feel when they see you. But I wonder, did he leave something behind that could grow up and make you a better man? I don't know, but I think you're asking yourself the same question. Good night, Mister Lucien."

Frozen in place, Lucien watched him go. Caduceus was wrong. "Mollymauk" was a parasite unworthy of occupying his body, not something he could learn anything from. Lucien was the Nonagon, the Somnovem representative, blessed with greatness. The intruder had left nothing worth keeping, not courage, or compassion, or anything else. Lucien may not have been perfect, but he would be soon. The other wasn't worth thinking about, and the Firbolg's words couldn't hurt him.

And yet... Lucien couldn't get his legs to obey. He wanted to yell at his Tomb Takers to slaughter the Mighty Nein. The trouble the Nein created outweighed any advantage they could offer. But no sound came from his mouth. So Lucien took off one of his gloves and dug his fingernails into his skin, scratching it hard enough to draw blood. Sometimes, he wanted to punish this body for being too weak to keep its soul inside. It was his body, not someone else's, and even if it could not keep his soul, it should have refused to accept another one inside. Even a false soul like this "Mollymauk". How long would it take for him to erase even his memory from his body?

Lucien remembered the first days and weeks after his resurrection. It had taken him almost a month to regain control of his body. The intruder had kept it in a terrible state. Lucien had to deal with reduced reflexes and strength. He hated to think about that time, when he had been as fragile as a child, at the mercy of his companions even for eating and walking. Viciously, he hoped the other had suffered likewise the moment it took Lucien's place. It would only be fair for the damage it had caused, the scars and tattoos it had left behind.

Publicly, Lucien told the Nein that he understood their grief and smiled with pretended compassion. But he would only be satisfied when he erased all traces of the intruder. The Somnovem book spoke of Cognouza inhabitants' extraordinary powers, suggesting that their only limits were imagination. Lucien was ready to believe it. In which case, his body would soon be purified of the intruder's remains. Unless he punished his traitorous body even more by making himself a new one, more faithful and more obedient.

As for the Mighty Nein...

Without a word, he watched them huddle together and put up their magical hut. Lucien could have made it disappear with a thought, but he didn't. So instead, he began to plan. After a day of observation, Lucien was now sure that they were too wary to let themselves be manipulated as he had envisioned. The memory of their "friend" was too powerful for them to accept Lucien's vague offers of friendship. He still had a chance, though. Curiosity was the Neins' flaw and the key to reaching them.

Lucien sat down between the Neins and the Tomb-Takers. Soon he was the only one who didn't sleep. He didn't even try. Sleep wasn't necessary anymore. There were only two things to do, take a deep breath and open his mind.

Immediately, Lucien saw it.

Cognouza.

The city of unspeakable beauty inspiring terror in his heart. As every time since the first time he had seen it, the terror receded, giving way to admiration. After all, what made the city terrible was what also made it so glorious: the masses of flesh beating to the beat of thousands of hearts, the insatiable hunger that radiated from its walls, the blinding brilliance of the spirits that inhabited it.

How can someone not desire that?

Despite himself, Lucien thought back to Jester's smile, that sincere and honest smile he found so hard to imitate. Like him, she wore horns, a sign of her cursed heritage, but she had grown up happy and loved. Lucien had grown up in Shadycreek Run, abandoned by all because of this same heritage. He surpassed everyone around him with his intelligence and used it to survive and then get out of that gutter. The Claret Orders had helped him to nourish this intelligence. Lucien had vowed to polish it like a diamond before his instructors criticized him for what they had applauded him for at the beginning. They felt that there should be limits to knowledge and that Lucien should not learn more. Idiots.

The Somnovem and Lucien understood each other. They shared that same hunger for knowledge, forever impossible to satisfy, the same certainty that their only limits were those they created for themselves. Lucien could feel the seven of them attracting him beyond plans to the heart of the city. He saw their spirits radiate even stronger than the other inhabitants of Cognouza.

Welcome...

Come...

Free...

Take...

Forever, forever...

One with us, one with us, one with us, share, become only...

Lucien did not weaken under the assault of their thoughts. Patience, he sent them in response. Soon. Then he stifled their voices and fed on the glorious vision of the city. The Somnovem were still pulsing in various parts of the city, but he paid them no attention. His mind was much sharper than theirs, blunted by eight centuries of inaction.

He smiled. Vess DeRogna believed that becoming the Nonagon was the way to open the door to Cognouza. She was right. The Archmage also believed that the Nonagon was the one who would free the Somnovem. She wasn't wrong. However, she was mistaken about what would come next. Vess DeRogna thought she could negotiate her reward. Lucien was going to take it by force. Of course, he was grateful to the Somnovem for marking him and preserving his soul so that it would not be scattered to the four winds and could be returned to his body, but he was not fooling himself. Promises bound only those who believed in them. Gaudius, Luctus, Ira, Vigilan, Elatis, Timorei, Mirumus, Culpasi, Fastidian, he knew them as well as they knew him. They were mad, completely mad. The Somnovem became the character trait that defined them the most. They still knew how to plot and plan, but they could be deceived. Even in their madness, they were brilliant. Lucien could admire that. They intended to use him and offer only bits of knowledge in return. They would keep Lucien their servant by promising more scraps that would never satisfy Lucien while they store up more knowledge. Each would try to set him against the others by promising him more than his partners.

They could try. The Somnovem weren't gods, even though Cree treated them as such. Lucien would control them and take what they intended to deny him. He knew their weaknesses, first and foremost their deep mistrust of one another.

Vess DeRogna had helped him after all. He had been too hasty in performing the ritual. Then, he had an an objective but no plan. Those long weeks lost regaining control of his body had given him time to think and develop a strategy. The Somnovem would not integrate him into their little cabal. He would take control of it.

Even the actions of the Nein had benefited him. If their reckless actions had not led to "Mollymauk"'s death, he would have had a much harder time retrieving his body, despite all the help of the Somnovem.

Almost reluctantly, Lucien left the dream and let the image of Cognouza fade away. It remained imprinted on his retinas, but he could not risk the Somnovem understanding his plan. It would be tricky. They were linked psychically, and the closeness would make it easier for them to enter his mind.

Lucien had to distract their attention. Maybe he had killed DeRogna sooner than he should have. Or not. Yes, she would have diverted the Somnovem's attention, but Lucien was not so arrogant that he thought he could stop another attempt on his life if she tried. DeRogna was vicious in her attacks, and she would have had the Neins to back her up. Besides, he needed the book. No, he had chosen the right time for revenge, but he needed another distraction. The Tomb Takers wouldn't do the trick. They were too predictable, and they had been on the Somnovem radar for too long. Their loyalty, Cree's in particular, would make them obey any of his orders. They might give him a little time, but not enough.

The Nein, on the other hand... The Nein were unpredictable. They had something of the wild beast backed up against a wall. They could provide this diversion, but Lucien's idea could also backfire. Unless he finds a way to control their unpredictability. Fortunately, Lucien had some resources at his disposal.

A book, more precisely. A pure leather-bound temptation that Vess DeRogna couldn't resist. Some of the Nein would, but not all of them. Caduceus showed a few sparks of wisdom, but he was a happy fool. Yasha was a stupid beast. The others... Lucien knew how wizards were. Obviously, Caleb was some Cerberus Assembly's offspring. He would give in. Fjord could, too. What the Nein had inferred from his past made him think that power was a temptation for him. And Beauregard. Beauregard would give in. These Cobalt Soul monks were too eager to understand the world for her to pass up a chance to lay her hands on the book. They would look for a clue, a way to kill him. Yes, Caleb and Beauregard at least would give it a try. The others were less certain, but even one eye attached to one of them would bring him closer to victory.

The key was not to show how much he wanted them to read the book. Instead, Lucien had to pretend to lend the book because he was finding them likeable, was doing them a favor and assumed they would return it to him later. Or, better yet, he could pretend to act on a whim and pretend to regret it the next second. Anyway, he didn't need to let them read the book for very long. A glimpse would be enough to link them to the Somnovem. And from there, Lucien could constantly watch them if he wanted to. They wouldn't be a problem anymore.

Perhaps the distraction would only last until they entered Aeor. If he was lucky, it would work until he reached Cognouza. If that allowed him to get to the Aether Crux without the Somnoven understanding his... Yes, the plan was risky. He risked a lot. The trick would be to keep enough distance between the Mighty Nein and him when in Cognouza, to divide the Somnoven attention and keep the Nein busy. If it worked, the Nein wouldn't have a chance to stop him. After all, he would soon have a glimpse of their actual capabilities while he could easily hide those granted by the Somnovem. They had seen "Mollymauk" fight, but it was only a parody of his actual skills.

Lucien smiled. He wouldn't need to kill them after all. To his surprise, it was a relief. The only explanation was that it was some attachment left by the intruder. That thing had loved them enough not to want to see them dead, months after its disappearance. That was dedication. And this time, the intruder was right. It would be a waste to kill these brilliant individuals. They could serve him, as much if not more than the Tomb Takers. Their inventiveness would become his strength if he managed to control them. But, on the other hand, if they attacked him,... Well, he preferred to keep them alive, but he made no promise to do so.

A plan was developing in his mind. He would give them a preview of the book tomorrow, and when the Somnovem put their claws on them, Lucien would do the same. In two to three days, they would be at Aeor's entrance. By then, Lucien would seize the seal of the threshold they were holding and find a way to distance them. They would track him to Aeor, still two steps back, distract the Somnovem and witness his victory. He hadn't seen them in action yet, but something told him that they would survive their encounter with Cognouza and its denizens. Then he would thank them for their help, just as he would thank the Tomb Takers. Unlimited power based on imagination was what Lucien would gain. He would use it to give them what they wanted. Glory, love, fortune, missing parents... They would thank Lucien for what he did to them when they saw what he could do for them. Perhaps he would even show mercy and offer them to create a new body for the abomination that was "Mollymauk".

Lucien smile widened. Why sleep when he could use the time to refine his plans to perfection? He was sure of himself now. The Nein would not die. They would survive and serve his plans.

As it should.

He evoked Cognouza's glorious vision in his mind and bathed in its glory, ignoring his left hand shaking at the thought of manipulating the Nein. Lucien was calm. He was in control. Everything was ready, and soon they would witness rebirth.