Silver & Gold: Part Two
—-xxx—-
Kate drives him into the village for his booster shot appointment, a Pfizer to 'offset' the J&J he got at the beginning of all of this. Lanie said he could mix and match, that it might give him a confidence booster as well, and Kate is willing to try.
"You two don't have to come in," he says from the passenger seat.
"Yes we do."
"She can't wear a mask," he says sharply. A rapid pulse in his throat. "Kate—"
"Yes, she can," she answers calmly. Kate turns in the driver's seat, looking back at Mia in her carseat, those cute fat cheeks and curly dark hair. Her sunglasses are little Ray-Bans because Castle spoils her. "Hey, baby, remember what we've been working on for Pops?"
"Mack!"
"Yup."
"Mack?" Castle hisses. "Kate, please don't—"
She gets out of the car before he can beg her not to do this; she's not sure she can take that right now. She opens the back door of the SUV, letting in the too-blue sky with that brilliant sunlight. The wind whips through the SUV and Mia makes a shivering sound, a full-body wriggle as she shrinks back in the carseat.
"I know, it's cold out here. That's why I said you needed to put your coat on before we left, remember?" She unbuckles Mia from the carseat, one hand on the girl's chest to keep her back in the seat so Kate can lift the straps over her head. Last week, Mia jerked forward in excitement and practically choked herself on the buckle.
"Tote, Mikey."
"I told you to wear it." She wants to rub this one in as much as possible; maybe then it will stick for next time. Castle is out on his side of the SUV, hands on his hips, worrying about it, like he's trying to decide if he says something to her. "Here, baby, lean forward and slide out. We'll put your coat on."
"Fanks, Mikey."
"You're welcome," she says promptly. Kisses Mia's beaming face for that. Mia slithers to the floorboards of the SUV and passes over the coat they dumped back here, a rainbow puffy coat she used to love to wear and now disdains. "Arm, please."
Mia thrusts out an arm and Kate threads it through the coat, then the other, and then Kate is pulling it taut around her belly and zipping it up. "Mikey, say jeez," Mia beams, hamming for the camera she's demanding Kate produce.
Kate laughs, and she hears Castle chuckle just behind her. He's come around to their side and so far hasn't said anything against Kate's determination that they all support him in his efforts. She does pull out her phone from the back pocket of her jeans, and when she takes the picture of Mia in her rainbow coat and cool shades and that riot of curly hair, she gives way to the urge to message it to Alexis.
Delivered.
She waits a heartbeat, hoping.
It remains unread.
Never mind.
Kate shoves her phone into her back pocket, pulls out the child's mask from her coat pocket instead. She flourishes the Henry mask, this one purple with pale blue unicorns, and Mia claps her hands in excitement. "My mack!"
"Alright, Mia, remember what we do with a mask?"
"Oh," Castle murmurs. "Did you really manage it?"
"Just watch," she says under her breath. Leans in and removes the sunglasses, then aims the mask for Mia's mouth and nose—she always gets this baby bird look as if Kate's about to feed her—and once the edges of the triangle shaped Henry mask touch her cheeks, Mia squeals in delight.
Castle laughs. "Wow, look at you, wearing a mask like all the adults and big kids."
"Mack, Mikey."
"Yes, I'm putting it on you," she promises. She carefully pulls one loop behind Mia's ear, then the other, making sure to pull loose her curls, making sure it's a good fit. "There we go, unicorn mask is on, Mia. How's it feel?"
Mia gives her a thumb's up, which isn't actually her thumb, but her index finger. Kate grins and thumb's up back.
"Mia, I'm so proud of you," Castle says, leaning in and scooping her up out of the SUV. "Look at you, so grown up. Not too fast, you know, don't grow up too fast."
"Mikey teach me."
"She did, didn't she? She's a good teacher."
Kate pulls her own mask out of her other pocket, a Henry mask in exactly the same unicorn pattern—it was the only damn way, and when Castle catches sight of her, he laughs, and hard, and Kate is glad the masks covers her scowl.
"Don't think you're getting out of this one," Kate warns him. She has a mask for him too, and dangles it from her fingers by the ear straps. "I promised Mia we'd all be the same."
"Oh," Rick chokes down his laughter, "oh, yes, right. I see." He takes the mask with one hand, shifting Mia higher up so as not to drop her. "Uh. Yeah."
Kate smirks, takes the squirming toddler out of his arms so he has his hands free for application. "Look, see? Pops is putting on his mask too."
Castle shoots her a dark look, but he does as he's told, putting on the purple unicorn mask with aplomb.
Mia claps.
Castle's ears are tinged pink, but he reaches out and takes Mia out of her arms once more. "Are we ready then?"
"Yay!" Mia says, flinging up her hands. Her little face is almost dwarfed by the child's mask, but nothing can muffle that excitement. Kate promised her a milkshake for wearing the mask with Pops (she has to bite her tongue, every time she talks to Mia about Rick, almost calling him Daddy more times than she can count).
Castle hoists Mia higher. "Alright. Let's go get boostered!"
—-xxx—-
Kate herds Mia away from the bedroom door and tries to shush her, but it's a losing battle. "Mia, honey, careful with that milkshake."
Mia runs screaming towards the door to her room and flings it shut, a cackle that sounds far more evil than it should, the sound of a pillow being thrown against the door. Maybe a stuffed animal. Then a book.
Well. Fine for now. The baby gate is up at the stairs, the door to the servants' side is locked, let her have her milkshake in peace. It's only a kale shake with a little bit of Hershey's syrup and a lot of vitamin C. And if it spills—
Wood floors and cute rugs means it wont be too bad to clean up, plus Kate is the kind of disciplinarian who believes everything is a teachable moment, so that means Mia will be cleaning it up with her, no matter how long it takes.
She cracks open the bedroom door and pokes her head inside. Castle is sprawled over their bed, shirt off, just his boxers, snoring. She chews on her lip and tiptoes inside, moving slowly to keep from startling him. He was fine for an hour, sore arm, and then while Kate was wrestling the nearly-empty milkshake sippy cup from Mia, Castle laid his head down on the kitchen table.
Kate never got that sippy cup back. She tended to Rick instead.
She touches his back, pulls her hand away damp. She combs her fingers through the hair curling on his nape, only a little entranced with the bigness of his body in their body, only a little wishing there wasn't a toddler two doors down trying to crack open an almost-empty sippy cup so she can lick the milkshake from the sides of the plastic.
Kate bends to kiss his temple, trails her fingers down his arm, the sore one, checking the spot. The booster went in much easier than the other two, and Kate herself had no adverse reactions to any of the shots—sure, maybe a little tiredness with the second—but Castle has run fever and been down for 24 hours with all three. And he has a spot here on his arm, she thinks, a white spot where the rest is golden from all their time in the heated pool.
She's about to buckle, give way to the urge to slip into bed with him and just watch him sleep, when her phone buzzes in her back pocket, insistent. She grabs for it, expecting it to be 'potential spam' like it always is, but instead she sees Alexis's ID photo lighting up her screen.
She answers hurriedly, voice low as she heads for the bedroom door. "Alexis?"
"Yeah, um, hey Kate."
"Alexis," she says, almost can't believe it. She's just out of the bedroom when she realizes. "Oh, your dad is—"
"He's not right there is he?"
"I mean, he's asleep but I can get him up—"
"No!"
Kate pauses with her hand on the knob, the door cracked open, a sliver of Rick's profile. "No?"
"Don't get him up. It's too hard to talk to him right now—did you know he sent me an email with this whole sheet about how I'm making bad decisions because I'm somehow mental with grief? Like, what kind of bullshit is that?" There's a noise on her end, and Alexis says oh, sorry, and then comes back to the phone. "He thinks I'm acting out because I'm sad. He thinks this isn't my life here, trying to—"
Kate waits, but Alexis doesn't finish the sentence, or she's distracted by something else. Kate offers, tentatively, "Okay." She takes a deep breath. "But I know he'd be happy to wake up for this. For you."
"No. Let him—he's napping in the middle of the day?"
"He got the booster shot," she says firmly, almost as if she's throwing down a challenge. She heard that Meredith is being—
"Oh good."
Kate closes the door softly, leans back against the wooden frame. "Yeah. It is good."
"You too? You got the booster?"
"In October. I'm a—used to be—a front line worker." Back when she got the first shot, in January. But not since.
"Oh. Yeah." January was when it all went wrong. When Martha died, when Kate was—
"Kate?" Alexis clears her throat, lowers her voice as if she needs to whisper. "Thanks for sending that picture of Mia."
"Yeah," she whispers back, heart squeezing. "Of course."
Another silence, a heartbeat and then another, and it dark, heavy-laden, and Kate isn't sure she should break it.
"Um." Alexis says something else but it's muffled, and then Kate can hear movement, a man's voice—
"Is he there?" Kate gasps. "Alexis, you—"
"Hang on," she says, rushed, and Kate can hear someone talking to Alexis, someone with those low rich tones, but it can't be.
She said Mia's father was—
"Kate."
"Alexis?" she asks.
"Um, yeah. We're… uh, I don't know. Taking it slow."
Taking it slow?
Kate hears again that voice and Alexis says, with her hand over the phone or maybe the phone held against her stomach, no, just get me whatever you're getting.
She's hooked up with Mia's father. And didn't tell them. Didn't even text to say she found Jalen in the States, let alone—
"Hey, Kate? I'm sorry I forgot your birthday."
Kate wraps her arms around her body, strangely so very hurt that she doesn't know what to say to this woman. Rick's daughter. Mia's mother.
I'm her mother.
"I meant to call you and then time just got away from me," Alexis says. "If there's anything that…"
"My birthday," she says. She hopes that crack in her voice didn't transmit over the line. "Um, yes, well, it was kind of lost in celebrating Thanksgiving."
"Oh. Good?"
"Low key," she says carefully. "Your call was kind of our highlight. We had take out."
"Oh."
Maybe that's the wrong thing to say. She won't add Mia cried for you at bedtime after you called. "I bought your dad that whiskey he found at St Andrews, when we went? Had it shipped, and it somehow made it despite the boats in your harbor. So he had a fun day."
Alexis makes some kind of noise that might be a laugh, or commiseration maybe. "I'm glad you guys got to do some traveling before all this."
"Mm."
"Is New York back in lockdown?" Alexis asks. "I heard they've got the fifth wave or something."
Kate stops up all the thing she wants to say, folds those words back inside her. "They're not on lockdown so far as I know. Just putting some precautions back in place. No one is looking forward to a Christmas like last year—"
"Everyone stuck at home."
"Everyone dying," Kate murmurs.
She can hear Alexis flinch on the other side. "Y-yeah." Is that a sniffle. "Kate, I just can't come get Mia yet. You understand, right? I can't when it's… I don't know if Jalen even—this is so tentative. He wanted me to get rid of it—"
Mia, she doesn't say. Get rid of Mia.
"But I couldn't do that. And we're still working through that decision I made without him. If I brought Mia out to LA now, it would just break this apart—"
"Bring Mia to LA?" Kate croaks.
Alexis falls silent.
"Oh," Kate tries. "Oh." She's known—of course she has—isn't she the one telling him—
"Kate?"
"You have a plan, I get it," she says quickly.
"It… sounds like you don't, actually, get it." Alexis sounds defensive. "I mean, I really thought you, of all people, would understand what I'm doing here, why I can't give up yet. Everyone thought I was crazy, but he's back stateside, it's working, it can work—"
"Me of all people?"
Alexis takes a noisy breath in, almost a cry. "You were the one who couldn't sleep in the loft when Dad went missing."
Oh.
"He didn't show up and you took off your wedding dress and never wore it again."
"It was ruined," she whispers. Fire, ash, the suppression foam, the cascading water, the long slide down the embankment and— "It wasn't supposed to be a symbol."
"You went back to New York but you never stepped into the loft again. Not until he was found."
"Is this… an accusation?" From so long ago now?
"No! I meant—you didn't stay at home, you didn't curl up in bed and sob your eyes out and do nothing. I'm not letting this go either."
Well, what can she say to that?
"You fought for him. And Dad came back. And you have—I want what you have, Kate. Can't you understand that?"
Kate presses a hand over her eyes. "I can understand that."
"Can you maybe make my dad understand it too?"
No. But she'll try.
—-xxx—-