Silver & Gold: Part Two
—-xxx—-
When he first hears Mia cry out for them, Castle is just out of the shower and Kate moving slow. "I'll make coffee," he says, yanking on some sweatpants and a t-shirt, "while I'm down there with her."
"Thanks." She's sitting on the edge of the bed, rubbing her eyes. "Be there in a minute. I know you have book edits."
He waves her off; she can shower at the very least. His time is flexible even if the deadline is not.
Mia is standing up in her toddler bed, clinging to her stuffed unicorn—really, it's not the unicorn of little girls' dreams; it's navy with a black mane and a yellow star around a copper-colored horn. It looks more like a nightmare than a unicorn, but somehow Mia has become attached to the thing.
"Hey there, you awake and ready for breakfast?" Castle picks her up, cradling the back of the baby's head as he feels at her pull-up. Wet of course. They were trying a bit of potty training, but Kate thinks she's still too immature. "Let's get some dry pants and change out of these pjs, huh?"
He lays her down on the changing table and unzips the yellow footed pajamas, and Mia looks up at him solemnly.
"Hi, Pops," she says.
He chuckles. "Hi, Mia. Waking up now?"
"Tote?"
"Yup, we'll make some toast. Some for Mikey too, okay?"
"Ai, ai."
"Very good." He cleans her up and tugs on the reusable diaper. The pull-up goes in the trash, unfortunately, but there was a commercial for these with Moana on them, and he made the mistake of putting them in an online order and now they can't go back.
The reusables are at least cute. Kate got them from a local shop in the village, a woman who sews them by hand and uses these bamboo cotton inserts—really just ingenuous. But not Moana.
"Let's go, munchkin." Mia is already straining upward, so Castle grabs her by the hands and pulls her to her feet on the changing table—something Alexis would be severely unhappy with him about (but she's not here). "Wanna dance? Is that what you're doing?"
Mia squats and bounces up again, her hips rocking side to side, trying to shake off his hands with her own.
He grips her tighter. "What song is in your head, kiddo?"
"Mona."
"Moana, of course, wanna go downstairs and watch it while you eat breakfast? You can dance dance dance."
"Yay!"
He carries her downstairs, starts the toast and Kate's coffee, and then has to make good on his Moana promise. They're trying to avoid using the iPad as a baby-sitter, but he doesn't count the television; he puts on the streaming service and finds her movie, sets Mia down on the floor.
Rapt, standing before the tv with both hands clasped to her chest, waiting. He's about to leave her to it when she demands, "Tain! Sanna!"
"Santa's Village? Okay, baby. One sec."
Castle manages to cage Mia in the baby palace with the movie and the train both going, and he hurriedly pours Kate's coffee in one of the travel mugs, because she's going to have get a move on. Plus, as he jogs up the stairs—at least until his knee grinds; he twisted it while they were up to no good in the middle of the night—he's glad the coffee has a top to it. He comes around the door at a clip, stops dead.
Kate is face-first in the mattress, naked, her hair soaking the pillow, looking like she's fallen back to sleep.
"Cute. There's coffee to wake you up." He bypasses the bed to lower the travel mug to her side table, and then he heads to the bathroom to shave. "Mia's watching Moana—no lecture—and she's had toast but that's it. Scrambled eggs maybe? Honestly, do whatever you want."
The buzzing of his electric razor of course overrides whatever she might say back, but he tries to go quickly, rubbing a hand against his jaw to be sure the fast work doesn't aggravate him. Good enough.
He heads back to the bedroom but Kate is still exactly as she was, only now, he can see her eyes are open.
"Uh-oh," he says.
Kate whimpers. "Did something wrong in the shower."
"Okay, okay." Castle heads to the bed and puts a fist in the mattress beside her hip, tries to very carefully pull the sheet up over her. "I told you—"
"Don't you dare say I told you so," she groans.
He shuts up, sitting now beside her, making sure not to jostle the mattress. "How bad is it?"
"Can't move," she says, slowly turning her head. Looking at him. "Tried a couple times."
"Heating pad? Muscle relaxer? What do you want?"
"I gotta get up."
"No."
"You have edits."
"I'll put Moana on repeat and sit just outside the baby gate with my laptop."
"Castle," she sighs.
He waits, because they both know how this happened. It's not that she carried Mia on her hip for a couple hours, not that she was crawling around the Christmas tree helping him thread the lights, but because in 2016, a man invaded their home and shot her multiple times.
"It's a miracle you can walk," he murmurs.
For a long time, she says nothing. Just breathing.
And then—
"Pills," she mumbles.
"Good choice. I'll get you some water to take them too."
He heads back for the medicine cabinet in the bathroom, grabs the pill bottle, and then his own water glass which he probably should wash out. Oh ew, yeah, toothpaste flecks in it. Castle rubs the sides of the glass with his fingers, rinses it out, checks to be sure it's clean enough and then fills it up.
He brings the water and the pill bottle back to the bedside and just when he's about to kneel down, he thinks better of it and simply crouches beside her. "Hey. Here we go."
Kate opens her eyes, licks her lips. "Help me try something first?"
"Yeah, yeah, what do you want? Pop your back?"
She nods.
He sets the pills and water on the bedside table—
"Gross, is that your water glass you never wash."
"Washed just for you," he says, shifting over her onto the bed. "Back to back, hook your arm through mine?"
"Yeah, one sec."
It takes her an extraordinarily long time to push her back to his on the bed, and when he feels her warm body against his, he hooks his arm through hers. "You okay?"
"Yeah, yeah. Okay. Go."
They've done this before, and it does seem to help, but Castle moves slowly, rolling to his stomach until Kate is on his back. Damp with the shower, her hair soaking wet, he can't help thinking she feels good. Of course she doesn't feel good, which is why they're here.
He finds her other arm, she hooks hers slowly around his bicep, and he can feel her trembling. Must really hurt.
"Spasms?" he says.
"Yeah, one sec."
"Waiting on you, babe." He's ready to go, hands pressed into the mattress, knees dug into the bed. Just a little arch of his back and she might get her spine adjusted, or it won't work at all. "I can call the chiro after this."
"Maybe so."
He can feel her breathing, pacing herself.
"Okay."
"Okay?" He gives a push up, testing her, and she whimpers again. "No, no. Not doing this. Muscle relaxer, that's the only route."
She groans as he slides out from under her, sweat has broken out on her forehead, her hands are gripping the sheets as he crawls back around for the pills.
He hands her two of the small ones, gives her the water, cups the back of her neck to stabilize her as she swallows the pills.
He waits to make sure she's settled, then he finds the heating pad in the ottoman at the foot of the bed. He plugs it in and settles the heating pad over her lower back, pulls the sheet up over her. "Want me to get a towel for your hair?"
"No," she breathes. "No, just… I don't want to move."
"Yeah, okay. Just rest."
It'll be him and Mia then.
—-xxx—-
"Okay, gonna cut you off, sir." Castle ends Moana with the credits and sure enough, Mia bursts into tears. She's very good at crocodile tears, she even sounds truly hurt, rather than simply throwing a tantrum. "Hey, look, Mia. I've got your coat; we're going to do something fun."
He's glad he changed her into those cute navy cords and the mustard yellow sweater. She looks like a little diva, and with her rainbow puffy coat, and the gold earrings Alexis put in her ears at her one-year birthday, she could be instagrammable. Even with those tears. He's severely tempted, but Kate has put a ban on his IG posts, and absolutely zero photos on Twitter after his shenanigans on their anniversary.
Party pooper.
"Come on, Mia."
She subsists crying long enough for Castle to bundle her up, but there are still pitiful looks to the television and a leaning out from his arms as they pass.
"Did you see the big tree in the living room?" he says, distracting her. "See the lights?"
"Pity," she says.
"Yeah, it is pretty. Would you like a Mia-sized tree in your rainbow room?"
"Ooooh." She clasps her hands together and gives him a soulful look. "Pity in Me room."
"That's right, a pretty Christmas tree in Mia's room. But we have to go get it, and find our decorations. That means... shopping!"
"Oooh, hop hop hop! iPad?"
"Oh," he says, shame flooding his cheeks as he grabs the keys off the hook. "No. Shopping in person. Downtown, in the Village, remember where we saw the lights and played in the candy cane forest?"
"Ooh, hop where?"
"Yeah, they have more stores than just hardware," he chuckles. He isn't even sure Mia has been inside a store. "You'll have to wear your mask indoors, okay? New York City re-instituted their mask mandate and I would just feel better if you were masked."
"Ai?"
"Right, yeah, too much information. Unicorn mask." He pulls her mask out of his own coat pocket and shows it to her. "And I brought mine too."
"Ai, ai, Pops."
"Excellent news, Mia. Thank you for humoring your old dad." He winces, a flash of guilt, struggles out of it again as they open the garage. "Pops is being silly. Don't mind him."
"Ai. Mikey?"
"Mikey is upstairs sleeping. She hurt her back again."
"Oh, po Mikey. Po Mikey. Wuve you, Mikey." She blows kisses in the general direction of the door and beams at him, expecting praise.
"That's very sweet of you, Mia. We can text Mikey when we get to the Village, send her kisses from the store." He opens the back door of the SUV, puts her into the baby seat, straps her in without a fuss. She's being quite good; it's a Christmas miracle how docile. "We'll shop for your tree and your decorations. I was thinking rainbow and unicorns, but if you have something better in mind, let me know."
"Hmm." She taps her chin as if thinking.
"Well, you are a hilarious little bug," he chuckles. Bends to kiss her forehead. "And so smart too. Fingers and toes all in?" She wriggles in the seat and he closes the back door, lopes around for the driver's seat.
Once they're on the road, he points out the Christmas decorations of other beach homes, palatial estates with elaborate get-ups, massive inflatables, a Santa which rivals some of the tallest pine trees. "Whoa, look at that one, Mia."
"Ai ai ai—" she babbles. He risks a look back at her in the seat and she seems to see what he sees too, her eyes tracking the landscape outside.
"Yeah, they really—oh, I think that's Jay-Z and Beyonce's house. Wow. Just. Wow."
"Ow," Mia echoes. "Ow, Pops, ow."
They can't even see the house, really; it's just the lawn which has been turned into a snow-drenched winter wonderland, complete with shining old-time gazebo and white lights, a faux ice rink, and mechanical skaters which make figure eights on the pond. He slows down and pulls off to one side so Mia can crane her neck and see it all. "Yeah, wow for real."
"Pity. Hop now."
"Yes, very much so. On to shopping. I'm slightly horrified at how easily you dismiss this wondrous display as merely pretty; however, I should lay the blame on my own—"
"I not know."
AKA, he's talking too much.
"Shopping, here we come," he says instead.
Castle pulls back onto the lane and takes them on into the Village. Mia insists on walking, and since he's going to require a few hours of cooperation, he allows that and keeps her hand in his, going at a snail's pace as she inspects every brick in the sidewalk, and then being jerked ahead as she races to the next interesting thing.
Outside the Wonder Shop, which is a Christmas pop-up that started before Halloween and stays until Lunar New Year (but not Valentine's day, which he finds weird), he tugs Mia between his knees and helps her put on the unicorn mask. His own goes on after, fitting tightly to his cheeks. He holds open the door and the bell makes her look up, and as he shuffles inside, he has to grab her hand before she can dart off.
No, best carry her.
"Stick with me, kiddo. Pops has the credit card."
"Hop pity tee."
"Exactly. Ooh look at this, it's a fake, but it's very handsome."
Mia screws up her face at the plastic evergreen, shakes her head.
A chuckles comes from just out of his view. "A woman of firm opinions," a voice says as he turns. Castle smiles at the red-aproned shop worker, an older woman with arthritic hands and a paper mask who looks like she just might be a cheek-pincher. "She's a little doll. Your daughter?"
"Granddaughter," he says, which feels a ridiculous point to make. Kate is always saying it doesn't matter, really, just let it go. He's never been able to let half-truths lie. "We're getting a tree for her room." He jostles Mia in his arms a little to get her attention, but she's leaning past him with a gleam in her eye. "Looks like she spotted something."
"Well, let me know if you need any help."
"Will do." The old woman might be lonely for company but Castle isn't yet comfortable with face to face, even masked. He tucks his head to Mia's ear. "What you see?" he murmurs, turning back around.
She makes grabby hands and leans out—
for the most gaudy, garish, pink tinsel tree he's ever laid eyes on.
"Oh, Mia," he mutters. "Pink tinsel."
"Mine. Mine."
Of course.
—-xxx—-
Kate wakes overheated and heavy, but also capable of rolling carefully onto her back. The spasms have stopped; the pinch in her oblique is fierce and warning, but not debilitating. She can breathe without pain.
She waits a moment, listening to the sounds of the house in the late afternoon... gloaming.
It's quiet, hushed. She has the sense that there are two other people keeping their voices down just outside. A waiting and almost furtive quiet.
Cop sense. That's what she told Castle whenever he tried to pull something on her, his early efforts to get her back for his birthday surprise. Cop sense. She could just tell.
It helps to have cop sense when two children live in your house, one of them oversized and the other too adorable for words.
She debates whether to push herself upright from here, just to test it out, or be cautious and roll to the side of the bed and put a leg down. Caution wins the days, and it's not nearly as painful as she expected. She still has that loose fuzzy feeling from the muscle relaxer, and getting to her feet is still a slow and laborious enterprise. Standing means staying bent over for a moment, taking a step to force herself into motion, and finally straightening her back as she gets to the bathroom.
Oh. No. No, she can't sit down yet. She's not calling in Castle to pull her pants down and hold her hands; she will just hold it.
It's fine.
Her change of direction is slow, but honestly the movement, the work of hips and thighs and knees and feet and ankles—it's helping too. By the time she gets to the door and twists the knob, careful not to twist her torso, she could say she feels better.
"Hey, you're up." Castle pokes his head out of Mia's room, grinning like a loon. "Perfect timing. Come see."
"Come see what."
"You'll just have to see."
"See, Mikey!" Mia tries to barrel around Castle but he's wise to her, scoops her up—is that pink tinsel in her hair—and swings her to his hip. "Mikey, see it. Pity."
"She's saying pretty."
"I know," Kate huffs. It's taking ages to get down the hall. Castle meets her just outside Mia's room and holds out his hand. She would rather not, but she takes his hand and doesn't let him draw her off balance nor tug her into his side; she holds her own—she has to—and slides inside Mia's room.
"Oh."
"See Mikey?"
Kate blinks, but the neon pink tree blinks with blue and white lights in front of one of Mia's windows—and it's not a muscle relaxer fever dream, is it? "Oh, wow."
"Ow, see Pop?"
"Just like Beyonce, I know."
"Beyonce?" she murmurs.
"Don't worry about it. Actually, well I did buy some inflatables, but they're close to the road—"
"Oh God, did you buy that Santa-zilla?"
"I plead the fifth."
"Seezilla?" Mia asks. "Mine, Mikey."
"Yours is very beautiful," Kate reassures, turning slowly and kissing Mia's outstretched hand. "Sorry, can't hold you right now. My back is still weak, baby."
"Weel weak?"
"Not too real weak," she promises. "Did you and Pops decorate your tree?"
"Mm, me and Pops."
"What's on the top of your tree, Mia?"
"Moana!"
Kate grins as she notes the wave-surfing Moana with her paddle, even the rooster Hei Hei beside her, pinned at the top of the tree. "I love it, Mia."
"And," Castle says.
She looks to him.
He pulls another ornament from his pocket, this one definitely not the heavy Keepsake ornament that adorns Mia's tree, but a cute roly-poly baby version of Moana, flower in her hair, that shell necklace. "Oh, that's—"
"Me!" Mia cries. "Me for pity."
"Oh yes, we need to hang that on our tree." It might be the only thing they hang, considering they still haven't put up ornaments on the big spruce in the living room. "That's our baby Mia; we need to see it everyday."
"Your baby," Mia says, hugging herself and leaning into Castle's chest. "Your baby Mia."
Kate swallows roughly, meets Castle's eyes. She can see how that hits him too, the sense that Mia has somehow needed to be claimed. All their careful tiptoeing around Alexis and what they call her and what Mia calls them, and instead they should have pressed her close and convinced her that some people stay.
"Yes," Kate says, kissing Mia's clasped fists. "My baby; you're my baby."
—-xxx—-