Okay, so I don't know how good these are turning out but because these are so self-indulgent and written for my own anxiety and soothing for me as well as venting how frustrating emotions can be through Keith in this fic (lol). But either way, to all my beautiful friends out there who are reading, thanks so much and I hope you enjoy it. Feel free to critique though. Even if these are self-indulgent, I'm always open to improving.

Keith held the folded letter in his hands. Allura, her cheeks a faint shade of pink had handed it to him just before he came back to the Blades after being surprised by a birthday party by his space family (they were certainly good at this whole planning a surprise thing). However, as he was leaving, she had given him this letter and requested he read it only when he was alone. What could it be that she could not have just told him directly? They had been friends long enough, after all.

He moved to lock the door to his room at Blade headquarters, just to make sure no one could come in and disturb him while he was reading the letter. He opened it, the neat handwriting making itself known to him.

Dear Keith,

Oh, that feels a little bit formal, doesn't it? We have been good friends for a fair bit, but letters normally do start off this way. I am uncertain where to begin. Things are changing – Lotor seems to want to genuinely help us and the way he speaks, I want to believe him – but something is pulling me back from really trusting him. I suppose after what Zarkon did, it may be a little bit natural, however if I am honest, that is not the only reason.

I was not able to put a name to it back then with my struggles due to you being part Galra, but every time that I think about trusting Lotor, of letting him in, your image flashes in the back of my mind. It makes me feel like I am making an error as if I am making a huge mistake. As if my heart is sinking. This all sounds rather strange even as I write it out so I will stop trying to logic it out as it has not seemed to work at all.

Keith. I have feelings for you. I am not sure what label to give them – but from what my heart says, they are feelings stronger than friendship, but I am uncertain if this letter would be considered a courtship. This was not something I wanted to just express to you in a casual conversation – it felt as if it would lose its meaning. I await your response whenever you visit again. Stay safe.

Allura

Keith stared at the words on the page, his cheeks turning red as he looked through it once more. She liked him? As more than a friend? When he literally had nothing more to offer her but his loyalty and staying by his side? Then again, the heart did make stupid decisions so maybe this was an emotional decision, one she would come to regret with time.

He frowned a bit. Wait, why was he even thinking about her decision and why she had chosen to like him? Did that mean he liked her back? He could feel his face flush even hotter. Well, it had stung deeply when she had rejected him for his bloodline, more than it should have but he had never given it much thought once she had apologised. The thought of her accepting him unconditionally did bring a warmth about in his heart – one he didn't realise he had.

I definitely can't give her an answer right now. He didn't even know what his own answer was – a part of him thinking of just rejecting her before things went anywhere and she ended up disappointed in him. Rejecting her would hurt less than her eventually rejecting him. But then why did his heart feel like someone had punched him when he thought about rejecting her? I'm only setting us both up to get hurt but then why can't I just tell her no and move on? Emotions were so complicated. There was not a yes or no answer or one direction to go in, like there was in piloting and that made the answer a lot harder to reach.

"Keith!" Kolivan's voice called out distracting and he jumped, quickly placing the letter inside his drawer, and locking it.

"I'm coming!" Keith called back, glancing back at the drawer. He couldn't keep the letter with him, but he didn't need to. The words were imprinted in his mind and heart, the conflicting thoughts revolving around his head, but he pushed them down. Not now. Time to focus on the mission.