Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters from the Inuyasha universe or any of the popular name brand apps, products, services, etc.

Chapter 5

Inuyasha awoke the next morning still clutching Kagome to his chest. She was pink again - pink and precious and clinging to him. Their legs were intertwined and her fingers were grasping at his shoulders, holding him tight.

He felt needed.

Fuck, it felt so nice to be needed by someone again.

Yeah...Akio had needed him. But this felt...well, it felt like a different kind of need...and he loved it. He felt…

Kagome sighed and nuzzled into his chest with her lips parting ever so slightly, and he smiled at her. Inuyasha found himself brushing her hair away from her face and behind the shell of her ear.

When he held Kagome like this, with her clinging to him, and him to her...it was so easy to pretend that she loved him. He missed being loved and...not alone. He knew that he had Akio, and he knew that he wasn't alone...and Kagome had been there for them both since the day Kikyo had passed...but…

He still felt lonely sometimes. He still had urges, as a man does...and he missed the intimacy that he had shared with Kikyo. He didn't just miss making love to her, although that he missed too...he missed the intimacy. Holding her tightly. Kissing her. Listening to her share her thoughts and feelings, and he doing the same.

That was the kind of intimacy he craved - the kind that came from loving someone and sharing your lives together.

Kagome's whole body tensed, and she buried her face further into his chest before sighing and wearily opening her eyes.

"I-Inuyasha?" Kagome murmured, her eyes slowly becoming more alert.

"Good morning," he grinned, holding a hand to her forehead. "You're a normal temperature again."

She smiled bashfully at him, her eyes flitting to his before fluttering away, her face becoming pained.

This again...was it him? Had he done something?

"How do you feel?" he pressed, and she swallowed hard.

"Better," she croaked. "Thank you for coming for me."

Inuyasha furrowed his brow and stroked the side of her face, and she cringed.

"Kagome? Is something wrong?"

She looked up at him in guilt before looking away again.

"Kagome…"

"We should get the boys," she replied, trying to avoid him as she moved out from the futon so that she could dress.

Logic told him to stay put. Logic told him that he should let her sort out whatever was going on in her mind on her own.

Unfortunately, he was not a logical man.

"Kagome," he tried again, moving the sheets aside and standing up. She gasped, holding her clothes to her body as she watched his almost nude form come towards her.

"Inuyasha!"

"Kagome, what's going on? Please," he begged, gently grabbing her shoulders. He could feel his ears lower and his eyes beseech her to tell him what was happening.

"Nothing."

"Did I do something?"

Her eyes pinched shut, and he watched her swallow hard.

"You've done nothing, Inuyasha."

"Then why won't you look at me?" he demanded, and she opened her eyes. He watched her draw them up his body, and he swore he saw desire followed by guilt in her gaze.

"I am," she confessed. "It's making me a trollop."

"W-what?" he sputtered, taking a step back from her. "Is it because of last night? If I hadn't, you would have died!"

"And it made me—" she stopped, forcing herself to say nothing else. Instead, she just turned away from him and began to dress. She kept her eyes down and away from him as she belted her yukata.

"You did nothing, Inuyasha. Nothing intentionally. I'm the harlot. I'm the one who…" she trailed off, swallowing hard. "My husband has been gone for a year, and what do I do on the anniversary of his death? I took pleasure in another man holding me."

"Kagome…"

"Please, Inuyasha. Let's just...can we just get the boys?"

"Not until you listen to me," he demanded, cupping her face and making her look at him. Watery blue eyes met his amber ones, and he gently rubbed her cheekbones with the pads of his thumbs. "Enjoying being held doesn't make you a harlot. Taking comfort from someone doesn't make you one either, Kagome. Yesterday was hard, and you're allowed to enjoy a hug now and then."

She opened her mouth as if to say more before closing it, biting her lip.

"You're right," she relented. "Can we bring the boys home now?"

He could sense there was more that she was withholding from him. He didn't know what or why, but he nodded and allowed the subject to drop.

"I think the birthday boy is hungry," Inuyasha mused, handing a fussing Kenji to Kagome.

Spring was here, and her little boy was twelve moons now and still eager to take her breast.

"Dinner smells good," Inuyasha complimented, watching as Kenji latched onto her breast. Kagome raised a brow at him. "Ours!" he amended, his eyes going wide. "Not his! Well...maybe his? I...the oden smells great, is what I meant."

She giggled and tweaked his ear, helping him relax.

"Calm down, Aibō. I know what you meant," she soothed, freeing a breast for Kenji. "I'm surprised you wanted oden, though."

"I like your oden," he shrugged. "Curry is a little spicy…"

"Hey!"

"I'm kidding! Mostly…"

"You'd better watch yourself, or else you're sleeping on the floor tonight," she cautioned, and he grinned cheekily.

"Don't think you'd miss me too much?"

"Not even a little," she huffed, but they both knew she was lying. She felt her heart restrict.

It was spring.

It was time to start having some hard conversations.

Kenji finished up his dinner and she handed him to Inuyasha, suddenly unable to look at him.

"Kagome?" he pressed, holding her son over his shoulder as Akio tugged at his father's haori. "What's wrong?"

There was no hiding anything from him, was there? She really didn't want to have this conversation now...not on Kenji's birthday. But the sooner the better, she realized.

"Inuyasha, spring is here," she began nervously, and he nodded his head.

"Yes...we should start preparing the garden for planting," he agreed. "And we can air out the futon, too - I think we're going to have good weather this week. Maybe we can start tomorrow?"

He looked so happy, raising her son over his head and placing warm kisses onto his belly. Why did he have to make this so hard? She didn't want him to go. She couldn't stand losing Akio, or the only father Kenji had ever known. The thought of losing Inuyasha was eating her alive, but she knew that's what he had wanted. This was never supposed to be permanent, no matter how much she now wanted it to be.

"We should, but...I was wondering if perhaps I should begin weaning Akio?"

Inuyasha lowered Kenji, suddenly looking wary.

"You haven't started with Kenji...is it time to wean Akio?" he asked cautiously.

Kagome swallowed hard and stirred the oden, avoiding looking at him. She couldn't. She'd beg him to stay if she did, and she didn't want to. It wasn't right to guilt him into staying and being Kenji's father, and pleading with him to allow her to be Akio's mother wasn't right either.

It was his right to leave, and Akio was old enough that, should Inuyasha desire it, he could be weaned so they wouldn't need her anymore.

"I think that if you plan to leave soon, it would be wise."

She could almost hear her heart beating in her chest as he sat silently across from her, his eyes trained on her son.

"When do you think we should leave?" he asked hesitantly, still refusing to look at her. It was breaking her heart.

"Whenever you wish to go. I know it will take time to build a new hut, and it may take longer to wean Akio..."

"So you want me to start right now?" he demanded. There was something in his tone that made her look up at him. A hardness had settled over his features, as if he were preparing to defend himself against a great foe.

In his eyes, she had become an enemy, and it broke her heart that much more.

"Only when you're ready - you know that you can stay here for as long as you like."

She watched his jaw twitch as he closed his eyes, as if he were trying to reign in his hurt and temper.

"If we're overstaying our welcome, I'd be happy to begin work tomorrow."

Tomorrow?

She felt faint.

"No!" she croaked. She hadn't thought that having this conversation would make him want to leave so soon! Her heart was pumping erratically in her chest, and she had to blink to try and make her world stop spinning for a moment.

She just wanted to have a plan and time to accept that he was leaving. She needed to try to prepare her heart for it. She didn't want him to leave - him or his son! She needed them! She needed them like air! They were her family, and she wanted them to stay with her for the rest of their days.

"I just...know that this was only meant to be temporary. I…" she took a deep breath, still trying to calm herself before confessing in a whisper, "I don't want you to go."

"Y-you don't?"

She pinched her eyes shut and shook her head to try to keep from crying.

"I like you here with me, Inuyasha. I don't want to lose you or Akio, but I know that was what we had always discussed. I know it's what you wanted when you came to us."

Inuyasha reached out and cupped her face, gently rubbing her cheek bone.

"Then why don't I stay until you decide it's time for me to go?"

His eyes were so sincere and filled with longing - this was his home now too, wasn't it? It wasn't just she who wanted them to stay. He wanted to be here with her too.

"What if I never want you to leave?" she breathed, her heart pounding in her throat from the real possibility that their small family wouldn't break up...that maybe he wanted to be Kenji's father and wanted her to be Akio's mother...

"Then we never will."

Kagome threw herself into Inuyasha's arms, burying her face into his neck as happy tears poured down her face. His hands came to rub her back as the boys looked on, not understanding what had just transpired between their parents.

"We will stay, Little Onna," he soothed, nuzzling the top of her head. "We will stay."

A/N: I did say I'd try to be more active with getting this one up! Thank you so much to everyone who has read and reviewed it so far, and I hope you enjoy the update!

The completed fic is available elsewhere - just hit up my tumblr for more details.

Until next time!

-LL