A.N: As a brief side note, Alix of Hesse (the mother of OTMA), had lost her father and mother at a young age. Her grandmother, Queen Victoria, took the role of her foster mother. This explains why Alix called Queen Victoria "Mother". OTMA will be a year older for plot reasons, as their parents court for two years from an earlier time.

June 21, 1892

(Alix of Hesse POV)

My foster mother and dear Grandmama, Queen Victoria of The British Empire, sat beside me in the reception room, decorated with Rococo designs upon the columned walls edged with stucco. White marble columns with royal crimson painted walls enclosed us in a familiar cozy yet exquisite interior. The room almost reminded me of home… a saddening place for me.

Papa had died not long ago. My other three sisters had moved away, including my elder sister Elizabeth. This left me alone at home with only the palace staff and relatives to look after me. My tears returned with another surge within, threatening to spill out. The lack of composure embarrassed me, and I feel discontent with myself. I grew more upset before the tears fell again. My Grandmama gave me a handkerchief, patting my right shoulder like my late mother once did.

It only increased the sorrow within my heart. All I had to temper the pain was the promise of deliverance by God. All I had was my dear faith. I had promised my late Papa that I would keep the Lutheran faith.

But if Nicky and I later married, would I have to break that promise?

I looked down at the tiled floor again, crossing my arms tight to my body. My Grandmama looked at me with her aged, wrinkly face crowned with wispy white hair. At the age of seventy-three, she had witnessed much and learned much. Again, I waited for another tidbit of wisdom from her, looking up into those drooping yet wise eyes.

"Everything will be well, my granddaughter. The one you love will arrive today, I am certain of that."

I wiped my eyes, sniffling. "Thank you, Mother. I believe that he will arrive as well as you do, but I feel terribly anxious… I have not seen him in person for four years!"

"You two are perfect together, and I always notice the love and devotion in your eyes everytime you both meet. There is not a reason to worry, my dear granddaughter."

I rested my head on her shoulder. Another short forever passed, and I grew weary. Before I drifted to sleep, an announcement by a Danish Royal Guard officer burst into my senses. Could it be?

"Make way for Duke Nicholas Alexandrovich of Russia!"

The very mention of dear Nicky's name brought an eagerness and life to me again! I sprung from the plush couch. I looked at the opening palace doors…

And there he was, dressed in a simple Russian officer uniform. The brass buttons glinted on the cyan blue fabric, decorated with a white sash. He was no Grand Duke of Russia any longer, but he still remained the prince of my heart. I had yearned to meet him face to face. Not through the dull, still words upon a letter!

Without a second thought, I bound over to him with quick steps. I could not wait any longer to be with him. To be held and accompanied by Nicky.

"Nicky!"

"Sunny!"

He bounded across the marble floors towards me, and we met in the tightest of embraces. I weeped into his arms as a slew of emotions overwhelmed me. The sadness from Papa's passing. The love I had for Nicky. The joy that welled up within me while I gazed into those warm blue eyes…

Nicky held me in his arms for what seemed like endless moments. In his warm, strong arms, I felt as if I had returned home. Home was where my heart laid, and it had become something new. A life with him.

Many had seen me as cold-hearted and shy in the most awkward of manners. My lowered head during ceremonies. My "stiff", almost wooden movements of the limbs. My "cold" stares. The barbs of criticism of everything I did was much to bear, and I remained alone amongst them. But with Nicky, I felt understood and loved.

Still, I knew that NIcky was no Grand Duke any longer. The twinge of disappointment within my mind almost made me feel guilty.

No!

Certainly, he was enough for me.

Faith, love, and humility. The promised man for a proper, devout princess such as myself, given by God. I felt it. I knew we were meant to be… but leaving the Lutheran faith worried me. What would Papa have said?

"Alix… are you well? How have things gone?" he asked, with a silky-soft tone, stroking my face with his hands.

"Oh, Nicky! It has been worrying, t- terrible!"

I sniffled, remembering my painful reality once again. My Papa was dead. Again, I was often alone at home in my Hessian palace. The sole comforter on Earth I had was my foster mother and Grandmama, Queen Victoria. I glanced back, seeing her get up to accompany us.

With a gentle motion of her right hand, the strong hand of an Empress, she dismisses the British guards out of the room. They marched out in straight lines, stepping in synchronized order like clockwork. And then we three were left in isolation to say what must be said. Much had transpired, so there was much to discuss…

How would I handle the details of my eventual union with Nicky? What would my family think? What would his family think?

Oh, how worried I was!

"How so?" Nicky asked again, looking into my eyes.

I wiped my eyes again. I looked up at him.

"My father is dead! My- my sisters have all been married and have departed with their husbands! And- And I have been terribly alone!"

Nicky went silent, instead gripping my hands in his. And we knew where we would find our strength within.

"I am sorry to hear that. But I promise you that I am here to stay with you."

Grandmama, who had listened without a word, spoke her mind. And her words held a good sign: a hint of her blessing.

"My little Alix, I have known you as a headstrong, devout noblewoman of a granddaughter. As much as it may sadden me, I am open to you leaving the nest to find a new life with your love. If you both find holy matrimony, you both have my blessing."

We both widened our eyes in surprise, even shock! I knew that grandmama supported me. But to support us both on the subject of holy matrimony so early? We had not yet begun courting!

Grandmama chuckled. "Relax, you two. I know that you two will make a fine pair."

My cheeks felt warmer, and this unfamiliar, giddy feeling stirred within me. Perhaps butterflies in the stomach, as some said? Oh, dear… what if I have had improper lusts for Nicky? God forgive me!

And I felt that the affair had been moving terribly hastily...

I took quick breaths, and my eyes teared up again.

The awkwardness and unfamiliarity of it all! A future I did not know! How could a lowly princess of the much hated Germany do this?

I burst into tears, and without a word I ran away. Down the corridor, and around a corner…

I heard footsteps pattering down the corridor towards me. Nicky had come to me, but I did not dare look at him. But my heart felt this tugging between two sides. To accept or deny?

"Are you alright? If not, please… tell me everything, what you truly feel."

And I looked up again into those soft Romanov blue eyes… and I allowed myself to open up to him. I spoke for what seemed like moments in a stumbling jumble of words, as I sat on the floor. My life felt like a jumble. Nothing seemed to have this order. And I had lost some of my senses. Perhaps from all the tragedy that seemed to follow me.

I spoke of my childhood tragedies. The death of my mother, Alice when I was a little girl. The death of my brother Henreich, a hemophiliac Prince of Hesse.

I spoke of my sisters, and how I missed them, especially my eldest sister Elizabeth. A few years prior, she had found love with a relative of Nicky's: Grand Duke Sergei of Russia. She had become another charitable, devout woman. One that I looked up to as a model spiritual sister.

When I had exhausted myself, I spent moments catching my breath. Already, I felt frail and faint from the breaths I had spent. But I had to speak my mind, to release my burdening pain away.

He held my hands again. He kissed my forehead with a quick peck. The tenderness of his touches softened me, and my breathing eased. The bound rope within me loosened. The tension had vanished.

I felt warm, safe.

"I gave it all up for us. My father was often disappointed in my competence and promise as heir, so he removed me from the line of succession. But this may be our blessing that we have been waiting for! Us, free and together!"

"I see… I agree with your view. I desire the same, Nicky. Just us together in a simple, happy life. That is all I want."

"I promise you, that no matter our suffering, I would hate to leave you. I love you, Alix, more than any other noble lady or princess."

Nicky sat beside me. Tears welled up again in both our eyes, and we drifted closer. And we met again in a shared embrace. Finally, we were in harmony.

And I knew things would be alright.

And Grandmama allowed us to court each other, leading to our marriage...

November 15, 1894

I shrieked on the bed, straining to birth our child. I did not know if I would live, or if our child would live. All I was aware of was the pain, aches, and faint voices of the midwives. The smell of blood. I felt tired, almost wanting to allow myself to faint…

"She's losing blood! Get the forceps!"

Cold metal claws touched the entrance to my womb.

They pulled, and I pushed as another horrid contraction ripped me apart. I cried out again. The pain ceased to be, and I almost drifted into unconsciousness. Until I heard a beautiful sound of our child crying for the first time.

"My child, I want to see him."

"A daughter, Your Highness," one midwife said, smiling at me.

She gave me our newborn daughter after wiping her with gentle care, removing the grime and blood. Finally cleaned, she was laid in my arms. She opened her little, narrow eyes, and wriggled her arms. Until she laid her eyes on mine, staring into mine…

The midwives called my husband inside the room where I had labored for countless hours…

"Mister Romanov, you have a daughter. A large one indeed!"

Nicky stepped to me, and he grinned. Soon, he sobbed, looking at our little girl as if she were the most precious diamond on earth! Our priceless little girl!

"God, bless this little girl of ours… May she grow into a great, devout lady of noble blood," I pray silently, looking above...

"Alix… we have a daughter!"

Our baby cooed at Nicky. How adorable, it seemed that we would have a daddy's little girl. Watching him allow her to grip his pinky with her little hands brought tears to my eyes, but not from any suffering at all.

"What shall we name her?"

"I remember my sister Olga fondly… I would like to name her after my sister."

"Of course, our blessed little girl," I replied…

And so, we coddled and cared for her through her first years within our Danish estate. A large house, but only the three of us lived there in the first two years. Yet there were more pleasant surprises to come.