Play 46: The Importance Of Realising Feelings

"I have something to ask you."

Souji's eyebrow raised questioningly, and I took that as an encouragement.

"Last night, you--"

I felt someone passed me, and I couldn't believe my eyes--was that Saito!?

Without thinking, I grabbed his hand, wanting to have a better look. It was Saito! I was elated. Was he back, deciding that the what's-his-name-again idiot was an imbecile?

"Saito!" I exclaimed in delight. "You're back!"

He quietly shifted his eyes at my grip on his wrist, and his face reddened ever so slightly. Astonished, I quickly let go, my own face flushed in embarrassment. Beside us, Souji looked at us, back and forth before he sighed in exasperation.

"Seems like I'm not needed here."

He began to leave, and my jaw dropped in surprise.

"Wait, I'm not done!" I gave Saito an apologetic glance, wondering if I should chase after Souji or stay with him.

"Go on ahead--I won't be leaving soon."

I thanked Saito and ran off after Souji, reminding myself to ask him about that what's-his-name-for-the-hundredth-time. I managed to catch hold of his sleeve just before he returned to the same room.

"I said I'm not done yet." I licked my lips, nervous.

Souji looked at me for a while. "Perhaps later," he said, and opened the door. I wanted to follow along, but he closed the door just before I could enter.

"Guess I'm not wanted," I mumbled to myself. During my stay with the Shinsengumi, they were really kind and nice, but I could never help but to feel that there were some distance between us. Harada, Nagakura and Heisuke never made me feel that way though.

Souji, especially, made me feel that he had deliberately distanced himself from me, ever since the previous night.

Maybe he realised that he was going to do something wrong.

Maybe he wanted to kiss me as a prank, and then later teased me about it.

Maybe he wanted to test these feelings of mine, whether they were true or not.

Maybe...maybe...

Just maybe...

He liked me too?

I felt so embarrassed at that thought--it made me sound so narcissistic. I slapped my face with both of my hands, telling myself to be more realistic. After all, there are no reasons why he would like me. All I did was to call him an idiot and whatsnot.

I sighed loudly, earning a few glances from passing soldiers as I strolled to my room. Really, come to think of it, I didn't do anything that deserved his feelings. I only remembered doing stupid and embarrassing things--like the one time I was in my room with the twins.

Those twins were disturbing me so much that I decided to just do what they asked, and when Souji opened the door to my room, he saw a laughing Jun on her back, crying and begging for Yuri and Eri to stop tickling her.

I was sure Okita Souji would want someone better. Like a beautiful woman, with a pair of big boobs and wide hips. I looked down at myself and sighed in disappointment.

Yup, so unworthy.

It was the next day when I was talking to Saito when I knew that Itou and his followers were going to take action against the Shinsengumi.

I couldn't believe my ears as he told me that news quietly. That idiot was going to do what? Expose the Shinsengumi about the Fury Corps?

Worst, he was planning to kill Kondou.

That Itou was seriously taking things way too far--he needed to be punished. I was beginning to think of some pranks to play on him when Saito, reading that mischievous expression on my face, informed me unhurriedly that the other men were already discussing on this issue.

"They want to get rid of him, am I right?" I asked after a pause and Saito nodded grimly. Clearing my throat, I tapped my chin casually. "Is that captain of first division involved in this?"

Saito sighed as if it was with great effort. "If you're talking about Souji, he will be staying here with me."

I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. That was good to hear--after all, I was sure that his cough was still giving him troubles.

Something popped in my mind. "Oh, how about Heisuke? Are you guys going to bring him back?"

"The other two intend to bring him back, but the commander will have him killed if he fights back." My jaw dropped, unsure if I heard Saito right. Did that mean that Heisuke would be in danger, the longer he stayed with the Guard?

The back of my head throbbed painfully, and I understood that I needed to keep my feelings in check. I knew I could go have a talk with Kondou about following them, but I was also worried about Souji. Saito and the others had no idea about his illness after all.

"I'll stay here." I nodded to myself , clenching my fists in determination. "I believe that Harada-san and Nagakura-san can bring Heisuke back in one piece."

After a moment of pleasant silence, Saito left, having some other business to attend to. I was left in the courtyard, swinging my legs as I sat on the wooden bench quietly.

On the night of the planned assassination, Yamazaki gathered us into the common room, leaving out the unwell Souji and the wounded Shimada. It turned out that the Satsuma appeared with the Shinsengumi were dealing with the Guard.

"We should go now!" I shot up from the floor, feeling tense. The other men, and Heisuke...They could be in danger if we didn't help out. Moreover, I should be fine with my succubus powers. As much as I would like to ask Yuri and Eri to help out, they were out in this particular night, searching for the right portal to get me home.

There was a sudden explosion outside, and before I could blink Shimada staggered into the room in a panic.

"We're under attack! It's a demon!"

Cursing under my breath, I rushed out even before anyone could say anything. As I turned to a junction, I bumped right into Kazama Chikage. I backed away immediately when I caught the strong smell of blood in the air. At every corner, there were bodies--sliced up and unmoving.

Yamazaki caught up to me and pulled me back so that he was between Chikage and me. "These are all men from the Fury Corps..." He glared at the nonchalent demon. "Did Kazama do this by himself?"

Sanan, coming into view, swung his sword at Chikage, who lazily blocked that attack. It was clear as the fight continued--Sanan, a fury, was no match for the real demon. Yamazaki unsheathed his sword and charged forward with Inoue close behind.

Why was this happening? Was it because of my presence? Was it because I was absorbing their life energy? Was that why the Shinsengumi had so much to deal with?

Dazed, I spun around, my legs running to wherever I could escape to. The bloody scene of dead bodies flashed in my mind even when I shut my eyes tightly, whimpering. Those furies--even though they were furies, they were still alive. The blood...the lifeless eyes staring blankly at me...

An image of the partially bloodstained Chikage smirking at me popped in my mind.

Would Sanan, Yamazaki and the others be okay?

What if they ended up like those dead furies--their necks cut open, the sickening sound of dripping blood...

I was scared--I wanted to hide away from everything. If only Souji...

"Souji!" My eyes shot open, and I panted loudly as I ran as fast as possible.

Yes, if I saw Souji, I would be okay, I was sure of it. My heart swelled--I wanted to see him so much--his presence was comforting, even if his personality infuriated me.

I wanted to see him. I wanted him to laugh at how scared I was. I wanted to see his smile and felt as if nothing would go wrong.

I was then I realised that I had underestimated my undeniable feelings for Souji.

I had always unknowingly looked forward to seeing him, hearing him, talking to him. I didn't only liked him--I loved him.

I loved Souji. I loved him very, very much.

I was screaming his name before I knew it, and then everything went black.