I own nothing but my own words.

Chapter One

Ryan remembered it like it was yesterday.

The day he met the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

But it wasn't yesterday.

It was a little over five years ago.

And he only ever spent one night with her.

One perfect night.

Before he fell asleep that night, he knew deep in his bones that she was the one.

But by the time he woke, she was gone.

He was alone in his hotel room.

She left him a note on the hotel stationary, but it wasn't the number he was hoping for.

It wasn't even a goodbye.

It was a 'thank you' letting him know she would never forget him and a request that he not try to find her.

She didn't want to see him again.

He didn't know how to begin searching for her even though he desperately wanted to.

Because of all the things she shared with him that night, she never once told him her name.

"I can't believe I finally found you after all these years."

Ryan held out his hand.

Landon reached to shake it with a smile.

"Well, when you contacted and said you were my long lost brother," Ryan said, returning the smile, "I couldn't believe it either. Have a seat, join me."

He motioned across the table, and Landon sat immediately.

"When I started looking for information about my birth parents and found out my father had been married to your mother before mine," Landon said, "I knew I had to find you."

"I'm sorry to hear about your mom, and, well, dad," Ryan finished with a shrug. "He was never really part of my life before he died. My mother didn't talk about him much when she was alive."

"I'm sorry about your mother too," Landon said.

"She passed away right before I started college," Ryan said, still feeling the sting to this day even though it happened over ten years ago. "It was hard, but it couldn't have been as hard as it was for you."

"They both died when I was a baby," Landon said. "So it wasn't really hard. I was adopted by a friend of my birth mother. I grew up with a good family. Mother, father, and even a brother. My mom is sorry she never knew about you. She served with Seylah but didn't know much about her husband. When no other family stepped forward, she and her husband—my dad—decided to keep me. They all want to meet you too, if you'd be interested."

"I wouldn't be opposed," Ryan agreed.

In fact, he was looking forward to learning everything there was to know about his brother. He was still shocked he had never been told he had one, but he wasn't sure his mother ever knew Landon existed. He would like to think she hadn't known because even though Landon wasn't her family, he was his.

"And maybe you'd like to meet the rest of my family too?" Landon said. "My wife and our son. My wife, she's the reason I went searching. She's an orphan too, but she lost her parents as a teenager. She thought it would be good for me to learn more about where I came from."

"I'll have to thank her then," Ryan nodded. "And your family is technically mine now too." It was strange to think he had gone from being completely alone in the world since his mother's death to now having more family than he had his entire life.

"It is," Landon reassured him.

"So, was there anything you wanted to ask me?" Ryan asked.

"Yes," Landon nodded, leaning forward. "I have plenty! But I wanted to ask before I forgot, you didn't know him, but did you have any photos of our father? Maybe ones your mother kept?"

"I'd have to look," Ryan said. "She probably has one somewhere. Maybe on a USB. I'll let you know if I find any."

"Great, thanks," Landon smiled. "You know, with the way people photograph everything nowadays, you'd think it'd be easier for me to find one. I know I haven't stopped taking photos of my son since he was born."

"I bet," Ryan said, feeling another slight sting though, again, it was one he was used to.

As a child, he contracted mumps before he was old enough for his second vaccine. He remembered his mother being so angry, she went on countless tirades about anti-vaxers and how their children probably spread the disease he picked up somewhere. It wasn't until he was a teenager he understood why she was so upset, mostly because she dragged him to a urologist since one of the side effects of mumps in males was infertility. She wanted to find out if that had happened to him and if anything could be done to reverse the effects.

It had, and there wasn't.

The chances were very slim he would ever have a child of his own. He made peace with it years ago, and he hoped if he ever found his mystery woman again, she wouldn't mind.

Though the realist in him knew he would never see her again and he would be better off hoping to find someone just as great or better than her. He didn't think that was possible though. He had tried but something was always lacking in any other woman he was with.

They just weren't her.

"You know," Landon said, bringing up his phone and wiping his finger across the screen to unlock it. "Now that I've met you, I can see our father's genes must've been stronger in you than me. My son definitely got his eyes from our Dad and clearly so did you."

Landon held out his screen to show him the wallpaper.

Ryan opened his mouth to respond, but his breath caught in his throat.

"See the eyes?" Landon said, when Ryan didn't reply.

Ryan nodded stiffly, trying to make sense of what he was seeing.

"How old is he?" Ryan asked.

"Four," Landon said proudly.

"And that's…" Ryan vaguely pointed in the direction of the screen, still feeling quite poleaxed.

"That's Hope," Landon said just as proudly.

Landon was wrong. Ryan didn't have their father's eyes, because that was the one feature he knew came from his mother. The dark brown color and the long thin shape with the slight squinting at the corners especially when he smiled, it was something his mother always commented on—how much she loved that he got her eyes.

The little boy in the photo had Ryan's mother's eyes, not the wide circular shaped hazel eyes of Landon.

Just like the little boy in the photo had his mother's dark auburn curls.

Hope.

His sister-in-law's name was Hope.

"How long have you been married?" he asked hoarsely, having to clear his throat afterwards.

"Seven years," Landon replied.

And his sister-in-law had cheated on her husband, his brother, five years ago.

With him.

Hope.

Hope was the name of his mystery woman.

And the boy in that picture?

That was his son.

One week later

"I'll be back in town tomorrow," Landon said through the speaker. "You can meet everyone then."

"Can't wait," Ryan said with forced enthusiasm.

Ending the call, he kept his eyes trained on the large house in front of him.

Their home.

Her home.

She lived there, with his brother, and their son.

In any other circumstance, he would have felt like a total creeper. But he wasn't there to stalk her. He was there because he was supposed to meet her for the first time tomorrow, and she had to know.

And he needed to know.

He needed to hear from her mouth what happened. He didn't know anything.

Maybe five years ago she and his brother were having a rough patch. Maybe they were separated when she met Ryan and they made up afterwards. Maybe she found out she was pregnant and didn't know how to find him, so she let her husband think the child was his. Maybe she hadn't gone back to the hotel to see if he left any clues to his identity.

If she had, she would have found him immediately since he left his information at the front desk. It was a bit eccentric, but he was desperate at the time.

And maybe he still was.

He couldn't decide what to do, and it was killing him.

He always wanted a brother and now he had one, but there was a very real chance he would lose him if he told the truth.

And if he didn't tell the truth, not only would his entire relationship with his brother be based on a lie, but he would also be forced to watch his own son grow up calling someone else Father.

He couldn't do that.

He knew he couldn't do it.

But he still considered it.

The irony of the situation wasn't lost on him.

It was a small world after all.

A truck drove into their driveway next to the parked white SUV.

A tall man stepped out and the front door opened as the newcomer strode up the walk.

Three feet of pure joy raced out of the house and headed straight for the man.

"Uncle Raf!"

Ryan stared unblinking at the boy, as if blinking would make him disappear. The smile lit up his little face. He definitely looked like a perfect mix of himself and Hope.

"Hey, buddy," the man stooped and picked up the boy. "Ready to spend the afternoon with me?"

"Can we bounce!?"

"Yes," Rafael said, rubbing his nephew's head. "As much as you want once we get there."

"Taking him to the adventure park again?" Hope asked, walking out of the house with a smile.

From across the street, Ryan's breath caught.

He was seeing her in the flesh for the first time in five years, and she was just as beautiful as the first time he saw her.

With his window cracked, he couldn't hear all of their conversation, but he heard enough to know the man must be Landon's other brother, the one he grew up with, and that the boy was leaving with his uncle.

That was good.

It would make it easier for him to talk to Hope without the boy distracting him, or her.

Watching his son buckled into a booster seat and the truck driving away, a strange feeling washed over him. That feeling of something that was his being torn away, he never felt like that before. It almost made him want to drive off after them.

But that wouldn't solve anything, except to make him really seem that creepy.

Even showing up at her front door was a risk. He didn't want to scare her before he told her who he was. But he had to talk to her. Tomorrow would be too late to make a decision. It had to be done today.

Or, maybe not, he groaned inside when she left the house a minute later, locking the door behind her.

She climbed into the white SUV and backed out of the driveway.

He didn't allow himself time to think before he made a u-turn in the middle of the street and followed her.

Keeping his distance—and feeling very much like an idiot—he followed her to a professional office building about twenty minutes away from their home. The building was one of those that housed any number of different types of businesses.

After careful consideration, he decided to park near her but he wouldn't get out of his car until she headed back to hers. That way he could call out to her without approaching. They were still in the middle of a parking lot and, even though it was broad daylight, he didn't want to scare her.

Fifteen minute later, he was debating whether to go back to her house and wait for her to come home. Waiting for her in a parking lot was bordering on stalking. Though waiting at her house was probably just as creepy.

She had his son though. It may be unsavory if he was following her because he happened to sleep with her before, but since he had a very pressing matter to discuss with her it didn't matter if his waiting was perceived negatively.

He needed to know his son. And he needed to figure out what to tell his brother.

In order to do either of those things, he had to talk to her.

Still… he would only give it ten more minutes then try to catch her at her house later.

Seven minutes later, she finally made her way back through the sliding glass doors.

He made a concentrated effort to take his time climbing out of his vehicle, trying to make it look as natural as possible.

Twenty two minutes after parking, he still wasn't sure how to start this conversation.

As he closed his door and slowly made his way around, he looked in her direction.

She saw him.

At first she gave a friendly nod in greeting, like she would do to anyone in passing on the street.

Then she did a double take, turning back to look at him sharply.

Words didn't come, but he took a deep breath and gave a slight wave when he saw the recognition on her face.

At least she told the truth about that. She did say in her letter she would always remember him.

What she did next though, that shocked him.

She threw herself in his arms and kissed him.

And, God help him, he kissed her back.

Electricity sparked between them, just like it had five years ago. Kissing her was every bit as incredible as he remembered.

Suddenly he found himself being pressed against the side of his car, and she practically melted against him, as if she were trying to get as close to him as humanly possible. He felt a sense of urgency and relief beneath the hunger that confused him but he quickly brushed the thought aside.

Forgetting everything else, he reached around and tugged her against him, feeling the way her body and curves still fit perfectly against his.

She deepened the kiss and he responded to the passion he could feel in her, running one hand down to clutch at her ass as his other hand wrapped around the back of her head, tangling through her hair as he gripped her firmly in place.

His senses were overwhelmed with the taste and feel of her, and his thoughts were only focused on one thing.

More.

And then she said it.

"Let's get out of here," she gasped against his lips, gripping her hands in the front of his shirt. "The same place. It's not far."

The same place.

She wanted to go to the same place they went last time.

His hotel room where he opened himself up to her, practically worshiped her, gave her everything he had to give—gave her more than he even thought he had to give—and then she left him.

To return home to his brother.

"No," he said, tearing his mouth away from hers. He couldn't back away because he was plastered against the car. His only option was to put his hands on her shoulders and try to get her to back away from him.

"You don't want to?" she asked, looking at him in confusion.

"No," he shook his head.

"Okay…" she finally stepped back, leaving an acceptable distance between them. "I'm… sorry, I guess. I probably shouldn't have kissed you, but since you kissed me back, I just thought…"

"I shouldn't have done that," he said, crossing his arms over his chest because he wasn't entirely sure he trusted himself not to pull her into his arms again.

"Are you with someone?" she asked softly.

He couldn't help himself.

"Am I with someone?" he scoffed, aware that his anger was seeping through.

He didn't want to respond in anger before he learned the truth but this was different. His brother just waved a picture of his happy family in his face proudly. Landon wouldn't have acted that way if things weren't going well with his wife.

Glancing down, he saw exactly what he was looking for.

He reached out and grabbed her left hand, tugging it up between them. He very obviously showed off her ring finger. That gold band definitely hadn't been there the last time he saw her.

"What about you!?" he nearly spat out the words.

Her face flushed and she yanked her hand away.

"Sorry," she said, looking away. "My mistake."

She backed off and started back to her car.

"Oh, no you don't," he said, moving quickly to get in front of her and stop her. "I need to talk to you."

"I don't think there's anything left to say," she said, backing away from him. "Last time was supposed to be a one time thing. I should've left it that way."

"Just how often do you have these one-time-things," he said suspiciously, suddenly wondering if stepping out on her marriage was a regular occurrence. Was it any wonder he was the one who ended up lucky enough to be the father of her kid?

She glared daggers at him. "Get out of my way."

Great, he didn't mean to offend her but that look on her face said he had. And even if it were true, it wasn't any of his business.

But the boy was.

"I didn't mean that," he said. "I apologize. But I really do need to talk to you."

"And I need to go," she said as she walked around him.

She was moving cautiously, as if she expected him to attack her and that was the last thing he wanted her to think.

He backed away, giving her as much space as she needed, but he couldn't let her go without telling her the most important thing.

"You never found out my name," he said.

"Because I didn't want to know," she said, pressing the button on her key fob to unlock her door. "It's not important."

"It kind of is," he said. "My name is Ryan Clarke."

She started pulling her door open when his words registered. She let go of the door handle and turned around, her jaw dropping in shock and dawning horror.

"I'm Landon's brother."

She shook her head in denial, as if that would make it untrue.

"And your son has my mother's eyes," he pushed on to the true heart of the matter.

Because sleeping with his brother's wife five years ago, he could let that go.

Realizing his dream woman would never be his, he could swallow that jagged pill as well. He had been doing that long enough.

But the rest… there was no way he could look past it.

"Your son, he's mine," he said. "And we need to talk about how we're going to tell Landon. Then we need to talk about what to do next. Because I may have missed the first four years, but I'm not missing anything else."

Her hands were shaking and he really wished he could make it easier for her, but she did this. She did this to all of them.

"Wh-what do you want?" she finally managed to ask.

"For starters, I'd like to know his name."

She ran.

She looked into Ryan's eyes, saw the pain and anger and lingering desire for her that he was probably fighting as much as she was since he put a stop to their reunion, and she ran.

She didn't answer any of his questions, and she didn't tell him their son's name.

Instead, she grabbed the door handle again, climbed into the vehicle, slammed the door shut, and started the car while he was right outside the window staring morosely at her.

Putting the car into drive, she tore out of the parking lot and drove.

She didn't know where she was going, just anywhere but there.

How could this be possible?

Of all the people in the world, how did she end up sleeping with her husband's long lost brother all those years ago?

More importantly, why didn't she just deny his words? All she had to do was tell him he was wrong, that those eyes came from her side of the family.

…Deny that she wasn't reminded of him so many times when she looked into her son's eyes.

Running was probably the stupidest thing she could have done. Ryan was invited to dinner at their house tomorrow. Her next stop was supposed to be the grocery store to pick up everything she needed for the extra special dinner. Landon was out of town all week, but he made sure to remind her a few times—as if she could forget.

She was the one who pushed for this.

Sometimes she was too stubborn for her own good.

But the best thing to ever happen to her was borne of that same stubbornness, so she couldn't think of it as too much of a flaw.

She always hoped he—Ryan, now that she knew his name—would come back into her life one day.

Just not now.

Not yet.

To be continued…