The lights were off when Leia walked in, but she could tell she was not alone.

"Kaydel?" she said quietly.

There was a sniffling sound and the rasp of fabric on durasteel, and then the room's glowpanels clicked on, filling the small office with soft illumination. Kaydel left them on their lowest setting, possibly out of a desire to not blind them both with a sudden burst of light-but more likely because she thought that in the dimness, Leia wouldn't be able to tell that she'd been crying.

Of course Leia could tell. That was why she was here.

"Are you all right, dear?"

"Yes, general," Kaydel said quickly. "What do you need?"

"Nothing." Leia shook her head. "What do you need?"

The young woman opened her mouth, clearly intending to bark out some negative assuring her commanding officer that she was fine and in need of nothing-and then she paused, the lie stuck in her throat.

Leia walked over and seated herself on the bench where Kaydel had been crying. She patted the cushion beside her. "Join me," Leia said, an invitation rather than an order. "Tell me what's wrong."

Kaydel sat immediately, ever the loyal and obedient soldier even when her commander wasn't commanding her. The second not-quite-command was harder to follow, though. She laced her fingers together and tugged on them, stared at her knees, worked her jaw as though testing and discarding various speeches.

Leia waited patiently, letting her work through things at her own pace.

After a while, Kaydel said softy, "I'm pregnant."

Leia nodded; said nothing.

"I...I thought...I want to have kids, I do," Kaydel continued. The words didn't exactly gush out of her, but now that she had breached the subject they tumbled free, as unstoppable as they were hesitating. "I thought now was a good time, a great time. Well, maybe not a great time, but - good enough, I guess. You know…"

Leia nodded again, because she did. "Things were tense but stable for a while," she said. "A good long while, really. It was a good time for building families." She smirked. "It worked for Han and I, anyway."

Kaydel grinned, then sobered. "Yeah," she said. "But then…"

"The First Order escalated things," Leia said for her, since the words seemed to be difficult to say. "We went from being in a political standoff, trying to convince our allies to take the danger seriously, preparing for the worst in case it happened, to the brink of actual and imminent war."

It was Kaydel's turn to nod. "Exactly," she said. "And I don't...I don't want to bring a kid into that, I don't. And I don't want to take the time it would take to raise them right away from the fight, and I definitely don't want to neglect them to do my duties, and...there's just no way to do it right, right now."

Leia smiled. "And if you can't do it right, you don't want to do it at all. Right?"

Kaydel's cheeks colored. "Right," she admitted.

Leia patted the perfectionist young lieutenant on the shoulder. "So what's wrong?"

Kaydel turned troubled eyes on her general. "If I want kids...shouldn't I go ahead and have the baby anyway? Even if it's the wrong time, even if I don't think I can handle it right now? Even if it ruins everything else I'm trying to do?"

"Maybe," Leia said noncommittally. "Sometimes people spend so much time waiting for 'the perfect time' that they miss their chance to do what they really wanted."

Kaydel tapped her fingers on her knees thoughtfully. "I don't want to fall into that trap," she admitted. "I know I can be a little...particular. Over-thinking things, getting so caught-up in what-ifs that I don't act when I should. I've been working on that, but I still do it sometimes...and I could die tomorrow. I know that. This could be my only chance to have a kid..." She hesitated, then said, "But I could also die seven months from now, abandoning them out there all alone. That would be worse than never."

Leia wrapped an arm around Kaydel's shoulders and squeezed. "You know we would take care of your child, if that happened," she said. "You have so many friends here-family-and we take care of our own. You know we would."

"I do know," Kaydel said. Hers would not be the first child to be raised by the Resistance-or the Rebel Alliance before it. She cleared her throat against a sudden hoarseness. "But that's what I mean, I guess. Anything could happen tomorrow. Anything. Good or bad. So how do I know if what I'm doing today will be what I'll be glad I did later?" she asked, her voice more of a plea than a question, begging her general to do what Leia did so well on the battlefield and point her people to the right answer.

Leia shook her head. "You can't," she said gently. "And that's not a call I can make for you, either. But if it helps any, I have been where you are now."

"Really?" said Kaydel, her eyes going wide.

Leia's smile was wry. "I don't know why you kids keep insisting on convincing yourselves that I'm some perfect tactical genius who's never struggled with an uncertain call or had to deal with the messy reality of living that everybody else goes through. You all know better."

Kaydel's smile was sheepish. "I guess," she said. "It's just...hard to see that, when we look at you now."

Leia snorted and shook her head. "Well," she said tartly, "I've faced a lot of hard choices, and while deciding whether or not to have a child the first time I was pregnant is certainly far from the top of the list, it felt pretty tough at the time. Everything was so uncertain back then. Han and I hadn't even filed our official marriage documentation yet - hard to do that when you've just toppled the galaxy's main government and are still in the process of putting a new one together," she explained drily. "I was so busy - we all were - but I thought, maybe this is the time. Maybe I should just struggle through and find a way to make it work. My parents had been handed me right as the Old Republic was collapsing into the Empire and they were scrambling to put together the first steps of what would eventually grow to be the Rebel Alliance, and they did all right…"

"But?"

"But I realized that it wasn't the same situation. They hadn't had the same choice I did, I was already there and in need of a home. And they'd had a home to offer, that's why they'd taken me. A safe, secure, stable place on Alderaan - a palace, no less," she snorted, "although that wasn't the important part. What mattered was that they had a home. We hadn't even settled on whether Coruscant was going to remain the galactic capital or not. Our home was the Falcon shuttling us back and forth between warships - when it wasn't grounded for repairs again, anyway."

Kaydel managed to turn her laugh into a cough. Leia smirked knowingly, but did not comment.

Instead, she continued with her comparison: "And while building a Rebellion in the shadows of Palpatine's gaze was dangerous and could have gotten us all killed, it wasn't the same as the overwhelming sudden scramble Han and I were in the midst of, trying to literally transform an illegal underground militia into a galaxy-wide system of government. Mom and dad hadn't had to stretch all that much to balance spending time with me against their duties to the fledgling Rebellion. And even if it had been the same situation, I still wasn't them. Everybody has to make their own choices for themselves, we can't try and pretend we're other people. And if I'd had a child back then…" She shook her head over the possibility of the path not taken, but there was no trace of regret on her lined and lovely face as she said, "No. There's no way I could have done it without neglecting something. Maybe everything. It just didn't feel right."

Kaydel nodded. "That's the same as me - I mean, I don't mean that I'm anywhere near as busy or important as you were," she hurriedly corrected herself mid-sentence, "that's not what I meant, but-"

"Everyone's important, Kaydel," Leia interrupted her. "Everyone's choices, everyone's circumstances, they all matter just the same."

Kaydel ducked her head apologetically. "Sorry. I know. I mean-"

"Just because you're helping to run a quasi-legal militia instead of trying to draft laws and negotiate treaties to form a new government doesn't mean what you're doing isn't important, is that what you're saying?" Leia suggested. She smirked. "Given that it's my militia you're helping to run, I'm glad to hear you feel that way."

Kaydel laughed. "All right, sorry, yes. I didn't mean it like. I meant..."

Leia let her off the hook. "It doesn't feel right, that's what you're saying."

Kaydel nodded. "Yes," she said. She shook her head. "It doesn't. I want kids but...not right now."

"And that's okay." Leia squeezed her shoulders. "It's a tough call," she said kindly. "None of us can see the future - not even Luke, not really, not in any way that really helps. So we have no way of knowing if we're making the right choice or the wrong one when we decide to bring a new life into the galaxy - or any time we do anything at all."

Kaydel nodded, her face serious. She understood that as much as Leia was talking about her decision now, she was also talking about the formation of the Resistance and its fight against the First Order-and about the rest of the galaxy beyond them, too. About every being and every choice they ever had to make, never knowing what the end result would really be and having to do their best anyway.

"We do what feels right when it feels right, and hope that whatever happens later doesn't make us wish we'd done it differently," she summarized.

Leia smiled at her. "That's all we can do."

They sat in silence for a while, not rushing things. Kaydel stared at the shelves of datacards and boxes and family holos that lined the wall of Leia's office. Eventually she nodded, more to herself than to her general.

"This doesn't feel right, not right now," Kaydel said. It felt like a weight was lifting off her shoulders, clarity spilling out like kyber crystals to dispel the twisting shadows of uncertainty. "So I won't. Thank you, general."

Leia smiled again. "Of course, Kaydel," she said. "I'm always happy to help my people."

"And everybody else in the galaxy," Kaydel pointed-out.

Leia snorted. "Fair enough," she allowed and sighed. "All right, I guess I'd better get back to work. Unless you want someone to walk with you to the med droids?"

Kaydel hesitated.

"I don't mind," Leia said gently. "There's nothing I have to do right now that can't wait an hour. And I'd be honored to give you company, if you want it."

Kaydel sagged against her. "Thank you, general."

Leia wrapped her arms around the young woman in a warm hug. "Of course, Kaydel," she said again. "Always."

Kaydel let herself sink into the embrace, taking comfort in the steadiness and compassion of her beloved mentor as she let go of one path for the future and embraced another.

Then she stood up and offered her hand to Leia. "Okay," she said. "I'm ready."

They walked out together, pausing to glance in and smile at the room where Leia's twelve-year-old twins were practicing their meditation with their Uncle Luke and the rest of his younger students. Han sat in a corner, pretending to read a data-mag but really shooting glances at his kids and his lifedebt-nephew as they worked, waiting for the day's training to be over so he could take them up for a promised piloting lesson in the Falcon after.

The sight filled Kaydel with confidence. The First Order was strong and well-equipped and deadly, but it didn't have any Force Users on its side. Most of the galaxy considered Skywalker's Jedi Order to be nothing but a bunch of idealistic fools passing off petty parlor tricks as a pretense of power. Those in the Resistance knew differently. They knew that the Jedi were a beacon of hope as bright and as strong as a lightsaber blade. They were the spark that had ignited the Resistance against the threat of the First Order, and together they would burn its tyranny down.

Luke must have sensed the two women passing because he looked up from his meditation as they crossed the doorway. He caught Kaydel's eye and smiled at her, clearly pleased to now sense calm resolution radiating from her where before there had been only confusion and distress. (Everyone in the Resistance had had to learn to accept the fact that Luke Skywalker always knew what they were feeling, no matter how guarded they thought they were being. Sometimes it was an annoyance, but mostly Kaydel considered it a comfort. It was nice to know that whatever you were going through, there was always at least one person who partially understood.) Then he nodded at his sister and looked away, clapping his hands to draw his students out of their lesson.

"All right, apprentices, focus. Now, who had a vision? Anyone? Lowbacca, go ahead…"

The cheerful rumbling of the young Wookiee Jedi as he described what he had seen in the Force faded behind them as Kaydel and Leia made their way to the base's medical bay. A bright-eyed medical droid turned to face them as they entered.

"Ah, general, lieutenant," it said, nodding cheerfully to the two women. "Welcome. Please, come in. What can I do for you both today?"

"Thanks, two-sixty-five," Leia said, "but I'm just here as emotional support today. Kaydel's the patient."

The droid turned its warm optical sensors to the younger woman. "Indeed. And have you come to a decision, Lieutenant Connix? Will it be a check-up today, or a procedure?"

"Procedure," Kaydel said. Her voice was firm and clear, her doubts all dispelled. "I don't think the time is right to become a mother just yet."

"As you wish, mistress," said the droid amiably. "Please, follow me. Make yourself comfortable over there while I prepare the abortifacient."

"Thank you," Kaydel said and walked over to the plush chair the droid indicated. She sat down, Leia at her side. A wide transparisteel skylight overhead let in a great swath of sunlight and Kaydel looked up, smiling at the distant rustle of trees and the sight of a bright X-Wing arcing above them. If she lived through this war, someday she would have a child to raise and introduce to the sights of beautiful worlds like that, maybe even to snubfighters and the piloting thereof. But she had other things to do first, like defeating the First Order. When the galaxy was safe, then it would be time for children and motherhood and building a family with the people she loved.

Kaydel Ko Connix was no Force Sensitive, but she didn't need to be. She didn't need a vision of the future to know that this was the right choice for today.

Tomorrow...well, that was a different matter. And whatever struggles it took to get there, she knew that she would meet it with joy when it came. That was the promise of the Resistance, after all: a better future for the whole galaxy.

Kaydel couldn't wait to see it.

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I've been asked who the father is. Because there's no way for me to post a public response to a review on FFNet, and since it occurs to me that there may be other people curious, I thought I should share my answer here for everyone:

I don't know. Maybe there isn't one; maybe there's more than one. Maybe it's another mom or moms, or a non-gendered or multi-gendered partner. Maybe Kaydel decided to get herself artificially inseminated by the same med droid she went to see at the end of the story. Maybe she had a lover who died in the initial clash with the First Order; maybe it was a platonic friend doing her a favor. Maybe it was done deliberately or maybe it was an accident that seemed fortuitous until the war started. I left the identity (or identities) of the other party (or if there even is one) open for the reader to apply their own favorite ship or ships as they chose since it's not really an applicable part of this story. So I suppose the answer is: who do YOU want it to be?

Feel free to leave your thoughts in a review, or even to write a companion piece centered on that if you want. That would actually be really cool. Let me know if you do and I'll post links to them all!