Disclaimer: I do NOT own Hakuouki or anything related to it.
"You have to know what you stand for, not just what you stand against."
— Laurie Halse Anderson (Speak)
Chizuru was unsure what to make of Jun. Their interactions in the past were not special, though he was a somewhat frequent patient for battle wounds, he was nonetheless any other patient whose name she obligated herself to remember. If not for his bonds with Katamitsu and Shigemori, she probably would not have noticed him as more than that.
She wondered if he was thinking similarly of her.
Saying he unnerved her would mean nothing. The Water of Life and Fury Corp. in general unnerved her, but that was because of her feelings for her father's abandonment.
So what was it about him that confounded her?
Then the answer occurred to her.
Jun was just there. He was a blank slot, void of personality as far as her eyes could see. Not a mysteriousness like what Sanan exuded, simply an existence blending into the clouds.
He did not scare her, yet she could not say she was desperate to be close. Maybe it was a result of him blending in so well, and maybe because she understood. She preferred to blend in too. That did not mean she hungered for isolation, she simply preferred quietude for as much and long as necessary to avoid unnecessary tax.
Even so, he must have experienced something extreme for it to sink to these levels. Had he been trapped as a child too? Confused about the world and dreading answers? She longed for answers, while he could be fearing them. There must be more to his fear than present events.
She bit her thumbnail.
Again she did not despair over avoiding him. She figured that he would share this feeling, regardless of if he was aware of hers.
She nodded in self-affirmation.
She would not dream of forcing her presence on someone, also figuring that this spacial respect had to an extent allowed Katamitsu and Shigemori to connect well with Jun.
And if Chizuru were to ever connect with Jun...Well, that did not matter. Establishing this peace between them was what mattered. For whatever reason, she suspected it would be easiest for him to have this with her.
With that in mind, she went to his quarters two nights after his freedom from the cell. It as much to check on him as to get this out of the way.
Due to his weak mobility brought on by months of mental and physical languidness in a cage, Jun had required Katamitsu's assistance to get to his feet and would take days to relearn using his legs. As such, he was not considered a threat, conflicts with Souji aside, he was as dedicated to saving the Furies as Katamitsu, Sanan, and herself.
What she remembered of Arimasa and Shigemori assured her this would the case for them.
That said, those two were not quite ready for freedom. They needed more time to be...tamed, for lack of a better word. They were released from their chains and allowed to move freely within the cell with daily visits from Katamitsu, Sanan, eventually Jun, and everybody else. Katamitsu's presence consoled them, and with this support they would ensure a cycle of recuperation for the Furies in general.
Despite the gravity of these times, Chizuru hid a smile. Hope should never be lost; she made it her mission in life to spread hope for those in need. No better time than now, when it was most needed.
Taking a breath, Chizuru tapped her fingertips on the door.
After a moment, a quiet voice uttered,"Come in."
Chizuru straightened her posture, slid the shoji open, and stepped inside. She slid it closed behind her before turning her attention to Jun.
Jun was sitting on his cot and sorting through a box of his things that had been returned to him. A simple activity to keep his mind busy and avoid strain on his body in a healthy manner.
Katamitsu had offered to assist in reorganizing; Jun had scoffed in refusal of the offer. According to him, the shopkeeper's understanding of organization was so intense that Jun would have an easier time findings something he needed after it was thrown around the room than in the aftermath of Katamitsu figuratively gluing it together and forcing Jun to pry whatever object he was searching for from the depths of a pile.
Katamitsu's face had flushed at the accusations. Sanan had pretended to be deeply invested in his notebook so as to hide his smirk. Had Chizuru not been sitting beside him, she might not have noticed that.
Jun paused what he was doing and raised an eyebrow when he recognized his visitor. His expression was an odd mixture of curiosity and indifference.
Chizuru folded her hands in front of her."I wanted to see how you were-"
"Uh huh," Jun's blunt and sarcastic voice interrupted her. His voice was mostly normal, the raspiness from two days prior gone, and he preferred a softer pitch to avoid strain.
He talked plenty, just not loudly. This made his current utterance's sarcasm easier to notice.
Chizuru blinked."If you don't believe me-"
"If?" he interrupted her a second time. Less mocking now. Still there, of course. Just less obvious.
Chizuru blinked again. She swallowed thickly."I mean it," she spoke firmly."It's connected to why I want to talk to you."
Jun took a moment to study her. He pursed his lips and dipped his chin."Out with it then. I don't need nor want pleasantries."
Nodding, Chizuru sat down a few feet in front of him. He moved his box aside to give her his full attention.
"You don't have to trust me," she began."Or the others, for that matter."
"Katamitsu would disagree," he disinterestedly remarked, shrugging one shoulder."He insists that you're trustworthy, lest you misheard."
Chizuru blinked, caught off guard by the revelation, or reminder she should say. As she took a second to ponder it, she recalled Katamitsu telling Jun exactly that. Katamitsu had been open and nice to her since the start.
"I suppose I can understand why he thinks so," he admitted."But he's misjudged people worthy of trust before." A layer of protectiveness underlied his voice."I don't call him an idiot for no reason," he added dryly.
Jun crossed his arms. He looked her up and down; she stiffened at his cold inspection, beginning to think she made a mistake coming here.
"Well," he let out a breath."I think I'm beginning to realize why you're here."
Chizuru quickly tried to explain, but she was not halfway done opening her mouth when he went on,"You wish to clear your conscience." He shrugged one shoulder."Why you would wish that is beyond me." He snorted."Maybe you enjoy being the victim, having an excuse to be-"
Chizuru lost her patience then, becoming upset for the first time since this conversation had begun."We told you that I-"
Jun leaned forward simply for the pleasure of scoffing in her face. She fell back in alarm and started to crawl away backwards. He was standing now and nonchalantly taking steps forward while his arms were still crossed over his chest. Being on his feet was clearly difficult, but he endured it for as long as it would take to make his point.
His casual menace reminded her a little bit of Sanan, but again he possessed none of the aura that attracted her to the Fury leader.
"How long did that decision take you?" He inclined his head."I'm certain it never crossed your mind before." He scoffed once more."You're a puppet, you've known it from day 1 and enjoy it." He took a step forward, and she made another backward movement."You have no backbone, you want to find your father so badly so that you can go back to being his puppet." He casually waved his hand."Really, it's no wonder Okita likes you, he knows a fellow puppet when he sees one, or that weak excuse for a colonel too." He sighed with a strange mixture of indifference and satisfaction."Oh dear, am I scaring you? I would have assumed you enjoy being scared. You certainly seem to like it when the colonel scares you." She turned her head to the side in an unsuccessful attempt to hide her blush. He arched an eyebrow."Quite a glutton for punishment, aren't you? Frankly, I'd say all of our precious superiors around here are, but you're such an easy fit for that title they can comfort themselves by using you as a cushion, and they want to use the rest of us that way." He scoffed and waved an arm to the side as if pretending to smack the idea of them aside."Cowards, the lot of you, and nothing you try to do will change this." He scowled."Katamitsu may trust you, but I never will."
Reaching out, he gripped the back of her shirt and firmly but carefully guided her to the exit, depositing her on the hallway floor like a tiny toy."Run along now," he said. She let out a soft squeak and drew her head back as he practically slammed the shoji closed in her face.
Chizuru made a mental note to, for the sake of fragile piece, to not tell anyone of this. Jun would probably take more reason to react from that if she did.
With that, she sighed and decided to call it a night, unable to shake the guilt that maybe he hadn't entirely been wrong.