Chapter Seventeen - I guess this means we're fucked

.

They stop at a small motel on the interstate sometime later. Sam leaves them alone for a few minutes while he goes to get them a room, and Andy can barely stand the awkward silence between herself and Dean. Thankfully, just as he starts speaking, Sam returns, and any conversation is diverted, at least for now.

However, as usual, Andy's luck runs out pretty quickly, because Dean volunteers to take care of her injuries as Sam tries to find her some clothes to change into, leaving the two of them alone again.

Carefully taking her hands into his, Dean can't help but wince as he looks at the burned and blistered skin, with blood and bruises. "How did this happen?"

"Anti-magic iron handcuffs," She answers a moment later. "Can't say that winged fucker isn't creative,"

He doesn't comment on her sarcasm, and silence fills the room until he finishes disinfecting and bandaging both her hands. "Are you hurt anywhere else?" She shakes her head. "You sure? There's a lot of blood in your clothes," Dean asks, worry in his eyes.

"I know it doesn't look like it, but I'm fine Dean," she says, forcing out a smile. "I'll be even better as soon as I get some rest and get my stuff back,"

Studying her face, Dean can tell there's more to this than what she's telling him, but despite his want to question her about everything, he knows she needs to rest. "You should get some rest," He says, standing up. "But before I go, I owe you a thank you and an apology," A question appears in her face, and he continues, explaining. "For the way, I treated you before this mess. I should've thanked you for healing me instead of saying all of those things,"

Andy offers him a small smile, and this time it's real, and not the fake smile she'd been giving him. "You don't need to thank me," she pauses. "I accept your apology. I know you meant well,"

"Yeah, but it was a really shitty way to show that, don't you think?"

She smiles again. "Maybe, but let's let bygones be bygones, okay?"

Dean nods. "And I'm sorry you had to go through this, Andy," He says, pointing at her hands. "You deserved better than being caught in all of this mess,"

"We both did, Dean," She yawns and he takes that as his cue.

"I'll leave you to it. Call us if you need anything, okay? Or just knock on the wall,"

Smiling, she agrees. "Will do. Good night, Dean,"

"Sleep tight, Andy,"

.

As he walks out and closes the door, Andrea struggles with the feelings inside her chest. Blaming Zachariah for doing this to her, she promises to herself she won't let these feelings for Dean get in the way of who she is and of what she has to do. Everything will be easier if she keeps her emotions out of the game.

Because they hadn't known how long Dean would be in the hospital, Andy had left her reservation open in the hotel, which meant a hell of a bill, but also meant that all of her belongings, thank goodness, were exactly where she left them. After making the boys wait for her to take a shower and get dressed in her own clothes, they pack everything to go to Bobby's.

"Does any of you know how to drive a bike?" She asks them in the parking lot.

"What? Why?" Dean asks back.

"I can't drive," She replies, showing her bandaged wrists. "And I can't leave Eleanor Rigby alone here. I can't be constantly asking Bobby to pick her up all the time,"

The boys stare at each other for a second, and Dean looks at her with a mocking smile on his lips. "You named your bike after a Beatles' song?"

"Ellis did, actually. It was his bike," At noticing the shadow in her green eyes, Dean takes a step forward.

"Give me the keys," As she handles it to him, he smiles again. "I've always wanted to try her out anyway,"

There's something devious in his eyes, as he smiles and Andy shakes her head. "This is a Harley Davidson, Fat Boy 2000, with custom-made parts. You better be careful with her, Dean Winchester!"

.

True to what she'd said at the motel, a couple of days later, Andrea's back into shape, well enough to heal her wrists and her body as if nothing had happened. At first, the Winchesters are worried about her and what happened while Zachariah had her, but she waves off their concern, putting on her best face to assure them she's just fine.

On their third night at Bobby's, they decide to go out to relax a little. Sitting at a bar, drinking a very good mojito, for a second, Andy watches Dean and allows herself to think about what Zachariah had said. She did care for the Winchesters that much was true, but the part about her having feelings for Dean had surprised her, as denial had always been one of her best qualities. The days they'd spent as husband and wife had been so good and she could actually say she'd been happy, and she found herself wondering if something like that could ever happen outside of an angel-induced dream.

A witch with feelings for a hunter, she thought to herself. It sounded like a bad joke or the synopsis of a bad teenager movie. The idea makes her laugh for a moment.

"What's so funny?" Dean asks, as he arrives at the table and sees her laughing.

As she looks at him her laugh dies and she shakes her head. "Nothing," she replies, finishing off her drink. That's when she notices Dean staring at her. His green eyes awaken something inside of her and she fights to push those thoughts away. "What?"

"Nothing," He says with a shrug, and deciding not to encourage the confused feelings inside of her, Andrea finds the cute guy that had been eye-flirting with her all night in the crowd.

"I'm gonna get another drink, and hopefully, I'll also get some luck. Don't wait for me," She says, standing up and walking away.

Sam arrives just in time to see her leave and he and Dean watch her talk to a random guy. When they start making out in the bar, the brothers look away.

"I think there's something wrong with her," Dean says after a moment.

"What?" Sam asks.

"I dunno. She just seems off, after this whole thing with Zachariah,"

Sam considers his words. "Off how?"

"She's more quiet, she's been drinking more…" Dean trails off pointing at the four glasses Andrea had left at the table.

"Dean, we both know how much angels can fuck up our heads. But Andy looks fine," Turning to where Andrea is still making out with the random guy, Sam quickly looks away. "Actually, she looks more than fine," He comments with a small laugh.

Dean briefly looks at the scene, and instead of replying, he looks away and goes to the bar to get himself something stronger.

At first, Dean doesn't acknowledge the weird and sour feeling on his chest. He doesn't understand why he's bothered by the fact that Andy is tongue deep with the guy from the bar. He had seen her with other people before, men and women, and it hadn't been an issue. It's only when he watches her leave the bar with the guy, sexily swinging her hips, that it hits him. He's jealous. He remembers her walking in the same way, in Zachariah's dream, wearing that pretty loose dress of hers, what they had done next, and the idea of how she'll spend the night moaning beneath someone else makes his blood boil. When the guy puts his hand way too low on her back to guide her out the door, Dean clenches his fits.

"Whatever you're thinking of doing, don't," Sam says across from him, watching his expression and manners.

Dean stares at his brother. "What makes you think I'm thinking of doing anything?"

"Come on, Dean. I saw the look on your face when Andy was making out with that guy, and your expression just now when they were walking out," Sam pauses, leaning in on the table. "It's Zachariah's dream life, isn't it?" At the question, Dean gives him a pointed look. "Man, I get it. For a hot minute, you two were married. That's gotta mess with your head,"

"Well, it shouldn't," Dean finally replies. "I've got enough in my head as it is,"

Sam watches as his brother finishes the rest of his beer in one gulp, and studying his expression, the younger Winchester makes a question that had been on the back of his mind for a while. "Do you have feelings for Andy? Or is it just what Zachariah did?"

"I don't know, Sam," Dean answers a long minute later.

"You better figure out, because you know this life we live doesn't forgive distractions,"

.

Later that night, Andrea's midway on her way to her bed when a voice stops her in her place.

"Doin' the walk of shame?" Dean's sitting on Bobby's couch, the desk lamp illuminating them both, and for a second, Andy mentally kicks herself for not having noticed the light inside in her half hangover state.

"It's only a walk of shame if someone else's watching," she replies sarcastically. "Shouldn't you be asleep?"

"Yeah, but I couldn't. Nightmares," His words remind her of their dream life when she'd said something similar, and she remembers how he had stayed with her. It takes her a moment to push the memories of his care, his kisses, and even of his coffee away, but as she walks inside the living room, she makes a note to herself to try not to be so bitchy.

Dean notices her face softening, and he takes the opportunity. "Do you think about it?"

Andy plays dumb. "About what?" She asks, even though she knows exactly what he's saying.

"The life we had in Zachariah's dream world," He replies, studying her face.

"I try not to," Andrea finally replies after a long moment of silence. "Why should I torture myself with something that wasn't real?"

"Seemed real enough to me," Dean finds himself saying, and as the words leave his mouth he regrets them, unsure of what would happen now.

At first, she doesn't know what to say, because she can't understand the meaning of his words. Is he really saying what she thinks he's saying? Or is her hangover and screwed-up brain playing tricks on her, making her see things that aren't here? Finally, Andrea takes the safest road. "Dean," she begins, sighing. "It felt real because Zachariah wanted it to be real, and to make sure of it he used real memories to make the dream ones,"

"What do you mean?"

"Me with a hippie dress, sitting on the kitchen island working after cooking dinner, and drinking wine while waiting for you to arrive home? That was a twisted version of a memory from when I lived with Ellis," She pauses. "You see, the things we lived, what we did, the way we felt… those were all fabricated memories,"

As she says those words Dean can't explain why he feels weird and bothered like something is wrong. He wasn't expecting such an answer, that's for sure. "I see what you mean," He replies after a moment, not commenting on her words.

"That fucking angel messed with our heads, Dean. We're bound to feel weird for a while, but we shouldn't let it get in the way of the things we have to do,"

Looking at her he sees that her face is no longer soft. Her expression is blank, no longer giving anything away and he immediately knows she's closed herself off, putting her walls back in place. "You're right," He ends up saying. "It'll definitely be weird, but you and I won't let it become a problem,"

Andy can tell from his tone he isn't happy with this conversation. When he doesn't say anything else, she knows it's time to go. "Okay. I'm gonna go," She says, pointing towards the stairs. "See you tomorrow,"

Dean only nods in reply, no longer looking at her and Andrea hurries up the stairs. Once she's locked inside the guest bedroom, she breaks down under the weight of the lie she just told. In a perfect world, their conversation would've been the perfect moment to tell him about her feelings, declare her love, and spend the night with him like happened in movies, but her life was far from perfect. Having feelings for him should only mean one thing for her: that she had yet another reason to focus on killing Lilith. The demon would pay not only for ruining her life but also for sending Dean to Hell. If she couldn't love him, at least she could give him revenge.

.

When the boys found a hunt the next day, Andy enlisted Bobby's help to make sure she stayed behind. At her request, Bobby tells them he could use some help. Since they are just going to check a possible ghost, not too far from Sioux Falls, it wouldn't be a problem if she stayed behind.

As soon as they're gone, Andy disappears into the yard, telling Bobby she needs to meditate. Knowing he won't bother her, Andrea restarts her studies on the spell to kill Lilith. She had finished the alterations Ellis had suggested back when Dean had been at the hospital, and now she wanted to be sure it was going to work. With one more look around to be sure she's alone, Andy grabs her phone and dials Ruby's number. It goes straight to voicemail. She tries two more times before resigning to leaving a message.

"You told me to call you when the spell was ready. The spell's ready and I need to know if it works. Call me back when you get this,"

Putting her phone aside, she closes her eyes to focus on her magic. Once she feels in tune with it completely, she turns her attention to the spell, analyzing it yet again, to ensure she didn't miss anything.

Whilst a part of her is totally sure of her work and her abilities, another part of her feels insecure and afraid, and she can't help it. This is the most important spell she has ever worked on, and there's too much at stake. There was no room for mistakes, not when a mistake could mean the end of the world.

Her phone ringing brought her back from her thoughts.

"Hey, Sam-"

"Andy, I need your help," The younger Winchester says urgently, and immediately, Andrea's on her feet.

"What do you need?"

"Long story short, Lilith is coming after me. Tonight. It's the perfect opportunity. I know you're still working on the spell to trap her," As he says those words, her eyes drift to her grimoire and notebook on the ground. "But I'm stronger now. I killed Alastair, I can kill her too. Especially if you can use your magic to weaken her or even distract her. How fast can you get here? I just texted you the address,"

"Give me a sec," Taking her phone off her ear to look at his text, Andrea considers what he just told her. She only hesitates for a couple of seconds before bringing the phone back to her ear. "I can be there in three hours, tops,"

"Hurry up," It's all he replies before hanging up.

Picking up her things, Andrea hurries inside the house. She's packing her things as fast as possible when Bobby speaks from behind her. "Lemme guess, Sam called you,"

His tone makes her look back at the door. Unable to read his face, as usual, Andrea turns her attention back to her backpack as she replies. "Yeah, he did," She pauses, looking at him again. "Is something wrong?"

"I just got off the phone with Dean. He figured Sam would call you and he said you should stay here,"

Closing the zipper, Andy looks up. "What? Why?"

"He didn't give me many details, but he doesn't think Sam can face Lilith. It's all happening very fast and no one's ready, I mean, you're still working on the spell we need and I agree with him. You and Sam can't just go against such a powerful demon without preparation,"

"Sam said he's stronger and that he can do this," She replies. "Dean shouldn't doubt his word. I mean, Sam's the one with powers, he knows what he's talking about. Besides, I am prepared. I finished the spell before the whole Zachariah situation,"

Bobby's eyes widened at her words. "You finished? Why didn't you say something?"

"I didn't have time," Andy says, not telling him the whole story. "And I don't have time now. Sam's waiting for me," She pauses, grabbing her backpack. "I know you don't agree with me agreeing with Sam and going to them, but I need your help, Bobby. Can you help me?"

"You're stubborn as a damn mule, girl," He sighs. "What do you need?"

"I need to borrow a car," She says with a small smile.

Outside, as she looks at the car he has available, Bobby becomes intrigued. "Wouldn't your bike be faster?" He asks.

"It would, but I forgot to do her monthly check-up, and I don't want to risk something happening on the way,"

"Alright," He says, scratching his chin. "Here's the keys. Let me know when you get there," He pauses, studying her. "Be careful, Andy,"

"Will do. Don't worry, Bobby," She says smiling. Then, she looks around for a second, before looking at him again. "Thank you for everything, Bobby,"

"You don't need to thank me, girl,"

"I do," She gets inside and closes the door. With a wave, Andy drives away.

Watching her leave, a weird feeling awakes inside of him. His intuition never failed him before and trusting his gut that something feels off, Bobby dials Dean's number to let him know that Andy's on her way. Just as Dean picks up, Bobby's eyes find her bike, parked by the side of the house. Hanging up on Dean, the older hunter walks to the Harley Davidson and decides to inspect it.

.

Andrea drives through the roads missing the feeling of freedom her bike gave her. However, she knew leaving Eleanor behind was the right thing to do. The moment Sam called to tell her about Lilith was a moment where Andy needed to make a decision. The spell sitting on the passenger seat required a very specific, very powerful kind of dark magic, and back when her ancestor, Marie, had used it to trap her abusive husband and his soul to the house they lived in, it had cost her a lot. Initially, her health. Her daughter's journals said that while they finally were free from Marco's violence - trapped in the house he could no longer hurt them - Marie was often sick and unable to leave the bed, sometimes for days. As time went by, it was clear that the magic hadn't just affected her body, but her mind as well. It was the reason why everyone nowadays called her Crazy Marie, not disrespectfully, but because she would forever be an example of what could happen if a witch overused her magic. Knowing all that, Andrea had to decide right then if she was willing to pay the price this magic could require of her. Again, in a perfect world she wouldn't have to go through this, because in the perfect world she would have a nice life - maybe even a human life, who knows - with a pet, and someone who cared for her and loved her, a life where her biggest concern would be paying bills or whatever. But her life was far from perfect and she had to play the cards she'd been dealt with.

So in those few seconds, Andrea made her choice thinking of all the people who would be able to keep living their happy ordinary human lives, blissfully unaware of angels, demons, apocalypses. She made her choice thinking about herself and how Lilith had destroyed her life. And she made her choice thinking about Dean, a good man who had been wrongly sent to hell for 40 years. She needed to make sure Lilith would never destroy another life or send innocent people to hell again, no matter the consequences.

Yes, she hadn't had time to test her spell the way she wanted, but right now she would have to trust herself. With that in mind, Andrea steps on the gas.

.

"Andy, hey. Thanks for coming," Sam says as he opens the door to let her in. "There's a lot I need to fill you in, but first, you need to know what's happening,"

Setting her bag on the floor, she turns to him. Sam starts telling her about the books they'd found about their lives and how those led to a man named Chuck Shurley, who turned to be someone who can see the future.

"Are they for real?" She asks interrupting him. "His visions?"

Sam nods. "I don't know how or why, but yeah. Chuck's the real deal," At his words, Andrea is struck by an idea.

"I need to see him," She says. "This seer of yours, I need to talk to him," If this Chuck person can see the future, he'll be able to tell her if her spell will work, thus finally giving her the assurance she needed to ease her last doubt. "I'll explain it to you," Andy continues when a question appears on his face. "Can you tell me how to get to his house?"

"Sure," He finally says after a moment of hesitation.

True to Sam's word, it's only a few minutes drive from the motel to Chuck's house. She knocks a couple of times and waits. When the door opens, Andy is hit with a wave of power she's never felt before in her life. Ever. For a few seconds, she just stares at the man. He's somewhere between 30's and 40's, has messy hair, and a beard. There's nothing unusual about his appearance. Nothing could be related to the powerful energy she feels.

"You gotta be kidding me," Chuck says, staring at her. "You're real too?"

"As real as you, I'm afraid," Andy replies. "Do you mind?" She asks, pointing inside the house and he steps aside to let her in. "Sam told me all about you, and I think you know why I'm here,"

Chuck nods. "I saw it last night," When he doesn't continue, Andrea's impatience awakes.

"Then tell me. Will the spell work? Will we kill Lilith tonight?"

Staring at him, she sees it. The exact moment something between worry and pity appears in his blue eyes, and she knows what he's about to say before he says it. "I don't know what will happen to Lilith, 'cause I haven't seen that far ahead yet, but I do know that your spell ain't gonna work,"

"Why not? What did I do wrong?" She asks, despair filling her words. "Answer me!" She yells.

"I don't know! I don't know, okay? I'm not a witch. I don't understand magic. All I know is that it won't work," She turns away from him, running a hand over her face. "Shouldn't you be, I don't know, happy? Or at least not as miserable?" He asks after a long moment. "I mean, I know it's some serious strong dark magic, and the effects of messing with that are no joke,"

Facing him again, Andy shakes her head. "This isn't about me being happy, Chuck. As long as Lilith pays for the things she's done, as long as she dies, I don't care what happens to me,"

Chuck studies her. "You really gave up on yourself," It's not a question. Andrea shrugs at his words, and he doesn't miss the tears forming in her eyes. However, before she says anything, the front door opens, and Dean walks in looking pissed.

"You look terrible," Chuck comments.

"That's 'cause I just got hit by a minivan, Chuck,"

"Oh," Chuck says, not at all surprised.

"That it?" Dean demands. "Every damn thing you write about me comes true; that's all you have to say is "oh"?" Before Chuck can reply, Dean turns to look at Andrea. "You're here," He says, shaking his head. "I asked Bobby to tell you to not come here, but, of course, you came anyway. I wasn't worried, though, 'cause the town's closed so I thought you wouldn't make it, but here you are. So, tell me. How are you here?" He urges.

His outburst gives her enough time to recover from the moment with Chuck, and with her best sarcastic smile on, Andrea answers his question. "I came through a back road. They were about to close it for some works but thanks to my cleavage and a flirty smile they let me right in,"

Not replying, Dean turns to Chuck. "You know this would happen, didn't you? You knew she would come here and you didn't say anything!"

"Please don't yell at me," Chuck says, sounding afraid.

"Why do I get the feeling there's something that you're not telling us?" The older Winchester questions in a dangerous tone.

"What wouldn't I be telling you?"

"How you know what you know, for starters!" Dean yells again.

"I don't know how I know, I just do!

"That's not good enough," Before Andy can do anything, Dean is shoving Chuck against the wall, hard. "How the hell are you doing this?!"

Just as she's about to reach for Dean to pull him away from Chuck, Castiel appears by her side, out of nowhere.

"Dean, let him go!" At his order, Dean releases Chuck and turns to face the angel. "This man is to be protected," Castiel says.

"Why?" Andrea asks, making the angel look at her for the first time.

"He's a Prophet of the Lord,"

.

Andrea watches in silence as Castiel and Chuck greet each other, and Dean questions the angel's words. Chuck cracks open a fresh bottle of whiskey and pours himself some. As he confesses to Dean he dreamt about Castiel, she reaches for the bottle, taking it away from his hands. She ignores the looks of the three men as she drinks a large sip, straight from the bottle.

After Castiel explains that Chuck's writing what's to be some sort of future new testament, the Winchester Gospel, and that the man is a mouthpiece for the inspired word, Chuck excuses himself, clearly needing a minute. He eyes the bottle, and lowering it from her lips, Andrea shakes her head. "Don't even think about it,"

"I have another one upstairs, anyway," He replies, leaving them alone.

Andy drinks, just listening to Castiel and Dean's talk.

"I don't know how prophets are chosen. The order comes from high up on the celestial chain of command," The angel says.

"The celestial chain of command sucks," She comments for the first time, thinking about Zachariah.

Dean looks at her, but turns again to Castiel, "How high?"

"Very,"

"Well, whatever. How do we get around this?" Dean insists.

"Around what?"

"The Sam-Lilith love connection," Dean says. "How do we stop it from happening?"

"What the prophet has written can't be unwritten," Castiel says in his traditional ominous voice. "As he has seen it, so it shall come to pass,"

"I guess this means we're fucked," Andrea says, breaking the silence.