Suite No.2 Reminiscence Recordings and Remembrance.

Asuka was tense and focused as she rarely was outside of battle. She watched her stopwatch and counted seconds with precision…

She followed the list of instructions just as she would follow the EVA checklist.

„Temperature 165 Fahrenheit, steep for 150 seconds…" she repeated and watched the clock hand making its way around…

‚130…'

‚140…'

‚150!'

She took out the tea leaves and poured two cups, placing them on the tray with a bowl of sugar and some honey. She spared a quick look to the living room and saw Shinji still preoccupied with tuning his cello.

‚He is taking time with that' she thought grateful for once for the extra time. Asuka tasted the tea and after a moment nodded. ``This will do,' she thought and tossed the used leaves to the bin just as she did with the ones from her two previous attempts…

She picked the tray and carried it to the conference table she placed so both she and baka could reach it without getting up. She took one of the cookies Shinji baked the day before and bit on ‚Damn, Shinji was right, it's even better!' she thought. She wolfed it down and was half way through the next one when she realised she had cookie crumbles all over her summer dress. She swept it in her hand and placed it on the tray. ‚Not long ago I'd sweep it on the ground and not care about making more work for the Baka' she thought with a whiff of guilty conscience.

She shook her head resolutely. ‚It is Friday, Shinji is going to play cello for me, and I'm not going to have to listen to droning about pre-Second Impact World for two days, or ever!' she thought with a smile and grabbed another cookie.

„I thought I should have made another dose of them," said Shinji with a grin when he set the cello aside to drink some tea. Asuka watched him intently as he drank.

When he set the cup aside with a relaxed smile Asuka could not help but match it „Told you I am going to make you the best green tea ever someday!" she grinned.

Shinji took another sip and set the cup on the table „Thank you Asuka, and you definitely did, my aunt, well, tea was not her thing, so I mostly drank the tea bag ones and you know how Misato is in the kitchen." they both grinned at that.

"I know, two years in Germany, remember?" she said with an overemphasised shudder. "It took Kaji two months to break me from testing any homemade food on a rat before eating it..."

Shinji thought to ask how many rats Asuka went through, but then he decided he did not need to know that detail... Instead, he smiled and asked: "How is Germany compared to Japan?"

That was not a question Asuka expected and she frowned. "Unless you want to sit here debating that all night, narrow it down, dummy," she replied eventually and snatched another cookie.

"Uhm..." said Shinji and nodded thinking for a bit "Well I bet German Nerv is much the same as our branch" he reasoned after a while. "Asuka nodded "Only less grandiose we don't have Geofront in Germany," she said with a smile "that was the first thing to impress me after making landfall in Japan."

'I can keep what, or who, impressed me even before making landfall to myself for a while' she thought.

"How are people different in Germany?" Shinji asked in the end. 'That was a good question' Asuka thought and thought how to answer it.

"Well, you take Dr. Akagi; scale her down a few notches and you are pretty much there. Germans are a lot more direct than Japanese. When we don't like something, we bloody well say it..." that elicited a grin from Shinji.

"Everything is more egalitarian, that observing from a high perch shtick your father does when there is an alarm that would not fly in Germany..." she followed...

She went on for a while only occasionally pausing when Shinji looked like he had an additional question or remark until she noticed that she had been speaking for close on fifteen minutes and she still had his rapt attention.

"...and when we say that we are impressed or grateful we bloody well mean it." She finished and gave Shinji another peck on the cheek.

"What for Asuka?" he asked and smiled at her.

"You care," she said as if that would explain everything and felt her cheeks colouring a bit. "Play for me, please" she said and looked down to her tea.

And he did, she smiled when she recognised one of Paganini's works for the quartet, even from just the cello part. When the music ended Asuka found herself clapping again...

Shinji gave her a slightly embarrassed look and said: "it sounds better when you have all four instruments". She leaned in just so she could put her index finger over his lips and replied "I'm sure it does, but this was beautiful so don't apologise"

He smiled and mounted off "As you wish" in reply. Asuka remembered them watching Princess Bride last week and blushed deeply. 'That would have been a horrible day, if I was on my own.'

She recalled how she started the day by letting loose all the German swear words she knew in the morning and demanding pancakes instead of whatever Shinji was already half way through cooking when she got up. He even got her the cinnamon sugar when by all rights he should have sent her to hell with yet another special order...

And then, after making her school day bearable, he just had to get the best possible movie to watch in the afternoon.

"You know I am letting you get away with it, because you started doing it before you saw the movie," she said half teasing.

"Getting away with what?" said Shinji, who for his part, remembered how Asuka ended welding herself to him halfway through the movie so that she could get to the chips, or so she said...

"Using that line at me," she replied "It's so cheesy it should not work," she added letting the 'but it damn well does' go unsaid.

'Must not apologise for being myself' Shinji reminded himself "well I mean it. If I can make your day better, I will" he said instead. The redhead nodded and he noticed she let her hair loose for the evening.

'And one day I will learn how to be that nice to you' Asuka thought. There was a moment of companionable silence after that until a muffled "Waaark" broke it. The teens looked at each other and decided that Pen-Pen is smart enough to find his beer on his own...

Asuka smiled back and got up, retrieving her phone. She set it on the table close to Shinji and sat right back looking at him: "Shinji, could I record something you played for me? I'm going to listen to it next time Geezer Sensei gets on my nerves with his "life was better before the angels crap" so I don't have to apologise to Hikari for murdering him..."

When Shinji was finally capable of speech, some minutes later, he nodded and asked: "Any preference?" He had a serious expression now, which Asuka found oddly cute.

"I liked your take on Beethoven a lot," she admitted and sipped some more tea. Shinji nodded: "alright, whenever you are ready..."

Almost an hour later Shinji set aside the bow and wiped the sweat off his face. Asuka was clapping again and only killed the recording after a minute or two.

"Shinji, if you ever start a restaurant after we are done kicking angels six ways till Sunday you can alternate between cooking and playing and people will love both" she said.

She smiled back when he gave a sheepish grin.

Asuka set her phone aside and pushed her chair closer to Shinji. "Say Shinji, other than playing and music at all, what did you like to do before you got drafted to save the world?"

She felt her heart sunk a bit when he actually struggled. 'My childhood was fucking horrible and I could name dozen of things I loved doing at any moment,' she thought.

She thought of telling him that he doesn't have to answer her. But she decided against it and instead grabbed his hand and squeezed it in what she hoped was a reassuring gesture.

Shinji almost jolted up and gave her a surprised look, but squeezed back and kept hold of her hand. After a while, 'still holding onto me' she thought, Shinji spoke up: "Mostly things that allow me to get out of other people's way. Did read a lot for one. School Library, City library... Took long walks when I was not sure what I wanted or had nothing better to do, Still doing that from time to time..."

'So that's why you sometimes are not home for a few hours at a time and don't say anything about what you did when you come back?' Asuka tightened a hold onto his hand.

"Oh, and I got good at folding origami," he added almost as an afterthought Asuka almost lost that, deep in thought.

"Your father never even visited? " she asked, already knowing the answer 'If he is that eager to get Commander Ikari's approval now. Then any visits would be a highlight.' She thought.

Shinji stiffened at that, but before she could tell him he did not need to say anything he spoke "No, he had me brought to him once a year to visit my mother's grave. He said he was too busy to get more involved and that I was better off with my Uncle, actually the day you found me playing I got back from another visit to my mother's grave."

"Bullshit!" muttered Asuka. She remembered wanting to win Commander's approval almost as hard as Shinji. She felt ashamed about it now. 'And I give Misato grief for being lousy guardian'

"What? He runs the Nerv, I'm sure he is busy" said Shinji defensively.

Asuka bit her lip and was very silent for a good long while. Then she nodded. Shinji, before I tell you any of this, you gotta swear you never tell anyone. If you do, you are dead to me, understand?" she looked into his eyes "If you are not sure you want to do that, forget I ever said anything and don't EVER bring it up. That's up to you."

Shinji nodded and squeezed her hand "I swear, Asuka," he said.

Asuka was again amazed. 'I could have dropped on him that I am secretly in league with the Angels and he would keep that secret,' she thought.

"Shinji. You know how much time I am worth to my father?" she said, spitting the last word out like a curse. "Two, maybe three hours a year... That's how long it takes to write and send two letters: one for his birthday and one for Christmas. That is one in five thousand seconds a year he spends thinking about me. I wanted him to care, I wanted. I tried to be a good girl... then I hated him. Now I don't care, that was one of the good things Misato did for me..."

Now she was holding onto him as on a lifeline... "You know how Misato is, she always asks questions and she will find things out. Well she found out me and dad were damn well strangers to each other and she tracked him down. Having a fine life out of the profits from my mother's patents. With my stepmother. And my little step Brother I never even saw."

"She then tried to make him at least go see me once" Asuka shuddered "what is the most you have seen her drink in an evening?"

Shinji thought 'Six-pack? No, two? Back when...' Asuka broke his line of thoughts. "...four."

"That's not that bad," started Shinji before the redhead cut him off "two bottles of bourbon, and two of vodka. Then she told me word by word, my father's words, that he had a new life now, that I did not fit into that life, that I reminded him of momma, and that I was happiest playing with Unit 02 anyway..."

She was crying, and she did not care that he saw, not at that moment. She felt like tearing off the scab from a badly festering wound. She felt Sorry for Shinji, for being forced to listen to her sad excuse of a life. 'And mostly you feel sorry for yourself and mamma,' she thought.

"Then she told me that I don't have a father, that that man doesn't deserve me to call him that. I think I yelled at her, I am sure I told her that Dad will come back, guess along with my mother's nurse whom he was fucking way back when she was my mother's nurse."

"Guess who is right and who is the fool now?" she said bitterly. 'I want a hug,' she thought, 'I want a hug, a bowl of Ice cream, and to shut the hell up about this,' she realised Shinji grabbed her other hand too and held her at least that way...

"We did not talk for weeks after that, except on whose day it is to take out trash, or order pizza, and just when we started to being verdammt civil again she got reassigned to Japan and I got Kaji to look after me."

"I thought Kaji is a billion times the man my father was, and now I think he is a billion times the man your father is, and so are you. Because you bloody care even when that hurts and they delegate it on the others."

She felt like she could use four bottles of booze herself at the moment. "Your father had fourteen years to love you, he did not, he never will, so fuck him. Misato is so dotted on you it's obvious to anyone, but you, Dummkopf, even someone so bad at this liking people stuff as me..." she added wistfully.

"I thought you wanted his praise," said Shinji, "You always put in extra effort when he comes to see the training." He looked at her, completely honest.

"As a supreme commander of Nerv, yes, not as a parent or human being," she said bitterly "I gave up on that, you don't have to."

'Huh, that is the great Asuka Langley Sohryu, half a fraud, half a wreck, like my parents,' she thought.

Shinji felt broken. He wanted to yell at Asuka, he wanted to insist that his father will love him again if he kills enough Angels for humanity. He wanted to be a fool...

'Now I did it, I broke him and brought him down to my level, so we can both sit and wallow in self-pity,' thought Asuka. When she saw a flicker of anger, she snapped: "If you want to yell about how great your daddy is and I just don't see it, suit yourself, but don't try to make me believe you believe it."

She expected a lot of things, outburst of anger, Shinji running away, tears and disbelief... She did not expect to be shut up with a kiss...

"Now you are baka" said Shinji when they broke off for air. Go, try to run that "I gave up on people shit" of yours by Hikari!" He was breathing hard "You just take a transcontinental leap of trust to try and save me pain by sharing yours." he held her so tight it was almost painful... but to Asuka, it felt good "And if Misato gave up on you, you would be rooming at Geofront, not in our flat..."

"And she did care for you in Germany, Idiot, she still cares," he said, eyes drilling into hers "I ran away on her twice, and we did not talk for a long while after the first time too."

Asuka felt dizzy more from his words than any lack of air, but she still managed to ask "And the other time?"

Shinji smiled 'first honest happy smile since our craptastic fathers made the subject' Asuka thought and Shinji answered her: "I chose to come back the second time."

"It was that simple?" she was almost sure he must be kidding her.

"Yes" said Shinji "and unless she forced you to live with us at gunpoint you already did that too. Baka Asuka!" he said and gave her a grin.

"Well she did say that resistance was futile and that I could choose Nerv dorms and her cooking or her flat and yours cooking," Shinji gave her horrified look...

"I'm kidding. She did not threaten to cook for me." They both laugh at that. And she felt Shinji's embrace loosening, but not going away. "See, you come back, just talk with her, talk things out."

"it's not that simple, Shinji," Asuka sighed. "She helped, she got hurt big time while helping, and then I took that knife, and twisted it."

She saw the anger in his face that would make her recoil if she had anywhere where too. "Asuka, you end up hurting people you care for, that's the way of life. Hell, we hurt the shit out of each other, haven't we?"

She nodded. Between the two of them there was no denying that. Shinji went on: "What matters is what you do when that happens, and you get way better at fixing your fuckups," he said, smiling at her. "You are great Asuka Sohryu, if you set your mind to a thing, you can do it. Killing an angel, making damn good tea, fixing things with Misato".
Asuka wondered: 'What the hell do you see in me, Baka because I sure don't see it...'