AN. Mea culpa Mea culpa, Mea culpa maxima, but life got in the way. Well here is at least a chapter for you. I can promise that another chapter is well on the way through. Standard disclaimer. I am nowhere near depressed enough to possibly own the NGE. Intermezzo No.2 Making peace
Asuka was not sure what felt so wrong when she came home from school. 'Huh, Baka steps out for a day to have a sleepover at Suzuhara's and the place feels different already?' She frowned and handed Pen-Pen the beer he demanded earlier.
"Hi Asuka, I dodged that budget meeting after all! And you won't guess what I approved for production and use today. An EVA sized shotgun made of spare battleship cannons!" Misato called from the entrance and stretched.
Asuka grinned at her guardian "So when do I get to shoot it?" she fired immediately. Misato chuckled "Not for weeks, at least not in reality, it's too big to use in real-world training, but in sims, give Maya a week and you have it."
Misato looked over to the kitchen. "Where is Shinji?" she asked.
Asuka almost hit the table with her head: "And you call yourself our guardian? He's at Suzuhara's tonight, he left food in the fridge and strict orders to not touch it with any spices." She was inventing the last part, but she would not have Misato to touch Shinji's curry if she could preempt that.
"Hey, I know that, but that's supposed to be on Wednesday," replied Misato. "It is Wednesday," said Asuka smiling 'messing up what day it is, but remembers without a blink when Baka had his sleepover, you are incomprehensible, Misato' she thought.
They had eaten dinner without incident and even agreed on what to watch on TV after Asuka made a pro forma resistance. Truth be told, she did not even notice whatever Misato picked as the least evil. Asuka noticed the cello sitting in the living room under a cover of cloth. 'That's new, he always puts it back in his room' she thought.
She was surprised when she realised it was the first thing in the living room that suggested someone but she and Misato lived in the place.
She thought about their last proper jam. 'Kill an angel, fix things with Misato, make damn good tea…' Asuka thought about that several times since.
'I want that,' she realised, 'or I want to give it my best try.'
She gulped down some cola and drew a breath: 'You are the great Asuka Sohryu, if you set your mind to a thing, you can do it. Killing an angel, making damn good tea, fixing things with Misato,' she remembered his words again and in full this time...
"Misato, would you kill the TV? I have something important to tell you, about Germany…" she said, picking the words from which there would be no return.
Misato did as Asuka asked and looked at her expectantly. She may have had an idea what the redhead wanted to talk about, but if that was so, Misato knew that Asuka needed to say it herself.
"I messed up big fucking time, Misato, I should not have yelled at you when you told me just how useless my father is. I should not hurt you by trying to make us both believe that he will come back. And most of all I should never call you a liar…"
"Uso-tsuki!" uttered Asuka making damn sure to get her Japanese just right this time.
Misato looked at her eyes, bloodshot from both the booze and crying half the evening. Yet somehow she looked even more hurt than when Asuka came back from her computer science class. And she looked pitiful back then…
"Asuka, I saw it with my own eyes. All of it. That…" She paused searching for the word. "Man," she spat finally… "Does not deserve you losing a night of sleep over him," Asuka noted that Misato clutched her cross so hard it had to hurt the whole time she spoke.
"I don't care what you think you saw. Just because your father is dead and won't come back, ever, does not mean mine won't either," she said. She almost believed it too, 'If I am a good girl, papa will come back, even if momma is gone, I still have papa,' she repeated to herself…
"How?" asked Misato and looked over the bottles on and around the table…
"I know that your dad is dead? Come on, I am an EVA pilot, they taught me everything important about Second Impact." She saw Misato visibly recoil under her words. She felt good, a lot. That's that for taking her dreams away like so. But she also felt terrible…
"Well, yours might as well be for all that he cares about you," Misato spat viciously. "My father saved me the last thing he did before he died, your father would not take an afternoon out of his golf time for you…"
After that, there was much yelling and then the three months of silence...
"I am sorry Misato, I was stupid, I made you hurt even worse than my asshole of a father and I never had guts to apologise for that… I… I hope that maybe we can turn a page… Start again…" she did not even ask for forgiveness. Asuka would never be able to forgive what she did to someone else…
She gave a startled yelp when she got almost crushed in a hug… Misato fought back tears. "You were a child Asuka, you still are too. I was a grown-ass adult. I should not tell you when drunk, and I should not ignore you for three damn months. For that I am sorry. Can we start again? I should be the one asking."
They stayed like that for a good long while. Then Misato spoke again: "You mentioned my father being dead back then?"
The part of Asuka's mind that was not drunk on acceptance readily supplied 'More like throw it in your face and rubbed the salt in' but she only nodded.
"Guess you don't know how exactly he died, right?" she shook her head and listened keenly.
"I was just visiting Dad at the experiment site back then. We did not really talk to one and the other, he still tried through. And when the Second Impact hit, the last thing he did was to save my life by getting me into a life pod and giving me this…" she touched the cross on her neck.
"And you know what? I am not surprised he did it," Misato continued. "Even if we weren't on speaking terms, he was my father, and he cared; he just did not know how to show it really well, that runs in the family, I think."
Asuka gave her guardian a questioning look: "Why are you telling me that, Misato?"
"Because that is what a father is, it is someone who will fight and sacrifice themselves to keep you safe no matter what, they don't have to be your birth parent you know?"
Asuka immediately thought of Kaji. About times when he ordered her to take a break from the study when she was about to fall apart. About finding an insightful gift for her birthday when everyone else either did not bother or bought "standard 13th birthday present for a girl". 'As uncomfortable as I made him by chasing after him, he was there for me.'
She tried to think of a list of people she could say that about, it was damn short. 'And half of them I treated terribly half of the time.'
'Even Misato. And she still took me in again," she realised as she started thinking aloud.
Misato smiled, "You know I know Kaji, well he talks." They both chuckled at that. "And between cooling my head a bit and talking to him, I realised you just lost it once. And I did not want you to be alone, that was worth giving you a chance." She let go of Asuka, then she turned back to her: "I knew we would talk about this sooner or later, but I am curious. Why now?"
Asuka drew a breath. 'You know how Misato is. She asks questions and learns things… Right you were Sohryu, now play it cool, don't lie if you don't have to.'
"A friend has an even worse father than I do." She could see Misato's tension on the sofa. "So I told them my story. What you told me. That they should not make the same mistakes I did. Clinging to a dream that's not going to happen, and not seeing the people they have."
Misato's heart plummeted. 'Did that person hurt Asuka like we hurt each other? And is it someone I know?' She had a suspicion about the latter but dared not to even form it in her mind.
"Then the things went different, they all but thanked me, hugged me, and told me I was Baka for not talking things with you, and that if you took me in and I come back on my own I'm already forgiven…"
Now Misato did not need a name. And she was both proud and saddened for Shinji. "That friend could give us a lesson or two," she said, choosing to respect the "friend of mine" play Asuka used.
"I'm not going that far. But, yep, sometimes they have a point," the redhead conceded with a smile.
"We need more rum and cola," said Misato after a while, looking at the empty glasses on the table. "Ew, I'm not starting on alcohol this side of sixteen," Asuka protested…
"Damn right you aren't. I'll take care of the rum. Now bring the drinks and I'll try to find us a watchable movie," said Misato cheerfully.
When Asuka got back with the drinks and a bowl of ice cubes she smiled and said a silly Japanese phrase she so far refused to use… "T-tadaima…"
It was as if someone lit a thousand watt light bulb in each of Misato's eyes. "Okaerinasai, Asuka-Chan," she replied with a smile…