Chapter 17
Clarke waited for Raven and Octavia to go find somewhere to bunk down for the rest of the night as she sat in front of the radio. She knew it was only going to be a few more minutes before her mother came back over the line. She was grateful that Raven had retrofitted the radio with an earphoned headset. At least this way, if anyone was paying attention to her conversation, they would only hear her side of it. She also wasn't sure what the rest of them would think when she started talking to her mother.
Clarke realized that she'd started to drift off when she heard a strange beep on the earphones. She woke up quickly and stared at the radio. She knew that she hadn't touched anything since Raven had gone to lay down. She knew better. Raven would kill her if she messed anything up. Plus, she honestly didn't know how to change anything. She was just sitting there waiting for her mother to call back once they were safely in medical. Then she heard the beep again.
"Clarke, you there?" Sinclair called over the radio.
"I'm here. I hear you. What's that beep?"
"That's your clock for now," he told her.
"Okay, good. I'll make sure to turn it up for Raven later," Clarke started. "Is Kane there with you?"
"Not at the moment, no. He said that he had to go take care of some things. He said that you'd understand, but said that he wanted a SITREP when he called back in the morning," Sinclair answered.
"Sounds good for now. Sinclair, is my mother alone? Are you on headphones?"
"Yes, and yes," he replied.
"Get my father's message from my mother. I wanted to broadcast at breakfast on a loop until lunch. By then, you'll know who is willing to help out. And, hopefully, we have a better game plan for it all. I'll keep Raven on the radio and working with you on getting the Ark down. We've got to prep for the storm and get ready to hopefully broker peace with our closest neighbors, even though we're in their backyard."
"Is there anything that you need to me to work on before I hand you over to your mother, Clarke?"
"There is one thing."
"And, what's that?"
"I need you to render all weapon systems inoperable. I know that we have nukes on board. I know that they can be fired. I don't care what you have to do, but make sure that it doesn't happen. Kane is working on getting override codes. Dismantle them, shoot them at Mars. I don't care, but make them unable to fly. Is that understood?" Clarke asked him.
"I'm not even going to ask how you know that, but I'll see what I can do. I'll make it look like we're doing maintenance," he replied. "And, after the broadcast, I'll get some engineers on it saying that we need the parts for the Ark. It shouldn't take to long to nullify them."
"Just get it done," Clarke ordered. "Please. Trust me, you'll thank me for that later."
"Raven says that...well, I'm listening."
"I understand, Sinclair. Now, please hand me over to my mother before I'm sure that she has a coronary by not being able to talk to me. Remember to let everyone know that if it isn't Octavia, Raven or myself, their ideas are not to be heard or followed. We've got this, Sinclair. Just do what you can for now."
"I will," he stated. "Here's your mom. Stay safe. See you down there, soon. May we meet again."
"May we meet again," Clarke stated automatically.
"Clarke?"
"Mom."
"How are you, Baby? I've been so worried. When your bracelet..."
"Mom, I know about Dad. I know that Wells took the blame, but I know it was you. He was trying to protect you for me. You owe him," Clarke replied.
She could picture her mom falling back into the chair like she'd punched her in the gut. She knew that her words would wound. It was what she wanted. She wanted her mother to know that she was pissed, but she also needed her to know that she forgave her. She loved her.
"Clarke, I never thought that Thelonius would..."
"I know, Mom. I know. And, honestly, that is the only reason that I'm talking to you. Jaha is trouble. He'll get you all killed if he's left in charge, but you don't need to worry about that right now," Clarke told her.
"I love you, Clarke."
"I love you, too, Mom, but we have things that we need to discuss."
"Like what, Baby?" Abby questioned.
"Do you want to tell me why you sent down a transfusion kit with Raven?"
"Only if you can answer a few questions of my own," Abby stated. "Are you alone? Do you understand what I am asking you?"
"I understand. Are you really alone? And, how much do you remember? Is this the first time for you?" Clarke demanded back in question.
"I am alone, Clarke. I've sent everyone away and I had the radio put in my office. As for what I remember, that is hard to say. I didn't remember anything until after I woke up in your cell for saving Jaha. It was after I sent you to the ground. It was then that I realized that what was going on had happened before. I don't have an explanation for it, but I know that it is the truth," Abby answered.
"Then why would you put a transfusion kit in Raven's stuff, Mom?"
"I don't know, Clarke. That doesn't make any sense. I know that I wanted to send you some more medical supplies, but I didn't know what to send you. I grabbed your medical bag. You know the one that I was making for you when you were interning with me and Jackson."
"Yeah, Mom, I remember that," Clarke stated.
"I sent that and whatever else I thought that I could skim off that wouldn't be noticed. I don't remember putting a transfusion kit in there. But, I would suggest that you use it and help whoever needs it," Abby told her.
"Mom," Clarke started, but she hesitated. "Have you tested your blood?"
"Clarke?"
"Prick your finger for me. Just a small prick. And, tell me what you see," Clarke demanded.
There was a pause and Clarke could only wonder if her mother was doing as asked. Clarke closed her eyes. She could only wonder what it meant. She hoped that maybe she was right, but then again, she hoped that she wasn't. She didn't want her mother to be a black blood, too. Because if she was, it would open so many more questions that Clarke would have to find the answers to. If her mother was going to start repeating this life, Clarke wondered what it would mean for them getting through this.
"Clarke..." Abby stated into the radio.
Clarke could hear her reluctance. She knew that her hypothesis was right. Abby didn't have to confirm it. Clarke knew by the tone in her voice that Abby was a black blood.
"It's black?"
"Yes," Abby breathed out. "How?"
"Look at your left hand."
"Okay?" Abby said.
"What initial is carved there?"
"What?"
"Look at your left hand. In the meaty part of it, who's initial is there? Is it a 'C' or an 'O,' Mom? I need to know," Clarke told her.
"It's an 'O,' baby," Abby replied.
"Octavia...okay. That means that you or she gave you her bone marrow. She made you a natblida. Why? I don't know. She didn't tell me about it. But, we've lived this life several times. The only thing that we have in common is the blood. I gave her mine one life and she woke up to remember the next time. I don't know why she chose you, Mom. It was probably for me."
"Why do you say that, Clarke?" Abby questioned.
"Because I died early."
"You what?"
"I died."
"How?"
"Which time?" Clarke blasely replied.
"Which time? How many times have you lived through this? Clarke? What aren't you telling me?"
"Remember that movie that Dad used to watch sometimes, with that comedian, the one with the groundhog that drives the car," Clarke started.
"Yeah, what about it? "
"That's me. Except this isn't a comedy. It's very real, and it sucks. I've tried changing things, but every time I die, I wake up back in lock up in the Skybox."
"I remember flashes of the ground," Abby admitted.
"That's how it was for me in the beginning. After a few times, the memories become more permanent and real. That is why I was asking about the mark. I marked O the first I gave it to her. When we met again, she still had the scare. So, even though everything is reset, we still bear the scars of the previous lives we've lived. I don't know why, and I don't know how. All, I know is that I'm trying to fix it and save everyone that I can," Clarke explained.
"You learned a new language?"
"Several, but mostly Russian and Trig."
"Trig?" Abby inquired.
"The language of the survivors," Clarke answered. "The Grounders had to develop their own shared language to protect themselves. It's actually quite fascinating when you learn the etymology of it. It is based on pre-bomb slang and English. But, that doesn't matter right now."
"No, I guess it doesn't," Abby replied.
"Mom, why did you sent down a transfusion kit?"
"I..."
"Mom?"
"I started to remember before I sent Raven down. I didn't have time before Kane came for me for getting Raven the regulator. I knew that you were close with her. I figured that my 'dreams' must have meant something. I was hoping that we could get ahead of things. I wanted her to survive the death wave, too. She's important to both of us, Clarke. She's smart. She'll help us figure it all out," Abby told her.
"It's for Raven?"
"And, anyone else that you think could handle it," Abby stated. "I don't know if you could get to Becca's lab. Is that right? Becca's lab? It's north of TonDC, right? Out on the ocean, past the boat people?"
"Yeah, Mom, it is."
"Okay, well, I don't think you have time or permission to head that way, yet, do you?"
"Nope, still trying to iron things out with Lexa and her people. At least we aren't war right now. For now, she's giving me the benefit of the doubt. I warned her about the hurricane and then told her we could meet again. I also kinda promised that we would help with the ripas and Mount Weather," Clarke told her.
"We'll deal with all that when we land. For now, stay safe and keep up what you're doing. You were right before."
"Before what?" Clarke asked her.
"I just remembered you being very angry with me inside our camp of Arkadia."
"Oh, yeah, why?"
"I don't remember the why, but I remember your words," Abby answered.
"Which were?"
"You may be Chancellor, Mom, but I'm the one in charge."
Clarke grimaced. She hadn't meant to upset her mother, but she needed to put her in her place. Indra had been rather happy about the exchange. Clarke groaned, internally, as she thought about trying to win Indra back over. Thankfully, she was sort of on their good side. They hadn't burned down the village. The Ark knew that the Earth was survivable. And, Lexa had already made a trek to TonDC and some unknown village of Belle. Clarke could only hope that it meant good things.
"I'm sorry, Mom."
"Don't be. I realized too late that you'd already read the political landscape. Kane told me as much. And, then so did Raven. I just didn't want to acknowledge that I sent you down in hopes that you'd survive, even though it was tantamount to a death sentence. I'm glad that you survived. I am so happy about that. I couldn't loose you, too, Clarke. I wouldn't have been able to bare it. When Jaha signed the order for your father and then you..."
"I know you wanted to kill him, Mom. All of us did or do. But, you found a way to save us anyway. Just keep doing that, and I'll take care of things down here. Just be ready to step up with Kane to lead. I need you both to keep things in order."
"I'll do my best, Clarke," Abby replied.
"That is all I ask."
"Clarke?"
"Yeah?"
"Can you do anything for Raven without going to Becca's lab?"
"I can try to give her my blood, but her body won't start producing it on her own until she gets marrow. You know that, but we can try it. If she'll go for it. I am going to pressure anyone into taking it."
"Just talk to her. Explain it to her. Maybe the more that you have on your side, the faster we can figure this thing out and you don't have to keep repeating it," Abby told her.
"God, I hope so. I need to get some rest. So do you. Just remember one thing for me."
"What's that?" Abby questioned.
"No matter what happens in the next few days, stay away from the Exodus ship and Diana Sydney. I need you, Mom. I need you alive. Jackson is a good doctor, but he isn't you," Clarke confessed.
"I love you, baby. Get some sleep. May we meet again," Abby replied.
"May we meet again, Mom. I love you," Clarke stated and then took off the headset.
She sat it down on the table in front of the radio and then pulled the plug for it. She wanted to hear the hourly beep that Sinclair had set up. They needed to be able to mark the passage of time while they were stuck in the drop ship. Especially after the hurricane hit. She knew that it would be hours after the eye hit before they would be able to open the doors and not be in trouble. She stood up and moved across the way.
Sitting down near her little clinic area, she saw Raven and Octavia already asleep. She smiled at her friends. She moved over to her little bedding area and started to get in. Octavia rolled over and looked at her. Eye wide and wondering.
"So..." Octavia started.
"So, what?" Clarke replied.
"How'd the talk with your mother go?"
"Good, I guess."
"Yell at her?" O asked.
"Did you hear me yell at her?"
"Well, no, but you're good at the verbal bitch slapping, so," Octavia stated.
"I guess I am."
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"She's natblida, too."
"How?" Octavia asked, sitting up, now fully awake.
"You," Clarke said.
"When?"
"I don't know, O. But, I remember thinking that we should mark everyone so we know who's marrow we used. You have a 'C.' I have an 'O,' but it should really be an 'L.' She's got an 'O.' She doesn't remember why or how, but she knows that you gave it to her. She said something about you were trying to make it right again. She didn't know what that meant, but she doesn't have full memories, either. Just flashes and what she thinks are dreams," Clarke explained.
"Could it be that mine is more diluted than yours?" Octavia asked.
"I don't know, O. I really don't. But, Mom sent down some transfusion kits. She wants me to start with Raven," Clarke said.
"But, I thought that we needed to use marrow."
"We do, I think. But, she wants me to try on Raven, using my blood, if she goes for it. If this works, then we can start treating people earlier, especially those from the Ark. Meaning more people to survive Praimfaya. But, it also means that natblidas wouldn't be special anymore, so we have to be careful."
"How can you just give her your blood?"
"If you'd ever gone to a doctor on the Ark before you were found out, you would have known. We all have the same blood type. Years of experimenting and need caused it to happen. We are all universal donors," Clarke stated.
"Which means we really have to make sure that we never end up in the Mountain."
"I don't plan on it. After the storm, I'm going to start working on the layout inside. We need to get a few ripas and start weaning them. I'll have Raven start working on a shock baton or defibrillator next. We take out the dam. We take out the tunnels. We take out the Mountain."
"And, all the innocent people?" Octavia questioned.
"We'll find Emerson or someone else. We'll give them a price. They won't pay it, but hopefully Maya Vie will stand up and lead them to safety," Clarke answered.
"We need to brief everyone after the storm."
"We only to brief a few more people," Clarke countered.
"Who?"
"The only people that I honestly trust and those that I want to stand with us until the end, O. The only people I know that will fight for what is right. The only people that I would trust making natblida."
"And, who else is there?"
"Monroe, Harper, Monty, Emori, Anya, and Murphy."
"What about Finn, Jasper, Wells, and Bellamy?" Octavia asked.
"I guess that depends on what happens between now and the Mountain, doesn't it?"
"Yeah, we have to make sure that Finn doesn't go postal and get executed. We can't let Jasper get caught, or we have to make sure that Maya survives. Wells is well...Jaha's kid, so... And, Bellamy has to not be an idiot for a few months. This is going to be harder than it looks. What about Lincoln?"
"If he agrees, I will do him myself, O."
"And, the rest of the Ark?"
"Guess that depends on the treaty and if they are worth saving after they land," Clarke said as she closed her eyes and tried not to dream about all the lives that she took to protect a "clan" of people that once called her their own, who weren't worthy of the blood, and who she wasn't sure was worth all the trouble that she was going to go through to try to keep them all alive.
"Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown. Shakespeare had never been more right," Clarke thought.