Kazuma's POV
Why am I under the kotatsu with my sister and my girlfriend? I'd be fine with just 1 of them, but both? Megumin makes it less appropriate for Iris and Iris prevents us from going too far! It's a catch 22…
"Onii-chan, is this what you do everyday? Just hang under the kotatsu?"
Dammit! I can't let her know I'm a NEET!
"Actually, onii-chan and his party go out on adventures pretty often. Just the other day, we did a giant toad kill quest."
"I thought that you guys were strong enough to take on much stronger enemies."
"W-well, there were no other quests available and Darkness seemed to be excited for it."
"It's fairly easy for me to deal with them as my explosion magic can blow them right away!"
"You're leaving out the part where you can't move and I have to carry you."
"Come on! You like it."
"I guess it is nice to have your soft little- mmph!"
Why?! Why in hell did she just kiss me?! She could've, oh I don't know, interrupted with her voice instead of kissing me in front of my little sister again! It's not like I dislike it, but still.
"Looks like you 2 are having fun, huh?"
"Never better~"
"Yeah. Fun. Megumin? Please tone it down in front of my sister."
"Iris?"
"I'm fine with it. If Boss and onii-chan are happy then so am I!"
Iris had the most pure smile that I'd ever seen, one not tainted by smugness, pride, or lust. Just… happiness.
"To think that onii-chan and boss both found love! I can only hope to one day say the same about myself."
I patted Iris on the head, causing her to smile even wider, then went back to giving all my attention to Megumin.
"You know, it's starting to get hotter. Summer's coming in hot."
Megumin does have a point. Come to think of it, my birthday's coming up. I wonder what the girls will do for it.
"The Kotatsu's heated by Rominite (Roe-min-ite). It basically amplifies and prolongs the temperatures of spells. I use it with tinder or freeze to make a heater or cooler."
"That's cool! Onii-chan's the best at making new inventions!"
"Yep! Maybe one day, you'll do something just as well, Iris!"
"Kazuma did just make that out of something that already existed in his previous country."
"Maybe so, but the way that it worked was far different. I told you 2 about electricity, right? Well, the kotatsu would normally use that, and it normally wouldn't be able to cool. However, with Rominite, I can control the temperature! It's like a mini heating/cooling system! Freeze!"
Immediately, the kotatsu cooled down to the point where it was slightly colder than the temperature outside.
"Why don't you tell me more about your home, onii-chan?"
"Gladly. Help me out where you can, Megumin!"
"Yep. I can't have Kazuma lying about himself, now can I?"
With that, I began telling her stories of things that happened while I was a guard, eventually reaching the point where I got to Axel.
"That's where I met Aqua. God, I wonder what would've happened if I never met her. Maybe I would've joined a better party, one that didn't give me a headache every time I got my hands on a single eris. Then again…"
The memories. And Megumin.
"It wasn't all bad."
That's strange… It almost looked like Megumin was about to cry for a second-
"Ow! What was that for?"
"Y-you were saying something stupid."
"What, you wanted me to say that it's all bad?"
"No! I just…"
Why is she blushing? Did I do something wrong?
"I just can't imagine what my life would've been like if you didn't accept me into your party. I… I'd rather not talk about it around Iris, so why don't we… Talk about it in bed?"
Huh?
"Ok. Sure."
"So assistant! How have things been in the capital?"
"I was actually quite fortunate to have left when I did. I heard that there was an investigation on a certain someone who's been bombarding the devil king's old castle."
Uh oh.
"R-really now, huh? Gee, I hope that they figure it out soon. G-good luck with that, assistant!"
I don't think Megumin's face has a drop of blood in it.
"On top of that, we've been taking a look at some thefts that have been occurring. Various valuables have disappeared from the houses of nobles, no doubt due to that chivalrous thief."
"Huh, r-really now? I guess Megumin and I should stay out of that, considering that we'd probably make it worse somehow…"
"I-is that what you think of me? You think that I'll make everything worse? Well I'll have you know-"
"What I'm saying is that you're a major fan of that guy! I've even heard from Vanir that you have an interest in him!"
"I-I mean, he is quite interesting, but he isn't quite as Kazuma as Kazuma is. He's kinda a more composed, cooler version of you."
...So he is."
"Which is why I like you more."
"Huh?!" x2
"One of my favourite things about you is your uncomposed side! You'll come up with a clever plan against the devil king's generals while we get destroyed by giant toads. You berate us and yell at us, but you really care for all of us. And… you're a mega-perv who sexually harrasses every girl he comes across, but you'll never really do anything that far. And you can never finish me off in the end."
"H-hey! Iris is right here!"
"I didn't know that you thought of him so highly, boss!"
"Kazuma, can't I speak the truth about my lover to my assistant?"
"Not so explicitly! She's less than 13…"
"Almost as old as I was when we started our journey!"
"S-still! Talking about that in front of my younger sister just… seems wrong."
"You're just worried that she'll think that you're a perv!"
"I think that I have a good grasp on onii-chan from my time with him at the capitol. Speaking of, I need to leave now. I'm supposed to get teleported back to the capital with Rain and Claire. I'll be seeing both of you!"
I waved my little sister goodbye as I watched her leave the kotatsu and shut the door behind her as she left the house.
"Now that she's gone…"
I don't like that smile one bit.
"Why don't we have some fun?"