Kazuma's POV
"This is so rad! I finally have a super amazing spell that I can actually use! Hm… I know! I'll make an illusion of myself calling Megumin outside and make an illusory giant toad!"
"...You stupid goddess! I swear-"
"You swear what?! If it weren't for my followers, you'd be dead before you met us!"
What's going on?
"Hey, guys! Come out! I need some help here!"
"Coming Kazuma-"
I think Aqua and Megumin just figuratively crapped their pants. I'm just going to make another illusion of me killing it…
"Woah, Kazuma! Where'd the toad go? I must protect my party members no matter how many awful things they say about me and my father!"
"Back up a sec, what did they say?"
"Don't you just believe this mega-perv! I was just reminding her that you're taken!"
"What exactly did you call them, Megumin?"
"Anyways, breakfast is ready and I don't want to keep you waiting!"
I'm gonna have to ask about that later. This goo is good, though.
"So how do you like my grasshopper gruel?"
I guess that's to be expected of someone who spent much of their life living on the land. Darkness and Aqua don't look too happy, though.
"You're what?! A-as a member of the Dustiness family, I cannot eat such garbage!"
"You were enjoying it before, weren't you?"
"Why are you feeding a goddess bugs? I don't deserve bugs, I need high-quality foods and tuna mayo!"
"Hey, I think it's pretty good."
"Shut up, Kazuma! You're only saying that because Megumin made it!"
"So what if I am?"
"Huh?" X3
"What was that, Kazuma?"
I feel like a staff to the throat is a bit extreme.
"What I meant was that anything that Megumin makes is amazing! She could literally make a frog slime sandwich and I'd still eat it!"
"I'm not sure if that's a compliment or an insult to me…"
"It's neither! I swear, the only thing as high as your explosion skill is our cooking skills!"
"Ah."
"Besides, Aqua, we slept in a stable next to literal horse shit for a month and now you're complaining about eating bugs?"
"Hmph! Fine, but only if you get me a nice bottle of booze."
"I have a better idea."
Intoxication ray. Wiz said that it was pretty handy since she doesn't have enough money for liquor, shockingly enough.
"Woah, Kazuma! The sky is empty!"
"We're inside."
"Kazuma! Hit me with that too!"
"No way."
"I-I would not mind-"
"Shut up you perv!" X2
Why did Aqua want to day-drink? No clue. Wait, no, she's Aqua.
"So Megumin. What did you call her?"
"I… Uh…"
"I see. You know, you're being SO helpful right now. But guess what? I know that you crossed a line or 2. Darkness, please back off. I know that I'm quite attractive and my charms are hard to resist, but I'm happy with Megumin!"
Now, if I ever break up with Megumin- Nope. Never gonna happen.
"That's right. Darkness. You heard it yourself."
"I'm… going to bed."
She ran up to her room. It's the afternoon. God, when will she learn?
*ding dong*
"You know, that doorbell you invented is pretty convenient."
"Yeah. I even got 3 million yen from Vanir for it! Come in!"
"H-hi Megumin!"
She looks awfully tired.
"Hey, Yunyun. Have you come to challenge me in vain once more?"
"N-no! Wiz told me that Kazuma learned a new skill he wanted to show me!"
"Huh? I'm not getting you drunk."
…
…
"Very well then! A drinking contest-"
"No! Besides, Megumin's gonna lose in less than-"
"Alright, you're on! Kazuma, if you interfere at all, Yunyun will blow you up."
"Huh?! I- Oh! Right! Yeah, don't interfere with us!"
… This isn't going to end well.
###
"U-uh, Megumin? Are you sure you're ok?"
"Yesh…" *gulp gulp gulp*
This needs to end soon… Megumin's not just gonna have a killer hangover, she might get alcohol poisoning!
"Ok! I lost! I admit defeat! Please just stop!"
"I… I win again…" *plop*
"Kazuma? Are you sure you can carry her all by yourself?"
"This is a little heavy, but I'll manage. I've never carried her like this before…"
"Kazuma? Why are you touching her butt?"
"Hey, she fell on me like that, although I'm not complaining."
"You're not even trying to hide your depravity anymore…"
"My girlfriend is sleeping in my arms. You think I'm going to move around and risk waking her up? Anyways, I'm gonna take her home."
"A-actually, could I come too?"
"Huh?"
"I… kinda had a fight with my dad. He said that if I love my friends so much, I should just go live with them instead, so here I am!"
Oh. That's kinda sad.
"You can come with us. I'll let you sleep in Megumin's room and we'll sleep in my room."
"You 2 sleep together? I really should get on with finding a good guy…"
"Hey, you don't need to rush this kinda thing! Aqua and Darkness don't… have… Uh… Wiz… Chris… Uh… You're an excellent friend and person on your own!"
"Really? You mean it?"
That girl is way too easily manipulated.
"Yep! Make yourself at home!"
"How'd we get here so fast?"
"Teleport. Anyways, I'm going to go give Megumin a bath, so see ya later!"
"Wait!"
"What is it? Shouldn't I be allowed to give my girlfriend a bath?"
"I… I guess you're right… Fine then! Can I go first?"
"Huh?"
"I mean, Megumin's not awake! And what she smells like while asleep won't hurt her, right? You may as well just take her to bed."
"Fair enough. Alright, call me if you need anything."
"I… didn't expect you to give up so easily."
"Eh. I've changed a bit."
Now to take her back to my room. Sleeping with her isn't that embarrassing anymore.
"Kazuma?"
"Hey."
"I- Sorry. I forgot that you won't do that anymore."
"Finally. Took you long enough."
"Yeah. Did I win?"
"Mhm. You drank so much that Yunyun conceded."
"That's weird, I can't remember much after the first few gulps."
Really now, is that hard to believe? No. No, it isn't.
"Anyways, My head's hurting a bit so I'll just…"
"Woah, Megumin! I-if you do that, I might get the wrong idea!"
"Your intelligence is too high for that."
Fair. Snuggling with the girl of my dreams in bed isn't too bad.
"Mmmmm~ Hey, Kazuma?"
"I'm Kazuma."
"I love you."
…
…
"Are you serious? This isn't the alcohol talking, is it?"
"What? No! Honestly, do you think that little of me?"
She's giving me the death glare.
"Heh. I love it when you get worked up like this, yet you're always so focused and calm when you come up with those crazy underhanded plans. You're a walking paradox, you know? And you know what? I love that part of you."
"I… You're crazy, you're chuunibyou, you're barely in my strike zone, you're the- ok too far. I admit it, now stop holding a dagger to my throat. Where'd you even get that anyways?"
"Just go on already!"
"Fine. You're all that, but you're also cute, you have soft boobs, your hair-"
"Stop being a perv! Honestly, is that why you fell in love with me?"
"No, I'm getting to that. All that stuff's nice, but I love how driven you are. You care so much about everyone, your family, Yunyun, me… You care so much about everything and everyone, yet you won't hesitate to kill an innocent duck if it means a free meal or some XP. Heck, you're an even bigger contradiction than me. Still, it's that driven and caring side of you that I love."
"Say it, Kazuma."
"I'm getting to that. Do you want to take a bath with me?"
"Huh?!"
"I'm kidding! I love you, Megumin. More than anyone or anything else."
You know, maybe evening bed cuddling isn't so bad after all.