"I just want you to understand, that I know what all the fighting was for. And I just want you to understand, that I'm not angry anymore. No, I'm not angry anymore." - Ani DiFranco, Angry Anymore
(O.O)
She was angry at her sister's friends.
How could they all be so insensitive to her sister's pain?
It was so obvious that Buffy was mourning Spike and had been faking all the smiles with all of them but Giles and Willow took them as the truth and kept asking Buffy to do stuff for them as if what they did in Sunnydale to her sister was okay.
Did they ever apologize to Buffy?
She didn't think so. Willow was her usual bubbly self and more often than not talked to Buffy only when she needed something from her sister. If she had apologized, the witch would've noticed how uncomfortable her sister was with her, the one who also joined in throwing her out of her home.
Giles wasn't any different.
He rarely talked to Buffy these days, and when he did, like Willow, it was only to ask her sister to do something for the New Council of Watchers.
Both used to play significant roles in her sister's life, but now they were nothing more than her sister's boss or coworker.
It was sad.
But she guessed that was just how friendship worked. Once it burned out, there were no turning things back to how they were. She too stopped treating everyone like family. She no longer went to Willow for help with her assignments or to Giles when she needed fatherly advice.
When Sunnydale fell, so did the family she used to know and love.
Now, she only visited Giles or Willow when she needed something for school because Giles was the one paying for her studies. She was grateful for that, but it made it awkward for her since even though she no longer liked the man, she still had to talk to him.
She wished Buffy took care of things for her like she used to, but her sister also stopped treating her like a sister.
It wasn't okay, but she understood her reasoning.
Like Giles and Willow, she knew Buffy still felt betrayed by her when she kicked her out of the house back in Sunnydale.
Even though she tried to apologize for it, she knew Buffy still hadn't forgiven her for it.
Just like she hadn't forgiven herself for what she did.
Since life with everyone was hard for her, she made it her goal to leave. Once she finished school and went to college, she was going to study away from everyone. Maybe she'd go back to the States.
What's important was for her to get away from her sister and her friends. Because for her, it was better to live alone than to live with people but still feel alone.
To achieve her dream, she needed good grades. Hence, why she was on her way to talk to Giles and request money to pay for a school field trip.
As she neared the Watcher's door, she noticed that it was left ajar. She would've taken it as a sign that people were allowed to enter without knocking but before she could open the door, she heard something that changed the course of her life forever.
"So, Spike's going to stay in LA indefinitely?" Willow asked Giles.
"According to Andrew, this was what that vampire wanted," Giles replied.
"And we're not going to tell Buffy about this?"
"Of course, not! Buffy is finally free from that blasted vampire. The least we can do is keep his resurrection a secret."
She gasped loudly at what she heard, before rushing towards the next room to avoid being seen by Willow, who had heard the noise she made and was checking to see who made it.
Fortunately, she wasn't seen by the red-haired witch, so she let out a sigh of relief before her breath hitched and she felt like crying.
Spike was back.
She had no idea how. Or why he hadn't come back to them.
But what she did know was that he was back and Willow and Giles were doing their thing again and keeping this a secret from her sister!
God! The nerve of them!
She had half a mind to run inside that room and berate those two for doing this again to her sister. But she stopped herself. Calling them out wouldn't change their minds about what they believed was the right choice for her sister.
Her sister's friends could be self-righteous assholes in the worst of times and she knew that they wouldn't listen to her. They would be too busy thinking they were right and arguing with her that she was wrong or that she was just a kid that didn't know any better.
That just made her even angrier.
The best solution was to tell her sister.
But she stopped herself from doing that as well.
Spike didn't come to them after his resurrection for some reason and if she told her sister, who was mourning the vampire, about this, she would break even further.
She didn't want that.
So she opted to do option C in her list of what she should do in this situation.
What was option C?
Well, she was going to call Spike and ask him what his deal was. She was going to find out what the idiot was doing staying away from them and get him on a plane to London as soon as possible.
(O.O)
Despite the pain of his decision to stay away from Buffy, Spike found that he wasn't regretting it as much as he expected.
Sure, recently he found out that the bloke who he thought was his seer turned out to be a fraud, with a grudge against Angel. But he was already so used to people stabbing him in the back, that it no longer hurt that much. Plus, he did get a chance to save the Big Poof again.
Also, he found that he liked the company of Angel's team compared to the Scoobies. While the Scoobies had their moments and were reliable in stopping an apocalypse or two, he wouldn't put his life in their hands. They were more likely to dust him than help him.
Angel's crew though, he knew from experience, would help him regardless of who or what he was. Their moral standards were a tad higher than the Scoobies'.
He didn't know if it was because of Angel's Help the Helpless motto, the one that they all strive to embody, or if they genuinely were good people, but Spike found that he had a place with them compared to the Scoobies.
It was a novelty for him.
Being part of a group. Being relied on and not being constantly scrutinized. Even Angel called him from time to time to help out.
He liked it.
His heart still ached at the thought of his Slayer. But not to the point where he'd be compelled to take the first boat to Italy, where the Slayer was.
At the moment, he was liking the concept of being his own man for once in his entire existence.
He liked the fact that he got to focus on himself instead of others. He liked that he didn't need to rely on someone else's decisions. He liked-
His phone rang.
He stared at the Unknown Number on the screen and contemplated whether he should answer. Since he got the phone, he made sure to enter the contact information of everyone in Angel's crew. The only one he thought would call him on an Unknown Number was Andrew.
He didn't have that much of a high opinion on the boy and he was pretty certain that the young man had a crush on him. So he didn't like the idea of accepting a call from him.
Then again, the wannabe Watcher could be calling to tell him something important.
He sighed in resignation before pressing the answer button.
"'Ello?"
No response.
He checked the phone to see if the call didn't go through.
Yes. It was still an ongoing call.
"Hello? Anyone there?" He asked, sounding impatient.
If this was a prank call or a wrong number then he was dropping-
"Spike?"
He paused, immediately recognizing the voice on the other line.
"Dawn."
(O.O)
She finally cornered Andrew and got the information from him about Spike. The little weasel sang like a canary after she threatened to destroy all of his Star Wars figurines.
Eventually, she learned that Spike had been back since June, practically a week after what happened in Sunnydale. She found out that he'd initially been stuck as a ghost for over five months before receiving a package that returned him to his corporeal self.
Now, she would normally be furious at the vampire for not coming to them immediately after he got his body back, but she was smart and she knew that Spike probably tried to come home to them, but changed his mind because of his insecurities that were probably fueled by both Angel and his newly acquired soul.
She would bet a hundred bucks that the reason Spike hadn't gone to them was that he thought no one wanted him.
So she thought the best way to get the vampire to come to them was to talk to him and convince him of the error of his ways.
So she asked Andrew for Spike's contact information, which the creep provided, and made him promise not to tell anyone that she knew about Spike's return. She didn't need Giles or Willow putting a whammy on her to make her forget about her friend's return. She didn't trust them not to do that to her to keep her silent.
She locked herself in her room under the pretense of studying before finally dialing the number and waiting for someone to answer the call.
When someone did answer, she froze. A large lump got stuck in her throat as she heard the familiar accent on the other end.
"Hello? Anyone there?"
"Spike?" Her voice cracked as she uttered the name of the vampire she thought she'd never hear from ever again.
"Dawn."
She was crying. God, she missed him so much.
"Yeah. It's me. Your little Bit," she said with a teary smile.
The other end was silent and she was close to thinking that he might've ended the call.
"How did you get this number?"
"Andrew."
"I knew that little pest couldn't be trusted to keep a secret," she heard him mutter.
A vein popped in her head.
"So you really had no plan to tell us that you were back?" she snapped and immediately regretted her words. She wanted him to come home. He wouldn't do that if he thought she was still angry with him.
"Sorry, Bit-er, Dawn. I was going to tell Buffy eventually."
She winced. He was still hesitant to call her by the nickname that he had for her.
"First, you can call me Bit or Nibblet or whatever you prefer. I'm not angry with you anymore. Okay, that's a lie. I'm pretty ticked off with you. But not because of what you did in Sunnydale, and more because you came back to unlife and didn't inform us. Second, when did you plan to let us know you were back? When Buffy and I were old and gray? Don't lie, Spike, I know that if I hadn't called, you probably wouldn't have told us you were back unless you had to."
His silence on the other line told her that she was spot on.
"Anyway, I might be compelled to forgive you if you hopped on a plane or boat and came to England as soon as possible."
"Is that so?"
"Yes. It is so. I want you here, Spike. We missed you."
She heard him sigh. "I highly doubt that the Scoobies missed me that much, Bit."
"I'm not talking about the Scoobies!" she snapped. They all could burn for all she cared. Spike was coming home for her and Buffy.
"You're saying Buffy misses me?" He sounded surprised and Dawn really felt sorry for him.
How could he ask that? Didn't he know how much he meant to her sister? Of course, Buffy missed him.
Then again, her sister was never open about her emotions regarding the vampire. She wouldn't be surprised if her sister never told the vampire her real feelings for him.
"Yes, Spike, she misses you."
There was another pause on the other line.
"She told you this?"
"Okay, she didn't actually say it-"
She heard him sigh again.
"But I know she does Spike!" she said, hoping she'd convince him to come.
"Thank you, Bit. But I'm not coming there," he said, sounding defeated.
"But-"
"I miss you, Dawn. Like a lot. But I can't just leave whatever life I made here for your sister, or you."
It was her turn to go quiet. She hadn't expected Spike to decline her invitation to join them in England.
"I know it's hard to believe, but I've made a life here. I made friends, who actually care about me."
"But I care about you," her voice was small.
"I know. And you'll always be my first true friend, Dawn," he replied in that soft Spike voice that he used whenever he tried to console her.
There was something sweet and gut-wrenching in the thought that he considered her his first true friend.
Didn't he have other friends before her?
Knowing the life he lived before meeting the Scoobies, she didn't think so.
"But you have to understand, Bit, here in LA, they don't just care about me. They actually like me. They respect my opinions and they aren't ashamed of me. I'm not saying that you're not any of those, but I can't say the same for Buffy and the Scoobies. If I go there, there's no guarantee that they would welcome me with open arms."
She wanted to protest, tell him that he was wrong. However, considering Giles and Willow were trying to keep his return a secret from her sister, she knew that there were truth to his words.
It hurt her, but she knew Spike didn't deserve the treatment everyone gave him. Not just from the Scoobies, but by Buffy as well. She couldn't begrudge him for wanting to stay with people who actually wanted him.
Sure, she wanted him too, but she wasn't going to subject him to the same humiliating treatment he had to endure in Sunnydale. She loved him too much to do that to him.
"For the first time in my life, I am my own man. I'm not living to anyone's expectations other than my own."
She understood what he meant. She'd been trying to live independently too. And wasn't it just last night that she had decided to focus on nothing else other than getting to college to escape everyone and be free of her sister and her friends?
"Please don't be angry, Nibblet." She didn't miss the pleading sound in his voice. He apparently took her silence as a bad thing.
So she rushed to reassure him. She wasn't angry. Sure, she was disappointed, but she understood him.
After that, they talked about simpler things. Like what he did for Angel and his crew, how Buffy and the rest were doing, and how she was adjusting to her new school.
It was nice, talking to him like this, renewing their friendship, and just plain old catching up.
This was what she missed from him. The easy way she could just open up to him and he would respond to her with a little snark. He always listened to her and he didn't treat her like a kid.
God, she missed him.
Their phone call lasted for about an hour and thirty minutes before she had to say goodbye. She didn't want Giles to find out about their interactions through a massive phone bill. They promised each other that they would call each other again in the future and Dawn sat down on her bed with a smile.
Again, she was disappointed that Spike didn't want to come after them in England, but that was okay. If he wasn't coming to them, she was going to get her sister to go to him instead.
The wheels in her head were already turning and she was now in the process of creating a foolproof plan to get her sister her man back and to get her best friend slash big brother back into her life.
TBC
(O.O)
THANKS FOR READING.