The song in this chapter is called "You Are The Reason" by Calum Scott. Please enjoy the update.

(O.O)

After the call from Dawn, he felt a part of his soul mended. The heaviness he used to feel lifted at the forgiveness he received from the Bit.

It meant so much to him.

Though he still missed Buffy, talking to her sister eased the loneliness he was feeling.

It also felt nice for someone to say they understood his reasons for staying away.

He knew it was selfishness on his part that he decided to stay away. While he really was happy to learn that Buffy was doing alright, he didn't want to go back to her and feel like shit for ruining the perfect life that she always wanted.

Having the soul at least made him care a little bit about what he deserved. And he knew that he didn't deserve the same hot-cold treatment she'd been giving him.

And there were some days where he wondered if he made the right choice to stay away from Buffy and the rest of the Scoobies, but he was still glad that his Bit didn't judge him or get angry at him for it. She understood him and that made him love her even more.

Life went on for him. A month passed and though he still had bouts of depressive thoughts about how much he missed his Slayer, they were lessened by helping Angel and his crew as well as the calls he got from Dawn, who gave him updates on her sister's condition.

Unlife was going well for him.

Little did he know that it was going to get better.

He was awakened by an incessant knocking on his apartment door. He would've ignored it but the noises weren't going away, so he stood up, and put his pants and a shirt on.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm coming," he said as he walked towards the door, all while he put on his signature duster.

He opened it, ready to yell at whoever it was that disturbed his sleep. But his words got stuck in his throat as he saw who it was.

Buffy.

(O.O)

She hated that it took them a month to get their affairs in the Council settled in order for her and Dawn to leave and go back to the States.

She had a hard time convincing Giles and Willow that she wanted to leave the Council. Neither liked the idea of her retiring too soon, since, according to them, there was still a lot of work to be done to successfully set up a place where Slayers could be trained and nurtured into warriors who would be able to stop apocalypses.

Even though she was the one who approved of the spell to turn all Potentials into Slayers, she still didn't like the idea of introducing all these girls into their world, which was full of death, destruction, and loss.

Unfortunately, Willow and Giles thought differently. The two of them thought that having an army of Slayers put them at an advantage for any world-ending scenarios. They thought it was a good idea to gather these girls as soon as possible and get them to start training so they would be prepared.

The two also thought it would be easier to train these girls with her there since she knew firsthand what it took to be a Slayer. It was for this reason that they didn't want to approve of her decision to retire.

Too bad for them, she was stubborn and had good motivation to leave.

Their pleas and reasons were easily shot down by her.

Buffy, the mini Slayers need you. You're the only one who can train them. Willow said.

To which, she quickly told her that no, the Slayers don't need her. Dozens of other Slayers could replace her and take charge of their training. She wasn't needed for them to grow into their Slayer skins.

You're the oldest Slayer. You can inspire them and motivate them. Giles had added.

But she was firm in her decision that she wanted to leave and was quick to inform the two that if they didn't let her retire then she would just leave with Dawn in the dead of night without notifying them and then, they would never see her again.

This seemed to convince them faster because they decided to give her what she wanted with a promise that if she was ever needed, she would come and help them. She agreed to this. But specified that she would only come during real emergencies and not because they wanted her to do something, they knew someone else could've done it instead of her.

It took more time to negotiate on what to do for her and Dawn's finances.

Since she wasn't going to be working for the Council, Giles acted a bit hesitant to give her an allowance. Luckily for her, Willow wasn't as heartless and had talked it over with her ex-Watcher and they agreed that although she was no longer working for the Council, she did spend nearly 8 years of her life saving the world. The least they could do for her was to finance her retirement.

After that, they proceeded to discuss what they would do with her classes and the Slayers she would be leaving. Buffy very quickly resolved this by assigning her girls to other Senior Slayers and having them take care of their training.

After a month, they finally were ready to leave.

They still hadn't told Giles and Willow of their plans to visit Spike, only that they planned to go to San Francisco to visit their Aunt Arlene and stay at her home for a few weeks before they would look for a more permanent place for themselves. Her friends didn't suspect a thing and even arranged for a small gathering at Giles' office as a farewell party.

The day after the party, Dawn and Buffy took a plane to San Francisco, before taking a bus that would take them to LA. When they got to LA, they immediately went to a hotel and paid in cash to crash there for a couple of nights.

Dawn agreed that she would be the first to visit Spike. The teen knew that her sister needed to see and talk to him before all three of them did anything.

Buffy was grateful for that. She had a lot of things that she wanted to say to her vampire and she didn't think she would have the courage to say any of those things if her sister was there.

She needed time alone with Spike, so she hugged her sister and left their hotel room before taking a cab to her vampire's apartment.

It was around six in the evening when she arrived at Spike's place, an address they got from Andrew. She stared at his door in apprehension. She still couldn't shake the feeling that this was not going to end well for her.

Spike had a life in LA and maybe this was a mistake, she thought.

She wanted to back out.

But didn't. She needed to do this. She's already gotten too far, and so she steeled herself and knocked at the door. When no one answered on the first knock, she tried again and again. She knew Spike was inside. She felt the familiar tingle at the back of her neck letting her know of his presence.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm coming," she heard him say from inside. A moment later, the door opened and she came face to face with the vampire she never thought she'd see again.

Spike.

"There goes my heart beating

'Cause you are the reason

I'm losing my sleep

Please come back now."

Her dreams didn't even come close to the real thing. He wore a fitted black shirt under his favorite duster and his hair as usual was slicked back. But it was the eyes that proved to her that this was not a dream. While the Spike in her dreams still looked at her with wonderful expressions of love and devotion, for some reason there was always something off about the coloring of his eyes in her dreams.

In her dreams, his eyes seemed to change color every night. But she'd shrugged it off because all she cared about was seeing Spike.

Now that she was standing in front of the real thing and staring intently into his eye, she realized that her mind was wrong about his eyes.

Azure. She remembered reading an article about that color of eyes. She remembered thinking that azure was a pretty color.

Spike's eyes were exactly that shade and she found another thing that she loved about it.

"Buffy?" He whispered.

This broke her out of her musing and brought her back to reality. She was standing in front of him, she remembered and, though she had no idea how she did it, she summoned enough strength to greet him.

"Hello, Spike," she said with a small smile, before jumping into his arms and hugging him with all her might.

And there goes my mind racing

And you are the reason

That I'm still breathing

I'm hopeless now

God, if this is a dream, don't let it end. He thought as he returned her embrace and took in her smell.

He missed her so much. The familiar scent of vanilla and lavender assaulted his nose, bringing him so much joy.

They stood there by his door for who knows how long, just hugging and taking in each other's presence. After a while, they finally eased their embrace of each other but didn't let go. Instead, they adjusted their hold just so they could stare at each other's eyes.

He watched the awe and reverie in her eyes as she continued to stare at his face.

"You're really here," she said with a teary smile.

"Yeah. But how did you know?"

"Dawn told me."

Of course, she did. His little Bit probably planned on telling her sister from the start, since he got off the phone with her. He was a bit ticked off with her for that. But at the same time, he was thanking the girl for bringing his Slayer to him.

"You should've told me," she said, softly. No trace of anger in her voice.

He knew she was right. He should've told her.

But he had been a coward.

All the reasons he had told himself several months ago seemed trivial because right now, she was here. She came for him.

"I'm sorry," he told her.

She shook her. "Don't be sorry. Dawn told me your reasons. I guess you had every right to look out for yourself this time around, especially after everything that happened in Sunnydale and what I put you through."

She looked down and sounded sad and remorseful, and it broke his heart.

He cupped her cheek to make her look up to him.

"Hey."

She stared into his eyes.

"A lot of things happened back in Sunnyhell. Some good, plenty of bad. But listen to me, I never regretted a single one of them, because they all happened together with you."

She swallowed the lump in her throat.

"And I'll never regret what I had with you, Buffy."

I'd climb every mountain, and swim every ocean

Just to be with you, and fix what I've broken

Oh, 'cause I need you to see, that you are the reason

"But you stayed away," she said.

"I didn't go to you cause I thought you were happy and living the life you always wanted. And I didn't want to muck things up by coming back and ruining everything you made for yourself."

She shook her head again.

"I wasn't living. Not in the way you thought. I wasn't even happy. I was just going through the motions. I missed you too much to move on. I was wearing a mask for everyone but every day without you, I felt like dying."

His eyes were apologetic. "Oh, pet, I never meant to hurt you because of it."

She shook her head.

"It's all in the past," she told him, moving closer to him. "You're here now. That's all that matters."

She then leaned in and gave him a gentle kiss on the lips similar to the one she'd given him after Glory tortured him.

The awe he sent her way was something she'd never get tired of. Spike had always been an expressive creature. All his feelings showed in his face and now that she'd seen him again she kicked herself for doubting him.

He never stopped loving her. It was clear to see in his eyes that he still thought the world of her.

She wished her face was just as expressive. It would've been so much easier for her if he could simply look into her eyes and see that she loved him the same way he loved her.

Since that wasn't the case, she opted to be more proactive, just like she had done so many times in her dreams.

"I want you," she whispered.

His eyes widened at her words.

"A-are you sure, pet?"

She felt happy.

This was indeed the real Spike. The one in her dreams never questioned her desire for him.

At the same time, she was saddened because she knew the real reason for Spike's hesitancy to make love to her.

So she leaned towards him again and kissed him one more time. This time she was less gentle in her kiss, making sure she ignited his desire for her.

Once their lips parted, she whispered, "I'm sure. Make love to me, William."

That was all he needed. He took her in his arms and gave her a searing kiss, before dragging them inside his apartment.

At least his kisses were the same as the ones in her dreams. It had the same intensity and passion that made her feel so hot inside.

She reciprocated in return, leaning closer to him. Her mouth opened wider and allowed him entrance. Their tongues danced around each other.

Meanwhile, her hands wrapped around the lapels of his duster before pushing it off him. His hands were busy as well.

One of his hands removed his shirt, while the other focused on the buttons of her blouse. Their mouths were still connected throughout all this.

Once his shirt was removed, her hands were immediately on his chest, rubbing his rippling muscles and Adonis-like abs. At the same time, his hand had successfully unfastened two buttons of her blouse and was now toying with her now visible breasts. She moaned as he pinched her nipples.

She was so glad that she hadn't worn a bra that day.

His other hand had moved to her butt, squeezing and pulling her close to his already hardening erection. She rubbed herself against his dick until she heard him groan in pleasure.

His mouth left hers and he rested his forehead against her shoulder. He simply wanted to enjoy the sensation of her rubbing against his prick while her hands were exploring his body. He didn't get the chance to savor the sensation for too long though because she had decided she wanted to taste him some more and bit the sensitive part of his neck that was next to Drusilla's sire mark.

"Buffy!" He cried in pleasure.

There goes my hands shaking

And you are the reason

My heart keeps bleeding

I need you now

If one were to ask how they got to his bed, neither of them would know what to say. Both of them had been so lost in their lust, ecstasy, and pleasure that they didn't care how they made it there.

At the moment, she was sprawled beneath him, her hair spread on his pillow, and she was staring up at him full of desire, longing, and love.

That's how he always wanted her to look at him and it made him wonder, not for the first time since he opened the door earlier, what he did to deserve her. After what he'd done to her back in Sunnydale, he never thought he'd have a chance to see her like this again. He never thought he'd ever be allowed to touch her this way again.

"Are you really sure you want this, Luv?" He asked one more time.

She leaned forward, meeting his lips.

"I want this, Spike. I want you. So please, touch me."

Never one to deny his girl's wishes, he did as she asked. He first leaned down to give her another kiss on the lips, before slowly moving to her cheek all the way down her neck, leaving light butterfly kisses on his way. His hands were occupied with her breasts, messaging them and pinching them, eliciting a wonderful moan from her.

He reached her neck, sucked on the part behind her ear, loving how she cried his name and arched her back in pleasure.

He wasn't done yet.

He left her neck and slowly made his way down, stopping at one of her breasts to give it a quick bite and suck, before moving down to her already wet pussy.

He licked his lips.

Such a lovely sight. A wonderful treat, just for him.

Once again, he looked up to his goddess, asking silently for permission to allow him to touch her.

She merely smiled at him, eyes shining with lust and desire. She nodded, before tilting her head back as he entered her opening with his tongue.

His eyes never left hers as he ate her up. His full lips isolating her clit and sucking hard, forcing another moan from her lips.

God, she is beautiful. He thought, as he continued his ministrations.

He felt her hand grab his hair before forcing him further inside her. Good thing he didn't need to breathe because she was pushing him deeper until mouth and nose were practically buried inside his girl. He decided to focus on the task at hand, licking and sucking her up, feeling intoxicated by her taste.

He heard her calling his name in pleasure, repeating it like a mantra. She was shuddering, telling him that she was close to her first orgasm, but immediately stilled when he heard her say, stop.

He hurriedly pulled back, and nearly jumped off the bed.

Did I go too far? Was I hurting her?

Such thoughts raced through his head. But before he could pull away from her, he was suddenly flipped on his back before being pulled up until his head reached the bedpost.

He stared up at her, surprised and confused.

His girl was smirking down at him.

"I want you to cum before me," she said before she lowered herself towards his erect member and swallowed him whole.

"Fuck!"

And if I could turn back the clock

I'd make sure the light defeated the dark

I'd spend every hour, of every day

Keeping you safe

She almost forgot how talented her vampire was at oral sex. His tongue alone was enough to give her the best orgasm she ever had.

However, as much as she wanted him to get her off, tonight wasn't about her needs. Tonight was supposed to be for him. To show him how important he was. To show him how much she missed him.

She bobbed her head and sucked and licked her vampire's well-endowed cock. She flattened out her tongue to run it against his penis' head, getting a loud groan from him at the sensation she was causing.

She wasn't done yet.

Her mouth left his dick, and went to his balls and started sucking and biting them, while she used her hand to grab his manhood, which was already leaking with precum. As she sucked his ballsack, her hand was stroking him. Her thumb moved in a circular motion on the head of his penis before she used her nails to lightly scratch it, eliciting another moan from her vampire.

Moments later, she left his balls alone and glanced quickly at Spike. His eyes were staring at her with a combination of lust and adoration. She smiled at him, before diving down to swallow his glorious cock as far as she could manage.

Her eyes continued to look at him, and watched as her vampire became undone by her ministrations. He was arching his head, panting and calling out her name as she continued to bob her head up and down. She felt him thrusting erratically and she knew he was getting close to coming.

Her eyes left his and she decided to focus on her mission to get him off. She continued to suck him, meeting his thrusts, until she felt him shake and hot liquid was filling her throat before she swallowed his cum.

She released his cock from her mouth, before looking back up at him. He was dazedly staring at her, and slowly she crawled up so she could reach his lip, making sure her breasts were grazing his body.

She gave him a kiss.

"Did you like that?" She asked, almost shyly.

Truthfully, she was still self-conscious about her abilities when it came to sex. Spike was such an experienced partner that more often than not she was afraid she'd disappoint him with her skills, or her lack of them, so to speak.

He placed a hand on her head, caressing her, as he answered.

"I loved it. You were too bloody perfect, Luv."

He was smiling at her and at that moment she was about to tell him that she lo-

She was flipped on her back again, her vampire staring down with a smirk.

"I got off, pet. I think it's your turn," he told her, raising his eyebrows suggestively.

She laughed. He had just gotten off seconds ago and yet she could feel him slowly hardening above her.

"So how do you want to get off? With my tongue?" He asked before moving to her neck and licking it.

"Or with my fingers?"

He pinched her nipple, making her gasp in surprise.

Honestly, she'd get off with just his voice. Spike had one of those sexy and husky voices that women loved to listen to.

But at that moment, she knew exactly what she wanted him to do.

"You, Spike. I want to get off with you inside me," she said, wrapping her arms around his neck.

He looked surprised at first, before giving her the same look he gave her when she came down from the steps of her home a few hours after her resurrection. He was looking at her like he couldn't believe what she said but at the same time like she just handed him the world, making him the happiest man on earth.

God, she loved that look on him.

Her lips brushed his, before she whispered the same words she said to him earlier that evening.

"Make love to me, William."

"Your wish is my command, my Love," he said as he positioned his dick at her entrance.

She didn't have time to respond as he entered her in one fast motion. She shut her eyes and simply enjoyed the feeling of his cock filling her up.

God, this was another thing her dreams had right. He filled her so well that she wondered how she lasted so long without having sex with him in those final days at Sunnydale.

She knew the reason why she didn't though.

She was a coward back then. An indecisive idiot who didn't know what she had until it was gone. She regretted so many things that involved Spike.

However, seeing him on top of her, eyes closed shut to savor the feeling of her wrapped around his aching member, whispering her name like a prayer, made her regrets disappear.

She was given a second chance with him and she planned to make the most of this second chance.

She couldn't turn back time and take back all the pain she had caused him. But she could move forward and shower him with all the love he deserved from her.

She leaned up once again and kissed his forehead.

"Move, my Spike," she said.

And I'd climb every mountain

And swim every ocean

Just to be with you

And fix what I've broken

Oh, 'cause I need you to see

That you are the reason

And that was all it took, he slowly moved in and out of her, until he found a good rhythm where he made sure he hit her sweet spot every time he entered her.

She moaned and cried in pleasure as she met his thrusts.

His mouth went to her neck again and started sucking her, adding another source of pleasure to her already overdriving system.

Her arms wrapped around his back and neck, pulling him closer to her as she cried his name, over and over again.

It didn't take long before she felt herself getting close to the edge.

"I'm close, Baby," she told him, still meeting his thrusts.

"Me too, Luv," he grunted, "Together?"

She simply nodded, loving the feeling when his thrusts became more erratic. Then she felt it.

Her toes curled and she clung closer to him as they both came. They had each other's names on their lips as the last part of their orgasm came to an end.

He pulled out, before dropping beside her on the bed. He let out a satisfied sigh.

She pulled his arm up so she could lay on it and hugged him from the side.

"One of our best, ain't it, pet?"

"I'd say there's still a lot of room for improvement. I suggest practicing more to make it perfect." She didn't bother hiding the mirth in her voice.

He snorted.

His hand caressed her head as she laid it on his chest.

"I missed this," she said.

"Me too, Luv," he replied.

"I love you," she said softly.

He tensed. Did he hear that right?

Sensing his tension, she propped up a bit so he could see her serious expression.

"I love you, Spike. I want you to believe me."

There was still doubt in his eyes, and it broke her heart to see him still not believing her after what they just shared.

"Buffy, I-"

"No. I don't think you understand."

She was sitting up now. Ignoring the soreness below, and focusing on giving him a better view of her.

She still wasn't good with words. But she needed to get this out because it was one of the things her dreams never allowed her to do.

Prove to him that she really loved him.

So she was taking a page from his book and giving him a speech similar to the one he gave her in Sunnydale.

"Spike." She swallowed the lump in her throat. "William, when I say I love you, it's not because I want you, or so I can get you back – it has nothing to do with me. I love what you are, what you do, how you try…"

Memories of all the times he tried his best to be the kind of man she wanted flashed through her mind.

She swallowed the lump in her throat again.

"I've seen your kindness, and your strength, I've seen the best and the worst of you and I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are."

She reached out to him and cupped his cheek. She also noticed that she had tears in her eyes.

"You're the man I love. The demon, who sought his soul for me. The demon, who saved my sister and protected my friends while I was gone. The man and demon, who has a place in my heart. I love you, Spike. Please believe me."

She couldn't control herself and she was sobbing. She really wished what she said was enough because she had no idea what else to tell him. He was so important to her and yet she couldn't come up with anything else to say to him.

It was embarrassing, because she had all these months to prepare, yet that was all she had. She hated herself for it. She-

He pulled her to him and gave her a kiss.

That was enough to shut her up and then he parted from her and allowed her to see the expression on his face.

It was a combination of gratitude, happiness, and love all rolled in one.

This time he was the one cupping her cheeks, staring at her straight in the eyes.

"I believe you," he stated.

This only made her cry harder.

All these months of dreaming of him, missing him and wishing she had done something different, came rushing back. Hearing those words, opened the floodgates of her emotions, coming out of her in tears.

Spike pulled her into his arms and whispered words of comfort and love. Things she wanted to hear from him since he died at the Hellmouth.

"I believe you, Luv."

TBC

(O.O)

Anyway, thanks for supporting this fic, and hope to see you in the next chapter, which will be posted on or before Friday. Bye!