why hello again! This is a really short chapter, but that's ok

enjoy!

The Dragon's Sorting

"Oooh, that annoying little wart-faced turd!" Merlin grumbles under his breath, and he makes Aithusa trip a little as she walks smugly over to the stool. The dragon-turned-human's smirk turns into a glare, but she quickly disguises it into a look of nervousness.

It wouldn't do good for the headmaster to find there was a thousand-year-old dragon currently disguised as a sixth-year transfer student.

Nope, that will not go down well.

Merlin continues to murder Aithusa with his eyes as she sits on the stool. McGonagall places the scruffy old sorting hat on her head (shheeesh! That hat really needs a manicure!) and steps back, expectant.

Merlin subtly connects his magic with the hat, enabling him to hear their mental conversation.

You! Oh, You should NOT be here! The hat was hissing.

And why is that Mr O'Mangy-Old-Hat?

THAT! That is EXACTLY why you should be here! I cannot bear to deal with your insolent, evil, clever, annoying little ways, and above that, you're not-

Aw, did you just call me clever?

-even human! Oh God, oh sweet mercy, the other-

Aw chum, I'm flattered!

-one isn't here is he? The creepy cryptic one – the one with anger problems-

Oh HAH! You mean Kilgarrah? Nah he's not here, thank Avalon.

Oh good, oh good. But I should have suspected you would be here when I saw Merlin-

Hang on O'Mangy! How did you know he was Merlin?!

Ah, danke. You just confirmed it.

Merlin, still listening, only intensifies his glare on Aithusa. Oh, the words they will be having later…

So, Aithusa sighs mentally, either unaware or ignoring Merlin's plans for murder, how'd you figure it out then?

Well, when you're plonked on a dusty shelf for the whole year in an old man's office, your thoughts do take you some interesting places. One day I was just guessing what 'm' name Merlin would choose next…and it all just sort of clicked.

Oh. Well…I think Merlin would be glad to hear that. In fact, he's listening to this conversation right now.

Merlin holds in a groan.

Yeah Merlin, Aithusa continues in a sing-song voice, come out, come out, wherever you are,

You are in BIG trouble MISS! ….anddd the warlock has joined the conversation.

Why Merlin! The sorting hat says. Greetings my Lord-

Oh shut it with the formalities you disease-ridden rag, you've never bothered with them before.

Oh, alright you childish bastard-

There we go.

-the things I have to deal with these days, honestly.

Um, EXCUSE ME?! Aithusa butts in. This is no time for a little friendly chit chat-

I wouldn't exactly call it a friendly chit chat-

More like an acquainta-

QUIET! Aithusa says, frustrated. You two do realise this is meant to be my sorting?

Jeepers! Patience child, patience-

I am NOT a child!

Yeah, Aithusa's got a point. If anyone's the child here it's you.

ALRIGHT! The hat screams. alright oldies, Merlin, get your ass out of this conversation. You're not even supposed to be in it!

Fine.

Merlin. Now.

Ok.

MERLIN.

Just leave it, O'Mangy. Aithusa says, rolling her eyes mentally, The stubborn warlock won't go anywhere.

FINE. Just stop calling me O'Mangy!

Ok McMangy.

The hat fumes – this is the longest sorting he has ever done – and they haven't even started yet! Ok, Aithusa. He says, I'm going to have to pretend that your very existence in this castle isn't illegal-

Boy, do I know what that feels like.

MERLIN! GO. AWAY! Anyway, the hat says more calmly, as I was saying, the sorting will now start. Hmm. HMMM. Interesting. Very interesting indeeeed.

Oh, will you quit will the pretence for once. You know I'm a Slytherin, Aithusa deadpans.

Shush! And no, I do not! I've put you in Hufflepuff in the past, ACTUALLY.

Dude. That was once. And it was only because you were in a strop-

Hats do NOT get in strops!

-with me. So please for the love of Avalon, JUST PUT ME IN SLYTHERIN!

Just do it hat. She can get real impatient if-

MERLIN!

The hat sighs, as if the world has come to an end (which it probably will do with these two let loose in the castle) Ok, ok. If you really must insist… The Sorting hat paused for effect, SLYTHERIN!

hope you enjoyed their little conversation