Chapter 3- Flattening The Curve

Nothing good comes out of a midnight knock on the door. In past times that either meant harm was coming her way or she slept through her phone ringing and it was Jay getting her up and to a scene. Since the latter wasn't an option she assumed it was the first, Hailey let out the smallest of jumps and shrieks before instinctively reaching for her gun. Again, nothing good comes from visitors at this extra late hour. Hailey didn't bother asking who it was, instead tip toeing from the couch to the front door. She was half amazed she was still up, having sat on the couch with both a bottle and glass of wine, sipping into oblivion. It's all she'd been doing since she got back from Med. Her person, her world, the only person she truly trusted and relied on was lying motionless, seriously ill, probably unconscious in an ICU bed with something horrible wrecking havoc on his body. Yes, try doing anything with those thoughts running through your head. The rest of the day was Hailey either staring into nothing, thinking of all the terrible things that were happening to Jay before countering those thoughts with kinder, happier memories of the two of them together. She was all done crying, wallowing in the fear and terror of the unknown. Jay was gone, a victim. If nothing else, she had to be strong because that's what he wanted. Falling asleep on the couch wasn't in her agenda, but she did it late in the afternoon. The lack of sleep from the night before finally won out. She stayed curled in an awkward position till the knock on the door rang out.

Hailey made it to the door as another round of knocks rattled against the other side of the door. Whoever it was wasn't going to take no for an answer, their determination causing Hailey to believe they truly were here to cause harm. Gripping the handle of the gun she rose to the tips of her toes and peered into the peephole, sighing as she noted the messy, wavy red hair on the other side. Those Halsteads may have had vastly different shades of hair, but the waves were near identical. Hailey took a breath, relaxed as she opened the front door.

"Oh, well…hello," Will balked at the sight of the gun in Hailey's hand.

"I come in peace," he remarked, hoisting up a grocery bag of goods.

"Will, call next time. I could've shot you."

"Please don't do that, there isn't room in the hospital." His attempt at humor failed epically. Any shroud of hope or normalcy deflated in Hailey at the thought of a filled up hospital, reverting back to her terrible thoughts on what was going on with Jay.

"Can I come in?"

"Do you have news?"

"Yes," Will sighed.

"And treats." Hailey smirked, removing herself from the resting position on the door, extending the gun filled hand for him to come in.

"Please put that away," Will squirmed, which made Hailey chuckle.

"Why are you so terrible around guns? I'd assume being related to Jay would make you immune to or used to them."

"Ah, a good assumption that is rather untrue. At the most we'd talk about the effects of guns or the aftermath of a gun fight, but he's never held one around me and definitely never kept them in a spot for me to find. I've actually never held a gun in my life."

"Really?!" Will nodded.

"Well here, take mine." Will's free hand was quick to shoot up, waving the piece away.

"I'm good. At this point I'd rather not know the feeling of holding one." Hailey made a mental note to never keep the thing where Will could see it, venturing to the gun safety in the closet while Will went towards the kitchen. He noted the wine bottle and glass in the living room, the cleanliness to the place as he set things down. It appeared Hailey was hanging in there, being strong in Jay's absence. She might've been a little tipsy, but at least the place wasn't in shambles.

"Well, I brought adult beverages but it appears you're well ahead of me," Will joked as Hailey gathered the bottle and glass.

"Yeah…if I'm going to be stuck in here for two weeks, might as well try and blur as much of it away as possible." Will held up tortilla chips and salsa, asking Hailey if she wanted some. Her response was to grab the bag and jar out of his hand and head for the couch. It was now that she realized she hadn't eaten in over twenty-four hours, not good when performing a long stent of drinking.

"Anything else?"

"Water would be great." Will put a wine glass back and grabbed a regular glass, filling it with ice and water before grabbing his wine before heading to the couch. Hailey was dipping hard into the salsa jar, chips cracking and disappearing in rapid fashion.

"Hungry?"

"Oh man, I just now realized I didn't eat since last night."

"Well, I'm glad you like it."

"So funny story, I've never been a big fan of salsa. Always viewed it as spicy tomato sauce. But this, this is really good. Or, I'm really starved." Will chuckled.

"I'm going to hope it's my fine selection in salsa that's converted you." Hailey shrugged, rolling her eyes in a joking manner before diving back in. This was probably the first time ever it was just the two of them together in a space sans Jay. It felt awkward, like a third element was missing. They were the sand and ocean with no waves: two things that were missing that third piece that made everything make sense. The two of them did their best to push away the silence, the unspoken of thing that was so true. Their person, their connection to everything was not here, like a ghost of the past that they dared not talk about. Will wasn't sure what to say or do, instead choosing to sit in silence and sip as Hailey continued to munch away. But she could only stand the hesitation and anticipation for so long.

"So, what brings you here so late," she began while wiping hands on her pant leg?

"Well, I promised Jay I'd take care of you while he's…in there," Will stumbled on.

"That's very sweet, but I can take care of myself."

"I think by take care of, he really meant look after. Make sure you're okay. Are you?"

"Sure," Hailey was quick to reply. Her face was plastered false hope, Will seeing right through it.

"Really? The day drinking and gun at the door says otherwise." Hailey sighed, returning to her corner of the couch with arms folded and tucked tight into her waist.

"No, I'm not totally fine. This was supposed to be this great simulation of the future…or potential future. We were going to be together all the time. Cooking together, working alongside each other in here or at the kitchen table. We'd have our evenings and nights to ourselves. But all of that was just a pipe dream, some stupid idea that I should've known wasn't ever going to be. It's the story of our lives. We get so close and then…" Hailey trailed off, looking past Will at nothing on the wall. She wanted to cry, but the tears still weren't there. Now she just wanted to punch something, smash a couple things and scream out in anger. Her life was never in her control and she hated that more than ever. Will began to reach out, trying to rest a hand on her person as an act of caring and compassion. But instead Hailey batted him away, curling up even more.

"I'm fine. I don't want to talk about it anymore," she hissed. If only she knew what was coming down the line, she'd see this very first encounter with Will as quite humorous. It was a great opening act to something beautiful. Will was quick to return to himself, take another sip before resting the glass on the coffee table.

"So, you said you have news."

"Hailey…it can wait till the morning." Hailey wanted to slap him in that instant. How dare he hide details of Jay from her. Blame the wine and sleep deprivation and stress on her mood.

"Oh no, you came all the way out here at this time of day. Spill. Now."

"Well, in my defense. I just got off work and ran to the store before getting here. So that's the reason for the late arrival."

"It's fine. What's going on?" Will paused, turned his body so he was sitting directly cross from Hailey, which didn't help her in the least. No good conversation comes out of pauses and direct eye contact. She was in the field of sharing bad news. She knew the tricks to softening the blow.

"It's a very good thing you brought him in when you did," Will began.

"He tested positive. His oxygen stats were low, too low for our liking when he came in. He had to be sedated and is on a ventilator. He's in a Covid ICU room. In summary he's spiked a really high fever which triggered a seizure. They have the fever stable but it's still dangerously high. He's essentially on life support and the doctors are seeing the early signs of Covid pneumonia. To be blunt, he's not looking good right now." Will cleared his throat, once again reaching over to try and grab Hailey's hand for comfort. Again, she swatted him away, was up and on her feet before she could register. Then came the scrambling in the kitchen, swaying from counters to fridge in search of drink. With a shaky hand she poured another large glass of wine, white this time. The gasps of fear, shock, disbelief were there between gulps. Will looked on with sad eyes and a helpless face. Rising from the couch he stopped at the doorway to the kitchen, resting against it as he watched Hailey come to terms with the news.

"But he was awake this morning. He was talking, moving, he dressed himself!"

"Hailey.."

"-No! There has to be a mistake. There's some mess up. Sure, he was bad. But he wasn't near death." Having finished the first dose, Hailey poured herself another, now fully shaking as she pressed the glass to her lips. She felt the wine dribble and drip out the sides of her mouth but didn't care. She was in shock, pain and simple.

"Hailey," Will called again.

"Will! Shut the hell up!" The urge to break something was right there. Glass in her hand was the perfect outlet and she took it, smashing it hard against the floor before going down to her knees and sobbing. Instinctively, Will went to the floor, picking up the bigger pieces of glass as Hailey cried out for Jay, some sort of sense for all of this. Only when he was sure there weren't injury enabling shards of glass on the floor did he embrace her in a hug. It was so odd, how similar his hug was to Jay's. It was large, tight, the level of caring and comfort right there with Jay. For a split second she swore it was him and all was right with her world once more. But opening her eyes to red hair brought her right back to what was really going on. Jay was so far away, in more ways than one, and there was nothing she could do to get close to him.

"I need to see him."

"They don't allow visitors right now."

"But, that's cruel."

"I know, but it's the rules. We can't risk exposing people to this virus and we can't have more viruses and illness floating around the hospital than there already is."

"So what, in Jay's most dire of moments and time of need he has to combat this totally alone?"

"Unfortunately, yes." Hailey sighed, pushing herself away from Will and rising. She found a spot to sit on at the counter and took it, leaving Will to rest on a kitchen table.

"So what do we do?"

"We try and be strong for him. Live life as best we can and be careful to not get this."

"That is some class A bullshit right there." Will chuckled, rubbing his eyes as he leaned back in the chair a little.

"Ugh, I know. But there really isn't anything we can do. It's all on the doctors and medication and machines at this point."

"And Jay."

"That too."

"So what is the course of treatment?"

"I'm really not sure. We're really learning things on the fly. We're trying stuff that hospitals in China and Europe have said have been helpful, but really there isn't a cure or solid treatment plan. We're making sure everyone is getting enough oxygen and fluids and we're trying a few anti-viral medications, but we're far off from being as confident in plans as we are about other illnesses." That did nothing to boost confidence in Hailey, instead actually making her more dreadful of what was going on in the ICU. Jay was dwindled down to an experiment, a startling realization. And no one was up there to advocate for his well being or survivability.

"They're not talking about rationing ventilators. We're not close to that. Things are strained right now, but we're not there."

"I…I wasn't thinking that.."

"Oh, but you were. I can see it. It's all people are talking about since that report out of Italy." He was right on that. It was a fleeting idea right then.

"When is the next phone call?"

"They'll call me in the morning."

"Wait, so no one is taking care of him now?"

"No, they are. They just promise to call at certain times of day. The most important thing is caring and treating patients. They can't be on the phone updating people every hour." The silence and unknown and distance was going to be the death of her. Since meeting him, she and Jay had never been this far apart for an unknown period of time. Even when they left at the end of the day, there was always the promise or assumed idea that they'd see each other in the morning or at the start of a work week. So to not know if or when she'd see him again, or what state he'd be, was scary, unsettling to say the least. But for this moment, at this very moment in time, Jay was alive. He might've been dying, severely ill, and resting in another dimension right now, but he was on earth. That was enough for tonight.

"I'm going to stay here tonight, make sure you're okay before anything else."

"That's very sweet of you, Will. But I'll be fine."

"No, no. It's decided. Plus, I have tomorrow off and I'd rather not sit at home alone. Not after all of this." Hailey glanced at the clock on the oven to read 1:15am, causing her to yawn as she removed herself from the counter.

"You take the guest room. I'm fine with the couch," Will spoke. Hailey was too tired to protest, simple nodding her head as she padded down the hall.

"Good night, Will. And thank you." Will nodded, stopping his gathering of blankets and pillows to look her way.

"We're all in this together. We're not letting him slip away easily." Hailey gave a thumbs up, nodded before heading to the guest room and face planting onto the bed. She forewent changing or even brushing her teeth. She was out in no time at all.

…

She was awakened to the smell of bacon, a scent for familiar yet foreign to her. It immediately brought her back to her youth, the weekend mornings where her mom would cook breakfast for everyone, smiling through the pain and heartache of the nights prior. Hailey vividly recalls going into the kitchen several times, beaming with excitement only to meet her mother's meager attempt at being strong and positive for her daughter. But she could only hide the bruises and marks to a point, the long sleeves pushing back against her frail body as she maneuvered around the kitchen. The two of them would lock eyes, speak in their silent ways. They both knew what she'd been through, both wishing for a way out or for her mother to find the courage to flee him. But that was a long time ago and bacon hadn't wafted out of her kitchen since she moved away. The morning of a cop didn't allow for long, thoughtful breakfast assembling. She was lucky to grab coffee and super on it if she had a banana or piece of toast in hand as she scooted out the door. Hailey sat up in bed, outstretched her arms before looking around.

He still was missing, there was something very off about the whole place. She still felt to be operating around a ghost. His essence was there, the disbelief of what happened still ripe in her being, but with the sunlight coming through the windows things seemed a little better. For a split second she thought about gathering her clothing and bag and heading for Med, soon kicking herself for forgetting that visitors weren't allowed. Plus, even if she was, she'd never be allowed in due to her exposure to this horrid virus. With slouched shoulders she found the strength to get out of bed, toss her hair out of her face, and make her way to the kitchen. The closer she got, the more alive and calm she felt. It wasn't Jay, but it was nice to have someone looking out for her. Try as hard as she did to push him away, Hailey was genuinely glad Will was still hanging out with her. This was felt so strongly as she entered the kitchen, smirking at the eggs, toast, bacon, and coffee cups and carafe sitting on the table. On top of it all, the kitchen was still clean! Thank goodness for a man who keeps things clean as he moved along.

"Good morning! Hope I didn't wake you," Will greeted, snapping Hailey out of her wandering mind.

"Oh, no. You didn't. It's just…I haven't had anyone make me breakfast like this since…forever."

"Really?! I'm going to have to train Jay on food prep." Hailey smirked, perhaps let a chuckle out as an attempt to make Will feel at ease. There was still that slight tension, the weirdness between them. Having only had the night prior to build something, which even then was tough, things were going to take time.

"Please, sit. I don't know how you take your coffee so I left it all out." Hailey noted the sugar and cream on the table next to the mugs. Again, the attention to detail was truly touching. He was taking his assignment from Jay very seriously and Hailey genuinely appreciated it.

"So? Have you heard anything?" Will nodded as Hailey planted servings of breakfast onto her plate. He waited to speak till he sat down across from her, buttering toast as he spoke.

"After the bad fever spike he remained stable through the night, but it's not a good stable. His temperature is still a little too high and they're concerned about his blood oxygen. It's still hovering in the high 80s and he's fully dependent on the vent."

"What about pain?"

"He's on some pain meds. We're seeing horrific achey-ness and overall pain with this, especially in bad cases like his. Covid pneumonia is looking to still be what he's battling. When I got off the phone they were getting ready to bring him down for some x-rays just to get a look at what's going on with his lungs."

"Okay," Hailey sighed, biting a piece of toast while she processed. Some part of her thought she'd wake up to hearing Jay had improved, was off the vent and asking to be sent home. Much to her dismay, it sounded like that was a long ways off.

"What happens if he does have this Covid pneumonia?"

"They'd start him on antibiotics. With a virus you can't take those since antibiotics don't improve viruses. But with pneumonia that's an infection, something that can be treated with those medications."

"What is he on right now?" Will rolled his eyes, biting his food and swallowing coffee as he spoke.

"Well, it's more like what isn't he on. We know so little about this, so we're pulling from what other countries are using and then basing that on what we have on hand or what is FDA approved. He's on a couple anti-virals that have helped with other viruses similar to Covid. He's on anti-inflammatory medication to help with the fever and pain. Then of course he's on regular pain meds and also anti-seizure medication so that those stop."

"Did he have another one?"

"They said he's had two and both have lasted several minutes."

"Shit," she breathed.

"Yeah. Unfortunately, everything they're doing is an experiment. We're doing our best to make decisions based on theories and reports, but this thing just has so many unknowns and effects people so differently that it's a struggle. But Jay is young, he's overall in great health and he's the most stubborn person I've ever met. We've got to stay strong for him." Hailey nodded, finishing up her food and rising to place her dish and cup in the sink.

"I've got it," Will spoke as he sprung up, grabbing it out of her hand before she could protest.

"Will, you don't have to do all of this."

"No, I made a promise," Will shot back as he put her stuff in the dishwasher.

"I know, and I really appreciate it and I'm sure Jay does too, but I'm fine. Honestly. This is all very sweet and kind but we both are still stuck in this lockdown and we both still have to live our lives. I have to go out there and police and you have to work at the hospital. I don't want to add anymore burden onto your life." Will glanced down at the floor, shifting in his weight as she spoke. She was trying her best to not come across as ungrateful or bitchy, but it appeared that wasn't working very well.

"Hailey, this isn't a burden to me at all. I want to help you. You mean a lot to Jay and while he's not here, I'm going to do everything I can to make sure you get through this. As far as I know, this will be the longest you two will be apart in quite sometime. That's a big thing to go through alone and I don't want to see my brother's person hurting or suffering alone. The doctors at Med are helping him fight, please allow me to do the same for you." Hailey pondered his words for a bit, eventually nodding her agreement to the idea. He was right, she did need someone or something to help her get through this. The distancing that she was having to go through because of her exposure made it impossible for anyone to be with her and help. So the fact that Will was looking past all of that and choosing to be with her meant the world. And, if nothing else, if Jay sent Will with a mission, who was she to stand in the way.

"Okay, deal. But on one condition."

"Yup."

"I get to actually do things around here." Will smirked.

"Deal."

"So first order of business, I'm going to clean up the kitchen. You made the meal, I get to clean it up."

"I could get along with that." Hailey smiled, rolling her eyes as she gathered the rest of the dishes and cups and was soon running the kitchen sink with water and soap. As she rinsed and loaded Will was in the living room cleaning up his bedding and things.

"How did you sleep," Hailey called from the kitchen?

"Great! I was so tired after that shift I was out in no time at all."

"Will, you don't have to be so nice. I know that couch is the most uncomfortable thing ever."

"No, I'm serious! I slept great."

"You're such a terrible liar." Will laughed, returning to the kitchen as Hailey finished putting everything away.

"Can I ask you something," Hailey started?

"Sure! Of course."

"Why did you come here, knowing I'd been in very close contact with this virus?"

"Oh, you think I haven't been exposed? I've admitted at least half a dozen patients in the last week. So if anything, you should be more fearful of me." It was Hailey's turn to chuckle.

"So we're just two p-tree dishes of Covid waiting to expose everyone to this virus?"

"Something like that."

"Oh shoot. SHOOT!"

"What?"

"Work, I forgot to tell them." Will's face dipped a little, the once lighter mood to the place leaving. They both hated the thought of telling others, admitting what was so feared. But she had to do it, there was no way they were going to be left in the dark.

"Do you want me to do it?"

"Nope, I can," Hailey shot back. Will went over to hug her, Hailey accepting his offer. It was still so odd, how similar the Halstead hugs were. For half a second she still felt like Jay was touching her and she clung to that.

"Do you want to brave the bedroom?" Will looked in the direction of the door, slowly exhaling as he thought.

"I can do it." Hailey wanted so badly to let him, not venture into that room till Jay was with her once more. But there was something in there that told her to resist. Jay wasn't dead, simply gone for a time with a hope of returning. She needed to keep the place ready for him, whenever that was.

"Let's do it together." Will allowed her to take the lead, the two of them pulling on gloves and masks, courtesy of Will's bag, before bracing the handle of the doorknob.

"Ready," Will asked? Hailey nodded, taking a breath as the door was opened wide. It was like de ja vu, a moment frozen in time. The bed was still just as unmade as the moment she found him. She could make out the human outlines at the end of the bed, her mind going right back to that image of Jay. It still haunted, troubled her. Her body shivering at that remembrance of seeing him in that way: sick, sleep deprived, exposed for anyone to see. This far out from that, she still concluded that was the worst shaped she'd ever seen him in. It still scared her, almost made her not want to see him right away for fear that he could look worse.

"Doing alright," Will asked? Hailey got herself out of her mind, noting that Will had moved past her, now beginning the collection of cups that were once by Jay's bedside.

"Yeah, just…memories." Will nodded, doing his best to juggle everything without dropping liquids onto Hailey's rug. It was the sight of her under garments that made her finally move, the embarrassment of Will seeing what Jay ripped off of her two nights ago overpowering the images of Jay. She was swift in grabbing things and soon in the bathroom tossing everything into a hamper. She took note of the things that were coming in twos: the toothbrushes, the towels, his brushes and hair products next to her makeup bag. Damn, they were so settled into their little life. Even in the small things they just went together. Everything had a place and nothing seemed out of sorts, except for when one of them was not there. She really missed him, sent out a mental message to him, one that said she loved him and he better not do anything stupid.

"He never went into the bathroom once he started showing symptoms. Do we need to clean it?"

"Oh yeah, right now we think the germs are airborne so for all we know it traveled in there. Wait, he never went to the bathroom, ever?"

"As far as I know. Between the headache and then coughing and stuff he barely had enough strength to get out of bed, let alone go to the bathroom and brush his teeth."

"Well, either he wet your bed then or his kidneys just stopped working, because he drank fluids."

"Thanks for that."

"Sorry, the doctor in me is coming out." Hailey reassured him that she was joking, the two of them working to remove the dirty sheets, pillowcases, blankets and every other linen that was in the room before tackling the disinfecting of the place. It was a thorough job, beyond a solid spring cleaning. The two of them spent at least an hour sanitizing the place before vacuuming and dusting and putting fresh sheets and blankets on the bed. It was then time to tackle the bathroom. Luckily they had a system already in place, and the square footage was smaller, it didn't nearly take them as long to complete.

"And now, we take the masks off," Will announced rather ceremoniously as he ripped the mask and gloves off of himself. Hailey giggled as she did the same, soon resting her weary self on the edge of the bed. All was clean and right in the room once more, ready for her person to come home.

"When do you go back to work?"

"Well, given that we're in a pandemic they ideally would want me there everyday. We've had to shift so many people up to ICU wards that we're left with a short staff everywhere else. But legally I have to take time off and I'd already done back to back shifts. So, I'll probably go in tomorrow."

"Okay, well why don't you take the guest room and I'll sleep in here tonight. You know, to get you off the couch and into a legit bed. You probably need the rest way more than I do."

"Sure, sounds good," Will agreed. Simultaneously, both their phones rang. In unison they grabbed their phones out of their back pocket and examined who was calling them.

"Voight."

"Update on Jay." The two hesitated, weren't sure if they should answer in the same room or scatter. They smirked, shrugged shoulders and then Will said he'd step out and take it.

"We'll tell each other what happened when we get off."

"Sounds good," Hailey spoke as Will slipped behind the door. She heard Will forego the niceties and just get to the point of Jay's X-ray. Oh how she wished she could continue to overhear that conversation, but the buzzing demands of her phone said she'd have to wait a little longer for the news.

"Hey Sarge. I know, I'm sorry I skipped everything yesterday. But, something happened with Jay…"

…

It wasn't good news. Jay indeed had Covid pneumonia, his left lung already clouding from the infection with the right not too far behind. After the scan his blood oxygen dropped a few more percentages, which usually isn't a bad thing but with Jay already in the 80s, any drop was bad. He was going to receive an infusion of fresh blood with antibodies to help combat the virus, but the infection was the thing they were the most concerned about. Thus the reason for the high fever and low blood oxygen. His body was doing it's very best to fight this thing but despite its' efforts, the virus and all it's menacing functions was taking over. Jay had no preexisting conditions and was an above average healthy person, doctors were scratching their heads over how Jay could be this bad off. Most of the Covid pneumonia patients they'd treated were either much older, had something else going on, or were in poor health. Since Jay was the total opposite there wasn't a clear answer for why he was as bad as he was. A promise of calling later in the day was the final farewell. Will said he heard alarms going off right before the call ended, but swore it wasn't Jay. Hailey had no clue how he'd know that since he wasn't there, but she was too shocked to say anything. Just once, she'd like to hear something good. Ever since they pulled out of the motor pool lot some four days ago, nothing has gone right or well. It's all been bad, each occurrence topping the previous. Will's dejected self then asked Hailey how her call went.

She cried, both on the phone and in telling Will. She could not believe they were here, the sudden weight of her possibility of contracting this awful virus making this latest round of outburst take place. She was now so scared, seeing the potential path in front of her. Voight told her to take the day off, that it was another round of paperwork for all since there wasn't a new case. If her mind wasn't off in an ICU room in Med, Hailey would've realized how rare this moment was for them to not have a new case. The last time they went this long without anything was quite some time ago. But Hailey insisted that she work today, saying the distraction of paperwork was something she was actually looking forward to. They parted with Voight saying he'd update the others and for Hailey to keep him updated. She promised to do so, hitting that red button extra quick to end the terrible task of telling people what was going on. She and Will hugged it out once more, the two of them splitting up and in the direction of a shower. Which is where we find Hailey now.

Palms are planted on the shower wall, head hung low to allow the water to run all over her back and head and drip down to wherever it would like. The water droplets felt so good, the high heat of the water steaming everything up and wrapping her in warmth like a good blanket. She didn't care if the hot water stung her, she needed to feel some sort of life in her. Her mind brought her back to the random couple mornings where they had enough time to shower together. One time it was because they had the weekend to themselves, the other because they were running late. She could still feel the slight embarrassment they both felt showering together for the first time; which was odd since they'd already seen each other in that state the night before. Perhaps it had something to do with having done it in the dark, but being exposed in the light was something they both had to get over, they realized. God, she'd never forget what he looked like under the shower lights and water. There wasn't a bad thing about him. The muscles in all their prefect ways, how he was so strong and fit and toned that he could take on anything yet didn't look like a meathead. His skin was perfection, the only blemish being the freckles on them and even then, those were stunning. He was running hands through his wet hair, Hailey standing on the other side of the glass door wrapped in a towel, wondering how she could compete with that and how she landed this work of art for herself. Jay turned to look at her, smiled wide and offered a hand.

"Come on, it's fine," he said to her, watching Hailey giggle and throw the door open before diving in. They both felt like they were breaking so many rules, doing things they weren't allowed to. In no time her arms were wrapped around his body, lips connected as they slowly shared their love for each other under the shower head.

"How are you holding up," shot Hailey right out of her dream, knocking her nearly on her wet ass as the voice spoke behind her. There was no way it was real. There wasn't a single possibility that he could be there. But how was she seeing him, able to hear him speak. She truly was losing it.

"How…how are you here?" He was fully dressed, Hailey watching the water dampen his jeans, darkening them as the two of them locked eyes. His shirt was getting wetter by the second, tightening around his built frame. He confidently smirked at her, eyes narrowing a little as he spoke.

"This is all a figment of your imagination."

"That or I'm crazy."

"No, never," Jay teased, which made Hailey smile and gasp a little.

"I think the better question is how are you doing." Jay shrugged.

"I've been better." Hailey noted that this imaginary Jay wasn't coughing, didn't look as frail and dying as the real person was she saw the previous day; which was great for her well being.

"I'm sorry this happened to you, is happening to you."

"I'd rather it be me than you. This thing is no joke." Hailey wanted so badly to reach out and kiss him. He looked so real, just inches away from her. Perhaps this was her mind spiking a fever, her body coming down with the virus. There is no explanation for what was going on. He wasn't there yet he was. Hailey was truly lost.

"Please keep fighting, just do the best you can. We have an unfinished life to get back to." Imaginary Jay didn't respond to that, instead looked down at his feet as he quietly replied.

"But what if I don't make it?" Hailey felt the tears dripping out, eyes blurring as she tried to find the words. Was this Jay reaching out from the other side? Were they about to get a terrible phone call that he'd passed? Will did hear alarms going off, maybe it was Jay after all and this was his goodbye.

"Then I'll love you forever," Hailey choked back. She looked up in search of a happy, smiling Jay, only to see her shower wall. He was gone, just like that. Hailey prayed it wasn't some symbol of things, a sign of things to come. She sped through her shower before stepping out, drying off, and finishing up her morning routine. When she made it back out to the living room Will was on the phone once more. It was the hospital, Jay was now developing blood clots in his leg and were traveling to his lungs. Apparently the alarms Will heard on the phone earlier were Jay crying out for help. The increased heart rate and uptick in breathing were signs of his body adjusting to pain and swelling of the his legs from the clots. He was able to return to a stable state, but he was now on blood thinners and even closer monitoring with the potential of having to undergo a procedure to remove the clots if the medication didn't work. Jay was becoming more and more of a medical mystery and miracle, no one understanding how he was this sick so quickly. Hailey spent the rest of the late morning and early afternoon deep in paperwork with Jay's final question repeating in her mind. How would she cope without him here. The thought was always there in the back of her mind, but now with the latest reports on him, she truly began to wonder what life without him would look like. Part of her thought she'd become an emotional mess, not leave her bed for days, weeks even; just sobbing and living a depressed life waiting for something that was never coming back to her. Or, she counteracted, she'd trudge on with life, live it to the fullest of potentials in his honor. She'd become sergeant and take over Intelligence one day, maybe up and move to a whole other city and start over. She'd eventually find someone else that could make her happy and in love, but she'd always hold him as number one in her life. Just the thought of having to go through all of this without him was enough to make her forget about working.

"I need fresh air," she announced to Will just before the setting of the sun. Will turned away from his watching of the news to see her desperate, sad self begging for a distraction or something to brighten her mood. Will had to admit, he needed to get out of the confined walls as well. He thought for a second, the little lightbulb over his head lighting up with the best idea yet.

"Grab a mask. We're going on a little trip."

…

"I thought you said we couldn't go visit him."

"We can't," Will said as they pulled into Med's parking lot.

"Soooo what are we doing here." Will sighed, so many questions. But then again, it was the nature of her job to ask questions and to never be surprised.

"You'll see," Will answer as they rounded to the doctor's parking lot, waving his parking pass on the scanner and waiting for the arm to allow them access. Hailey was very lost as they wound their way up to the very top, certain this was some weird moment where they'd be smoking pot and spilling their feelings or Will really wanted to keep her company, which honestly made her shutter.

"Will," she worriedly spoke as they made the last turn for the top.

"We're almost there." Was that a hint of evil in his voice? Was he suddenly the most sinister brother in the history of the world? For Christ's sake, she let this stranger into her home, let him have full access to everything and she barely knew him apart from his name! Her hand was on the door handle, about to bolt when the car came to a stop.

"And we're here! What are you doing?" He pointed to Hailey's hand on the car door handle, furrowing his brow and waiting for her to relax.

"Oh…just, out of habit I suppose." Will wasn't buying it but also knew that he had to finally reveal what they were doing here. The suspense had gone on for far too long, Hailey's reaction making that obviously clear.

"So, the ICU floor is floor three…" Will began, using his finger to point upward by 1, 2, 3. Hailey now felt royally embarrassed, now she was the creep for thinking the worst of Jay's brother when all he was trying to do was ease her anxiety and separation stress.

"And Jay's room number is 43 so knowing how everything is laid out, he's window number six." Hailey followed his finger, counting six from the left side and gasping a little when he stopped at a lit up window.

"That's his room?"

"Yup, that's his room." Hailey could've cried, she'd never been so excited to be yards away from someone. She swore she could feel him, smell him, that energy of his touching her. He was right there. Hailey beamed, giggled a moment or two to combat the urge to cry. She'd done enough sobbing in front of Will to make him think she was an emotional wreck and she wanted that to be the farthest thing from the truth.

"So why is the light on," she chose to ask. As long as she kept talking then the tears would stay at bay.

"Probably working on him. I'm sorry, just checking in on him. We're just about at that time where they'd go over everything for the evening rounds." Hailey nodded, eyes fixated on that illuminated window. She didn't notice Will turning around in his seat, reaching behind her for a plastic grocery bag. Only when he tapped her shoulder did she stop her daydreaming of Jay and how he might look, sound, and feel like right now.

"What's that?"

"It's seriously the only thing I could find in there," Will joked as he pulled out Arnold Palmer Arizona teas that were in a can and a bag of Funyuns.

"Even in a pandemic, people don't want these." That one made Hailey laugh.

"I like this tea!"

"Well, you're the only one."

"I guess this whole pandemic is great market research." Will just about snorted his drink back out.

"Yes, because this whole thing is just one giant market research project. Forget the virus and masks and lockdowns, it's a test for panic shopping to see what customers truly want."

"Exactly." The two of them enjoyed a good chuckle over their startling realization of the world event, at first not hearing Will's phone ring.

"Are you going to get that," she asked? Will jumping at the ringing right before picking up.

"Yup," he answered, Hailey listening to the rattling of results and number and other medical terminology that she didn't understand. The whole time the phone call was happening she resumed her glueing to the window. Jay was right there, perhaps the phone call happening right in that room. It was their lifeline into that space, almost like a glimpse into his little unconscious world. She'd never missed physical touch and close proximity more than she did right then. Nothing was more important to her than finding a way in there. She had to see him, but this spot was everything right now.

"Well," she asked when Will was finished, still not leaving Jay's window.

"His temperature has dropped a little, now down into the high 102s. He's still fully on the vent but it appears the blood thinners are working. Last scans of the legs and lower body show the clots are there but are getting smaller."

"Good! What about the lungs?"

"That one is about the same. Still bad, still struggling. When they suctioned him they said they got a lot of mucus out and it showed the signs of infection. But for right now, he's holding after a rough day."

"Hang in there, Jay," Hailey quietly spoke to the window, watching the light go out.

"And now they're letting him rest."

"Good. He needs it." Will nodded. The two of them sat, stared, and ate for the next few moments, each praying for Jay to cooperate, make it to the following morning. Their lives had dwindled down to portions of a day. Gone were the long term outlooks of forever, at this point if Jay made it twenty-four hours they'd be overly ecstatic.

"Do you think he can hear what's going on around him? Is he at all aware of what's happening to him?"

"Probably not. He's in a deep coma. People in the past have reported being able to hear things when they're under, but he's really, really under the drugs and exhaustion and unconsciousness. If he can be aware of anything it's something in his own world." Hailey slowly nodded, biting a corner of her lip. There was some saving grace in all of this, that being Jay wouldn't remember any of this part of his journey.

"Was he scared? When you guys last spoke?"

"Knowing his fear of hospitals and especially having to be unconscious while people tried to help him, probably. But he never told me that or let on that he was feeling that way."

"I hate this. This whole thing is just…insane, heartbreaking. I don't really even have words for it."

"I know. And I can't just sit on the sidelines anymore." Hailey finally peeled away from Jay's window to look over at Will.

"What do you mean?"

"I'm going to ask Sharon tomorrow if I can transfer to the Covid ICU floor." Hailey's eyes went wide.

"What? Can you even do that?"

"It's a pandemic. Doctors and nurses are stressed, tired, and need backup. I can see if I can take one of their places. But I can't do this waiting game anymore, not when I can help."

"But, you can't treat him."

"I know. But I can at least see him." Hailey reached over to place a hand on his shoulder, jostling it a little.

"Thank you, for both of us." Will nodded.

"But will you still want me to come over, now that I'll really be exposed to this?"

"Of course! You have a promise to keep, remember? But Will?!"

"Yeah."

"We don't need two Halsteads fighting Covid."

"I know, I'll be careful." Hailey smacked his shoulder before pulling her hand away. For the reminder of the hour they were up there, the two of them finished off the bag of Funyuns and drank the last drops of tea. Will was the one to announce it was time to head home. Jay was resting and the two of them needed to do the same thing. Sleep was going to be their best defense against things and plus, neither slept all that well in quite sometime. Before Will backed the car out and turned away from Jay's window, Hailey sent Jay her goodnight message: that she loved him and she'd be back soon.